I caught my wife of 19 yrs taking pics and videos of her playing with herself to another person she works with. She said it was harmless because the never had sex only flirted while at worked and talked about meeting up but we never had sex. How can I even trust this person?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I caught my wife sending nudes to a co worker...advice?
You can’t trust her. Especially since she is playing it off like it isn’t a big deal.
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You don’t trust said person.
You can’t. Bye bitch
That’s still cheating ja
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That’s not ok. U should consider leaving especially due to the fact she thinks it’s ok.
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What she’s doing is cheating…
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That’s not harmless. You can’t trust her, I’d leave.
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What kind of logic is that?!?!?!
Harmless?.. no how are your feelings? Hurt im sure so nothing Harmless about that
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You can’t trust them! That’s cheating
Wow! That’s insane how she even is trying to justify it.
Darling. If they’ve just spoken about sex, she’s still being involved with someone who isn’t her husband. But seeing as she’s sending pictures and videos of her bits… she’s already crossed the line. Tell her to pack her shit.
No no no. That is so wrong on so many levels.
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This is just the beginning
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Cheating is cheating
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Absolutely NOT, she needs to GO!
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That’s cheating.
You deserve better.
No way some of the questions are even real… ridiculous
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Bye! That’s cheating and a big deal. Also they more than likely have done something. Why else send someone something like that ?
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Leave that b*tch. If she thinks that is harmless you deserve better.
Naaaw man Im so sorry to hear. That’s defs cheating and not ok
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Ummm you can’t trust them. Cheating is cheating.
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It’s not harmless when someone’s getting hurt
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Harmless?! The hell with that and with her.
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you can’t, leave her
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I tell my husband anything you wouldn’t do in front of me is cheating
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She’s lying I don’t believe that for a second
Omg and she tried to justify it…acting like it could be worse. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Easy to say “leave!” But not easy to follow. Therapy?
Throw the whole wife away, start over
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No nobody should ever cheat like that
That’s cheating. Emotional cheating is even worse than physical cheating. Also if she isn’t on the same page as you about what cheating is, that’s extra concerning. Maybe look into marriage counseling and if she’s not willing to go then might be time to reevaluate the relationship.
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Her response means she’s been cheating for a LONG TIME NOW.
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Oh honey. Throw the whole woman out.
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Sadly, I think it’s time to move on. To me that’s just as bad as actually doing it. You deserve better in life. We only live once
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That is some SERIOUS delusion right there. How can she even justify what she did? It’s still an affair. I am sorry, I would say get out. I know 19 years is a long time, but it would be worse holding on to someone that may or may not want you around. Life is too short.
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R u that stupid 
You can’t. No diff than someone watching porn
What in the actual fuck? LMAO.
Yah she is disgusting. Leave qnd do it quickly
No! She cheated it don’t matter if she they had sex or not, its still cheating in my opinion
Your question at the end is your answer. You can’t.
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It’s still cheating, leave
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She cheated. In my eyes even flirting is a big no no
Just walk away from that
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Who the heck does that I wouldn’t trust her
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Sit down with your wife and see how you both can fix your relationship. She may be lacking attention from you, and is seeking it elsewhere. Their are people you can talk to, that have been in your shoes.
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Is she serious??? She really expects you to believe that’s ok? She knows what she did was wrong, she has little respect for you. With an attitude like that I’d say this isn’t the first time she’s cheated… it’s just the first time you’ve caught her. All the best
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uh hell no! she’s lying and she’s probably been doing that for a long time and multiple people. run.
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Nope. Not cool. Time to head out.
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That’s some bullshit! That is cheating
Leave her lmao. She won’t stop. What you don’t know, won’t hurt you… Obviously she’s doing that soo… She don’t care.
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Oh no that’s far from harmless. That’s cheating even if they haven’t been psychical which I don’t believe it’s time to reevaluate the marriage I’m sorry
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That’s considered cheating I’m sure she would have left you
Cheating is more than just physical. She broke your trust. She did alot more damage to you than she realizes.
Leave. She cheated.
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Honestly you can’t trust this person. She a ho and we can’t save ho’s😭
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That’s not innocent. I would feel very betrayed and im not sure I could move on from that
Lol hell no, bye bye Felicia.
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Harmless? Wow. And after 19years… nope. Nope. Nahhhh 
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that is her story and she will NOT change it!!!
Time for a discussion with a divorce laywer.
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You can’t
She sees no wrong there for has no reason not to keep doing it.
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Dude!! LEAVE!!! NOW !!! RUN!!!
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So wrong in so many ways! So many red flags. Bet it’s not the first time because how comfortable it is to her, it sounds like🙅🏻♀️
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That’s 100% cheating!
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It’s the fact that she’s trying to gaslight you and minimalize her actions like it ain’t no big deal. ITS A BIG FUCKING DEAL. Cheating is cheating. I bet if it was you sending pics and videos she would’ve said “divorce” by now. Kick her tf out😒
You can’t. Y’all need to discuss this and see where y’all are gonna go from there if you don’t think you can move passed it I think it would be best to do you
Would she think it was harmless if it were you? There’s your answer
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You need a faithful wife!! I consider sending nudes and playing with herself cheating and she’s more then likely lying about having sex with him!! There’s lots of single faithful ladies out there waiting on a good man 
Sheez, I’m really sorry!
Leave her ass!
Ummm…. she showed someone else her goods and “played with herself”. That’s cheating in itself
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You can’t. That’s cheating how I see it.
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File for divorce and let her be for entertainment since that’s the decision she’s made.
I personally don’t want anyone who is for everyone else. 
Or, maybe find out what the problem is on the home front.
Is she going without something within the relationship?
People don’t cheat just because, there’s an underlying reason.
Is she unhappy?
Is she dealing with self esteem issues?
Is she seeking validation?
None of these are acceptable excuses, but definitely a cause for discussion if you chose to work on your marriage.
But fr, she just sounds like an old tired hoe.
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Emotional cheating is still cheating!!
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Um nah fam 
SHE legit sent videos of HERSELF playing with herself and nudes TO ANOTHER MAN fuck that bitch bye ho
HELL NAHH.
Cheating is cheating.
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They slept together…I wouldn’t send videos or photos to a guy I never slept with… sorry hun but she cheated regardless and you guys have that talk and make some big decisions. Much love 
She probably only admitted bc she was caught. Just imagine what she’s done and hasn’t been caught. I’m sorry!!
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You don’t. There’s nothing to be done, but leave
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Men or women that do this need to be kicked to the curb…Its a form of cheating…Bye
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Just got over a bout with covid , wasn’t much fun but had I not been vaccinated three times , the Doc said it could have been much worse than it was as my oxygen saturation levels became low but still not bad enough for the ER . The vaccines helped my system fight off the virus indeed .
Nope. Not ok at all. How would she react if she caught you doing that?
She cheated. Depends on you but I’d never forgive it , if you can’t then leave now and save your heart from even more heart break
Umm no, I would be done. Gave someone like that too many chances and learned there were more in person when they could get the chance. If it something that hurts the other person, it’s cheating. Simply put.
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You simply cannot trust them.
Crossing personal boundaries is grounds for divorce, more so when it’s been almost twenty years.
That is still cheating and wrong on many levels time to.move on
Doesn’t matter if she never met up. She had intentions too, whether or not she followed thru with them don’t matter at all. She was planning to cheat. And in my book, by sending nudes, she did cheat. If ur doing something with someone else that u feel the need to keep hidden from ur spouse than ur cheating. Plain and simple. Ask her how harmless it would be if u sent videos like that to a co worker of urs??? And asked to meet up with said co worker but didn’t… Harmless still? I bet not
So long. She should not be doing g anything like that at all being married good by
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Ummm…sending nudes playing with herself is more that just simple flirting….this is definitely a problem
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Your spouse evidently does not see any issues with her actions. Get into counseling asap but only if you want to try to save this marriage.
Those photos are in the public domain. Do you have children?
That activity is such a huge betrayal and with your spouse claiming the action to be something akin to innocent, if I was a betting person, I would bet this was not the first time for this.
Its not harmless it is cheating.
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If there is nothing wrong with what she is doing why didn’t she tell you she was going to do it.
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Not ok. She is wrong. Dig deeper, you’ll probably find more than that is happening.
Get yourself a lawyer.
She’s not into you anymore.
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Terribe,what she did and video it and send to a co worker. I would tell her “Get the hell.out”!
You can’t trust someone who is gaslighting you about what they did. She’s unwilling to take ownership of her wrongs and you can even begin to repair the relationship (if that’s what you want) until she can be honest with herself and you. She also needs to willing to truly work on herself in her own therapy. And then be willing to do the hard hard work in marriage counseling.
But if not no you can’t trust her, speak to some lawyers and get tested with your doctor!
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It’s simple, don’t trust her. Not only was she sending nudes, but she downplayed the whole thing by calling it harmless. Refusing to take responsibility and act like a grown woman and admit it was wrong is a biiiig red flag
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It’s hard to trust someone after that.
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That would do it for me. Pack up and go before you get hurt any more.
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Leave. She’s not into you anymore and she probably has cheated already. That’s cheating in my book. If I were you I’d look at divorce or counseling but cheaters don’t stop until they lose “the one”