My SO works 8-5 pm Mon-Fri, and I drive him to and from work every day. I got online classes 9-3 pm Mon-Fri while I take care of our three and 1-year-old daughters, oh and I am 35 wks pregnant. We go halfers on our vehicle, rent, and bills. Anyways, I never get breaks. He doesn’t really either, but at least he gets out of the house daily. I notice when he comes home, he naps, and he’ll nap until our daughter’s bedtime, then wake up to play games until 12-1 am. I get no help when he does that. I used to have supper ready for him, but I’ve found myself resenting him and slacking on supper for him. I do not find that fair at all. Am I being petty??? I just recently started calling him out, and I can feel his hostility now—advice ladies.
Honestly he doesn’t need that evening nap. He’s got plenty of time to sleep when kids work. If he wants to play games then he can after he puts atleast one kiddo to bed. Teamwork. You’re not a stay at home mom with school work. I was a single mom that went to college. Was tiring but having another “child” isn’t the way to go; he has to cut that nap and spend time with family. And I promise you’ll feel so much better: my husband works 3rd shift and still sleeps 8 hours in the evening but he was only spending 2 hours a day with kids, so I pushed back. Now he’s spending about 6 with the kids. Huge improvement, just means he rearranged sleep schedule and he still gets his 8 hours of sleep.
Maybe instead of “calling him out” you should try to have a sit down, healthy conversation with him about your needs and expectations.
You both need YOU time/a break. He has the weight of bills on his shoulders. You have the household on yours. When he gets home give him an hour to unwind from work. Then he should give you an hour to unwind and relax
You need to talk to him. Don’t hold it in. Rational or not, your feelings are what they are. I think they are valid. He can’t help working, but the napping? Nope. Gaming? Nope.
If he was any kind of man he wouldnt be playing games instead of taking care of his family
Don’t call him out… Y’all need to have a real conversation…go from there
Tell him to stop being a man child and start helping with HIS CHILDREN and house work.
Go out when he comes home.
Y’all need to sit down n communicate.
Have a sit down and discuss things that are happening in the home
My husband works and I stay home. We have 3 kids. And basically my main “job” during the day is taking care of the kids. Bc if I was working they’d be in daycare. I usually am Able to get housework done as well. But husband does his share of housework and parenting when he gets home bc he helped make the kids and we all live in the house together so the work needs to be shared. It wasn’t always like this, marriage counseling helped a lot. He still gets time to himself to game and I get time to myself to do what I want, and that means we alternate who takes more of the load that day. But I would recommend counseling.
Talk to him about it, you’s need to try work as a team, maybe talk to him about having a nap later once you’s have both sorted out the kids and put them to bed.
Then you’s both will have time for yourselves x
I’d have a serious talk with him. Napping at like 530-6pm is WAY too late. Specially if he works at 9am, why he need a nap? I work 2am-10am, not going to bed until 7-8pm and do nap while kidd are in school until 2 but during the summer I just stay awake
Half is never fair on women because men don’t remotely pull their weight around the house. He can’t grow a baby halfsies, right? You got the shit end of the stick and it’s time to renegotiate. I predict you’ll leave him eventually because this kind of male is entitled and will only change long enough to keep you there. Then right back to it. You’re already a single parent with a roommate from the sounds of it. Good luck.
Communication! Grow up! So online classes is ok when do you work?
Just explain to him how you feel and yes he should be helping you especially working too
This was a lot like my husband and I up until recently.
5 kids, 4 under 5. One of them being a NICU baby that’s been home for almost 3 weeks.
I’ve mentioned it to him several times.
He’s a first responder.
He easily works 12-14 hour shifts anywhere from 5-7 days.
It’s hard for me at home but I also have to remember just because he gets out of the house, he’s still going to work. His work is just different than mine.
BUT you do need to have a serious convo.
Make sure you think before you speak so you can get your points across.
Ask him to wake up maybe an hour earlier or instead of going straight to nap, give you an hour to yourself.
Remember that sometimes we need to be reminded of certain things and need that extra push.
If you let things slide, they will get worse and that resentment will not improve and things will become petty and rough.
Communication is key.
Remember you’re supposed to be each other’s support, maybe he needs a reminder of that as well.
One thing I found that helped when we were having our conversation, make sure to ask him how HE feels.
Maybe he really doesn’t have those intentions.
Don’t call him out. Don’t be spiteful. Don’t be petty. Be an adult. Sit down with him and have a conversation.
We tend to settle into habits without thinking much about it. He isn’t a mind reader and snarky little comments aren’t the way to go.
With that said, if you’ve already had a serious conversation with him and he just blows you off, then it’s time for you to put your foot down. Don’t give him a choice in participating in home life. Make plans with friends, walk up, hand him his children, and walk out the door. Set chores for yourselves. Don’t ask him, tell him.
Have a talk about it. Let him know you need your time as well. My fiance is a gamer and we work opposite shifts. Things got hard and now he games certain days at certain times set by both of us so we can actually spend a little time together or have time to do something else
It’s a two-way street he needs to do his part
Sit down and talk about it. Tell him exactly how you feel. Explain what you need. Go from there. If he refuses to help then you need to look at your other options. Counseling can help. Resentment is hard to recover from.
A good indication of somebody’s behaviours to come are how their behaviours have been…
Put your foot down… Talk to him and tell em how you feel
Nope your not being petty at all. So not fair to you. You basically have 3 jobs and he has one and then gets to have no responsibility after work. Like a child.
Absolute crap! And you deserve better!!! If he dosent pitch in ….having your 3rd will break you
When you get home with him I would bring the kids in the house, go back to the car and leave. Go out for an hour or two even if you sit at a park, it’s alone.
Your feelings def matter moms can get burned out on kids, kids get burned out with same person too. I never got help from my sons dad. I barely made it through. Im very bitter now. Try to avoid that for urself its very possible this can affect your mental health for rest of your life. Maybe there are ways to get your way in silence?? You know him. Be passive/aggressive if you need to have some peace. Just wake him up on your way out to watch movie or whatever. Worry about yourself instead of his sleep sometimes
You are both parents, that means the children are both your responsibility. Why would you do all the work with a fully capable person in the way, and also take care of them. I’d leave because if I’m doing it alone, you best believe I’ll be alone. Him working is great, but only one small piece of the puzzle. Earning money shouldn’t be more important than investing time in his children and wife
Maybe he doesn’t know what you want him to do.Men always think with the wrong head.give him suggestions.You may be surprised as to how quickly he will help you
Maybe he will do online classes with you and both can stay home
Working parents, that have never stayed home… don’t, and probably never will, realize that even the drive home is a break!!
Not petty at all. I hate video games. I get needing down time. But gaming can be just as addictive for adults as they are for kids. They’re the reason I’m getting divorced. And even now that we’ve split, all he does is work, game, and sleep.
That said, communicate with him, and set some boundaries. He needs to be present in your marriage and with your family.
You have 3 kids and one on the way
A relationship isn’t about 50:50 it’s about both putting in 100%. Being at home is harder than work. I do both. I work early mornings so I’m home with my child from school pick up. He shouldn’t be taking a nap when he finishes work he should be helping with the kids and you should take turns with dinner even if it’s just him ordering in food. People will only treat you how you allow yourself to be treated.
You’re 35 weeks pregnant, I wouldn’t call it slacking on dinner. Talk to him. You need help now, and you’ll need it more once the baby is born.
If he doesn’t want to do things for you don’t do things for him
Why are you not having him take responsibility?
Your feelings matter but when u express yourself to him try starting each sentence with “I feel” versus saying you do this and that. It comes off less accusatory and may make him less defensive. U r right by the way and I agree that he needs to do his share.
Has it always been like this or is it a recent thing? If it’s always been that way he may have been raised with a provider mindset. If it’s recent he may be having some struggles he’s keeping to himself. When my husband started a similar routine we had a calm sit down and it turned out that he was burnt out and depressed but didn’t recognize it until things got bad. He worked, slept and gamed because it was an escape. With individual and couple counseling we were able to get things sorted out. Marriage is hard, parenting is even more so because if you don’t take care of your personal needs you lose yourself. Men aren’t as good at recognizing or coping with this alone. Try to put the resentments aside until you have a better understanding of what’s going on. Those tiny resentments can grow and destroy a marriage. Also check out the book ‘Men are Waffles and Women are Spaghetti’. Put emotion aside to talk about it calmly, figure out the problem and make a game plan. You can’t communicate properly if you let emotion take over as your executive functions go off line. Sometimes something as simple as having a deligated night to yourselves apart and having a regular date night away from kids is all that’s needed. You’re a couple and a family, but also individuals that must maintain your autonomy. Best of wishes to you and your family.
My husband used to come home from work and think his time was done. Well I would ask him to do certain things and if he didn’t do it I stopped doing things like cooking his dinner, cleaning house, which he couldn’t stand and I told him if I didn’t get help he can do the stuff himself. I would take care of the kids but nothing else and sometimes when he got home I left for a couple of hours.
When you’re pregnant, it’s hard to know whether those are your feelings or hormones talking. Wait until after your post partum months to see if you feel the same
Express how you feel and tell him you need help! Don’t assume he knows (even though I feel he should) some people are just clueless to things that seem obvious.
As a husband I would have to say your husband is dropping the ball. Video games do not trump family. Sounds like he needs to grow up.
What you allow is what will continue.
He’s not carrying his fair share of the load. Stop treating him like he’s your teenage son and start expecting him to act like an adult. Sleeping all afternoon and staying up till 1am to play games is teenager like behavior…. A lazy, spoiled teenager
My husband loses sight sometimes of just how much I do around the house and I forget just how hard he works to provide. There’s yelling there’s a little arguing but remember ots the two of you against the world not the two of you against eachother. Try to communicate
I’m going to be the odd one out and say 1 if y’all are splitting the car bill, then make him get his own vehicle. With 3 kids you definitely need 2 vehicles. 2 if you’re 35 weeks pregnant it can be really unhealthy to be doing all this alone this far along. You need a break. But as far as everything else goes I agree with everyone above. Have an adult conversation about it. If it don’t work then explore other options. Totally not ok
Communication is the key
You have to communicate with him!
Talk to him. Stay civil, chill, and aim for growth. Explain all that you said here. I’d like to think if he valued you he’d put goals in motion.
He may even have things from his perspective you don’t realize he’d like to talk about, there may be a need for routine changes from all. Good luck
It’s not petty to feel like you need him to pull his weight more and to realize you need a break. But I’m assuming this has been the routine for a while and he probably didn’t know that you were feeling this way. I get that it probably sorta snuck up on you (that you were feeling this way) because it goes from being the norm to BEING the norm and you just aren’t seeing anything changing. This is coming from experience- please don’t assume he knows how you are feeling. You need to have a conversation NOT a confrontation with him. “Calling him out” will put him on the defensive and that won’t solve a thing. I know others have said that he knows and I am pretty sure you’re feeling like he SHOULD know. I know that I definitely wanted him to see it on his own but if he’s not there and hasn’t walked in your shoes, there’s not really a reason he WOULD know.
When it was me, my resentment built up and caused a lot of tension and I found myself picking petty fights. When someone I love pointed all of this out to me I approached it differently. I sat down with him calmly (not angrily) and simply explained how I felt and told him what I needed. As it turned out, he had stressors that I wasn’t aware of too. It wasn’t an overnight “fix” but we learned how to communicate with each other and 25 years later, we’re still strong.
Should he be able to see it without me telling him? Maybe. But I didn’t see the stuff he had going on either. So do you want to be righteous or do you want to be happy?
You need communicate without being rude or mean. Nothing will get done that way. He needs to step up with the children and y’all need a second car. Three kids and two adults, definitely a second car.
Don’t “call him out”. Sit down with the man and have an adult conversation. Y’all are husband and wife, I don’t understand why some couples don’t communicate very important needs with each other
Why are we splitting bills in a two income household? I don’t get that. Married couples are supposed to be partners in everything. This alone spells…my responsibilities vs his responsibilities.
With that aside… communicate with him without anger and frustration. Talk to him about what you want/need from him…and he open to listening to his wants and needs. Resentment in a marriage is hard to overcome, if you’re not willing to communicate contructively and work thru the issues
Start napping when he gets home, first in best dressed… And you need the rest this lately in your pregnancy.
Ur not being petty ur tired and he shouldn’t be sleeping like that everyday expecting u to do everything then play video games all night like a child lol that’s prob why he’s so tired. I wouldn’t do shit for him either especially 35 weeks pregnant. He should be cooking for you. What’s gonna happen when u add a newborn to mix. Oh hell no U guys need to talk it out
Communication . Tell him you need help and it’s his responsibility too . It’s only gonna get worse with one more on the way
Unfortunately what you allow will continue its prob been this way awhile you can communicate if he’s willing to hear you things could change most likely it stays this way or you boil over and the next 5 years are spent reminding him you need help while nothing changes it just causes arguments the next step he starts looking like another task you say your no longer cooking for him if he’s not said anything he’s accepted it
Couples therapy. You need a professional mediator. I’m also curious how you split the bills. Are you also working outside the home? Or are you taking out student loans to pay your half? There are multiple issues here; mutual exasperation is merely the symptom. You need to sort through issues of money, abandonment (having no time for each other), his relationship with the kids, and likely more.
You’re not being petty; you’re exhausted. You’re taking on a lot. You have two very young children who need constant attention. But if both of you don’t put your relationship first with the kids in a close second, you’re not going to have a satisfying relationship. I don’t know what that looks like, but a couple’s therapist can help.
Also how do you go half ok everything without a job to actually pay said half on everything ? Where is your income coming from if your a stay at home mom and do online classes with no job ?
He should also take care of his kids when he gets home spend time with his kids instead of naps to play games! You two should cook dinner together ask him to help you!
Sit down and have a conversation.
If you go halves on all bills and he isn’t pulling his weight, no longer do laundry, cooking or cleaning for him. Period.
I’m so thankful to only have two kids. A 4 year old and a 42 year old
There’s no reason to make him feel like he’s not pulling his weight because he is. Just sit down and let him know your stressed out and would like a nap or something too. Neither of you know how stressful your days truly are. He probably doesn’t quite understand that school and being 35w can be draining. Honestly, when I was pregnant with kids, I’d take them to the bedroom with me and take a nap whenever I could. My ex actually didn’t like me napping and would sometimes tell me I couldn’t sleep (even while pregnant) and force me to stay awake. And I was the one with the full time job and he made his mother watch the kids while I worked. He rarely had a job. But this sounds more like you need to communicate and just start putting a child in his lap while he’s home as he’s just as much as a parent as you are and go do whatever it is you want to do. I assume a nap because seriously that’s what I needed at 35w.
Talk to him about what you need using “I” statements
Call him out! You need help & communication is key
So no one’s curious as to how she goes half on everything even with them being his kids and yet she’s jealous he has a job and gets to leave while she’s a full time stay at home mom doing online schooling a few hours a week with basically she makes no income … so basically he pays the bills he’s the only one with a job ? None of that stuck out to any one but me
I’ve been the stay at home mom and the only source income. I still have to do Mom duties. My husband is disabled now due to a car wreak. I hate it. I can’t stand it. I can’t get the kids to help. Cant get him to help. And Im just overwhelmed all the time. I ask for help and get nothing. So Im a raging bi!#& all the time. Im going to end up a single parent if this keeps up. It is what it is at this point. Just too dam tired to care anymore. Don’t have any advice for ya. But prayers are what I have.
That’s not ok at all. Working outside of the house is a break. I can understand maybe a 30 minute nap to recharge… but otherwise he should split duties with you with the kids.
I would directly ask him, are you fine with never seeing your children at all? You’re napping until they go to bed!
I would suggest that it would be a better use of time for him to make the effort to at least spend 2 hours with them each day, and he can save the napping for when they go to bed. If he still has the energy to play video games after that, then fine. It’s hard because you know they’re going to be hostile and crappy… because in their eyes, things are great as is. But you deserve better!
First off, there should be no halters when married, you are a team!
The biggest thing all of you commenting are missing is that these are his kids & his home as well. It’s not 1940 anymore. Women aren’t just nurse maids & servants anymore. He lives there & makes messes. He helped make those 3 babies. Sit him & down and tell his ass to start pulling his weight in the home. 40 hour weeks at work are nothing in comparison to 24/7 parenting at home while also attending school full time. This lady is working 168 hours a week. Tell him to start helping or get to stepping.
I got wild when I was pregnant with emotions. You work hard, and so does he by the sounds of it. You BOTH need a break time to time. Rather than resent him and act out, talk to him. Tell him you are feeling this way and come up with a plan that helps you both. Example: after a long week give him Friday night to relax. You could have Sunday and Monday to relax. The days at the beginning of the week. As you progress in your pregnancy the tiredness and resentment will only grow. Communication is key. Best of luck Momma!
It’s a balance. Just ask for what you want. He’s taking care of his mental health, you need to take care of yours. Communication is key.
How is he going to cope with two young children while you’re in the hospital having a baby? It doesn’t sound as if he’s interested in or doing anything with the children. And how are the children going to cope without you? It doesn’t seem like they even know who he is. If you’re carrying the load alone, you might as well be alone. I don’t blame you for feeling overwhelmed. That wouldn’t fly with me. He would have set straight from the birth of the first child.
Just out of curiosity, how are you paying half the bills? You mention school but you don’t mention a job. Maybe after the new baby is born, you should try to get a part time job in the evening and leave him with the kids so he can see how you feel.
Need to talk it out and both need a break! Can Grandma take the kids for a week-end away??
Be an adult and talk to him. The only way things will be resolved is with thorough clear communication in any-all relationships. He can’t fix what he doesn’t know or feel is broken. Give the man a chance to do better.
Ask him about what he sees as each of your roles in the family, as a parent, and how it worked in his family growing up. Ask about his short and long term goals in life, and his hopes for the children. Ask him what he thinks is a fair amount of down time, “me time” and couple time for each of you, and how he would make that happen. Ask him what he would do if he felt exploited and overworked and given other people’s tasks to do at his job. Let him be the hero and find solutions. Make it more about questions than statements or accusations. You might want to give him a heads-up and just tackle one thing at a time over a week or more. Do NOT do anything but listen and take notes for now.
The hard part is you must be non-judgmental and neutral and really listen to his answers without being snarky, accusatory, or reactionary and you must not interrupt him when he’s speaking. THIS IS REALLY HARD! Whatever you need to do to be this Zen listener, do it. Bite your tongue, practice keeping your face neutral, glue your lips shut so you can only say “mmm-hmm,” do yoga, Tai chi or other meditation beforehand. Because if you sound the least bit accusatory or like you have an agenda he will shut down so fast, see you as devious, and put up his defenses.
Ask him to switch roles with you for one day he’s off so he can see what your challenges are. (Better if he has to do it while wearing weighted balloons around his abdomen). He should have to do a full 24 hours solo. Write down everything you do in detail so he knows what you accomplish in that amount of time. Go out of the house and don’t tell him where you’ll be, and spend the night with friend or family member (then tell him where you will be overnight).
Block his number but call every hour or two to answer questions, see how it’s going and offer advice. Hopefully it will include at least one trip to a store while having to wrangle the kids in and out of car seats and keeping them corralled while going through parking lots and stores. Bonus points if one of the kids throws up or has a blow-out diaper, or has a meltdown/tantrum. Resist the urge to swoop back in and “fix” everything. Let him struggle and remind him this is your life 24/7/365.
After he recovers, in about a week, write down all chores that need doing, good/easier (bedtime reading) and bad/harder (scrubbing toilets). Let him pick from 1/8th to 1/4th of the list for which he’ll be responsible. Even if he picks all easy ones, it’s a start. Renegotiate in a few months. Or require equal numbers of nice vs icky tasks you divide into two or more columns.
Create a chore chart with stickers for when things are accomplished. Have everyone’s chores listed including for the kids too, like picking up toys, getting dressed, using a spoon, and also they get stickers for NOT doing things (throwing food, fussing about going to bed, brushing teeth or whatever).
Do NOT complain about how he does a chore for at least 2 weeks, and then only offer suggestions deemed “life hacks,” like you’re giving him secret info, and kindly show him the better way to do it. If it’s just different from how you’d do it but not altering the outcome, leave it alone. If he loads the dishwasher differently or sweeps after he vacuums instead of before, no problem. If he puts plastic on the bottom of the dishwasher where it melts or never empties the vacuum, gently show him a better way.
I also like to have family meetings every week to hammer out differences, problems and find solutions. You and hubs write down what needs discussing on a sheet on the fridge and don’t talk about it until the allotted time. In the meantime, everyone thinks of complete or partial solutions. Kids old enough to speak can add topics and have their turn presenting their concerns at the meeting (the youngest goes first in order to the oldest).
The person speaking has the floor and is not to be interrupted. Then others can ask for clarification. Then solutions or modifications are proposed and decided upon. If no solution or partial solution can be reached, put it on the next week’s agenda and everyone do research during the week. Google, talk to friends, consult professionals, ask your counselor if you see one. You’d be surprised at what great solutions kids can come up with!
It’s so hard to keep our feelings and emotions out of our communications so adding a couples counselor to the mix can benefit your discussions greatly.
Good luck! And congratulations on your new baby. Hope you have a “village” of friends and family to help you. And don’t overlook farming out tasks. Maybe a cleaning person, eating more prepared foods, laundry service, online orders & delivery). And schedule family fun, romantic dates , and time with friends once a month. Have suggestions ready at family meetings and decide which ones you can do this month & set dates and times then.
Nope. He may as well be single and without kids. He goes to work, comes home, does what he wants, and you’re left with the bag. Common feature of many men these days, and yet another reason why I didn’t even care to try and get in a relationship anymore.
My SO dose the same thing he works from 5am-2pm I’m a SAHM but I still have income so we split bills but I do all house work all laundry all the cooking cleaning shopping I’m pregnant and we both have kids from past relationships but I take care of all of them and he hardly dose a thing. I have to wake him up in the morning for his job because he sleeps through all his alarms so I’m up at 5am and some times I don’t go to sleep until 12am because I’m left to literally do everything. I finally had enough put my foot down and I didn’t waiver from what I said and he eventually started helping. But stand your ground!
You’re not being petty at all. Tell him you need help, it’s his kids too, his house too… he needs to do shit too. Don’t let him not do anything.
He needs to buck his ideas up!!!
He is not at home with his mum… they are his kids and his home… if he wants to treat u like a cook cleaner and everything else then he needs to pay more to have that privilege… dont let him slack… ur feelings are validated … I would feel exactly the same!!!
He wouldn’t need to nap if he wasn’t on the game consol until early hrs… tell him straight he either helps out like he is supposed too… or u will get a cleaner and a cook and he can pay so u get some down time too
I’m confused as to why people are questioning her income. That is irrelevant. She is doing online classes while still managing 2 kids at home, along with being pregnant!! When he gets home he should be splitting responsibilities (kids, housework, cooking etc) as well! I’d definitely have a heart to heart conversation with him!
Nope id just be single of thats what I had to deal with my man works 12 hour days 5 days a week he comes home at 7 and is up by 1 to help me with the kids and he does pay all our bills as I stay home just working don’t mean he can’t help with the kids he helped make
Relationships- 4 cornerstones of foundation- trust, accountability, responsibility and loyalty. This is built stronger not because of time but because of good communication. It takes two sweetie
How about you have a nap when he gets home or you go out for a few hours for ‘me’ time for yourself? Get a manicure? Go shopping? Meet a friend for coffee? Leave a simple dinner for him and the kids and go out a few times a week b
Have an honest conversation with him. Start off each sentence with ‘I feel’. It will help guide the conversation.
Sit down and talk. Let him know how you feel and that your time is as important as his. Alternate days after work. He can nap one and the other he takes care of the kids so you can have time. The 7th day can be a day you both decide to do things with the family. It’s about compromise
Not really enough info for me to give advice, it seems like your both just at one of the hard times where it does get overwhelming for parents. I’d recommend leaving him alone for a bit with the children for your mental health on your day off as to take a day to be your own person just like he has a nap time day to day which also doesn’t seem wrong to me either
I’m a mom ok mom of 3 and hubby works full time as a hvac tech …so he’s gone long hours …he still gets home and helps me with kids !
This sounds like a complete roommate situation.
Communicate. You can’t a have a relationship and not communicate ESPECIALLY with children involved. Also, you mentioned paying half of everything but if you don’t have a job I don’t see how? Ask him to watch the kids when he gets home so you can go out and just breathe for a little while. He can’t fix something he doesn’t know is broken. Prior to contrary belief men can NOT read minds and just know what’s wrong. You have to speak up
No, you’re not being petty. But, you can’t change the house rules all of a sudden and expect anyone else to know. First of all, does he even know you want his participation…? If this is the way y’all relationship has been so far, why or how would he know?
Talk to him. If he isn’t willing, then go from there. Personally, I’d leave. It’s ridiculous to have single parent problems in a 2 parent household.
IMO, y’all seem to be a team. Part of being a SAHM is just that. You don’t get a break. I’m sure I’ll get burned at the stake for my comment but…
Honey men will be boys! Lol stay strong momma I’m sending love!
Rather then being petty and calling him out why not talk to him and stress your issues? Nothing is ever resolved by being petty and pointing things out especially if you haven’t even communicated your issue
Well don’t call him out. Sit down and have a conversation with your person about how you’re feeling. Of course he’s going to get hostile when it’s not communicated maturely.
Here’s the deal:
“Calling him out” is rarely the solution to any kind of issue…It’s not communicative…It’s combative.
I get hostile too when someone “calls me out” rather than communicates with me
Relationships are a two way street. Your feelings matter…so do his. Your opinions matter…so do his.
You can’t only care about his thoughts and feelings when yours are catered to, just like he shouldn’t only care about yours once his are catered to.
As a mom…I’ve worked while my (ex) stayed home. I was a single mom. Me and my (now) husband worked. I’ve stayed home since 2016. And we’ve had a brief period when we were both home.
I can tell you that absolutely none of these…lots…are without their own hard/challenges.
Understanding this is the first step to solving any issue like this.
My personal advice:
Both of you sit down and make a list of what your days consist of (this should include his duties at work. Especially if they’re physically or mentally draining).
Then compare.
More than likely your lists will be more even than you think. If they’re not…
Talk to him about how you’re feeling but use “I feel” statements. Don’t blame him because you’re unhappy with xyz…but rather ask him to help you find more ways to improve your mood…and one way would be to discuss together what can be done to take some of the load off (assuming that the list has you doing more).