I can't tell If I am over reacting or not: Advice?

My husband would not go out one on one with another girl even if they where just friends. I would investigate and see what they do when they go on their lunch date and if it’s all platonic I would let it slide, but have a discussion and let him know that there are boundaries when it comes to hanging out with these women and what would happen if he crosses that line.

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Even if they haven’t done anything, by her sending him that emoji, it shows that there is a really good chance it’s gonna happen or it’s happening. If some woman was to sent my man that, she would no longer be one of his “friends”:woman_shrugging:t3: especially since he has a past of that kinda stuff. Nah. Trust your gut.

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There is a sexual overtone that is normal, but he is now on a date with another woman who is single I assume. I think he might be fishing

Lunch has come and gone so what did you do OP?

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Sorry but he should not be having lunch dates with other females if you ain’t there. I have alot of male friends and I would not have lunch with them without my fiance

Ahahahah i would be going off about my boyfriend going to lunch with a girl without me :joy::joy:! :woman_shrugging: your not crazy I am xx fucken speak up woman!!

:joy::joy: he playing you… dont kid yourself man.

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Go with ur gut always!!! And no you are not overreacting

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Kissy face?? Not normal

Lunch dates with another girl without you ? Umm no

Bruh that kissy face means something

You already know the answer, or else you would not even be posting this question…

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In my opinion… the gut is always on point. But that’s just me :wink:

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Has he mentioned you in any of those texts? Like btw I have a woman? Kissy faces are not appropriate at all. I wouldn’t allow it

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He ain’t to be trusted. Go with your gut.

As a woman you do not cross that line if you know your male friend has a woman. That is so disrespectful and he should not be having lunch with any woman that cant be respectful. So I think you have all right to be concerned. Get some male “friends” see how he does with that… Good luck

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I would say go with your gut and talk to him about. If he gets defensive about it then that’s a red fag in itself. Good luck

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I don’t want to sound harsh but why would you ever let your bf/husband go to lunch with a female friend alone? Don’t be naive. Yes, I believe you can be just friends with the opposite sex but this sounds too shady. I would not be okay with this and if he tries to make you out to be insecure about this then that’s wrong. Would he be okay with you texting or hanging out with guys alone? Doubt it.

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Wtf is wrong with you people…who allows their husband to go for lunch dates with another woman…would he allow you to go have lunch or dinner dates with another man. Kissy emojis are you kidding me what’s next??? Oh man. I made it very clear to my husband that the only female he is allowed to interact with are his and my moms, sisters, cousins, aunties and aunts, daughters and that’s abt it…he can speak to girls from his work place ONLY if it’s related to work. He has the same rule for me and I respect that. I trust my husband and he trust me but you cannot trust other people.

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Yeah, no. Go with your gut. A kissy face? If they are just co-workers having lunch then that’s very inappropriate. Sounds like he’s not being honest with you. He had a lunch date with this woman and actually got away with it. There’s more to that story for sure. My ex did this to me when I was pregnant with his child. He said he had to pick up a coworker. So I said fine, as long as I get to go. We get there and I find out she’s a female and was totally shocked. She actually tried to make me sit in the back seat! She had no idea I was coming with. Well fast forward four years later they are now together and have a child of their own. He doesn’t even see the child we have together. GO WITH YOUR GUT. Ask more questions. Poke and prod woman!

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I have a male friend I met just out of high school. Years later we met up again and became friends again. At that point he was married. I made a point of it for her to meet me asap and if I had a message that could be send to either of them (like arranging a lunch) I would msg her. Now me and her are closer than me and him. I don’t see why you aren’t at least invited to a lunch like this. And a kiss face definitely not cool. It’s like ladies code 101.
I think it would be reasonable to tell him that you don’t mind him having female friends but that there are certain types of interactions that are not appropriate. Maybe ask him that she should come for coffee to your house that you can meet her. If he gets defensive at a reasonable request then you know something is wrong.

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Ridiculous that you would tolerate such behavior.

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Trust your gut honey. If it doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. Not to mention any self respecting woman who was above board would not be sending another woman’s husband this😘

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Ask him if you can join them. Then you will know your gut is right based on his reaction.

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My husband does not have women friends. Someone once told me a man and woman can never be just friends, one of them will always have some kind of feelings for the other and I’ve found that to be true.

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Imagine that your best friend was asking your advice on the above and think how you would advise her xx

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My gut instinct hasn’t steered me wrong yet. I say this is unacceptable.

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Co workers don’t give kissy faces to each other. Ever. If my man did that then, well, its over. Told him I would be ok being a single mom vs keeping him if he wanted someone else. I wouldn’t tolerate it at ALL. Follow your gut. You already know your answer. Good luck to you hun. And remember, if you decide to leave, it’ll hurt for awhile BUT give it time and once you go ONE day without crying over him, your heart is ready to move on. Don’t go back just because you miss that “familiar” feeling.

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Gut does not lie. You know the answer already and what you need to do…

Go with your gut. There is a reason God gave us women’s intuition. You are a better women then me. I will tell you there is no reason for my partner to have lunch or text other women. Good luck

A kissy face??? Oh hell no… what the fuck is wrong with HIM for letting the behavior come out of her… women love to blame the woman but let’s be honest… he’s the one who shouldn’t be letting those “ friends” cross that line and for him to not have said anything to her after she sent that? Yeah he’s getting his cake and icing too… so sad I’d be LIVID I’m home while you’re out fucking around? Yeah not happening my dude

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Oh hell no ! I’d make a surprise visit to said lunch “date”
That’s BS

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This while thing sounds so sketchy! That’s just not okay, and definitely crossing a line. I don’t even think you need a gut feeling for this one, it’s right there for you to see

Noo unless she’s a lesbian then kissy face is not ok :x::x::x:

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Let him have his lunch date…and follow in the shadows. It’ll be hard, cuz i can guarantee you that what youre going to see, you will wish you hadn’t. That kissy face SAID IT ALL. There is nothing wrong being a man with many friends that are girls. But this situation isnt an ok one

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Nope he’s either hot for her and nothing’s happen yet or things have happened. I hate to say that but yea. I would either confront asap or think about moving on from this guy, he obviously knows he can do anything he wants in your relationship together. If youve already told him your uncomfortable with him having these lunch dates and they haven’t ended then he doesn’t respect you and your feelings. I’m sorry

I’ve got male friends and I’d NEVER send them a kissy emoji. :grimacing: One thing I whole heartily believe in is trusting your gut.

Always trust your gut. Talk to him about it or even if you’re comfortable enough talk to her about it and let her know to not add kissy face emojis because it makes you uncomfortable. See if you can join them for lunch the way he reacts will give you alot of signs.

I have lunch dates with my male friends and if my boyfriend wanted he’s more than welcome to go to lunch with a female friend. Because we trust each other and know that if the other person tried to be shady we’d get up and leave. The emoji goes to far sure but I’d juat bring it up to her and if she doesn’t respect her place, then sure be mad. But not letting someone have friends just because they’re the opposite sex is toxic and controling as fuck 🤷

Always trust that gut! For some reason when a woman knows, she KNOWS!! I feel like she absolutely stepped over a line with that message BUT he allowed it. Seems he really doesn’t have much regard to your feelings if you’ve had these talks before. Do what’s right for you but please don’t sacrifice your mental sanity for a man!!! There isn’t one walking this earth worth that, I promise!! Sending you a big hug, all the love and courage in this world to do what you have to do to be ok :heart:

Kissy face is waaaaay to far!! I wouldnt be happy if it was me tbh

I have a guy best friend and I would NEVER ask him to come to lunch with me without my boyfriend and without his girlfriend. There’s just no reason.

This leads no where good…

I asked my husband about this question. He said you have nothing to worry about :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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I send kissy faces to my guy friends some times, the fact that he’s told you he’s going and all seems pretty well, plus you said she’s sweet seems find to me. Some of you are a bit mad :joy:

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Trust your gut instinct, if it feels wrong, it probably is wrong. He’s doing this because you have allowed him a bit too much freedom. Now he’s overstepping the, lines of cheating. Confront him

Red flags…listen to your gut. Usually right.

Sounds like with your insecurities a man with a lot of women friends might not be the right one for you. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You can have great chemistry with someone and then still not be the right one. You can be in love with someone and them still not be the right one.

Pfft…:facepunch: no mam, aint no woman coworker or not having a lunch date with my husband without me. Has nothing to do with trusting my husband, i trust my husband wholeheartedly i dont trust these ladies out there. You dont entertain anyone else in a flirting manner other than your SO period.

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No, you don’t send kissy faces unless you’re into the guy. And going to lunch together without you? No wayyyy. That would not fly in my book. I think your being way to nice about it honestly

Trust your gut. And if it makes you uncomfortable he should respect you and not have all these women friends and lunch dates.
My ex’s cousin had a man who had a girl as a friend until she found out it wasn’t a friend. Some people will keep you in the loop just so you don’t bother them so they can be with your man. So please be careful.

My husband ( 2nd marriage) works with many woman ( I used to work there too). I completely trust him but if I saw a woman sending any kissy type emojis - that is a red flag to inappropriateness. Trust your gut. ( I wish I had with my first husband as I didn’t listen and thought I was overreacting but instead was right on).

If you have to dig through his phone because you don’t trust him then you don’t need to be with him. Either trust your partner or leave. Being a psycho stalker isn’t going to help your relationship. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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You’re not overreacting. There shouldn’t be kissy emojis between friends. I’d go with your gut feeling on this one

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I don’t care if it’s a friend or not there’s no reason for lunch dates and stuff if he’s paying for her that’s more of a date than a friend hanging out and definitely not for :heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::kissing_heart::heart_eyes: Emojis that’s ridiculous. There’s a thing called emotion cheating and that’s what I classify this as.

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Girl. He already has done this in the past- of course he’s going to do it again. I hate to be so real with you but you should have left the first time. You aren’t overrracting. You seem a little bit manipulated almost. As if youve been trained a bit to not take this behavior seriously. He’s obviously not trustworthy. Why be with someone that obviously wants attention and to give his attention to other women?

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Fuck no… none of that is acceptable

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You are blind if u dnt think he’s cheating on u! That is so beyond disrespectful omg…
He’s making sure he gives these random friends his time but where and how is his time spent with you.
He has u brain washed into thinking all that is NORMAL🙄
He doesn’t respect u or ur relationship and neither do these other females.
My man wld never in our darkest days be going on a lunch date with some bitch. “Friends” or not

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Those kind of emojis don’t happen between just friends. He will continue to do this, as he has in the past. Run.

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Tell him you eant to join him on his lunch dates

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Men and women can be friends. With that being said.
The kiss emoji is a hard no for me. Theres absolutely no reason for it. Especially this one :kissing_heart:

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Can’t speak for anyone else, but I do not send kissy face emojis to anyone other than my SO and my kids… If it’s all that going on, there’s more of an emotional connection than there should be dealing with a man who is in a relationship… If he feels he needs other women’s attention like that, perhaps he needs to be single…

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Trust your gut. He’s making room for these insecurities and spending time and money on another girl anf sending very flirty signals I wouldn’t put up with it.

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Your not overreacting. As a woman that’s in love , you have that instinct that if hes acting weird you have every right to speak up.

That’s a HARD NO for me! I wouldn’t do that to him secure or not. Respect

He’s cheating don’t take rocket science to figure that out

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My husband would have no testicles if I saw ANY of this…

If this doesn’t raise a red flag to you then I am not sure what would! My husband associates with my “girlfriends” who are all wives of his best friends when we are in a group setting but he would NEVER AND I MEAN ABSOLUTELY NEVER contact one of them outside of that just as I would never contact one of his buddies. It is so out of line and disrespectful. Even though we are all best friends, unless there was an emergency circumstance this is beyond inappropriate behavior for something that is in a relationship!

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Girl I’d dump his ass. Gut feelings are usually correct. I’d go with him and say I wanna meet her.

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You should leave him and have lunch with someone else or as a friend said make it a threesome.

Yeah that’s a big NO from me. That shit isn’t cool, at all. If it’s bugging you he also needs to respect that.
My man isn’t going on lunch dates with no chick unless it’s his sister or momma. Especially one that’s sending him kiss faces. That’s pretty much cheating in my book. He can take ME on a lunch date if he wants to go on one so bad :joy:

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Wow men will always be a liar and a cheater. My thing is follow him. If you know where he is heading. In the past my husband kept texting his female coworkers every 3am in the morning. 1 day I decided to go through his phone. He kept texting her sexy ass. I knew he had a thing for her because I ain’t skinny. He ain’t good looking. But he is more attractive to skinny girls. I comfort him about his feelings. Of course he deny it because to him. It ain’t cheating if he is just text that. Eventually his mom found out. No shit. She didnt have my back. She just say we girls get jealous if you talk to girls. The fuck kind of shit is that. Me. I lost both of my parents. I dont have anyone to be there for me. It stills haunts our relationship. No trust anymore

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You’re under reacting if anything! Throw his shit in the yard and move on.

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You are not over reacting. I wouldn’t like my hubby going to lunch with another woman. He may not have cheated yet physically but sounds like he’s mentally cheating.

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Kissy emojis are inappropriate , it sounds like hes taking advantage of your understanding kind nature seriously who texts missy face to some who just friend. That’s definitely inappropriate and flirty. I’d set boundries if he care he will respect them and stop talking to her

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Kissy emojis are a NO from me. I’m just not going to send a guy friend (especially one with a SO) kissy faces because it sends the wrong message and can be interpreted the wrong way. Also some women send kissy faces to their guy friends AND guys they are fking on the side or are in a relationship. I’m willing to bet he would flip his lid if the same interaction was going on between you and one of your guy friends.

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No for me too. Me and my husband and don’t have opposite sex friends. Lol. Weve been together for seven years and we agreed in the beginning we both were not comfortable with that. And I don’t send kiss emojis to anyone but family when they’re sick my kids and husband.

Idk about all the people and their emoji hate…

I send "I love you"s :heartpulse::sparkling_heart::heart_eyes::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::kissing_heart::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: to almost everyone I know… but maybe it’s a culture thing…

He likes attention. It makes him feel good. He may or may not cheated. And maybe oblivious when girls are actually flirting with him and just see it as other ladies being “nice and sweet”. Talk to him how it bothers you and what would you like your relationship to be. You’ll know your answer there. Good luck🧡

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Sounds like he is taking advantage of your sweet personality and always wanting to see the good in people. You sound like you deserve way better! If it was me I’d trust my gut on this one and not let him talk his way out of it with excuses. If it was innocent and he respected your relationship he would of already set boundaries with the woman and made it very clear right away that wasnt appropriate.

Been there done that and played a fool for to long listening to bs cheating logic. Sounds like that’s exactly what’s happening. Listen to your gut because your right. Get out before this leaves you permanently damaged insecure and unable to have any normal decent relationships due to relationship ptsd for what this ass is doing to you.

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If I saw that I’d tell him to make sure he took a suitcase to his date cuz he’s her problem now :woman_shrugging:t3:. And it also really bothers me that he called it a date. That’s absolutely a no go.

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Nahhh. That kissy face says a lot. Leave him. Once a cheater. Always a cheater

If you don’t feel comfortable with people he is hanging out with (men or woman) and you feel the need to check his phone or texts, then he is NOT the man for you. You obviously don’t trust him and there is NO relationship if you don’t have trust. Even if these friends really are just friends and these lunch dates are innocent, it’s still obviously not something you are comfortable with, so you should just end it.

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Don’t ever ignore your gut. Your gut is never wrong. Ever. Mine never has been I may have ignored it before because I didn’t want to believe it, but it’s always been right. Always. Plus I get having some female friends but not when all your friends are females plus he always seems to be hanging out with them without you? Why can’t y’all hang out together? That shit would never fly with me. You def need to move on

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Trust your gut. Don’t invest any more of your precious time or your heart in a relationship that is going in circles.

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I was married for 5yrs my ex husband was very insecure they play the blame game to make you feel like shit. But yes if a man is insecure of course they are cheating. Trust your gut ive been there & done that i had to learn the hard way to trust my gut and leave i knew things werent going to get better.

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Trust your gut! I have found that it’s never wrong! If you’re feeling some kind of way about it…there’s a reason!

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:grimacing::grimacing::grimacing: girl hes probably cheating. I’m usually not one to jump to that conclusion but its highly disrespectful for him to treat you the way hes treating you. My husband would NEVER make a lunch date with a girl without me there, and we have a very laid back, trusting relationship. Actually one of his friends that are girls has asked before and specifically said “but dont bring meghan” and he was like “:grimacing::grimacing: I don’t feel comfortable with this so uh no.” My husband has friends that are girls too, but he isnt constantly texting them or going on dates. That’s just weird and you should listen to your gut.

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Always trust ur guts

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If you can read the text get the girls number and call her. Long story short I was dating a guy…not serious…his wife called me. I didn’t know he was married so I told her everything.

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Have you ever thought maybe he has insecurities about himself. Maybe he doesnt feel confident hanging out with men, maybe he finds it easier to spend time with woman. Maybe hes not a cheater, just prefers female company, he possibley feels comfortable with woman and able to speak freely without judgement. Instead of condemning the guy to being a cheater or up to no good, include yourself in this lunch date, all you’re doing is making yourself sick over something that could be completely innocent. Or hey ever considered the thought he might actually be gay… who knows unless you get yourself in on that action. I work in a prodominatley Male based work enviroment and do prefer their company because I’m not girly and I can just be myself and they don’t judge me… Good luck

I would say something i am very insecure as well and i probably couldnt be with someone who has a bunch of friends of the opposite sex so good for you for being able to! Still something should be said

How many male friends do you have? Could you just go to lunch with one without any questions? It’s all about mutual respect. If a person knows something would harm their relationship or make their SO feel anything but security it shouldn’t happen.

There’s sooo much more happening there. Yes he is unfaithful to you. No he’s not going to change.

Oh hell no lol. I would’ve been gone. You wanna go out with and converse with other women??? That’s a big no from me!!! It’s not even how the women are talking to him but the fact that he’s letting them talk to him that way. With kissy emojis and shit. He enjoys it. Which he doesn’t give a rats ass about your feelings. If he needs attention from other women then obviously you aren’t enough for him. NOPE!!! BYE BYE!!!

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I don’t know many women who :kissing_heart: their co-workers

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Let him go on the lunch date, with a black eye… then leave.

My husband and I have friends of the opposite genders and but I know his friends that are girls and he knows my friends that are guys. I’ve grabbed lunch with my guy best friend while my husband was at work and we were trying to fix my stupid car. But I wouldn’t automatically say hes cheating. But the flirtation at the end is sketchy. Still not that hes cheating but if I were in the situation I’d listen to my gut. You seem to have found nothing alarming from him but you did from her. I’d discuss that with him. It’s one thing to have friends of the opposite gender but to allow them to be flirtatious is still wrong

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He’s a dog like the rest. They use us any way they can smh. I’m sorry but run!

No,that doesn’t seem ok…but you should really have already known that on your own…sorry…