I am unsure if I should go out with my neighbor and her daughter due to her daughters behavior: Advice?

Don’t go together, why would you want to? I agree with your husband.

3 Likes

I would have to find some
New neighbor friends who teach their daughter some manners .

3 Likes

Stay home and y’all do something together

1 Like

No don’t go. You both need to communicate to each other. If you are friends then talk. But remember not everyone raises their kids with manners and morals. Its hard im sure but be honest with her. If it ruins your friendship then she wasn’t a good friend im the first place.

5 Likes

Cut that friendship quick!! Do not go! This is the age children are realizing if you can protect them or not. Please protect their dignity and feelings, i woupd never allow my children be around bullies espcially when their prents do not correct them.

6 Likes

Nah. If she wont correct her child I wouldn’t be around it cause id end up saying something to the little girl myself. Nobody is gonna be a brat to my child. Kid or parent.

7 Likes

Dang the kids were up all night puking and running a fever :shushing_face:

2 Likes

I wouldn’t go near the girl or her mother. I’d make new friends. By continuing visits with them, it’s enabling them to treat you and your children badly. I’d say goodbye and don’t come to my house anymore. And mean it. You deserve better.

5 Likes

Case of the tale wagging the dog. Wait til she’s a teenager. There will be war if she doesn’t get it under control now.

1 Like

This child has an idiot for mother. Her daughter is goI got to pay a serious problem when she goes to school. They will not put up with that kind of behaviour. I am with your husband do not go. Her child is out of control and is not being taught guidelines to learn what is right and what is wrong. Shame on her parents.

1 Like

Don’t go …She needs to teach her daughter "Respect ’ until then I wouldn’t let my kid’s play with her child.

2 Likes

Don’t go. A trip to a Waterpark is not worth your peace.

3 Likes

Ps If you do go, you’re teaching your child from an early age that she must accept disrespect

8 Likes

I wouldn’t go with your neighbor , I’d just take your family and make a day trip at water park so that ur child can enjoy the trip without a uncontrollable kid ruining it!

9 Likes

Well I’d definitely cancel the trip!! Tell your neighbor that your child said they don’t want them to come. Period. Use what that neighbor does to you to defend her brat ass child that they are obviously using the Permissive Parenting method with. Ie. I let my child run all over me and anyone else. They make their own rules garbage. This child is a monster and if her behavior is making your children walk on eggshells then stop it!! It’s not fair to your children. Period.

When people aren’t being respectful to my child I remove her from the situation all together… she’s too young to understand that they are being mean and not playing nice… asking her to go play just to pick on and bully her… I removed her from the situation and she didn’t go play with them again…

3 Likes

I say don’t go! It doesn’t matter if y’all’s friendship ends now or in a few year y’all won’t be friends for long anyway

3 Likes

You have to draw a line because it sounds like there’s more negative than positive. Having a talk with just the mom about your concerns, try and phase it politely so you’re not crossing a line. If she takes it positive and tries to work on those area’s, fine she’s friend worthy. If she receives it in a negative way, then you have all the answers you need.
Communication 101 first…

1 Like

I wouldn’t go. Find something you’ll enjoy with your kids.

3 Likes

Go and have fun with your kids. Drive separately that way you don’t have to deal with the mother or her child. You can leave when u want. While in the water park
,do what your child wants to do and not worry about the other child and mother. Just have lunch together while at the water park that way you spent time with the neighbors and your kids enjoyed their self.

9 Likes

I’d go, and if she acts up and the parents do nothing, continue on with your children and your day. It’s on her to correct the behavior. Go have fun and take 2 vehicles just in case!

2 Likes

Don’t go. I know it’s wrong but I’d correct her kid and explain to the kid why it’s wrong so that she can’t just say you’re attacking her kid

You don’t have to go but also remember your neighbors child doesn’t owe your child anything either. As if you as an adult had a houseguest or were at a place you were uncomfortable with. Just because their children doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have any control in situations that make them uncomfortable.

2 Likes

Reschedule,your kids only get to be kids once and irs your job to make it amazing. If her mother can’t correct her stay away from such a family. you dont have to compromise for anyone unless the people important to you.your kid’s can make new friends

2 things are going on, allowing your child to accept being treated this way is not a good idea, kills the self esteem quickly. And it may end up showing her a behavior she doesn’t need to see especially if she’s getting her way, being a bully and you already have a very giving, kind-hearted child :heart: graciously decline to go and make a day with your girl!

1 Like

Wow lots of judgey people here calling the kid a brat!! Sounds to me like she could possibly displaying so ASD signs where her safe place is home and things may seem little to you but could be big to her and upset her enough to need to get back there. Also telling you to get out would also suggest to me she could of been dealing with a melt down already and couldnt cope with you being there. People need to think outside the box instead of just labeling a child naughty or a brat. The mum may be going through turmoil knowing her child isnt acting like others but doesnt know what to do or how to face it.

7 Likes

Always trust your gut!

Ok she sounds like my son. He just says things for a reaction. I do correct him but I do it away from the person. I’m not disciplining in front of the other child who will likely hold it over his head. You don’t know what’s going on. She may be trying her best to teach her child filters. If I were you I’d say something like “wow that was harsh. Can you talk about what is bothering you?” It could be she’s trying to be funny, or is having a bad day that has nothing to do with your daughter or maybe your daughter did something she didn’t like.

I can’t tell you what to do with the water park. If this 5yo bothers you basly you probably shouldn’t go. If you do go make you drive separately in case she needs/wants to go home early.

Do not go. You should never expose your children to the abusive behavior of another! Especially when your children are corrected by you for their bad behavior and the other child is allowed to run wild. No thank you. Your children do not deserve that!

1 Like

Take your kids on a different day. Id say to your neighbours I’m sorry but my kids really don’t want to go with yours as she’s really upset them.

4 Likes

If anyone spoke to my child that way. I wouldn’t be making any future plans with them again. That’s disrespectful & being a bully. That’s NOT cool.

4 Likes

Don’t go let it blow over for a while. Stop hanging out with them for a while. The other mom will figure it out soon enough.

2 Likes

Sounds to me like your neighbor needs to grow a back bone where her child is concerned… That aside, You can find ways to limit the interactions in time that you have with the neighbor without being rude. I agree with other ladies that have said you should drive to the water park separately …Even smaller water parks are pretty big, enough space to get “lost” if Lil Miss “I Want It My Way or I Won’t Play” decides to pull her usual act… I also understand you not wanting to cause a relationship issue with your neighbor, especially if you ladies get along well enough to possibly be good friends in the future. Going off the comment the mother made about, “she kicked me out of the house too”… She may be at a loss herself as to how to “deal” with her daughter… Do try to be patient with her and child, within reason. There are ways to give friendly suggestions when it comes to parenting without being judgemental and intrusive. Maybe ponder that, so that you can help this lady. You know her personality type better than we do, So it’s possible it’s possible you can find a tactical way to give her helpful suggestions.

Tbh I have called quits on so many friends coz of there kids sad I no but I can’t tolerate bulshit

Maybe she’s 5 and trying to tell you something

Why are you even hanging out with this people they ain’t even related to you and your going threw all this drama because of that little girl … just don’t let your daughter play with her

3 Likes

How about bringing to the attention of the other parent. You two are the adults discuss if and if you feel you should go to park with them trust what ya gut says.

I think you should go by yourself

1 Like

Don’t let. A kid actions get in your way especial at that age thear still learning try to not pay attention to then

Bad neighbors, ESPECIALLY when it comes to neighbors kids, are the freakin worst. Similar situation but the little girl by us is just a royalllll I won’t say it. It really messes w your kid learning to develop friendships. Create some space for your daughters sake and make sure she knows that is not how we treat ppl we care about

9 Likes

Don’t go! Noway …Put yourself in your daughters 5 year old self…being told to get out…hurting her feelings for no reason…this is saying to your child…it’s ok to be bullied to save face…neighbor or not…I have 7 grandsons and 2 adult children…this would not fly with me!

8 Likes

Don’t go, and don’t take their shit. Don’t let her daughter disrespect your kids if she wants to be a brat and leave at the drop of a hat.

8 Likes

I wouldn’t go but if you do then stick up for your ur child and speak up if her own mother does not want to parent tell her please don’t talk to my child that way, it’s not nice and make sure to talk to your daughter about sticking up for herself in a nice way and then walking away, if the mom has a problem with it, let her know this is probably not the best and should take a break from each other because your child should not have to deal with that type of behaviour and it’s not right and maybe she should focus on parenting her child better because it’s not gonna get any better as she grows and then she will be crying around about her daughters behaviour towards her and she won’t have anyone to blame but herself

9 Likes

The little girl is a spoiled little brat . Could you imagine her as a teenager ? I wouldn’t go anywhere with her . I tried to have friends when my kids were little but their kids wanted to touch everything ,nicks nacs ,remote . Run around spilling drinks dropping food . I want give me instead of please and thank you . No thanks . I’m old school . I believe children should behave especially in someone else’s house .

10 Likes

I wouldn’t want my kids treated that way , or to pick it up as a habit . I say talk to the mom and if she doesn’t understand oh well

3 Likes

Do. Not. Go. Teach your daughter to stand up for herself in a respectful way and understand that not all people are raised that way. No reason to make your poor child miserable to please someone else.

13 Likes

I say since it set up go but from now on try to distance your self a little with them. Say ur busy give excuses. Explain to your children that it not ok for someone to treat them like that and we can be nice when we see them but don’t have to always be around them

Here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter what any moms tell you on Facebook. How do you feel? Do you believe it would benefit you and your child to go to the water park at this point? Honestly I don’t go around children and their moms if they are rude to my child. And I don’t go inviting them anywhere or going on trips with them either. And yes if my child were to scream on another child get out I don’t want you here I would be right back there going excuse me what’s going on here and I would be trying to figure out why my child was being rude like that. It sounds like to me you’re not going to have fun on this water trip. And I don’t go anywhere it’s not fun for me and my child. You are not here to impress the other moms or their children. And that’s exactly what I saw my child and that’s exactly what I tell other moms and their children. Excuse me I’m not here to impress you or your mama you know. You’re here to take care of your family and have fun with your child. So my best advice is figure out in your heart what you really think is going to happen. Because you don’t please other moms or other children okay you please yourself and your children. And that’s the way I see that.

1 Like

No don’t let your kids around that kind of behavior. I would cut ties. I can’t stand kids like that

1 Like

Not worth it.
I would keep it to them coming over and having the option to leave.

You going over and getting kicked out and having mom be whatever about it shows you that she doesn’t care.

I would NOT go with them anywhere else.

Your child deserves better friends.

Just because it’s convenient that they are next door doesn’t mean that it’s ok for your child to be subjected to a mean girl.

16 Likes

Sounds like her child has some dis-regulation issues. My son, who has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) could be like that when he was younger. He didn’t understand social cues, or why things he said would upset others. Emotional regulation was an issue till we put him in social skills therapy. Could this be an issue for her? Ask her mother let her know you have noticed her disregard for your child’s feelings and were curious if she understood she had hurt her feelings? If she says there is an issue then you know it wasn’t intentional and can explain to your child. If she gets upset and wants to be mad you’ll know where the child gets it from and I’d continue That heart to heart with Mom; Tell her exactly what you said to us, that due to the daughter’s not getting along and yours having hurt feelings often when the child is dismissive of her, you feel you need to bow out of the waterpark outing this summer. Hopefully the girls will find a more inclusive way to play together in the meantime.

4 Likes

Go to the water park in your own car. Let your kids have fun. If she starts being disrespectful call her out on it. Don’t let her talk to your daughter like that. If mom says anything tell her about it. Sounds like that mom let’s lil mouth run the house and someone needs to call them out.

4 Likes

Do what makes you and your children comfortable…

My son and his bestie are very close , inseparable sometimes…but there is often times us moms ( also my friend ) no that they need a break for a day or too …

Kids can be brutally honest and or rude sometimes …we all parent differently…
Jus because she responds a diffreng way then you do , doesn’t mean she is wrong …

I have also, as most have ignored rudeness or outburst from my child in the hopes they will get the point …silence is golden , if all else fails duct tape is silver , lol…lol…

Maybe some adult time with you and your friend is needed …kids don’t always need to be a part of the plan…

Breaks from others are necessary and healthy :blush:

A few questions. Does the child have a diagnosis or does it seem that she may have special needs. I know on the surface this seems pretty cut and clear, but there may be something else going on that makes the mom feel she needs to give in to avoid escalation. If so, the mom clearly has not yet learned how to deal with her daughter’s issues. She may even feel that she’s leaving for YOUR benefit and not her daughters. Then add the possibility that mom is HUMAN, burned out, or dealing with her own mental health issues. We are usually so quick to condemn “bad parenting” but if you stop for a second and realize that kids don’t come with a manual. Each child, parent, family, and scenario is fully unique and maybe she just hasn’t figured it out yet. If you want to be a good neighbor, ask her how she’s actually doing. Let her know you noticed her daughter is dealing with some things and ask her if there’s anything you and your kids can do to help the situation. Not go out of your way or inconvenience yourself, but at least to recognize and understand whats going on… As for the water park, just drive separately, try to make the most of it, and if the neighbor girl starts up, take some time doing different things. This is a good teaching experience for the kids to learn how to deal with difficult peers. Just try not to look at it from a foggy lense. Get the facts. Have an open conversation. And be supportive. If you aren’t able to muddle through it, you probably shouldn’t go. Just seems like a lot of undue stress.

Trust this Mom. She knows what her daughter needs. Each child is an individual.

Tell her that her daughter disrespected your daughter and that isn’t tolerated.

5 Likes

She definitely has serious problem, possible bipolar, mom won’t believe it, but once in school it will really show itself. Tell mom if she is allowed to mistreat your kids they can’t be together

  1. I wouldn’t go because I am the first line of defense for my children and my actions show them what is acceptable (allowing people to treat us a certain way)
  2. I would correct the neighbor girl and tell her it’s nice nice to speak that way. (Assuming my children don’t speak that way to her)

My Mom always told me. It’s a lot easier to just let them go then to discipline them. I feel this is what this mother is doing with her child. We all know how hard it is to discipline and be consistent. So this Mom is doing what’s easiest for her. Sad this little girl will grow up and no one will want to play with her. She’ll have no friends due to the Mom just letting her go.
I wouldn’t let them play with her for awhile. When the little girl sees she has to be nice in order to play. Maybe just maybe she’ll change her behavior.
Takes a village to raise a child and sometimes other parents must teach someone else’s child to be respectful.

2 Likes

This little terror is being allowed to be mean to your daughter? Hell no I would not go anywhere with her. If she acts like that at home, she is going to be hell on wheels in public(where she will get even more attention°

2 Likes

I wouldn’t go. I’d also limit time with them. It sounds as if her mother doesn’t teach her how to treat others.

Consider riding in separate cars, limiting playdates etc etc but rocking a boat with your next door neighbour could make for unpleasant days ahead. Keep your children apart of they do not jive.

1 Like

Any relationship should not afflict any harm to your family period! If your so called friend doesn’t address your concern and now your here asking 4 advice from strangers it would seem u are the only friend in this relationship. Family should never pay the price ! Honor and value should b taught in the home first!

Honestly, Sometimes people have difficult children. This mom might have tried other ways of dealing with it and it may not have worked, anyway. Take separate cars and just don’t make plans next time if it’s not great. But I’d call the mom and tell her that what her daughter said made your daughter cry, and your daughter would appreciate an apology before the water park because your daughter feels sad. And see if the mom cooperates. If she doesn’t cooperate, then maybe say that your daughter doesn’t want to go to the water park with her then. Use your child to take a stand and to make things less awkward. Issues should be dealt with.

Go to the water park in your own car let your daughter have fun if you see the girl act up towards your daughter walk away there’s too much going on in a water park to sit there and take crap

Suggest separate vehicles. That way if the spoiled brat wants to go home, they can without ruining your families fun day.

The mum treated the girl like a treasure and that’s the result. Go with your kids alone

As far as I read , you don’t want your kids picking up that behavior

Idk but I correct all kids including mine and if the mama wants some she can have some too. I will never let a child disrespect anyone in front of me

5 Likes

If you go take separate vehicles

2 Likes

Do what’s best for your kids.

1 Like

Eek. She rules house. Unfortunately that’s a parenting fail. It will only get worse. I’ve had to seperate myself and my 3 year old from certain people because either it needs to be corrected or you’d have to set boundaries and keep your distance so that your children don’t think that’s by any means acceptable. Your choice,tho. Unfortunately bad rubs off on good and not the other way around.

Girrrllll it’s time to tell that family to kick Rocks up a hill in a rainstorm… your kind so your doing your best … but to heccccck no.

1 Like

I have a sweet sweet friend I really like her but after hanging out with her 3 or so times and her oldest bullying my son! Which is 3 years older and my friend not doing anything about it (gentle parenting with zero consequences )I WILL not hang out with her if her son is around only by ourselves she doesn’t know it though. I don’t feel comfortable telling her . From what I heard he’s like that with a lot of kids.

One of the reasons I never make friends with my neighbors is because of this. I rather just be neighbors than friends

Keep your distance from your neighbor and keep distance between your daughter and the other child. If you go, go in desperate vehicles and if you need to leave because someone’s upset just say you guys had a good time and just got tired.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am unsure if I should go out with my neighbor and her daughter due to her daughters behavior: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

All this explain to your kid she has a problem and it not your child, and kids need a break too .Stop the BS if your kids is rude mean you handle you bad kids . sorry not sorry the good kid shouldn’t have to pay the price for another kids bad behavior

1 Like

Have you considered her daughter may have additional needs? Maybe not recognised yet?

2 Likes

I would just go with my kids and reschedule. She probably acts that way because she’s an only child and is used to playing how she wants to with what she wants to. My niece is the same way (she’ll be 5 in September). She constantly snitches on her cousins for the most miniscule things and gets frustrated.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am unsure if I should go out with my neighbor and her daughter due to her daughters behavior: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Nope wouldnt waste my tine

Don’t go. And when the mom ask, explain that this behavior is unacceptable and that you don’t feel comfortable with your kids feeling like they have to be careful around her daughter bc she is overly sensitive and creates issues more often than not, so for now, you would prefer not going on outings until things get easier for everyone. Simple as that.

117 Likes

You don’t have to be friends just because you’re neighbors. I would never let ANYONE disrespect my children! The mom is the problem and you owe it to your children to teach them to dismiss anyone who doesn’t respect them. PERIOD!

132 Likes

I would never let a child disrespect my child When I am standing right there. If her Mom won’t say anything than you should.

39 Likes

I probably wouldn’t go, but if I did, I’d make the day about me and my kid and let her worry about her 3. Pull the ol’ “We’re off to…….(anywhere they aren’t)……! We’ll meet back up for lunch.”

43 Likes

Suggest going in separate cars and when the other mom wonders why tell her that when her child gets mad and wants to go home you want to be free to stay so that yours can continue to enjoy the park. Surely she will get the hint.

169 Likes

Your husband is right!..i had the same experience with my children and our neighbor’s children. Their kids would come over and say, " I’m the guest and I play what I want and I don’t clean up because I’m the guest ". When my children would go over and play, they had to play what ever game the neighbor kids wanted and clean up even if they did not play with their toys. When I found out about this, my children never went to go play next door nor were the neighbor kids invited to come and play in my house. The neutral zone was outside. However, when the neighbor kids dad started playing with his sons against my 3 kids in a friendly game of baseball and my kids won, the dad changed the rules to make his kids win. My kids were so upset! My kids chose to no longer play with the neighbors. They learned that the dad was not playing fair and his own kids were being taught by their dad to not be neighborly. Let the kids make the choice as they are the ones who will suffer!

36 Likes

Definitely only child syndrome. I had a few friends like that. Sounds like her mommy doesn’t know how to handle her or have her understand she is not the only one. I wouldn’t go, but if I did I would take my own car and do your own thing. She probably want to go home. And you don’t want to have to leave.

45 Likes

Have you considered the mom is contributing to the girls attitude and actions? Personally would keep contact low from now on and reconsider going to the water park or anywhere with them from now on. Be considerate as well with how you approach them from now on and pay attention to how your children are acting as well their might be something missing you haven’t noticed either from them or on your part.

31 Likes

Neighbor or not I would let it be known that if her daughter is going to be rude then you no longer want your children around her. Apparently her mom does not feel the need to correct her child.

40 Likes

I wouldn’t go anywhere with them unless we took separate vehicles. That way they can leave when the little girl throws her fit. You are not obligated to do anything with your neighbor.

55 Likes

It doesn’t sound like this little girl wants to get along consistently with your children, nor is she being taught appropriate problem-solving methods by her Mother. I think this is setting up an unhealthy situation for the little girl (constantly in a situation she doesn’t want to be in without being taught how to best handle that) and your 3 children (who would surely be feeling repeated rejection which doesn’t seem fair for them to go through). I think if you can’t talk to the Mother, understand the root cause and work on a solution and compromise then it’s just harbouring an unhealthy relationship for everyone and should potentially end.

5 Likes

Um. They are rude. And clearly don’t see a problem with their behavior. I would distance myself because those people will never change.

47 Likes

I understand how you feel, it can be hard on friendships when parenting styles differ. I’m with you, I wouldn’t feel good about going somewhere with the neighbour either. Follow your gut, you and your hubby are on the same page. We shouldn’t put ourselves and our family in uncomfortable situations, especially when you know your daughter will most likely be in the firing line of the girls outbursts. Her parents are doing her a disservice by not working through these situations in a healthy way.

16 Likes

Anybody who says a child kicked them out of their own house is not parenting . That woman needs Nanny Jo to come asap.

42 Likes

Always trust your intuition. If it’s telling you not to go then don’t go. But if the neighbor asks be honest.

7 Likes

Discernment from your heart is the best way to deal with this. Look for positive influences and if you feel negatively then retreat from this children’s play group! You are not obligated to keep this in your life.

11 Likes

There is no relationship if your neighbor does not see how wrong her child’s behavior is and starts to correct her in a gentle manner.

17 Likes

I would go with her and as soon as her daughter said something rude to your kid (which you KNOW it will happen) instruct your child to tell the bratty kid to go away and play with someone who actually like her. She will realize at the waterpark that nobody there is her friend and she will either act right or tell her mom she wants to go home. Either way problem solved :woman_shrugging:t4:

8 Likes

Why do people always pick the hard way to deal with situations. Talk to her. Tell her your concerns and your feelings about what’s happening. If she don’t like it hey no hard feelings but your kids just don’t need to interact.

14 Likes