I caught my boyfriend sneaking around with his ex: Advice?

I have been with the father of my son on and off for the past three years. Well, we recently got back together after being split up for about six months. At the time, he was with another woman for the duration of our split, and he left her, saying he wanted to work on being a family. Two months in, I leave out of state with our son to visit my sister while she gave birth to my niece. A few nights ago, I received a notification from my motion detection really late at night. I decided to check it and came to found out he was talking to his ex. I called him, and he denied the whole thing, said it was a video he was watching. I eventually got him to confess and said he was only expressing our relationship problems to her and also apologizing for leaving her heartbroken. Do you think this is a reason to leave? I don’t trust him at all because of this, and I feel he may be lying about the extent of things. Thank you.


“You can’t love if you can’t trust.”

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I just went through this. Leave

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Girl wtf. Leave. Why is this even a question :woman_facepalming: women will put up with the most ridiculous, disrespectful shit. It makes me so sad.


It’s time to make you happy. Being in trustworthy relationship is important for your child😒. Don’t wait to be broken

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Pack your bags and high tail it outta there.

Apologizing to his ex is one thing but venting his relationship with her is unacceptable.
If this doesn’t say something to you than check the phone record. If u have cameras check the video. Scope out social media, them, their friends, coworkers if you know.
A picture or solid evidence is worth 1000 words.

“You can’t trust him”
You said it all right there. And please don’t fall for him telling you he invited her over to talk about you. Don’t get played


Believe me things never change…

You know exactly what to do


You deserve better!! He’s playing both of you until something better comes along!


Wash your hands and move on!!

Please don’t stay with him hun…I got out of a 25 year relationship with my sons dad bc I felt stuck! Their will be someone who will love you and your son! Love yourself first! The right one will come along and love you! All of you

No you can’t trust him just went threw something similar and at the end of the day he getting both of you he’s a player

It’s a maturity thing

Not even worth the time or effort!!! Drop him like a hot potato!!!

Red Flags Flying High For You To See :bangbang:
Run run fast as you can :bangbang: No trust no relationship :bangbang:


Leave and don’t look back. Not a damn thing is going to change, this guy is manipulating and using you.

He shouldn’t be going to an ex with issues about you … I’d walk away


Leave he will do it again and again and your the only one hurt that’s facts he will always entertain his own needs


Leave him with his ex …no explanation necessary


I think you should probably have a back up plan.

If being on & off over 3years isn’t red flags for you enough, then you deserve to stay with him. There was obviously reasons for the on & off; & honestly if you both weren’t mature about your problems & stayed together to fix them instead of splitting up - there’s the reason not to be together ever again. :woman_shrugging:t2:


Leave his ass. You even asking @fb …you need help girl.

Ok it’s like this he already lied to u about even speaking to her the he confessed. One someone does this to.u now u have trust issues believe me honey it doesnt get better if u forgive him the guilt goes away and hell only.do it again cause he knows your a sure thing .please just move on it will hurt like hell to do so, but hell hurt u all the time with.this behaviuor it’s not worth it.youll.be fine trust in yourself good luck

He’s gotta go. You deserve better than that and you won’t find him if you’re setting for this bs. Also your son deserves to not be in the middle of this, as well as deserves to see his mommy happy and in a HEALTHY relationship. This way he will know how a REAL MAN acts

Pack your bags, get to stepping girl.

Without trust, there is no love. He has her at the house when you were gone with your child…im gone. Sorry. Bye. Keep going and don’t look vack

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He is a hobosexual keeping one foot in the other door if you don’t workout

Damn! I had went thru this as well. You’re better off by yourself :muscle::muscle::muscle:

Once a cheater always a cheater


Leave woman. You deserve much more.

When someone accepts cheating and stays in the relationship the guilty party will dehumanise their partner treat them like shit and totally devalue them as a person and once the cheater gets away with it one time their partner has given them a green light to continue onto multiple infedelities run now respect yourself because he wont

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What would you tell a daughter if you had one in this situation!!
He’s playing you both! An ex is an ex for a reason!
Have more respect for yourself, you deserve better! If you’re asking this question, your doubts are strong!


If you don’t trust him then you have no relationship


Once trust has been broken the relationship is pretty much done,if he has done it once he will do it over and over again. Save yourself and your child from further heartbreak and move on.

Totally agree with previous comments, also if he did it once he will do it again. If priority is to your son and yourself to be in a healthy happy situation, not one where you step out of the door and have to wonder.

I think he’s a lier. He got busted and needed a excuse


Does he know you saw the security camera and still lied or did you get it without him knowing

Just take him back you have before and probably will again. Trust issues . It will never work.

Get out and stop running back to him he sounds like he cheated and just made up a excuse because he knew u wouldn’t leave

I feel like since you’ve been off and on with him, you kind of already know the answer. This may have been the straw that broke the camels back. My ex husband cheated on me and never stopped, he just got better at hiding it. Hence the reason we are divorcing after almost 8 years.


Of course he’s lying, otherwise he would have told you the truth straight up.


Leave ASAP!! He will not change!

It’s Bullshit! You already know the answer now you just need to follow through and stay gone.

No one talks to their ex just to vent about problems with their current boyfriend or girlfriend. That is crossing the line as far as I’m concerned and he would be out or I just wouldn’t go back. Once a cheater always a cheater.


Go with your instincts here


Once a cheater always a cheater!

Leave and never look back. You have been on and off for years, so stop coming back. This is not the first time he’s lied to you whether you know it or not and won’t be the last.

ETA: set a better example for your child so they grow up knowing it’s better to be single than in an unhealthy relationship where you aren’t respected. Your little one needs to see mom stand up for herself and value herself.


Sounds Familiar! Leave !!!

You l could say leave but chances are you will go back and he knows this so in the end it is your decision so here is some food for thought you have a son do you want him to grow up seeing this and think that it is ok to treat women like that or do you want to teach him respect and show him how a lady should be treated because when you hurt so does he so ask yourself do l stay go do l go l myself would RUN


I will be blunt here. If there’s no trust there is no relationship, even if you guys can come to a good place unless you can rebuild it there is no point in furthering the pain.


I don’t talk to my ex about problems. Lol hell no


Trust your gut and go!

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He sounds like a real winner…

A relationship can’t work with out trust

Why stay with someone who you don’t trust?

Well for one, he shouldn’t be expressing your relationship problems, to anyone but you! At all. Unless he was talking to a friend. That was just a friend lol. And he shouldn’t be talking to anyone that he has to lie about talking too. Nor should he be talking to an ex, because he feels bad about leaving her heartbroken or leaving her anyway that just shows there is still unresolved issues or feelings there and it may not fully be over between them. You need to ask yourself, if you can trust him. Because without that, there is no relationship. And it seems like you have a lot to work on. If you guys have kids, an on again off again relationship, honestly isn’t really healthy or stable for them. And sometimes you have to choose your kids and put them first. Either decide to make this the last time. And really try to make it work. But you both have to be willing to try and work out both of your guys issues. Or possibly just call it quits. If you can’t just stay together and not keep breaking up and getting back together. They only hurts and confuses the kids over and over again

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Red flags on both of you playing the games for example for what he has done and 2, your going into his personal space which shows you can’t trust him so leave


He shouldn’t be complaining to an ex about your relationship issues. If the trust is already gone, why stay?

He literally just lied to you… I don’t think you need our opinions. You KNOW he’s cheating.

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Alot of my friends are dumb asses who keeping going back and having kid after kid with some loser who will never respect you and herpes are for life. Leave his ass alone!

Motion detector? So was she over at YOUR home? Or he was coming in late from seeing her? I wouldn’t like him texting or talking w her about our issues let alone her being in my home or him being out w her. Boundaries need to be set, but each time you guys break up and get back together it gets harder to set certain boundaries.

Speak to the ex he maybe spilling lies to both of you

I talk to my ex hub of 23 years. In fact we are good friends and I get along with his wife… Im with a great guy of 4 years and we have our spats. I want nothing from my ex. We Just have a bond and understand one another thats all… idk wish I had an answer for you but I dont. Everyone is different.

I think you need to decide to trust him or not…about everything. If the trust is gone, then you need to leave him. If it can be repaired then you need to give him the benefit of the doubt.

He lied about it at first and you got him to confess?
Leave him baby girl who knows what else he is hiding :disappointed:

I personally wouldn’t stand for that. If you can’t trust your partner then there is not relationship


Out he goes. Quit being his second choice. If you aren’t his 1 and only why are you with him. He is setting a bad example for your son. You will do better with someone else


Why is he still your boyfriend. Dump him. If you dont want to leave him then you will have to tollerate his cheating. One woman will never be enough for him.


Relationships are built on trust. If there is no trust there in no real love in that. Only toxicity.


If he is not being honest with you then you will never be able to trust him.


He lied and it wasn’t even a good lie. Move on.

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LEAVE & FAST. Don’t raise your son to feel that type of behavior is okay. Don’t let him think its okay to treat women that way.


Are you willing to accept a partner that is not able to be honest with you?

Are you able to leave town without wondering if an affair will happen?

What are you willing to accept? What kind of relationship example do you want to show your child? Answer these questions and you will know what to do.


Boy bye. Sounds like he isnt mature enough to be faithful to either one of you. Sticking around enables him and his disgusting behavior. You’ll never find “Mr. Right” if you’re playing house with “Mr. Ratchet”.
In all seriousness, you deserve better.


I think you should leave if you cany trust him…just more heartache later


I believe you have already made up your mind you just want someone to give you justification to stay. Trust your instincts .if you dont have trust you have nothing…

Been in a similar situation. Only in my case it was his “friend who he doesn’t even find attractive.” :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:t3: My advice is to follow your gut. If you have doubts/reservations it is for a reason. Trust is a hard thing to lose in a relationship and manage to get back. If you do try at least you know you did everything in your power to work it out. That is how I made peace with my marriage “failing.” Unfortunately you can’t make someone be committed to you. You deserve a committed man who will do anything to keep you and never put himself in a position to make you doubt him. They are out there.

Throw the whole man away…
He should not feel comfortable enough to be confiding your relationship with an ex…
He is cheating…


No trust no relationship. He wouldn’t have denied it at first if he was innocent


Naw girl… he is lying to you. I bet I’d you talked to her, she would have a different story.


First why would he be tellin an ex about any issues y’all are having? Second, late at night? I’m sure he was doing something, but it wasn’t chatting.


If he needs to be talking to anyone about your problems it should be you NOT his ex.

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Then get out of it because he will continue to lie

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If he didn’t have anything to hide, he would have been upfront and honest.


I agree with the above. Lying and hiding it isnt good. You gotta be able to trust your partner.


He’ll never stop…leave him while you stil have one child…

You know the answer to your own question, leave him.


A real man doesn’t discuss relationship problems to other people especially to his ex. If he is man enough, he will discuss it with you. A man who loves you enough won’t do anything that may cause you to be jealous . Contacting his ex in your absence for example.


You don’t trust him. You already know what you need to do!

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Kick him to the curb you deserve better than that and you know you do don’t stand for him treating you this way. He is totally disrespecting you. At the end of the day you want to set a good example to your son in how a man should treat a lady and by his fathers actions he is not setting a good example. I know it will be hard because a child is involved but your stronger that you think. No trust I think you know your answer good luck :shamrock:

Trust your gut‼️ But think about this, why would he wait for you to leave just to talk to her? Why couldn’t he do it before?

He definitely shouldn’t be talking to an ex about YOUR relationship , that gives her an IN to get the “boy” ( boy because he’s rediculous in this situation) back , nor should he be apologizing to her for leaving her as that’s a positive to her that he feels bad and may want to be with her again. He’s giving her hope to start fresh with both. If there is relationship issues with the two of you , the two of you should be discussing these issues together , NOT him with her. To fix a relationship there needs to be communication between the TWO IN the relationship not an ex. Her coming over late at night is the ultimate red flag. The fact that you’ve been on and off is another. Trust is extremely important in a relationship , you don’t have that , you have nothing. You’ll question everything he does and says from here on out. You had to grill him to get the truth and you don’t even know if you got the full truth. You don’t need to be together to raise a child ( I know). Let him be a part of your child’s life but you should walk away , work on yourself FIRST and your child and when the time is right you’ll find someone to love you AND your child and you’ll never question that love. He’s toxic , and wants his cake and eat it too. Don’t put your child through that back and forth relationship. You deserve better.

Good luck :heart:

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i would let him go two times he did this and for one i believe he’ll do it again.

You will never have peace without trust. To have a happy life you must be in peace with yourself. Trust your intuition, trust your heart.


RUN and don’t look back. He definitely was up to no good. Period.

Do you really have to ask? I think you know the answer

If you can’t trust your partner what’s the point of being together :woman_shrugging:t2: that’s the way I see it.

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