So… I have been married for 14 years. A few weeks ago I found out my husband has been chatting with another woman, making plans to have dinner & see where the night leads them… I confronted him about it. He confirmed to JUST talking to this woman & that nothing actually happened between them… But now listen this man has moved out of our bedroom, he is constantly on his phone (has new passwords & even a fingerprint lock on his whatsapp) and apparently needs to work late after a 12hr shift. He says his not cheating but he also says his not happy & that he needs to live his life but that he also doesn’t know what he wants. It is so frustrating because I am left with no direction. He hasn’t spoken to me in 5 weeks just continues on with his life. When I mention divorce he says fine then in the same breath says I’m throwing it all away. I mean WTF. I am lost because he doesn’t speak to me or has any answers for me…just pretends I don’t exist. Thank you
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I caught my husband of 14 years chatting to other women
Tell him to GTFOut!!!
It’s time for him to go. You deserve so much better. Sorry. Hugs
He’s trying to hold on to all of what’s current as a backup incase whatever nonsense he’s doing doesn’t work out. Don’t sit around and wait. He can choose you and his marriage or go “live his life” without you. You are not an option or second choice.
We all know he is cheating and also holding on to you. He doesn’t really love and respect you so no point carrying the burden of this relationship.
Hes trying to make it your fault. I’d tell him you deserve better and leave or tell him to leave.
You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Don’t settle for less. Take back control and tell him to get out. File for divorce.
Chuck him in the bed. If someone can ghost you for 5 weeks after 14 years they can actually get fucked.
Move on girl
Time to make some decisions that are in your best interest. Good luck
The guy wants his cake and eat it time to get rid
Time for him to leave put all his stuff on front lawn and change the locks
Just get the divorce, he obviously has zero interest in working on anything but wants the option there for when the woman he’s seeing and him split
He’s cheating and is waiting for you to say you are done! Time to go.
It’s time to move on girly 
I’m sorry this is happening to you
Drop him on yhe next curve. He needs to go. There is always a road to follow and while you travel throughout a new road, you may find what you really want. Just think of the possibilities.
It sounds like you know what to do. Im sorry you are going through this. You deserve so much better.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s time to leave. You deserve so much more
He’s already checked out of the marriage. All you represent to him now is a roof over his head and the convenience of not having to start over on his own.
That’s what he’s is doing by accusing you of ‘throwing it away’. You’re not throwing away your relationship because he has already done that, you’re throwing away his safety net if things don’t work out with his current love interest.
Just make sure to keep proof of his messages and such so it’s not turned on you!
Leave. You owe yourself that much… Don’t let him disrespect you one more minute…
Stop waiting for him to make decisions for you and launch pad this shit. You decide your direction, what do YOU want. He’s doing what he wants. You need to take control of what you want out of life. I hope you have good support around you x
Take control and be the one to make the decision to split. You know what’s best for YOU! You’re the only person who can protect YOU! Don’t give him the power over your next move!
Easier said than done. But, my father did this to my mother, and after 40 years their marriage was over. Her heart was broken, obviously. But, I wholeheartedly believe it would have been “easier” for her to heal had she made him leave. Had she filed, stood her ground, and knew her worth!
I’m sorry but it definitely sounds like he’s looking for more from life with someone else… If he’s talking to another women, lying, moved out of the bedroom, hasn’t talk to you in 5 weeks, says YOU’RE throwing away the marriage when he’s the one acting like an ass and even told you he’s not happy. You should file for divorce because you deserve so much better that that.
Leave. It’s over !!
You know you’ll have to change something about your life in order to ever feel any better about it. I’m not sure exactly what, but you sound absolutely devasted. I truly feel for you. Hope something gets better for you 
He’s cheating and planning to leave
Sp the question is what do you want to do? What do YOU feel is the course of action?
Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too!
I want to give you hope but I can’t. Get yourself prepared so he doesn’t blindside you. Don’t let him keep you hanging on. Trust me if he doesn’t do it now he will be sooner or later. Don’t let him take away your self worth! You deserve better then that! Like a previous post…he wants his cake and eat it too. Stop letting him!!!
You already know the answer.
That’s exactly what you think it is.
Why are you waiting for him to decide what he wants?
It’s easier said than done,but you have to move forward… He wants you both and he’s not willing to let go of the other one… It was his decision that lead to all this… you go on and don’t be surprised that it’s some girl trying to make him feel special just to get what she wants from him,then when she’s done,she moves on… That’s when he will say “ok,I know what I want now” but that’s when you say,“it’s too late” know yourself worth
Leave him and look for a girlfriend 
Marriage counseling might save it but sounds like its over.
Don’t let him hold the reigns ! Get on that horse and ride into the sunset and leave his indecisive ass behind. He’s keeping u there Incase these relations with the other woman go no where ! You know the answer ,so let’s do it 
Don’t let him make decisions for your future, file for divorce. Move on. Don’t give him the chance to see if he can get another woman first, before he leaves you, he’s already rhrown everything away…
Take all proof to an attorney file for everything and reverse charges to him…
Go get you a boy toy and give him a taste of his own medicine!
File for divorce and see where it takes y’all.
Tell him to get to fuck u deserve better than to be treated like the piece of shit is treating u x
Go on with your life as he is his. Find you a real man honey!
Telling you what he wants he doesn’t want to be with you
He’s already left. Just physically sleeping at the same address. Stringing you along for convenience. Head up, time to do you and move on.
Chuck him in the bin.
Think you already know the answer to that. You also have a right to live your life happy, which quite obviously isn’t happening. End it he cant have his cake and eat it to.Hope you can move forward and live a happy life. Xx
I’d just divorce. He’s obviously hiding something and obviously doesn’t care. Divorce and find another man who will appreciate you!
You need to decide what you really want. Do you want to be with someone who does not respect you and cares so little for your heart that he’s willing to treat you like a doormat or do you want to start over and value yourself and make a better choice next time? If the answer is the latter, file for divorce. If you want the former, wait it out. Hope for the best. Ask him to go to counseling. Work hard to suck it up and be the wife he wants you to be while this passes. But whatever you decide, make it your choice. Don’t keep letting him call the shots.
HE is throwing it all away. Not you.
File for the divorce.
best way to deal with your husband is do the same back give him the treatment his giveing you . if that don’t make him change then ya know to leave him
Get to the bank and withdraw all but $1. Change your passwords and your locks. His stuff would be in the yard. He could figure it out somewhere else but not in my house. If you found out about this one, how many haven’t you found out about? Are children involved? If not, it just makes it easier. 14 years is a long time but life goes on and you deserve to make the most of it and be happy. Good luck.
Oh he wants his cake and eat it too!!! Smh!!!
Move on…kick him out…file for divorce and stop allowing this man to still dictate how things are going.
Don’t wait for him. Go file
He’s keeping you on the side alittle just incase it doesn’t work out with this other woman
You had me at the second sentence. Move on!
Girl go get that divorce and LIVE YOUR LIFE. He decided to throw it all away, NOT YOU. Never be second choice, you deserve better!
He is telling you everything you need to know by not speaking to you. Silence speaks volumes if you listen to it.
Yes! you’re strong enough and got a life to live! Leave his lame silent ass 
Hes cheating & its time for you to leave. Hes gonna say you’re throwing it all away, so that when others ask why you’re not together, he can say it was all you, that he tried to stay together. Narcissistic behavior.
Sounds like “Cheaper to keep her” circumstance
I have been through a similar situation to you. Leave before he leaves you. Your an option right now until he knows what happens with this girl. You deserve better your not the problem he is.
Get evidence THEN put him out
I’m sorry to say, but he was answering you without giving you a direct answer - you just weren’t listening. Go ahead and divorce him, let him “live his life” - but make sure he regrets it by YOU living YOUR best life.
Actions speak louder than words go by what he is showing you and make the necessary adjustments on your end!
I think he’s ready for a divorce to be honest…
No answer is an answer.
File for divorce he will change or you will. No need to wait on him
Cut him loose !
He will see the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s not as sweet 
He’s keeping you as an option in case it doesn’t work out the way he expects with the other woman, then he comes back and begs for forgiveness.
So, you’re the home he wants to run back to after eating his cake and expecting to have it all back. You either move on and file or you wait for him to test and see…
Get lawyer and se what you can do you should be able to get half of everything don leave until you know hit in the pocket book
Divorce and then divorce party. Live your best life
I’m in the same predicament. Well pretty damn close to what your going through. Only I’m somewhat disabled and I depend on him. I have no job, no money and two kids. I’m trapped.
He’s cheating! Divorce!
Get hard copies of bank, credit card and investment statements ASAP. Make sure he’s not taking all your money out or charging rooms at the no-tell motel and charging dinners at romantic restaurants. If so, keep it as evidence of adultery. Make copies and keep some with trusted friends.
Contact a woman’s center for advice on the best ways to leave to get whatever you are entitled to.
Set up your own bank account that he can’t touch. Be the first to get the mail. Save money there. You decide if it’s worth taking out half the assets in checking and savings now or just waiting for the separation.
Contact some divorce lawyers. Can you kick him out of the house legally? Do you have children? How much will you have to pay the lawyer? How much would you get in child support or alimony if either would be available? Consults should be low cost or free.
Contact the county. Could you afford where you’re living now by yourself or with a paying housemate? Or would you need subsidized housing? Is there a waiting list for housing? Could you get on it now? Could you get Medicaid if you don’t have health insurance through work or Obamacare? Food stamps? Employment or schooling assistance?
Is there anyone you could stay with after separation or divorce until you can get on your feet again if money for mortgage or rent will be a problem?
Since he’s already checked out of the marriage, I doubt he’ll argue about keeping anything, and you might even get him to pay for at least half the lawyer. Sounds like he’ll go along with anything to get out of the marriage without a fuss. But have the phone number of a pit bull lawyer (will be at a higher rate) at the firm in case he wants to get nasty. If he’s agreeable, maybe a mediator would be cheaper, but make sure she/he’s documents are admissible in court.
Subtly spread the word he’s cheating so he can’t paint you as the “bad” person in the split.
Get counseling to deal with your emotions and grief at the loss of your marriage.
Move on you can do better
Girl divorce immediately I gotta ask if he pays the bills because if that’s a no he’s just using you and if it’s half he’s still using you
Definitely cheating!!
Oh, lawyers charge for every 15 minutes, so act accordingly. See if most of the work can be done by paralegals who get billed at a lesser rate. Also ask if phone calls to the law firm are free or charged, and if so, at what rate.
Cheater cheater pumpkin eater!! DIVORCE his dumb ass
Oh he’s got another women but doesn’t have the balls to let you go. He knows exactly what he’s doing.
Divorce and leave. He is already cheating.
He’s telling you he’s done.
If you can’t hear what he is telling you, I don’t think you will hear what any other person advices you. Take charge of your life.
Ask him what you are throwing away if your not getting what a wife gets. Time, attention, affection
Actions speak louder than words! You never turn away from your spouse, you always turn towards them. You already know the truth! Sometimes it’s hard for our heart to accept what our mind already knows. I was 7 mos pregnant when I literally found my then husband cheating. Hardest decision I’ve ever had to make was walking away from a 10 yr marriage with a newborn…13 yrs later, BEST decision I’ve ever made! Good luck!
It’s obvious that he’s cheating. Idk what kind of “direction” you’re look for, but you really need to direct yourself out of the door.
File. Get a lawyer & file.
He’s trying to play you.
Have some self respect & don’t be his doormat.
Go find a lawyer and file for divorce. This is no way to live. He is cheating on you. You deserve better than this q
I only read halfway through this to already know what I was going to say….
This dude wants to have his cake and eat it too. All it’s going to take is for him to find the right time, then when HE’S ready you’ll be served with divorce papers. He’s already cheating, he’s BEEN cheating. If I were you I’d file for divorce ASAP. You’re going to be blindsided if you don’t, and he’s going to try and take whatever he wants from you in the divorce.
Divorce and move on he seems to of moved on
You are being treated literally like a safety net. Save your dignity and self respect by GETTING OUT ASAP.
So you must sit at home while he goes out and cheat! The red flags are waving at you. Unless you’re blind, how can you not see it?
He’s being a pathetic coward. Throw the whole dude str8 in the 
Oh honey he knows what he wants, he just doesn’t have a place to stay yet. 
End it now, for your own sake
Sounds like he wants you to do the dirty work. If I’m fact he is cheating, it’s adultery and some stands don’t tolerate that.
Get yourself financially secure, any joint bank accounts…get your 50% out of them now. Then file for divorce on grounds of adultery, know how much your joint possessions are worth cos you’re entitled to 50%. Pack your suitcases (or his) and get on with the rest of your life!!
Whats good for the Goose is good for the Gander. Change your your social media to single and get out there