Just let the man get what your child needs, next time maybe ask him for cash so you can order what your child needs if it makes you feel any better
Nah, he’s doing the right thing. I wouldn’t just give money when I can be 100% sure that my child got everything the need. You wanna do it? Get your own money.
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I can understand the being hurt, but you have many more years of buying school supplies. I have 1 daughter and I remember how hurt I was that she started her period at her dads and his wife got to have that “milestone”. No I didn’t get mad, no I didn’t say anything to him his wife or my daughter, it just hurt not to be involved in a very big milestone in her life as a mom.
The school supplies gets randomized anyways between the children. I understand the excitement I was the same way but I learned that all the ‘cool’ stuff I got wasn’t even given to my son lol. Now I focus more on backpack, jacket, shoes, lunchbox, etc. Also no offense but you being unemployed and not being able to do it yourself cannot be mad at him for doing it.
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Why can’t you both buy him supplies?
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If you get a chance I would buy one special thing for school like a binder or special fun erasers or something small
This is the first of many “firsts” you will have share. Find a way to be at peace with it. Create something in place that is special. After school first day party, first day pics etc. it will save you heartaches in the long run.
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I wouldn’t rely on him ask the school for help
This is what you’re upset about?? Good lord this is petty. Let him spend the money…. There’s far worse things in life to be bent out of shape about. Just focus on prepping your kid for school. They won’t remember what you bought for them but they will remember the time you spent with them.
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It’s ok girl! He’s just getting supplies. The baby needs them, and I’m sorry this is hurting. I’d feel off if I couldn’t get them either. Don’t worry about it, it’s for the baby and no matter what baby is first:heart:
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Maybe dads excited too 
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So send a list of half of the supplies to buy and you buy the other half. Seems like a pretty common sense solution. There’s nothing sentimental about buying crayons or pencils… the backpack and lunch box? Maybe. But not the other stuff.
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I think your feelings of being disappointed in missing that experience with your son are valid, but I feel like it’s just something you need to kind of deal with. And I know that sounds really harsh
but the fact is, especially when you are no longer with the other parent and they are actively co-parenting, you’re going to miss out on things. it is an unavoidable part of co-parenting
so while it’s okay to feel disappointed, it is healthiest to recognize that it’s just disappointment and that it is simply a product of the situation. It has nothing to do with the child’s father.
The child’s father provided for his son. You really can’t get angry at that. he didn’t do anything wrong. if anything, he did everything right. You mentioned that your son had a need to be filled and he immediately stepped in and filled it.
when you have a child with another person and especially if that other person is an active part of your child’s life, you are going to have to share these things. and you were going to have to let go of the idea that you can control how those needs are met and how your child is raised. There are times you simply don’t have any say anymore. and that is one of the hardest parts
which isn’t to say that the disappointment is invalid. It is absolutely valid. It is a sucky part of co-parenting
just make sure you frame it correctly and leave the disappointment and its proper place: a by-product of an imperfect child-rearing arrangement
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Did you tell him that you wanted to do this first with your son? And that it was important? He’s probably not a mind reader and doesn’t know you’re disappointed because it’s his first for something you wanted to do with him.
Girl a kindergarten supply list is LONG, EXPENSIVE, and VERY SPECIFIC! Just let him buy the stuff, chances are, if he doesn’t have the list, he won’t buy the right things anyway. I WISH my ex-husband would buy literally anything for our kids!
But he wants to buy the stuff. My ex husband has never spent a dime to this day for our 3 children.
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Appreciate the fact that he is helping. It is difficult to co parent. I can say my ex husband was a good dad to our daughters. He always helped above his required child support.
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Yes u have a right 2 be upset as ur feelings matter too. 1st things are a big deal but compromise he buys supplies who cares, the more important thing is that u get 2 see their face when u drop them off the 1st day or get 2 meet the teacher and drop the supplies off. Talk 2 him and maybe go with him. make a family day of it? Put ur differences aside 4 their sake. Honestly it sounds like he just doesnt have trust 4 whatever reason that u won’t spend the money on what u say u will.
Ask him to give you a gift card to Walmart or something! Or either ask can you meet him at the store so you can be there to help pick stuff out
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Let him get it, just appreciate he’s doin something, most ex’s don’t bother even trying to help. See what happens first
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He will be excited to show you what he picks out. You can help him do the “set up” writing his me on stuff. Cutting tags. Packing it up. That’s important too.
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Maybe he is excited too !! Lol .
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As long as one of you bought what he needed, that’s petty stuff to be cranky about, next time ask if you can go with him to buy what he needs. At least he isn’t one of those deadbeat dads that buy or do nothing for his kids
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Can you say high conflict baby mama or HCBM in the making. You asked for help then when dad helps you don’t like the way he’s helping? Is this really about school supplies or is this about him not handing you a wad of cash? How sentimental can picking up crayons and pencils be? The first day of school outfit, getting him on the bus the first day? Yes but definitely not supplies. It boils down to either you need the supplies or you don’t. Learn to pick your battles otherwise you are in for a very long and toxic 13+ years.
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Wow really Maybe be thankful that his buying him what he needs
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Not enough to be posting it on Facebook to try and justify your feelings… 
Man I swear some moms act so entitled when it comes to the father of their child. You CHOSE that person to parent with whether it worked out or not.
Fathers have feelings too🤦🏼♀️
Obviously everyone is entitled to feeling bummed out- but to be that upset about something when you’re requesting money from him to begin with- it is 100% his right to want to go and buy the stuff himself. Your child is still getting the needed supplies that you’re saying you couldn’t provide yourself, so just be happy your child is getting what’s needed from the other parent.
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School supplies break the bank… it’s easy to spend just as much on school shopping as it is Christmas. I’d be happy he’s going to get the supplies. There are also many churches that do supply give aways right before school starts. Look into any in your area.
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Girl. Chill.
He wants to buy school stuff. He’s Dad. He’s allowed too.
I’d be happy with what he did. Yes it sucks, but I don’t blame him buying it instead of giving money.
We don’t know the other side of the story here. There may be a reason Dad is doing it instead of giving money.
At least he’s helping you.
Jesus.
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Your feelings are valid but I’m gonna say let this one go cause this is a very small part of kindergarten and your child having what they need is more important than who bought this or that. Please don’t think I’m minimizing this. There are still plenty of firsts to look forward to experience with your kiddo 
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Go with him then. 
It’s for y’all’s kid. You both want to do this for the kid. Just like you would both wanna be there on the first day of school most likely. But I wouldn’t worry about supplies. They don’t use most of it in school anyways.
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This is about your child and their first school year. Is there any way you BOTH can put your child first and feelings about eachother aside for a few hours to get supplies? I’m sure your kifs would be so happy and you both would get to experience it.
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Is there a way you could maybe both go together and get the supplies. I understand the mom wanting to do it but have you thought that maybe dad feels the same way? Maybe he doesn’t want to be left out either. Sometimes when parents are not together you have to either sacrifice moments or you have to buck up and do it together for the kid.
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At least he’s in his life. My son’s father raped me and my son and his twin who passed are a result of that. My son who is living will never have the opportunity to have a dad like this. Please be grateful for his dad helping. There’s obviously a reason he didn’t want to hand you cash.
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Why not ask if you can go with him and your children to get stuff?
He’s also a parent. He has the same excitements as you.
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It’s not your ex’s job to care about your feelings anymore.
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You have 12 more years to buy supplies. I think your emotional because you just had a baby and maybe some guilt about not being able to do it yourself. Be glad he has the desire to get it.
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If it’s that big of a deal could you guys set aside your personal issues and maybe both of you take him to pick out supplies
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Wow you are freaking ridiculous
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Offer to go with him
He sounds nice for offering to pay for everything. I would be greatfull.
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Yeah, you should be happy that he’s buying the stuff for you. I’ve been wishing for 14 years that I had that kinda help with my son. And it’s his money, you said you needed school supplies, what’s wrong with him buying them? Trust me, school shopping has and never will be a sentimental thing, it’s aggravating af.
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It’s looks like a lot of people agree that you should make it a together thing. This is the first of many things y’all will have to do together. You had a child together you raise the child together even if you are not. The best thing you can do for your child is put aside any bitter feelings and at least respect one another around the child. There are going to be school activities, sports, and whatever else. Why not start here? Co- parenting is so much easier than being bitter and jealous.
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He’s your ex? Does he pay child support? That’s supposed to be used for those things as well.
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Ask him if you can go
Let him buy the supplies but ask him not to put any in the backpack so you can do that yourself. That way you still get a 'first time school’s experience without having to deal with the crowds of people buying school supplies 
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Lmao 
quite being selfish and grow up for your child. Seriously, life is so short & you’re freaking out about school supplies. I can’t even.
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No supplies needed for most schools.
Ask him if you can go help pick stuff out
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So I dont have any rude comment or how dare you critisism I think alot of people forget what being a kind person looks like. My sons dad and I do not talk unless its about our son and something major like changing time or bahavior/school concerns and weve been apart about 9 yrs. I get your bummed about that first excitement stuff. I also commend him stepping up and getting it. Even thou u miss out the shopping maybe you both can go 1st day (drive seperate) to take him/pick him up the next 12 years of school only get more costly! So what we do is I pay for supplies and lunches on my week he gets school shoes and lunches on his week and we both each get some school clothes for our own houses
It tends to even itself out. I know emotionally it can be heart aching but time goes so damn fast before u blink he will be a senior just make every tiny moment count the memories made are what you and he will remember not so much who paid for what I promise.
I see both sides of this. To me, the logical thing to do would be to put aside your differences and go together. This is part of co-parenting.
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Be grateful… that ‘ish is expensive! You’ll still get to help him get everything ready and be there his first day.
I know its hard but your son needs supplies and will get them. you will have so many firsts with your son and get to send him off on his first day and that is way more special.
If your unemployed and unable to get the supplies then just let him get the supplies. Its not a big deal. You can walk him to class his first day instead. It’s just school supplies and half the time they just mix all the supplies together in the classroom. He is also doing what you asked. You needsd funds for supplies and he is offering to get them.
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If you only needed some help. Maybe make a day out of going to pick out his first day of school outfit and some shoes. I would just thank him and move on. Most single mothers get no help now a days.
Be thankful he’s helping out and trying to eliminate more stress on you. But if it really bothers you, return the school supplies and get a refund or gift card and turn around and shop for the school supplies yourself with your child. 
but kindergarten doesn’t even require that much. Good luck!
Yall should put aside your differences and go together. Life is short. Kids grow up so fast and there’s only so many firsts you’ll get to experience with them.
I would have been upset if my husband got our son’s school supplies without me (my son is starting school this year for the first time as well). Helping them pick out their backpack and notebooks is one of the best parts of school starting.
Child support and keep
Your legs closed
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Awww you sound like a awesome.e mum who wants to be there for their child’s experiences. Completely understand, however your going to have to let it go. Try concentrate on the fact that dad is present and capable of parenting your son also. This will be only the beginning of many compromises you will have to make. You win some you lose some, just remember what it’s all about. Your boy comes first.
Be thankful that he says he will do it, he could have said no and no to buying the things he needs.
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Be Glad he’s helping you out! If you wanted YOU should have figured something out before now!!
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Here where we live you just buy the backpack and lunch box the kids can also have school breakfasts and lunch. If I were you the most important thing to a child is that when they around there parents they do not want you two to fight especially over them. Time spent with a child is better than spending money on them.
For me I would like awesome can you drop them off so I can cover them and label etc.
That’s the best part and you could make it a tradition!
Honestly the kids don’t care at that age who bought what
Where are you at you still have to buy school supplies? The school buys everything but clothes for our kids. I get how you must feel you wanted to contribute and weren’t able to. Just know you offered and your doing your best.
My suggestion, so you don’t have to ask for money, (because I’ve been there) take him to court for child support. Maybe, a little discussion on what co-parenting is. A lot of theses ladies are making valid points.
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Making this about you and not your child? Cool 
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I don’t think you have a right to be upset with him at all. It’s his money and you aren’t together. I understand though I would hate to miss out on that experience too but you can’t blame him.
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He sounds like a good dad who cares about his kid, I would not be upset at all.
I don’t think he’s trying to hurt your feelings…
sounds like he’s trying to help you out especially if you just had another baby maybe he’s trying to save you the stress of having to go shopping with a newborn as well. Maybe trying to get some one on one time with his son too??
We don’t know his side of the story…
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You lucky he is helping, alot of people don’t get that support.
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You could be in a position where you don’t have someone who wants to be helpful and contribute. You could just be alone and struggle entirely. You’re making this about yourself, your kid will be going to school with everything he needs and that’s something to be thankful for.
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Let him buy the school supplies …he’s willing to help…buy ur own for ur son…if u feel that way…I have 4 kids and their dad don’t help.at all with anything…if he want to buy.supplies I would let him
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Buy stuff anyway. He might need replacements
As someone who dealt with coparenting my first kid going to kindergarten, just let him buy the school supplies. I know it sucks to miss out on that, but you’ll get plenty of other big school firsts with your child, and buying the supplies isn’t a huge thing to miss. My ex made me miss my daughter’s first day of school, and that was rough. But at the same time, I was happy he was being a good dad and parenting her
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Try and do firsts together. You know how many actual in their lives dads miss out on stuff because of their work schedule or bad coparenting relationships? A lot!! I totally get the mom excitement. I don’t drive so sometimes I can’t attend things. It isn’t fun but my ex and I find ways to make it work. In any thing of what it is because we both want to fulfill the excitement we have for seeing our kids grow.
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You aren’t working, you have a baby…be thankful!
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Find someone,be it a friend or family to help you buy for your child.Take it easy,I know how baby blues can make you feel sometimes.
My daughter is starting kindergarten as well her father and I split when I was pregnant her him me and my husband are going clothing shopping together as a group why not all yall meet up and go show the kid it’s about him not you or your ex?
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Lol. What’s the problem? He wants to get his kids school stuff…you said you don’t have much money…but yet you’re upset that he’s buying the supplies?? Guh …if my kids dad EVER made the effort to buy even HALF of their supplies, I’d be grateful for that reprieve. Now, if you still want to get some stuff, go ahead. Get the kid some extra, special supplies just from mom…a pencil pouch with their favorite cartoon, a super hero backpack…stuff like that. Then you can still feel involved and connected
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This is about your son not you
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I would just be grateful your son has supplies to start school with despite dad buying it for him, you asked your ex for help and he did just that
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It’s good he’s willing to do things for his child, allow him. Am sure he’s excited as you are, you can just help him with a list of things needed so that he doesn’t leave out anything.
It’s alright, be happy
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I guess I get feeling upset, but honestly my oldest starts kindergarten this year and we just pay the school a flat fee and they supply his supplies Aside from a new backpack, I’m not doing any school supply shopping and his backpack we ordered online. If you can’t afford it, but the other parent can, and it’s getting done, then consider it a win for your kiddo and move on.
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Don’t complain school supplies aren’t cheap. Be glad hes offered to buy them. Id love it if my kids dad offered to buy their school stuff. Joys of 0 support
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You could always give him a list of supplies to get and you get the things you want to. Then you both have part in your child’s first year of school
Be grateful that he is a dad who contributed when there are so many out there who does not care that much.
Allow him the opportunity, there will be many more ‘firsts’ that you will experience without his dad in the presence.
Enjoy
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No to me that feels like control. If he’s taking your son letting him pick things he likes that’s one thing but I’d ask for the money so you can get him things he will want. Going school shopping is fun for the child. They have their own personality they are gonna want things that look cool to them. How is this not about her and the child. Mom raises child mom puts in the work mom should have say so over what child brings to school.
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Remind him to get the stuff i started qorking 3weeks after my daughter was born. Do what you gotta do to support thoae kids qithout hia help. Yes it would be nice to be a stay at home mom but you so not want to be under hia thumb. And if he is paying for it you cant be picky. Set aside you want all the first moments you need to be able to survive.
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Call Salvation Army. Theres many places that give out for free. Plus even the schools provide for the ones that cant afford’it. That’s one reason we pay taxes. For childrens educations
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The people saying “just be grateful”….why? What he’s doing is a control tactic, it’s manipulative, and a way for him to try to prove that you can’t support the child, he can. To do what…? Lower child support? Go for more custody? Alienate the mom in the kids eyes? This isn’t ok and shouldn’t be tolerated.
You have a couple of choices. 1. Buy the supplies and send him a copy of the receipt asking for half back within 30 days.
2. Buy the supplies slowly, don’t ask him for squat (I did this for mine and kept a cart full of supplies for during the year. Just bought a couple things every now and then). 3. Contact the school or dhs and ask about school supplies. They often hand out a backpack full.
4. Give him half the list and let him buy half.
5. Make an Amazon wishlist with your kiddo and send him the link.
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You stated your unemployed and can’t afford them. Send him the list and tell him to pick up your son so he can have fun with the process. As parents we need to do what’s best for the children and put our feelings aside. He’ll get what he needs and he will be happy. Be greatful.
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Advice…your child won’t remember who buys what. They will remember who takes them to school or the happy dance when they get home. Don’t focus one money. Give them what you have to offer. The note on the mirror when getting ready. The note in their lunch of reassurance. Money is easy… don’t get caught up in it…let others spend their money and feel important…
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If he’ll do it, let him. What difference does it make as long as the child is taken care of. You can buy for the new baby.
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I let my ex buy the school supplies if he wants. He wife texted me today cause she is going shopping Wednesday which I am most grateful cause I have to use the money we get in August for my daughter’s oral surgery. Now my husband’s now ex wife will call for money an we tell her no that will we buy it an she gets mad cause the money wasn’t going to go to his daughter it’s all her an she gets child support we dont mind buying things for his child cause if we buy we know she has it an we cant trust her mom to do same. I have been divorced since 2012 we have 3 boys together one has already graduated an they never cared who bought what but who was there that’s the most important thing
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Don’t complain, First, you don’t need his permission to buy ur son afew things, items. Second if he wants to spend money take advantage and treat yourself or you buy him some clothes. Don’t turn a positive into a negative.
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There will be plenty more years you can buy the school supplies. I understand it’s something you have wanted to do for your little one but please just be thankful and considerate of a father trying to do the right thing. At the end of the day what’s important is that your child is t going without.
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Why don’t you suggest that the 3 of you (dad, son, and you) go to the store together since this is Kindergarten and it’s a once in a lifetime thing, this way dad can pay and the 3 of you can check off the supplies on the list. It’ll set a good example for your son and then you guys can get ice cream after and talk about how exciting it is going to be starting school. Then part ways and THANK his father for being A GREAT DAD! The man knows you can’t afford it and is willing to pay… BE HUMBLE AND KIND. Show your son that there is nothing but kindness between you two.
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At least he is helping you with stuff . Just tell
Him thank you and do it next year !!
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I totally get where you’re coming from mama’s.
My daughter will be in kindergarten in September as well and I was looking forward to buying all of her school supplies.
But how I look at it as, not everyone can afford to get school supplies or fancy stuff. They want ALL of the kids to have the same things and feel included. I can’t imagine sending my daughter off to school with things that she doesn’t really like because we could only afford certain items, and she ends up getting teased for not having a cool pencil box or having the right kind of binder or whatever. That way all the kids have the same exact things except for backpacks of course so they can all feel included and no one gets picked on teased or bullied. That’s how the situation needs to be looked at. I totally understand how upset you are about it but honestly at this age, kids won’t remember who buys school supplies… they’re going to remember who’s dropping them off every day at school and the friends that they are going to make and everything they will learn. The school supplies isn’t important, it’s the Friendship education and socialism that’s important.
If you feel that you need to do something how about you let him buy it all and you label it and get it all together for your baby to start school and both of you will have a piece at making his first day memorable
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Look my mom and grandma decided they wanted to buy my boys school clothes and supplies guess what my husband and I said go ahead fine by me it helped us out a lot
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Get order for child support stop asking for what he is legal order to pay -" new laws increase child support " -
Those supply get dump in tub everyone uses them - how public & private school works " -
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