I am unsure if I should go out with my neighbor and her daughter due to her daughters behavior: Advice?

Go just take separate vehicles just in case her daughter all of a sudden decides she wants to go home you aren’t stuck going home too. Maybe invite another friend to come too, so when they leave early you still have another person around.

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The little girl might have a medical diagnosis that you are unaware of but the mom is aware of and that might be why she will take her home when she asks instead of it getting worse.

You do what you feel is best for you family the same way she does what she feels is best for her family.

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I would cool the friendship never put your children up for grabs

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I wouldn’t. That child is ruling the roost.

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I wouldn’t go with her.

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I wouldn’t go with them. What happens if the child demands to leave and you guys aren’t ready to go? I wouldn’t go their house anymore either since the child is allowed to kick you out!

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You are not ruining the relationship the mom letting her daughter rule what happens is.

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Her daughter needs to learn who’s the adult here. Don’t go w them. Take your kids and go. Either her daughter will learn we don’t treat our friends that way when nobody wants to be around her or she’ll grow up abusing her parents. Sounds like she wears the pants in that house. Your kids don’t need the drama and neither do you. If the mother asks then tell her! Get a grip on the kids behavior or you’ll both not have any friends.

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Speak to the mother but be aware she probably wont like what you say. However life is hard enough for kids these days without encouraging toxic shitty friends. I would seek friendships elsewhere for your daughter or else this will effect her friendships in the future… Its really not ok.

I agree with a lot of comments on here and I myself have had exact situation and had to cut ties, so I feel your dilemma , but I’m really confused on why this is still being considered after the other parent expressed concern and doesn’t want the family to go?

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Tell your neighbor that your daughter found her daughter’s behavior very hurtful and now you and your daughter are hesitant to go to the water park, so we’ll have to put a pin in it for now, until everyone’s comfortable and in a better place… also, find some morning activities for you and your kids to limit your constant interactions

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Narcissist raising a narcissist

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Stop the visitation :rage:

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Tell your friend that she needs to start acting like a mother.

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Yeah I wouldn’t be taking my kids with them aha.

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I would completely ignore it. Also, if you know your children haven’t been mean and the child’s feelings are getting hurt anyway, then you don’t need to correct your own children.

I would let her mom parent the way she wants, and just ignore it.

Also if they invite you over, just don’t go over if the little girl is going to be mean, but if she comes over to your place completely ignore her sensative behavior. It’s the mom’s choice if she wants to leave at the command of her daughter.

If It’s a friendship that is important enough to you that you don’t want to end it, you just have to rise above it; you can’t control the way she parents her daughter unfortunately.

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Your kids shouldn’t lose out because of a brat. Go and have fun and do whatever your kids want to do, and if the brat gets mad because she wants to do something else, or complains about anything or anyone, just ignore her and keep doing what your kids want to do, and what makes them happy. She can storm off like she always does, and it’ll be her mother’s problem. I definitely wouldn’t drive with them though

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This sounds like typical kids friends one minute and not the next honestly if it is that bothersome for you I wouldn’t put your self in that situation

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I’d go, but make it clear to your children they are not obligated to play with them if they’re uncomfortable by their behavior. Also take separate vehicles.

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Take your own car with your three children. Meet them there. I the girl gets unruly, lose them at the park. Your kids should not miss out due to a temper tantrum of another child.

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Never allow your child to be emotionally " kicked in the face". She is only 5 and doesn’t have the cognizance to understand her friend’s actions are totally unacceptable. Nope- dont go

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I’d say to her “you shouldn’t let her tell YOU what to do or talk to you in that tone. You’re the mother. You’re in control. You don’t want her to grow up thinking she can talk to everyone that way whenever she wants.”
Put your two cents in. If she see’s what you mean she’ll change. If not, you don’t have to be friends.

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Sorry but that girl is so rude and the mother isn’t doing a thing about it which says the mother doesn’t care how the daughter treats others. I personally wouldn’t let my children spend another minute around a child like that because it won’t change your child will keep being bullied by that girl and probably grow up to be one, take your kids to the waterpark just you and your family, you don’t need the hassle because the little girl will probably be rude and mean to your daughter at the waterpark if you go together without you knowing about it

I respect that every family is raised differently, but they will also show my family respect ! As far as friends go , I feel that you should be able to effectively communicate with her kids & vice versa ! They will eventually learn what’s tolerated & what’s not :woman_shrugging:t4:

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No!! Don’t go unless you want the day ruined as soon as the little girl wants to go home.

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The outing aside…
I would be bringing this up with your friend as respectfully as you can.
She may not be aware that she is encouraging her daughters behaviour, instead of helping her child deal with conflict.
If she keeps it up im sure not many kids will want to be friends with her child and that will be on the mother.

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Nope outta that situation. They can play in passing in the neighborhood. I wouldn’t subject to myself or my kids to a day of entitlement.

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I wouldn’t want to expose my kids to a kid who is so rude and selfish and isn’t raised to respect anybody. I’d be sure to let the mom know your kids have feelings too and you’re not subjecting your kids to her kid until she learns how to be a better person. She’s 5, not 2. Kids know what’s nice, and what’s not, and if they don’t it’s the parents fault for not teaching them and it won’t change until the parents teach them, or loads of classmates and teachers tell her how terrible her attitude and behavior is.

Sometimes keeping family time should be just family… it’s less hassle and more attention to kids. I personally can’t stand play dates due to these issues… xx

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The relationship with your neighbor is not more important than how you or your daughter feel.

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Ugh just don’t let her play with your kids

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My neighbour next door has 2 kids that very rarely get to play with others in the area because she doesn’t like our parenting styles and way we deal with situations.
To eachs own. If u don’t like her or the way she does things u do not have to be friends, neighbor or not.

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Omg…you gave one too many chances already. Fk them both. They aint your family. If u want to have fun dont go with them period. You already know what you should do… :scissors: cut them off

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Lol I’d tell her you don’t want her daughters actions to impact your child’s in any way and you think its best if you keep them apart for awhile. You protect your cubs first and foremost! That behavior isn’t something you want your children to pick up on foreal!

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The neighbor mom let her 5 year old kick her out. It seems she needs help and support with discipline. It’s way past time for an honest discussion, tell her the kids aren’t playing together for a while, the water park trip is canceled and tell her why. None of the “something came up” bull crap some of you mentioned. Help her find some parenting resources and encourage her look into whether or not her daughter has a behavior issue. 5 year olds, girls especially, can be obnoxious brats, but this behavior is beyond normal.

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I d wean my child off the friendship

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Make sure to take separate cars. But if the girl gets mad and wants to leave let them. You can stay with your kids and have a great time.

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Have a talk with her mother and it she doesn’t see anything wrong with what her daughter does then I wouldn’t go on the outing with them

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You have enough already why take the chance of making it worse.

I don’t understand the question here
If the girls don’t get along STOP pushing them on one another
You can be friends with the mom if you want (despite parenting differences) without making your child suffer
Like is the water park only open that particular day?
I’m going to guess not so…take your family at a different time

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I wouldn’t make the trip with her

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I would deff still go but tell the mom her daughter hurt your kids feeling and doesn’t appreciate to be talked to like that and should be corrected respectfully. That’s how people lose friends being nasty. Like I tell my child. If your friend or playground friend at a park starts to yell, be bossy, mean or rude. You tell them if your going to act like that, I am not comfortable playing with you and I am now leaving. We can talk about it, or I don’t wish to be around this. And few times I’ve seen her do it and they improved their behavior or my daughter left stress free. Played again days gone by. But still. Your kid doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, and vice versa.parents should catch the behavior and try to help correct it. My kid acts out. We shut that shit down real quick and go how a talk about it and if nothing changes. Then she doesn’t need to go outside till she fixes her behavior.

I don’t think you should go.

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I would take separate cars just incase the child doesn’t want to stay and once you get to the park go your separate ways meet up occasionally to play together have lunch together if yall stay that long and then separate again clearly the mother is ok with the behavior so there is no point in saying anything and why ruin a fun trip

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Tell the mom that your daughters feelings were hurt and she doesn’t want to go … The mother needs to make her daughter realize there are consequences to her actions … Taken your kids to the water park without them

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That stinks. I guess this is why they say good fences…make good neighbors

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My son had a rude friend and I took that friendship away from him, he happened to me as a child and got hurt, I don’t allow my son to be rude either, I didn’t go for a walk with them, that’s why I don’t like having ties with any neighbor or friends , just saying hello is enough for me.

Where oh where is the tiger here! Your daughters feelings are much more important fuck ya neighbours kid honestly.
Take your family there another day dont go with someone who may possibly ruin the experience! Poor girl putting up with things like that.
I know its hard no family is perfect everyone does something we dont like and vice versa but that is shocking if my kids spoke like that to anyone the thong is coming out!
Kids are getting to self entitled something im well aware of and working on myself.
Be great if there were a parenting advice page haha

Don’t do it! I’d make an excuse that you cannot go and wean yourself from this too close for comfort friendship. Your own kids come first, always remember that.

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I’m no where near as nice as you. I wouldn’t have let it go this far. I would have cut her off after 2nd time. Life is too short for this happy crappy. Go with your kids. Enjoy your self.

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Listen to your husband.

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I had 6 kids and would not tolerate that behavior,Save your daughter a lot of confusion, heart ache distance yourself from the neighbors, explain to parent it is too upsetting to your child,make sure your daughter meets other children.

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Nope, nope, nopety NOPE :no_good_woman:t5::no_entry_sign: She better teach her kid some manners! I know a few “only child” families but their kids don’t run the show or act so spoiled & entitled, my goodness, this will not turn out well for her… Can’t believe she admits she’s been kicked out of her own home by her child!:woman_facepalming:t4:

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husband is right you don’t want your daughter picking up that behavior

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I’d be busy that weekend and it’d be time to drift apart. :v:t3:

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Husband is correct! I’d start distancing from neighbor. I wouldn’t go on trip.

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Why subject yourself and your kids to this? Politely, but firmly decline the invite. Go when you and your kids want to go, and have a good time. Life’s too short to waste it on this. Nobody enjoys it. Move on.

I wouldn’t go. I don’t take my children around people who are rude because they don’t deserve to be treated badly and I would never ever allow my kids to be rude to other children. The mom not correcting the behavior is kinda scary. My kids treat everyone nicely and play as nicely as possible or they won’t be playing with people. :woman_shrugging:t2:. Instilling kindness and manners into our children is one of the responsibilities we should take very seriously as parents. A mean kid would never be allowed to play with my children because I’m not going to teach my children that it’s okay to be treated that way by letting them continue to be around the mean child. I’d tell the neighbor that the kids don’t really want to play with her child anymore, that you hope it all works out but you don’t want to force them to do anything they don’t wanna do and it seems like the girl doesn’t want to be friends with them either. I wouldn’t make excuses, I’d be honest so maybe she will realize her lack of parenting and allowing this behavior is not okay at any age.

Friendship is second to your relationship with your kids.
Always side with your child and don’t make them feel like it’s their fault you don’t have friends

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I would maybe have her take her vehicle n u take yours. However if it was my friend I would correct her daughter are say something to mom. Idk I would speak my mind and if it goes bad well hey u stay on ur property and she can stay on hers :scream:

Make sure you go in separate cars. If the entitled brat - sorry calling it as I see it - wants to go home let her and her parents go.
Your family can stay and continue to have fun.
Do remember to tell them all about when you see them again.

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Tell her your daughter doesn’t want to be around her daughter. Take her yourself another time instead of going with them. The mom needs to grow tf up honestly.

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“She kicked me out of the house too.” Who’s the child and who’s the parent?? It sounds like she, the neighbor, doesn’t know how to handle conflict and just chooses not to altogether. Unfortunately, that’s made her kid a brat as she gets her way all of the time. I agree with the other ladies about telling her you’re not going. I second telling her that your daughter’s feelings are hurt and she doesn’t want to go so you’re not going. Let the shoe be on the other foot for once. Definitely do not go. Go with your hubs and kids on another day.

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Your child comes first. You are the only one protecting her from abusive behavior.

Be honest. She’s letting her child be in charge instead of the other way around. Being neighbors doesn’t mean you have to put up w that. You already said you wouldn’t allow your children to behave the way the daughter does, so why let it go any further?

I wouldtalk with your friend about it because her daughter is 5 and has no siblings plus you don’t know what’s going on inside the home that could be causing some of the behavior. If you keep saying nothing it will get worse and you will definitely end up fighting with her.Just sit down with her and explain how your daughter feels when her daughter is doing that and you just don’t want the friendship to end over a 5 year old behavior. It’s her daughter she needs to handle her child and if she’s one of those moms that think her child does no wrong then you make the choice to cut it off and stay to yourselfs.

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Yes cancel trip. You can be honest and say the kids do not want to go now. But if you want to reduce the drama and not make things more uncomfortable, I wouldn’t.
Definitely start distancing you and your kids, no need to be rude or un neighborly, just spend less time with them and get your kids active with other kids and places to go.
If the kids play occasionally you can handle that much better. And just explain to your kids ahead of time that it’s ok if she wants to go home, we don’t want to play with anyone that doesn’t want to play.
But I would discontinue your kids going over to their house to play altogether. You have an easy excuse by saying because you have 3 kids to her 1 it’s just easier for you to manage them at home and it’s what you’re more comfortable with, not burdening her. Etc

Make an excuse lots of excuses! Kids sick! Your sick! Dog died! The lil one will
Mature in time, now is not the time

Don’t go and tell the mom that you don’t want your children around her disrespectful lil pill!!!

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Don’t make any excuses. Tell her that you will take your own car so when her daughter wants to go & everyone else doesn’t, they can leave. I had a friend who did this. It worked like a charm.

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Don’t put up with that sassy sh🤢t!

Nope I wouldn’t put my kids in that situation

Separate yourselves from her gradually. Her daughter is spoilt rotten, and you don’t need your children to be affected by her behaviour.

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Husband is right. I would not want to go either and would limit my time with them.

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Go and have fun. Kids will play with other kids. She can leave when she want to. Let your daughter know she has a choice to play with other kids.

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Make an excuse. Do u want to pay to go there to have her daughter demand to leave after 5 min. Her mother is creating a monster and will regret her inaction in a few years. Child sounds toxic. Limit her time with ur children. Better all around.

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Go in your own vehicle! So if her daughter wants to go they can go whenever they want ! You can stay until all is ready to go home! By the looks of it they will not be there for long!

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I would of simply said oh well I’ll remember that when you come over by darling

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Don’t go with her and her child. Tell her straight up how her kid is acting. You and your kids doesn’t need to be around a mother and daughter who act like that.

Kids will be kids. They fight one minute play the next. Just have fun enjoy them. Don’t let it change y’all if you that close of friends. True friends are hard to find. Kids grow up and it gets better between them. But don’t hurt to talk to your friend about it.

Take your own car so if the little shirt wants to leave,then her mom can take her home. You may want to think about letting this relationship cool. If her parents cater to her like this now, her behavior is only going to get worse as time goes on.

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I’d talk to the parent of the other child see what’s going on. It sounds like your children are doing things constantly that upset the girl so she doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to be involved in that. It the way I read what you wrote. I would get to the bottom of it and supervise no more in room play etc. Something is going on. I don’t scold my kids in front of others so I wouldn’t be mad at that

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Honestly I wouldn’t go. I’m sorry but if she won’t even correct her child’s behavior. That’s putting yours at risk for getting hurt mentally, emotionally, or physically. I get their both just kids. But I don’t feel like it’s necessary or fair to put your daughter through that. I’ve had issues with a child getting along with mine before because she also had behavioral issues. My daughter would tell me all of the time how mean the other kid is and I just got to a point where I didn’t really let mine play with the other child anymore because it got to a point where I was tired of seeing my baby upset. I know it’s hard. But it’s obvious the other mom isn’t going to do anything about it as of right now. You can’t do anything like punish the other child. So, I would just not let your child play with her anymore or at least for a while until the 9ther child’s behavior hopefully gets better.

She should have scold her daughter for talking to your daughter the way she did because your daughter doesn’t deserve that and she doesn’t do that to her when she comes over to your house. Her mother is raising a spoil disrespectful brat your daughter doesn’t need to be around that nasty little girl! Make sure you have a talk with the mother and make that little spoil brat apologize to your daughter if not stay away you don’t need all that’s drama. Push her away little by little.

The kids are young but old enough to understand if they are communicated with properly. Find a way to have a chat together as parents with the kids and find out what the real issue is. If you and the mom are that close you should be able to communicate this kind of stuff and try and find a solution… If you can’t do that then… distance kind of sounds like the only option :woman_shrugging:t2:
Everyone parents differently, and sometimes kids just won’t get along but it’s not as easy as just pointing the finger in one direction all the time.

Listen to your husband. I wouldn’t go

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If your kids are excited to go. I wouldn’t spoil their fun because of a bratty little 5 year old whos parent clearly needs a kick in the pants because she allows her daughter to walk all over her. If the kids want to go, go. Just take a separate car and allow them yo still enjoy the water park. If the neighbor girl wants to go down slide a and your kids want slide b. Go down slide b and tell the neighbor mom youll meet up with her later. Allowing her daughter to dictate the fun for your family sets a poor example for your children. Teach them never to settle for less than they are worth and that they are worth being treated with dignity and respect.

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It could be because she’s an only child she doesn’t know how to be behave in certain situations like your children do because they have each other. And the mom only having one child may not even realize there is an issue because she’s not used to having more than one child around.

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Your husband is right. Don’t go. Take your kids and go yourself. Don’t lie . Don’t sugar coat it. Tell her straight up how you feel about the situation with her demanding and untoward child’s behavior. Sometimes you have to make those sacrifices( like losing friends) for a better experience or what have you for your children.

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Go separately, she sounds like a child who gets her way. Sad…

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I would not subject my children to that kind of treatment. Sorry that she’s your neighbor but she should teach her daughter better manners

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I would go and if she’s a brat I would stop hanging out as much. It may be weird but you don’t want your kids to start acting like her.

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I wouldn’t go anywhere and I’d cut the kids friendship off. Find a new play group, its pretty easy once you start looking. I wouldn’t want my kid playing with girl. And I wouldn’t want to hang out with her Mom either… in five years she’s gonna come ask for advice as to how to real the kid back in and behave…

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I’d definitely just take my own car and if they leave then you guy’s can still have fun without them. But have them take there own car.

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Nope…never okay for a 5 yr old to be the boss with 2 parents there.

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It is your job to protect your children. If you want a friend….get a dog.

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Your husband is right! Why in hell would you second guess this! This child hurt your daughters feelings to make her cry. Her mother did nothing to teach her. Why are you worried more about remaining a friend to her than about your own child. You think your child will have a good time? Cancel and take your child with you and your husband.

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Go talk to the mom. Say…hey the other day your daughter was pretty mean. Can we talk about that?

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I agree with your hubby

Have a mum to mum chat with the mum & if it still continues, stop visiting each other.

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