I Can't Decide if My Daughters (3 & 4) Should Share a Room or Not: Advice?

Motherhood
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QUESTION:

"We have three kids, two girls ages 3 and 4, and a boy that is almost 1.

We are moving into a four-bedroom place soon, and can’t decide if the girls should share a room or not. What would you do and why?"

RELATED QUESTION: Thoughts on Kids Having a TV in Their Room?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“As someone who has shared a room my WHOLE life if you have enough bedrooms for each kid I definitely say their own rooms. All I ever wanted was my own room growing up.”

“4 bedrooms… why not give each kid their own room in their new house to make it special?”

“Let them share the room as they are still young. When they get older they can move into their own rooms… I would use the extra bedroom as a toy/play room for the kids.”

“I personally believe a child should have their own rooms (if able) as I find they need a place where they can tell their other siblings to leave them alone or have toys that they don’t want to share in their own room.”

“We bought a 5 bedroom house and all 3 of my kids are still in one. Even though they all have their own rooms with brand new furniture and beds they are all still in one. But once they get older they will go into their own. But we also went from a 2 bedroom where they were all together.”

“My boys aged 5 and 3 are currently sharing as my daughter is in the nursery. We don’t have any other rooms for everyone to have their own. I personally hate it. The youngest like to stay up a little later and sleep in and the oldest needs earlier sleep as he gets up so early. They wake each other up. One snores and wakes the other. It has been a nightmare since we put them in the same room, I say separate if you can.”

“If they get along really well, I’d keep them together. I’d even ask them what their opinion is. My 4 & 5-year-old daughters have the option to have their own rooms but they choose to share! It leaves us with a guest room as well which is nice.”

“Ask them what they would prefer, and make a plan from there!”

“Everyone should have their own space if you have room. They can choose to room together but there should be space for them to be alone.”

“My girls each had their own rooms but then we realized they always slept together so we turned the additional room into their playroom! One room stayed clean and the other one-well it was a playroom.”

“Why don’t you ask them? At 3 & 4 they should be able to tell you if they want to share a room with their sister. Ask them separately in case one says no and feelings don’t get hurt.”

“I’d separate into their own rooms. Maybe upsize their beds to doubles. Or get single bunk beds. So if they wanna sleep together, the option is there to share the bed. Cuz with their own rooms they get their own space. Then if one is sick, it’s easier for them to rest and such. Or one isn’t keeping the other up, etc.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

22 Likes
2

Why do they need to share a room? 3 kids and you is 4 bedrooms…

4 Likes
3

Sure why not until they fight all the time :woman_shrugging: they may not be able to handle separate rooms right away

1 Like
4

If I had enough rooms, I’d want all kids to have separate rooms .

2 Likes
5

It’s ok for now but as they grow they will want their own privacy

6

We have a 4 bedroom house and my three boys share a room they arw 9 ,8 and 6 and my 2 almost 3 year old has her own room

1 Like
7

Just ask them if both say yes then great if one says no then there’s your answer. Ask them separately thou.

1 Like
8

Why share a room when reach of you could have your own room…

2 Likes
9

We have a 4 bedroom house and 9 kids. Our 4 older boys ages 14, 10,9,6 all share a room, our 3 older girls ages 12,11,7 share a room and the 2 babies ages 3 and 2 g/b are still in our room.

5 Likes
10

I say each to his own room.

1 Like
11

My parents had each kid in their own room

1 Like
12

If there’s 4 bedrooms why would they not have their own space?

1 Like
13

For now it’s easy but as they get older they may want their own space for sure.
I’d want my kinds in their own room and space though if I’m able to give that.

14

Separate rooms if there’s space. Kids grow and mature in different ways/times.

15

They’ll be fine. My one sister and I shared one until we were teens (we were the youngest two). There were 5 of us kids and not enough rooms. Once siblings moved out, we had had finally had our own rooms.

16

I have a 4 bedroom with 5 kids. My 8 and 4 year old share a room and my 15 and 10 year old share. My son has his own. 3 of the bedrooms are the same size. Just as big as the master. My sons room is small but perfect for one

17

If they r use to bring in the same room do that til they get use to the new place. Then slower move them

18

Personally I hated sharing a room with my sister. I don’t make mine share.
It’s eaiser when their fighting, grounded or when they have friends over.

19

I would have them share until there older , the boy and you guys can have your own room and a guest room for 4th room . That’s how I grew up

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20

I honestly enjoyed sharing a room with my sister growing up made us closer . But should as them and if anything make the spare bed room a play room for all the kids

21

I would let them share for awhile, or until it is necessary to separate them, for one reason or another. I think it’s good bonding time for them.

22

Separate rooms never regretted giving each of our girls their own room.

23

We have 3 bedrooms on our main floor and a finished room in the basement. Have 2 girls and a boy. Girls share a bedroom and we made the room in the basement as a play/toy room until they decide they want or need their own rooms. That’s the way they wanted it.

24

I would have them share a room and have the extra room a playroom— until they’re older… then transition it into a Media room for teens— and later a study/office. Have that bonus room grow with them. That’s what my parents did… and my sister and I never needed our own rooms because we were really only ever in the bedroom to sleep or get dressed

25

They can until they decide they don’t want too, unless they are showing signs they want their own rooms already. They may enjoy being together

26

Everyone should have their own space if you have room. They can choose to room together but there should be space for them to be alone

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27

I would put them in the same room til they got older and used the extra room as like a play room for all the kids

28

If you have people visit a lot, I say share a room if they are ok with it. It might be super fun for them. But get ready for them being up at night talking and laughing. Make the extra room a play room or a guest bedroom for now. As they get older, they will want their own rooms, and you can accommodate it if you’re still in the same house. But for now they are young enough that it will be awesome for them sharing a room if they don’t butt heads all the time.

29

3 kids…4 bedrooms…everyone gets their own room. I’m kinda confused how this is a question when there are rooms for everyone.

1 Like
30

Why don’t you ask them? At 3 & 4 they should be able to tell you if they want to share a room with their sister. Ask them separately in case one says no and feelings don’t get hurt.

2 Likes
31

Give them their own rooms unless you want to turn 1 room into a playroom until they get older and decide that they want their own rooms.

1 Like
32

They’ll for sure want their own rooms when they’re older. They can always sleep in the same room during the transition if they’re afraid to sleep alone, and give it time/space to get accustomed to it.

33

I’m ready to pop with baby number 3 any day and moving into a 4 bedroom home but my older two girls are sharing a room til later on. But every time I ask if they would like their own rooms, the answer is always no. When the answer changes, we’ll make the spare room into someone else’s room.

34

I would say it depends on your kids. I am a twin and my sister and I shared a room until fourth or fifth grade and loved it. Definitely when they are older they need their own space but if they enjoy being together I don’t see why you should separate. Ask them for their opinion.

35

Depends on your family. If you’re having them share a room so they can have a playroom, YES. No toys in the bedroom, easier for them to go to sleep at night. If they keep each other up you may want to seperate them.

36

Id have the girls share a room, the fourth can be office, playroom, Guest room. More for relationship building when they become teenagers you’ll need to separate anyway…

37

As a mom of 6 if I had the resources to allow each of my kids to have their own rooms I’d feel blessed. My kids hate sharing. They each need their own space. You wouldn’t want to share a room would you?

38

My sisters and I always shared. 2 to a room. You can always change it later, but they are young enough that they don’t know the difference. You could also use the extra room as a play room then too.

39

yes let them share a room

40

Give each their own bedrooms, since you have the space.

2 Likes
41

I’d have them share and when teenagers then mayne split rooms. Sharing with be good at the younger years.

42

If you don’t plan on having anymore kids id have them in their own rooms

1 Like
43

Ask them. Some kids want to share their room with their siblings. Some kids want a room to themselves.

1 Like
44

Share while they’re young. When they’re pre teens. Split them up if they want to ve

45

4 bedrooms… why not give each kid their own room in their new house to make it special?

6 Likes
46

My girls each had their own rooms but then we realized they always slept together so we turned the additional room into their playroom! One room stayed clean and the other one-well it was a playroom.

47

My daughters have their own rooms and always have but they do like to sleep in the older ones bed together. But if they play too much its nice to be able to separate

48

I hated sharing with my sister

49

For now, yes. They will want to separate soon enough.

50

Share and have the last bedroom a playroom.

51

My husband and I have 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls (3 together and he had 1 from a previous relationship) as of right now we have our boys in one room and our girls in another. We have plans to add a master bedroom soon and let our oldest daughter have her own room because she needs somewhere of her own. Our boys dont seem to mind to share a room. The boys are almost 9 years apart and the girls are almost exactly 5 years apart.

52

We moved into a 3 bedroom with 2 girls. We gave them their own rooms. My youngest would go in her sister room to play and sleep. I eventually gave up and put them together. At that age they usually want to be together. Now that they’re 13/14 they don’t.

53

Girls share you can do some cute things to make each area of the shared room unique for each girl. Then re asses doing split rooms when there teenagers.

54

I have two daughters and they only shared once.One had a very clean side and one had a messy side.The eldest even did a Brady bunch with masking tape down the middle.Give them theirs own space then they can have sleepovers I each other’s bedroom.:blush:

55

We have 4 bedroom house and 3 of our girls all wanted to share a room lol

56

Definitely share! They will have such an amazing bond! I have 2 sisters n we all 3 shared room until we moved out :slightly_smiling_face:

57

Find out state…city laws… Some laws say children of opposite sexes can share a room until oldest child is age 5. Same sex can share a room until oldest hits puberty

If you have four bedrooms and three kids… Why can’t they each have a room.

I have four kids girls 19. 16. 12 and boy five we live in three bedroom apt.each girl has their own room. My son has a bed in the alcove and I sleep on couch.

It’s selfish to make kids share a room when you have extra one.id give my room up before I let my kids share a room.

1 Like
58

Do they want to share a room? Do you need the extra room for something else? Ask yourself those questions and you’ll have your answer.

59

There is nothing wrong with them sharing a room, there is also nothing wrong with letting them have seperate rooms. One plus to them sharing is you could have a guest room for grandparents to have a place to sleep, or a hobby room for yourself, or even have a play room where the toys for all 3 are kept and keep the bedrooms for sleeping and dressing only. My girls shared a room even as teens.

60

Sure. It can be scary for toddlers at night all alone

61

I would keep them together while they’re young. Our 8 and 6 year olds share a room still and they love it 90% of the time. Once they get older and more vocal about needing/wanting a lone time then we’ll separate them.

62

My girls always shared a room

63

Share for now since they’re so close in age and also still young then separate them when they’re ready for their own rooms

1 Like
64

I asked my boys and my oldest whose 5 was like no way lol so they can keep
Their own rooms

65

Share!!! My girls shared their entire life time at home. They are the best of friends now.

66

All my kids like to share

67

We bought a 5 bedroom house and all 3 of my kids are still in one. Even though they all have their own rooms with brand new furniture and beds they are all still in one. But once they get older they will go into their own. But we also went from a 2 bedroom where they were all together

1 Like
68

I would have hated sharing a room with my siblings. I don’t think my kids would care for it either.

69

If your going into a 4 bedroom apt why even ask the question. Everyone gets their own room. Why would you keep the girls in one room til they get older and have your son by himself. There no logic to that.

70

I grew up sharing a room with my step sister and I hated it. We didn’t get along. I would say if they get along sure, but if they don’t, no … we didn’t get along and it was terrible. I loved when she was at her mom’s and I didn’t have to deal with her. Lol. I have friends who shared with their sisters and they loved it though. I think it depends on their relationship.

71

Girl yes, I have a 17 (has own room) 13 (has own room) a 6 and 7 also would hate being apart at bedtime (share) all girls. Then our youngest a boy has his own room. Then you can have a toy room. If they don’t do well together give them their own.

72

My son is 6 and daughter almost 4. They share and love it.

73

If you have an extra room give it to them if they don’t want to share but if they do then use it as a guest room

74

Honestly you have the room for each to have there own room let them they can always bunk together if they want to for sibling sleepover

75

Only my opinion but at 3+4 they would probably still enjoy each others company at bedtime but you have a 4 bed home so there’s np in you all having your own rooms , but personally if they have always shared a room in would keep them together until they decide different , don’t force anything on them they are still only babies

76

Ask the girls what they want to do

77

I had my boys in a room together and as much as they like to have their own rooms now it worked when I didn’t have the space

78

Share while they’re young, they will be comfort for each other, when they’re older give them the choice of their own.

2 Likes
79

If they get along really well, i’d keep them together. I’d even ask them what their opinion is. My 4 & 5 year old daughters have the option to have their own rooms but they choose to share! It leaves us with a guest room as well which is nice.

1 Like
80

If you’re moving into a four bedroom home and have enough rooms for each of your kids to have their own rooms then why would you make the share a room?

1 Like
81

I would have them share while young. Let them split up when older and wanting their own space.

1 Like
82

becos of their young ages, my suggestion would be to let them share a room until they are older and ask 2b in their own rooms ? that way u can use the spare room as perhaps a playroom for all 3 of ur children in the interim😉

83

As someone who has shared a room my WHOLE life if you have enough bedrooms for each kid I definitely say their own rooms. All I ever wanted was my own room growing up.

9 Likes
84

They will still be sleeping in each other’s room , taking turns even if they do have their own room lol.

3 Likes
85

Once they share a room its hard to go back. Better to try separate first

86

Mine share a room :woman_shrugging:t4: they have since the day I had my youngest and they’re 20 months apart. We just upgraded to bunk beds in the spring and they love them :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

1 Like
87

At that age they would share a room their own beds until they get older they will let you know when they don’t want to be together anymore

1 Like
88

Let them share the room as they are still young. When they get older they can move into their own rooms… I would use the extra bedroom as a toy/play room for the kids

4 Likes
89

I personally believe a child should have their own rooms (if able) as I find they need a place where they can tell their other siblings to leave them alone or have toys that they don’t want to share in their own room.

5 Likes
90

Our girls share a room and have been since they were 1.5 and 3. They are four and six now.

1 Like
91

I say their own rooms. Or possible ask. They are young but they still have input.

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92

I shared a room with my two oldest sisters until they left the house. It didnt kill me and it wont hurt your kids.

2 Likes
93

We have two boys aged 9 and 6 and they share a room. Mostly because we don’t have very many rooms in our new place and needed room for new baby. But it’s been really nice to have them in a room together. For bed times, the older one gets to stay up a bit later so they have staggered bed times. But our routine is that at 7pm, we call it “quiet time” and we turn off any video ganes and anything stimulating. They get their jammies on and lay down with their night time snack watching national geographic animal shows or something boring and calming like that until 8. Then one goes to bed while the other one goes to the other room to read his book for half hour or hour until bed time. This way nobody gets the other too excited for bed time and I’m not pulling out my hair trying to get them to sleep. Occasionally the younger tm one takes longer than 30-60 minutes to go to sleep and then they’re in there together talking for a while which can be frustrated but oh well.

94

I would put the girls together yes and the boy separate. Maybe once they’re older let them all have their own rooms if space permits. While they are little, sharing a room would be fine. I would think they would prefer it that way anyways. I shared a room till I was maybe 8 or 9 then I had my own room. Now here I am sharing it with my boyfriend and my son lol :laughing: its kind of funny how u can start off sharing rooms with siblings and then end up sharing again with ur spouse lol.

95

its too early to decided for seperate the room… my suggestion is share the room because of sister brother bonding…its very important to learn how to share ur problem ur happiness with family…

96

Let them share because they are young and make the extra room a play room
God bless your family :heart::heart::heart:

97

I shared a room with my sis until we were teenagers it wasn’t to bad we had our separate sides and we stayed away from eachother lol but when they are little doesn’t really matter until they are teenagers and then they need there own privacy and space

1 Like
98

My twin granddaughters shared a room (twin beds) until they were 7 years old. They now have their own room (full beds) but often sleep together. I don’t care as long as they don’t play in bed on school nites. They’ve gone to bed in their own rooms but I see them together the next morning especially if a storm comes through.

99

they just turned 12

100

My boys aged 5 and 3 are currently sharing as my daughter is in the nursery. We don’t have any other rooms for everyone to have their own. I personally hate it. The youngest like to stay up a lit later and sleep in and the oldest needs earlier sleep as he gets up so early. They wake each other up. One snores and wakes the other. It has been a nightmare since we put them in the same room, I say separate if you can.

1 Like