I am struggling with my step daughters behavior: Advice?

Trying to change a 16 year old you didn’t help raise or create instead of trying to connect with her is ridiculous. Get off this stupid app asking for advice and go be KIND and try and connect with her by LOVING her.

The moment my SO washes his hands of the kids only I made…is the moment his ass is gone. Teenagers are not easy. She’s being a NORMAL teen. Learn from this and try your best and not to change her, but connect and love. If you do that, it’ll all work out, if you can’t…well, it doesn’t end at 18.

1 Like

Half the posts on this page need to be calling therapist and seeking professional help, not our fb opinions. Go to family therepy because I promise you’re part of the problem. :woman_facepalming:t4:

10 Likes

My friends daughter was sold to older men, by her mother, because of the trauma she’s dealt with there when she finally got to move in with her dad she started acting out. She is 14 and is sneaking out to have secs threatening s**cide anytime she doesn’t get her way, has already had like 3 girlfriends and I don’t even know how many boyfriends and has even went as far as starving herself because he didn’t get her burger king. I already told him if he sent her back to her mom’s I would intervene because a mother shouldn’t have allowed anyone to abuse her the way she was and it had started at the age of like 8.

3 Likes

Being a stepparent is a thankless job. Parenting a teenager is a rough row to hoe no matter how you slice it. It sounds like she has been allowed to listen to this music she likes, so you aren’t going to get it away from her now. What you can do is insist she uses headphones so no one else has to hear it. Tell her you don’t want the younger kids hearing that until they get older. As far as the TikTok is concerned I would tell her that a lot of creeps watch TikTok to see stuff like what she is putting out with her body and it isn’t safe to do that. Tell her it’s demeaning to women and she should think more of herself than that. Put your foot down on the drug use. It’s illegal and tell her you won’t allow it in your house. That’s one rule that you plan to enforce even if it means searching her room to make sure she doesn’t have it. That includes her vape juice. And vaping is illegal for kids her age, so that’s going to come to a stop too. Tell her you plan to have things change. Call your local mental health center and get her set up to see a therapist and set the family up for therapy as well. Changes have to be made for all of you to survive together. I don’t think the answer is to send her back to her mother. Like as not her mother can’t handle her either. What’s important is to get her to realize that she’s going down a dangerous path at the moment. And you need to come to terms with the fact that your resentment of her behavior has stifled whatever tender feelings you have for her. In your post, nothing was said about you loving this girl. That makes me feel like the anger you feel toward her influencing the behavior of the younger kids is tainting your ability to care for your stepdaughter. You have to get past that. Once you do, you can start to build the family with movie nights, game nights, bonfires with s’mores and conversation, that sort of thing. It won’t happen overnight, but you have to try.

2 Likes

I’m so happy to see so many ladies on here saying what needs to be said. This is typical teenage behavior and you’ve already acknowledged that she comes from a bad situation. Do better.

4 Likes

And let me guess ….your kids are well behaved and they don’t do anything bad unless they are under “her influence “

13 Likes

Yes you’re wrong. Not in the fact that you want her to do better but the fact you’re just going to give up and send her away? If you’ve done more than her own mother, she clearly needs someone to continue to be there for her. Seems like her dad doesn’t want to deal with her either. Maybe that’s why she’s acting out and doing things she knows she’s not supposed to. Try talking to her and see what’s really going on. As far as staying up all night and the mary Jane thing… You were a teenager once. Lighten up a little. Seems like you expect a whole hell of a lot of perfection from a 16 year old.

5 Likes

Therapy. Individual therapy for her and family therapy for all. This is attention-seeking behavior. She’s trying to say something but lacks the life experience to do it constructively.

Oh, can I ever relate. I went through all that and more. I wish I could go back and try to better understand what SHE was going through. Try to relax because she will grow out of it. Now, my stepdaughter is like my best friend.

5 Likes

I think you ALL need counseling! How is she treated at her moms?! You make her sound like a burden I bet she feels such too being with you. I hope you don’t just ship your children off because of their disobedience. You are a parent. Step up or step out!

6 Likes

I’d be willing to be most or all of the negative commentators have never been in your situation. I have been for 7 years and still am. It’s awful! He’s 16, his mother says d’s aren’t failing so it’s fine, weed, alcohol and sex are fine, that all kids deserve Nike, electronics and expensive things &thinks striving to live off Tik Tok is a great idea. The older step son has dropped out and is doing drugs. The younger is on a much worse path. No matter what my husband and I say or do, he doesn’t care because his trashy mother says that life is fine. She believes Kids should be allowed to do literally whatever they choose since 16 is almost an adult. After all these years all I want is him gone. I don’t say that. I say I love you, tried counseling, tried finding different schools, I encourage better goals etc etc but deep down I’m growing to despise him and his mother more and more. If others don’t know your life, don’t let them make you out to be a horrible person for how you feel. Your feelings are your own! Now your actions are very important. You should try to insist on counseling at the very least

1 Like

So when your kids get that age and start to rebel as most teenagers do, are you just gonna send them away too?

18 Likes

Does she want to live with her mom? Is she testing you to see if you will stick by her or give up on her?
Do you favor your kids over her? Sounds like she is lost and trying to find her place.

3 Likes

How long was it after you met, dated & then married her father? Ho long have you known her ? How much extended periods of time did you spend with her before you got married?
Before you moved in together did you and your husband sit down a few times and discuss & make a plan about everything and how you’ll navigate together that involves raising all the children, not just rules, Everything
Before moving in together did you have a few lengthy conversations with the kids about what was expected if them, what was unacceptable, rules, chores , ect …
If you did, it’s time to revisit all of these things
And if you never did, now is the time
And a counselor or therapist can help with mediation

2 Likes

Don’t push her away because you don’t want your “angels” to turn out to be like her… she’s still a child… she’s also your child wether you like it or not. You’re a step parent so start showing her some love …

13 Likes

Sounds like she didn’t get her a$$ beat enough. At 16, I was home by curfew, did my chores, and respect my parents home with no questions asked.

That poor girl. You lost me at “show her the better way”. I can already tell where this is going.

19 Likes

“show her the better way”??! Let her be herself and quit trying to change her. She’s practically an adult. Oof glad you weren’t my stepmother I would have scared the shit out of you.

Shes 16…and yours is getting there. It is normal to be rebellious and moody at that stage? I feel like you are also being way to nitpicky. Some stuff you should just let go. Honestly who cares if the music she listens too has cusswords? Rolling yout eyes is involuntary at that age and not something she should be punished for. Choose your battles, especially so she doesn’t feel like everything she does is wrong. That will only make her rebel more. What is wrong with you on wanting to send her to live with her mom though, how dare you! :triumph: you’re worried about how she was raised bit your inconvienenved and the first thing you want to do is send her away? She is your child! You are supposed to love her unconditionally, are you going to send your child away when they turn that age and start rebelling? It’s ficking normal.

15 Likes

You want to get rid of the kid bc she is being a teenager? You want to wash your hands of her bc it’s hard? You are sitting here saying you want to give a child away bc she isn’t the ideal child you want…. And you’re seriously asking if you’re in the wrong :flushed:.

Besides being a typical teenager, you’re bragging about doing more for her than her own mother. Her father remarried someone with “perfect” kids. And you don’t think maybe, just maybe, she’s had a hard life for a child to have to live? And your solution is to get rid of her bc it’s too hard for you. You’d rather mess the kid up even more bc she’s “messing up” the “perfect” life you got going on. I feel so bad for that child. And seriously music??? She’s 16!! And even if she wasn’t, you can sensor everything. You parent a child and let them know they can’t cuss like music does, it’s just lyrics, etc. you don’t try sheltering them from everything their entire lives. If you do, they turn 18 and wild out or can’t cope.

17 Likes

Welcome to having teenagers.shrigjt vr the first to act like that but won’t be the last.

2 Likes

Just wait momma 2 more years you’ll be back here saying this bout your 14 & 7 year old. Lol sounds like a normal 16 year old teen to me.

7 Likes

She sounds like a very typical teenager. I’m going to have to say you’re wrong. You’re the stepmother understanding that you are a huge part of why she acts the way she does especially towards you had got to be something you can’t ignore. Before you she had her dad and I’d say it’s safe to say she was her dads princess she could do no wrong. Now you’re there and added children to the mix so of course she is going to do whatever she can to get not only the attention she is lacking by getting any for if attention at all. She will do things to get others in trouble so that she can get positive attention but it backfires and you still give her attention but negative attention but still it’s attention. Let her be her and stop being so judgmental of the things she likes. You’re concern of the other kids doing what she does then start telling them they’re not old enough to do that stuff. Throwing your hands up to be done with her :face_with_raised_eyebrow: oh no no no hun you’re a mother you don’t get to just throw away a child bc parenting has become difficult. You need to wake up an stop worrying about what she listens to or does all the time. The only things that really need to be stopped is the vaping and pot until she is at least 18. You’re not going to win by fighting fire with fire. You need to pick one thing at a time to work with her on. An most importantly remember you invaded her space not the other way around. So her compassion and understanding with love but also a firm understanding that somethings are just not ok till you’re 18 to do.

8 Likes

Spank that girls ass! She’s not an adult yet and she’s living in your house. Next time she rolls those eye smack her. I don’t mean like beat her but help her get those eyes back in place. Take her bed, her clothes minus a few things for the week, her cell, anything and everything and make her earn it back. When she opens that mouth of hers smack that too. She wants to act grown give and treat her with adult consequences. I don’t give a fuck if nobody likes what im saying, I use to be her! I read this and saw myself 20+ years ago and I wish someone would of been tough on me. My road in life was very hard and very dangerous, please don’t let that happen to her.

Also I suggest therapy, there has to be an underlining issue that doesn’t make this situation better.

No matter what your married to her Dad. You don’t get to just push her away like that. She is a kid who is looking for stability, yes she may be a handful but she will remember if your the one who kept trying or if your the one who sent her away. Yes your kids matter but so does she.

6 Likes

She’s a teenager. Show her love. She will come around

Never give up on a child. Period. That’s a parenting fail. Get rid of her??? That’s the exact opposite that needs to happen there lady. Pull her closer, that’s clearly what she is silently screaming for.

8 Likes

I’d send her to bootcamp.

You chose to marry her dad, you chose to take on the role of mom. I was bounced from home to home at that age with those same issues and it caused me to not feel safe or loved and that’s what you are showing her by making her father choose between you and her that’s not right at all. Teenagers are going to do stupid things and I guarantee yours are doing the same things but they just don’t get caught or your turning a blind eye. It seems to me that your part of the issue. Try getting her in the see a psychologist because she may need the help. You can’t turn your back on a child you chose to raise.

6 Likes

Acting out usually comes from anger, wich is often secondary either to pain or fear.

If you love her, you’ll want to know what is hurting her.
If you love him, you should love her; she’s a part of who he is.

16 is hard, have you tried to get her to talk? Maybe therapy?

6 Likes

None of that sounds out of control to me :person_shrugging:
The fact you mentioned she listened to music with cuss words makes me think your expecting something outta her your just never going to get. That right there gives off some very very controlling and unreasonable vibes.

15 Likes

Back to her mother she goes

I read this article and thought it’s not for everyone but it sounds like it’s for you…let her dad and mom handle their child and stay out of it. She’s almost of age so she’s not looking for another parent. I’m sure it’s also clear to her how burdened you feel by her and the resentment. Especially when you compare yourself more favorably to her mother in the same breath you say you want to send her over there. Save yourself the anger and leave it all to them. Only interact with her positively or not at all. Stepparents: Not Your Kids, Not Your Responsibility? - The Atlantic

2 Likes

Maybe try hugging her telling her no matter what you’ll always be there for her if she feels some type of way and listen to what she has to say

1 Like

Typical teenager. Yours are not that age yet… are you going to send them away with their other parent when things don’t go your way? Being a parent is hard. You don’t just get to dispose of them so you don’t have to deal with the problem. It’s called being a parent.

5 Likes

boarding school, a strict one

what Julia said but I think she needs very strict enforced guidelines for acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

1 Like

My parents got rid of me at 16 and I wasnt really that bad, I didnt steal or swear at them, I tried to be good for them but coming home from a horrible day at school every day to being snipped at and reamed out for everything the minute ur home from the way you are dressed or the way you incorrectly loaded the dishwasher the night before and just never getting anything right makes it hard to be happy and nice, I was so depressed and upset all the time, they shut the door behind me and never looked back, and I still havent gotten over it at 33, no one reached out to ask if I was ok or needed help or even a damn hug. They just didnt care about me. I could never dismiss my child to fend for themselves in the world at 16… 20-25 maybe, but id still be an option for them.
You gotta try and relate to the child. Spend time with them

This is normal at her age, best thing to do is let her do as she wishes for a few weeks without saying anything and she’ll probably realise it’s not so fun when your parents don’t care! But we were all her age and I was a right dipsh*t at her age, even moved out at 16, just let her eff up enough to want to change, that’s how I started behaving!

3 Likes

16? Yup, that’s normal.

Good Luck :four_leaf_clover:

Sounds like a normal teenager. Try putting yourself in her shoes. It must be very difficult adjusting to a new parent.

Being the rebellious step daughter when I was younger and abandoned because of my step mother not wanting me around my younger siblings … I say focus more on being a friend to her. I no longer have a relationship with my step mother or father and it breaks me since that very day as I now have children of my own. She’s going through a lot of emotions and figuring out herself as a person ! Don’t leave her side , be there for her … this is a phase and I hope you take this advice for the sake of your relationship as a whole family :heart: sending love and light to all of you !

7 Likes

She’s testing to see how far she can push you guys… of course she’ll be nice to the mother who isn’t there all the time… pick your battles… draw your line and stand with it… but also like you said you wasn’t there to raise her so she is different… relax alittle she’s 16 girls are trying to find who they are… two years she’s 18 and out if you raised your kids right they know right from wrong… just try to show her the best you can… yes it’s not wrong for wanting her to leave I’m sure you get frustrated but it is wrong to tell her or your husband… vent to a friend…Maybe some that are having same issues with their child but don’t make her feel unwanted or your husband feel he has to choose between you and his daughter! Good luck and just show her love she’ll remember that when she’s older and thank you for it!

3 Likes

This is called parenting… Wow it’s hard? Who would have thought… But ya know just give up on her ship her off to her moms. That definitely reinforces the idea that she’s loved unconditionally. Smh

2 Likes

Family counseling. Don’t abandon her when she clearly needs guidance.

To be honest she sounds like a pretty tame teenager :woman_shrugging:t3: you can’t control kids into your ideals. The more you push, the more you tell her “your wrong and my way is the only right way” her (and probably your other kids in the near future) will push back. All you can do is accept them and love them for who they are and what they are becoming. Guide them and show them how to have a good life, but don’t treat them like they are wrong for wanting to love differently then you. Tell her “please listen to your music with your headphones around your siblings” “vape outside only” etc. From a kid who was controlled her whole life, let her learn who she is on her own, but safely with parents who will always love her.

5 Likes

She’s 16…not much you can do besides locking her up in the basement

2 Likes

Sounds like normal teenager behavior your children aren’t at that age yet but they will be and what will you do than send them away I don’t think that’s the answer at all …Try not being so judgemental kids listen to music and do dumb crap at that age we can guide them but when we try to control them it’s not good it never works try thinking about growing uo jn today’s times and giver her a break they need to make mistakes at this age and we need to let them learn

2 Likes

WOW! And she still has her phone and her privileges?? Nope not ever. Be the parents and let it be known it’s your way or she can go back to being Mamas problem

2 Likes

Maybe you should send your kids to live with their dad if they are following in her footsteps :woman_facepalming: She probably feels like you treat her differently than your own (I’m assuming you do by the way you speak of them compared to her). Maybe try loving her a bit more, being there and reassuring her you aren’t going anywhere.

My oldest two were from a previous marriage and my husband adopted them. We went on to have two more kids. No matter how hard it got with my oldest, my husband loved him through it. It took more than a few years but now he’s 19 and they have a good relationship. You don’t just ship off a kid bc they are acting out/being a typical rebellious teenager.

8 Likes

Every child is different so every child goes through puberty differently. Stop fighting with her but set limits as to where or how she does things. Almost all kids outgrow outgrow this stage and if you don’t turn it into a war she will most likely become a friend when she is a few years older and understands why you are setting limits now.

1 Like

Typical 16 year old. You gonna get rid of your kids when they hit that stage?

5 Likes

Take her electronics away. Easy peazy.

1 Like

Sounds like a pretty normal teenager. I’d like to remind you that you only have two years experience dealing with teens. And they change A LOT from 12/13/14 and 16/17. You’re kids are their own people and experience outside occurrences,I would assume. They are becoming young adults and make their own trouble. It’s not her fault. Would it be on the table to send your kids to live with their father should they become to “troublesome”? Deal with it and become a better parent. You are probably on her ass constantly.

Jesus how old are you? I can see why she doesn’t like you. :joy: you sound awful and controlling. Sounds 100% like a normal teenager. If you can’t handle one how are you going to handle you 2 however many you have yourself. Send them off too when you don’t like something? I wonder what the your kids think :rofl:

9 Likes

First the sweet sixteens… Oh boy get ready for the roller coaster… you got personality confusion hormones rising . Mad at the world. Hmmmmm let daddy handle it long as she respects your home and other siblings. Let her and her father know ( tell them together) if her actions continues…she out

She probably acting out to get her real mom attention so let move to real house

1 Like

Take a trip to a Juvenile Detention Center and let her see where she is going to wind up if she keeps acting like she is.

2 Likes

If you don’t have any feelings for her please leave . Don’t be that woman . I had a step mother kinda like you who thought her kids were the “ golden kids “ and turned my father against me at chance she could . It got to the point I ran away at 14 and had no choice of selling myself to survive. To this day I resent my father over everything . I felt very unwanted. Also from what I read just because you were raised a certain way , doesn’t mean she was. That also doesn’t mean your way is the right way either . She was there LONG before you . How can you expect this guy to even care for your kids if you don’t care for his .
I pray he opens his eyes and tells you to pound pavement.

7 Likes

Only question I have here is, Why is YOUR way better???

5 Likes

She’s 16, this is typical behavior. Stop trying to change who she is by trying to tell her what kind of music she can listen too, that’s not your choice to make. And I don’t understand why she’s allowed to have a phone or internet access at all if she’s grounded. If your kids are following her example then you are not in control or your own kids as you think you are. If shipping her off to her moms when things get difficult is your answer then your not doing a good job of being supportive and guiding her to the right path. I actually feel sorry for her. It sounds miserable living with you.

10 Likes

This is NOT normal behavior of a teenager, hormones, etc. This is a disturbed CHILD that needs therapy from something. She evidently has anger and authority issues. Get her into therapy and then you and your husband and possibly her mother should join poin a family therapy basis. You can’t ALLOW this type of behavior. Sending her back, is a choice, however, you do not want her to feel broken even more. All of the parents need to br on the same page so she may not control the situation. Counseling, plan of action for consequences and FOLLOW THROUGH WITH CONSISTENCY. She’s obviously making her own choices for behavior but is up to the parents to insure she realizes there are consequences to bad choices.

4 Likes

When you marry someone with kids, their children become yours. Would you just send your own kids away for the same reasons? If the answer is no then you shouldn’t have gotten with her dad :woman_shrugging:t2: she’s being a normal teenager maybe stop being so judgmental and she could learn to trust you

3 Likes

You’ve got to look out for your kids. You say you haven’t been the ones to raise her and now she’s at your house full time, and your kids are following in her footsteps.
I say if you and your husband have truly done everything that you can- and it sounds like you have-you don’t have any other choice but to send her back to her Mom’s home. Make sure you offer weekends or whatever works best for you and her father to maintain contact. She still needs that contact with her dad, but I don’t see any reason why she needs to create chaos in your home 24/7.

3 Likes

She’s 16…and you sound like a judgmental cu#t.

8 Likes

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: I am laughing because that is pretty normal behaviour for a teen. When yours become of age and act out where are you going to send them? :roll_eyes:

7 Likes

My personal opinion-if you force her to her mom’s, you’re throwing in the towel. You don’t give up on kids. Teenagers are rebellious. Maybe yours have been perfect angels but many are not. They rebel and act out for one reason or another. As a parent your job is to do your best to guide her and love her and not give up on a 16 year old.
I’m also curious (and this could be part of the issue) you say you’ve done more for her than her own mother and she’s living with you guys? Did it ever cross your mind that if her mom is a deadbeat that perhaps it’s hard and there’s jealousy from her seeing her step siblings have the love and affection from their mom that she didn’t get from hers? How long have you and her dad been together and do you share any kids together? Was their ever a good relationship or was she a rebellious teen already?
Do what you will but I think at the end of the day if you force her out and give up on her, you and your husband will come to regret it.

5 Likes

Whats the situation with her mom? She can probably tell and feel she isnt wanted in your home. Which i could only imagine how crappy that feeling is to her. Which could be contributing to the mishaving.

5 Likes

Make sure to remember she’s a PERSON before she’s a “project to fix”. From how you’re talking about her, I’d say you don’t like her very much. Her music taste, social media posts, upbringing etc doesn’t seem to be what’s really bothering you. Is there an underlying issue? I’d say you need to remember that you’ve just popped in, expected her to conform to your standards, then come on a social media platform & slagged her off anonymously. Odd behavior for someone who is in a romantic relationship with her father, you should love her as much too.

7 Likes

Why send her to her mom? It’s also her dads responsibility not just moms. Would you be ok if ur husband felt like you needed to send ur kids to their dad if they are acting out

Also sounds like you have not tried to understand where she coming from and why she acting like that.

9 Likes

That’s pretty normal for teenagers. Have her listen to her music with headphones & vape outside. Kids normally lie when parents are too strict. Your kids are gonna be that age soon enough. Try to be understanding. 16 is a tough age for teenagers. I imagine it’s even harder when your parents don’t want you. Love changes a lot of behavior. Try to show her more of it

6 Likes

You keep saying she blames.other people for stuff but isn’t that exactly what YOU are doing right now?
YOUR kids not listening to you would be YOUR fault for not teaching them better right?

6 Likes

Would you send yours away? I feel like you’re not trying to but you’re treating her different than you would your own. Honestly when my bonus son turns 16 if he rolls his eyes he’s getting popped on the head just like my blood will. Groundings. Even if mom isn’t helping or uniting. Hold your ground at your house. She WILL appreciate it when she’s older. She WILL respect you. But treat her as the daughter who be acting out. Not the house guest who needs to go home. . . .

3 Likes

So when one of YOUR kids start “acting” up in a way u don’t like ur just gunna give up to the next person. She’s a teenager they r learning to build their own paths. She’s gunna make mistakes and she’s gunna learn from them. She’s gunna try things weather or not u like it and the more u breathe down her neck the more your pushing her away and do things behind ur back. Take a step back a bit let her find her self. Sit down n calmly talk about vaping and the dangers , if you don’t support weed then talk about that as well…… stop judging everything she does try listening to her music have a little dance party tell her to turn it up who cares about the curse words they r jus words humans made them bad jus let ur hair down n live a little with this kid. She needs direction love and stability…. All teenagers r on Tiktok or Snapchat , learn on of the dances and do it with her ! Your pushing her away and that will be something you can’t fix if u don’t start now

10 Likes

Your responsibility is for your kids first. Let her go to moms.

6 Likes

Send to moms ASAP kids learn what they live protect Your kids

3 Likes

Her behavior is definately not normal. I totally understand your frustration. But you should not give up. She needs help. Never give up on a child

3 Likes

Lmfao jfc if you were my stepmom I’d be acting the same way, fuck’s sake

Whip her ass she gets no phone no TV nothing. She needs to learn to respect her parents

All of this sound like normal teenage girl behavior :tired_face:

I find most of these post are kids just being normal and parents not knowing how to deal with their child BEING THERE OWN PERSON

3 Likes

Your kids haven’t reached this age yet so ofc they don’t have the same behaviors… you keep saying the younger kids are following her lead and while yes she should set a better example it’s also on them to make better choices, she’s not forcing them they are choosing so some of this blame is on them also not just her… I’m a mom and a stepmom so I totally understand the frustrations of kids being raised differently then expecting them all to fall into a blended family but here’s the worst thing I took from this post… she’s being a rebellious teen and u want to send her away? You want to throw yours hands up and be done with her? Now ask yourself if your 14 yr old starts acting out in 2 years are you gonna send them away? Are you gonna be done with them? Or is it just the kid that’s not biologically yours that your ready to give up on?

5 Likes

So many people here are judging this mom for wanting to send her away as if her own dad isn’t also on board with this. They’ve tried everything. Let’s be more understanding. What about a scared straight tactic like getting the cops involved. mJ isn’t legal at 16.

5 Likes

I would move her back to her mom’s and that behavior when you have younger kids and it shouldn’t be allowed. Those who are saying you a judgemental (cun) wow that’s why they’re is too many Karen’s kids and adults who think they’re entitled!!! Send her packing to her mom’s if she starts to behave then try a weekend!!!

2 Likes

Girl she’s is a teenager! My teenage daughters all act like that.

Take her phone for a couple months see how her behavior flips around lol

1 Like

What an awesome example for her and the other little ones, do what your told or you’ll be sent away
Hard to wonder why your struggling with her

3 Likes

Sounds like a teenager? Especially with separated parents, they’re likely to act out. Maybe she WANTS to be with mom? It honestly sounds more like you’re trying to change her to what you want, rather than helping her. You need to try to understand her side and WHY she’s doing these things before you can attempt to “correct” her behavior.

9 Likes

Honestly she’s almost an adult and if your husband, her dad, isn’t going to discipline her then let it go. Teach YOUR children that what she is doing is disrespectful and disobedient and they aren’t to act that way. She’ll learn a hard lesson in the real world. Tough love and let her fall.

1 Like

If this was your child doing all of this what would you do?

3 Likes

I’d let her go back to her moms since she probably learned that behavior from her. She will probably never respect you. Not every teenager will give a shit they will literally torture your life until you’re miserable. I think a better option would be, send her to her mom‘s to teach her she can’t and won’t get away with everything. I think the father has done his part and really tried to help his daughter but if his daughter wants to disrespect him every day and not care about his feelings then it’s time for her to grow up and learn how the world works

This is NOT normal behavior. Sorry but I have 5 siblings and none of us acted this way as a teenager. Its all in how you raise your children and how you discipline them. Discipline is NOT abuse.

2 Likes

Welcome to the wonderful age of 16 :grimacing: I really don’t have any advice

One of the biggest things in my household is ACCOUNTABILITY like I tell my daughter all the time IDC who is doing what if I don’t approve YOU will answer to me for YOUR actions, period!

1 Like

Nope. I’d be taking everything away. She’d only have a bed and a few outfits that I CHOSE for her to wear and that door would be gone. She wants to change her attitude and be respectful then she can earn her things back.

2 Likes

Imo it’s normal teen behavior. Are you going to send your children away as well when they don’t listen and behave? Learn to parent without blaming her for every little thing, bond with her, and stop trying to pawn it off on the mother because she was raised differently lmfao because she lives with you all now and her daddy is also in charge of RAISING HER :woman_shrugging:t3::rofl:

4 Likes

Emancipation? I would tell her to shape up or ship out! No excuse for this behavior! I had 2 teens and they didn’t act like this! I would not put up with it! Whoever pays the bills gets to call the shots!

2 Likes

Sounds like a usual 16yr old

1 Like

You seem to think your way is the only way. Stop trying to force her to conform to you and support her and who she is. She doesn’t have to listen to your music. She doesn’t have to like what the other kids like.

The dangerous or illegal stuff, don’t tolerate. But the rest, let her be an individual. Honestly, who friggen cares if a teen rolls her eyes. Pick your battles. That’s not one of them. If you really feel she’s on a bad path, why would y’all send her away? To complain she isn’t being raised right?

10 Likes

Having a raunchy attitude because someone is being themselves and have their own personality is a bad look

2 Likes

Have you tried CONNECTING with her where she is? Not criticizing her every breath?

6 Likes