Long story short. Please read and give advice. I’m 23, I’m pregnant and considering adoption. BD is 21, we’ve been together almost 3 years. We had a baby last year. I have a 6 year old from another relationship. 3 years ago, I dropped my 6yo off at parents house so I could go to a concert out of state, it had been paid for already. My daughter had a cold but was taking some cough meds for it, my parents took emergency custody so they could get her checked at Dr office, that was their excuse. Anyways, they got custody of my newest baby because I turned myself into jail on old Warren’s for a month, my boyfriend didn’t know how to take care of a baby all on his own because he has never done it before so my father promised him we could pick up the baby after I come home, my father lied. He kept my baby and the courts alowed it. It’s been a long hard expensive fight I’m on child support for two kids and I have fines that I pay from my past (I’m not as dumb as I was when I was 18)… I’m pregnant again, I miss my kids and want my kids bavk so bad. I have EVERYTHING for my new baby already I’m only 6 months along… another girl. I’m struggling in life tho, In depressed, I’m broke I’m not on government assistance. My parents are God awful over texts to me. I can’t afford a lawyer. I know if I wanted to keep thIs baby I could. No one could take her from me this time. But I’m so stressed I don’t know what to do. If my family found out I put baby up for adoption they would never let me see my other two kids again. But I just am worried having this baby will tear me apart on the inside considering I am watching my other two grow up from sidelines… on top of being broke what kid wants broke parents 
we have car and duplex to live in, I work as a server in a Cafe. Everyone tells me if I put this baby up for adoption that I could get help with paying off my fines and getting a lawyer to get my other two girls back. Everyone tells me I would be so much better off if I didn’t keep thus baby and that this babycould go to a better family which I know is totally true… I hate myself right now and don’t know what to do.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am thinking about putting my baby up for adoption: Advice?
Sounds like it would be best. You don’t have your life together and you at least recognize that. Follow your gut. You don’t need to bring children in that you can’t handle… It’s an act of love.
I think you need to focus on the two that you have already. It’s not fair to them to be raised by someone else but see you raise a seperate child. And after this baby, please for the love of god get on birth control, or get fixed , so this doesn’t happen again!
It’ll be a selfless act… but if you decide not to, there’s always a way, and I’m sure you’ll find it.
You need to give the baby up and get your life together. Work on getting your children back before you consider having more.
fight , never stop fighting for your babies
From a grandparents point of view. Be honest with your parents about this baby. But also sit down and talk. Express you want to get your other children back. I wish you luck in finding support from your family. Not a grandparents choice but it would break my heart if one was put up for adoption.
Sounds like you should give that baby to your parents, tie your tubes and fix yourself.
In my personal opinion after seeing everything that goes with this adoption may be the best option. Especially with your other daughter being in custody of your parents. How would it make her feel to see Mommy bring home a new baby but not bring her home. Adoption plz ma’am
Get your life together … jails fines assistance lost custody good lawd lady … I wouldn’t have let it get this far and would have asked myself this question before I was 3 mos from my due date and when there were more options available
Find a counselor. Get help. Speak to your doctor about your feelings.
Act of love… for the baby, your other kids and a family who can’t have kids.
It sounds like you don’t really want to give your baby up for adoption. You might be struggling now but that doesn’t mean you will struggle forever. I struggled hard as a single mom when I was 23 with my baby but now I’m in an excellent financial position, I worked my ass off for and 2 more babies who couldn’t want for anything. Things might be tough now but if you work your butt off it will get easier.
Keep fighting for your other kids never stop fighting!!. Keep your baby it will break you more if you dont . We are broke ass parents, trust me your child will not care that you have no money. All these kids need is food water and love…you love that baby already, you already lost 2 dont lose this one…if you can’t get your other kids back, them just be there for them. Never lie to them, never sugar coat ANYTHING you have done. As they grow up they will release how much you love them, be there for them.
It sounds like you already made up your mind about adoption if im being blunt never easy but it could be the best for the child to grown in a stable home with financially stable parents
Do what’s best for you. You can 100% keep this baby and eventually get your kids back. Just keep doing what your doing work hard and keep going.
Ever thought of protection
Get on birth control
If you’re gonna go for adoption, I feel it would be better to give her to u parents that way they will always be together and when you are ok your parents will let you back into their lives. Your parents aren’t mean just angry and maybe disappointed. Good luck on your journey.
You do whatever is best for you that’s what you do no one here can tell you what’s best for your family
The best thing for this baby is adoption it sounds like. And getting tubes tied so you can focus on YOU for your other kids.
Whatever you do,don’t stop fighting for your first babies.
Think about this more n until you can’t think no more this is such a huge decision! I honestly think if you give this one up it’s going to destroy you even more
I didn’t raise two of my oldest my daughters n I had my son n yes I feel terrible I am raising him but not them but he has made my heart heal n if wasn’t for him I don’t know where’d I’d be my son is my life he’s reason I breathe!
Good luck to you n don’t let negativity get to you! Nothing wrong with thinking about ur options
Fight for your living children.
I can’t tell you what to do about your pregnancy but is it really best to have another one?
Is it possible to have baby and give them to your parents so you can visit?
It’s time to get a lawyer a job and to fight for your kids. The pregnancy is going to be a hard situation no one wants to be in. But getting fixed sounds like a good idea it’s great to be fixed btw!
Stop having babies. You’re extremely immature still. Your parents have your kids for a reason. See if your parents can take this baby then clean up your act and work on yourself. Prove to your parents that you are growing and work with them to get your babies back. Right now you’re beyond selfish. Your entire post is about you and your wants. You need to realize that in order to turn your life around. Those babies didn’t ask to be born and they deserve their mother. Work on you.
An aspirin held firmly between the knees works too!
Keep your legs closed. The baby is better off with someone else. It’s very hard to prove a mother unfit and for your parents to get custody that’s what they had to do. You do not deserve another child.
You are not ready to be a mother , you should put yourself up for adoption as well …
Contact Saving Our Sisters
You have to do what you feel would be best. Take what your parents think or might do out of it. I am a mother and can’t imagine watching my kids grow up from the sideline but that being said, my boys are from my husband’s previous relationship and I’ve raised them since they were babies. The oldest boy isn’t biologically my husband’s but he was in his life since he was an infant and he couldn’t bear to leave him. His mother ended up not being able to care for him. He’s grown now, we raised him and I’m so glad we did and it was one of the most rewarding things ever. So just know there are plenty of people out there that will give your baby an amazing life and will treat them just like they are blood, if you decide to go the adoption route. You are the Mama. You make the decisions. Don’t forget that. I loved raising the boys so much (oldest now 14 and still here with our girl who is just turned 5) that we’ve discussed in depth the possibility of adopting another in the future. Reach out if you need to chat. You don’t have to be alone in this. Hugs to you Mama 
Then the third baby will wonder why they got adopted and the other siblings didn’t. It’s just not right. Find a way to take care of the baby or just give the new baby to your parents at least they will all be together and you can see them
Um get fixed why are u bringing kids into this world
Come on… she’s asking for advice… not to get nasty comments… I understand it both ways , but in the end it’s a baby… do what is best for that baby and her future…
Maybe consider not popping any more kids out…. Obviously you are not fit to take care of them or your family wouldn’t have been able to take custody. As far as this baby goes. Just give it to your parents and let him grow up with his siblings.
Why would anyone feel sorry for you? Keep your damn legs closed!!
You NEED to be on Birth Control !!!
Kids don’t care about broke parents, they want loving parents. That in no way means I’m judging you. That sneaky sign over custody thing happened to someone in my family…. That child is now grown and has a good relationship with his bio and she had 2 younger kids too.
You have to do what is best for YOU!! And if you put a baby up for adoption, that is NO ONE ELSE’s business. It’s not an easy decision and unfortunately it’s one only you can make.
Give the baby up and stop having kids
If you need a loving home for that precious baby, message me.
It’s you against the world at this point. You’re young & can still turn your life around. It definitely won’t be easy but if having your kids back, then bust your ass to do so. Get things done that need to be done & never stop fighting for your kids if that’s what you truly want. However, if you’re not at a good point in life they shouldn’t be uprooted from the stability they’re in now. If adoption is your plan just talk to your family. Let them know your plans
Fight for your kids ALL OF THEM!! never stop fighting for them!!
Open adoptions can be a beautiful thing. You can choose to know your child and get updates. My friend and her husband are an amazing couple and can’t have children. They are looking to adopt and have an open relationship. Explore it and see if it’s right for you. 
You poor girl, can you find someone to talk to, and see if there is any financial help available? You aren’t the first person to feel like this, and wont be the last. Please be kind to yourself !
It sounds like the best thing for you to do is adoption. And then get your 1st two kids back. I couldn’t imagine being one of those kids being raised by someone else and knowing you are having more kids and not getting them back.
She’s asking for advice not nasty comments
My advice? Please use birth control.
Wow so many judgmental and rude people in these comments! I’m going through an adoption when my baby is born in November. You’re welcome to message me without judgement if you’d like.
Watch Long lost family. Those adoptive kids are forever looking for their mother and feel rejected their whole lives. If you can keep the baby do it. If you can’t afford at all it then let someone who can , raise your baby.
Well, if you try keeping the baby in the family, theres a very good chance you’ll never hear from any of them again. Happened to us.
Some toxic comments here, it is not said why parents got custody, maybe get family counseling. You have to think of the welfare of new baby. If you do surrender for adoption maybe see if your parents can adopt and keep your family together. Think about birth control and do not consider getting pregnant again until you get your life on track
I agree with adoption. However, sounds like you need to be on birth control. Why would you allow yourself to get pregnant again? Also, your baby should have been left with his father, not your parents. You had time to teach him the things he needed to do prior to turning yourself in for the warrant. You also have knowledge from leaving your 6 year old with your parents and losing custody. I also do not believe your story about your parents getting custody because you went to a concert. There is more to your story. I don’t think you should ever have another child because you are irresponsible and broke. You need to grow up and keep your legs crossed if you are stupid enough not to be on birth control.
I think you’ve already made up your mind and just needed some reassurance on your choice. You know your situation. You know how difficult it would be for you to bring another child into this. Adoption would ensure your baby was going to a stable home, something you can’t provide and have been unable to provide to the other two, and don’t really see an end to.
It’s okay to focus on the kids you do have. Look for an open adoption that will allow you to keep in touch. Sometimes what’s truly best for a child is a choice we don’t like. You are being the best mother you can be by recognizing that this choice, doing what’s best for baby, means the baby may not be with you. It also keeps the baby away from your clearly unsupportive and toxic parents.
Everyone saying use birth control it’s kind of to late on that part. 
What does the babies dad want? You should decide together.
She asked for advice on what to do. She didn’t ask for your rude nasty comments about what she should do with her body. So stop telling her to get on bc or get fixed.
You should seek some help for counseling maybe adoption is the best option but honestly it’s all up to you do what’s best for u and those babies good luck mama
Maybe it is time to use birth control!!! Why separate this baby from her siblings? Let mom and dad raise her with the others. And stop having chikdren you can’t care for. Get your shit together and seek custody in 3/4 yesrs
If you want to keep your baby, do it! Life is hard but you will figure it out! Adoption is a beautiful thing as well. If you do choose adoption I’m in KY and we would love to give your precious girl a loving home 
l Get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $14341 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Don’t give up your baby. You can do this prove them all wrong this is your time to shine! Show how well you can look after this baby gives you more chance of getting your other two back! You only feel this way because you’ve constantly been torn down xxxxx
As a mother who lost custody of my two oldest kids back when I was a teenager to my ex husbands parents I completely get it, they still have them, I lost in court due to the fact they all fought against me and I had nothing. It’s not easy at all but it’s doable. Fight for those babies, don’t ever give up on them. I know it’s rough trust me I do but they need their mama. I was in your situation once before but I stuck it out when I had NOTHING and did it all on my own. Now I have three more beautiful kids with my fiance and own my own home and have the best life I could imagine and my kids are happy and healthy. If you need to talk I’m here. You can do it mama. You just gotta stay positive. Prayers 
Pray about your situation sweetie
Okay everyone in my opinion are not being helpful… it sounds like you WANT this baby as you have gotten everything for her. So keep your baby if you want her. Second, fight for your babies that your parents have. Make sure you have a stable job, a stable living situation, and go file for you guardianship back and get your babies back love NEVER STOP fighting for your babies
You really must think we were all born last night. Give your baby up for adoption and give it a better life than what you’ve stuck your other two with. You’re not telling the whole story and it’s obvious, because you’re telling of things that don’t happen.
Fight for your damn kids. Don’t leave them wondering why they weren’t enough!
First of all a woman should get custody of the children she already had and lost before bringing more children into the world. So not fair to the first child nor the second one. Time to get them tubes tied, cut and burned.
Don’t give the baby up.
Yall are too damn mean for no reason…stop kicking a person when they are already down. If you don’t have good sensible advice for this young lady then don’t say nothing at all.
I’ll adopt your baby if u need someone to take good care of your baby
See if your parents will take her so all three can be together. You may be watching from the sidelines but at least you can watch. Get yourself in a better place and work on a relationship with your kids and your parents. Best of luck!
Please keep your baby, dnt be ashamed of registering with social services for assistance with rent and food…
Please dont listen to the rude women on here. You need to talk to a non bias adoption agency (not a religious one) and get all your options. You got this.
You what’s best for you and your baby
Some of these comments are terrible. She is asking for honest helpful ideas or pros and cons possibly. Not shaming for having another child. I wish you the best of luck sweetie, however this is a hard choice and only you can make it. Do what’s best for the baby, not you. Keep that in mind and you’ll find the answers. Forget what everyone else tells you as well, get your life together. It can be done one day at time. You will get there!!! Your only 23 and it does get better. Your going through a lot right now but it sounds like you are thinking of your children more so than yourself. Good luck to you.
Wow people don’t hold anything back when it comes to advise 
I think you have to do what ever is best for you and your children. Sometimes adoption is best even tho it’s hard for you as the mother. You seem to have enough sense in your head that you can and will make the right decision. Being broke unfortunately is life at this moment in time but your doing your best. No one is perfect everyone has some sort of past and we’ve all been stupid teenagers before. But you’re learning. I say think on it maybe look into families but don’t settle on anything yet just look at your options and go from there.
Ask your parents if they want to take this one as well.
If they will then let them. That way your babys stay together and you will be able to see them and have them together.
I would see if your parents would take this baby too. Keep the kids together if you can. You have a better shot of being in their life if they are with your parents. It might not seem like it now, but this will be the case in the future. It sounds like your parents are frustrated with your life choices. Life is like a book, you can always write another chapter. You can change your life, noone else can. Start taking ownership of your wrongs. Stop blaming your parents for your mistakes. There is more to this story. The state just doesn’t allow someone to get emergency custody, because a kid needs to go to the doctor. You can make this situation better, but it will take some work.
Go on birth control first of all, secondly give that baby to a loving family who desperately wants a child and can properly care for it and raise it with good morals. Your life is a disaster and you’re only 23. Nothing a child should have to endure
Let me state stop having babies isn’t gonna be a useful statement at this point. But like many have stated below it’s best for the child to be adopted. Clearly you have a lot of difficult circumstances that you may have caused which would negatively impact this unborn baby. Give the child up for adoption. Straighten your life out one step at a time. Keep doing the next right thing. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Your children thankfully have grandparents that protected the kids from your poor choices I wouldn’t bash them over it even if you have been hurt. But you gotta stop the cycle of bad choices and do the work. Have to figure out why you keep making the same choices. You wouldn’t want your daughters making the choices you’ve made so you have to learn to do better. What’s best for the babies is in opposition of your baseline doing what you think is best for your emotions. If you can’t support a baby emotionally or financially bless another family with that bundle of joy.
I was only 15 when I got pregnant (I was rape by my bf at that time) but I decided to keep my baby after all. When I choose to be a mother I cleaned my act right even tho I was just staring my life. I ditch my bf and took all the responsibility. I am now 26 and my kid is 10 and we are living our best life. So I guess my advice is. 1st) Dump your bf he ain’t worth shit. 2) please get your tube cut or birth control!!! With me having just one baby I was in birth control right away!! Because I know I can’t do it again. 3) it is really up to you if you really want this baby but if you do you have ALOT of maturing to do because you will need to fight for your 1st baby and this baby.
Keep that baby and keep fighting for your other two. I’d regret it but that’s me. Just my viewpoint.
Don’t hate yourself. These things are really tough to go through, I think it’s a great idea. You’re asking for advice from a lot of people you don’t know. Judgemental people, hateful ppl, ppl who don’t understand what you’re going through so they can’t be sympathetic. At these times with all the hormones and stuff it’s really dangerous to have a post like this because it can cause you to get really depressed and make rash decisions. Maybe delete this. Think about what’s best for the baby. The last thing u need is to have it and not be able to provide a proper home or it go through hell or something bad happen. Maybe look into a counselor who can do a phone convo. But I’d delete this post it’s only going to hurt u and confuse u. I’ll say a prayer for you and I wish u the best. Sorry you’re in a tough spot sometimes we grow up ass backwards due to our raising and some ppl will never get that either. Take care.
If two kids have been taken out of your custody this one will be as well…im not sure who told u different, but once u lose parental rights any kid after will be taken once u give birth. Family will get asked first since they already have two…
I wouldn’t let my parents have this one.
No offense, but wtf are you doing getting pregnant again? Especially with the story you just told? You ahould be focusing on yourself not bringing another life into this world. Women’s care and birth control are free…
I mean this in the nicest way… you need to have your tubes tied or get on some kind of birth control. You can prevent pregnancy… there is no reason at this point you’re 6mo pregnant with a third child when you have this going on with the first two. Your first two are going to feel replaced, not to mention your funds will be EVEN LESS available for legal fees to fight to get your kids back considering another baby will be taking the little amount of money you do have. & it probably isn’t a good look in court either honestly. The moment you got pregnant this time, you should of been preparing to not have this baby whether that be abortion or adoption. But now you’re 6mo along & plan to just now start adoption processes? Honestly, maybe you should consider just giving this baby to your parents since they have your other two already & work to get them ALL back together. This situation just has me having a hard time finding it in me to give you my sympathy when it seems like most of this was brought on by your own actions & decisions. I’m not even sure your kids need to be back with you right now. Without thinking selfishly because you want your kids (understandable), do you truly believe they’re better off coming back with you then staying with your parents right now?
If your parents took your babies when you were unable to raise them so they can stay with family that doesn’t make them got awful people. It sounds like you have a very confusing life and probably need some mental health care. I will keep your children together because otherwise you’re going to create a whole bunch of abandonment trauma and the one that you gave away
First, sorry that you’re going through a lot. Second, make the choice that will yield the best results for you and the relationships with your children who have already been born. Im not aware of all the help you could get if you choose adoption, but if that info is correct, it sounds like it would put you in a better spot to be able to live a little more comfortably.
I feel sad reading all the comments!! The baby is now here. I’m sure the OP knows better precautions are needed
You don’t mention if the father has any say? I don’t know if you have access rights to your other two, or communicate with your parents.
Giving up a child is incredibly hard. You’re sacrificing this one to try and get your other two back.
Can you sit with your parents and work something out? Perhaps they can take the baby? If you’re working and getting your life together perhaps that effort will allow your parents to give you access rights? Keep working hard, be consistent. But think very carefully about giving your baby up.
I hope you keep your baby or place baby with your parents to grow up with her siblings.
Research adoption trauma.
And then get on birth control, or get fixed.
Turn your life over to God, He is the one who can give you the very best instructions. He is always there when you need him.Im praying for you.
I highly suggest after this baby is born you go get yourself an IUD get some mental health care and probably break up with your boyfriend. If he “can’t take care of a baby”.
Some of yall are seriously what’s wrong with the world and should delete fb
I have gave up my children for adoption. All I can say is that you do what’s best for you and the child. If you don’t think you could provide for you and your child, then pray on it and do what’s best. I decided to keep my second one after going through with adoption. At the end, I couldn’t do it. I tried to parent but couldn’t do it and had to give her up at 7 months old. It’s a super hard decision to make but make sure it’s YOUR decision and no one else’s. Make sure you make the right choice for you and the baby. Also, open adoption does exist! Please look into that route if you plan on doing adoption.
Some of yall are just rude and not helpful at all.
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Don’t stop fighting for your other 2. Ever.
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It sounds like deep down you want this new baby. You’ve already bought her everything she needs. If you give her up, you may never forgive yourself. She also may help your heart to ache a little less.
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Don’t listen to those saying you’re too young. I had my 3rd at your age and got my tubes tied immediately after the c-section. We can be amazing moms at a young age. I don’t suggest getting your tubes tied unless you are ready, but I do suggest long term birth control after the baby is born.
I’m so sorry you’re at such a tough spot right now. I’m a licensed clinical social worker and I actually specialize in this. I work with many women who consider adoption. I’m willing to provide some free phone sessions if you’d like. Message me.
I say keep your baby and also try to fight for the others… yes life is hard but you could still do it with a baby! You got this stay strong and keep your baby she needs her mommy.
First of all, you need to get help for yourself, like counseling. Possibly even medication to treat your depression. You cannot get your life together in the mental state you are in. Maybe when you get help you can re evaluate your life, qork on getting your other children back and do whats best for you.
If you don’t have custody of 2 already why would put yourself in a position to have another?
Fight for the kids here!
I’d give your 3rd to your parents at least they will all be brought up in the same household.
Even if “everybody” says this or that will happen, they’re not really involved. You could go into a deeper depression because of the adoption if you don’t do an open one, and those are heartbreaking too. Then again, adoption could be wonderful. It’s very difficult, you’ve got my heart with you in this.