I am terrified to give birth: Advice?

This is probably going to sound silly, but for the first time, I’m going to give birth in December (I’m 31). I am absolutely terrified to the point it’s causing me to panic a fair bit, and I keep going back and forth about what I should do (c section [I have a few health problems that would mean this is a possibility], water birth, natural birth epidural, etc.). I’m so frightened of being torn, I’m terrified of how painful it’s going to be, I’m worried my V won’t go back to normal afterward, and I’m worried something bad is going to happen during it. Please can I have some words of comfort or personal experiences with different births so I can get an idea of what to expect? I know some of you might roll your eyes, but I have one of those personalities that worry about everything. I want this baby so much, and when I found out I was pregnant, my world felt complete. I’m just bricking it because when I come to meet her, it’s going to be bloody traumatic and painful.


It’s really not that bad…as long as everything goes smoothly ( it normally does) it will be a great experience. It’s not like tv where the woman is screaming bloody murder. It’s a great experience and if could do my 2 births over again I’d do it tomorrow! Worst part is after giving birth. When your stomach contracts while your uterus is shrinking. That’s really it.
Calm down. It will be OK.

My first one I was induced and in labor for 16 hours. I got an epidural so didn’t feel anything . Pushed for 10 minutes once it was time.
2nd time I worked all day on my feet. Labor started at 10am. Got home around midnight . Got in the bath. Left for the hospital at 4am ( drove myself) then had him at 7am. Contractions suck, but epidural helps and I would suggest it. Just so you can enjoy the birth. I literally took photos and talked the entire time I pushed my son out …,my doctor asked if I had a lot of kids because of how easy I pushed him out.
Go into it relaxed and enjoy it. It’s a wonderful experience.

Hey sweet momma! First I want to say congratulations on your baby!! It’s so exciting! And second, giving birth is very terrifying yes, BUT it’s only scary for a minute and then it gets so much better once you have your baby on your chest. I was scared for all my births and I have 4 kids. It is perfectly normal. You can and will get through it! Your V will eventually go back to normal once your body is done healing from giving birth… it just takes some time. You may or may not tear… it honestly depends on the person… out of my 4 I only tore once and needed stitches… it’s really not that bad and once it’s over you forget about all that pain and fear. Hope this helps! Good luck and congrats again!

  1. If you can’t water birth, try to at least stay in the tub during contractions, the warm water will help.

  2. Don’t worry too much about tearing. The physical relief of the baby just being our will over shadow it.

  3. Trust your body.

  4. Try not to worry yourself to death.

I worked myself up and honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I had my baby in April 2020. Hospitals were on lock down and I could only have 1 person. I desperately wanted my mom and sister to be there for me but could only have my husband. My kid took 3 hrs and 18 min total. I woke up to slight cramping, sat in the bath for an hour timing contractions. Called the hospital, they said wait another hour to come in. I woke up my husband, got stuff in the car, and made the 30 min drive to the hospital. By the time the doc even checked me I was fully dilated. They moved me to a room and my kid came flying out. I didn’t get any meds and no one even had gloves on. I wanted all the meds and didn’t get them, but still came out the other side ok. If you want meds, great, if u can’t get them, they’ll shoot you up with Fentinol afterwards.

I’ve had three natural births, and the more baby’s I had the more terrified I would get but i panicked so much that there really wasent any need. My first labour was 6 hours, my second was 2 and I was induced on my third but had pessary taken out due to going into labour myself in the end. Pain relief I had was just gas and air. Our body’s are amazing in what we can do! The tearing of the vagina won’t really affect you as the giving birth kind of over-rides it. Just be mindful that there are loads of options for pain relief! You can have whatever you feel like you need. I’m sure you will be amazing. It’s the most special time ever. As soon as you hold your baby in your arms the pain is completely forgotten about :slight_smile:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am terrified to give birth: Advice?

I personally had a very fast birthing experience with both of mine and had an Epidural. I had zero pain during. The after was not the greatest but at the same time I don’t remember much of it. I am an over thinker so I was terrified of the pain. I thought of so many bad outcomes and over thought how bad the pain would be. I can honestly say my thoughts were SO MUCH worse then it actually was. You will do great. Try not to panic because in that time none of it will matter

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It’s normal for almost every first time mom to have these thoughts. Sometimes we have these plans in mind and things don’t go as planned. Anything can happen at anytime. It’s best to have an open mind with it. The best advice I can give is ask for epifoam after birth (especially a vaginal one) it helps with the pain and comfort down there. Mesh panties are amazing! Rock em! The pain is very normal. Contractions hurt. Pushing is a pain, but when you see your baby you will forget the pain for a while. Ask for stool softeners. You’ll be backed up. Most of all. Good luck and enjoy every last minute of it!

Trigger warning! Believe me, when I had my first kid almost two years ago, I was scared out of my mind that something could possibly go wrong or it might hurt if the epidural wore off while I was in labor. My epidural didn’t wear off until the doc was stitching me because I tore a little bit up towards my urethra. After the epidural wore off, I’m not going to lie, but it hurt after it wore off especially when you have to go number two. It didn’t feel good at all. What helped me calm down is listen to calming music or learn a musical instrument. I already knew how to play the ukulele, so I picked it up and played until I was calm

See a therapist. Truly. The anxiety & stress isn’t healthy for you or the baby. :heart:
Talking to someone, even finding a mom group can help you.
Everybody’s birthing is different and that’s ok.
I had an epidural with no issues & had an emergency c-section a few hrs later. My 2nd was a scheduled surgery. Staying healthy & positive can really help so I also advise pregnancy yoga or Tai Chi.
You can do this momma. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Drink some water and relax dear, stop worrying, you’ll cause more harm than good by panicking.
Giving birth is a beautiful thing.
You’ll do great


:heart::heart: I feel for you momma! I am a worrier and worry about everything 24/7 I was petrified of birth but trust me it all falls into place and what’s meant to happen will happen! In the moment you will feel like you can’t do it but you’ll push through and in the moment you will know whether to get an epidural or not! My first right in the middle I said “I can’t do this” but I did it and then did it again 3 years later :joy: what you’re feeling is 100% normal!!! You got this momma! Praying for you and the little one!! The worrying doesn’t stop when they’re born either It just gets worse :rofl:

I always was afraid too… I waited till I was 36… Just know you’re stronger than you think and everything’s going to be alright

I finally felt so relieved in labor like this is it, I’m done soon!!! I was in a hospital and just felt like they would take care of me no matter what and that helped calmed my nerves a little. I was just like you , absolutely terrified. Be open with your nurses. Tell them. They will show you such compassion!!! I personally got an epidural and it was the best decision ever for me. It made my labor pain free until the pushing part. Your V will be fine!!!

Make sure you express every concern to your dr.

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It will b painful because of contractions, the birthing part won’t b as bad as u think, trust me when I say contractions r the worst, get the epidural! I was told its the worst pain u will ever forget

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At our hospital they offered a parenting class before giving birth that you and your spouse could do. Showing different techniques, what to expect, how to remain calm, etc… sounds like you could benefit from this and I’d highly recommend it !

Honestly I am the biggest baby when it comes to pain and I’ve done two natural births. The second one was a bit quick and I didn’t have time for an epidural but I survived, I’m ok and everything went back to normal etc. The point is, your body can handle it and you’re well looked after and look at the gain you’ll get!!

I did this when I had my first I was 16 years old and I freaked out alot about giving birth but it was even worse because I had preeclampsia u was having Hugh blood pressure so I went sent to stay at the hospital one night for them to collect my urine and test it to see and it came back that I had it so I had to be induced immediately I went into the worst panic of my life I was freaking out but once I realized that was it it was happening I just started focusing on my breathing trying to remain calm and I ended up getting the epidural because it was getting to be to much for me ( every mamma is different and handled there pain differently :heart:) but I would just try to breath and just keep reminding your self you are amazing and you are bringing your bundle of joy into this world and you are a warrior mamma :heart: but one thing I was not expecting and I did have was labor in my back I had all my contractions in my back it was horrible but I had support rubbing on my back and stuff so that helped alot.

1st baby I was in labor for 39 hours and yip it absolutely killed me :joy: I felt like ripping my face off and stabbing myself in the leg 50 times Lmao :rofl: and once she was here Omg felt like they sewed my whole arse up LMAO i couldn’t walk for a week and i swore i would never ever do that again, well guess what Lol
NEK MINIT LMAO :rofl: :joy:

First baby I didn’t have time to worry because they came out 7 weeks early with 3 hour labor. 2nd baby I had all the worries because I knew what could go wrong. I think its normal to have all those thoughts and once you are in labor and pushing, the only thought is get this baby out of me!

Relax!! Your body was built to do this and I would recommend getting the epidural bc guess what you don’t get a medal for going without pain meds. At the end what you want is your baby to arrive safely but you should be comfortable while you wait for his/her arrival. I’ll pray for a good labor and delivery… don’t forget You Got This :relieved:


Doesn’t sound silly at all!
Everyone is scared of the unknown and until you’ve done it, having a baby is terrifying.
I’ve had two, both vaginal and both had the epidural. That epidural is god sent. I didn’t feel a single thing except pressure, that’s when you know the baby is RIGHT there, like it’s coming out :rofl:
I tore a little with my first, but nothing that was just awful painful. The frida postpartum line is amazing. I really like the healing foam, the cooling liners, the angled Peri bottle and that dermoplast spray the hospital sends you home with (slight numbing spray)

Your vagina will go back to normal, if not be better than before :rofl:

My second baby, zero tearing and I was wearing denim shorts two days later and went on a 3 hr car ride :crazy_face: I was perfectly fine!

If anything, I think child birth is a breeze but it’s your milk coming in that nobody talks about :flushed: that shit HURTS. your titties will be in your throat and feel like rocks. I always dry my milk up as quick as possible but if you want to breastfeed, know it’s a journey and I wish you the best! :heartpulse:

Once they put that baby in your arms you will forget it all. You are made for this momma

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I am a worrier about everything also. I made a post here before she was born about the same thing and some asshole had the audacity to tell me “then you shouldn’t of gotten pregnant” like super rude. Anyway it’s ok to worry especially if it’s your first time. Totally normal. All the pain will be worth it once that gorgeous baby is in your arms. If it’s a natural birth and you need an epidural don’t make anyway make you feel bad about it. I did and I was actually able to sleep after because I felt relief

I felt the EXACT same way! Your V will def go back to normal just take awhile. I fully opted for getting en epidural. The cliche thing of “once the baby is here it’s all worth it” isn’t just a cliche. I was in labor for 32hours and 8 of it was drugged lol :joy: As soon as my little came out I could feel my big tummy deflate almost and it was like the biggest relief I’d ever felt in my entire life, and once I held my little I complete forgot about everything until a few days later when I thought about the whole process. Look into the different birthing options. Take a few deep breaths. Everything will work out just fine.

Let your body guide you…it was the best experience of my life and had 4 beautiful, crazy kids :heart: and sex life is even better!

I had 3 all natural and water birth was easiest. The most important thing you need to remember is to relax and not be afraid cuz your body will tense up which will tell your body you aren’t in a safe place to give birth which will make your labor longer.

I was super scared too. Every birth is different. I would recommend an epidural and don’t wait until your pain is too much (like a 5—7 on the pain scale). When the time comes the only thing you’ll think about it getting them in your arms. Pray.

You’re going to be just fine! When the time comes, you will need to focus and breathe. I was torn but my body went back to normal. She was such a miracle, the pain faded into my love for her. You got this.

I was scared with that 1st one too. I was 18. When the pains got bad I remember asking the nurse if the pains ever stopped for a while, to sort of give you a breather. She somehow thought that was halerious…but managed to tell me NO…they don’t.

You are stronger than you think…practice breathing exercises…once it’s over you will hold your beautiful baby

I have had 5 babies. I was terrified of each birth. My first birth was the most traumatic where my baby almost died, he was blue when he came out and they couldn’t get him to breathe. I think that set the fear in me from that point on. But I think it is very normal to be terrified, you have no idea what’s going to happen. All the pain you’ll experience from birth, you will quickly forget about, not in a sense that you’ll actually forget but more like you’re relieved. I can tell you that a cesarian is far more painful than a vaginal as far as healing goes. But you’ll heal and your vagina will go back to normal, believe it or not.

It’s okay to experience anxiety over this but if you have preexisting health problems that mean you run the possibility of needing a c-section then I would just request to have a planned c-section so long as you don’t have a preference for how you want it. Giving birth can be incredibly stressful and there’s no wrong or right way to do it so if it is causing you this much anxiety, personally I would opt for a csection if I were you and I’m not just saying that. I’ve had one myself and they are not as terrible as everybody makes them out to be, they are definitely not easy but it may bring you some relief by going that route.

Epidural made mine a breeze. Contractions were terrible I was ready to kill. Then they gave me the epidural and the pain was totally gone. Seriously. I felt absolutely nothing. There can be some downside of course as there is with everything. I had some back pain from the site the epidural was in for 6 months but it was well worth it for me.

I was scared too. I think every women is because we really don’t know what to expect. It’s painful for damn sure but ask for an epidural or pain meds if you don’t want any pain at all. Nothing wrong with that. You may tear but it’s fine. It heals and you won’t even notice a difference. Good luck. You can do this!

I definitely wouldn’t consider a C-section unless absolutely necessary.

I have had 3 children and each time I got close I was also scared of labor even though I had done it before. Those are are normal fears. Please just know that it is normal and always stay open with communication with your doctor’s and do research on different birthing methods. It will all come together and you will come out on the other side with a beautiful baby!

By the time you get about a month away from your due date, you’re not gonna care and you’ll just wanna evict that baby.
Don’t make too definite of a plan for your birth to avoid disappointment. I was so set on a drug free birth and then I went into labor. I had an anterior placenta which caused back labor and I couldn’t deal. I changed my mind about the epidural before ever leaving the house. I was mad at myself for a bit because I felt like I gave in even though I would never think that regarding anyone but myself.

I felt this same way, either way the baby has got to come out. Go in to have him/her and the process will pretty much choose itself. Have some sort of a plan, but at the same time don’t feel defeated if it doesn’t go that way because it’s possible it won’t. Either way you got this and as soon as you see baby’s face everything you went through won’t matter! Good luck :four_leaf_clover: :heart:

A birth plan is likely to change. If it helps, a csection can be hard to recover from also and may not encounter changes with your V but you’ll have a fairly long scar to deal with. Most who give birth naturally seem to be up and going a lot quicker than a csection also. I had to have an unplanned emergency one. Your feelings are normal and valid, I had the same anxieties. It will be likely very intense, parts of it painful and scary and you’ll probably have something or another happen that you might of not expected so do lots of self talk before and during. I would recommend practicing meditation and self talk. There are guided meditations on this subject, Mindful Mama is a good one also. Also might look into visualisation techniques. They might help you if you decide to vaginally birth your baby. And again, self talk… This pain is temporary. My baby is the prize. I am able and designed to do this. I will listen to my body; and so forth. Any mother I’ve spoken to that birthed their child naturally said it was the most amazing feeling and experience when they finally came out and gabe you your baby. Lol.

I had my first at 23 and honestly it wasn’t that bad as everyone was telling me. I do however have somewhat of a high pain tolerance but I think I had more back pain. Back pain have you someone there with you have them apply pressure while rubbing your back where it hurts the most and it helps so much. I did a lot of walking the halls as well. But end in the end after two days in labor which part of I didn’t realize I was anyway I ended up having a C-section a little aggravating to get up moving around but after a couple of days it gets better. I do wish you all the best and hope for a easy safe delivery. Stay as calm as you can and relax as much as you can it helps. Good luck sweetie

I am also the type that is scared of everything, so I fully understand where you’re coming from.
First birth was in December. I requested a c section because I was scared and the request was denied. I was induced. I received an epidural that failed. I was given anti anxiety medication during labor. She was born, healthy, weighing 6-12oz. I didn’t tear but was cut, without permission. It’s better to tear naturally.
2nd birth was in November. I was actually slowly dying at the time from a gall bladder infection and had no idea. But that sent me into labor. No epidural. Delivered naturally. 5-4oz, and I didn’t tear. Gall bladder was removed during emergency surgery a month later.
3rd birth I was induced, no epidural. It was painful, but everything went fine. 5-9oz and no tears. Her finger nail did scratch me tho.
The chance of you dying during labor is very small. It’s rare in the US. I would definitely try to avoid a c section because that is surgery and it’s a hard recovery. I’ve had 3 abdominal surgeries, recovering from my 3rd now, and they suck.
Remember to breathe, find a point to focus on. Listen to music, dance if u feel up to it. Birth is an experience. It doesn’t have to be a bad one.

Honestly none of those words ever come to mind when I think about my childbirth expirience. I wanna tell you how my first baby went because I went into it with a positive mindset. Knowing that the only thing that even mattered was my baby was out and healthy and I was ok. I had contractions for hours, I showered and shaved and went about my day in barely any pain. I waited until they were 5 mins apart and set out to the hospital. I arrived and was 9cm dilated!! They gave me my epidural and an hour later I pushed out a 9 pound 1 oz 23.5 inch baby boy in 2 pushes! I didn’t need one stitch! Birth does not have to be scary and not everyone has a bad experience. You have to do it and the reward is the most amazing thing that will ever happen to your life.

With my first child I was terrified. I thought of literally every bad thing that could happen during birth. It’s painful but it’s more than worth it. I had the epidural with my oldest which I feel made it a lot longer specially cause I couldn’t feel to push. My second child I only took pain medicine to help with the contractions which did help ease the pain the pushing seemed a lot easier because I could feel it. It hurt but I was fine not to long after pushing her out. Good luck mama you got this. It’s perfectly normal to be nervous about labor

I have had 3 kids, my bodys not perfect. We all have fears, but know that your in the best care you can ever have. Good luck on your delivery & congrats!

As a mother with anxiety myself, I’m sure telling you worrying won’t change a thing won’t change your anxiety but it’s something I try to be mindful of. I required stitches after the birth of my first child but none of the others. The vagina is really an amazing thing, it’s MADE to give birth! & it snaps back eventually. Kegels are your friend before & after. There is no shame in an epidural. & you should expect some pain after birth but there are ways to alleviate it, the hospital will likely offer ice packs & witch hazel & I would just recommend following their discharge instructions to ensure you heal properly. Whichever route you choose, it’ll result in your beautiful baby that you’re going to love more than anything in the universe & it will alllll be worth it. You got this! :two_hearts:

Relax momma. Your body is made to do this. I’ve had 2 babies, my first at 31 and my second at 32. Once you have your baby in your arms, you forget about everything you just went through. You got this!

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i gave birth for the first time last year, (i was 18 & wasn’t allowed to have my mom in the room with me) I was so terrified. But the nurses were so kind to me and helpful, they made me feel okay! Along with my boyfriend, who was so supportive.
I had an epidural at 7cm. I’m telling you my personal experience was amazing. The epidural did not hurt me at all. I didn’t feel a single thing, after that i slept most of the time & just watched some tv waiting for my daughter to come. I ended up tearing, and i didn’t even know until the doctor told me! And then she stitched me up (first time having stitches) and i didn’t feel anything but a small painless poke.
it is a scary thing, but it’s what your body was made for! You got this :heart::heart:

Oh hunni ur not alone I promise you! The lead up to birth is terrifying watch all the birth videos you can go with the flow ur body knows what it’s doing
Fark the birth plan cause every birth is so different but no matter what as soon as you hold that beautiful baby, you have been growing, everything else goes away

Use Google…read…read…read. Talk to other mothers. The first child is almost always the scariest. Those doctors and nurses and midwifes know their jobs very well. Breathe and relax. And enjoy your journey.

When I was pregnant I was terrified that I was gonna have to have a csection. Then I ended up having to have one and I was scared of what could possibly happen during it. But everything went fine. Afterwards I felt silly for worrying so much

With my 2nd I had a scheduled c section. I was awake during it. Honestly it was not bad at all. I panicked right before because my 1st I had emergency and was put to sleep so knowing if be awake scared me. But honestly it was so so so much better then my 1st. The healing wasn’t no where close to being as painful. I walked as soon as the numbing meds wore off and I think that helped. Being awake and seeing the baby is the best and i didn’t feel anything during. They made sure before they started. The healing does take a little time and you don’t wanna over do it but the pain was tolerable thru the healing. You got this either way.

I was worried too from horror stories I had heard. When they came to take me to the delivery room I thought it was too soon because I hadn’t suffered yet. Had an old fashioned delivery and was out for awhile. No problem.

I felt the same exact way!!! I was so scared I just wanted her to stay in there forever!!! Labor was hard because it lasted soooo long for me 23 hrs but the birth it self ? Although of course there was pain and stuff it was nothing at all like what I imagined in my head. Most things in life aren’t. It’s the fear of things that really is the worst because in the moment it never feels like it does when your afraid of the things happening in the moment you just handle it as it comes. In my experience I did not tear which was cool (I also pushed when my body told me and not always when the nurse said unless I felt to push) and I did not let them cut me or use any forceps or whatever I did get epidural

Also I’m a mum of 3 my inbox is open 24/7 if you need a chat vent whatever I’m here ! You got this ! You can do this ! It will all be ok! :heart::heart::heart::heart::blush:

For your first baby it is a scary so it’s ok to feel that way but they will make you feel so much better when you get there just breath and try and relax and just know you are getting to meet the most precious thing in the world honestly it is the best feeling in the world once they lay your baby in your arms you will not worry about nothing but love that baby more than life itself . Good luck in delivery and just know to pray that’s very important God hears you I’d anyone can take your fears away God will …

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I had an interesting one. Before I say this please please please remember every womans birthing is different. Just because this is how mine happened does not mean yours will be the same.

I went into labor at 7 months. I was home and contractions started and they wouldn’t stop so I called my mom and she picked me up and drove me to the hospital where they hooked me up to an iv and put me on procardia, a drug used to help stop contractions. My childs dad was 9 hours away so I told him to be on stand by and if they didn’t stop he would need to get back stat as they were going to load me in an ambulance and send me to a big city hospital to deliver since he was a preemie and they didn’t have the right equipment to care for a preemie. So a few hours pass and still hard contractions so I told my sons dad he better head home. Just to be safe. Well before he got home my contractions quit thankfully and I got sent home. They put me on bedrest the rest of the pregnancy. Fast forward to my due date and still no baby, he wanted to be stubborn now. 3 days past my due date and I got up to pee one morning and there was mucusy blood so I woke my sons dad up and said we need to go to the hospital. Got there and my first water sack had broke. So they treated it like they both did and broke the second one. No turning back now. So they put me on an iv to get contractions to start. I wasn’t making much progress so they had me get on the bed on my hands and knees as my sons head was tilted hence why he wasn’t coming down. After that I started dilating slowly. They tried to insert the epidural several times and it didn’t work. I was in so much pain I told them to forget it id have him all natural. So needless to say 28 hours in labor I finally delivered a 9 pound 2.2 ounce 22 inch baby boy all natural. I did have to get stitches I had to be cut because his head was big.

All of that and I dont remember the pain at all anymore. At the time I didnt care how I just wanted him out. Babies are miracles. Dont stress about it, you may go in and it’ll be a breeze. I was scared beforehand but once I seen him every worry I had went away. You’ve got this. And use those nurses thats what they’re there for!!! I will add also, everything went back to normal a few weeks after his birth :slightly_smiling_face: Good luck! :heart:


I had 2 natural births. One at 33 and one at 39. You will be surrounded by a medical team with years of experience in delivering babies. For me it was knowing that the baby was coming out whether I liked it or not so I could either fight it or go with it that really helped me. Once I got in the zone (so to speak) I was fine. I expected it to be painfully from all the stories other mums told me but I don’t think it was to bad.

You’re gonna do great, momma! Your body was made for this. I have only had natural births and was the opposite, terrified by the thought of a c-sections. No matter what, speak to your doctor/midwife and express your concerns and they will likely be able to help you decide on the right birth plan for you. Practice meditation and deep breathing and try not to worry. Congrats on your pregnancy!

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I wouldn’t go for a c section unless absolutely necessary. It’s a major abdominal surgery , I’ve had 2. With my first I had soooooo many problems that I had a lot of difficulty healing. With my second , I felt GREAT only hours afterwards but had complications during surgery that were pretty terrifying. The healing still takes a lot longer. Just try to remind yourself that your body knows what it’s doing , and regardless of how you give birth , you’ll have a beautiful baby at the end of it & any difficulties you had during having your baby won’t compare to the feeling of seeing that baby for the first time.

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I had a c-section with my first and vaginal birth with my second. IF I had to do it again I would choose vaginal. C-section scared me so much and doctors just made it worse by strapping me down which cause me to shake and panic. With my second, I only partially tore and epidural numbed everything. Only downer was it hurt to sit for a while :sweat_smile: my advice is to stay calm and keep smiling or it’ll just make the experience worse and labour longer. Good luck! You totally got this! :muscle:

epidural either way , first was vaginal next 2 c section nothing to it

I had to have my first by emergency cesarean and honestly I think the recovery was easier than the ladies who gave birth naturally in my group.

I’m 32 and I’m 5 weeks I have 2 teenagers and I’m also terrified I get bad anxiety about the it but wat I do is try to think of something else keep my mind off it good luck

You can ADVOCATE and be firm , make sure your partner knows your wants as well. Tell your doc about your anxiety trust me it will help them. Tell them you want things explained and want choices . You got this!

I am also a worrier so I definitely know what and how you are feeling. This is absolutely normal momma. I went into labor on my own at 41+3, contractions were uncomfortable at first but nothing too bad. They did intensify and got to where they would stop me in my tracks. I stayed at 6cm for a good while so I got the epidural hoping it would help labor progress and it did, although that was way more painful than any contractions I was having. He was posterior, we were able to get him into position after some effort. I slept most of my labor and never had any complications. I felt the intense urge to push, I was shocked at how strong it was even though I had the epidural. Nurse checked me and his head was right there, had to literally run to get the Midwife. I was also scared of tearing but more scared of an episiotomy, which I thankfully didn’t need. I did tear, but it was a first degree and needed I think two or three stitches, was uncomfortable going to the bathroom for a bit but that’s about it. My Midwife asked me if I was prepared to push for hours, I told her I think so since I’ve slept almost all day. He came out in two pushes and was on my chest crying before I knew it. I was able to hold him for an hour before they weighed and measured. I never really had a birth plan and I’m glad I never set myself up for any specific expectations. Your V doesn’t get decimated, it bounces back really well, almost like nothing ever happened. Definitely don’t consider a Cesarean unless it is absolutely necessary. I’m pregnant with baby 2 and am nervous still. Once your baby is in your arms you forget about everything. Good luck momma, you can do this!

I’ve given birth twice. My first I had an epidural and my second was all natural no epidural and to be honest I am pregnant now and I would rather do it with no epidural it hurt less to me and its all on how you and your body handle pain I’m not gonna lie it does hurt but the contractions to me hurt worse than anything else. I also tore with both and its not as bad as you think.

It will be the most natural thing to give birth, I strongly suggest getting an epidural, but when the time comes, you and your body will know exactly what to do! Trust me when I say this!
Until then calm down and Trust your doctor, keep your stress level down and get ready for your life to change in the most positive way it ever will!!

So for me I think the contractions would the worse when pushing it was sort of a. Relief the ring of fire didn’t bother me much. But different for everyone. I had a epidural with my first but second I didn’t and I think I would do without again cause I didn’t even feel like I had just given birth with the second one. And everytime my ob did the check up she said it doesn’t even look like I had a baby. I got stitches but sex wasn’t painful after and she said usually when it does hurt they didn’t stitch you properly

I was the same way, I panicked for the entire 9 months but by the last week of pregnancy you are SO over it you will pray for labor I promise you. Our bodies are made for this, you got this!

This was sooo me my first i was 20 I was high risk cos of a bicornate uterus and blood clots I ended up getting so scared of labour at 36+5days had a panick attack ne t thing I was in full labour 24hours later I could push i had no drugs just done gas during labour I was pushing for 2hours and had2 have the pethdeine in my leg and a vontuse vacuume delivery it honestly scared me 4 life 24stitches later but soon as I seen him the pain n stress stopped n it was my healing time my second was 6vyears ago high risk again he was breach they tryed everything 2 turn him n it failed booked me a csection 4 next day that night i panicked again cos csection was booked for 7am next thing 40 minutes later I’m in a delivery suite n being rushed in an emergency csection it was so scary n rushed I never wanted drugs let alone the spinal block but has2 b done I signed us out as soon as I could walk as hospitals I cant stand my 3rd was 11months ago she was an elective csection it was so calm n relaxing hubby got2 video it all I came home again n healed

No matter what happens just know you brought a blessing into your life and will love you no matter how you gave birth. The experience in itself sounds and seems scary but the end result is still the same.

I have 5 soon will have my 6th and I’m still scared BUT I know that the moment he is in my arms my body is no longer my concerns as long as we are both healthy and happy ah the best feeling in the world.

I was in labor with my first for 53 hours (not to scare you!) I had the epidural and an episiotomy too. Through it all it hurt but damnit it was euphoric laying eyes on my baby. So much that I had a second one. This one was natural and I had 3rd degree tears and it took 15 hours from the time my water broke to the time I held my second born in my arms. I unfortunately lost a lot of blood during my births that I need iv meds to control the bleeding. It’s uncomfortable but it is so rewarding. My babies were born 9 pound babies. The recovery was super fast and easy and sex is better than ever even after having an episiotomy. Tearing naturally heals so much better and you hardly feel it when having contractions (at least for me). I know people who didn’t have labor pains until an hour before delivering. My friend had a cesarean at 31 years old and she did pretty damn good with healing. I guess what I mean to get at is all people handle it differently and you will experience pain but holding that baby in your arms takes it away so fast and recovery is easy. You got this :grin: and congratulations!

I was having panic attacks at 36 weeks because I decided to sit in on my sister’s birth while being super pregnant…not a good idea! Once I went into labor I calmed down and your body just knows what to do. It obviously hurts but you can do it! I had a C-section after pushing for 5hrs because he was 10lbs. You should try to have um vaginally. Everything goes back to normal :purple_heart: you will do great :purple_heart:

I was scared to death with all 3…lol…this is NORMAL! RELAX…your going to do just fine, and once you see that sweet face, its so worth every second!

Being scared is actually EXTREMELY normal! I would plan out your what ifs. So, for myself, I would like to do a natural birth with epidural, if something were to go wrong and its a life or death situation, I’d want a c section. I also have some health issues, so this is my game plan. We also got a high risk doctor involved as well to be sure that baby and I would both be safe. Good luck dear!

Oh honey. It doesnt matter how you get there. In the end, snuggling that sweet little baby at the end is worth every second of whatever it took to get you there. My advice, avoid a csection at all costs. The recovery is brutal. With my first, I had a minor 2nd degree tear. It wasn’t a big deal. The things you are worrying about aren’t much in your control when your sole focus is to push a baby out. In the delivery room, rely on your doctor and nurses. Ask questions! Throughout labor. This is what they do! If you dont know what something entails, ask! That helped put my mind at ease knowing what to expect. As far as epidural or no epidural, that is a choice. I get to be like Satan when I am in pain, so I opted to go that route, but everyone is different. What you’re afraid of is what you don’t know. I told myself, if anything is going to happen, let it happen at the hospital where all the doctors are there ready to jump in and fix it. You’ll do fine! Focus on what you can control and the end result. The rest is just details that 5 years from now, likely won’t matter.

Make a birth plan… Throw it out the window :joy:
… Leave your pride at the door on the way in and pick it up on the way back out.
… Close your eyes and rest between contractions
… Hydrate

And don’t be afraid to ask for pain relief when you need it.

You’ll do great. :relaxed:


Its gonna be okay. I know I haven’t gave birth but I have been in the room twice now. And both times, i assured my little mama that i know its scary but mamas are so strong, with the gift of giving life comes great strength. Just breath, you can do it


You don’t know it’s going to be traumatic. Your choosing to look at it like that. I was also terrified my entire pregnancy after I had a fetal demise 8 years ago.
I worried the entire time.
My water broke 2 months before I was due. My husband and lived in the hospital for two weeks. My son came earlier than planned. I was suppose to be induced.
By the time I got my epidural I was fully dilated.
Our son spent 6 weeks in the NICU.
But I believe in God. I believe everything happens for a reason.
Even tho my experience is traumatic for some
I got to meet my son 2 months early. I had a miserable pregnancy.
We got a chance to learn our son before we brought him home.
And during a pandemic it was comforting knowing he was safe.
Its all about perspective and how you chose to look at things. And I think at the age of 31 it’s time to change your perspective because everything your feeling now is nothing compared to having a new born.

Just look at things in a better way

For a 1st time momma it is normal to be scared!! I remember the night I gave birth to my oldest. I was nervous. I was 23 at the time. I did not do an epidural because I heard about to many side effects. I did have pain meds through my IV. I will never forget the truest words my friend told me. “Think of pushing as taking a giant poop. Only you can do it so push!!” For me, that thought made pushing easier. Trust us after the baby is born that pain will go away. Your vayjay will return to normal.
Don’t be embarrassed about anything. The doctors and nurses have seen and heard it all lol. Always breathe!!! Good luck mama!!

Too late to cry over spilled milk

I felt the same way ! The thought of giving birth scared the life out of me ! My dr said stop focusing on the birth you need to be calm, otherwise by the time you get into the delivery room you will be a wreck before it all even starts !
Yes its painful but think about youre beautiful baby at the end :heart:
You got this, women have been having babies for centuries :+1::ok_hand:
I had 3 natural births
When I was having my 3rd I wanted a caesarian to see how it felt lol, the doctor laughed and said ummm no youre baby will born naturally :+1::grin:


I told my Mom I was scared. She told me: it will be the worst pain you will have in your life. But when you hold that baby it all goes away. And I did it 2 times and it worked for me. Good luck.

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Stressing about it wont change anything. You’re going to have that baby one way or another either naturally or c section or epidernal no epidural. Your body knows what to do. You might leave with strech marks or wider hips perhaps even slightly bigger feet but you’ll also leave that hospital with a baby and I promise you that as soon as you see her none of that pain will matter it will all be worth it. Congratulations momma your life is about to be filled with a love so strong that nothing compares. I have been scared to give birth all 3 times I did it and I not only still feel beautiful I feel a respect and love for my body and how amazing and strong women are to be able to bring new life into the world. Sending positivity your way. You got this


For me what helped me during at 18 giving birth for the first time was breathing I breathed in the pain and breathed it out thinking of bringing in my beautiful baby boy also what help me get ready before was watching many different kinds of births on YouTube literally all kinds of births home births water births births in the hospital with multiples even though I had one and births in other countries all kinds that I could find I was terrified too but this helped so much and especially the breathing technique I’d take in the pain as I breathed in and let it out as I breathed out focusing on I was so much closer to meeting my baby that helped me with my birth but everyone’s different and every birth is different because with my daughter(at 21) I tried to focus on my breathing and stay quiet like I was with my boy but I had to be vocal about it I screamed breathing in and out and that helped me hers was a bit more difficult although because she had the umbilical cord wrapped around (she wasn’t breathing at first when she came out that how bad it was) it felt more tight and painful Idk the best way to describe that the doctors ended up telling me I had to calm down and stop being so loud because I was scaring other mothers but which I get but you do what you need to whether it’s getting loud or focusing on the pain and being quiet do what helps you but honestly watching the birthing videos helped me learn different techniques that I was able to use during it and what I was comfortable with to get me through it.

Believe in your body and the process. Tell yourself instead of a traumatic experience it will be a beautiful and memorable one. The pain is only temporary. Giving birth is the easy part. Raising a child is far harder. You got this.

all new mom to be are… i was an hulk pregnant with twin… ready to be a naturale birthing dino! moving to a new country… packed up at 6 months… and guess what … you don’t control nothing… kids born not in the new country … moved there… lived in the new country… but a total different one that i had an ambulance flight to take me to anothery to have c operation and had to stay there an month !!! yup i had the most weird story of a lifetime! but keep in mind… many had before you… you can’t control nothing… listen to your body and be omega alpha… beta! but stay calm whatever happens. birthing isn’t without pain… c section either. have good positive attitude. blessings is on the way

Education is the antidote to fear. Take a comprehensive childbirth education class and read everything you can.
Also work with a therapist and hyponotherapist to get your anxiety under control.
Nothing is as scary once you are well prepared and in control of your own mind, fears, and emotions.
If you put in the work, even though you may not be able to control everything that happens, you will be in control of how you respond to it. You can do it!

Fear of unknown is normal so if anyone rolls their eyes then they are just rude people.

I was exactly like you but I decided to take a deep breath and what ever will be will be, I chose to stay calm for my baby.

I had an epidural for both my labours and healed perfectly fine from a second degree tear.

You usually only hear and notice the worst just focus on holding your baby.

I would fear the lack of sleep and temper tantrums that are instore for you :rofl:

Haha congratulations

I have had 1 c section and 1 reg birth (but had to have an episiotomy for forceps)
The reg birth was way more pain obviously and for like ever lol over 20hrs hard labour. But the recovery was not bad at all even with a million stitches from the episiotomy.

The c section was so bad healing from. Its painful. 3 years later im still in pain. The first time they make you stand up after is a pain that is undescribable.

What i would suggest for you is immediately get the epidural. Your anxiety will disappear. You’ll be relaxed and able to get through it all pain free !
With my c section i only had to labour a few hours before being rushed into the OR and man that spinal took all the pain away from 1000000 to 0 !

You’ll be fine and so will your v girl :joy_cat::joy_cat: she’ll be better than ever i bet ! Its strange. Our body’s are amazing!!! Best wishes!

If you’re scared of the pain you can have an epidural. You won’t feel anything and you can rest and be calm. Birth doesn’t have to be exhausting and horrible. IF you do tear you won’t feel it and you’ll only feel a lil sore afterwards but you can walk and do everything as normal. You’ll be fine , just think happy thoughts :blush:

It’s normal to feel nervous about it. But remember us women are very strong! What helped me, I exercise throughout my whole pregnancy almost like if I was preparing for it. :sweat_smile: during labor I took deep breaths during contractions I would also not move at all, just sit still until it passed… as silly as it sounds but it helped me a lot with the pain I would just concentrate in my breathing. Eventually I had to get the epidural and after that I didn’t feel nothing at all. You will be fine just try not to overthink it too much you are bringing a beautiful baby into this world after you have your baby in your arms you’ll forget about all the pain you went through and it will all be worth it :heart: you got this momma!

I’m 33 and am due to give birth to my second son in December. I have a few health issues myself including epilepsy but I recommend natural birth. I gave birth naturally with my first son and only used gas for pain relief. Every birth is different but hopefully this gives you a bit of encouragement/hope

The best advice I ever got was to “let your mind go and let your body take over” listen to your body, she will tell you what to do. Trust your instincts above all else. :green_heart: you got this.

I feel ya on this one, i was a bit traumatized from my 1st, about to have my 2nd. What helps me is thinking how many ppl go through this, and a lot less capable ppl, and are fine . And theres no choice try not to think about it till your there in the moment and try go with it as theres no choice :grimacing:?

Worrying causes stress and your not supposed to be stressed during pregnancy…just relax go with the flow…I have had two kids naturally and it’s not that bad. Yes it’s scary at first but worrying does not help a darn thing …worrying only stresses u and the baby out…once u see her u won’t even remember the pain …I was fortunate with my two and only 5 hours of labor with both…I wish u and your baby well.congratulations

It’s really gonna be ok - if it were that bad , we women wouldn’t keep on having babies . Promise !