I cheated on my husband and got pregnant: Will the dad have rights to the baby?

So I’m not proud of it, but recently I wandered from my husband and cheated… I, unfortunately, got pregnant. My husband has forgiven me, and we’ve been working through it. I was wondering if anyone knows if the guy I slept with will have any rights to the baby? I’ve been told that because I’m married, he doesn’t, but I’m freaking out because he’s psychotic. He stabbed my tire, has stalked my house, shown up at the hospital. I know he’s not safe, and I don’t want him around my kid. And before anyone judges and says I shouldn’t have messed around with him, lord do I know that already.

338 Likes

Being he is the babies’ father i do believe he will have rights regardless of the fact that you are married…Good luck and stay strong

1 Like

In my state if you are married, the child is legally your husband’s child. DNA dosent matter. The bio father can file for DNA testing and get rights when it comes back his child.

Does the guy you cheated with know you’re pregnant? If so then he may be able to get visitation rights. Good luck

Dna is his just because you’re married won’t change that. He will have rights.

8 Likes

You don’t tell him - your hubby has forgiven you - so move on with your lives & raise the baby as your own :hugs:

15 Likes

yes he has rights if hes the father. This is a ridiculous question. He is the biological dad that child is 50% his.

8 Likes

Paternity will have to be established by dna in court and then he will have rights. He will have to take you to court to get the rights

2 Likes

If you are that concerned you will have to prove hes unfit but a judge will award him visitation, overnights and to pay you child support

1 Like

It depends on what state y’all live in. A restraining order sounds like a good idea. Be sure that you’re making police reports of the harassment:/ Good Luck

2 Likes

He is the biological father so yes even though you are married he has rights

4 Likes

His rights can be taken away by simply having your husband adopt the baby

1 Like

Depends on the state laws but where I live your husband is responsible for all kids you have while married.

1 Like

Someone I no had the same thing they were married and cheated and got pregnant when it came down to birth room they asked and she just stated that I am married and the husband was automatically put on you can choose to be honest or not say anything and no questions will be asked otherwise so it’s your call

4 Likes

Did you not know he was psycho before you slept with him? Smh.

1 Like

I think he will only get rights if he gets the DNA test and proves he is the father which means you allowing him to test or he gets a court order to test the baby, too. Put your husband on the birth certificate as the father. Say you have a bad memory and were misremembering so you do think your husband is the father. The guy would have to place a legal claim. Get an lawyer when he does. Otherwise, work on the health of your family.

5 Likes

If your married your hubby is the legal father

5 Likes

Don’t put him on birth certificate he won’t have legal rights unless he gets DNA test and goes through courts

1 Like

His sperm he has rights until u prove he is not fit

1 Like

Seek professional support

Seems to me like it only became a problem after the tire stabbing and all? I’m unsure why you would have told him about the baby, unless you told him and then said sorry but I’m staying with hubby and that caused the dangerous behavior suddenly, assuming you didn’t cheat on your husband with someone you already felt alarming? Just my opinion, either way report the staking etc and get a restraining order which you will then tell PD you are having his child and see what you can do from there, good luck :purple_heart:

You say your kid however it’s not just your kid. While I understand your saying he is violent you need to understand it takes two to make a child. My suggestion is to speak with a lawyer and if he continues to act violent and erratic then put a DVO on him.

Yes. You being married has zero to do with paternity.

3 Likes

You need to document everything he does and get a restraining order. Yes, he’ll have rights to the baby.

Most states: if you’re married and get pregnant by someone else, your husband is responsible for that child like it’s his until paternity is done.

4 Likes

OK like everybody says he has all rights to that child being that he is the father. But if he really is a psycho as you say then you would have to get restraining orders and any visitations would have to be Watched meeting somebody would have to be with him like the SS while he had the child. Or he can just take his parental rights away you have to do that in court. And person to forgets there is a lot to think about

Doesnt matter that you’re married. That babies DNA isnt your husbands, I’m pretty sure the father has all the rights to his own baby. Does the father know you’re pregnant?

1 Like

It depends on state law. Where I live if you married the husband is legally responsible.

Yes the father of that child has rights. He if told it’s his (which is the right thing to do) also has to pay child support, he gets visitations and a day in the upbringing of that child regardless of you being married. Your husband has no rights and no say when it comes to that child.

1 Like

Please watch for false information. You and your husband can get in trouble for lying and claiming the baby is not this man’s just so he does not have rights. If people already know and a dna test proves your husband is not the father you are screwed. Just do things legally.

5 Likes

No advise just wow :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

I dunno babes. Does psycho side piece know you’re pregnant too?
Cause like if he doesn’t, DONT FUCKING TELL HIM A DAMN THING.
If you and your husband have agreed to work past your indiscretions and raise the baby together, keep the psycho side piece right out of it.
And, maybe, if you were sleeping with both parties. Maybe that baby is still your husband’s anyways.
But… bottom line is psycho side piece will only gain access if you allow it to happen. So like… be stronger now than you was before.

10 Likes

When you’re married it is assumed your husband is the father legally, not sure what happens if the other guy forces the issue. But you could keep records of all your interactions with the other guy to create a pattern of behavior just in case.

1 Like

He has every right to HIS child… maybe his behaviour is because your playing god with his child…

2 Likes

I would look in to paternity laws in your state bc they’re different in each state. I’m in Alabama and I’m order to get rights to a child you have to prove paternity and the potential father has to pay for it. Even if he’s on the birth certificate. My husband did the same thing, strayed and had an illegitimate child. Does he know you’re pregnant? And does he want to be in the child’s life?

Of course he will have right.

In most states if you are married you’re husband is the assumed father and they will automatically put his name on the birth certificate unless you tell them otherwise. But the man you had an affair with can sue you both for a paternity test and find out if it’s his child or not. Document everything he does just in case. Because if it is his child he will get rights but they may have to be supervised. And in all honesty you’re child has a right to know who is his or her biological dad is. If it doesn’t come out now it will 10-20 years down the road and that causes trauma to the child. I’ve seen it.

5 Likes

Depends on the state if your husband is on the birth certificate he is the father and responsible for the child. I have even heard cases where men went on the birth certificate did dna testing wasn’t the father and was still responsible because they signed the birth certificate. Just see what your state laws are.

3 Likes

He can get rights through DNA testing and the courts and it’s his kid he should have rights it’s your own stupid ass fault for being a whore

8 Likes

You don’t want him around YOUR kid? Really??? Classic golden uterus syndrome.
Guess what? He has just as much right to the child as you do.

5 Likes

Your husband would have to not sign the BC. Your husband will automatically be considered the father. It’s a legal thing. Even if you got divorced prior to the child’s birth, he’d still be considered the father legally. (There is a year or so grace period after a divorce before it’s no longer automatically assumed). The bio father would have to take you to court to establish paternity and rights.
Document his behavior as best you can. Double check the laws in your state. But as far as I’m aware, the husband (and recently divorced exhusband) is always the default setting father.

Depending where you live if you live in WI Your husband is responsible for the child until it is born and you do a DNA test and match it with that father then yes he has rights but you can get a restraining order and have specialized visits if needed…

If the other guys gets paternity tests done and the child comes back as his yes he has rights

1 Like

Yes he has rights no matter what. But you can get legal advice about visitation and other issues

The husband is always considered the bio parent unless you say different at hospital or after. Husband would have to deny paternity and boyfriend would have to acknowledge paternity to remove spouse and add boyfriend’s name to the birth certificate. All three parties can request dna test add that may be mandatory in your state if custody becomes an issue. This is one hell of a mess. I pray you all remain safe.

Unfortunately he will have rights, ( he would have to get a court ordered dna test) but if you can proof now, he is basically harassing you. You can get a restraining order an at least that’ll be on his record. If you have to take him to court later for the babies rights/safety, hopefully the judge would see he is crazy b.c of his record.
Also [ obviously ] don’t put his last name of the birth certificate.

2 Likes

If you don’t tell him & don’t put his name on the birth certificate, he’ll never know. Depending on your state laws, it could by law be your husband’s baby no matter what. Unless the man goes to court to prove otherwise, you should be good & most psycho losers don’t do the court thing.

And this is the outcome of having an affair.

3 Likes

Just because YOU screwed around and screwed UP does not give you the right to hide who your childs biological father is. Every child has a rigjt to know and every father has a rigjt to know that they have a child.

7 Likes

I know someone who was in this exact predicament. And when the biological father took it to court, the judge deemed him to have zero rights and told him “this is why you shouldn’t have sex with someone who’s married”. Per the law here in Michigan, the husband is automatically put on the birth certificate when the baby is born and that cannot be changed. The husband is automatically deemed the legal parent to that child. This was 13 years ago in 2006 and this guy still has zero rights to his biological son. Once the kid turns 18, then it’ll be a different story.

Well, maybe you should have kept the info to yourself, because no judge will go against a married couple who state the child is theirs, so stop talking about this other guy, and go live your life.

8 Likes

Are you certain he’s the father ? Firstly I’d get a restraining order to keep him away if he’s violent…does he know your pregnant? Does he want anything to do with the child once born ? Maybe your making a lot of assumptions…seek legal advice

2 Likes

Like most don’t tell the other guy…

6 Likes

My nieces biological dad is psycho and abusive. Get a lawyer and see what you can do to keep your child away from him for good. Every state is different with the laws with the fathers rights. Be sure to gather evidence to prove he is psycho and report his behavior to the police immediately when he does something. The more reports the better

Of corse the biological father will have rights! All he has to do is make the court order you to do a paternity test and once DNA results show he’s the father he can then legitimize the child and even put his name on the birth certificate.
That is if he knows you’re pregnant.
You’ll have to see if he’ll sign his rights over to your husband and stay out of the picture if that’s what you want but you have to think about the child.
Is the biological father a PoS and a dead beat and you’re sheltering this child from a life of hardship?
Every child and parent deserve the right to know their truth. Even if it’s not ideal and unconventional. :pray:t3:

5 Likes

It doesn’t matter if you’re married or not and it doesn’t matter whose name goes on the birth certificate…IF a dna test shows he is the father then YES he legally has rights to the child.

5 Likes

I think it really depends on what state you are in, because the laws vary from state to state, but I think in most states, since you are married, it will be assumed your husband is the father & his name put on the birth certificate. If this other guy wants “rights” then he would have to get a dna test done at his expense & then sue for custody, visitation, etc.

2 Likes

do the legal way. you know whats right from wrong. if that psycho guy raised his concern to court, problem will surely arise. so as early as now, start doing the legal way.

And you couldn’t be smarter and just fix any issue you had with your hubby?! :neutral_face: so instead you step out on him and put yourself in an even bigger issue. Good luck to you. Your husband’s a better man for even forgiving you.

6 Likes

No bc you’re married, NO ONE has to know. Your husband can even sign the birth certificate as the father and it’ll be HIS by law especially if he agrees to it, well in California that’s how it is.

I would just have the baby with ur husband and save everyone some grief. When the kid is older you can tell him if u want.

5 Likes

Well I would just make your husband now sign the birth certificate papers at the hospital and then I don’t think the guy has any rights.

3 Likes

I think i am right to assume that even if he didnt behave in that manner, you’d still ask the same question? I may be wrong obviously but i feel this is a stupid(for want of a better word) question. You cant have a baby and dictate who the father is. Your child shouldnt have to deal with your mistake either. He/she has a right to know/see their father. Be it in a controlled setting or not(if needed ofcors). There should be no need to search law either. Its the human thing to do. The baby isnt a possession. I also think its too easy to throw judgment without all parts. Has he always been like that? Is he just pissed off that you made a baby then went back to your husband? Does he even know about the baby?

If in some states the married hubby is the legal father, shame on the system because this is so wrong, especially if the biological father is not a threat. So many people playing with childrens lives to better their own needs and wants. I hope this isnt the case

Question 1) the the psycho know you’re pregnant with his child?
Question 2) can he afford paternity testing?
He DOES have rights.
Lesson 1) the grass ain’t always greener on the other side of the fence
Lesson 2) you have one hell of a good husband I would not have been able to forgive

1 Like

They don’t do a DNA test on the dad at the hospital so

2 Likes

if he has done that to your tire and has been stalking your house, document everything. Keep a diary and date every entry. Then get a restraining order. If you can, conceal that he is the father. Consider moving away.

2 Likes

Some of y’all have a really nasty attitude and it’s annoying as fuck to be honest. This page should be SUPPORTIVE of other women who have made mistakes and encourage new attitudes and behaviors upon them. If your going to be an asshole take your little trolling asses on somewhere.

That being said sweetheart you can get free legal advice from your states legal aid and possibly check out other resources like the sheriff’s office so you can get a restraining order on asap. The sooner you take this up legally the better. The law will want facts and substantial evidence as to why he is not suitable to have rights so make sure you have all your information gathered. We all make mistakes, I’ll pray for you and your significant others relationship and that it stays bless through this mess. You have a good man sis. Keep on keepin on.

I think you meant “OUR kid,” not “my kid.” You messed around, screwed up, and now you have to put on your big girl panties and face the consequences. This child has every right to know its biological father, just as the biological father has every right to know his child.

He hasn’t forgiven you, he’s still shocked. After hehas figured out what to do next you are out and before that he’ll abuse you emotionally. Just get out

1 Like

Don’t tell him and he won’t know…

6 Likes

The biggest mistake you made knowing how dangerous he was, you told him of the pregnancy, thinking smarter you should have just said nothing now he has rights to access unless you don’t put his name on birth certificate and say nothing than he gotta pay for DNA to prove it’s his child, I would be saying nothing no contact with him if he says I want my kid just say not sure who’s baby it is as I cheated on you also so if you like the other wanna pay out for a DNA go for it , remember if he that bad the child is at risk

I just want to remind everyone that u can get that restraining order but if ur dead its just a piece paper. I lived thru 8 yrs of hell js that paper doesn’t get the police there for you fast enough

6 Likes

This is a private matter and should not be on social media. The comments and suggestions and ideas can complicate this.

5 Likes

Of course he has rights IF he is the biological father.

1 Like

Of course hes has right . Does not matter if your married and you strayed. The court isnt going to take that into account.

3 Likes

You better make sure u are staying married for life if u decide to have that baby and claim it’s your husbands, because I will guarantee u that if u get divorced your husband will be the first one in court asking for a paternity test to prove he isn’t the father then you get no child support and if u then decide to go after the real father for paternity, plan on a battle. Good luck!

2 Likes

Yes he will have rights.

1 Like

In Tennessee if your married and he signs the birth certificate that is who is the dad unless the other guy sues.

Maybe the guy is acting psychotic because you are refusing to let him have anything to do with the child. By the way, what a mess!

2 Likes

He will have rights, if he presses for them. Do not put him on the birth certificate.

I would think so! It is his child.

Don’t be a cheating pos and karma won’t destroy your life :woman_shrugging:t2:

6 Likes

Yes the man does. And he deserves to know his child! Everyone saying have husband sign the BC is a pos. You did the crime now pay the time. Go through the battle you chose to go through.

4 Likes

In Florida if your married your husband is the legal father. Your ex lover would have to petition the court for custody

If your husband forgives you, great. But, the paper he will sign in front of a notary is a sworn statement of paternity. Don’t have him doing something illegal to once again make YOUR life “easier”. Last time, it didn’t work out the way you planned. This time will be no different.

2 Likes

Smh… Your husband is an idiot for forgiving you. Your marriage will not be the same. Now you have given your husband the rights to do it to you. Well… Lust is not love. You call your lover these bad names :joy: but when you were intimate with him I bet he was all greatness :rofl: it’s monsters like you that destroy people trust. :triumph:

That’s a stupid question

U need to b true to everyone involved in this…ur baby…ur husband…an the other man !!

1 Like

Of course he has fucking rights he’s the father!
So your saying you want to lie and hubby sign the certificate babies his.
Then what when ya split and maintenance hit him up? He gonna pay or come clean?

Ya done the wrong thing and fukd up and ya own it!
Do the right thing but DON’T lie and deny him any rights and lie to the child that’s fucking wrong on so many levels!

So here’s the real legal answers. You’re still married so your husband is legally the father. If, and that’s IF, the biological father wants to challenge it he will have to take you to court and pay for a DNA test to be done. But nothing will or can be done unless bio dad forces the issue.

3 Likes

Yes he has rights :woman_facepalming:
Just because you decided not to be faithful doesn’t mean he has no rights.

4 Likes

Your husband deserves a wife who actually love him and won’t hurt him.

4 Likes

In Michigan, your husband would be the legal father. He would have no rights until he sought them through friend of the Court. It’s quite a process, taking away your husbands legal rights and giving them to someone else. But if he goes through it all wanting to be a part of the child’s life, that says something.

3 Likes

1st. of all she #CHEATED and then not only that she conceived a child. Smh!

2 Likes

He has every right to this child!!
Even if you dont put his name down. He can get a court ordered dna test.

4 Likes

Quote of the day!
If your gonna cheat
Make sure u don’t get pregnant!! SMH! Then get some help!
What a husband though to forgive u… holy shit!!

2 Likes

Get a restraining order for you and the baby then renew it when or if it expires. This will totally help…and the fact that he acted out and damaged property will help

1 Like

Omfg … Karma has gotten you and it won’t go away. Best bet give that baby to a mother who has been trying to have a baby…I see it coming… Ur husband throwing it in ur face about the kid… and eh… I just see it all being a disaster…the innocent child shouldn’t have to go through all of this… never cheat. It’s a waste…

3 Likes

He has rights, you being married has nothing to do with that! Make a journal of everything he’s done and start reporting him

Yes he will have rights! Thats not fair for you to denied him his child to make ur life easier! You need to grow up do the right thing. It will all work out in the end.

5 Likes