My son was like this for years he just slowly is growing our of it with a more stable environment and role models around now. Took about 2 years to start seeing improvements.
They probably have lower bipolar Seraquel is usually given for that start out low does and work the way up they will be elligable for ssd at a certain age if they have been in and out of doctors offices mentally Iāll can be put in group homes at a certain age
2 Likes
Judging by your language and how you speak , I can guarantee we are only getting one side of this story. If all of them are shyt, guess what they have in common? You lol parents NEVER EVER want to take any accountability or blame when shit hits the fan.
Take everything away! They get no amenities. Go to the goodwill and buy their clothes. They get a mattress on the floor and sheets blankets and pillows. One outfit per day. One set of pjās per day. No TV, no internet, no cell phones, no extra curricular activities. They go to school and come home to their room. They do homework at the kitchen table. Then do chores and back to their rooms. They can read a book until dinner bath and bed. No good snacks, or mealsā¦ Keep it basicā¦ meats and veggies. After a week or so they can start to earn back their privileges. Kids today are so spoiled and have entitlement syndrome. Nip it!
12 Likes
Group homes take there ss check feed them 3 meals a day. My husband and I have suffered trying to help kids. Mile and miles of driving to help them in the middle of blizzards too. And they are adults Listen if they are old enough and they want to kill themselves itās there call thereās only so much you can control in life It will be 2 percent your fault the rest is on them on them so donāt blame your self for everything
1 Like
Sounds like my house. Cannot figure it out. Just hoping we get through this and end up with decent adults.
1 Like
My second oldest daughter used DCFS to her will her lies caused us to loose all 6 of them (all the younger returned home at 18) and now she is a mother she sees the error, but as a child she used the system and they allow themselves to be used. Once a child realizes they have that hold there is little you can do to make them listen or change. Iām sorry your having to deal with this. Good luck.
4 Likes
2 Likes
Kids learn behaviors from parents.
6 Likes
Ignore the ignorant people on here that immediately blame the parents. I was in your shoes not long ago with my twin boys. Nothing worked. I had them locked up, I tried every kind of discipline you can imagine, counseling, meds, you name it. The only thing that helpedā¦time. they got older and realized I wasnāt going to budge, and they could ruin their own lives and would have noone to blame but theirselves. It took a counselor telling me I wasnāt to blame before I started to give myself a break. You do the same.
17 Likes
If kids arenāt getting positive attentionā¦they will take whatever attention they can get. Mental illness is very realā¦but if they are manipulative are they also entitled? Stop allowing them to run the show. We teach them how to treat us. I would strip them down to their basic necessities and build back up togetherā¦plus get yourself some mental health help for support. Maybe individual and family counseling? Couldnāt hurt.
4 Likes
This is something none of us went through as children. I was always chronically ill with an undiagnosed illness that drs gaslit me into thinking was psychosomatic till I was dying very young and got my diagnosis from a naturopath. Donāt rule out food sensitivities if you have behaviour issues. But for me by boys acting out in a pandemic I try to give grace. This contagion is scary this pandemmy sucks for all of us but the children are missing their CHILDHOODS.
Everyone saying variations of ,āground themā, ābe stricterā etc is criminally negligent. The kids are being deprived of essential social contact.
5 Likes
I almost want to say let them go into foster care and see how well they are treated at home. If they keep threatening it then let it happen
7 Likes
Cut off their phones and internet
Change passwords on everything
Cut out the manipulation and letās get real
8 Likes
Boarding school or boot campā¦
6 Likes
Donāt let them manipulate you with threats. As a parent I totally understand the fear with kids with depression and the threats of self harm but it needs to be dealt with, not let slide because of threats. If they threaten suicide, call the police.
1 Like
Do not listen to everyone who says its the parents. Or theyāre learning it from you. Thatās bullshit. I have 5 children. (1 is irrelevant in this as sheās a toddler so her actions donāt really matter.) They have all been raised the same with the same punishments, discipline, rewards, etc. 2 of them are freaking angels. And 2 of them omg wtf they are just off the wall. They are essentially the same. They manipulate, destroy, have gotten cps involved because of their threats of self harm or to others, etc. As per my other 2 children (one of which was recognized by the governor for character and academics) its not always a reflection of the parent when the child is behaving poorly because thatās not what Iāve instilled in my children. Iām sorry youāre going through that. Best wishes to you. Just came to emphasize to not listen to the others
I just need to say, do NOT send your children to boot camp. I personally didnāt have these issues as a child, but my current spouse did. His siblings were good for the most part and he was always seen as āthe bad oneā. He certainly was acting bad. Doing drugs, not going to school, destroying the house, disrespecting siblings and mom, starting fights, suicidal and seems very similar to your kids behavior. His mom sent him to Texas to live with his dad bc she just couldnāt take it anymore and hoped his dad could straighten him out. This was after therapy, meds, counseling, ass whopping, grounding, taking his stuff, getting sent to a mental hospital after being in a boys home and moreā¦ nothing seemed to work for her either so she gave up and sent him to his dads, who was a shit parent. Nothing changed or helped from what it seems that they tried. He ended up getting involved in gangs, weapons, drug use and dealing and more. Then the dad sent him too boot camp and straight out of boot camp he got shipped back to his mom.
To bring a point to all of this, he is grown now and let me say that when he turned 18 things didnāt get better. He made some shifty choices, in and out of jail. And now as an adult? He is the opposite of what his parents were. ESPECIALLY with our more difficult son. He is KIND and GENTLE and UNDERSTANDING. He will see me yelling or trying to get onto them and he will tell me to breath and go in the other room and he will sit him down and tell him jokes and ask him if he wants to go play video games with him or go hangout with him or ride in the car. And to say he has made a horror show turn into what seems like a miracle is an understatement. He will always tell me he doesnāt ever want our kids to feel like they are ātoo muchā or not enough for not meeting behavioral or academic expectations. He will always tell me, when you feel like you want to rip your head off bc youāve had enough, thatās when you need to just hug them instead. He looks back now and is able to recognize what he needed from his parents that he never got and didnāt know he needed back then(bc theyāre teenagers! They donāt understand what they need!) but he knows now he just needed more attention than his siblings. Every child is different. Some kids just need more of something. He tells me how he felt abandoned and worthless after they kept sending him away. Like no one loved him enough to just stick by him with love. How he never felt good enough. He still has trauma he is trying to work through from constantly being made to feel like a total fuck up and a failure. Everyone one is different, but I just felt the need to share that.
I left my kids as soon as they were old enough. Treat me like shitā¦ Hmmmā¦okā¦see ya. They grew up quick and now are responsible adults. Best of luck
It might start with your perspective on thingsā:person_shrugging:
2 Likes
Where is their father(s)?
1 Like
If the person who posted this sees my comment, message me. Letās figure something out together.
2 Likes
Remind me who the adult authority figure isā¦ All I have to say about it!
1 Like
Iād record them all the time for evidence of their behavior
4 Likes
Iām going through the same thing. Itās like I wrote this myself. If you ever need to vent or anything PM me.
6 Likes
Iād go dark age Iād literally home school and take everything away and go silent unless they spoke good to me until then silence and I know the struggle my older son has rubbed off on the younger one and they test the living hell out of me but thatās what I do I strip everything away and let them know itās a privilege to get things to do and if they wanna earn it they can do it if not so be it also if they make a mess I tell them same thing Iāve literally thrown toys out they left out etc
1 Like
My mum used to tell me teens are worse than toddlers and when my kids were teens I found out for myself and thatās when post natal depression sets in
1 Like
The social media and so called help from counselors ,and human services ā¦these children have learned to play the system. Sounds like Mom has tried everything and some of you are blaming her .
5 Likes
She needs the help,kids need discipline from more then Mom
2 Likes
It doesnāt last for ever Mamaā¤ļø
I wouldāve got my ass handed to me. Wow 
Some of these kids today my gawd. Iāll keep my dogs.
Every time I read posts of kids being ungrateful, disrespectful bratsā¦ I remember when my boys were little, probably around 2 & 6yrs old & I was constantly telling everyone how they donāt listen, and someone looked me right in the eyes and said I donāt want u to get mad at me but they arenāt born nasty little brats, theyāre a blank canvas & every time u interact with them ur painting another strokeā¦ So paint wisely ā¦ I had to understand i was teaching them how to behaveā¦ I had to now undo things I didā¦ It wasnāt easy but im glad I did it when they were littleā¦ U have to set rules & boundaries and follow through with discipline when they donāt listenā¦ My biggest problem was following throughā¦ Good luck momma!!! U got this.
15 Likes
It all start at home !! Kids only get away with what they are let to get away with!! Just like men lol 
Good parenting starts from the time children are born. Thatās when you teach children right from wrong and respect!!
3 Likes
Sign them up for a season of Worldās Strictest Parents. Let them find out how other children live around the world. Or sign them up for Different Bootcamps in different locations so they donāt have each other to feed off of.
For all of you using the maybe itās the patent who is doing something wrong or maybe they havenāt thought of something, there is another variable/alternative possibility hereā¦
It could be the children have mental health concerns that are unresolved or unresolvable at play. If the children have a type of personality disorder, are Sociopathic, etc then it could be far beyond any advice to be given here or boundaries or consequences. I literally just watched a recorded interview case from 2009, where a teenage sociopathic girl, literally pre-meditatedly planned and carried out the strangling, slitting the throat of and then stabbing a 9 year old girl whom her family knew and was āfriendsā with/would play with.
This is the problem with advice that is not professional and objective and assumptions made without all the factsā¦ This is not to say that this is the case or that some of you may not be correct in your assumptionsā¦ What is evident is this mother is overwhelmed. Undermanned as a parent and trying the best she canā¦ It doesnāt sound as if the father/s in this matter are being very supportive in the matter as well. Again, I could be wrong there as well due to not having more information on said matter in regards to the involvement or abscence of said father/sā¦
But letās please get away from the well my kids were similar and therefore this situation must be the same as hersā¦ Some kids are just hellions, while others act out because of parents permissiveness, while others are sadly destined for horrible things in life, sadly. 
4 Likes
drop them in the ocean with cement shoes.
.
2 Likes
Sometimes these so call counsellors, do more harm then good ,my friends child went Haywall, her parents tried different punishment ,nothing worked ,the counsellors told the parents, they canāt take her freedom away or her phone off her ,she was 14 and a bit , so this child had them over a barrel, these kids know how to pull the wool over counsellors eyes and paint the parents bad,the trouble is the counsellors take the word of the child , in the end the parents put her in a home ,but guess what ,she was
Giving freedom, aloud to smoke, and had to be back by 2am ,no question asked ,then her parents found out their 15 year was pregnant, they sent her there to help wake her up as they loved her soooo much , guess who looked after 2 baby and who is still doing as she please , so no itās not always the parent fault, itās our government who has taken away our parents control and the kids are taught in school about their right,my friend didnāt listen to me ,I did try ,If I was this mum ,I would stop doing anything for them ,until they learnt to show her respect, then and only then they might realise everything you do for them is because you love them
4 Likes
Maybe they have resentment towards you for putting them in institutions and having so much āhelpā come in to yāallās lives. All the therapy and counseling & medications can do more harm than good. Just a thought.
1 Like
HOW OLD ARE THEY???!!! You should look into a youth military camp! My brother went to one when he was 16 and 17 and let me tell you! Itās straighten his ass right out! And no he didnāt and wasnāt in the military! But they have boot camps for kids like that! And itās like being in the damn military!
What does their Dad have to say/do about the situation?
Some of these comments make me sick blaming the mother. You donāt know her personally. There are plenty of parents who are very good parents and do everything they possibly can for their children and their children just choose the wrong path and wrong attitude etc. what the hell do you expect from her? She did all the right things to try and get this under control and itās not working. I feel bad for her. Stop acting damn high and mighty and perfect. Stop acting like she was a horrible mother just bc they are being horrible children. Not every child teen etc is horrible acting out etc bc of crappy parenting! 
again plenty of children act out even with the best parenting
Sounds like they need a new step dad
Until you have lived with an unruly hell bent on destruction child you have no idea what itās like. It doesnāt matter what you do, itās never enough or good enough. Itās so easy to blame the parent and there are some who are to blame but not all. Iām speaking from my experience not something I was told or read about. Iām living it right now. Sometimes therapy doesnāt work especially when the therapist donāt hold the child accountable.
5 Likes
You should look into Beyond Scared Straight 
Half joking but seriously Iām sure thereās programs that are less harsh and not televised that may help show them the realities of where theyāre headed if they keep up their bad behavior. They wonāt be kids forever 
1 Like
You need someone better trained with this subject. Seriously, some of these āfan Questionsā are beyond the regular Facebook users capability to give advice. My advice is to get Dr. Phil. He would get to the root of your childrenās bad behavior. It usually turns back to the Parents behavior and parenting skills or lack of thereof.
How did you allow them to act when they were younger? And how old are they now