I am terrified to give birth: Advice?

Are u getting the epidural i would highly recommend it u wont feel a thing and if u do tell the nurse and she will numb u right up.and if u do tear its not gunna hurt after as bad as u think.i was nervous my first time too i thought the worst but it was ok i had 3 and would have another with meds tho lol

Epidurals are amazing!! I’ve had 4 healthy births, 2 with an epidural and 2 without. You feel nothing from the waist down. I highly recommend them. It allows you to relax and enjoy/participate in the birth so much more!

Dear nameless, birth happens daily on a large scale all around the world. Your fears are normal but your Doctor should have give you some support regarding the delivery. Have you spoken to him about it?

As a mom of 3 I just want to say everything you’re going through is completely normal. I felt that way each and everytime because you truly don’t know what will and can happen. As for whether or not to get a c-section that is something that should be talked over again with your doctor to see if it is medically the best option for you and baby. I wish you the very best with everything

Also noticing no one is answering your V going back to normal concerns - most people tell you it goes back to normal and everything is totally fine, because that’s what they need to believe and most men don’t want their heads bitten off for telling them it’s different. Truth is your v has a memory for a reason and it remembers expanding to that size to give birth so that it remembers what to do in the future and that memory never goes away. AKA once your super comfortable and in the middle of you know what, let’s just say you can definitely tell the difference between who’s pushed out a baby and who hasn’t. Same way you can tell who’s used to having a big D in them and who’s only ever had small Ds. The v changes / stretches that’s just the normal part of how women’s body’s work. In saying that lots of women and men aren’t really super in tune with their or others body’s so they possibly never notice :woman_shrugging:t3:

You have what you say. How about saying I’ll be alright. If other had successful births so will I.

Stay with your emotion of feeling complete, you have to take yourself and be more relaxed than stressed to have and easier delivery

Don’t feel silly! I have anxiety and worry about every last thing possible and I’m a new mommy of a baby 11 months old now, I was terrified. But your body knows what to do, we’re we’re meant to have babies and have a natural way of our brains making it easier :heart: you’ll be okay

If you even see my comment- i was terrified! I used to get anxiety growing up if i would really think about it and guess who has a handsome 2 month old?! I was able to do it with only nitrous too! Definitely recommend doing your research. Read Ina May’s midwife book. Toss your copy of “what to expect…” aside for reference but not Bible. Fill your “tool belt” it made me feel waaaaay more confident knowing i had so many options. I made essential oil blends for anxiety, stalled labor, pain management and one for my who-ha to help with tearing. I had a tens unit (didn’t need it) but also had a tub, which i did use! The was my lifesaver besides the nitrous lol breathing exercises and mantras help too. The best piece of advice i could give you to take away- IT’S ONLY TEMPORARY and each stage is shorter than the last one! Try to focus on this contraction, this moment. Don’t worry about anything else
I wish you luck! You’ll rock no matter how your day ends up. You’ll have a beautiful baby when you’re done and your life will never be the same!

Relax and enjoy the life miracle growing inside you. Go to birthing classes to learn how to breathe and relax. It cuts the time and discomfort level.

By the due date you won’t worry so much, u will be so unofortable you just want it to be over

Don’t stress about it, your body is made to do this and you will be fine.

Hey, you’re body is built for this - you can do it! Trust your body and strength.

I would highly recommend hypnobirthing to you and using positive affirmations. Also bouncing and rolling on an excersice ball, drinking raspberry leaf tea, meditation, lots of walking and gentle excersice. Try to move around and not avoid doing things as it’s good for the body to stay active and as normal as possible.

I found YouTube to be extremely helpful for finding information. I used this doula for hypnobirthing and affirmations. Look through the playlists on the channel, it has antenatal and post birth help. https://youtube.com/c/BridgetTeyler

What no one tells you is if you prepare you’re body and mind as much as possible, you’ll have a much better birth experience. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself because the midwives and doctors are there to help you with whatever you need for safety and pain relief (should you need it). Try to enjoy your pregnancy and relax as much as you can. Definitely get a massage if possible too! Good luck! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Go learn some yoga! Learn deep breathing! Learn to focus. Have your preferred calm, quiet music/sound machine on in the background. Start imagining how great your birth will be, you can make it so by believing it so. Go to birthing lessons, hire a doula for your preps and to be there with you.

Change those thoughts. Think about your baby. Wait until it happens and then make a decision.

It gave me peace to see every human on the planet and think about how they were all born from their mother. It’s a natural process that your body is prepared to handle. My best advice is to change your thought patterns from negative to positive… “everything is going to be perfect”. Also, concentrate on your baby being born safely, not on what that will do to you. Does it hurt? Yes. Is pain scary? No. You will get through it just like all the mothers before you. Also, the best option for the body is a natural birth. I would never ever prefer an operation, permanently altering your body over a natural birth that will likely leave no major changes to your anatomy. I gave birth naturally to two kids, very happy to have had that experience (no epidural or anything!!). The second they are out, it’s over. I even jumped up onto a bed after my first was born (people were amazed as I had just given birth). A C-section is way harder to recuperate from. Think positive and think only about a healthy delivery to a healthy baby, not about yourself. This baby will come above your own needs and desires for the next 18 years anyways, time to start thinking like a mommy.

Its a natural process for women to go through, so just go through it and enjoy that new baby.

Don’t be scared leave everything in god’s hand it’s miracle pray every day , it’s joyful at the end

it’s okay to be afraid, but you can trust your doctor to get things right

Following. I want to have a baby but the horror stories keep me up at night :scream:

Have a spinal block. You won’t feel a thing!!

Too late to be scared…birth control

Get him to pull out…

Read ,Dick Grantly Reid’s book on childbirth ,and do what it says marvellous !!

You will do great .Don’t worry about your body parts. Your baby is all worth it and more.Happy mother good.

Yes get the epidural

I went threw the same thing with my first son. But then my grandma said " no worries women have been having babies for thousands of years, and now you can go to a hospital. No worries" and idk why but it really helped. Idk if it was just bc grandma said it or how she said it but it really helped me. Best of luck to ya.

Try to have a natural birth at the hospital. That way if something is wrong, they are monitoring and can get you the immediate care that you might need. Relax…it will be ok. Help is there when you need it, if you need it. The first child is a bit scary because of the unknown. Cover all the bases and know that a beautiful little child is on it’s way. You’ve got this.

Ok, people are saying no to a csection, she said she has health issues remember, and yes to petocin, a dangerous labor inducing drug?? Now that seams a little backwards thinking.

Sweetheart - I had two kids, naturally. First was 8lbs 2oz, 21". Second was 8lbs, 5oz, 21". Both boys. Breathe. You can do this. I tore with both - it’s much better than being cut. It’s painful, but it’s not impossible to bear it. Your vagina will be fine. Don’t stress - it’s not good for the baby. Know and believe you will be ok.

You are too worried. Don’t be terrified when the time comes you will be in neutral. You will be okay

The more scared you are the more it will hurt. Try some relaxing just think about the baby my first took 12 hrs my second was born in the hall 10 minutes after I arrived at the hospital very little pain my daughter took 3 hours so just relax.

I remember seeing a newborn baby days before I was about to give birth and all I could say was it’s so big it’s so big… The mother of four including twins and I’ll tell you it’s very normal but you will gain a lot of strength and peace and calm if you can learn breathing…Lamaze… In reality that part we see in the movies lasts about an hour and the contractions come every minute so you divide that minute by shallow breathing 15 seconds pantings 15 seconds etc and you literally can do anything for a minute and remember as soon as that starts knowledge is power you are not likely to have more than have more than 60 of those… I did a home birth and a foreign country where they didn’t understand me but just that little bit of knowledge as to what was happening to me really helped… Nobody talks about this but the scary part isn’t contractions and labor it’s the nausea just awful nausea while you’re going through it… Information is power take some birthing classes do some exercises you’re in control of your birth it’s your body you’ll see you’ll feel a lot better knowing that no one’s doing anything to you but you’re managing your own labor…

Do the c section. That way nothing gets torn. You will be fine honey women have babies everyday. Mine was kinda traumatic and I won’t be doing it again. But I would do it all again for my son.

Honey bee. Child birth is a scary prospect and everyone is scared at the thought of pain and something going wrong. But, you are a strong woman, you have the power inside to do this. Deep down your body knows the way it should go and during this time we power through. You go this. Your brave and wonderful. Take it as it comes. Xx

I burst into tears I was so happy but so terrified…it’s painful but you do forget otherwise we would only have one…and strangely enough it’s a pain you can bear…and there are drugs to help…my advice is trust your body…don’t get too hung up on birth plans…go with the flow…if you need a C section do it…I have 3 sons…my first labour was long but each labour got shorter . Remember and this is important…there is an end…and what an end!! I have never felt so much love when I looked into their eyes

You should stay up late tonight and watch the movie Aliens. That oughta fix things!

Dont worry. Women have been having babies forever and you will be in a medical facility. And once its over… your a mom. Keep your eye on the prize

Yep but so worth it the first time u hold your baby. BTW there are changes but everything kind of pops back where it belongs. Good luck for a heathly :baby:

Seems somewhere along in your life someone told you some horror stories. Listen honey, women have been giving birth for forever. It’s the most natural and beautiful experience you will ever have. It’s ok to be scared, excited , nervous… we all were. And thanks that there are doctors that do nothing but delivery babies. My first was 36 hours. Second was about 3 hours.
One good advice a midwife from Lancaster co PA told me was… when you start to have a contraction, squat down… it opens up birth canal!! Good luck. And congratulations!!

There’s no shame in planning a c section if that’s what’s best for you and baby health wise. And that means mental health too.

I ate MRE’S for months during the war. The turds were so big after a while it hurt really bad and eventually split my AH. Cause and effect. MRE’S were all we had to eat. That tp in the mre is like john wayne paper too. The one good thing is not having to shiz when in mopp4. My advice USMC. U Signed the Mfin Contract…push through but next time swallow.

Everything you’re worrying about are perfectly normal worries. Take a deep breathe. The bad part is no one can really tell you what your birth experience will be like, because it’s different for all of us. If you trust your doctor you’ll be fine. Don’t be afraid to ask for an epidural, there’s no shame in that, there’s no shame in wanting or having to have a C-section. Everyone wants the same end result, a healthy happy baby and momma. So you bring that baby into the world the way you’re most comfortable with. And do those kegals, everything snaps back usually pretty good. Scars and stretch marks are battle scars and are to be worn with pride. You got this momma, anyway it happens.

I was only 19 when my first child was born, I understand your fright, I was terrified but fears subsided thanks to the delivering doctor, He was an old doctor and educated me… I suggest you watch movies available in the education department of every large hospital that accepts deliveries… and usually at the country health department, If you have to have a C-section as my youngest daughter did when her twins arrived early, that also is a safe delivery now, My daughter watched the surgery in mirrows and was awake during the process. She also had a normal delivery after the C-section… In 34 years of nursing, many of them as an O B nurse and assisting with many deliveries I have never seen a woman die from having a baby, Hope I have calmed your fears some… I had six born alive. If you just relax and know what to expect it is the most beautiful experience you will ever have and yes, there is pain but you quickly forget it when you see that baby. The key to a happy delivery is education and relaxation,.

Relax, childbirth is a natural function for all female species and with today’s technology you can’t go wrong. I have given birth to 4 babies from 8lbs. to 8 10oz. all natural birth at home with naturopath doctor and a midwife. My advice, relax, focus on what your body needs, follow and you will give birth. Congrts on your new baby. BTW, My body fully recovered and the excess weight was breast fed right off me lol

Go to prenatal classes

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I hope these comments give you comfort and hope.

Listen to the doctor you trust.

My mom told me , ‘You’re going in to have a baby. Do it!’

Raspberry leaf tea for the last 6weeks to stop tearing xxx

talk to your doctor.

Talk to your midwife! She can help ease your mind, don’t listen to other people’s birth stories as everyone experiences it differently. Look into natural calming methods like hypnotherapy, take antenatal classes if you can, not sure if they’re doing them atm as I haven’t been offered like I was with my last. The calmer you are the less stressful it will be, educated yourself but not with scary stories. It is a scary thing especially when you haven’t done it before but we’re made for this :muscle:

I had my first naturally. While it was in unremarkable birth, I am not one of the women who martyrs her body because “women have done this for ages”. I asked for a c section with my secondhand 3rd after some loss of muscle tone due to tearing with my first.

I would do the c section all over again. Some people call me a coward but labor and delivery are a personal and private thing. YOU decide what your comfortable with. No one else should decide for you.