Hi… so I am pregnant with this guy, but I feel no romantic feelings for him… I thought I loved him. He treats my son like his own and is more active in my current pregnancy than my ex ever was…but I don’t feel anything. I feel just numb. My ex was horrible to me…cheated, mentally/physically abusive, made me move away from my family, the list goes on. But I loved him. Like, way more then he deserved. Now I have this new guy who is trying in his own way, but I feel nothing. The only issue with him is that I’ve asked him to stop drinking, and he did for a while but is back at it again, drinking a 30 bomb a night…when he drinks, he is mean and spiteful. Calls me names like cnt, btch, stupid… and the next day he is always apologizing about what he said, but he hasn’t stopped. Tells me he loves me more than anything but can turn around and do this kind of stuff. I tried to leave to just think of things, and he said if I leave I am never allowed back…he won’t let me go to my moms without him, calls me constantly at work, says I’m cheating because I was trying to hide what I got him for Christmas… I had to show him my phone every night when I get home too just to keep from fighting. Starting to make me think there’s an issue with me. Why do I keep picking these guys? I grew up watching my dad beat my mom, cheat on her when I was three. I remember him choking her till she passed out… it’s like a constant reminder that I won’t ever find a peaceful relationship. I just feel lost. I want to love and be happy, but I feel nothing. I’m stressed so much that I’m not gaining much weight. I’m really nervous about my unborn son. What kind of life will he have if I can’t gain weight? If I can’t find peace? Is he hurting, or is malnutrition really affecting him? I don’t sleep and can’t keep food down. I’m losing my hair. I feel like trash. I just want to feel something other than anger or depression. My doctor gave me some depression pills, but I puke then back up every time. I just…I guess I just want some encouragement that things will get better. Cause I don’t believe myself anymore when I say it… I can center myself with my older son and just be calm when I’m home alone with him, but the second my boyfriend gets home, my nerves act up, and I panic. Like, full force panic attack sometimes. I haven’t had one since my older son was three months old, and I left my ex and drove the 15 hours home in winter from South Dakota to Washington. Is it me? Is it my pregnancy hormones making me a little crazy? Or do I really have reasons to feel this way? Has anyone gone through this?
U have a pattern of leaning towards bad men or men with bad habits. Love urself more n make u happy. No need to stay where ur not appreciated or truly wanted.
Things will get better. I strongly suggest counseling to deal with the trauma you experienced.
Listen to what that voice is telli g you. Get out while you still have a chance,
You definitely have major red flags… that are telling that this is another abusive & controlling relationship…it looks like he changes when he drinks,watch out for physical abuse next… I would get a plan together and start saving $$$$, so can leave 4 good… if worse comes to worse you can go to a shelter for domestic violence,or get your family to help you if they can…
Run and run fast this is the beginning stages of domestic violence you do not want to bring a child into that or have your son see that and think this is OK to treat women like that. No matter if he profess his love if he can go into a controlling person in a spin this is never gonna get better it will get worse even if you have to be alone for a time it’s better to find yourself to learn to love yourself before you can get into a relationship find support groups for domestic violence victims you will learn so much about this situation to help you move on with your life in confidence
Honey, read what you wrote again. This is a classic abuser. Get out and never look back. Nothing will ever get better.
walk away. this man doesnt show you love or respect. He doesnt deserve you or your son. Show your son your no ones doormat
Leave this new guy. You deserve better and you will find the right one.
Your poor children. If you knowingly expose your children to such behaviour you are guilty of child abuse.
LEAVE!
Please leave him before he does something to you or your children.
Leave now. And please try to get professional help for you and your son.
I grew up watching my father abused my mother physically and emotionally, and he fathered kids with at least 3 women that I know of, no way in heck I was gonna let any man abuse me like that, I honestly think you pick these guys cause you don’t want to take care of yourself, for what I read on your post, they are taking care of you and your children, heck the government can do it and you don’t have to love it, JS.
Listen to your gut feeling , do not ignore the red flags
Get help
Before it’s too late
Take time to be single, to learn to love yourself and realize your worth and take care of your kids on your own, you have to break that cycle or your kids will end up doing the same damn things. Been there done that , then learned to love myself and went to therapy for me it worked.
Run don’t walk U deserve better!! Too many red flags!!
He will never change !!!
Leave, leave soon rather than latet
Been there…Leave now it will never get better…
Please leave. I did this for 13 years. I stayed single for 3 and got the therapy I needed and out of nowhere I met my now husband who is no where like my ex. U have to focus on u and ur kids. Things are only going to get worse.
You deserve better than him. From what you describe, he sounds like a narcissist. If he truly does have narcissistic personality disorder, he will never change. There is nothing you can do to help him. He is beyond help. He will always have NPD. He will only get worse over time. Look on the internet about NPD and educate yourself. You deserve better.
Drinking is relaxing for most of us. Slow walk him, ease him off of it. Replace it with something else. Like, stop smoking, chewing gum, chewing on stick jamacians like, etc. Party trigger smoking, drinking, etc. Good luck 
, lming going to the party…
There is Plenty of help for single women! Run back to your family if at all possible! Drunks don’t change! I was married to one for 15 years! Get out now! He Will hurt you and your children sooner or later. He’s already grooming you to be under HIS control!
Run fast dont put him on birth certificate. That doesn’t mean you have to exclude him from child life but based on what you said definitely supervised
Leave!!! He isn’t mean because he drinks. That’s who he really is on the inside. The drink just opens the door. Seriously, don’t even question yourself anymore… you must leave or you’ll be way more miserable down the road.
You cannot force feelings, they are either there or they are not and your main concern is those beautiful babies of yours, if they grow up seeing you treated that way they will in turn grow up thinking this behavior is ok and acceptable. Sometimes its hard to break away from a situation like that but you need to think what’s best for your children’s future. Sometimes people make great parents but not so great partners. Feel free to private message me if you need somebody to talk to, 100% confidential xx
Look in the mirror and read this post to yourself there is your answer Love you and babies a real Man will treat you Lovingly
Run sweetie as fast as you can
Leave now or he will kill you and the kids. Family
There are resources for help. I have been in abusive relationships and needed some serious counseling and help but I’m proud to say that I have stopped
The cycle. I have a man in my life who is careful in how he treats me and let’s me express what I feel. I am even a little hypersensitive because of what I’ve been through and he is understanding and patient. It took me a while to understand that abuse was not love but glad I did the work to get there. You can get help and get away. You should not have to deal with this. I developed fibromyalgia and literally will get sick if I’m in any kind of toxic environment and do even when I’m not so that probably helps me stay away from them also. Which is messed up but I try and see the positive in my situation. Please get help and do not subjugate yourself and your children to the unhappiness. You will be fine, he can not do this to you and you should not let him, please get help and stick to your guns. There is help available for women in these situations. Please get help and know that you WILL BE FINE in time💖 Hang in there hun and do the right things. Do not continue to except this treatment, you deserve better💖 Again you will be fine once you are away from abuse for a while. There are good people in the world who won’t hurt you. Bless you and your babies and I wish you the strength and best💖
Dump his ass and stay true to your kids - the right man will find you, not the other way around. Trust this, I promise. Gods got you 
Get out before the baby is born
Praying for you and your children
Please leave him ASAP! It will not get better with time, only worse.
You have traded one kind of abuse for another!!! All of his behaviors are aimed at destroying your self image and isolating you!!! Classic cycle of abuse!!! Get out before he destroys you and your unborn child!!! You have no feelings for him because what he is showing you Is Not Love!!! It is Control!!!
Leave him and get into therapy!!! Just because one med didn’t work doesn’t mean another one won’t!
I’m telling you exactly what I would tell a patient!!!
Run, Toto run!!!
Love yourself enough or more to leave while you can…tomorrow might be to late…that should not be a question…it’s hasn’t change its not going to change …DONT LOOK BACK…LEAVE
Run and don’t look back!! You got this!! You DO NOT need what he’s offering you.
This man is mentally abusive. Your body is telling you something with those anxiety attacks. Get out and don’t go back!
Don’t sound like he’s got it so great,think about it…
So many red flags.
Let me ask this, your best girlfriend comes to you, shares the exact story you did, what would you tell her to do? Or your daughter?
LEAVE. I dealt with that shit there will always be those promises that will always I mean always be broken it will never change and that’s also mental abuse
You have reasons to feel the way you are feeling. The first step to find peace for yourself and your unborn baby is to leave the creep. He won’t change.
I really believe that Jesus would help you too. And fellowship. Leave first, get settled and find fellowship, it doesn’t matter if it’s at church or a support group. You just need to be in a place around people that want the best for you. But Jesus😉 seriously, don’t knock it till you try it.
I was on emergency bedrest the entire pregnancy with IVF triplets, we lost the third baby due to severe genetic issues that we were aware of halfway through. It was then that my best friend of 20 years ended our friendship in a cruel way, and my mom couldn’t visit as her husband had sudden health problems. Expecting 3 my husband worked a lot of overtime, so I was alone dealing with all this. I too was worried about the nutrition, but the baby is getting everything he needs from your bones, your blood, your body. I was also worried about the negativity that I couldn’t climb out of mentally, and my twins are healthy very happy, very smart, overly kind and thoughtful, I’m amazed at how lucky I am. I’m lucky because my man is warm, giving, loving, kind. Sweetie, love is a VERB. its loving actions every day, a smile, a note, an extra cup of tea, a chocolate bar, someone who cooks you a meal, laughs with you, washes your car, makes sure you feel beautiful and safe and loved.
You deserve that. And your kids deserve to grow up seeing that. Your body is absolutely rejecting the idea of you and him staying together… please watch the movie The Secret, it’s a documentary about living the kind of life you want…
Sending hugs as you navigate through this:heartbeat:
You may like what I’m going to say or not … You answered your own questions few times on the post . You are young, beautiful and have a great future ahead of you with your kids… All you have to do it’s leave before anything happens… God is already giving you signs to leave before anything else happen… The fact that you are sick all the time , loss of hair and not gaining weight means stress beyond your body can resist… Pray beautiful pray so God continues to give you clarity so you can be happy to raise your kids with dignity moral, and values…
Be the example for your kids , don’t let them see or have the same neglected childhood you had seeing your mother being abused…
I’m praying for you ! 
Do you REALLY need a man THAT bad? Good grief! Just get out!
Please get out and take care of your son,baby and yourself. It won’t get any better.
And you are searching for answers you already know so grow up, you know dam well your kids dont deserve that shit
Sounds like another shit its just a different color. Items can ALWAYS be replaced…
LEAVE HIM!!! Stop thinking about it and do it for the sake of the baby, your son and your mental help.
Get of the toxic relationship it won’t change
U deserve a better life for u and ur children. I was ih.n an abusive marriage for over twenty four yrs. It started with the name calling then the BEATINGS. IT CD ALSO HAPPENED AROUND R THREE KIDS. I ALSO HAD TO HAVE EXTENSIVE PLASTIC SURGERY. ON THE RIGHT SIDE FOR MY CKEECK BONE AREA. I WASIN SURGERY for4 and a half hours. I stayed CV and still dealt with alor of physical and emotional abuse. Then finally left. Then months later got with another drunk and went through physical and emotional abuse again. Thought I didn’t deserve better. I left after 4 yrs. Then I finally started feeling better about my self. I have found a man that treats me the way I deserve to be treated as an equall, and a person. U needto get out of this relation ship. For u and ur kids. U need to take care of yourself to be the mother ur kids need u to be. I’m talking from alot of experience. Good luck. I hope this helps.
Run, baby, run. He is abusive. Life is too short for this shit!
You need to get away from this negative influence. Get busy making an exit plan and implement it as soon as possible. If you can move back home, do it. You need the support. Keep to yourself for awhile. Focus all your energy on the child you have now and the one on the way. You don’t need a man to have an absolutely wonderful family. It would only take a man calling me a cunt one time and it would be over.
This is why YOU need to be alone before getting into a relationship to figure out what YOU WANT in a man. Try dating guys out of your norm, and don’t move them in/or move in with them till you have dated for over a year. Babies do not keep a man also. You need to leave this guy before he hurts you or the kids. TRUE LOVE respects and treats you for who you are and accepts all of you. Find it …the rest will fall into place, it’s not always the romantic thing you see but what you feel. Maybe some counseling would help point you into the WHY you pick these types of guys also and help with choosing different. Don’t have babies with guys trying to fix a relationship, it doesn’t work.
You know the truth. Get out and safe. No child needs that atmosphere. Much less , your pregnant self…
The bad never gets better with abuse. It gets worse. For the sake of the kids and yourself i urge you to leave him and never look back. Call the domestic violence hotline you do not have to give your name. They can look in your city to find you help with leaving. Abuse isnt just physical. Just please, remember you have options. You need to go. Sending love and strength.
GET OUT NOW!!! This is classic abuser behavior. Isolation, complete control, verbally/mentally/emotionally abusive. You need a good therapist and to stay away from relationships for a good long while until you can spot these kind of men who can spot you a mile away. Take it from someone who knows and almost died because of it. Do not let your children suffer either. LEAVE!
After the first few sentences, I was shocked to hear the rest of the details. The fact that you think this man is “trying” is alarming. This man does enough for you to keep you attached to him so he can abuse you. This is just the beginning.
You keep picking these guys because you have been subconsciously programmed for this type of relationship by your parents. Changing your programming takes a lot of discipline, self care, and professional help. You will NOT be able to do this around him. As your confidence begins to grow, he will escalate his behaviors in order to bring you back down to size.
I hate to say this, but things won’t get better. I don’t care who disagrees. Once a man devalues you enough to call you such dehumanizing names, anything nice he says is a lie. Go home.
Sounds like your back a square one. Leave him and be single work on yourself first. Love yourself more then him.
Leave now,b friends.but don’t punish ur self
A man should never abuse you verbally or physically! If you won’t leave for yourself, leave for your sons. This is not the example of how a man should treat a woman, that you want your sons to grow up with. I pray you find strength to love your boys and yourself enough to get out of this situation.
You grew up with this son this is all u know please.my dear walk away.get.help u.need it.this is not going to get better and it’s not going.to change
I think in all honesty u need serious counseling sessions , u hve been through a lot and now your childhood memories are coming back because of the abuse u facing right now. U need to heal yourself for your kids future
My darling. You said yourself you’re not in love with this man! You are very blessed that you haven’t already miscarried your baby your carrying. That baby feels everything you feel. Stress, anxiety & all your emotions! Leave this relationship if you really want to have a normal & healthy child. You owe this to your unborn son. You said it yourself!! You are NOT in love with him!! Hes verbally, mentally & emotionally abusive to you… AND your son!! Be done with this chapter of your life and start a new beginning. A new chapter with God’s blessing when your baby comes. Let him be born into POSITIVITY in his precious life 
Leave and be alone. Love yourself before you try to love anyone else again. Once you know how much you’re worth you will not settle for just anyone. Most importantly don’t have any more kids until you know you have the right guy.
Been thru a similar situation, stop making excuses, get out while you can. Have your children grow up in a safe secure and calm home. Alcohol always makes things worse, it never stops, just get out… and know this is not your fault, you do nothing to escalate the suspicions and arguments. It’s him, don’t let him bring you down, put your head up stand up straight pack up, get your kids to a safe place!!
Please don’t let your children grow up in that environment. They deserve better.
First the baby will feed off of your nutrients and when your diet provides none your muscles and tissues will. So stop worrying about that. You need to leave. According to your post these are all controlling behaviors and your son will mimic them all if you stay. Yes it’ll be hard for you at first but trust in god and do what’s right for you and yours.
Stop making excuses for his terrible behavior. He can’t love you and your boys then drink himself into foul words then be sorry the next day! He is an alcoholic, he’s abusive and it’s only a matter of time before you or your boys will be his punching bags. Leave him now! Get yourself and your oldest into therapy. Things will absolutely get better once you have gotten yourself the help you need. You’re stuck in a pattern many of us have been in and many of us have gotten out of. You are stronger then you think! You can and you will do this! You and your boys deserve everything beautiful!!!
Reality check…I’m not going to soften the issue. Read your own statement please… with the first few lines, you should be telling yourself run the other way from this creep that keeps playing you until no end!! YOU and your kids DESERVE better…and sounds like God has given you someone who truly loves you and you’re STILL looking back!!! The issue is not this loser man, the issue is within yourself. You just need to see that you’re deserving of love and not residue…PERIOD!
Please leave if not for yourself then for your son and future child. Don’t allow them to have the upbringing you had and suffer. Do it for your children and be strong. You deserve real
Love
Because of the way you grew up you are repeating the cycle. You need to break the cycle. It’s hard but you can do it. I was the same way and didn’t have the strength until my second childs dad who treated my 1st child like his own for several years decided to go after that child and tried to hit him when he was drunk. Everything ended with him that day and I never went back. I realized I deserved better and so did my kids. Plus what would happen to my kids if this jerk killed me in one of his drunken rampages. Get out while you are still alive. There is a lot more help out there now than there was 30 years ago when I dealt with this.
Get out! Get help! Call domestic violence hotline! You are not safe there and neither is your son or your unborn child. You are being held prisoner and you don’t even realize it. This is why you feel numb… shock and fear! Get out and never go back. Once you get some help and have time to think…you won’t want to.
Do not make excuses for him…GO!!!
It definitely sounds like you need help. You have been through trauma. Multiple times it sounds like, and it’s affecting you in more ways than you probably realize. Go to therapy. And leave the abusive asshole. Your sons are watching this behavior and will think it’s okay to treat woman this way.
Your life won’t get better till you make it better. You want people to tell you it’ll get better, by you not doing a 180 with your decisions. If you won’t accept responsibility and get real with yourself, you’ll keep getting these shitty, abusive guys and fucking up your kids lives. It’s literally all on you, no one can save you but yourself. You have to grow up, be responsible and act right. Your past should not indicate your future, no excuses. You know you grew up wrong, stop repeating the cycle, that’s weak. Give yourself, most importantly your kids, the life you wish you had. Your kids should be your only priority, not your wants and certainly no man. Get it together, cut the bullshit excuses, make much better decisions, your kids are depending on you!
This is clearly an abusive relationship and you need to RUN. Get the hell away from this guy and never loo back you deserve better
I think you already know the answer.
I think you are back to square one hun and picking some low lives. You need to leave. You saw some horrible things you don’t want your son seeing the same xx
Leave now for you and your children no life for either of u hope you find happiness with your self but please leave u can do this best of luck
Please leave. You know the alcohol and verbal abuse will get worse. You will be ok, get away from him
Leave call a domestic violence hotline they usually have walk in centers where you can receive the help you and your children need to get away. Praying for you to get the help you need and the strength to overcome.
You and your babies deserve better. You deserve peace. Stay single for now. Focus on your babies and yourself. Love yourself. There are good guys out there. Don’t settle for less.
U better leave him eh u need think twice hun!!! Before too late. U need focus ur kid and pregnancy.
Sister you are under immense pressure that could be the reason for hair loss.First of all you need to get out of that relationship. You are being bullied .People only do what you allow.Leave that monster. You don’t have to be what you saw.You can and will do better but you must leave that trash behind
Seek counselling because your past is still there and it’s stopping you from doing forward in a healthy relationship. Stop beating up yourself.
Seek help for you and your children.Dont let him abuse you ever again. Get help like now
You are being abused. When you are ready, make plans to leave. Read the book The Gift of Fear to prepare yourself and reach out to local abused women’s shelter for advice/assistance.
I was just about to say I felt the same to you came in with the drinking part
Sounds like you need to leave relationships alone for a while and work on healing yourself.
You are repeating your childhood because it is normal to you. Feels comforting. Get yourself into therapy and get away from both guys.
You are in a relationship with domestic violence.
Call DV Connect.
Then delete the call and browser history. Also delete your sent message to this page.
You know the answer already.You don’t need us telling you
Honey you just want everyone else tell you what you already know. You are aware that this is an abusive relationship you feel it that’s why you’re having panic attacks. It only gets worse from here and you are aware of that too. It’s not pregnancy hormones it won’t get better and I’m not blaming you for getting into this kind of a relationship but I am telling you that somewhere in your subconscious you do look for men with these personality traits because it’s your comfort zone. You need to look outside your comfort zone and it’s going to be hard especially when you find a healthy man who is in abusive and isn’t controlling or rude or have substance abuse issues you’re going to look for a reason or a way to ruin it that there’s just no way anyone could be this good in life. You have to look for it you have to find it but the first thing you have to do is leave. Don’t worry about going back that’s not a place you want to be anyway. If Satan stood at the gates of hell and told you to go but once you’re out you can never come back would you think twice?
The better question here is…
Why don’t you think you DESERVE a real relationship where someone truly loves you and isn’t abusive.
Let me tell you love, it does exist. It is available when YOU believe that YOU deserve it.
Run! Don’t look back! Protect your son and unborn child and yourself. Do not date till you do a year of therapy and fix your self and your “picker”. Because you know what is right you know this relationship you picked is wrong! I am proud of you for reaching out!!
My dear you need to leave this relationship, it won’t get better
He’s an alcoholic & a nasty one at that
Not only does the child you’re carrying need to be in that environment but neither does your son who is presently around this man.
You know the signs of what you don’t want in a relationship, you have to want more & not accept anything less
You need to leave this man as soon as possible.
You are repeating the domestic violence pattern. Seek counseling. Go to nearest church ask to talk to pastor they will help you work through process to get out. Call domestic abuse hotline. Do not get in another relationship until you successfully complete counseling. You have 2 children who need you. Get going.
You get targeted by narcissists. Honestly I’d say leave the guy and vanish. Narcs make you sick bc they’re toxic.
Absolute abuse… You don’t need to be with him… He won’t be a good person to you or your son ever…