If they don’t care, cut them off. Dont keep getting hurt… You’ll eventually stop caring. They aren’t going to change so easiest thing to do is remove yourself and your kids because they will eventually notice
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Don’t talk to any of them for a while and when they go looking for you wondering why… Tell them that. Ignore the calls. Leave those text on read. Go on fb and ignore their comments.
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Maybe they don’t get along with your kids as well or maybe your kids don’t behave and your parents don’t want to deal with it. Ask them : ‘are my kids brats? Otherwise I don’t really understand why you exclude them’. See what they say.
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As someone who never had grandparents at that age nor did my daughter neither of us had that choice. Your best bet is to realize that you have to make a choice. (A) Forget about it and go on about your life as if they aren’t there, do your own things with your daughter-dress up in pretty clothes and go have dessert at a nice restaurant or go to a tea shop/restaurant and have tea and tiny sandwiches like an English tea, plan a trip this Christmas to see The Nutcracker ballet. The list is endless what you can do. OR (B) have a one on one/two conversation with your parents and tell them everything you have said here. If they don’t get it or understand how you feel, let it go. They may never understand and you’ll have to circle around and act like they don’t exist.
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We are grandparents añd I cannot even imagine how any grandparent can treat one better than the other.Every child has their own wonderful personnality and we love our grandchilldren each for their unique way. Our love for all of them is never ending.
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Try not to sweat it. Definitely don’t speak on it again. You’ve stated your feelings now give them time to fix it or else just focus on the experiences you can provide your children.
I’m not sure this helps or not, but I am a grandparent of 4. I raise my oldest grandson and hes 8. I have another daughter who has a son that just turned 2. Up until last month they lived with us and as a single mother I have been watching her son to save her in daycare expenses. A year later my other daughter had a son. And my son just had his first little girl last month. I feel I spend all my time with just the two boys and Don’t see the other 2 as much, and when asked to babysit I often times won’t because I just feel so worn out and drained. Not because I Don’t love them or want them, because I do. More than ever. I just never get any me time anymore and have not had any me time in 27 yrs with all my kids grown up. Maybe see how your parents feel as sometimes when I go places, I’m past the whole pack a diaper bag, bottle, dirty diaper stage. Just sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and constantly chasing kids, tantrums, crying, fighting…gets to be alot on grandparents too. This maybe not same case, but maybe they take the easiest ones to take at the time.
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Plan things to do as a family. Do 4H scouts. Church activists. Keep them so busy they won’t have time for grandparents. They won’t Change so you have to
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I’m an aunt ,there is 6 kids they all grown up now but they were always with me but 1 of them I would be hesitant to take with dont get me wrong I loved him but he tired me out and then the other 5 would suffer.
He needed my attention 100%
So ask the other how is your kid when they went out.
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Does the child not notice, and feel hurt. I couldn’t do my grandchildren that way. Not a one of them
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I totally understand this! Not so much my paret but absolutely the rest of the family. I don’t have any advice and I havnt figured it out either, but I do understand the feeling.
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I parent of my kids who were always treated less than other grand kids I made it that md and wife gave them all the attention and didn’t need anyone else they’re your kids you spoil them
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Grandparents always have favorites. It’s not fair or nice but it happens 
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I would definitely have another conversation with them and spell out how hurt you are, how it will eventually make your kids feel "less than ". If they don’t get it, limit your interactions with them.
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Don’t force your child on to anyone who is not actively trying to be in their life. Focus on the people that make time for you and your child. If you keep begging for attention you will just break your own heart and soon your child will pick up on that too
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First off, You’ve got this, don’t let those kind of people knock you down, that’s a them problem, not a you problem. Your ONLY obligation is to protect your child from people who might hurt them. 
I refuse to allow my child around someone who will hurt them like that. My son is 4 and he will absolutely not feel that hurt.
His aunts and uncles (not blood) would do more, in an instant than some blood would.
Blood doesn’t make a family. My son has PLENTY of blood and non blood family, he has no need for people who don’t prioritize him and he will know his worth.
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Poor Ouma she had 27 grandchildren.
Is your child ill behaved when with them?
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Find a kind elderley neighbour and invite her to tea and cake with your little one. Maybe she is lonely and will like a child to spoil.
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I totally understand this. My mom was doing this also. She would take my oldest and one of my sisters oldest. All other grand kids didn’t ever see or hear from her. I ended up putting my foot down and stopped letting her do it. It wasn’t fair for my other kids and they didn’t understand. I don’t resent her for it. But it def hurt my feelings and I felt like in the end I made the choice to make it right. Sucked because she literally just cut him out but he’s older now and doesn’t even remember any of that.
Unfortunately you can’t make someone love and want to spend time with your kids, even your parents.
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Are your kids as well behaved as the other ones?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am starting to resent my parents: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
My ex mother in law does this to my daughter as well. All the other grandkids get to go on trips to the Smithsonian, or on a dinosaur dig in the Dakota’s or to a tropical island for goodness sake. She’s not once ever done anything with my daughter. I’ve told her every summer that she is more than welcome to spend part of her summer break with her, but she never asks to have her. I’ve stopped offering as of this year. Her loss.
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Well you take your kids somewhere. Don’t depend on your parents. Build your own life with your kids. Your parents are missing out. They are the Ins who will regret it. Maybe they should give you an explanation why?
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My FIL & my own mother played favorites within my own kids. I stopped them all from seeing any of my kids. I had 4. Tell your daughter the truth. They are horrible people. Then live your life. Don’t tell them about plays, concerts or anything else. You will meet someone who will love to be involved in your child’s life. Like an adopted grandparent. If/when you do, encourage that relationship. Lots of people out their who would kill for the love.
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Find some friends with kids, and take your kids to fun places. You will have a blast without mom and dad. Your mom and dad will live to regret there choices.
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It’s sad but grandparents are humans and they do have their favorites. Simply explain to your child that she is just not one of their favorite and it’s not because anything is wrong with her. Love her more and distract her as much as possible from them . As for your siblings, they will think that you are a nag because their kids are accepted . Honey, it is what it is so start taking care of you and your child’s sanity .
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My children are grown and have kids of there own my mother has never even met. I tried as my children were young but she said and did things to hurt me and my children so I decided no more are you hurting my children. I haven’t talked to her or my brothers for quite some time my brothers live with her. I was her only daughter.
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Don’t let your parents hurt your children, just pull away from them and fill your children’s lives with people that don’t make them feel that way!! So sad☹️
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I am a grandmother now to six children and love each and everyone the same! However I still remember when I was young and my grandmother gave special gifts to all the grandchildren who lived close to her. We lived a couple hours away and did not see her much. We did not get those special gifts even though we visited on holidays. And yes I was hurt!
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I’m doing it for my kids. I used to feel like you and hell No! Not anymore darling. They don’t even feel it anymore. My mom never bought anything for my kids but she buys for the rest of her grandchildren. And she wanted to dictate how and what I should buy for them I told her since you never bought them anything you don’t have a say in what I buy and don’t. I got used to it. I stopped getting hurt and DIY.
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Family can’t always deliver, it is painful! Make a friend with a senior, trust me they need it. Adopt a grandmother for your child, create what is missing! 
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Totally get it.
Distance yourself and kids from them
It will be so much more healthier for you and them.
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I have the same problem after my granny passed…
It took me a while but i came to the conclusion its her loss…
My mother got real upset when my kids started dealing with other people , now my kids r grown an its HER LOSS…
It sounds bad an hatefull but a child cant miss who thy dnt c…
I know it hurts but forcing them to deal with ur kids will only hurt UR KIDS MORE N THE LONG RUN…
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I can tell you now as the child always left out, and unadored, you job now as mom is to make sure you spend as much time as you can with your children and forget the rest of them. I am a full grown adult still remembering how it felt, and my whole family let it happen, even my mom. get away from them as soon as you can, and stay away!
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No it’s not bad. I completely understand where you’re coming from. There’s no reason your child shouldn’t be involved and yet your dismissed when you bring it up. It’s hard but families can be like that. I’ve just learned to be thankful for what I do have, and try not to focus on the negatives like that, it’s not gonna change if they don’t see a problem themselves. I wish you and your kids the best of luck!
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It’s sad because your kids are going to see the favoritism towards their cousins and be hurt. You just have to be matter of fact about it and let them learn the lesson. Very sad.
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That is really sad. Your children have got to know that they are being over looked. Wouldnt it be great if one of your kids asked your parents " “when is it my turn?”
My kids were the ones consistently left out. Rumors were spread. My girls are parents themselves now and resent their childhood
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I’m sorry my mother did this to my children, it hurts them dearly…she continue even after I confronted her on it…I ended up moving out of state, not the only reason but a big part…
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To me it’s simple; you want to treat mine differently than all the others fine but you won’t do it again because you won’t be seeing them anymore. Kids pick up on this kind of crap way before us parents give them credit for being able to and it WILL BECOME AN ISSUE AS THEY GROW UP! Your babies deserve better!!!
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Have one last discussion with your parents truly telling them how you feel and let them know they are setting the stage for their future relationship with your child/children…then let it go!
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There is always more than one side to the story.
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Well I feel for you. Your mother should treat her grandchildren the same. I think it is a matter of time that your child picks up on it. I am a grandmother and have two grandsons, a 3yr old and a 9 yr old. I treat them the same. Playing favorites is wrong on many levels. She should know better
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This is sad because when a child is made to feel like they aren’t as good as or as important as other children they never forget that feeling. Praying for you and your children. Grandparents should never make a difference in their grandchildren.
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You need to sit down with your mother and let her know how your feeling. Do you live close to her. She should not play favoritism.
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Bump 'em. It ain’t worth the stress. Focus instead on getting over the pain of rejection from your parents. You and your kid will be better for it!
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I know how you feel, my grandmother get the same things to us when we were kids. Am now 60 yrs old and still feel the pain of being rejected, I always wondered why she treats us this way. No answer to that now because she is not around to answer. So love your kids and take them on vacation as much as you can so
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My mother in law did the same thing, but my mom made up for her loss, my mom never showed any difference between her grandchildren. My kids didn’t care and neither did I it was her loss not ours.
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I had a friend that had that problem. The truth of the matter was her son was a TERROR. Not saying your children are like that, but my friend would innocently ask me too about why her in-laws did not want to take her son. I personally thought that was the reason, but I never told her. Parents do not like to hear that.
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Don’t resent your parents and don’t feed your kids negative conversations about them. Your parents are the ones missing out and in the long run, guess who’s going to always be there when granma or grandad needs ??? Your kids. Don’t worry girl because I’ve been there and my kids are fine!!!
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Just maybe, just a thought, they don’t like you or your husband—i don’t know who the in-law is. I know my cousin had that trouble. The in-laws did not like her at all and left her son out of everything.
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Same thing happened to my kids with husbands Mom. Not fair
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Further to my comment. Adopt a Granny is another idea as these people are lonely and would welcome your children .
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Don’t feel bad my mother in law has done the same with my children
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I know a couple who are grandparents and they choose to take some kids out on one-on-one trips over others because some of their grandkids do not listen to directives and are “whiney”. Not saying that is the case, or that its fair. I just am repeating what I have heard someone else say who is on the other side of the fence. Perhaps someone mentioned this possibility or maybe not.
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It’s so sad for family to be like that and what’s Bad is when they put outside kids over your I done came to the Conclusion just leave me And my kids alone
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God I’d give anything to have the one grandaughter that is kept from me. Is she a behavior problem? Is there something that is different from the others?
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Really, what can you do? I know you feel badly, but you’ve already spoken with the grandparents about how you feel.
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It really is sad… both sets of our parents litterally had custody of our siblings kids at one point… My daughters are chop liver lol… they’re loss
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It’s a sad state of affairs for you and hurtful, but you can’t do anything about it.
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Treat them the way they treat your children. Like they are not a priority. Do you and your kiddies. Go to the park, swimming pools, book play dates, do crafts (I know Covid has put a limit on what we can do for now) your kids will be so preoccupied with life, they won’t even notice
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I have grandchildren I don’t even see but I still.love them .And I’m not going to be miserable because the parents don’t bring them around I’m 79 and life is too short. My other grand and great grand live close to me I see them as much as I can. I feel its the kids missing out because they are missing out knowing me and the love I have for them. My husband felt the same way. But they make us the bad guys like we don’t come around. My hubby passed away last Jan .So its just me now and you know what I’m not carrying that burden around on my shoulders. Not a one has ask how I am if I need anything. Not a one ever sent a card. If I stayed upset about that I would be most miserable. And if you beat yourself up over this you will be miserable too .let the Grandparents explain why they don’t take them anywhere. Let the children ask them why can’t we go with you sometime. Let them answer them.
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I would recommend you don’t show that it bothers you. Your child can read your feelings, facial expressions etc. Your child might even hear your conversations regarding the issue. You will make your child feel less than. It could affect her for life. Try to keep her so busy with activities she enjoys that she has no reason to miss out on trips with her grandparents. It’s terrible your parents are doing this to your child but there’s nothing you can do about it.
I m sorry and its your parents who are missing out.
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Damage done! If it was my parents, and they knew how I felt, my heart would be crushed. I would excuse myself from events with Mom and Dad and keep my kids away from that negativity.
My parents did the same. Many reasons why. But was so noticeable. Hurt like heck. As i get older and these resentments are coming back. So much has changed. But so much is the same.
Thats terrible. Your parents are going to miss out on your beautiful kids. They won’t want to do anything with them when they start getting older
I had the same problem, my parents have 6 grandchildren, but mine has always been left out. My boys know that my parents have neglected them, but as they have got older it is they don’t care anymore and we don’t see them anymore to worry as they are with their favorite child and grandchildren in Australia.
I feel this in my bones. My in-laws made a huge deal when I got married about how they were getting four new grand children. I also was pregnant with another child shortly after. Their daughter’s children were older and they rapidly had five great grandchildren. They literally watch these great grandchildren every week, sometimes daily. Never make time to see my kids at all.
Well my dear my late mom use to just gift to my daughter never my son, it upset me endlessly but nothing changed her. The day she died just my daughter inherited stuff not one of her other six grand children got anything. It seems sometimes grand parents can be very unfair 
and there is just nothing one can do about it but learn not to be like them one day. I make sure I give my grandkids as near as possible to the same monetary value when I give something. My eldest grand daughter is my soft spot but I never show it and she never get more than the others…
My mother in law has 5 grandkids, 4 at the time that this happened but all were my husbands children the youngest was my biological child and the older kids were from his previous marriage. This woman hated my child even though it was her grand baby. When my husbands father died (mother in laws ex husband divorced since the 90’s) she sued for his life insurance that was supposed to go to my husband and his brother. During mediation where you try to come up with compromises and agreements she tried to make us agree that she gets half the money and the other half be put in trusts for the grandchildren’s college. All the grandkids besides the one she doesn’t like. She did a lot of messed up things like during Easter she woke all the kids up besides mine to do Easter egg hunting and left none for my daughter, or the time we drove 4 hours to her house to have a birthday party for my daughter because I wanted to try to get along with her and she decided she was going to get my daughter a birthday cake. My daughters birthday is late January and she turned her birthday party into a late Christmas party and the birthday cake said merry Christmas and she let one of the other kids blow the candles out instead of the birthday girl. Then gave them all “Christmas presents” but didn’t get the birthday girl anything. Things just like this happened for years and we no longer have contact with her. You can either love all these children or you can love none. That’s my rule now.
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For me being this kid without grandparents but by aunts and uncles. I stopped caring about their lives. I love them in the since their family but thats it. There is petty stuff leading to the choices of the grandparents. But when it comes to holidays don’t get anything for them don’t send cards don’t answer their phone. Laslty don’t feel guilt tripped. As they are making you to be the bad guy. Enjoy life with your kids teach them right. And break the cycle.
Oh I can relate to this , all the of us in my maternal grand parents only us sibling never get the attention or any gift from them, I saw my mom cry over the situation because she feel sorry for us , don’t put them in your plan , if they show up good if not it’s ok don’t get disappointed remember life is circle.
Spend as much time with your kids…visit the grandparents,but don’t expect anything from them. Don’t show your hurt or anger in front of them, rather teach or show them to be kind to their grandparents. As they age,they will remember all the things YOU did with them …
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Then…let it go…my mother had 11 grandkids and…the sun only rose & set on my sisters 4…life is too short…love your children & let it go…life is too short…there are many other problems in life that we need to worry about:thinking:
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My Dads mother treated my brother and I poorly compared to my cousins. I never understood why. I didn’t realize it much when we were kids. I was very aware when I was an adult. In the end, my Mom and I ended up taking care of her. I was never rude or unkind to her.
I know my parents kinda do it too. And it is cause we have more money then my brothers so I can do things with them. Or I already have a family cabin and that child don’t so they always invite that one child to the cabin. Or that one child has had bad life cause of mom is dead beat but (not my brother he is trying) so we all feel like they do more for my one brother cause they are having family issues
I don’t know the answers but I do see that would be hurtful. Could you talk to your siblings about it? Or even the other grandchildren? Get them to invite her along. Or ask your mum straight out what the reason is?
Their loss… Enjoy your time with your children… and yes do what op have said when they want to have the kids mention you’re to busy.
Not speaking ill of no one maybe God is sparing your child from pain and hurt seek the Lord he give your answer.
Enjoy your children
When ur children get older the will see what’s going on my younger son has said for years I have nothing for his dad’s side of the family the don’t call him or have anything to do with him so why waste his time
Human behaviour is difficult to predict! These things are common happening when you are in joint family. Try looking for friends of her age and allow her to mix with them sometimes instead of your siblings children. Things will normalise as they grow. But parents play big role in this cultural behaviour.
Look back on your childhood. Did your parents give more attention to one child over the other? Were you the child who was forgotten by them? Maybe your resent them because of that or some unsolved issue from childhood.
My late MIL did this til the day she died, with our 4 kids. Cuz she didn’t like me. Tho, when ask , over & over WHY…she never gave a reason, other than to say " idk, I just don’t ". She died , never changing . We’d been married 25 yrs at that point.
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My mom .babysat my nieces and nephews but hardly ever mine. Only when I had to go to the hospital for some reason
Say to your mum in a light way “I feel a bit miffed my Bruce has been out with you a lot true?if mother says not really say several times ) then ask how many times have you taken my child it would make me so pleased if you could take my daughter occasionally please
This happened to me god love my parents and in-laws all dead now but I have two boys grown up now with kids of their own when they were growing up with five giri cousin on the one side the never got took anywhere but the girls got took everywhere holidays abroad I name it they got it my boys nothing as for my parents they weren’t even welcome at the house my mum hated kids unless you were my brother’s two children that was my boys exclusion fron grandparents we made memorys took them camping abroad ect made sure they never felt left out I’m sorry your parents are wrong if they can’t have you children the same amount of time explain to the rest the reasons get your mum to explain why she is the way she is I told my boys and to this day they tell there own kids about it and the reasons why but by god they loved them all and would do anything for them they proved that so many times and that’s FAMILY
Eventually your kids will notice, and ask you, or maybe even them, when my kids asked, we quit bringing them, my in-laws wouldn’t have known them if they stepped on them, it’s their loss.
I can relate on this one my son is 10 and has stayed at his grandparents once the other grandkids have s room
Maybe they have trouble disciplining your child , ,maybe ask the gparents to go on an outing with you and your child together.
It’s a challenge!! Try to be the “adult”… INVITE your parents to an outing with your little family. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but YOU TREAT them. Maybe your daughter can make a sweet card or some craft as a gift. Be bold, specific, yet humble; tell them you miss their company. We found PRAYER WORKS–> sincerely pray for peace, gratitude, & harmony to build love& compassion throughout your family.
My ex in-laws were crazy about my brother-in-laws 2 kids. They could do no wrong, while my son and his cousin barely existed. It bothered me for a long time, but I know my son and his cousin weren’t lacking in the love and proper upbringing department. I think they were just trying to pick up where the parents were slacking. My son and his cousin are amazing, hard working young men now, and the other 2 ended up being raised by the grandparents, and, well, they’re surviving. Like I said, it did bother me for a while, but they missed out on two amazing young men!
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I know how you feel. My husband’s parents had tobraise two of his cousins and they took them camping in their RV alot. My son felt left out. But in our case we mentioned how my son felt and they started taking him too. In their case they didn’t even think about it because they were raising the girls, and didn’t consider that they were leaving out one grandchild.
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My grandmother was the same way. For whatever reason, my siblings and I weren’t accepted but my cousin all were somehow special and got all the attention, gifts, etc.
She’s dead now and I still carry scars of not being good enough.
Please don’t force your kid on them. That’s what my parents did. We had to spend time with my grandmother and it just made the rejection so much more in our face.
I wish instead they would have explained that some people make shitty choices that results in sometimes causing pain to others. Make sure she understands that she is still important and loved no matter what. Protect her from them as much as possible by not exposing her to it when possible.
I look at it this way. From years of nots as well. Ive moved n not told anyone. 8 years because mom became ill. I took care of her alone. Lets sister in and told her what shed done over n over. She apologized.said how she was jealous of me. I never knew. Just figured she hated me being mean all the time. I have forgiven n show her how carefree n fun I can be. N she regrets allot. I never forget because 40+ years of never being close enough to say were sisters. I learn to distance now so I wont get hurt. Again. Mom still gets to me as well sometimes. Distance I like. Its better for me. Their loss. Sorry you cant pick blood relatives but u can pick besties that are considered family. <3
My question is do ever invite them to join you? Or do you always wait for them to make plans ? This works both ways. Maybe they feel you don’t want to be included. Too much info missing to give good advice.
Grand parents are playing favorites. Its not right
Make your own special times with your children. Your feelings will cause not only a riff with the adults but also the kids. Let it go.
yeah, my kids picked up on that shit young, how come grandma never does anything with us or take us bumming around like she does (cousin)
Why does she not love us an only loves (cousin)
So to protect my kids, we barely saw her, she always hated me, to this day don’t know why ??
she passed a year ago, they refused to go to hospice, her great loss 