Can you post for me, please? I just need to vent. I’m a mom of 4 boys. I have been married for almost 14 years. I’ve been feeling sad, hurt, unappreciated by my kids and husband. Well, today I didn’t receive anything for Mother’s Day. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I’m the one who looks after the kids and takes care of the house and does the cooking. My husband is a very hard worker and provides for his family, and he is gone most of the day. He is not the typical husband who goes out his way to get me a gift for any occasion. Not for anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s, Mother’s Day, Christmas. The only time he does gives me a gift is because I mention something about whatever holiday or special occasion is coming up. But if I don’t mention anything, I don’t get anything. On the other hand, I always try to buy him something for every occasion. And for Father’s Day, I always take the boys to the store and let them pick something out for him. I know a relationship isn’t based on material stuff, but I, for once, want to feel special. Am I overreacting? Or do I have the right to feel some type of way?
Remember that for father’s day 🤷 my husband didn’t get me anything nor take kids shopping for my bday so I told him I will remember that for his bday and father’s day…he gave our daughter money to take me out for mother’s day but that’s it 🤦
You are not over reacting one little bit . Stop doing for him .
I’d be Furious! You have every right to be upset. Let them fiend for themselves for awhile. Head up Momma❤️
Don’t feel bad honey I didnt get attention on Moters da untillI became a great grandmother
Not overreacting. You have the right to feel special. Your husband is rhe model for the boys. Their wives will feel underappreciated as well. Time to make changes now.
It is nice to be acknowledged. I don’t understand why your husband just “doesn’t do things like that”. It is good he is a hardbworker, but he needs to express his appreciation once in a while. It doesn’t have to be extreme, just a small expression.
Stop doing for him… Until HE says something. Then say, “How’s it feel?!”
No you are not overreacting, I’m so sorry! We need to feel appreciated for all that we do… maybe stop doing those things for him and see what happens, kuddos to you though mama I’m sure your a great mom and wife!
Stop cooking and cleaning. He’ll notice eventually lmao
Your not overreacting!!
Tell him how you feel and why. See what he says about that. Tell your kids too that you want them to celebrate the holiday.
Not overreacting you shouldn’t have to remind someone to do small special things for you
Why couldn’t your boys make you something ? Why does your husband have to take them to buy something ? Your boys could’ve easily each made homemade gifts ! No you are not over reacting . But ffs homemade / handmade gifts always mean more than store bought .
Shame on these husband’s and father’s…
Mine is like that I know not to expect nothing
Happy Mother’s Day! Nobody should feel left out.
You’re not over reacting at all. It’s nice to be acknowledged on special days and even more on a random day. I would talk to him about it. Cause not only is it hurting your feelings but it’s setting a bad example for your boys. Little things have the biggest impact.
I went through that with my ex. I understand completely
do they ever give you validation for who you are ?
My husband was like this. I had feelings (valid imho) and discussing it helped him understand it was important and it took time but he has stepped up his game. Communication is key.
Everyone needs to feel appreciated. Even if it’s just a card
This is a communication issue. This is also different love languages in action. If you can handle it without anger and pointing the fingers, tell him how you feel. If you’re picking a fight, no one wins.
How old are the boys?
100% your husband fault that he sucks .
Your not over reacting, sounds like you need to go on strike till they appreciate what you do
Mine is the same way. This last year for my bday I said something and reminded him what I did for his, and he said he didn’t ask for it and it’s on me for going out of my way like that… so this year I’m not doing crap for him!! Believe me they will realize it when it stops for them too!
For me Mother’s Day was just another day…I don’t need validation for something I do every day. No expectations, no let downs.
These man made holidays are stupid …
Everyday is Mothers day in my opinion
And I see she didn’t complain about him being an unfaithful man jus worried about a gift
Go buy 2 dz of Roses for yourself!!!
Stop doing it for him.
Mine is the same way and I’m a sahm. I have to say something ab it. What u really need I stead of a gift is day to yourself. Or a night u don’t have to cook, or they clean the house , or do the laundry.
Not overreacting. I’m so sorry. He should at least take the boys to get you something and your birthday
You have the right to feel hurt. Just a hug and Happy Mother’s Day would have been better than nothing.
You know your husband isnt one to get gifts. My fiance is the same way. Yes it does hurt and you have a right to be upset. But no where in this post you seemed to be over reactive honestly. Dont give him gifts its probably not his love language anyways. Have a sit down and talk with him if you are really bothered by it honestly. Like you stated he is busy and works all day so he probably doesnt think about holidays and stuff.
I had the same problem
I’d let him know it’s a better example even dollar store card to show kids so they know how to treat their partners !!
I have this same problem. I buy my own gifts. And tell him later!
Do something nice for yourself. Buy some new clothes, go to a hotel for a night. And please dont stop doing stuff for your husband out of spite. Be the model for your kids. Speak the words to them so they know what to do in the future for their partners. When your husband asks why your going out for the night tell him…your doing something nice for yourself for mothers day.
Nope not at all!! You should feel appreciated! Don’t get him anything for his next holiday and see how he feels!! I’ve been in that relationship!!
Your feelings are valid. You need to say something to your husband and also explain it to your boys before they do the same to their partners in the future.
Stop cooking, doing laundry and cleaning for him and see how he feels!
Your not wrong…as gar as sons go, a week before birthday…moms day…start leaving sticky notes…my special day is coming up…buy me something nice…as for hubby…buy your self something nice and say" thanks honey, see what you got me? I love it,
No - stop getting him stuff see how he likes it.
Happy Mother’s Day you are special and loved! I set alerts in my hubby’s calendar
You have every right to be hurt. You need to take yourself out on a Saturday spend all day long getting a pedi manicure & maybe even play a few slots or bingo just something you like to do. Don’t do nothing for them on ur Saturday watch them all cry like babies. It will make you feel better.
You’re not overreacting. A little appreciation is definitely warranted. Not right. Don’t get him anything this Father’s Day and if he asks, express your feelings.
Go on strike for a month . Give yourself the gift of doing nothing for a month . Speak to your husband about the gift you received for Mother’s Day . Let he and the boys take care of everything
It took me a long time, but I’m starting to learn that we teach people how to treat us by what we allow them to get away with
You have the right am sure they think you’re the best
My opinion; you are not over reacting yet you know how your husband is. You will continue to get no gifts or material items for occasions & holidays, sounds like a hard pill to swallow, which it is. You continue year after year to allow these types of actions & behavior from your husband, so it will continue to happen until you put an end to it. Communication is key! Don’t get caught up in materialistic things. Look at your family, your husband, children and be thankful. Us moms never get the credit we deserve, ever…so I understand! Happy Belated Mother’s Day hun.
Sometimes its a thankless job. Sorry
I wouldn’t get him anything for Father’s Day…
Material things don’t matter… U know they love you… Be glad u get a hug … Some mommas don’t have their kids !
You have the right to feel however you want! Yes love/relationships aren’t supposed to be based on material things but think about someone that is materialistic.(I’m not saying you are.) I’m sure it’s a huge part of their relationship because it’s a huge part of who they are. And it sounds like you are a very thoughtful person. I know it’s not easy being a stay at home mom and still managing to buy gifts, I watch my cousin do it year after year.
Same here only my kids do get me things because they are older , I started just not doing anything for father’s day or his bday I do what I want on those days
I just want to hug you. Your feelings are valid
I would have a family meeting… I would explain to them that you are hurt and feel unappreciated. I would then turn to your husband and let him know that he is teaching your sons to not appreciate what you do and that he is also teaching them that this is how women are treated. Then let your boys know that this is not how women are to be treated and if they can’t change their ways you will have to make sure that future significant others know that they don’t know how to treat others… then go on strike and let them fend for themselves for a week.
Oh come on people I dont get bd presents unless I ask for them Christmas I pick out my own except from my oldest daughter she live with her honey mothers day my oldest sent me present in the mail my son gave me a big hug and kiss said happy mothers day and my youngest daughter said nothing just a big smile and I made us French toast for breakfast and it was wonderful it’s not about presents they appreciated me in there own ways it was also our Anniversary 29 years my hubby came home with the tiniest bouquet of flowers ever he has to work mon to fri and every Sunday but they were my favorite I understand what you say but love the small things they appreciate you just my opinion
This exactly the way my hubs and boys …I mean I just buy myself stuff but it’s never the same I mean it could a written note on a piece of paper
Men and boys need reminding as most of the time they are thinking of food gaming and not much else lol maybe just treat yourself on their behalf or kick some bums into gear am remind them who you are and what you do for them x x
So sorry don’t buy things for him by now he should know. And the kids should all so know stop buying for any of them keep the money for yourself. And you something nice. Lol
my BD who im on and off with never gets me anything for any holiday or special occasion yet I always get him something and its usually expensive. I feel the same way, our daughter is 3 so she’s still young. for mothers day this year it was my sister who got me my gift. I wish my BD would get me at least something even if its small. talking to him don’t work for me, but maybe it will for you…
Mother’s Day comes before Father’s Day.
My birthday comes before my husband’s.
In 26 years together, he learned the hard way that the level of effort he puts into MY special days, will be reciprocated in kind, on his.
He found out the hard way, how it feels to be disregarded and dismissed, when it matters most to him.
Nope not at all, I bought my own gift AGAIN! I got a small text from my daughter, I heard nothing from my boys. Nothing put on Facebook, I was so sad all day crying because no one cared enough to acknowledge me. I cleaned all day, and cried. So whoever didn’t get anything, Happy Mother’s Day, you are a true gift to everyone.
Go on strike for a week … a week would probably do the trick.
Yes, you have a right to feel hurt. You should stop going outta your way for your husband if he cant do the same for you. You TEACH people how to treat you.
Honey, that is my life exactly. Except I’m not a stay at home
Mom anymore. But my husband doesn’t believe in Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day or anything like that. So I completely get it. Makes it really hard!
I’m here if you need to vent
This is something I have struggled with in the past also.
But there’s two different types of guys in this world. The ones who do special things with out being told and then the ones who don’t.
I love my dude and my boys but they would never remember to get me things lol also don’t like them wasting money on the thing…that I won’t like or really use. So instead of making them.think to much about It. I throw hints before hand. They know what to get me. I enjoy what I get. And I’m not sad because they didn’t think about me… they’re not intentionally trying to hurt you. Boys just naturally don’t think about these things like we do.
Awww…they should if they know it’s important to you.
I’m like you I have always tried to make my husband feel special and it’s not about being materialistic I’ve always wanted to do something for my husband because I love him. My first husband never got me anything because he said he didn’t have to do anything because I’m his wife already so he didn’t have to put an effort into it no more well now his an EX husband. My second husband I always made sure I did something for him no matter if it was just a cake or something he would always tell me not do anything because he didn’t want to spend his money on doing anything for ME. He’s an EX too. Now husband now is just like me and always tries to make me feel special for every occasion before him any occasion was just another day for me, and now I can’t wait for my birthday
You are right to feel some kind of way it’s called being appreciated and if this person doesn’t know your birthday or your anniversary is coming up obviously he don’t care as much for you, but have you talked to him about how it makes you feel and does he not care still this is something you should have talked about in the beginning of a relationship 14 yrs he is what he is it took me two years to decide if I wanted to live with someone that doesn’t appreciate me not only materialistic but being respected enough too
Men don’t think like women. I have 3 kids and married to my husband for 23 years. He got me a mini frig which was ok. Maybe you should say for Mother’s Day I want such n such. I’ve learnt that just because things should be obvious to the husbands it’s not.
You have the right to feel any way you feel, and Im not surprised that you are feeling hurt. But…it sounds like he has been this way for the whole relationship and has modelled the same for your children. You teach people how to treat you, so if you have accepted this treatment for 14 years, why would you expect any different now? He is probably thinking how fantastic it is that his missus isnt one of those mushy ones that he has to spoil with gifts on special occasions. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, but also understand that he is the way he is and you accepted that a long time ago. All the very best x
I feel you so fucking much!!! Same i got shit i have 3 kids boy and two girl. Son 14, daughters 11 and 7. I’m so overwhelmed I literally do everything for this family and I work he works as well. But I am seriously ready to Just Lose It. Thank you for sharing how you feel because I feel this more than anything. And I have no help and no support from anybody
Apparently, if you want anything, you have to speak up & tell him exactly what you want. Like, tell him, “it’s Mother’s Day. I work hard to be a good mother to our children, & I was hoping you would acknowledge it in some way. Flowers. A date night. Perfume. Something nice to indulge me.”
My boys are 23 and 24 and they really didnt notice mothers day when it came around when they were growing up. But my husband would remind the boys and say we have to get her at least something. But honestly after my husband and i split my boys barely even noticed holidays . I never made a big deal about it and these last two years they have made an effort to at least get me something but it isnt always on mothers day. They get busy and will swing by. My oldest will be by on Wednesday and my youngest will take me out the weekend after Mothers Day. It sounds to me your love language is gift giving. That you appreciate a good gift from time to time. My love language is Quality Time. So my boys just carving out ten minutes of their busy life for me means alot. Hugs from a mom of boys from me to you. Boys are different and they dont recognize holidays as much as girls.
Next Mother’s Day, I’d announce to them all: I sadly noticed you did nothing for me, so in honor of Mother’s Day, I’m taking myself to a delicious lunch, shopping for a nice present, followed by a pedicure. Y’all are on your own for the day.
Make sure he gets nothing for Fathers Day 💁
Yeah really sucks I wouldn’t get him for Father’s Day either we’ll see how he likes it I know it’s not about tit for tat but he needs to realize all the things you do
NO!!! You have EVERY right to.feel this way. I know how you feel. So unappreciated…used even maybe? Im sorry.
My husband did get me something and allowed one out of 6 children to get me something. My oldest 2 didn’t even acknowledge me.
Tell them how you feel after you booked yourself and nice vacation by the beach on your way to your mom-cation and leave them home to figure out your job for a day or two
I have the same issue I didn’t get a damn thing not a happy moms day from anyone well today I popped a gasket it has been real hard since my husband died and I get zero help and I asked my bestie where and when are you going to help as well as my kids I asked the same thing well it’s finally happening I got some appreciation from not only my employer but my family and my bestie
This isn’t about material stuff. It’s about effort. They could have very well made you a beautiful card out of construction paper.
Tell them all how you feel and go on strike!
If u have tried talking to him about it and there’s no change then accept, forget and don’t expect if u want your family to last otherwise if u allow this to eat u up as small as it may seem it may damage your relationship to the point where u won’t be able to fix it. U may fall out of love with your hubby bcoz this.
My ex and I were together for 13years yet he never knew my birthday nor did he recognize it or any of the said occasions including Christmas and new year even if I reminded him of it infact I never heard him appreciate me or even commend me for anything not even once for all the time we were together yet I used to go out of my way for on each and every occasion until I give up bcoz after years of pleading and begging for all that and wondering whether he loved me or not I eventually got conviced that he didn’t love me he just married for some other reasons and I stopped trying and today he’s my ex
Not overreacting at all. You’re a hard worker too, being a stay at home mom is the hardest job, and deserve to feel like you’re appreciated.
Schedule a monthly pamper day. Tell him it covers all gift giving for the year.
Awww momma, I’m sorry. For Mother’s day I sent my husband a link to the product I wanted with very clear instructions. Sometimes I will just order my own present and thank him for it. I know my husband cares but his love language is not gift giving so he struggles in this area. Talk to him about it but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love or appreciate you.
No not at all. I turned 50 last yr. Got 20$ from my mom in a card. My only sibbling never even sent a txt. Shitty 50th. Mind you my mom n sister both got surprised b day partys.
Yes you have a right to feel hurt but you need to sit down and tell them that too! If you sit there and say nothing nothing will change. I don’t get things either for the most part. What I do is tell my husband what he got me and order what I want. It doesn’t bother me but we also live remotely so anything he did order for me would never be a surprise so this is what’s e do. If he happens to be out of town he will go get me something even if it’s not a special occasion and he does a ton of little things that make up for it…even goes to the store and buys me chocolate I like or says I tried to get you this but they didn’t have any and that just shows me he is thinking of me. My kids I don’t expect gifts from them they are adults and we live quite far from each other but I do get my calls and texts from them on my special days which to me is far better than any gift they could buy. I get care packages sent up to em from them and sometimes it’s a list I have sent but there is always something I didn’t ask to be sent and it’s those little things that matter most to me.
Have you ever read the book by Gary chapmen “ the 5 love languages”? Check it out.
It was the best book for me to understand my husbands love language and him mine.
I don’t get excited about gifts, or feeling acknowledged.
My love language is acts of service and quality time. Do things for me and spend time with me. That has more value than an item.
Will book fix how you feel now? No.
Maybe it may help you communicate to him what your needs are.
Men are simple creatures.
I never got anything from my kids. I got a phone call from each of them and we talked for quite a while. They took the time out of their day to spend it with me. Even if it was on the phone.
That’s how my marriage was also…needless to say we are divorcing!! My older kids whom spent more time around their dad most time don’t even tell me happy Birthday, Mother’s Day or any holiday let alone buy me a gift!! My youngest on the other hand is just as sweet as can be🤷🏼♀️I feel for you!! It sucks!!
I don’t think you ar over-reacting for needing some appreciation and acknowledgment as a wife and mother. You have a right to be acknowledged for everything you do. I’ve known a few women who have had the same valid concerns as you. Unfortunately, those marriages didn’t last
Nope I felt the same way and my daughter father has done it since I was pregnant with his child and every year I tell him in advance its Mother’s Day don’t forget and every year on Father’s Day I get him a gift even if it’s a sentimental one I am a sentimental gift giver but every year I go unnoticed. This smart the 3rd ear that I received not one gift so I waz extremely mad to say the least but I prepared myself for it that I went and bought my own mother’s day gifts and then he hit me with the sorry im a last minute shopper. He didn’t attempt but was shopping at the mall that same week. Last minute shopper there wasn’t even a thought not just this holiday all holidays.
I’m surprised your kids didn’t make you a little gift from school unless y’all schools don’t do stuff like that and if not then maybe they could’ve just made you cards at home or at least breakfast. Or also what you could’ve done was just take the day for yourself
Some man just don’t know anything. I’m surprised you endure it that long. My hub is like that too and now I actually bought things myself instead of asking him to get me anything. If he doesn’t know ! He will never try to. Convinced myself buying a flower for myself is just the same with me reminding him
You have every right to feel the way you do. You may not “work” the way he does, but your job is so important and you work 24/7 365…no time off, no sick days…and probably no time for yourself. You should probably sit him down (and the kids depending on their ages) and explain your feelings. If the kids are old enough, they could have made you homemade cards, and explain to him that it doesn’t have to be extravagant but something small would mean the world to you and make you feel valued and appreciated. Teaching the boys to value you and appreciate you will carry on to their relationships in life…
You have the right to expect appreciation on Mother’s Day and other significant occasions. However, after all these years that you tolerated being ignored, he is not going to magically change. Try talking to him, but keep your expectations low.
So sad. Even when you say; " I don’t need anything"…it is just a TOKEN of their love and appreciation… he is not being a good role model for your sons. Is he stingy about other things ?
Boo hoo hoo! Look at the moms that slate homeless right now and the. Only thing they can do is love for one another, you are very selfish!!!
No. Dont think you’re being over sensitive. Just to feel special or appreciated. You said you’re not materialistic but your boys along with their fathers supervision could have made you a meal
You’re the one that takes care of everyone and makes sure your husband and kids have what they need. Since they act like they don’t want to celebrate you, then celebrate yourself. For all of the holidays, look at what is it that you want, what would make you happy. You can’t count on your husband or your kids because they already treat as an afterthought. Spoil yourself, love yourself, focus on you and what it is to make you happy. After 14 years of marriage, you gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything.