I caught my husband texting another girl when he was drunk…he has been sober since and very apolegetic about it so id ont know what to think…he works out of town and said he met her when he was drunk at a bar with his friends but nothing happened and all they did was exchange numbers…this made me lose feelins for him but at the same time we have kids and he is sorry…is it true what they say about once a cheater always a cheater or can men change?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I caught my husband texting another girl: Advice?
I wouldn’t forgive that.
I promise you, he WILL do it again.
Something for sure happend. Why even exchange numbers.
If he changes for the good to help save your relationship your doing good. Otherwise most of the time once a cheater always a cheater.
Some can change for the better
Why would they have exchanged numbers if he wasn’t wanting to talk to someone else or see them?
I’m sorry that happened as that really hurts. I hope you get the strength to see you deserve better than that. Being drunk is no excuse for that.
That ended with 2 questions… Ist answer is yes and 2nd answer is no.
No way. It’s a big risk to take with your heart. If you stay I would definitely make sure you go the next sketchy shit you got
If my husband did this, I’d never trust him again. That’s just me though.
He’s sorry because he got caught!!!
Seems as tho every time he get drunk… he is doing things he should not be doing
He will do it again.
he knew it was wrong to even exchange numbers. I would never do that without some sort of intentions. period. So therfore, I would never do it because I love and respect my husband.
All you negative Nancy’s. No wonder relationships don’t last anymore. Work on it. Only you know your husband, if he is truly sorry then YES people can change. Wouldn’t it suck if all of our mistakes were held against every single one of us.
I know someone who did this exact thing. It ain’t good at all. Ditch him now.
Mmmm so, not only did he exchange numbers with her but he continued to talk to her even after he “was drunk” I’m sorry he’s a shitty husband. Now you’ll always wonder who he’s texting or talking to when he’s away. Real men don’t make there wives ever feel that way. You deserve better.
He’s only sorry that he got caught. ALSO, something every one should know, just because you have kids together doesn’t mean you should be together! Or that you have to be together! Some people can parent better when they are separated from each other!
If my husband worked out of town, and I CAUGHT HIM messaging women that he was meeting, I could not remain in the relationship and either of us be happy.
Like maybe if he came to me first and told me what happened, I would be under the impression it was a drunken mistake (does it make it okay? No. But I could probably forgive that.), but if I had to confront my husband because I found out, I wouldn’t be able to trust him again and it would lead to an unhappy marriage.
Like personally, I wouldn’t be able to move past that.
Trust your gut instinct! It never lies…listen to it
I’d be livid. Idc if you’re drunk or not, why exchange numbers with someone knowing damn well you have a wife at home. You only exchange numbers when you are thinking about being unfaithful. And that in itself is a break of trust. He has no respect for you, or your marriage. Don’t enable him to make you look like a fool.
He is telling you you nothing happened and you believe him?
You give in the 1st time your find yourself giving in a 2nd 3rd 4th 5th and so on and your use your kids as an excuse everytine to why you haven’t left him
Never give him the opportunity to do it again!! Leave him!! You deserve better!
Yep if u didn’t get caught he would never hav came clean
Being drunk doesn’t make you do things you’d “never”do. It does, however, allow you to be the type of person you want to be but suppress. In the end, the decision to stay or leave is ultimately up to you.
I’ve been with my man 7 years. The first 3 years were rough and cheating was involved on my end and his end… when I had found out I was pregnant with our son he has not had communication with other women… he had changed to be a better man and father. Remember drinking or doing any drugs will hender the right thinking… maybe keep an eye on him and see if he still does… I haven’t had to check my mans phone in over a year and it’s been 4 since he’s stopped
Men can change, but you have to trust them as well. I personally couldn’t, but I don’t believe you do anything drunk that you wouldn’t do sober. I also don’t know how you can believe nothing happened. Something had to have happened for them to exchange numbers, whether it be a conversation or something more intimate. Also that means he’s likely telling women he’s single as well.
That’s just his excuse for you to forgive him. He will do it again and again and again. Don’t EVER stay with a cheating man, just because y’all have kids together. It will hurt the kids more. I promise.
Loyal man wouldn’t have even taken the number
For God’s sake. He exchanged numbers.
Obviously for a reason.
Also, is he sorry he cheated or sorry he got caught? Two very different scenarios.
Drunk man’s words and actions are a sober man’s thoughts and desires.
Once a cheater always a cheater….
That’s a difficult situation
No everyone can cheat.,
Men don’t change. They say they do and act like they do but honestly they just get better at hiding it
It’s like they say drunk words are sober thoughts. Or in this case …
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Only you know what you’re capable of. Can you forgive and not let it ruin the relationship? Can you trust him to not do it again? Most of time (not all) men continue to do it,they just get better at hiding it. Here’s the thing though. He exchanged the number while drunk but he kept communicating while sober.
I wouldn’t believe him or trust him
your right, he is a sorry excuse for a partner
Once you loose his trust you will never gain it back ever again
Verify everything he says. Once they lie it’s hard to trust them
It is true “Once A Cheater Always A Cheater “!
The number exchange alone would be unacceptable for me, but everyone is different. Also, blaming this on being drunk is not taking responsibility for his actions. If you can’t control yourself when you drink, then don’t drink. There’s no excuse!
Few men change. The majority keep doing it because that’s WHO they are, nothing the woman has done.
I’d leave him. He’s obviously screwing her
Sounds like he’s sorry he got caught.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. Why the hell is he giving another chick his number?
Depends on WHAT they were texting about/saying?.
Yea ima go with he’s sorry you found out. Why would he take someone’s number knowing he’s married. Or let alone GIVE HIS number.
If someone loves their partner there wouldn’t even be a thought to cheat.
He’s sorry he got caught that’s it.
Even when I’m drunk as hell I know damn well what I’m doin. He’s only sorry that he got caught
People can change. But the damage is done & the hurt will always be there. It’s up to you if you can live with that or not… good luck hun
I cheated on everyone I’ve been with, except for two serious relationships. One is my husband. Not always true.
No, no one changes unless they get a serious wake up call or they truly want to change. I get the feeling that he is apologetic because he got caught. I feel you on the losing feelings for him over this. A betrayal is a betrayal no matter what, there is no excuse.
Sorry is coming and telling you and being upfront and honestly sorry he got caught sounds more like it
Well there was two lies already. He met her and and gave her his number, then he texted her. And you weren’t told anything about any of it. He doesn’t seem to be someone you can trust and rely on to tell you the truth. So I wouldn’t convince myself that he hasn’t been unfaithful or that he plans to cheat without you knowing.
Get that phone bill u will see jst how long its being going on …
I believe once a cheater always a cheater
He’s sorry you caught him. Just waIt til he’s Away working again. I’d leave if I was you, nothing will change. He’s only sorry he got caught. Should have thought about how it would make you feel when he was exchanging numbers
Being drunk does not excuse exchanging numbers. Then you caught him texting her? What more do you need? A video?
Uh yeah, fuck that. Give him the boot.
Yes your theory is correct ! Once a cheater always a cheater. You might as well leave him. Because he has already broken your trust and your heart
Going to places of temptation is a sure place for wrong things to happen again and again!
If my partner didn’t give me a second chance, I’d hate to know where I’d be just my opinion xx
His intention was to cheat… He gave her his number and he took hers…
He didn’t even cheat
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts . Drunk or not he knew deep down what he was doing
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater , he is only sorry because he got caught, the next time he travels for work and have some drinks he may share something more than his phone number
I really hope you see this. The comments aren’t passing the vibe check. In order to fully understand what was the nature of the texts? Also this could have been his wake up call.
I say access his cell bill and see just how many text he has been exchanging with her and how long it has been going on. If for some reason you can’t get ahold of his cell bill I’d tell him he has 1 week to produce it or you’ll pack his bags for him. There is no second chances for that kind of B.S. in my book no matter what his excuse is. Kids or no kids.
Forgive him one time. Only once.
Once is a mistake, anything after that is a habit. Humans do selfish, thoughtless things at times in their life. I am sorry you are going through this but only you can really decide if your relationship with him will be able to move past this betrayal or not.
Trust me…. It’ll never stop. No matter how many apologies. I’m just stuck in my situation.
A loyal man wouldn’t even think to do that. Drunk or not, one mistake leads to a snowball effect of them.
Guys are liars he could say all they did was exchange numbers but he could also be saving his ass so who even knows but him and her…
My ex used to abuse me everytime he was drunk. His family would excuse his behaviour saying “he was drunk”.
It’s no excuse.
He just had more courage to do it drunk, he would have eventually done it anyway.
I would say he’s sorry he got caught.
This wasn’t the first time.
“Once a cheater always a cheater” is sometimes true, but not always. I know a few couples who were able to address the issues that led to cheating, and move on to have happy marriages.
But staying in a relationship with someone you no longer love, for the kids, isn’t healthy. You’re your kids’ role model for what relationships should be. They need to see you happy, whether that’s with their father or not. If you stay together but aren’t able to fully forgive him, that’s going to cause resentment and eventually your relationship will be toxic; what would you tell one of your kids, when they’re grown, if something like this happens to them?
Once a cheater always a cheater is a load of crap.
Why did he do it? How does he plan on earning your trust back? Is he willing to get professional help if needed? Is he willing to quit drinking or not have more than 1 beer when out of town?
If he’s not willing to do the work he WILL cheat again. People that feel bad and never want to do it again prove it with their actions. If he’s not willing to let you have the lead until trust is earned back then you know for sure he’s bullshitting. If he starts to slide back and you say something and he doesn’t fix it, then you know he’s gonna do it again.
Drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts!
Had you not found out would yet still be doing it? If so, his guilt isn’t about his actions … it’s about you finding out.
They’re never really sorry or it wouldn’t have happened in the first place. He’s only sorry he was caught… every time he’s away from home; you’ll wonder what he’s up to…kids or no kids, you deserve so much better.
I think they can change,
But can you ever trust him again.
You can only make that decision
How do you know this was his 1st time?
He works out of town, he’s probably up to no good while he’s away.
Not always true. People can change but unfortunately trust is very hard to gain back every little thing that happens you’ll question it and it tends to drive you crazy my husband has cheated it’s been almost a year since and I still question everything and always have the thought in my mind.
Once trust is broken it’s very hard to move past it…… especially if it happens again when you give them more chances.
Your better than that don’t waste your time… bounce do better you deserve it
He’s sorry he got caught.
So he met her and got her number while “drunk”, sobered up, then started texting her while “drunk”. Uhh highly unlikely it wasn’t intentional. I agree on accessing phone bill, if anything he just learned to hide it better.
Its funny how they’re only sorry they got caught…
If he hadn’t he’d still be texting and doing who knows what else.
Love yourself enough to know what you deserve…
No. They always go back to their “old ways”!!!
Yes its true they never change,they would pretend to change for the time beign.and when you are drunk the real you surface,but its your choice to stay with him
Why would they exchange numbers?!? He’s only sorry he got caught.
You have to think about your relationship ok if he values your relationship or not?
Once you have been cheated on its hard to trust again
They never change. He’s gotta go
Leave his ass!!! He has no business texting any female at all !!! Just tell him to leave FK!!! Leave and never come back !! Don’t wast your time and your energy on a fk looser!!! No explanation needed just ask how fk ass to leave . You be okay time will heal you . You will be okay actually you will better than okay .
Them exchanging numbers would be enough for me to not trust him again!
Get checked for sexually transmitted diseases
They can and do change. Texting and flirting still cause doubt and defensiveness but don’t put accusations that are unfounded out there yet. It is hard to work through but after almost 30 years together now trust me, you can work through it if it is worth the work you will both have to put in to keep it.