Not everyone picks up on the needs of others. Sometimes when those needs are communicated in anger and frustration it creates more issues. You should sit down and have a conversation with him, without telling him all the things he does and doesn’t do, but instead saying I have a lot on my plate, I have school, homework, etc… Then say can you help me out when you get home from work, can you do dishes, make dinner etc…My husband and I split dinner days. We both work full time and I go to school. My kids are older and do household chores so that helps a lot.
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Sounds like you’re roommates and not partners, I wouldn’t cook for him either. Tell him to grow up or you’re leaving
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Most issues on this page can be solved by just communicating. Let him know how you’re feeling. 
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I think you’re feeling petty because you’re trying to be petty. Not fixing him supper is not going to change his behavior. You need to talk to him about it. Have a ‘coming to jesus’ meeting. Let him know that you’re unhappy and things need to change if he loves you he’ll want to do what he can to make you happy.
Just sit down and express your feelings to him. Don’t get upset or tell him what he isn’t doing right… tell him what you need from him. Not what you expect etc…
If he didn’t figure it out with the first two, he won’t with the third. I agree with communicating with him, if that doesn’t work, he seems to prefer an empty home, so he can use food apps for dinner.
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I’m a single mom and my kid goes to the college daycare program! You should see if that is an option!
Yall saying he doesn’t know are really out of touch. They have a 3 and a 1 year old AND she’s pregnant. He knows she needs help. He knows he shouldn’t be sleeping during the only hours that he is home and the kids are awake. He knows. He doesn’t care. Since he is inconsiderate like that tell him exactly that. It isn’t calling him out it’s addressing bad behavior.
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I’d say talk to him about how you feel. Then give it a few weeks to see how things go. If no changes then you have to reevaluate the situation and make your decision how you choose to proceed !
Personally I wouldn’t drive him to work every day. Your going to school online. You don’t say what you do for income but you pay half the bills. If he’s tired when he gets home I completely get that too. Parenthood can be overwhelming. Your about to have 3 kids to take care off. If he works outside the home and you don’t, your more of a SHAM and taking care of kids is kinda what you signed up for. Sorry. I know it’s hard. Sit down with him and tell him you need more help.
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Have him take the bus to work I don’t think is fair you have to drive him to work and pick him up
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He shouldn’t be coming home and napping he should be coming home and helping and spending time with his kids period
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Tell him the exact thing you just said here. If he dont know he won’t help
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Hormons…talk to him…
speak to him about how you feel as well
Start stating how U feel…he’s getting upset cause now it’s a problem when before it wasnt
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Communication is key. You need to be talking to him not us. It’s not fair to him to be mad when you haven’t expressed these feelings to him. Ask him if a couple nights a week he can spend time with you or doing “whatever” instead of gaming and the other nights can be for gaming. Or if he can put the kids to bed “x” nights so you can have you time before gaming etc
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Sounds like a codependent roommate, not a partner. He needs to pull more weight in the relationship, communicate that with him.
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I would talk about it. When I am stressed or need a break I tell my husband. When he is home I go to town by myself. I do my nails monthly, and try to get some of my sanity and space back.
Being mad and hostile I don’t think will help even tho it is frustrating. Just let him know when you drop him off you have errands to run and leave him with the kids. Go have a coffee, sit in an empty parking lot, go for a drive, do whatever you need to do to regain that center.
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Trust me we all agree he shouldn’t. But the question is how do we change these men’s behavior? Holding them more accountable? Raising our sons to be better? Idk but 1/2 of us are here with you girl.
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Talk to him about it. Tell him this is not something he can keep doing and you need help. They are his children too so he had no right to just sleep and ignore them.
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Me and my wife are going through this now and we are planning a break and focus on ourselves and the kids…it’s hard because I want my marriage to work but I also don’t want my kids growing up in a toxic situation! Do what’s best for the kids because you can do bad by yourself!!!
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Tell him don’t Ask ------ look on Saturday morning get dressed have everything ready for the day out , either wake him or tell him you leaving all day to pamper Yourself and when you get back you expect dinner to be ready , let him know what time you will be turning ----- never ask him you Tell him – those are your kids and the house too— then walk out with a smile
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He needs to go bed earlier so he has more energy to help you when he gets home. Are you able to have someone watch the kids 2 days a week so you can do schooling like at a library or somewhere quiet but out of the house? Split the chores. Mine does the dishes and I cook. I mean I do everything else too but every little bit helps. It’s hard with kids because moms always take on everything because we know what needs to be done. Not all guys are programmed have a mental list 
Try to maintain sanity with communication.
Tell him. He probably thinks everything is okay.
Wen he comes home…Leave …& Not with tha kids!!!
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No he needs to help out more
So he’s basically a roommate supplying child support and a shared vehicle…
Men aren’t blind, nor are they stupid. Anyone who has ever been around kids and even most who don’t know kids require alot of physical and mental work every single day and if he’s not helping then it’s because he’s choosing not to.
You can either continue as you are and swallow the resentment until you hate him, you can try talking to him and telling him flatly that you need help with y’all’s kids and the house when he comes home or you can throw in the towel and call it quits.
No matter what anyone says its your choice what next step you take.
Best of luck Hun
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If he cannot help bc he also needs rest/relaxation time then time to hire help. 2 nights a week have an assistant, high schooler or college-aged person to help with kids or supper or chores. 3 hours, 2 nights, shoot 1 night even, a week about $10 to $12.00 an hour. I know budgets are tight. But you may save your health and family so it is worth every penny. Even if every other week. Or are there other support people you could call on for free? A Grandparent? Aunt? Friend? At 34 weeks pregnant you need rest/ relaxation time too. Young children need so much I feel tired just reading this for you. Please make time to get out of the house without your children too. You need to protect your mental and emotional well-being. Set a schedule with the hubby. You get Mon Wed Fri to come home and nap and do your thing. But tues and thursday you come home and push through to be present with your children and help. Then add the paid help 1 or 2 times a week or even every other week. Adulting is exhausting and aging is real. Covid and so many other stressors. Connecting with children can be harder for some adults. Be the husband whisperer! Most importantly just know this too shall pass. Easier days wait for you down the road. Take care.
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it’s not always 50/50 but if you"re having feelings about Fair, you must talk it out. The three most important things about marriage:. talk,talk, talk.
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Why is he being hostile? And what do you mean by hostile? Either way, he needs to grow up and help with his kids. At this point, you have a roommate
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Communication & get your butt to therapy.
I’m just hear to say that relationships are never perfect there are super rough patches especially when children are involved communication is the main key your feelings are valid and so our his there is a way you guys can give each other a chance to have alone time together or to just give each other the opportunity to have self care . But anyways I hope things work out . Speaking from experience I used to be jealous of my husband for going to work and having time to himself as a stay at home mom and it took me awhile to realize that wasn’t his same ideal as alone time and not everyone enjoys their work place .
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Just because he works doesn’t mean his responsibilities as a father are exempt. The fact that you have two kids together he should be at least helping take care of one of them so you can take care of the other and then you switch off until they’re both in bed. I definitely don’t think you’re wrong and any of the way you feel because I would feel the same way I only have one kid and I am mostly the one who put her to bed but sometimes I have things to do like going to the grocery store and stuff so he hast to do the nighttime stuff
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Well first off you shouldn’t even have to ask. He should just be doing. Parenting is a team job and when one is slacking it causes resentment which is reasonable. I would sit down and have a conversation with him, just be real. I always say I would rather be a single mom than a single mom with an able body in the house doing nothing.
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ummm its not just a one parent household
he also shares thst load
keep bitching!!!
Nothing wrong with him cooking
Communication goes a long way! No need for calling out, being ugly about it or anything simply have a conversation! If you don’t express how you feel how will he know? When something is bothering me I talk to my husband and I’m clear about how I feel without yelling and it works! I think sometimes people for get that a simple talk with no hard feeling works!
I agree he should spend with the kids when he gets home from work. This will strengthen the father-child bond. And he should help with the household chores.
And you both should get some down time. The thing is to figure it out.
Talk about it. Talk about how to divide up some of the chores.
Assign some down time for each of you.
Also going to work is not “getting out of the house”, really. There is a time schedule he must adhere to. A boss to answer to. Working is stressful. Perhaps he envies you for being able to stay home. He doesn’t know how difficult it is to stay home with the kids and you do not know how stress his job is.
Communication in a calm reasonable way. Do not speak in anger. But talk to each other or resentment will build until you have no relationship left.
You have children and another on the way. You must want a happy healthy loving relationship for yourselves and for your children. Work on the relationship together. Find some ways to get on the same page.
I wish you all the best.
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You just need to ask or help in a nicer way. Tell him u are pregnant and tired and need extra help
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AN YOUR HAVING , ANOTHER BABY , You both need to sit down an communacate both of your needs , Otherwise its not going to work as you already resent what he is doing , IMAGEN THE energy your children are feeling an the Energy in your home GOOD luck an Take Care
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I feel this on another level and I’m feeling the hatred boil.
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He naps and he plays games. Sounds like he gets plenty of breaks
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Start working hard to please him and call him honey and sweetheart. The harder you work to please him will make him want to please you. If not then confront him about it
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Sounds like yall need to sit down, talk, and come up with a new schedule that works for BOTH of you. Compermise is key. Maybe also have him get blood work done to check thyroid. Or a depression check. Those could also be why he is so tired.
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Break his game…
Just kidding, he definitely should help. When he gets home, you say thank, in exhausted, I’m going to go take a nap.
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You need to make time for yourself. And he needs to Make less time for himself.
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Nope. Just bc you work doesn’t mean you don’t have other responsibilities when you get home. If he’s having naps and leaving you with the kids ontop of you taking care of them all day, that needs to be discussed.
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I mean you feel hostile… it’s gonna be some loud growing pains. Let him have it.
He’s jus taking advantage of u knowingly or unknowingly. U gotta hand him his chores if he aint the talking kind which most men aren’t. Be polite and firm. Its gota be 50/50 in everything if ur also splitting the bills. Besides the biggest bs here is that ur also pregnant!!! What d fuck are u doing by not resting and delegating?! Rest now on and let him work the kids etc.
Put a lock on the plug to the game.
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Nope you’re not being petty. He’s refusing to parent or be a partner so instead he can nap and play games. Tell him to start acting like an adult and a man, or get out.
So you’re basically a SAHM & yet he still expects you to help him out with the bills?
Mmmm in that case tell him you’ll work a 9-5 job & he can stay home taking care of your daughters & tell him he still needs to help pay half of the bills.
Another thing why are you taking him to work? He can take himself & you can use that time to sleep in or drink some coffee & relax before you start your day.
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Also call his mother. Lol
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Him working doesnt mean squat. If he’s using work as a excuse not to help with things then you have every right to be upset. Guys expect us to be okay with them doing the bare minimum for some reason.
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Sounds like the communication is gone. You and your husband need to sit down and start talking. Maybe he doesn’t know how you feel. You may think he does but maybe not. If you don’t start talking to each other the marriage is over.
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When he comes home. Have dinner ready. Tell him your taking a bubble bath and nap, the child watching is on him.
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If you aren’t working, where is the money coming from to pay your half of the bills?
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I think you are very unhappy. You should try counseling with your spouse.
Two people enter a marriage and a partnership. If you both work you at home and him out of the house then in the evening its for both of you to help each other with the children. Marriage and a partnership with kids is never going to be 50/50 ever . What is it with people and gaming and children . We have heard this for the last 25 years . Sit down with your husband and have it out like adults !!! These are his children also . If he gets resentful then he is being a boy and not a man . A man steps up and helps with the kids . With that many children who has time for a NAP right after work ?? Yes everyone would love to have that unwind time and he should allow you that unwind time since he is out of the home all day . If you do not sit down and COMMUNICATE and come to real understanding of this is our life now and the sad thing is it should not have to be communicated over and over and over . You should be able to rely on him while you cook dinner or time to bathe and get the kids down and have some communication time before bed . Everyone gets overwhelmed with real life but people who sign up for it and do not follow through are the ones who just liked the ideal but when it was finally put in their face and reality shows up that is when a person shows if they can handle it . Both of you are resentful and if you do not have a real sit down he will continue the same behavior and expect you to just deal with it and give up asking . That is not a marriage or a partnership. Right now its a one sided where you are the adult and he is acting like a boy who forgot he was a man with a lot of children and responsibilities 24-7.
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Sounds like you’re a parent all by yourself with having to drive a child to work no thank you he cook is on dinner!!!
Since everything is halfsies he can watch the kids half the time too.
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I tell my partner all the time, if he wanted a cook and clean 1950s housewife then he picked the wrong girl 
guys tend to get pampered by their mums so they expect it from their partners too it’s a wake up call for those who care enough about their partners to wake up and do their share good luck
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Not petty at all! Honestly if he doesn’t help, I’d leave. I wish I would have sooner with my ex.
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Prayer… read the Bible together. God will bless your marriage and lighten the load… Pray about the whole situation. If you are both still in love that is the best thing to save your marriage and your sanity! 
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I dont see how you are paying half of everything. If paying half,ghen he can have a short break to shower and eat when gets home,but then needs to be taking over kid duties. Tell him if he wants everything halved,then he gets half the work as well.
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How are y’all going half on bills if you don’t work? Why are you driving him back and forth to work? He’s working outside the home. You are working inside the home. If you want to go to work outside then put your kids in daycare and get a job. Stop complaining. Talk to your spouse.
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Ya he’s using you not saying anything and realizing his easy paradise life style is coming to an end 
Sit down and have a talk once kids are in bed and express how you are feeling. So you don’t explode and he doesn’t get defensive.
You are 100% in the right
I told my partner ya going to work is hard but not have a moment to your self all day is harder for some. I’ve done both. Staying at home with kids is so lovely but so isolating, lonely, mentally and physically draining.
I had to start work this year because I was not happy. I was not the best mom I could be or partner or me.
Your doing a lot mama and you need help and a break!!
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I would let him drive himself to work and tell him you need more help when he gets home.
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Your situation isn’t too bad, your pregnant again.
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your fed up period , your pregnant and you feel you are being taken advantage of .Instead of stewing alone get a sitter and go for a drive , have a picnic and hash it out. Tell him it is time to grow the hell up
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There’s a problem here. My BF and I both work full time and I homeschool my son. Some days he’s at work with me. My BF works overnight but on his 2 days off he watches my son, not his by the way. We split bills but when I was out of work for 4 months he paid ALL the bills and I took care of the house. He does wash dishes and helps with laundry on his days off. You need to sit down and have a conversation with him. As adults.
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There are many seasons in marriage. My early years with small children wasn’t as equally split with chore work. It does change. I have teenagers now and they pitch in more. My husband is working from home and he does most of the work now around the house as I work outside the home. Talk to him about how you feel. Let him know you need to take a walk or have you time before dinner,etc. Take an hour everyday.
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I wouldn’t “call” him out on things I would sit him down like a wife and explain to your husband y u have the feelings u do. And discuss this with him. Attacking and not communicating will only worsen the situation.
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It sounds like he’s your teenage kid, but even they usually drive and have their own car
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You two need to sit down and talk about what’s going on. Communication or lack there of is killing or has killed your relationship. If you don’t talk, it’s over.
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It sounds like you both are burnt out, and fighting about it isn’t gonna solve a damn thing. It’s y’all against the problem, not y’all against each other. Find the real problem and fix it.
Sounds like you have 3 kids to take care of and one on the way. Not fair to you at all. Your feelings are validated. You are not being petty.
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You’ve got plenty of parenting to do without having to parent him as well, if you want more from him tell him once then solve the problem
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I felt that way, found someone else & then he swore to me he would change. I went back. He did change temporarily. I did this 3x before he changed for good. He’s been consistent for 1.5 yrs now. But it took 20 years to get here.
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It sounds like he isn’t doing his part of the parenting when he’s off work. It’s time to have an adult chat. What’s going to happen when you’ve delivered and he really needs to step it up? Can you rely on him to do the things that you’re doing now?
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No your not being petty. He’s being an ass hole. I don’t understand why you take him to and from work? I don’t understand because since you don’t have to go anywhere, you don’t need the vehicle. I find that waist full of money as well as it being unnecessary wear n tear on the vehicle. I think he should be driving himself to work… As for him napping, he’d never get away with that in my house. I’d make sure of it. I’d take his game system and hide it. If he wants to act like a kid, I’d treat him like 1… if you have family and friends around that could help you when you go have the baby, then I’d get rid of the guy…
Try being a single parent. All the weight is on your shoulders. You’re lucky!
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If only people would just talk to their significant others. What a world it would be.
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I’m sure if the tables were turned and you worked out if the house and he worked from home, you’d want to come home and spend a few hours to yourself in your house and you’d wish you could be home all day. It’s really a test of patience and communication and partnership, relationships are always catch 22 and that’s just life being a mom. It’s like that honestly for very many, I for one at different. Same situation though I’m a stay at home mom with four kids and he works 9-6 or 8-5, I always only wanted to be a stay at home mom so it’s what I desire. My kids for the most part have a lot of health problems as well as myself so I’m not doing my schooling at the moment, but I’m still happy to be where I am. And feel for my husband needing to come to his safe place and feel like he’s working for it for himself also, not just wife and kids that sit in the home all day. I also pay the rent, he pays the bills (they equal same amount as rent) and I pay vehicle payment but he pays plates and gas and drives our three kids to school daily and essentially has never gone out once in the almost three years we have been together. Work and home only for him. I am blessed, I understand your frustration, but a councillor definitely provide insight so if a solution is logically input for him to hear from a expert point of view so it doesn’t look like you’re attacking him with facts and feelings but yet could provide a light or a better routine and schedule between ya guys for you to be able to have time out of the house without anxiety of having to rush back to kids
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I’ve been seeing a lot of posts like yours lately regarding “no help from baby daddies”. The difference for you is your guy works. That is huge and good for you. In my opinion, you can make supper. I wish you could do daycare a couple days a week or have a friend take the kids one day a week. It helps you refresh because, yes, you are busy also! But there are plenty of crock pot meals that are quick and easy so you’re not slaving in the kitchen. Tacos, spaghetti, pizza are all great and quick also. I wish you well.
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And you got pregnant for a 3rd time by him???
Why?…
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Did I read SAHM? So that’s your job, right? So he supports everyone financially? I see that you go “halfers” on bills but if you don’t work how’s that work out? I’m so perplexed.
He leaves to go to work 5days a week and you’re acting like because he works elsewhere that he “at least gets to get away from the house” ugh yea. To work. That doesn’t seem too fun.
Here’s a tip. Talk to your spouse. You know. Like an adult. Maybe get a job. Leave the house. Pay child care.
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Keep on having babies! That will keep him happy 
!
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Well in my relationship the roles are switched. I work 8-4 almost everyday and he is at home dad with two kids. My husband is a gamer as well. I’m my opinion there is nothing wrong with the gaming piece. But I feel like taking a nap after work then gaming the rest of the day isn’t very helpful to you obviously. If he wants to sleep he can do it at night. Anyways for me I know after work I like to wind down before anything, chores, games with kids, whatever. I’ll still hang out with everyone but I still take me time after work. Maybe have a convo with him that after he settles down from work, takes an hour or whatever to wind down that you need help with a few things but not everything. Maybe plan something to do with the kids with everyone as a family.
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All you petty ladies saying “so have more babies with him”
How do you know said baby number 3 was planned? I’ve gotten pregnant twice on two different birth controls, sometimes it just happens.
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You need to sit down with your SO and have a serious talk, and discuss chores/situation and try and figure things out
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No you are Not being petty! He should be putting in More money and supporting his daughters! He’s not just a boyfriend now, he has a family! Especially if he’s making more money. People treat you the way you let them. Time for a serious talk about his helping out taking care of the children, because it’s an awful imbalance going on there. He needs to grow up and man up. You have to stop being a doormat because the relationship will fail if there’s no give and take on both sides and the resentment grows until you say I’m done!
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This is suppose to be a supportive group. All you guys do is hate. This poor woman. I’m praying you figure this out girl. Talk to your husband. Like actually sit down and talk with eachother.
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And I’m leaving this group because everyone is so hateful. But if you ever need a friend to talk to I’m here! 
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If you started your marriage off with you being the home maker and him doing nothing but work outside the home then he expects it. You need to sit him down and talk with him in a nice way. Explain that the kids are his too. You didn’t make them yourself and he needs to share the responsibility. Everything should be 50/50. We aren’t robots.
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A nap may be a way of ‘escape’ then followed by gaming.
He’s being the best guy he knows how to be BUT it is not working considering he’s got others in his life, right? Let alone one more on the way.
Go on a date -
After the meal sit and relax and have a pleasant talk and tell him of your expectations and have in mind ways he can help. Maybe even take notes - and both sign it. I’ve known it to work!
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Make a list of the things you do every day, then sit down with him and go over your list… Tell him you know he works 8 hrs per day and is tired and ready to chill out but you also would like to chill out with him because you love being with him, but you have a very full day, too, and would really love to have him help some after he rests awhile. Maybe when he sees what you do, he will help a little more.
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Every relationship should be 100/100 because if your both not giving your all then it doesnt work. Definitely talk with him first when your both calm and hopefully that helps. Fingers crossed:pray:
You should have a serious talk and explain the situation. Also you said he doesn’t get a break, but he does he comes home to nap …. So that’s a break. You are not being petty at all.
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