I caught my sister kissing our other sisters husband: Help!

I am stuck between a rock and a hard place right now and I do not know what to do. My older sister is married and has been for 10 years…my middle sister is a little younger than her and has kind of always been jealous of my older sister…once family get together we were all having some drinks and i caught my middle sister kissing my older sisters husband…i really want to say something but dont know when i should…my mom is currently undergoing cancer treatment and the entire family is on edge because she most likely is not going to make it…i hate keeping my mouth shut…but dont wanna cause drama with everything our mother is going through…how do i approach this?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I caught my sister kissing our other sisters husband: Help!

That depends, who do you want to be the bad guy to? Which sister do you choose…

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Tell your younger sister you saw her and she needs to tell your sister what happened or you will. Would you want to know?

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Ouch!!! Approach younger sister first. Then hubby. Tell them to come clean.

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Tell your older sister. I’m sorry your mom is ill.

Try and make your sister more aware maybe let her see it on her own but guide her to it I don’t know it’s very tricky

Tell the married sister.

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I’d confront them and see if they’d want to tell first before I do. Sorry that’s going on while your mother is ill

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Your sister deserves to know the truth

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Mind your business, they’ll get caught :person_shrugging:and tell on themselves

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Oh man that sucks. I’d go to the husband and the sister and tell them you know and they have to come clean or your spilling the beans. Keeping it in and never saying anything will eat you alive and your oldest sister deserves to know for sure!
Sorry your being put in this situation during such a fragile time

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Say something for sure!

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I’d approach the middle sister & hubby and give them the chance to come clean then if they can’t then I would filling in the older sister!

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I’d 100% tell on her ass!

Do right by your sister and let her know what happened. You would want one of them to do the same for you right?

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Sister or not, it IS another woman’s husband! I think I’d privately try to reason with your sister and point out to her the devastating consequences to all involved, this could/may have if she and he proceed down this path.

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Your sister and the husband are the ones causing the drama. You need to sit your married sister down and let her figure out what she’s going to do and please stick by her!

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What was the husband’s response?

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No rock no hard place tell what you saw.

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Diuuuude what a mess.

You need to tell your sister you caught kissing that you saw it happen and she needs to come clean about it or you’ll say something but here’s the thing even if you caught them and you confront the husband and your sister do you really think they’ll say they did it? At this point all you said is you caught them did you take a picture of it if not then they both can deny it and say you’re causing problems and without proof it’ll be hard to prove.

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If the shoe was on the other foot wouldn’t you want to know?? I would, and she will be more angry in the long run if she knows that you knew all along & said nothing.

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Only speak with her about it ! It was the alcohol !

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I would first confront the middle sister.

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Say it! Family secrets always come out

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If it were me I’d tell my sister she deserves better, if he’s kissing y’all’s sister lord only knows what else he’s been doing

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Your sister has a right to know that her sister and husband is trash.

Wait speak with him too privately !

I would not want to be in your position… yikes… but your sister definitely deserves to know, I imagine you would want to know if roles were reversed… also sorry to hear about your mother… this is all extra stress that no one in your family needs… your one sister should be ashamed of her actions.

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Do right by your sister and tell her. Girl code always!

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I’d have to say something. What if your sister found out you knew and didn’t say anything? Or tell your sister she needs to tell her or you will.

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So I see it as 4 options

1.) Whoop yo little sisters ass and teach her a lesson

2.) Tell your big sister and explain you did not want to with all that’s going on but you thought she deserves the truth and to be treated better and your always there for her.

3.) Confront lil sis and the husband and black mail them into staying away from each other

4.) Don’t tell anyone, let it destroy you inside and years from now when it all comes out you will have lost your big sisters trust and faith in you because you will have contributed to her hurt rather than her liberation from that shitty husband.

Should’ve told older sister the moment it happened. Although your middle sister is in the wrong, I hope your older sister realizes she deserves better. It’s a shame her husband hasn’t told her, if he did, I’m sure the older sister would’ve confronted middle sis by now. I couldn’t go on with that on my conscious.

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Tell her husband to come clean or you will

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I would definitely tell the sisters together. I would sit them down to “hang” out then I would bring it up in front of all of them including the husband at same time so the older sister can see the other sisters reaction and her husbands reaction

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Say something to the middle sister who kissed the husband. If they don’t come clean, tell them you will. They need to do the right thing, despite what’s currently going on. I never understood why people could do that with their siblings. But yes, wouldn’t you want to know? It’s heartbreaking, so much. In my opinion it’s better to know sooner than later. You saw the kiss, did they see you? Were they drunk? Not an excuse… did one kiss the other and refuse or was it a full on make out session that you caught? If they already saw you-see them, I hope it’s eating at them. I feel bad for the other sister. Is the 10 year relationship open? There could be details unknown. Not sure… sounds really messed up all around

Did he kiss her back? I wouldn’t say anything yet, keep focus on your mother? But tell you sister’s husband he needs to say something or you will after you deal with the health of your mom… I would say…once we deal with momz health we need together and talk

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Why do I feel like I’ve seen this before :thinking:

If everyone was drinking, that will most likely be their excuse, even though it’s no kind of excuse to do something like that, especially to your sister.

I would confront your middle sister and your older sisters husband first. Make sure that they know that you know. I would give them both the opportunity to come clean first. If they don’t, then I would tell the older sister.

I understand that your family is going through a lot right now, but ask yourself this… if your older sister caught your middle sister kissing your husband, would you want her to tell you?!

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I’d wait til a family get together and air that dirty laundry loud as fuck and watch Jerry Springer ensue, but that’s just me. Be dirty, get dirty!

If not doing it that way, I’m still telling… either I’m telling the one sister who’s husband it was, or I’m telling the kissing one I saw and she better tell on herself before I do! Either way, that is NOT a secret to hold!

Tell the husband you saw it and he needs to be a man and be honest with his wife. Tell the middle sister you have lost all respect for her and she also needs to talk to her sister and GROW UP. This needs to come from them only. Otherwise you will be hated by all. They will never trust you or respect you. Prayers it all works out and for your Mom as well. So sorry you are going thru so much. Let them know their timing sucks. But, it’s not going to be an excuse to handle this sensitive problem. It’s not yours but, theirs. Shame on them.

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Tell Her! It’s going to hurt her more if you known about it for sometime but didn’t let her know. They already caused the drama not you. Good Luck! Sending Prayers up for your mom.

You have to tell her. It’s not your fault and she had the right to know and make her own choice.

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I’d tell my sister asap

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If you were in the oldest situation and was clueless to your husband kissing your other SISTER, wouldn’t you want to know? How would you feel knowing they knew and said nothing to you? Tell her.

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So sorry you are in this position. Your older Sister may get angry with you if you tell her. Talk to the middle sister and tell her you know and tell what this will do to the family at this time. It may have been a spur of the moment thing. Not excusing them at all. Your Mom doesn’t need any family drama right now. Good luck.

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How would you feel if it was your husband??? Would you wan someone to tell you right away or later on ….

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Speak to each privately. Then they can decide who or how to tell the other sister.

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I would sing like a bird and I wouldn’t care who hates me either. THIS is one of those things that should not be swept under the rug.

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Read them both for filth and be as indignant and disgusted as you want. I also admire that you aren’t letting the fact that she’s your sibling blind you from seeing that she’s a piece of shit.

Tell her. Trust me. Tell her!!!

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Sorry but if I saw that I would have dealt with it immediately

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I would tell your older sister! It’s not fair to her that people so close to her are doing this to her.

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Wow. I hope this one is made up
Because just so gross.

Tell your sister, the one that done it that you seen it and she can tell the size of you can.

I’ve been in a situation similar before and my advice is to ANONYMOUSLY tell her. People always go after the messenger. That way she knows and can do what she wants with the info, but won’t attack you.

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Speak to the husband he has to make up his mind about how he is going to deal with the situation

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I wonder how the sister & husband act towards each other after the kiss. I would definitely say something. Sit all three down & tell the older sister.

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This is probably not a good time to say anything. Your mom isn’t well and this won’t help her.
If you feel you just have to say something, tell your younger sister you saw her kissing him, that whatever is going on needs to stop. You might even tell brother in law the same thing. In fighting in the family at this time just needs to stop, let your mom use her resources to heal peacefully. Maybe it was just a few drinks kiss, is it worth breaking up your sister’s marriage and burdening your sick mom? There’s always later, and who knows by then it could resolve itself.

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Tell ur older sister… and keep it from ur mom. Im sorry she is sick

Dude that’s your sister. Regardless of anything everyone deserves to know the truth. That’s some bullshit lol Yeah timing is shit, is it ever really good timing though? Not really lol.

You better tell her :woman_facepalming:t2: what kind of sister just holds that in. Would a better time be after your mom passes and she’s hurt from that?

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Tell your sister asap. She has a right to know.

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I wouldn’t say anything. Unless it becomes an ongoing issue

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Speak to both separately then go from there.

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Tell her. Wouldn’t you want to know if it was you.

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I don’t know with all going on with y’all mother that’s a hard one maybe wait like it’s not as important as what’s going on with ya mother right now

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This is not the type of secret you keep. Tell her now or risk ruining your relationship

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Say something it’s worse if you don’t.

Tell middle sister to fess up to big sister by xyz date or you will tell big sister yourself.

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Talk to the two that were kissing! If it doesn’t quit you tell your sister!!!

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Hmmm the issue with how poorly your mum is makes this tricky but I think your sister needs to know. If it was a quick peck on the cheek I’d leave it but if it was a full snog she needs to know

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I would get them all 3 together away from your mom, and just let it out. This way you ain’t keeping secrets.

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As a person who found out at the end that my sister was sleeping with my husband through our whole relationship. You need to tell her. She doesn’t deserve that from one shitty sister let alone have one keep that from her.

Tell her privately. She has the right despite everything going on. But keep this from mom. She needs to focus on beating cancer if possible and has loved ones around.

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I would talk to the witch

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I would go to your middle sister and confront her. Maybe you can get her to tell your older sister? You could confront the husband too and see if you can get him to tell your older sister. I’m sure she’d rather hear it from one of them than you. Depending on how things go with talking to the guilty parties maybe you won’t have to but let them know if they don’t you will…? Idk :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Given she is your sister, I would tell her about it

Everyone would of known the second I seen it happen.

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I’d make them tell her.

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I would approach the husband first. Tell him to tell his wife or else you will. Then it’s up to big sister to confront the middle one. If he doesn’t want to tell his wife then you can tell her. But I’d definitely not say anything to the middle sister. It’ll give her time to come up with lies or excuses

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Tell your older sister in front of your middle sister. Let your oldest sister take care of her husband

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I’d let her know or made sure one of them told her.

ild go to the husband and chat then middle see both storys then see which way go

I would talk to her let her know what you saw etc

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Definitely confront sister(trifling one) imfront of other sister, let chips fall where they may

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Talk to the husband and tell him to tell his wife… Which hopefully he’s already done, if not he should.

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I would give the guilty parties two days max to say something, if they don’t come clean within that time frame I was telling the older sister

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Say it. Rip the bandaid off. It happened.

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I would’ve alrdy said something.

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It depends. Was it like, oh we’re having fun, drinking and she did it like a joke or playing around or were they like full on kissing each other? Do you think it was a one time thing or a bad sign? Don’t tell her something that will just hurt her and possibly ruin her marriage if you’re not sure what it means. I would talk to the sister involved honestly and find out what the heck’s going on.

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Who cares?
Keep it in the Family- :heart_eyes:

You have to tell her

Talk to your sister and tell her to knock this shit off , your family has enough to worry about without adding to it!

Tell the 2 cheaters they gotta come clean or you’ll do it for them.:woman_shrugging:

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Tell your sister…you should have allready.

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Oh, they would both sit down and tell her for sure…

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Trifling as hell! I’d get everyone together and talk about it right there. No excuse for that, and you’d want to know…older sister could resent you for not saying something

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Oh hell should have said something right then and there