QUESTION:
"So my 4-year-old daughter, who cannot read yet, came home from her dad’s with a shirt that read “Love my Dad.” Of course, this is an innocent thing, and she does indeed love her dad. I’m having some guilt about feeling upset by her wearing that shirt when I’m with her. If he was a better, more present dad, then I probably wouldn’t mind. He is also very bad at thinking about my feelings (a big reason why we parted in the first place.) Anyway, what I’m trying to get at is this: am I overreacting to this shirt? I will simply send her with this shirt next time he has her and not say anything, but the lack of thought on his part hurt me inside.
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"It’s just a shirt… Now if he sent her home with a shirt that had something vulgar then I get being upset."
"To answer the question, yes. I do think you are overreacting. It could be that someone bought the shirt for her out of love for the dad (i.e. family member). Try not to sweat the small stuff with him. You separated for a reason, so don’t feed into it."
"Not at all, I had this with my ex, he portrayed himself as the daddy of the year when his family was visiting but the polar opposite when they left. When we split up he would do the same put T-shirts on her saying daddy’s girl etc and it would rile me up because I know the truth. It’s their way of getting a rise out of you. It’s taken me a while not to react to certain things he does and see it for what it is, pathetic attempts to get to me. Have you tried keeping a journal? It has helped me get all my feelings out and process them. Sending hugs"
"You’re overreacting this isn’t about you. It’s about him and his child. He doesn’t have to consider your feelings. The same way you don’t need to consider his. Why don’t YOU consider YOUR CHILDS feelings and just focus on that."
"You are absolutely overreacting! Why are you putting this negative energy out to your daughter about her dad?"
"I would say, learn to pick your battles and what to exhume your energy on. This is definitely not the battle to fight….there is nothing wrong with it (in my opinion)."
"Get over it. You are going to have to deal with the fact that, she infact, does have a Dad, and that she also loves him. Channel your hatred for him into something more productive."
"I mean it sounds like he’s at least involved if he gets visitation, that’s more than some of us can say about our baby daddies. Be thankful he loved her enough to get her this shirt and that your daughter loves her father enough to wear it."
"To me it shows he loves her and is proud they share a bond! You should be proud, not upset."
"The shirt and the words on it have nothing to do with you. It’s a father trying to express something towards his daughter."
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