At least you haven’t moved in yet. I went through this with the love of my life for almost 3 years and I gave up everything trying to save him and unfortunately it ended exactly like I dreaded it would and he overdosed right next to me last year unexpectedly and passed away. I couldn’t save him and no matter what I did or how I begged and pleaded giving up my soul to save him it didn’t matter because he only cared about himself not even his kids and he blamed everything and everyone but himself and we lost him anyway. Sometimes you have to let go girl, if they don’t get it and don’t want it and nobody means enough to them to fight their demons you have to back away, as hard as it is. I know it sucks and hurts but you don’t want to find out once you have lost everything trying, even yourself. Sending good vibes and prayers to all of you 
do it for the children.
Why would anyone of sound mind want children to be trapped in a relationship with an alcoholic? I’m very curious what do you love in him? Because it’s not the honesty, or care for you, or respect, or putting you first? What’s left to love? Don’t waste time on someone who wouldn’t give you the time of the day. Fk knows what he can bring home, since apparently he drunks so much he doesn’t function. I’d check for stds 
It’s very simple… he’s going to do him and you and everyone else is a second thought. You can live with being second in his thoughts or you can move on.
If you have to ask then you already know the answer hopefully. It will NEVER change believe me. Been there done that could write a book. Move on
I can’t even read all that. He is obviously an alcoholic that needs help. And you need to drop him when his behaviors get addictive. He will never reach bottom if you’re always there. He needs to know he can’t depend on you to support his addiction and then he can change.
Why would you be trying to have a baby with somebody who blatantly disrespects you and shows he doesn’t care how you feel about this? I’m 29yrs old and have gone through HELL with my moms drinking for years and she’s finally been doing better. Bringing an innocent child into this world, with an alcoholic? What kind of good do you see in that?? He’s an alcoholic that’s all there is to it. And you will not change him and a baby definitely won’t either. Quit wasting your time.
Either an alcoholic, or he has a woman on the side and his time spent with her is blamed on alcohol to get away with being gone for days and not talking… neither sound good 
Honey enough is enough! You said it yourself! No child deserves a drunk parent for days at a time!! Why would you want your whole life built around his going out ??? Run …… find you a responsible man to build a life with!
He’s an alcoholic drunk. Why would you want to put you, your daughter and your family through that? Get out now.
This relationship is already over… it just sounds like you’re holding on to something that’s already gone. Stop wasting your time definitely don’t have a baby together unless he gets sober and stays sober for a period of time. You will make it so much worse for yourself if you hang out to something that’s not bringing you peace.
3 months. 3 months! Why would you do all of this for 3 months, why would you let your child be jipped off for 3 months. And not even a great 3 months from the sounds of it. What the heck
Girl…. Get out NOW! It’s one thing if you party that hard a couple nights a year, but a reoccurring “going out” & getting THAT tore up on a regular basis?! Absolutely not. That sounds like a living hell. He’s needs to get some help.
WTF why are you trying to bring a baby into this !! STOP no baby is going to turn this around 
wake up and smell the shit and get out and away from this guy you are blinded by Lust he doesn’t love you and is gas lighting the shit out of you while sleeping with other women that’s exactly what he is doing 
for a fact 
just don’t block his number and find someone that healthy for you CHILD and yourself !!! Find god Jesus Christ and find peace and happiness this is not going to end good at all choice to ignore my warning that’s your choice but you will look back and regret every second you waste of your life and your child’s on this “guy” time is precious and your going to regret this
AA or no deal. That’s it. And you start going to AlAnon meetings so you understand how you’re being hustled, and how to respond. If he won’t go, or doesn’t like the meetings or thinks everyone there is a loser (except for him) it’s over. It’s not about you, mom. It’s about your children. You’re setting an example. Is abused GF of drunk how you want your children to model their adult behavior?
You need to give him an ultimatum (and I hate saying that but it’s the only way) - he stops drinking safely with a doctor’s help (because he’s obviously an alcoholic and stopping cold turkey could kill him) or you walk. And stick to it. And for the love of god do not have a baby with this man until he has shown at LEAST a year of being sober. AT LEAST.
Girl, put your kids first an focus on them. Nothing good can come of them watching their Momma put up with a drunk that has no regard for wants, need, or feelings. Set a better example for their sake, even if you don’t feel like you deserve better for yourself.
You may want to seek out some codependency meetings or Al-Anon groups in your neighborhood.
As someone that has been on the codependency side, you can not change things by setting non negotiable limits.
Addicts/alcoholics are suffering from a nasty thing and unfortunately you’re caught in the middle of it.
It’s a vicious cycle that is tough to break free from.
Before you try to bring a baby into that situation (a pregnancy and stress could push him further into his addiction) you need to put yourself first and take a hard look at the situation you are in.
When you said three months on.is that the length of time you’s been seeing each other.Girl you say he loves you.Geez give up.He loves his drink,
Mates.
Socializing.
Know doubt, females attention.hope you see where I’m coming from.but anyway good luck on what ever 
decision’s you make.
He’s an alcoholic. Go to an Al-Anon meeting that is for family members of alcoholics. You can’t help him and you’re going to continue this cycle for nothing. You have to decide if you want to have anxiety over him until he decides to dry up for good. You either have to learn to shut that anxiety off or let go and walk away. Everyone’s bottom is different. Some people lose their family and have even been hospitalized or homeless and they still drink. It’s a hard life to be with an addict.
The man needs help aa or something I would not deal with that unless he gets help its only going to get worse
Why would you allow ANY man with behaviors like this around kids you already have, let alone make some
More.
Stay gone, no contact and move forward!!!
Do not move in.
Do not have a baby.
Join Al Anon
He’s a loser, move on. A real man wouldn’t put you through that.
Why in the hell would you even consider having another child with an immature child you can’t trust, and obviously don’t want to be with…enough kids are being negatively affected by BOTH OF YOUR BEHAVIORS…GROW UP AND GIVE YOUR KIDS A DECENT LIFE INSTEAD OF MENTALLY UNHEALTHY CONSTANT DRAMA!!! THAT SHOULD BE YOUR TOP PRIORITY NOT PLAYING HOUSE!!! GROW UP!!!
I’m sure when you texted him telling him to go off and do him… He took it that way. Let him go.
Stupid question. Get rid of himm.
Is this the role model you want for your child?
You ARE an idiot though and you must be insecure to be putting up with the BS. You have all these very serious issues with him but you wanna move in with him and have a baby with him… cause that’s totally going to make him grow up and change. 
He clearly can’t take care of himself and has no respect for you, so why?
Take care of your kids and make better life choices or stay miserable, but don’t be selfish and bring another child into a screwed up situation.
you can’t make him change so move on because this will not changed until he deicides to do it himself and that may never happen
Run and Don’t look back, you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment and heartbreak.
Sounds like you’re the only one in a committed relationship. Please don’t move him in and make children with him. Addiction is hard, very hard, and without help he might be stuck in this rotation for quite some time. Respect yourself !!!
He is a textbook alcoholic. The only chamce he has of changing is hitting rocl bottom and.truely wanting to change. Praying rock bottom for him isn’t death because for a lot of people it is.
Give him a choice you or drinking I did he chose me if he chooses alcohol then let him go
Why are you allowing this? Not only does it effect you but it effects YOUR child. Get out of this shitty relationship. Good lord.
Sorry to say he doesn’t respect you!! He’s going to keep treating you like this because you keep allowing it!! You give children boundaries!! A real man wouldn’t allow for you to feel this way and wonder and question his whereabouts and actions. Be strong. Leave. You got this. Don’t take another sorry from this dude. Don’t look back!!
You care TOO much and he doesn’t care at all. There can be no relationship like that. If he is really sincere, he would do things to try and make it up to you for worrying. Leave him. You have to be an example to your child. Pray for his children. He will just find some other woman and do the same thing to her. I feel sorry for his children.
You need to break up.
After you’ve broken up, you should try Alanon. It will help you realize a lot about why your relationship can’t work and how to properly grieve.
I’m sorry.
The best apology is changed behavior. He isn’t doing that at all. He is a full blown alcoholic.
Your life will be a chaotic shit show if you move in with him. Cut the ties and move on - that would be the wisest choice for you and your kid.
Sounds like he has an addiction issue and no one can help him but himself. You will waste many years trying and trying. Save yourself time
Don’t waste your time and energy on a drunk.
Love and respect yourself. You are not in a relationship.
A DEAD END relationship; get away.
I never comment on these posts but this is my exact life. It started the weekend I started dating my husband and that was in 2010. I didn’t hear from him bc he was drunk from Friday until Monday morning. It really hasn’t changed much, unfortunately. We have been married almost 9 years and this is our biggest issue. I also have anxiety and feel like I don’t ask much… just for him to respect me and our children by texting a few times to check in when he goes out. It’s almost made us divorce multiple times. I felt it was a lack of respect but I think alcohol just does something to his brain. If you want to talk anymore pm me and I’d he glad to share experiences! Good luck… its hard when you have children and care for someone.
Why would you want to think about bringing a helpless baby into the mix. Don’t get pregnant with him
Get Away before he hurts you move and never look back
Oh dear. Your still hanging on to the few good times. Movies and TV have you thinking his ALCOHOLISM will magically disappear on it’s own and he will be the man your child and his children need him to be. Maybe you should help his children by making him get help. Maybe thru Childrens Services. He is a mess and they deserve a better life. You and your child do as well. Do Not bring another child into a mess you cant fix for the ones stuck in it already. Get your head on. You deserve better. Be better. Get him into treatment or get gone.
He has problems that have nothing to do with you. You cannot fix him, but you can save yourself. Red flags all over the place.
If you decide to stay, you’re probably in for a world of hurt.
I hope you cut your losses and move on with your life. And please, don’t purposefully bring a child into the world with this guy……
You deserve better
Silence is deadly. Leave quietly without anyone knowing. Move on with your life. Block him and stay strong with it. Imagine being successful with being pregnant and you’re at home stressing with anxiety while pregnant even after birth cause hes on a no contact bender again. Thank goodness you’re experiencing it without a baby so you can look after you first. Please know your worth, please know sometimes it’s not always “that just happens in the movies”. Good, real, heart warming, fuzzy, fun love is real! You just haven’t felt it yet. You’ve had a glimpse of it while with him but he has to be sober and present for you to receive it. Sounds like you embrace it when it’s good but I bet you still have anxiety even in the good times cause you’re worried how long it will last before YOU ALLOW HIM to cause your next anxiety and sleepless night. All the best
Melissa Ann Sealy read the comments xxxx
Think is this truly the way you want your children to live. In fear, and for you is this how you want to live
With a drunk anyways with lies and and fear. Will he come home will he be arrested or dead. Leave. If he changes at least a year or more his choice. He is the only one who can change him. He needs serious long term intense rwhab
Do NOT GET PREGNANT that will be stress upon stress with a guy you have to guess so much about already, ya’ll are not there. Honestly it doesn’t sound like it will get better.
Sounds to me like you have a drunk on your hands and it will not get any better. The last thing you need with him is to get pregnant. You think you are stressed now think how much worse it would be with a baby and never knowing where he is or when he might come home. Even worse him get drunk and hit someone on the hiway and kill a whole family and him be killed or end up in prison if he survived. You need to wait a while and find a new boyfriend. You will have to live like you are living now if you don’t drop him.
red flag! he won’t change unless he wants to.
I stopped reading after you said u thought he finally understood. He’s a drunk and alcohol destroys lives and everybody in it, he will take u down with him if u let him.
Been there done that…it never gets better…it gets worse…do yourself a favour and quit while you are ahead
I was married for 32 yrs. My husband did the same. He called me at work and said he wanted a divorce. He’d been cheating on me with his high school 1st girlfriend. He devastated me. I gave him my heart and soul. He was a good dad and had stopped drinking for awhile when I told him no kids until h3 stopped. Anyway, don’t waste your life trying to fix him. Walk away. I’m older and am alone. My kids have their lives. Find somebody that will find you important and to love. You are worth happiness!
I didn’t even read all that. I stopped at “we were 3 months on”. If y’all having these issues so early on, skip moving in and just go straight to moving on.
I know you love him but something sounds really suspicious about him completely ignoring you every time he goes out, sounds like he might be hooking up with other women bc why else wouldn’t he be able to pick up the phone and just say “hey babe, just letting you know I made it home safe” that’s not a lot to ask for! You need to rrruuuuunnnn! Get out before you’re stuck with this questionable lifestyle of his! I promise you’ll find someone who will treat you the way you deserve as long as you don’t settle and listen to your gut about those 
Leave him before you waste Years of your life he’s not gonna change he hasn’t changed for his own kids what makes you think he would change for the baby yall would have if you got pregnant you would be the one raising yalls kid while he’s out partying.
He isn’t going to change and why would YOU want to bring a child into to this. You need to move on. Yes you love him but that won’t fix him. Do your child any yourself a lot of hurt and pain and let him go. Thank heaven you have your own place.
BIG RED FLAG hes not jus drinking n forgetting threres more to that story you need to move on hes NOT going to change my momma told me DOGS DONT CHANGE THERE SPOTS n i learned the hard way dont waste your good years hes not
Need to know it’s going to continue so cut your losses and move on
It’s still so new, get out now, the right one is out there for you girl!!
Obviously your not his priority, alcohol is, if he truly cared, he would think about your anxiety and seek help, you should stop being a crutch, he sounds like a alcoholic, if when he starts to drink he can’t stop until out of it, he is, and please don’t bring an innocent child into that scenario.
Look stop wasting your time you wont be able to change anyone if they dont want to change. Also from the sounds of things he may have a drinking problem and trust me when i say that isnt easy to change or stop. The only i changed my drinking issue was the week i spent in lock up then moving into a dry house out in no where land.
So sorry, but let him go… He’s not gonna change.
He is a drunk and I’ll put money on it that he is cheating on you as well. This is awful and seems like it’s best to leave him. No one is worth your happiness and losing your mind over. You will see soon when you leave him and it all blows over that he never deserved you and you are too good for him. Good luck and go with your gut. If you have to make excuses for someone and say he’s amazing when he isn’t drinking that is a huge red flag. Just think if your sister, best friend, co-worker, or daughter was going through this and said this all word for word to you, you would tell them to leave them right? You know your better than this 
I’m sorry but you do sound idiotic (as you mentioned)… it’s hard to see someone who you care about prioritizing an addiction over everything else… but honey when someone shows you who they are…believe them!! Literally nothing has stopped him from doing what he wants to do… you deserve so much better. Move on and get someone who is 100% and not a “project” that needs to grow up and keeping you this stressed out. There are plenty of people out there who can give you what you want and need and won’t treat you this way. I couldn’t imagine my husband doing this even once… let alone allowing it to affect my children’s lives, memories and opportunities. Ask yourself “if he never changed and stayed how he is now - would I be okay with it?” Because you cannot fall in love with potential. Good luck, stay strong… 
Big hugs!
He sounds like he’s married to alcohol. I do not think he’s cheating, just recovering from guilt and shame . , but who knows. He is not capable of a real relationship. Just curious. If your best friend treated you this way, would you put up with it? Or would you remain close friends. Something to think about. If you wouldn’t put up with it from your friends, then why a man ? Your kids deserve better. Put your kids first please .
He’s showing you who he is. Run.
He’s an alcoholic and probably spends those missing days with his other girlfriend
Leave, the drinking will get worse.
Obviously he brings out the worst in you. And I’m sorry… trying for a baby when you’ve only been with him 3 months? Like what? He’s inconsiderate and doesn’t put you first. Has no respect on how this makes you feel. Bad enough there are already kids involved don’t bring another one into this mess. Find someone who respects you. And where alcohol isn’t such an issue. Have more respect for yourself. You are worth more and so is your child.
Honey, he’s got a problem, and it seems like a big one at that. If 3 months down the line he’s acting like this, think about a year! You need to get away!!! Leave him before it gets worse!
Did I understand you right that you are trying for a baby…please don’t bring a baby in this mess…get out a never look back…you will be sooo sorry if you stay in this mess…not your place to watch him
Lady… he clearly is a alkoholic and will never change. dont have a baby with him. unless he is doing something about his drinkingproblem. he also has no responsebility as it seems. he needs to change and grow up if he ever wants to be a father and husband to jou. my advise i,am 83.
Do you really want a baby or to live with someone that doesn’t respect you? Why does he need to get that drunk? That’s a red flag!! If it’s not ok now it’s not going to be better when you live together. If you question if he’s with someone else, and being gone with no contact not answering or calling you back if he’s had a missed call or text from you (another red flag) suppose you had his kid and something was wrong that you needed him ???
and you have told him how you feel and it’s continuing. Knowing it causes problems he appears to be self absorbed and selfish.That’s upmost disrespectful. Know your worth,love yourself.set boundaries! Pray for him and move on . You don’t want your children watching that.
Beginning stages of chronic alcoholism, he’ll quit when he wants, a baby isn’t going to make him stop, nor are threats and breaking up
You need to get out of this relationship
He does not care about anyone but himself right now. He doesn’t sound like a winner. Time to cut your loses and bow out and find a man that treats you like a queen and that’s who you get pregnant with.
This person is an alcoholic and they will always choose the drink over you until he can actually stay sober I would get back on birth control, do not allow him to move in and create some serious distance. You are not a priority, no one is, just his drink.
When we have to ask for respect. Time to move on.
He is an out and out alcoholic. Until he reaches the bottom and admits he has a problem and faces it there is nothing you or anyone else can do. If he tries and he practices recovery, he is worth it. If not, don’t stick around.
Sounds like he’s more than an alcoholic to me
alcoholics that dont quit are not good partners and certainly not good fathers. see the light girl and move the hell on if he doesnt get clean and sober.believe me ive been there done that i know
Go to Al-Anon. It’s for friends and family who are impacted by someone’s drinking.
Drop him move on to better place.not worth it.
Controlling him won’t get you anywhere… If he messes up he messes up whether he text you back or not.
Step away while you can now… Nothing will change, know matter how much you try.
Everyone knows the cure for alcoholism is having a baby… 
What is wrong with you?
Honey, he’s an alcoholic. It’s an addiction. He can’t think of anything but that next drink. Not you, not living together, not a baby, just that next bender. He wants to get plastered. He can’t just socially drink anymore. He’ll drink till he passes out. He won’t remember where he was or what he did. Blackouts. He’ll be upset about them, but not enough to stop. He’ll wake up, hung over maybe, but he’ll still want to drink again. You could try going to Al-Anon. They are going to tell you that you can’t make him stop drinking. Only he can do that. He has to first admit he has a problem. Then he has to decide he wants to do something about it. He has to decide. And you can be supportive, but you can’t do it for him. He can try, but there will be set backs if he doesn’t work the program and stay in contact with his sponsor. If he doesn’t want to get sober bad enough. He can’t do it for anyone but himself or it won’t work. You can’t nag him into it. Or supervise him into it. You have to let him do it on his own. And you have to accept that he may never do it. And so… you may need to tell him goodbye and move on.
Why would you want a baby with someone who disappears for 2 day? Just why? Control of alcohol intake should be one of the top things on your list for a man especially when you have children around. I couldn’t even go on reading. Don’t have a baby don’t move in together, you can do better if only you allow yourself too
what u haVE TO DO FOR YOURSELF AND KIDS IS - CALM DOWN SO U CAN THINK STRAIGHT , tell yourself this i can’t be with a man like this why because in long run he’s going to hurt me and the kids - but mainly the kids more - so yes it’s gonna hurt me ,but i have to do this and move out of where i am living now (unless it is your place- than u don’t have to move ) if the place belongs to u have your landlord come and change the locks on door why because u don’t need a drunk in your home with kids around ! honey get a true man whom cares for u - and just maybe in the future you may than think about having a baby but not now! you yourself is to strung out right now - so please try and do the right thing for u and kids put him in the back of your mind - things should get better for and kids - but only if u want them too! “DON’T HURT THE KIDS - BY WANTING TO MOVE IN WITH THIS GUY - YOUR’LL ONLY HURTING YOUR FUTURE IF U DO”
He is an abusive alcoholic - LEAVE now - before he physically hurts you or the children. Until HE wants to change he won’t do anything - get the heck away for him.
He needs help. Not an enabler. This behavior is irresponsible and not
Normal drinking behavior. Not saying he’s an alcoholic as only he can identify. But his Drinking behavior is a serious issue. And if he is an alcoholic, it will only get Worse. Move on if he’s unwilling to get help. Save yourself the certain misery.
Why are you wasting your time with him. Say good bye and start a real life.
He’s gonna grow up one day just give him the ultimatum to cut back on the partying talk to him lf he’s a good bloke and wants u in his life he’ll come to his senses
This relationship isn’t working for either of you and all I can say is time for you to move on… he needs help, maybe you need help too, you can’t control him so stop trying too, he definitely needs to go to AAA … you will only make yourself mentally ill worrying over him, if he doesn’t want to change he won’t. But you can change, help yourself first, let him go, life is too short and with this burden you are creating in yourself is not helping…
He an alcoholic. You can’t help him, till he helps himself.
Do not have a baby with someone who stays out getting drunk for days at a time. He isnt staying home for the other kids or even your kid so why would he stay home for another one ? You’d be left with another kid to care for and a mostly absentee partner.
If you stop him going out he’s going to resent you for doing that, he doesn’t want a relationship I can tell you this because any chance I had to get away from my ex to go out and do anything else I would do it, I don’t want you to be hurt but it sounds like that… and i admit it now but at the time I kept fooling myself into thinking I’d want it back one day but I didn’t. We separated in the end.