You’re allowing him too much control over you! To MAKE you do all those things is just crazy tbh. You just need to leave. Bottom line. There’s really no other option cuz if not, your son is gonna grow up watching the same abuse you witnessed as a child. Do you really want that for your kids? You know what needs to be done girl. Good luck.
Get some therapy now and leave this abusive guy. Go to your family where both kids will know what love truly is.
Leave for the sake of your son or he is going to think that this is the way to treat women!
You are worth it 
You are worth loving, you are worth being in a relationship where you are loved and treated with respect. There is nothing wrong with you, you need to love yourself. A man does not define who you are. Take those babies and be by yourself for a while, it’s going to be fucking hard but you and your children deserve way more than you’re allowing yourself to have. Make a plan and please get some help.
Hi sweetie your emotions are part from pregnacy but if he is drinking too heavy and calling you names this is not a partner.Now is the time to get out before it gets worse also he probably wants you to leave on your own so he wont feel guilty seeing you leave .While you can get out while the going is good. Best of Luck with your situation(hugs)
A few things.
The first, you’re still traumatized from things in your past. You need to go to counseling and heal from that. I know first hand that no matter how good of a person you’re with is, until you heal from that you will never have a healthy relationship.
Second, the man you’re with is not a good man if he’s acting like that. He has his own problems he needs to sort out and you just cannot do it for him. Just because he’s not “as bad” as your ex doesn’t make him good.
3 Likes
Run dont live like that
Good lord, leave the relationship ASAP. It’s not fair on your kid.
And if it isn’t too late end the pregnancy
3 Likes
Like most are telling you and that’s to get out. My daughter had just turned 4 when I met my second husband. He was like the sweetest man ever yet the simplest thing could set him off to the point of chocking me, spitting in my face, asking me if I ever had a shotgun yo my head before, sleeping with a knife beside the bed etc…they will NEVER change . I actually thought I loved this man and even married him knowing how he was thinking I could change him. I learned the hard way. The night he head butted me holding me down on the bed, I turned as he came down with his head and got hit on cheek bone. I ended up with black eye, swollen and numbness on right side of my face, and Dr said I’d be very lucky if I didn’t end up with nerve damage down the rd. I tolerated this for 8 more mths because I thought he would change. One day it will lead to this cause along with the physical abuse there is still the mental, verbal and emotional abuse. They will never change unless THEY want to and even then depending on age I don’t think they ever will. Your children don’t deserve all this and your unborn child I hate to say should not ever be around this so called man. If u have family then your best decision of all would be go home and leave him out of the picture forever. If he wants to be in the child’s life let him take u to court, I doubt he’d do that cause it’s not cheap. Make this type of men your past, there is someone out there that will treat you like a Biden and love your children as you do. Sorry for the long speech. I’m 57 and from experience and for your own sake your gonna have to put you s f your kids first. You deserve so much better.
You already know what you have to do but you just don’t want to. You need to leave with just you and your kids and stay single until you meet someone who isnt abusive. Or just stay there and live your life like this every single day
1 Like
I have. You know what I did I left. No one is going to sit there and boss me around.
And no you are not crazy ! He’s doing this so you don’t see how crazy he is. So he’s making you question yourself when your not doing nothing wrong. You need to left ASAP cause it will get worse.
2 Likes
You should leave ,if not for you for your kids it will be hard but you will make it, and you should just take care of you 3 and not get with a guy for a while go home to your family…
1 Like
Get professional help and break the cycle.
3 Likes
You are looking for excuses to leave him. Read what you wrote & make your decision
1 Like
Leave ASAP! Trust me he will not change…I am 54 yrs old and went thru an abusive marriage …I have been out of it now for 3 yrs and I wish I had listened to my family and friends and left before I did…he would call me the same names you get called, he got so he couldn’t keep a job very long because of his drinking, we got evicted several times and it even got to the point for the first time in my life I was actually homeless because he wouldn’t keep a job…and I was stupid because I wouldn’t leave him and go back to tn to my family…he kept promising to change but never would…they were all empty promises…please get out before it’s too late for you or your children…you will find a way to make it and there is help available for you…good luck and God bless you and your kids.
Omg. Leave. Leave now. Then, be single. Get a lot of therapy. Better yourself. Don’t get into another relationship until you’re stable independently
1 Like
You are suffering from self esteem problems you need to work on loving yourself first you deserve so much better you end up with these loser because you feel you don’t deserve better heal yourself first
1 Like
Leave while you can! It’s a sign he’s cheating if he’s going through your phone and doesn’t trust you. My mom has been in abusive relationships so you can find love without the abuse. If you don’t feel anything, now is the time to just leave. Make it easier on yourself so you’re prepared when you have your child. Your child is going to be scared and think behavior like that is okay if that’s all he’s ever seen and known. That will be something that’s constantly passed down. It’s happened in my family for 3 generations. Thank God some of us learned that it’s unacceptable behavior and we distance ourselves. I hope you know that you’re better than that and I hope you find peace!
2 Likes
It wont get better. You have to leave and never go back. And stop having babies for every dude… that’s not love… love yourself first!
4 Likes
Heck yeah I be been through 
it it doesn’t get any better either it gets worse leave him as fast as you can my dad was a alcoholic my ex was one I’ve been through it all my life it makes you depressed 
you to bed feeling depressed wake up feeling depressed it will just get worse leave him alone you deserve love baby that is not love
1 Like
Perhaps if you considered adoption with this new child, so your second abusive ex doesn’t have that extra power over you for life. Also…
NEWS FLASH: you pick these guys because that’s all you’ve ever known, and until you STOP dating, STOP having kids, START taking an implantable form of hormonal birth control, STOP having unprotected sex, and START getting your shit together as a long term, single, independent woman and mother, and START GOING TO THERAPY, none of that will change. Can’t call yourself a good mother until you do ALL of that. Period.
Get the HELL out now
’ The only issue with him is that I’ve asked him to stop drinking, and he did for a while but is back at it again, drinking a 30 bomb a night…when he drinks, he is mean and spiteful. Calls me names like cnt, btch, stupid… and the next day he is always apologizing about what he said, but he hasn’t stopped. Tells me he loves me more than anything but can turn around and do this kind of stuff. I tried to leave to just think of things, and he said if I leave I am never allowed back…he won’t let me go to my moms without him, calls me constantly at work, says I’m cheating because I was trying to hide what I got him for Christmas… I had to show him my phone every night when I get home too just to keep from fighting.’ He is an abusive, manipulative dick, that is why you dont love him. RUN
Sounds like you need some therapy also. Having came from memories of abuse as a child yourself. This guy is no good, but you might not really know what to do with a good one if he came along due to the history. Get yourself together first, hopefully you have a good job so you dont have to depend on anyone, some people stay because their options aren’t much better. If you are self stable financially, get your own place, and spend the rest of your pregnancy preparing for your new life loving yourself, and your children. You dont HAVE to have a man right now! P.S. maybe he knows or suspects how you feel, and when he drinks it all comes front and center.
Js. Good luck
Your still there? Why?
Get out of that now he’s toxic to you and your babies. You grew up watching it do you want them growing up watching it? He’s verbally abusing you and it will get worse!! Leave now before it’s too late… no man is worth that kinda of stress and aggravation. Don’t let your boys grow up thinking it’s ok to physically, verbally, and mentally abuse a person!! He’s not great he’s an alcoholic and he will never change…
Call a shelter. Make a plan to leave with them. Stay single and get therapy. Not having feelings for this man is the least of your problems. Leave before you end up dead and your toddler has no mom. This is not ok.
if you don’t love then it’s not even kinda worth dealing with his shit you have money coming in and some where to just leave
A separation is a good start. Contact your family and see if you and toddler can go there. Don’t get involved with anyone. Shelters can help you too. I planned to get established in my job then got an apartment. My husband wasn’t cruel just never home (several affairs I found out). Hard to leave since I had been with him so long but it was the best for my son and I. You need assistance to get out? A shelter can help you or your family. A sibling maybe? You can do this just check your options.
Get out now!, self love is the key. Follow you intuition. It won’t let you down, but set you free. Best of luck.