Think about it this way… you are getting abused, even in front of your husband and he doesn’t stand up for you. Regardless of mental capacities, etc. What may happen to your child? You need to protect your child. Abuse is not acceptable under any circumstances, but your child won’t be protected by your husband either if he won’t protect you. Also, your child is learning that you can and will be abused and are expected to take it. Are you willing to risk that? It’s a no-brainer to me. It won’t get better girl!!
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Tell him it’s you or them. Leave if he doesn’t or can’t make a choice.
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My mother in law was the same way. Until I showed her my back bone I have, and let her have it. 
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I would tell him to talk to her and explain that her behavior cannot continue or she’ll be cut out of your lives. You can’t allow that kind of treatment and don’t deserve it. You have a child to protect even from family if they are toxic. If he won’t put his foot down with her then I’d consider leaving as a last resort.
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I lived this life for 13 years… She would bust in my house call me awful names be mean to my children and my ex husband would not doing nothing about it… One time she bust in my house telling me I was an awful daughter-in-law Calling my kid’s names it was completely horrible… I told her one day you’re gonna be driving by and just waving because she said this was her son’s house and she will do whatever she wants to do when she wants to do it. Long story short that bitch just drives by and waves. Hes gone and she’s gone . None of my children will even go visit her… He moved in with her after the divorce and she would label all of food with her initials and tell my children they could not eat anything that had her initials on it. You need to get out of that toxic situation.
NO ONE gets to disrespect you especially in front of your children! That would be teaching them that you deserve disrespect! That is YOUR HOME! Tell her ass to GET OUT and don’t come back till she apologizes to you in front of your children! My MIL tried that ONCE! My FIL and I spoke and he straightened her out real quick! I was always respectful to her but don’t EVER disrespect me in front of my babies! She apologized and we got along very well even after her son and I divorced.
Your husband needs to man up and stand up for you. He’s the problem.
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Get a restraining order against her and have a talk with your husband he should be protecting you. How would he feel if your dad did that to him. I’d also tell her she can’t be around the kids till she get therapy she can’t be trusted with her anger issues. If you don’t give consequences it’ll get worse and she thinks she can do and say what ever she wants to you.
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You just have to stand you ground with her they can be oh so wonderful to handle… lol good luck it it took a couple arguments for her to finally see that she wasn’t gonna speak to put test me some type of way! And my husband and I do not even have children together!
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First of all, your husband needs to stand up for you. Not bc you can’t defend your self just bc he’s who needs to stop this situation letting you in laws know she cant treat you this way. When you got married you form your OWN family, a fam who is your most important thing for you no matter what. So sad he doesn’t do this but you have fhe control of this: call the cops and teach her shes not gonna win here. You need to look for you and your baby. What type of grandma is this one? Sometimes people think just bc you dont stand up to say something they have the right, but no girl. Dont be scare. Show her. Hopefully your husband understands the situation and what he needs to do for YOU…after your decision
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Trust me this is just the start of it. I went through years of this with my ex’ parents and my SIL BIL it is only going to get worse and worse and if he doesn’t have your back now he never will. I wish I had of left when I was first disrespected by his family only it was too late I was pregnant and had hoped it would get better and things could be worked out however narcissistic people can never take responsibility for their actions or what they say and you’ll never get a proper apology from them either.
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Talk your husband into manning uP and move away from the old battle ax.
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So sorry for what you are going through. I went through it too with a hateful widowed MIL. My husband never stood up for me. It was only when she turned her hate on our two innocent little children that I put a stop to it. I did not see her nor permit my children to see her. My husband got it then. She was reduced to talking about us with made up hateful lies behind our back instead of in person.
I regret staying in that marriage over 20 years.
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Delt with that for many years even down to my boys not being my husband’s kids. According to the in laws. Then after that was proven wrong I was accused of sleeping with my fil um yuck I cut off contact to the bare minimum only deal with mil when I absolutely have to. I’ve told my husband that he and the kids can do whatever they want to as far as seeing and interacting but I’m staying away. It’s worked out better for me and my mental health.
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your husband should be the one to handle this in my opinion. let him deal with the Mom. You don’t have to have any contact with her if you do not want to. Your husband should not let her speak to you in that manner. Leaving a loving relationship with your husband is probably what she wants you to do. keep your distance and keep the kids at a distance if she bad mouths you to them. not a great situation but your hubby needs to handle this! IMO
I had a miserable bitch for a mother-in-law
When we announced we were expecting our first child she told me the best thing I could do was have an abortion.
People like that there is no coming back from. They will never change they will continue to abuse you and then play the victim. Welcome to the life with a narcissistic MIL. Get out get restraining order if you husband doesn’t see the problem then he is part of the problem. I’m sure he knows just how she is being it’s his mother. Keep her away she’s not fit to be around children. Keep a log of all encounters with her and get the order of protection and make sure it included you your kids and any third party interactions
Regardless of how your in law is to you, she’s your husband’s mother and your kids grandmother. You’ll regret all those hurt feelings when she’s gone. My in-laws and I had a really hard relationship most of the time. Had a huge falling out and 6 months later she passed away. I’m devastated I never got to have that good relationship.
MOve further away so cant stop in and needs invite,if not its going to continue
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He needs to stand up for you…if he chooses to be willfully ignorant where his mother is concerned, and allows the abuse to continue, then he doesn’t respect you enough to put his momma in her place.
Don’t keep the peace…you can be the bigger person and not go to her level but demand respect from her too. Set boundaries and be consistent…just shut her down. Anytime she makes a negative comment or sly remark…tell her to act like an adult instead of a bully and quickly change the subject. Start treating her the way you would a child acting in that way. Correct and move on. She’ll learn quickly what you think of her without a single nasty word. If she starts getting physical…call the police and let her son deal with it. He’ll set boundaries or tell his mom he doesn’t want her around. If he’s not witnessing these incidents…start recording them audio and/or video
Listen… you’re a mom… don’t let anyone treat you in a way that you wouldn’t tolerate someone treating your kid(s). You are their biggest advocate and teacher…if you wouldn’t allow her to treat them that way… Don’t allow it to be done to you…end of
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Does she have dementia?
Your husband needs to speak to his mother with unkind behaviour that is not be tolerated and if she wants to act like this she is not welcome at our home and he just visit or interact with his mom for your own peace of mind if that can’t ha leave him and let him figure out what is important in life a lovely wife or tanlize and hateful old bitch of a mother that wants to make everyone life miserable
your husband is supposed to be on your side. if he can’t do that, leave.
Make it known she is only welcome if she calls first. NO more show up. Tell her no more insulting and tell her very plainly in very few words (too many words will be ignored), she must leave at the first unacceptable word. It’s your family, your home, your kids happy life. Evil will not be accepted any longer. Don’t depend on your husband since he will not stand up for you, you have to be the law on this one.
I ignore my monster in law. If I have to be around her I kill her with kindness. It pisses her off more when I don’t let her vomit bother me. Just laugh and move on. Don’t engage with her. She can only get to you if you let it. Don’t be a victim. And tell your husband to man the fuck up and say something to her. If he doesn’t respect you enough to say something for you then you say something. It’s your house. My husbands family is not welcome at my house, PERIOD! Step up and claim your house!!
Put a stop to it immediately.
I hope she doesn’t have a key to your house. If so, I would change the locks and put in a security system. You can report it to the police. Even if no charges are laid, it will still be on record. Plus it’s not setting a good example for your children. She might start abusing your children. If push comes to shove, I would separate from or divorce the husband and take sole custody of the children. I would never leave the children alone with her.
Why can’t you cut them out of your life? I cut mine out for the exact same reasons. My boys barely even have a relationship with her but I still don’t stop them from seeing her. I don’t have to see her. I choose not to. 
She was getting her ass beat down if whatever she threw connected with me. The cutlass and manners her mother forgot to give and teach her she was getting it that day. I don’t know how people allow in laws to get away with so much shit. I am not the one 
You married him not his mother!!!
Let me just say this…you already know what you need to do sweetie…always remember WHAT YOU ALLOW…WILL CONTINUE…
If you leave, she wins. Call the police and make a complaint. Get a restraining order. Your husband is not going to step up so you have to get tough. You have been trying to keep peace in the family, but that takes two. Who knows, your husband might be xecretly glad if you confront this bully.
I hate her already. My husband’s sister would always bully me behind my husband’s back, but have his mother mistreat you right under his nose?? Maybe he lets her do what he doesn’t dare do, or he’s a mama’s boy!
Either he puts a stop to this or inform your going to the police and just ignore her.