Your gut instinct is telling you get away from him & you have OBVIOUS reasons to feel anxious/sick around him!!! Nothing is wrong with you per se but you need to be without a man for awhile get serious counseling etc and build a healthy stable life for you/kids!! It does get better when you stay away from what triggers your anxiety/depression & ppl who abuse you in any way!!!
Girl leave. That’s it. That’s what you need to do.
Love is a verb a action not a feeling people show Love the emotional feeling behind it is a plus
Remember God sends you what you need not what you want so maybe he knows you need this as your blessing
Get out of that toxic relationship then get yourself some counseling.
Run, hon. You’re numb because this is second verse, echoing the first. You deserve better. Your kids deserve to grow up without being taught that this is how life is.
You need to get professional help for you. I think there’s a possibility you have STSD.
I did not finish reading this. I can promise you, you’ll want to leave while the baby is in your belly.
This is so unsafe on many levels. Please find a safe place and don’t rush into another relationship dear. Heal from the others and find love for yourself first.
Lawyer up for the child and leave him, he’ll never stop and he’s controlling
Run! Don’t walk! run!
I say go and stay gone. He doesnt deserve your worst and especially doesn’t deserve your best. You deserve so much better hunny. Pack up n go. Soon.
OMG girl, just leave, been there, done that, never gets better. If you have to go to a shelter, they’ll help you! Just go!!!
Fuck that shit…run as fast as you can…break that cycle so your kids dont grow up to live the same bullshit
Hi ’ l have been here too) it doesn’t get better) PLZ leave him ASAP honey " you an your children deserve a lot better than this ) life is Soo short don’t waste another day ’ being Soo unhappy …
Get out of there as fast as you can! I stayed with my husband for 12 years always hoping things would get better…they didn’t, they only got worse…Leaving him was the best decision I could have ever made for me and my 3 children. I’m not going to lie, it was hard to leave and I second guessed myself every day for a while, but ultimately I know I made the right choice and guess what! I survived! I got a good job eventually and the kids and I were so much happier and more relaxed then ever. Take the leap girl…sooner rather than later. There are shelters to help you through this! Good luck
If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your kids. Leave that poor of excuse of a “man” and love yourself first, do what is best for you and the kids and don’t jump to the next relationship until you’re well established.
Sounds to me like you know what you need to do.
Wow… things turned ugly really quick with this guy. If you feel nothing, then leave
He’s abusive and it won’t get better. Leave now.
Girl from what you’re saying you just need to leave. You panic when he comes home and that’s exactly how it was for me with my ex. Leaving is hard but if you have family reach out to them. You need peace.
Wtf. He’s a loser. Leave him.
Please leave. This was me. Sober he was the greatest thing ever… Drinking he was a bastard from hell. Always sorry thr next day but would always repeat. Get out now.
I’d leave. That is emotional abuse and you don’t deserve to have that. Leave now while you can, before your baby is born. He could try n hurt your son.
You need to leave now it will only get worse
You thought you loved him?? How can you love a man that treats you like he does?? The first time he would have called me those words, I would have left and never looked back!!! Get out now. If you stay, well…that’s on you and nobody else!
Get out restraining order if needed change ur number
Doesn’t sound like love to me. Get out while you can. You can do it.
If you want to see a change you have to make a change. You deserve happiness. You did it once and you can do it again (leave a toxic relationship). You said it yourself, you don’t have feelings for him and he won’t change his drinking ways. Please seek help and take care of yourself! Your boys are counting on you and you are the best mom for them!
So what are you waiting for? Go. And don’t say you love him.
LEAVE HIM! You don’t want your son thinking this is how you treat women. I don’t care if you love him or not, LEAVE! He won’t change, he won’t stop and it will only get worse. My ex husband was exactly the same and now he’s in jail. I laid there one night thinking “This is it, this is going to be my life” The next day I got up, left, closed all bank accounts, signed papers and got my stuff out by the next week. I’ve never been happier. My depression and anxiety was so bad. LEAVE!
A relationship should be your peace, not your constant battle! LEAVE!!!
He is a ticking time bomb. Every single thing you said is degrading and unhealthy and will manifest in other ways. You must go.
Time to get out, it’s not going to change or get any better. If you need to wait until he is not there pack up what you need and leave
Get out before it gets worse
Just prayed for you.
Pick up your bible. This is nothing what God has layed out for you.
God bless you
Get the fk out … Stay with friends stay with family youre a grown ass woman no one owns you
Hes trash, way better guys out there. I meet soo many wonderful guys its amazing how many women stick with the trash ones. Like I swear to you there are great dreamy guys everywhere. Get rid of that garbage of a boyfriend and stop the cycle now.
Just because he doesn’t hit you, doesn’t mean it’s not abuse. Take your babies and go and find your own way in life. If he can’t give up drinking or find someone who can help him give it up, he’s not worth your time. You don’t love him, so don’t waste your time on it
Get out !
Sounds exactly what I just went through and I have 7 month old now
I guess I don’t understand the question. They don’t change. Get out of that relationship! Think of your kids.
IV been there done that was never pregnant but I left and I really looked at my life and thought about what it was I wanted in my so and took time to build up my self esteem again and then I found an amazing person… You should do the same leave it’s still an absuvie realtionship and right now your giving him power and controll over your whole life stop and leave and the next person you find to be with ask him questions like what are you looking for in a relationship where do you see yourself in 5 yrs what do you want out of life how do they view women ect and that should help you gage weather he’s the right one for you as one of your friends their opinion grain insite try to stop the cycle from repeating
Run
It will escalate
Run now and dont look back
You need counseling and go talk to a womans shelter. They will help you. You need to start preparing to leave and they will help you.
You know what you need to do. It will be hard but you can do it!
This is such a toxic relationship and it will NEVER improve. Things will just get worse with time and you will just adjust and get used to it and think it’s normal and it’s not. I’ve been in this situation before and the best thing you can do is LEAVE. you only have 1 life do you really want to continue living this way? Walking on egg shells having him being constantly paranoid etc. Don’t just do this for you do it for your kids. They need a happy and healthy environment. Please seek help from community sources speak to a dv counsellor and get out. You got this
Leave right now. For your own mental state. His behaviour is going to get worse not better. And you dont want to put yourself and kids in any risk ( if his drinking escalates) it isnt worth it.
End this and make a life for you and your children. He will never change.
This isn’t your fault. I mean this in the best, most encouraging way, but yes, there is something wrong with you. But not what you think. You have suffered a trauma that affects how you function as an adult. You need to escape this relationship before the abuse (yes, that’s what it is) escalates, as it inevitably will. Then focus on healing yourself. Only then will you be able to find a spouse that is actually a partner and is beneficial to you and your kids. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.
Run!! It’s bad get your child away from him. You said yourself you don’t love him. You and your child have everything to gain.
Leave. It will just get worse. He won’t change for you. Break the cycle. Keep your kids safe and happy.
Get out fast, he is abusive and an alcoholic. Protect the children and yourself. Love has nothing to do with this situation at all honey. Please get out right away.
Hey sweetie. I worked for a domestic violence agency and have worked with offenders. If you feel safe doing so, you can pm me.
Umm this doesn’t sound healthy at all! Take your babies and leave!
Leave. Please contact a family member and dont look back
Well it seems to me that he isn’t a good guy.
If he treats like that at all, drinking or not… Hes not the one for you. He won’t stop drinking. I would know. Ive been with my husband for almost 16 years, since I was 15 and his drinking has always been a problem. It had calmed here and there but was always there. There was even a while where he said he had slowed down and it seemed like it but I found out he was not, he just pretended to work late hours so he wasn’t around while drinking. Now after a DUI, several accidents, day drinking and drinking while driving… He still can’t stop. In the passed few months I found out hes been going to a bar. Several times he wouldn’t come home, said he went to a friend and got drunk and passed out but later on I found out he went to the bar and drank until they closed and then passed out in his truck. Sometime he says he’s working. Keep in mind we have four children. I don’t have my own vehicle right now. This is the first time EVER all my kids are in school and I wanted my own job for money and something for myself and what do you know… My van breaks, he won’t even look at it, says we can’t afford to buy something else… But he just bought $760 brand new tires for his big diesel truck, right before xmas. I’m telling you… RUN AND NEVER LOOK BACK. Be involved only as much as you have to in order to co parent. My husband is a decent guy sober too, but drinking hes spiteful and mean as a snake. Please listen to me when I tell you things will only get worse and you’ll get more stuck. Please.
Leave you don’t have feelings for him it seems like you tried to paint him as a good guy and then threw in all this narcissistic bullshit he does to you. If all he does for you is stress you out then leaving should be the easiest way out right?
No respect and wont change will only get worse no wonder you dont feel anything, trust your gut feeling. hes using alcohol as an excuse
Hes a narc, get out before it gets worse. I almost killed myself because i was with someone like you are and so sheltered.
This is just all sorts of no…
Get away from him.things will just get worse.
Leave and don’t worry about being with anyone just focus on making a good life for you and your kids that’s it. You’ll meet a great guy when the time is right just don’t let a guy be your focus point.
Girl it wasnt until abt 1.5yrs after moving away and switching my life around .and been submerged in a whole new different environment, got into a relationship qnd for the first time felt truly loved …that I started to have peace and calm down with the panic,anxiety,and cptsd …they reaaly do say not to get into a relationship until you love yourself first…bcif you cant love yourself ,how cqn you love someone else…be there for your son …work on you …it sounds like your keeping your baby? You have to stay strong for your kids …but most importantly you ! …I know your being kept from your family and all support …and your soo scared …but that’s why you need to leave ,there is no one there who can help you …get to a location your safe , and your kids …and start over …I promise you if I can do it you can do it ! The pregnancy will be easier for you …and I promise you will feel less sick too and the anxiety will be better
I wish you the best
All red flags sweetie leave think of ur children and if u feel that they gotta feel it to put them first and run
Don’t continue to fish in the same pond
Get away from him. RUN FAST. He will never stop. A control freak.
Protect your children and leave. Fast.
First, I am so sorry you’re going through this and especially in such a fragile time as pregnancy. Second, you said your only issue was his drinking, which technically he could get help if he would agree and actually do the work. But, from what you’ve explained about the other things he does like not letting you go to your moms alone or checking your phone daily… that’s abuse. He is isolating you. That’s what abusers do. They isolate you from anyone who could possibly see through them. I know this will upset you, and I’m sorry for that, but with him accusing you of cheating and checking all your stuff like that, I’d be worried he is the one cheating. People don’t usually do that unless you’ve given him a reason to not trust you, or that he in fact is cheating himself. I hope that you will get out of this situation. I was in an abusive relationship while pregnant and my daughter is healthy and fine and was at birth, but that was by God’s good grace. Please leave and don’t look back.
Um. Leave. Get counseling. So much counseling. Then try again on the relationship front. But first, leave.
Get away from him! He is abusing you emotionally! Take your babies and leave asap! Stay safe.
My ex stepfather was an abusive alcoholic and it was just my mom at first. The yelling was unbearable but the physical abuse was atrocious and it spilled out onto my brother and I. Don’t let it get there with yours! Take those babies, call someone you trust, pack up what you need and leave the rest, do it while he is at work and run like hell. Tell all your family to keep it under wraps or only tell people you trust. Leave the others out of it. Hide out for a while and file a restraining order if you have to. Protect yourself and those kids! Good luck momma! Family and friends…
Leve now if u dont u wont get to see your children grow up i my self was in this situation for 12 years i was scared i finely got the nerve to leve when my son was 11 months old i couldn’t put my children though it no more
Leave now before things get worse! Leaving the abusive relationship with my bd was the best thing I ever did!
Leave now, staying wont make it better. You need counseling and to heal from past trauma before getting yourself into worse situations.
Okay go get some counselling, you have a lot of adverse childhood experiences, I do too, once you talk to a counsellor and realize why you pick relationships like these and that it’s based on your childhood you can do your healing. Maybe this guy can go to counselling with you. When he’s drinking he doesn’t treat you well, but when he’s sober it sounds like he wants to be a family. See if you can do counselling together and if he doesn’t improve his behaviour, you might have to go this alone. But you will be okay!!! Trust me we have more in common than not.
Don’t stick around if he treats you badly. You need to make a choice to live better. Don’t settle for less just because your mom did. Don’t be a victim. You’re obviously smart to acknowledge these things. So take it to heart and do better for yourself & your children. Your children deserve better. Break the cycle of abuse so that your kids can live healthy lives.
Get out and get help! That’s the best thing you can do for you and your kids. The boyfriend needs help himself for the drinking and anger issues and you need counseling for what you have been through and are going through. Stay single for a bit and give yourself a chance to heal and find yourself.
Try CBD oil for your depression & anxiety.
Come on… break the cycle. You know what you have to do.
Get out and leave. There are good guys out there but maybe you should be on your own for now. It will be hard but you will feel the calm. Your kids do not need to be in a verbally abusive relationship.
You need to to Leave him before he strikes you,and ur son, and if he really Loved you he treat you with respect, stop doing this to you, if you don’t thing’s will get worse,and he will fight you for his Baby this isn’t Love this is abuse, wait til ur over this pregnancy then the physical abuse will start, do this for ur son, unborn baby, he too is suffering guy’s Like this will never change,and if you don’t Love him either then get out of this relationship, why put ur son,and ur unborn baby in harm’s way, ur self as well these kid’s need you still think about them plz end this cycle of abuse before it’s to Late, write down all the verbal abuse,and anything else he day’s get a protection order, make police report’s or recorde everything it will help you to have proof,
Why did u get pregnant? Now a days u dont have to!!!
Omg. It is like you’re talking about my ex. Girl leave him. For real. Don’t show your son that’s how a man loves and don’t waste another single moment being unhappy.
Only thing worse than wasting a year, is wasting a year and a day.
He abuses you and you’re supposed you have no feelings? Why do you guys keep posting this same garbage. Maybe one he treats me like shit a day and you just direct all those doormats to that post!
Take your kids and run! You don’t love him and he’s nasty when he drinks… My feelings are that if you act like an ass when you drink then you definitely shouldn’t be drinking! Life’s to short to live unhappy!
Leave now, work on yourself so you can provide a good home for your kids. And get on birth control after baby is born.
Your still in an abusive relationship. Get out before the baby is born! Stay single until you get counseling!
Get the heck out of there. Hes controlling even when hes not drinking. I wouldn’t want to love someone like that eirher. Get out!
Oh girl if he’s calling you names then it’s already over. Dont take that from anyone, most especially from someone who claims to love you. That’s not love and if you dont feel anything for him then get out now.
Go get some mental help
I stopped reading. Get the hell out of there! It’s not about you anymore. Put the kids first they deserve better.
Um you think he’s nice getting drunk and calling you names? No he’s not, I wouldn’t have feelings for him either…verbal is not ok!!
Honey you’ve got to leave this man. Right away. I know it probably seems impossible but you can do it. Find out where you can get some help and TAKE IT! The sooner you get away the sooner you’ll feel better.
As for picking the wrong men… Don’t worry about that right now. You need to concentrate being the best mom you can be. A relationship can come later. Leave, Get healthy. Have your baby. Be a good mom. Go see a counselor and let them help you. And some day in the future you will look back & see how these choices you’re going to make…have made you a healthier & happier person. Good Luck!
It’s not normal behavior, there are better people. I can say I’ve been in a relationship like this where the man refused to change his ways (is in and out of rehab and always hopping relationships) I got out. Then, I can also say that my now husband and I also had problems (but we both changed) I did also recognize some of my tendencies (this maybe not be the case with you, though)
My husband went through anger management (among other factors like we don’t “party” at all… if we drink generally we are at home and just hanging out.
No one can tell you what is the right choice but guide you based on their experience… at the end of the day if he does not make an actual effort to change actively then … I wouldn’t stay.
Don’t walk, run! Abuse is abuse whether it’s physical, verbal, or mental. The verbal and mental abuse can be way more damaging than physical abuse. You don’t want your sons to grow up thinking that’s how they’re supposed to treat women, do you? Never let someone keep you from your family and friends. You need to stay single until you find out who you are as an individual. Find a Celebrate Recovery group at a local church. It’s for recovering from more than drugs and alcohol. They’re for recovering from abuse, divorce, just bad things that happen in life in general. They will build you up emotionally. I’ll be praying for you to have the courage to leave and have better in the future.
that’s abuse at its finest. when he’s at work look up ways for a mother in an abusive relation to get help in your area. He is controlling you and your letting him, by feeling numbed. protect your babies from that man. do worry about finding a man, worry about your babies, keep your job and i know it’s hard but put your babies in daycare. learn to be an independent mom who takes care of her babies. Then look for someone who respects you for who you are and your babies. tell any guy your with that your babies comes first. Don’t let a new guy into the babies lives until your certain that you found a good one.
Hun, my only suggestion is that you did what you once did before. And that is drive back home to your family. To the people that love and care about you. As you have already answered your own question.
Did your mother stay with your father even tho she didn’t love him? Maybe that’s why she got choked. Why do people waste peoples time if they don’t love them? Ever think maybe he drinks and says those things because he knows how you feel and it makes him feel like shit? I’d love to hear his side of things.
Can you stay with your mom or a friend? You need to get out of there. It’s only gonna get worse for you. He will become more controlling and eventually he may physically hurt you when he is drunk.
Please leav now for the sake of ur son and bump if nothing else. Once hes fed up lashing out at u its them hel turn on. Pkease take care of urself and ur kids and go. He says if u leave u can never go back. Good. Run i say