I caught my ten-year-old nephew watching me change my two-year-old daughter and Idk how to react. So, long story short, my husband and I have two daughters who are 1 and 2. We are staying with my inlaws temporarily. My brother in law, his girlfriend and their three kids (7, 10 and 11) also live here. Our bedroom faces their bedroom. They don’t live here full time. A few weeks ago, my husband took their room because he had to wake up at 3 am to go to work and needed to go to bed earlier than us. The kids were camped out in the family room for a few days. I came in here to change my two years old (working on potty training but not there yet). I noticed that my ten-year-old nephew also followed us to the room and just stood outside their bedroom door (which wasn’t being used by them, so no reason to be there). He just stood there watching me change her, and when I was done, he left. Twice now, he’s done this, and it’s creeping me out. I don’t know if he’s curious, I mean, he has a sister. I don’t know how little boys work, but my seven-year-old nephew doesn’t do this. Neither does my niece. I had very touchy cousins growing up since I was the only girl, and I just don’t know what to do.
Bring it up to his momma
Next time he stands there, ask him what he’s doing.
Talk to your inlaws. Talk to him. A simple “what’s up bud” may go a long way.
I would ask him why he is doing it before jumping to any conclusions
I’d be blunt and just ask him if he needs something, before u help your daughter. If he says no then tell him you’d like some privacy and wait til he leaves.
Tell him not to. Hes 10. He should listen to you if you ask him not to watch you undressing your toddler. If he doesn’t then talk to his parents
Had it been a “niece” she may have been changing your daughter Why because he is a boy and interested in what you are doing is it bad? It annoys be the “because hes a boy” its an issue. Just say… did you have a question about me changing the baby? Did you want to learn to change a diaper?
Ask him if he needs something… If he says no then tell him you’ll “be with him in a moment so find something to do”.
Just ask him? Maybe hes just curious what u r doing? If he wont answer i would chat to his mum and maybe she can ask?
I’d ask him what’s up & point out to him thatbits not appropriate for him to be there during that time.
I definitely wouldn’t automatically assume something predatory of a child… maybe ask him if he needs something.
Try closings the door
Maybe he is just curious about changing a baby? I’d just ask him.
He’s a child. Childrem are curious. If it bothers you just say “go play mate, this one’s a stinky one” or something similar.
I think you’re being ridiculous tbh though. My nieces and nephews have always been around when I change nappies. I don’t even leave the room 99% of the time.
Go with your motherly instinct, it is probably right.
Am I the only 1 not worried here? My 9 yr old watches me change my youngest all the time. I don’t think it’s sexual it could be a number of things why not just talk to him…
Maybe just curious… but I’d shut the door before changing her or just ask him if he needs something since he’s standing there.
Maybe he’s just seeing what you’re doing. I would guess curiosity if he hasn’t done anything to her. I work in the infant room at a daycare center and can’t tell you how many times a sibling has come in with mom and dad and watched me change a baby. It isn’t a big deal really.
Omg. Why does it have to be sexual??? Maybe he’s just watching you care for a smaller child. Maybe he watched his mom do it. Maybe he wants to help and doesn’t know how. Maybe kids are just curious. Jesus. Why does everyone assume that there’s some dark and evil intent??? If it was a little girl, would you make the same assumptions??? Damn people. Don’t you dare shame that boy because of a trauma or fear from your past.
Kids are curious - and the sooner you’re honest with any and all things involving male and females - the safer all the children you love are.
I’m sorry but the fact your mind goes there is disgusting. He’s probably curious on how a diaper is changed, or maybe he just likes to follow you around. The fact you would automatically assume your nephew is a predator is so wrong.
Honestly it just sounds like he’s curious. He’s probably not used to that as his siblings are older now. If his sister is older then him he would’ve never been able to watch her get changed it’s different. If it happens again ask him what’s up calmly don’t snap or sound upset. If he’s curious get him involved and explain what’s going on. My brother used to get really curious when my mom had my sister because they are different and would watch and ask a billion questions
Tell him to give you privacy…have you tried that?
After the 1st time I would be more cautious and close the door. I’d ask him why he’s doing it and bring it up to his mom. And just to be on the safe side don’t leave your daughter in a room alone with him. Better safe than sorry.
Close the door all the way,communication goes a long way, maybe he’s at that age an curious an wants to help out which he probably did with his sister. Most kids just want to know how to help or know what’s going on it shouldn’t be a negative thing
My thoughts… did something happen to this person at some point in a young age to automatically go there?
He’s a fucking child. He’s probably curious/intrigued. It doesn’t have to mean anything bad.
How about close the door? Problem solved
Wow why are you sexualizing a child?
I would shut the door and tell him “girls need privacy
Ask him y he was there will hes there I’m sure there’ll be a next time confront the situation
Yeah make him feel like a pervert for watching you change a baby. Who cares. I change my kids in front of my brother, sister, uncle’s etc.
I think you are overthinking it. He is probably just curious.
Have a calm talking with him but don’t assume the worst.
Plan his disappearance. This could lead to serial killings in the future. It is not curiosity, he is learning. Destry him before it gets too late.
The fact that YOUR mind went there, disgusts me on so many levels. You need help.
I have 6 boys and one girl he might just be following u ask him and see what he says
So if a niece followed you to the room would it have made a difference? HES 10 hes probably curious
hes probably just curious. id sit down with him calmly and talk to him, tell him its wrong to do that, he may have some questions for ya bout ‘birds and bees’. just be calm with him until he gives you a reason not to be hun
Why would you let him stand there and watch?
you’re freaking out because a kid is watching you change your child’s diaper? I changed my kids in the living room. What’s the issue. People are so strange about nudity. You are the one making it sexual.
He is a 10 year old child. You are an adult you can either shut the door or ask him to respectfully give you guys some privacy.
Did you talk to him about it
Shut the door / lock
He’s curious he’s a 10 year old not a 20 year old man sheezus
If you have a problem with it be an adult and say something… But he’s a child🤷 just because he has a dick doesn’t make him a predator
Tell him to go to the other room that boy shouldn’t watch girl undress. Then talk to his parents about it so THEY can give him the talk and also let him no good touch bad touch.
She isn’t accusing him of anything. I would walk the line cautiously regardless.
You’re creating a problem that more than likely doesn’t exist.
You’re the adult, he is the child. Tell him to give you privacy. If it’s bugging you that much, mention it to his parents.
He’s probably curious…my 3 boys all got excited and wanted to help change my neices diapers when she was a baby.
I can understand why you’re mind would go there I had a pretty sketchy past but to protect your daughter from any potential harm just close the door, all you jerks out there saying shes disgusting for thinking such things must have had a very easy child hood but unfortunately that’s not how everyone grows up and its better to be safe then sorry.
I don’t know why this is a issue. Has this child done something inappropriate in the past? If not I don’t know why you would assume something awful. Kids are curious. If your uncomfortable shut the door and go about your business.
Tell him to stop looking or ask him what he’s doing? He’s your nephew, not some stranger.
What did he say when you ask him what he was doing or when you told him that you would like some privacy?
I think no one is addressing the fact that this lady also needs help. Her annoyance is deeply rooted, this could be more about her, than her nephew.
Is he not just waiting for her to go back and play ?
Sounds like you are the one with a problem 🤷
He’s still a child…I’d assume positive intent until proven otherwise. Maybe just ask him what he’s doing, or what’s up, buddy? It’s likely just curiosity versus assuming he’s a predator at 10.
Omg question him about it that easy …
lock your room door ?
How do kids learn? By watching. If your not comfortable turn around close the day and tell him she’s getting changed and you would like privacy it’s that simple. Nothing weird about it.
Why are people telling her she’s creating a problem that doesn’t exist wtf don’t any of you know that children do things to other children geniuses!! Ha! It sounds like her mum senses kicking in… and Also the kids 10 not 5 mate!! Old enough to know wtf is going on and what his doing!
I don’t see it as an issue. Kids are furious. That’s how they learn to parent as they get older, by example.
I would just ask him what he wants
For everyone bashing her for having bad thoughts- fuck off. Trauma makes you think of the worst possible outcome. & she said she had touchy family.
Anyway. He’s more
than likely just curious. He may have never seen diapers get changed until now. I’d casually ask him “what’s up” when you’re approaching the room & he’s on your tail. Boys and girls are equally curious & by it only being "acceptable " if girls watch, is exactly why we have so many men that have no idea how to change a diaper
Close the door next time! Now…if he opens that sucker and tries to stay watching then u got a problem that u should address right then and there. Otherwise…close the door. Presto…chango!!
If I see ANYBODY while watching me change a nappy I wait for a poo nappy and stop at the gros part and ask how can I help you. or do you want to change the nappy. whatever I come up with kids are just curious.
“Hey buddy, what’s up? I’m changing baby and we will be right back out!”
Well i wouldn’t read to much into it. Actually it is teaching him how to be a parent. Unless attitudes change i think you may be a tad paranoid due to your past experiences. Not bashing you. But i was raised by my mom who was sexually abused by her father…
I truely believe you need some help to address what ever happened in your childhood. Dont let your past jade you.
Oh and maybe get to know the child whilst teaching them to change a nappy.
Oh my poor kid was probably just watching nothing in it. I have 4 sons and a girl they bath and shower together and when she was a baby she was naked most of the time. Let kids be innocent kids. My boys were mainly curious and it’s a normal healthy interest in the human body.
A little more info like is he staring the little girl down? What exactly is he watching? Teach him about privacy now
I think we should always be vigilant but I feel that there was nothing especially nefarious about this, he is probably just curious to me. That being said I would make sure to protect all my children, regardless of gender, from situations where something inappropriate could happen.
If you are uncomfortable about it, make yourself a privacy screen. A shared home has pluses and minuses.
But you can easily create the privacy you require .
A ten year old probably has an inquisitive mind. You may be able to offer some great aunt-ly lesson right now. Ask questions without judgement. He’s a pre-teen lots of curiosity right now.
Always go with your gut instinct better safe than sorry
Also mention that I don’t feel it’s your job to sit down and talk to him, at least not in a real direct way. The next time it happened I might address the fact that he’s standing there and try and engage him in a conversation.
That’s a curious child. I think it’s more disturbing that you are creeped out by your nephew watching something so natural, than his acts. I would talk with him to find out what he’s curious about. Maybe he has questions. Don’t make him feel bad about being curious. It’s only natural.
So shut the damn door? And have a conversation. He’s a CHILD. You’re an adult. Act like it
Ask him what does he want .call him out on it and tell him its weird and creepy . I would also have a talk with his parents maybe he has done this before with his sisters.
Ask him why he followed you, he is probably just curious, my boys all have the same bits and still insist on watching me change their brother, with your history its understandable to be worried but not everyone is out to hurt girls, if it bothers you find him a job to do when you are changing her
You gotta watch your kids around other kids too. Not just adults. Not everybody’s kids have been raised the same. …
If it makes you uncomfortable. Follow your gut. Your kid, your choice.
He needs a conversation on boundaries.
Sounds like a good time to tell him how precious and private his parts are and that no one should be touching him other than a doctor in the presence of his parents and he shouldn’t be touching anyone either.
Kids are curious! You shouldve asked him to help. He probably would have loved to care for his little cousin! Your cousins are not this kid.
From your story it sounds like you were maybe in a bad situation. I’d start with asking him “hey bud, do you need something” next time. See what he says. If you prefer privacy just tell him you need privacy and close the door. Maybe he’s trying to be helpful, maybe he’s not but you won’t know if you don’t try to talk to him. If his response creeps you out then talk to his parents for sure.
Just change babe in a private area. Close the door or tell whoever to give you a min and y’all will be back. I understand how you feel and where you are coming from. Just go else where. Into the bathroom maybe. Good place to change them during potty training too.
Just shut the door. Tell him this is private. Be cautious but remember Kids are curious. If he has no history of being abused the chances of him being “perverted” are extremely slim.
I think a bunch of you missed a key point in her post, which would help you understand a bit better why she feels the way she does.
Hes old enough to understand if you say nicely “hey buddy she will be out to play soon just give her some privacy while she gets dressed, we need to respect her privacy!”
Just tell him to go away
It’s sad moms can’t ask for advice without being bashed into the ground anymore… even if the problem lies within herself who are we to sit and beat her down?!? Women are suppose to support one another not act like we don’t have our own issues. And if she does have a problem who are we to bash her we don’t know what she’s been through!!! Speaking from experience and being molested when I was a young girl definitely makes me skeptical of almost everybody because the person I was supposed to trust in my life let me down and crossed those boundaries so yeah even now even if it is harmless it still crosses my mind I was traumatized and I’ll be damned if I overlooked something that could be Petty because I think I’m overthinking
He’s your nephew? Ask him what’s up or if he needs something. Hes also 10.
I think the fact that your cousins were touchy (which is wrong) is what’s bothering you…
Talk to him… Hes a kid and hes your nephew.
Anyone who thinks young children don’t act out are truly naive.
I would talk to him about it. Yes it could just be curiosity or it could be more. Either way, it needs to be addressed. You have every right to be concerned. Even if it’s just curiosity, that’s still not something to just overlook. He needs to know what is and what is not appropriate and this is not appropriate. From here on out, close the door.
my nephews did it with my niece because they were curious but they were 4/5/6 years old. For him to be 10 & doing it I would be a lil weirded out too.
Umm hes 10 years old & likely just curious. Just ask him.
Just tell him nicely that you’ll be done soon and he can continue on doing what he was doing before you went to change her. He’s 10 years old he’s old enough to understand if you dont want him to be there.
I would just explain to him what privacy is, he may not know and also speak with your husband so he’s aware
Hand him a shity diapers and make sure his hand touches some of the s*** he won’t be curious of diaper changing anymore
Omg this is a 10 year old child who is your family.
I think it’s more strange you have these weird feelings and thoughts!
I have a ten year old boy who would prob be curious too. And he’s an innocent child.
You should have said something to him THEN and THERE.