Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I believe my boyfriend is obsessed with looking at other women. Should I leave?
He probably has an addition to porn/sex.
Lol people are always going to be attracted to other people outside their partner(s.) That’d simple biology. If all he’s doing is looking, no harm no foul. Who is he going home to, who is he in bed every night with? Be more secure in yourself and in your relationship.
If he has an eye for other women I wouldn’t bother, there is way better guys out there just be patient and you will find the right one 
Then leave. But FYI lots of men do this n more than we like to admit. People give up so easily nowadays because of the internet but what u guys going to do if the internet ever disappears and can’t ask for random peoples advice but instead have to sit down and truly communicate not just saying hey I don’t like it when you’re looking at other females but truly going to in-depth about the reasons.
Better to be looking than touching…
I would leave, he doesn’t respect you. You hv expressed your feelings and he doesn’t care. Sorry
It won’t ever change. He doesn’t respect you.
I look at other women, my boyfriend could if he were so inclined. They’re random women, like porn. If it were people he knew it might be different.
If you’ve expressed your feelings and he doesn’t care to change, then its time to go. Sadly I think a lot of men do this but see nothing wrong with it, because women’s feelings get hurt a lot easier than theirs.
It’s disrespectful and degrading to you! Leave! Like others said above, there are guys out there that are actually respectful and will treat you like you deserve! Been there done that! Too many people in today’s society act like there’s nothing wrong with this type of behavior and there is, especially to the degree he’s doing it! Don’t let anyone minimize your feelings or distaste for this!!
Leave. That’s incredibly disrespectful. Especially after being together so long and after expressing that it’s not ok with you.
I’m not interested in girls like that. But I’ll look at other girls with my man. I’ll even point girls out to him. You can get an appetite, as long as you eat at home is what we say!
Sounds like he doesn’t see anything wrong with it and/or doesn’t respect you. Time to set up some accounts of your own, and only friend hot, buff, sexy guys. See how he likes them apples.
You have already answered your own question ……. Leave !!! Run 
!!!
All these comments saying “it’s normal” “at least he’s not touching” “all he’s doing is looking” are disgusting.
The internet ruins relationships because of those type of mindsets, period.
If you’ve expressed how it makes you feel to him and he still continues to do it, then he does not respect you. Respect is a major component in a healthy relationship/marriage.
9 times out of 10, “just looking” turns into way more somewhere down the line.
Only an idiot would tell you to stay at this point.
Deal breaker! I’d leave. .
I think everyone has different views on this kind of content, but if it makes you uncomfortable you should listen to that and have a conversation with him about it.
Yes…he knows how you feel and still does it, so get out while you can.
Most likely they’re fake accounts not sex workers, men are too gullible on social media… If you can’t handle it, you’ll just end up making you both miserable as he’s not changing.
YES. for sure leave him so he doesn’t have to listen to your whining All the time… it’s just part of life so deal with it or leave. Really not tough decision
He should respect how you feel which he clearly isn’t doing
It has nothing to do with you nor “being enough.” He isnt going to stop…if you really cant live with it, you need to step away. If you think it’s you, PKEASE LI EAVE before you s po end the rest of your life competing against something he has already shown you he cannot stop. You will lose yourself. It is not you.
If he doesn’t delete it then it’s an issue. Some men are addicted to porn and it’s foreplay for them. It’s almost innocent if it’s just pictures I guess but when it becomes more than that like messages RUN
My husband looks at the same things unfortunately and he has become very desensitized to me sexually. Unfortunately once a man has someone else in mind like that what he has he no longer wants and it creates gaps in the relationship. (May not be true in every relationship but that’s how it is for me. And yes he knows how it makes me feel and he won’t stop)
Your last sentence is the answer you’re looking for.
It’s all good and well everyone saying that “guys do it” and “it’s harmless”, but you’ve expressed your feelings and he’s dismissed them! That’s the most important part!
We also have to realize ere that we aren’t talking about watching porn! These are real life day to day people that can be contacted with just a simple click. And also these are women that often don’t respect relationships, as it’s their job 
My husband can watch porn all he wants, but if I found he had random sex workers lurking on his Facebook or Instagram, I don’t think I’d be too pleased about it! There’s no need!
In my experience with guys and porn, and from what some of my hot guy friends tell me… the guys who are really into porn, only fans, or post racy shit in all guy groups do it for a few reasons…
- They addicted to sex. But the more they watch the more they need it to get off. Its like any other addiction.
- They wish they could have a female like that was attracted to them. So its a self esteem issue.
- They cant get it up or have ED issues. So they watch it because they cant have sex.
- Some dont know how to perform in bed and think that what they see in porn is what women want.
Ive watched my share and its been a turn on in the past, but nothing beats having the real thing for real satisfaction. If you aint gettin it good, find you a man who literally only desires you. They exist out there. Somewhere. Some of my best guy friends recently told me, that if a man truly loves, cares for or respects you…he wont look elsewhere. Guys like this will miss out on the girl who only sees him and only wants him. Ive been there. So I know what its like to not feel like enough.
If it’s happening now it’s not going to stop. If you can’t live with it then yes one of you have to go
Everyone is so quick to say run lol everyone looks at the opposite sex don’t tell me you don’t
Save yourself the extended heartache & leave… you are going to end up draining yourself.
Point blank he doesn’t respect your boundaries. That is reason to get out.
If it makes you uncomfortable and you have voiced that then he is completely disregarding your feelings which is a much bigger issue than what he is actually doing.
You deserve to be treasured and valued. You won’t have to to compete or beg for the attention from the right one. You already know what you need to do.
Yeah you need to listen to yourself. This is not normal or okay. He needs to figure himself out or waist someone else’s time.
Doesn’t matter where he gets his appetite long as he eats at home
He sounds like a pig. He doesn’t respect you or your feelings. You definitely will be enough for the right person. Protect yourself and your pretty little heart. LEAVE.
You’ve already talked about it and he said he would stop but hasn’t so it seems he doesn’t care too much about your feelings
good luck finding a guy not addicted to porn
It’s unacceptable behavior
If you have already spoken with him and he hasn’t changed he is disrespecting you.
No one can tell you what to do but it’s sounds like he doesn’t have boundaries
All men lust after what they can’t have
Leave, it’s him it’s not you. He has a problem bigger than you could ever understand. He is addicted and he is not going to change until he is ready. At least you know now and not 10 Years down the road.
If you stay together till middle age he will still be looking at young women and you’ll still be not happy with it, the good news is by then it will probably be virtual reality so he’ll have his headset on and you wont have to stare in his eyes and fake intimacy either
If there is no kids involved leave you deserve better he always will look at other woman
If you have to ask you already know.
Then u know ur answer
Your opening sentence says a lot, but the reality is that your bf is likely a sex addict. I recommend s-anon or al-anon for you. S-anon is for spouses, partners and families of sex addicts. Al-anon is for friends and family of alcoholics and other addicts. Between the two there are tons of virtual meetings.
It’s just on the internet at least he’s not out there with them
Why are you letting them be competition? I’m never gonna look like J.Lo or bunnie Xo or Ashley Graham. Be confident in who you are. He may be addicted to porn. That is very hard to break. He may not think it’s such a big deal. Either way, don’t lose your sanity over it.
Do you think he’d cheat?
At the end of the day 2 things are true…
Men are visual creatures. That’s basic science.
And, if it bothers you, go.
At the end of the day it is up you but I would personally leave especially if it has been brought up more than once
Its up to you if you want to tolerate this or not. He isn’t going to stop. So it is your decision if it is a deal breaker or not
Would you still react the same if he was looking at mens magazines?
I lived with something similar for 10 years, and I ignored so many red flags that are so similar to yours. If you’re not comfortable now, please listen to your gut and heart! He’s never going to stop, you deserve so much better!
To even be asking the question & wondering about it,u already know the answer,so get out already
Holy shit! I literally sense a prude… Let’s get real here without me minimizing this woman’s question completely…
First off she claims they are half naked. Not nude! It’s not porn or even nudes! This is a guy thing. Not every guy, but a guy thing none the less.
Her use of the term disgusted or disgusting more than once is telling of severe prudish views… But this is the dude she got with and he with her??? If you end it then honestly you will be doing both of yourselves a honest favor. You so you won’t have to be with someone who sounds like a red blooded American male… And him for not having to be with such a prude. Again, free country and not suggesting you concede your views or standards, but again, it’s not nudes or porn! If thats all it takes to “disgust” you then your tolerance is pretty low.
Good Luck. Try a church maybe.
I’m sorry but following sex workers is disgusting and a HUGE turnoff
I’d leave for sure
He is disrespecting your (very valid) boundary. Which one will he disrespect next, your personal safety? This is a dangerous game to play, run as fast as you can. Also, you don’t knowingly hurt someone you love, in fact, you do anything to prevent hurting them. What he shows you is not love hun, you’re a convenience for him. Stop letting him use you.
He obviously has a problem that he needs help with if no seeking seeking help then h get off the sites or I am leaving end of story
Of course you should leave. He doesn’t love you or respect you.
Don’t lower you standards because everyone else has. Because men get the green light because “it’s natural” and “boys will be boys”. He can take notice of the opposite sex (which is natural for everyone) while also respecting your boundaries. If it’s THAT hard then sounds like he has a problem. Don’t ever think that because something is OK for other relationships that you have to follow suite and tolerate it. You deserve to be happy.
So so thankful my man only has tiktok and Reddit lol. And all of his videos are video games books and occasionally a girl but nothing crazy like that. 
find a man that doesn’t give the world his attention!!!
if he’s addicted to it he most probably always will be so it’s really down to you whether you can tolerate it
Leaving is your decision, but I can tell you from experience no matter the amount of crying and begging and talking you do, they don’t stop.
Boy Bye 
if he can’t respect you or your boundaries it’s likely not going to change. And in some cases it can escalate into physical cheating. I wouldn’t keep going through this cycle with him anymore. I would not be able too deal with the lack of respect. Please go find your happiness!
As long as he’s not reaching out to them or touching anyone. If he is JUST looking what’s the big deal? Let him fantasize! If he is a good man overall you have to make compromises
You know how you feel . It’s not your thing . You want to be that man’s person . Not the 2nd choice to the eye candy he lives for . Find a partner who also wants that because there is nothing wrong in what you need in a man a relationship and a partnership. He is not going to quit for you and he eventually will hide it and he eventually will act on it . That is who he is. You’re not the woman that gets off to him looking at other women before he is with you. Make your choices and go have a happy life for your or stay miserable with a person who does not really love you or he would not continue after numerous discussions. Most people who ask for some type of confirmation know what the true answer is in their heart and mind and you know what the true answer is. Leave and find a better partner in life for the kind of life that will make you happy. You have one life .
What I’d do is test the water
So like do what he does make louds of online acounts tik tok Twitter ect
And only like guys half naked
Ect see how he reacts
If he doesn’t then upto what you do but if he does react and kick off day ok well only doing what you are and av told you it is hurting me and you don’t care until I do it so either both delete our accounts and stop this or am walking as you only don’t like it when I play you at your own game!
X
If you have to ask you already know the answer. He’s most likely making other ones to look single and meet other woman. I’d leave and get yearly check ups with your gyno for absolutely everything. I know someone who had a similar issue and she thought “it’s not like he’s actually meeting them” then I found him on an active tinder account he created while living with her and sent it to her she was heart broken.
Honestly, If you have zero commitment to him why stay? It’s more about your morals…if it goes against what you believe in…then yes without question leave. His addiction will only get worse. You’ll never trust him and he’ll never respect you
My boyfriend did the same and I clearly told him if I wake up tomorrow and you still have those social media I’m done with you do that shit single I woke up and it was gone deleted … I find it disrespectful af I mean it would be a problem if I did that so check him girl
If he knows it upsets u and continues to do it then its wrong… Maybe leaving for a while would make him see sense? hugs
Red flags! If your gut is already knowing this, leave! I think ppl always look at other ppl but this is totally different… we teach ppl how to treat us plz dont stay
If thats a BIG NO to what you find acceptable. Then remove yourself.
Your boundaries should scream louder than your desire to people-please.
Betrayal Trauma Support 
It’s a respect thing I personally think it’s a like a form of cheating when it gets this bad. Everyone seems to be a sex worker now with only fans 
Does he know he’s acting like a creepy man by doing this
I definitely wouldn’t want someone who’s doing that
Choice is yours…put up with it for ever or leave right away because these types will NOT change even if they take another birth. Trust me
It’s in a man’s nature to lust after what is unattainable, looking is normal, yes very disrespectful if he is looking at others when your by his side, but it’s when phonecalls and meetings happen that I would be concerned, pick your battles, this one is harmless
My oh said that from a mans point of view he’s been told already that it makes the girl feel uncomfortable and he’s already gone back on his word so she has full right to dump his ass
I think you need to have a conversation about why he is looking at other woman and how it makes you feel. It’s not a competition with you as these women are not what he wants as he wouldn’t be with you if he wanted to be with that type. It is human nature to admire the human body, it doesn’t mean he wants to cheat or doesn’t love and appreciate you.
It’s not like he is on dating sites or tinder or anything else.
If it really makes you uncomfortable, maybe also have a look at what it is that you uncomfortable about with him just looking at pictures of these woman.
Don’t lose your confidence, hang in there hun and maybe gets some relationship counselling to get to the bottom of it all 
Start posting pictures like the women he likes on social media lol
I wont put up with sneaky at all. You deserve better
From a male point of view…
He doesn’t respect your boundaries…
When you love someone if that person says this behavior hurts me and they continue its a lack of emotional support… Obviously some women try and manipulate the spouse to stop fishing or go football etc erc which is wrong… . However having half naked women on your accounts and seperate accounts is a major red flag 
Imo he’s a slezze and shows no respect…
Put it this way I’m a single male and get friend request all the time of half naked women and I remove there request… So obviously he as issues and tbh shouldn’t be trusted… Grow a backbone and make it clear if this continues your ending the relationship… At least then you will know your worth and can secretly prepare to leave…
Yep, I left this exact situation. Other girls along with xbox took nr 1 spot
Men cant help themselves they just have to look even if their woman is better they will still look at other women and whores on the internet
Move on sweetie, your better off on your own.
Aside from the problem that your values and your choices on how to be in an exclusive monogamous relationship do not match, you’re not on the same page, you do not want the same things etc. Your real problem is the lies and deceit every time he says he will stop, delete, or change. Understand that he is just telling you what you want to hear and there is no action behind his words. Stay and you sign up for more lies.
This personally breaks my boundaries and whittles trust down. If you’ve already talked about it and it’s still happening, he doesn’t respect you and he won’t change. Saying that from experience.
You will never be happy with this clown!
I would of been gone don’t waste any more time on him he has a problem don’t make it ur problem too.
More and more guys are waking up and realising that pornography has been and still is degrading and destroying society… Leave your loser coomer cuck wannabe bf and get a good man that doesn’t feel the need to touch himself like a slow chimp constantly. A lot of guys are upfront about this now. They understand the damage it does to them and that this “pastime” is absolutely not like enjoying sport wtf. Zero tolerance.
Does he provite message them?
I’ve always been told if you have to ask. You know it’s wrong. You already know. Confirmation from everyone won’t make It easier. It’s an addiction…a difficult one to overcome in our society.
Leave, thats cheating!!!
This is something that I dealt with for years with my husband and I didn’t make a big deal about it but recently he started getting more involved and got catphished and was doing stuff with Bitcoin and sending money and stuff like that and one of them ended up posting pictures saying it was him of very private things posting them on multiple social media accounts and telling him that she would remove them when he sent her money and he did this like three different times and over the course of a year I started getting fed up with it and our marriage really started failing and now we are divorcing
I think I read this question every day from someone different and that is why I’m single…
Girl you need to run and fast… you deserve someone who respects you, and shows you by their actions that they love you and only you!! Get some self-worth and self-respect… walk away, trust me you can find better!!