I was married to a drinker years ago.I had to put myself and the kids first so i walked.He will never stop drinking thats there choice.But please think twice about moving in wirh him,as you will be worried worse than you are now.Second he is grown up has his own mind.He might love you but drink is his first love believe me.
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Hes not going to change he clearly dont want to, do not have a child with him it wouldnt be right at the moment, he clearly has a issue with booze, is his relationship stronger with the booze than you? If so go your own way
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You can find a man that is amazing who also doesn’t drink… they aren’t unicorns, you just have to find one that is at the same level. You can’t change him, he has to change him and that’s a long hard road from hell. I wouldn’t have the courage.
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He’s the one making you anxious and paranoid but if I was withsomeone like this I’d have to leave its not good situation he won’t change no matter what is said is love enough? Sometimes it isnt oh yes he is attentive do anything for you but soon as he after the beer nothingcelse matters not even you or the kids he’s already let you down and mark my words he will again before you bring another child into the world is this the environment you want your kids to be raised in. You can easily live this way til the relationship ends or choose enough is enough and leave? Nothing will change here in this relationship unless you make the change
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He’s a drinker !! If you get with him This IS YOUR LIFE…… It don’t get clearer then THIS!
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Alcoholism is a desease that in a lot of cases is so strong and addictive, it can control his body and mind, and yes it takes over as #1 in his life. It can and will ruin his whole life as well as yor’s if U let it. Don’t give up on him but by that I mean 
pray for him bc that’s all u really can do. The best thing for u is to leave and take care of yorself. He has to hit a point where he maybe is rock bottom and looses everything and hopefully then realizes that he has no choice but to quite in order to save himself. I tell u this bc my son is an alcoholic, I kno from experience and it is not a nice situation to deal with. I pray U will pray and do wht’s best for all concerned:pray:
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Don’t have a baby with him, nows not the time your mental health and well being, him being a alcoholic (binge drinker) and his mental health. Both need to separate both need therapy/counselling then maybe afterwards if yous both wanted to to revist the relationship. Think of the kiddies here already seeing you both like this and how it is for them x
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So toxic! Leave now!!!
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I was married to a drinker…went out for a couple of pints didnt stop for 3 days was abusive etc…please don’t get stuck in this relationship. Believe me it only gets worse.
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If losing you don’t stop him nothing will. Why are you still trying, it’s not you who needs to try. Call it a day and move on with your life.
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Girl… you need to stop chasing him and focus on you and your child. You shouldn’t allow someone like that around your child. He’s definitely not a good role model and while you’re worried about what the hell he is doing out there, you can use that time to do something better for you and your child.
People like that change when they want to. He doesn’t want to and especially for you obviously. Move on. It’s that simple. Stop wasting your time chasing him. He’s an adult. Forget him.
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Sounds like he is still quite immature and not ready for all the responsibility of a relationship. I’m sure he does love you and I’m sure he means it when he says he sorry but he isn’t at a place where he sees that he needs to change, for himself, you and the relationship. Idk what the answer is… Maybe hold on and wait to see if he matures, or move on?!?
You need to be done with him period, he obviously has a drinking problem and he needs to grow up and he obviously doesn’t want to be tied down in a relationship. Do yourself a favor and move on. And be Thankful you haven’t had his off spring. You need to know you deserve so much better than what he’s doing to you. I would be willing to bet he’s doing more than just drinking alcohol, and I’m sure he’s not being faithful either. Say your goodbyes sister… He’s drama you don’t have time for or need. Worthless POS is what he is.
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Run!! You deserve better than someone who clearly has a drinking problem. It will be nothing but major anxiety in the future! Been there, lived that life.
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Seems like you care more about him than he cares about you. If he doesn’t want to change he won’t, if you don’t like it leave. It’s not always easy to make the right choices. Learn from this and move on
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Did you say you’ve only been together three months? He’s a binge alcoholic -run. Run just run you and your child. Don’t do it for you because you can’t see the forest 
among the trees. Do it for your child.
Stop trying to control addicts and date people who meet your standards.
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Girl Run Run 
you can’t fix him.take care of yourself and kids. You are not a therapist!
He needs to completely stop drinking and until this happens for good and he proves it by staying sober for 6 months you need to stay away from him.
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Leave him and never take him back! He will never change. I have been in ur shoes. It sucks and hurts like hell but in the long run u will be so happy u did. Find someone who treats u with respect that u deserve. Wish u nothing but the best! U got this!!!
His life who are you to tell him what to do with it 
hes a bf not a husband so he can live his life how he wishes and maybe he is cheating on you because you sound so needy and clingy js
Alcoholics don’t care for others boundaries they only care for them self and when they are getting their next drink … I suggest breaking up and move along with your life
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Omgosh stop trying to get pregnant. He’s not ready and don’t move in together. He’s not your person. Stop collecting red flags. If he was “into” you he wouldn’t be doing these things. Dump him and go next.
Why are you settling? Is this the life you love?
He doesnt care what kind of life is this for the kids?
His not your person let him go.
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DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER. Nothing is going to change with him. All the help in the world isn’t going to work . It has to be on him. And you MIGHT WANT TO BRING A BABY IN ON THIS TOO. Good Lord girl. Get a grip. A totally bad situation all together. Get on with your own life.
I don’t think that you would listen to any advice because you know the answer to your problem is to leave him. You will not do it until you decide enough is enough. Your also thinking on having a baby with this man? I would say think 100 times before you do that. You mentioned he disappointed his children n yours don’t add more kids to the mix until he really changes which it doesn’t sound like he will. Maybe get him to go to AA meetings he sounds like he can use that
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I would be gone by now 
Why are you subjecting your child to this? If you think your child can’t see or feel the toxicity, you are very mistakin and need to think about what you are causing by allowing this behavior in your life and your kids life ! GROW UP!!!
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Words mean nothing, actions prove everything.
He’s clearly an alcoholic and until he’s ready to quit there’s nothing you can do to help him. It’s time to walk away… you cant fix him… you need to worry about yourself.
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Don’t have a baby with this guy. He won’t change. Move on and find someone who doesn’t have a drinking problem.
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I refuse to date alcoholics. I have in the past and they never change. It runs their lives. For the sake of your mental health, stay away from him. You deserve better. Remember that. Why do your waste your time on him? Obviously you’re not number one.
Alcohol is
Wait,you want to have a kid with this loser? Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you?
P.S. he doesn’t love you. He only loves alcohol. Otherwise he’d get help.
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Dump his dead ass. You couldn’t possible see a future with him. If he really loves you he will get help. Until that happens you will be miserable with the direction of your life. What you think is love may just be pity for a lost human being.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free
So you’re trying to have a baby with an alcoholic? When you yourself have just stated everything he puts you, your kids and his kids through? Sorry but I don’t understand that. Love is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship or family life. If it was me I would be putting my current children 1st before anyone else, including myself
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You said crack a lot maybe he is doing crack , my ex-husband sure was and he was also an alcoholic you cannot help these people and they are not in the mood to help themselves. I wouldn’t be sleeping with this man if I was you because he’s going to give you everything that he caught from the night before. Alcoholic men will sleep with anything and everything. Drug addicts will also in order to get that drug they’ll sleep with whatever comes along, coming up missing cuz he doesn’t want to be found, he’s somewhere down in shady town. and you need to get away from him.
You said it yourself- it’s making you feel really insecure. You deserve to be respected and to respect yourself. His actions show a complete lack of respect. If it started out like this, it won’t get better. I don’t normally jump to leave him but in this case, you should respect yourself and leave him. You deserve better.
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You need to let him figure himself out and take care of you and your child. I dated a guy in my early 20’s that was similar but he got shitfaced EVERY WEEKEND!! But I was young and in love (he was actually the guy I pined over all the way through high-school, so I probably put up with more than I should have). He actually got a DUI riding a bike back to my house from the bar…and he was so tore up that he slept with a face on my doormat and his legs inside. He would also go drink with friends and not call for a few days. My final straw was when, yet again, I picked him up after being called by the bar (this was in the late 90’s and not everyone had a cell phone, lol!) and I pulled over by the beach a few blocks away when he thought he was going to puke…he laid in the bed of my truck and I kinda dozed off (I was 100% sober, just tired at 2:30am!) Next thing I know, I am being woken up my a Police Officer tapping on my window because he saw us sitting there for a while …and he wanted to call an ambulance because my BF was puking up blood.
I tell you all this because it turns out, he WAS cheating on me the whole time, every time he went out drinking and his friends helped and covered for him. I wasted 4 years on him because I always convinced myself that he was such a good guy when he wasn’t drinking. And I didn’t have kids in the mix. Your child will grow up seeing this and seeing you upset and think it’s normal. Please let him go and move on and find someone who is ready to be in a grown up relationship.
Why are you investing so much in a man that doesn’t seem to care about you. His first love is his booze and freedom. Move on he will never change and stop wasting your life trying to make this work. Take everyone’s advice and save yourself years of misery and disappointment. Honestly please leave this toxic man. You deserve better and so does your kid.
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This man is an alcoholic and nothing you or his family do or say is going to change that. The only person who can help him is him and he’s not ready and he may never be ready. For your own sanity move on with your life, pray for him and let him go.
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When someone shows you who they truly are… believe them the first time… it saves a lot of heartache
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This man is not just going out. He is an alcoholic and isn’t in control of his own actions when he goes out. I acted like this myself until I finally decided to grow up. Can’t imagine any kids being in the middle of all that. You can try to talk to him about cutting out that kind of behavior but unless he decides to stop drinking until he is likely blacking out, and on his own, he won’t stop. You’re not acting controlling. You just want a partner whose life isn’t controlled by alcohol. Who knows if he’ll ever decide he’s had enough of it to quit. This type of person can’t just drink a few drinks socially.
Girl do not bring a poor baby into this mess. Understand that until you draw the line he will continue to do as he wants. If you threaten to leave you need to follow through because if you’re saying you are then you two just make up you’re showing him it’s just a threat. His priorities right now are partying not you
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Some times you just have to be DONE! He is gaslighting you and sounds very narcissistic on top of being an alcoholic which is never a good mix. Break-up’s are hard but he’s not the one for you sis. You deserve better and I think you know that in your heart. Focus on your children and getting yourself in a good spot then get back out there. You Got This!

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Hes an Alcoholic . It’s only gonna get worse. Never gonna change… Grow up, get a grip, don’t get pregnant, move on, find someone who’s not a drunk. Even his family knows he’s a lost cause and probably have been going through him disappearing on a drunken spree for years. Face reality.
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He’s taking you out of character and making you seem like your crazy or controlling. But seriously do yourself and your kids a favor and run! Run fast! He has a problem please Don’t bring a innocent baby into this mess! The babies and you deserve better! You are given all the signs now for a reason and that’s to make better choices and find someone better. I sure hope you listen and leave him.
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I would guess there are drugs involved too or another woman. Normal people don’t disappear for days on end with no contact. I would cut things off now before you have a kid together obviously. Why bring a child into a relationship that is barely existent as it is. He needs to get help and until he decides on his own to do that there is nothing you can say or do that will change his behavior. It doesn’t matter how upset you get or how many times he sees you crying or being up all night worrying. You will kill yourself trying to get him to change and it still won’t change him any quicker then he’s ready too. If you want to continue to deal with it then that is your choice by all means but can you imagine being pregnant and going into labor and him being MIA or for birthdays, special events and holidays.
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You can’t fix an addict. You should leave. Definitely do not get pregnant, it’s not going to change him.
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Looks like he lacks compassion, dump him
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Sounds like you could use Al-anon.
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Cut your losses.
You’re wrapped up in a HUGE red flag.
Alcoholics almost never change and it’s not the life to live, especially with children involved.
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Start using your brains he is a loser. Do you want a drunk for your family
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He is an alcoholic needs help leave him I have been there not worth it
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I was married to one like him he promised for 8 years to change and 3 kids later he still hadn’t changed he was fine for a month sometimes and I gave in but one day I decided time was up best thing I ever did think of the children and realise you are not a priority in his life he’s not going to change promises are easy to make and easy to break
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Why are you even entertaining this? One time my boyfriend goes out & I don’t hear from him for 2 days…I’m done. Stop being a doormat
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Your life together? You have no life together. His first lover is alcohol. Those few moments when he is attentive - You are paying a very high price for crumbs. This is so not about him messaging you when he’s on a bender. Go to Al Anon and get your head straight, if for no one else, at least for you kids.
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Alcohol is the ruination of marriage and life. If he doesn’t go for help, get out of the situation now while you can. You’ll br happy you did.
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Why are you staying with a selfish, self centered alcoholic? Why are you leading yourself to believe that “everything other than this is good”? I think you should step back, look at his selfish destructive way of life and move on. Been there done that and believe me there are REAL men out there that appreciate a good woman.
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Yes red flag Give him the boot Shape up or ship out Who needs this It doesnt get better hun God bless Hood luck AA Hes an alcoholic You can fix it he has to eant help and want to wuite Did you ever hear if the word Enabling? It’s tough but your children or you dont deserve this
Cut him loose save yourself and the family a world of pain and for fucks sake DO NOT AND I MEAN DO NOT BRING AN INNOCENT HEALTHY BABY INTO THIS SHITSHOW
So long not worth the worry.
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Why would you WANT to be in this kind of a relationship?
I’m sorry to say but you actually have no control over his actions. I have personally been with a couple of ex-partners who were like this- let me tell you I am so grateful I did not have children with them.
They do not change this is a lifestyle choice.
I would keep living your own life and keeping your own child safe and only let a partner in who ticks off your most important boxes (non-negotiable behaviour)
Also why are you trying for a baby with someone you don’t live with yet?? Do you think a baby will kick him in to gear to fulfil your desires? It won’t.
You don’t treat him second rate so why should you let him do it to you???
Please don’t have a baby with him. A baby will not make this problem go away.
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First, please do not have a child with this man. Second, do not move in with him. You’re not going to want to hear this, but he needs help that you can’t provide. Alcoholism is a disease and he needs to want to quit or else he won’t get help. You can’t make him. Right now you’re enabling him to continue because there are no consequences for his actions. This is not in your control. He has to want it, you and a life with you. I’m sorry, but maybe it’s time for an ultimatum. You or the booze. Because he can’t have both. You will be miserable if you continue this relationship. Getting sober could take months or even years.
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You need to leave lady. You might love him, and were trying for a baby with him, but you also have a child to think about. If he’s doing this constantly it’s not worth it. He might be amazing other times but that’s a big part that he’s not
You have got to be out of your mind. Trying for a baby with an obvious drunk? Do you have no self esteem or concern for your child and yet another one? You need counseling and he needs rehab . Please do not bring another child into the world until you Are healthy.
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Leave…I know it’s hard but it is the best thing you will ever do…he does not care…and never will…the drink is all they care about and having fun…he wants the family but not the responsibility…watch how toxic he will be when you leave him…everything will be your fault…you will be to blame he will make you feel guilty for leaving…rise above it …it will hurt but it is the best for YOU and your KID…you need to think about YOURSELVES…coming from a person who’s been through it all…but he was a compulsive liar aswell and liked to make everyone see him as the victim…classic narcissist…
He is not going to change or make anything better for you. If he doesn’t desire to quit he’s not going to for anyone. They know all the right words but their actions don’t follow those words. He continues to break your boundaries because you allow it so why should he care 
You need to decide if you want to live like this or not. It’s on you to decide what kind of life you desire.
Let him go. It’s absolute hell living with an alcoholic.