I didn't get anything for Mother's Day - Just needing to vent

Give him the same effort that he gives you from now on. I’m sure he’ll get the hint some time. I know it isn’t the material things that get us in a mood, it’s always the thought that counts and if their is no thought, that’s when it hurts. I feel you mama.

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Celebrate yourself! Tell hubby you are taking yourself on a date. Get a mani or a pedi or both, buy something special for you. Maybe even a massage if you like those. Love on yourself if they don’t want to show you their love.

So sorry, you deserve more. Wish I could have gotten you something. I know how you feel

Get out while you can. You are under appreciated. They won’t change!

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Tell him you are hurt. Some guys just don’t know. Make suggestions. “I would really love flowers on Mother’s Day”. You have to spell it out. Give him 3 choices of what you want for the occasion and teach him to take the boys out to help. You are going to have to speak up sister!

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I’m sorry you go through that. I feel it’s investment into your relationship. He really does owe you. I thinks it’s so important for us moms to feel that appreciation. Even if it’s a home made gift. Sometimes they’re the best! ((Hugs to you))

I’m right there with the OP I didn’t even get a happy Mother’s Day. Oh well.

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You are not over reacting you should get pampered every once in a while especially on Mother’s Day I would say honey I know you work a lot and don’t go out your way to make me feel appreciated for all that I do for our family but it would really nice if you did what I did take the boys to the store and buy gifts and by the way let’s start off Mother’s Day again surprise me please !!

If you expect YOU from others you will always be disappointed.

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I would be pissed… I would tell him what you expect. Nothing wrong with wanting to feel special or appreciated. You deserve it

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As someone who only ever got a cactus from the grocery store for Mother’s Day, I can tell you that I stayed in the relationship and wish I hadn’t. People who care about you show you and people who don’t care about you, well, you know it by their indifference. I’m sad to say that to you. Don’t waste another minute. By posting this you already know it.

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My marriage was the same. You have the right to feel any way you want, but unless you say something it won’t change. Sad but true

You are a great Mum Jen, always have been.xx

The life of a women…I got some flowers but I rather be appreciated than have something, ya know. Being a mom is the toughest, underpaid, under appreciated job out there. N for the husbands who don’t do stuff, they need to step there game up! They never think how nice it is for them to reach for a roll of toilet paper n it be there, food in the fridge, clean clothes, towels to wash themselves with ect. But just know ur not alone and majority of women suffer from these feelings😘

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you need to speak up

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Tell him and tell your boys. Some guys just don’t think these holidays are a big deal because they’ve been raised that way too… because let’s face it men don’t think the same way women do especially with holidays. I had McDonald’s for mother’s day dinner … my boyfriend was working but then I explained to my 16 year old…hey you know you could have stepped in and cooked dinner and also explained that no money for a gift doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. Poetry, a homemade card, cleaning the vehicle out or cooking dinner are all small simple
Ways of saying ‘I appreciate you’. I for sure want my boys to learn that occasions should be special… and not to just spoil their partner but to take time to appreciate the people in their lives more than usual on these days!!:blush:

Speak up and tell him EXACTLY how you feel. Men need to HEAR it. Don’t be sad. Be BOLD.

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sounds like single motherhood

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No your not overreacting…your hubby is doing an injustice to you and your boys. They will treat their wife how your husband treats you. He is their teacher and Dad.

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FATHER’S day is next month. I would re-think any plans you have. Mabey this is your opportunity to clarify with him what both of these days should entail…

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You know I’ve been married 27 years and my husband has never paid any attention to holidays or anything special so this is what I started to do. I buy my own gifts and make the day about me screw waiting for them I got tired of being hurt by them and I don’t do anything special for them either anymore like he always tells me it’s just another day.

I am a SAHM & have 7 kids & never expect any kind of gift.I can go without something having to cost money & just enjoy that special day with my loved ones.Being their with them is worth more than something that cost money cause who knows what could happen.Yes there are times I do wish to be pampered or have that special gift but time with a loved one on a special is worth more than anything

When my kids were little my ex husband always took them to buy a card , flowers and / or a gift that came from them . I think that’s what taught my son to do that . He would pick flowers from the side of the road and bring them to me . He will be 37 next week and he now does that with his kids . Takes them to get a gift for their mom . I’m sorry your husband doesn’t acknowledge those special times for you . Maybe that’s why your boys don’t either . They haven’t seen it happen in the home ! Just know that when they are grown and have kids that’s when they really appreciate and realize what their moms did :two_hearts:

Hi Dear. I’m a stay at home, work from home mum. I understand how you feel…but because I can afford to buy what I want, I don’t wait for my hubby, or otherwise known as my “eldest child”, to give me presents. I buy them all for myself. I don’t want to be in the misery of waiting for the time when he finally realizes what marriage is all about.
I can’t even begin to imagine what I got myself into - I LITERALLY take care of everything! But I got tired of whining and feeling sad. So I stopped caring about his limitations and just continue to do what I can do. I’ve never been happier since :grin:
Take care!

Your are special!!! Tell your boys how they made you feel…my husband is the same way, it used to hurt my feelings but I’m over it…he always tells me to buy whatever I need…however he pays the price for his actions…

Go buy yourself and very extravagant gift and when your husband asked why you bought something so extravagant for yourself say well cuz it was mother’s Day and you never bought me anything so I bought it for myself next time you buy me something

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No worries, never expect anything unless asked what you wish. I make do with hugs and kisses. I didn’t get my hugs from one one my children but hey! She is busy. Just as long as they are healthy. Sorry if you didn’t get your mother’s Day wishes. Hugs here.

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That’s terrible. I would make them feel my absence. I wouldn’t cook, clean, lift a damn finger. Her husband is comfortable and doesn’t value her

I can relate. I’m sorry, it really does hurt. I know all too well

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They are learning from there father, tell him it hurts your feelings. He needs to help no matter how much he works, especially for there mother!

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I feel ya! I have 5 kids but spent my day home, with the dogs lol.

Nope you deserve a gift for every holiday. Tell him! A gift card for a pedicure, back massage, Amazon. Tell him you want flowers, chocolate, tell him exactly what you want. Not because you feel you DESERVE IT. You do. But if that’s what you desire tell your husband what will make you happy. I have to tell my kids to make me a Mother’s Day card. :sweat_smile: You’re not alone. But for every holiday don’t hint. Screen shot what you want text email even post a pic on the fridge so he doesn’t forget. 14 years?! It’s mommy time and he’s way over due. In fact I believe a weeks vacation should be in the works this summer.
Life’s too short. Speak up. Be kind and pleasant but you deserve the pamper momma. Stop feeling bad about asking for a little gratitude.

Most men are that way.

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For Fathers day buy something that you like for him. Take out for instance that way you can enjoy it too. Some men don’t think like women do. Sometimes they do need to be reminded. Does he forget the kids birthdays and did he get his mum something for mothers day?

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Your being taken for granted! I can relate exactly!

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I feel Ur pain same thing happens to me and I work aswell and do everything for him kids and his parents…

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Train your boys…I don’t know how old they are but sit them down and stress/explain that to some mothers this is important…

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No you are not over reacting. To not show appreciation to the one person who has everyones back is just rude.
One of the reasons I left my marriage.
Even if it is not a gift. But breakfast, clean the house do the washing anything just so you don’t have to for one freaking day. Is enough

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No you deserve better ,maybe go on strike and look after me .

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Please STOP the ‘it’s better to give than to receive misconception’ Stop :stop_sign: giving GIFTS to those unappreciative Selfish Self Centeted Greedy people, buy yourself something nice instead !! They don’t DESERVE you :100:

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Know da feeling don’t buy nothing for the next occasion forget n see if he notices the things u stop doing n when he mentions it let me know

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My ex was that way. So I just always had craft supplies for them so when a holiday came around i just remind them that in a few days is …Mothers Day…Birthday…so you can make me or whoever something if you want. It has taught my kids that acknowledging a person is important on their special days and it doesnt have to cost a lot of money! They are very thoughtful gift givers now.

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Appreciate your damn self! Celebrate you. If he wants to join you he can. If not, he can watch you make yourself happy. (I’m sure he’s making you do that in other areas as well).

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It’s sad that didn’t even think of you making you breakfast in the morning or making the card or even making a gift for you

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Unfortunately you’re not on your own, I’ve been a mum for over 18 years and received 2 birthday presents, 3 mothers day and possibly 1 Christmas. Any other time I have bought it myself for my kids to give to me, just because they have felt sad that I haven’t received anything. Unfortunately you just get used to it. Now my boys are older they have seen for themselves and I don’t buy for thier dad anymore. I even bought him when we weren’t together, not been together 11 years. It wasnt for me or for dad it was for the kids.

I’m sorry you didn’t get to celebrate You on Mother’s Day! However, you can’t blame the kids if they are not taught differently. So, make sure for Father’s Day you talk with them about doing something for your husband and explain the importance of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to them!! Hopefully your children will remember your words and be guided next year on their own. Remember, it does not have to be a gift bought…they can make something…a cake, cupcakes, a picture, a craft, a homemade card, etc.

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That’s FUCKED UP!

I’m sure there were PLENTY of OTHERS…:broken_heart::sleepy:

I am sorry but this is not ok​:confused: I think that you truly need to voice how hurt that you are to all of them ! The sacrifices that a Mom and Wife make are out of love and constant! Mothers Day is the one Day that should be about thanking you for all that you give of yourself! I am not married nor have I had The blessing of children but I am a Daughter of an Amazing Mom that I do my best to spoil on Mother’s Day. As a Mom and Wife she beyond deserves it and so do you! :heart::bouquet:

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You not. Sit them down and let them know.

Don’t worry dear now ur kids are too young they have no knowledge at all,once they got maturity they will give u lots of suprises to make you happy :heart:

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I didn’t get shit from my so called man hahahajaa hes not a man to me. Jus a narrassist!!!
I’m so sorry if it hadn’t been for my mother I would of not even gotten a happy mothers day imma sahm also!

You need to tell them! teach the boys to be good to their Mother and they will be good to their wives.They are guys! They don’t know! Somebody did not teach your husband, so it is up to you to let him know he is expected to show you the respect and honor you deserve.

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Stop buying for them. Ignore them. Give them a spoonful of their own medicine. Come Christmas and no gift to open from Mom or Wife, they can see what it feels like. I know it’s just material things, but everyone likes them, including Moms!!

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Yes it hurts. It’s hard to want to keep going above and beyond for everyone else, and when it’s your turn, it’s just another day… I lived it for 15 years. I understand.

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That’s how it was when I was married. That’s how it was after my divorce always ignored. 30 years later having raised two kids while working three jobs I’m still ignored. Nobody gives a damn when you are the black sheep of the family just because you got divorced and had kids

Say something about it. If you don’t it will eat at you.

Hi, this post made me feel really sad. You obviously work very hard looking after your husband and sons. I think you need to sit down with them all and tell them how hurt you feel that you weren’t made to feel special on Mother’s Day. I believe that it is important to educate your children to show appreciation and acknowledge those that love you by making kind gestures, a handwritten card, a home made gift or meal. As a Mum myself my children know that l would be deeply hurt not to receive something on special occasions. Maybe hubby needs a ‘reminder’ too :wink: there are ways to indicate your displeasure… if you take my meaning! Stand up for yourself and show your boys that you are ‘worth it’ ( a good lesson for their futures too) :raised_hands:

I think you’re under appreciated but you are in a house full of males. Guys operate on a different level than we do and most don’t pay attention to stuff like that unless it’s something they appreciate. It’s time for a sit down conversation and maybe time to give your boys more responsibility and for you to scale back. That’ll show them how valuable you are.

You ARE NOT over reacting. You are taken advantage of. Hazel could do what we do. At least she gets paid

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You’re not overreacting,
U deserve it!!!

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Buy yourself a gift from them

You need to sit all of them down or your boys will turn out like their father.:disappointed:

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The whole one day a year crawl job is a commercial stitch up anyway. If there’s no appreciation throughout the year, there’s not much point in some fake materialistic forced gesture on one single day a year. You need to withdraw some of the extras you do for those who do not appreciate you and only start doing things for them again when they show genuine love and gratitude for you as a human being. Equally you must show reciprocal appreciation for your family members as a means to teach this vital lesson.

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Start planning for yourself for your birthday, anniversary and Mother’s Day. Give yourself a spa treatment, buy yourself flowers. Do something for you.
Be sure to let the guys know what you got yourself and go out and enjoy yourself.

I was in the same boat with my Ex husband come any holiday I never got anything from the kids or him. We where married 12 years and I finally called it quits and moved on I was always sick of being the giver and never getting anything in return. Now I am in the healthiest relationship and am appreciated for what I do. My kids didn’t get me anything for mothers day but I always do take them to get something for their father for fathers day or his birthday because I want to teach the kids that no matter what it is better to be a giver and not always expect thngs.

I understand this and don’t feel guilty at all for wanting to feel special and receive a gift or something to show you’re cared for especially on mothers day and holidays. I use to feel like maybe I was being to selfish when I would get really upset over stuff like this but at the same time just like you I always went out of my way to make holidays special for my husband and kids. I would express your concerns but at the same time if you’re happy and you have a close relationship otherwise you have to decide if it’s worth fighting over. Once I talked to my husband, like I literally cried (maybe over dramatic but I’ve been with him over 15 years) and we don’t do date nights often let alone him getting me gifts for any holiday. It is hurtful, but I learned if you allow it you can’t expect it to change. I also learned he didn’t grow up with anyone really making a big deal out of any holidays where as I did. All in all, it’s not worth me getting that upset over because I wouldn’t give up our relationship over his lack of gifting. His appreciation and care is in the daily things. He helps with the bills, he helps with house work, and he has never done gifts that great, but at no point in time do I doubt how much he does care for me so over the years I’ve become happier in knowing that and less worried about holidays I just lowered my expectations on that. This year for mothers day I was pleasantly surprised when my kids and husband made a gift and cooked for me. It’s the little things that mean the most, if there is loving caring actions more often than not daily then I wouldn’t worry so much about the holidays. Just don’t settle for not being happy. Also, like others said your children are watching and learning. I have two teenage boys and they know caring actions go a long way. They know to show respect and show appreciation and I always try to show them how important that is.

So stop buying him gifts for those occasions see if that helps his momery

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Say something or it will not change

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yes u have the right 2 receive gifts, me i would appreciate just getting a card 4 the occassion this way i know someone was thinking of me, tell him how u feel and dont get him anything 4 fathers day and if he wonders why just tell him, now u know how it feels not 2 b appreciated.

Get nothing, give nothing. I would have made my own plans and left them to their own devices for the day…you are responsible for your happiness.

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Not over reacting at all n just my opinion the options seem to be either leave him or come holidays birthdays etc you know the kind of person he is n most likely won’t change that so pick something you want show it to your husband n just say this is what I want for my birthday or Christmas…n the kids I don’t know it might not dawn on them that they are leaving you out …maybe have a separate private talk with them about mother’s day and father’s day n how kids usually get the other parent to help them pick a gift or make a gift etc…they might need to hear it…it’s your family be honest with them about how hurt you feel being left out when you put your heart into it for each of them…

You deserve to feel appreciated, cared for, you deserve to be acknowledged. Get him only a big card for Father’s Day and enclose a note telling him how you feel. Or consider leaving it in the table or bed while you give yourself a break for a few days. Do you have a friend or relative you can visit ?

Stop buying for all of them. Your husband may work hard…but so what? That is not an excuse for neglecting you or your relationship. Don’t you work hard?

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Always mention a holiday and gift needed… you are teaching your sons about relationships. Dont let him fail them!

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Buy yourself something nice and let em make their own sandwiches for awhile.

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You have every right. You are not being appreciated!

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My ex-husband would go to the store late and get the last flower and card left. One year he thought I was upset about the yellow mum. But what I was upset about was our boys were getting bigger and he didn’t take the effort to include them.
I was there mom and they should have been the ones picking the flower. It was never about the yellow mum.

No more gifts for any of them. Buy yourself lavish gifts!!!

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I would have been happy if they cleaned the house and made me a meal it is not all about buying u something

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I just got out of a 12 year marriage like this. Only thought of himself. I always went above and beyond for in on purpose, thinking he would feel guilty. I was wasting my time. He moved out with a girlfriend one day. No signs whatsoever. I’ll just stay single and pamper myself.

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Do unto them as they do unto you
Don’t buy them any Christmas birthday etcetera gifts see how they like it ignore their special days

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I’m not understanding why you aren’t divorced and left the ungrateful kids with him.

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Get over it…this ain’t the worse thing that’s going to happen to you in this life time…buy yourself a gift and go on with life

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I would reassess my mothering, if they didn’t know to gift that’s on me!

How damned rude! Walk out. Jokes! Give him a right talking to. That is not acceptable and very disrespectful. Isn’t he meant to be a role model for his sons??!! They all deserve a clip around the ears or, don’t cook or do the washing for a week. That would should the unappreciative jerks.

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I wonder how he would feel if he didn’t get a present on his birthday, Father’s Day, or Christmas? Seriously, would he even notice?

In addition to this being totally unfair and disrespectful to you as a wife and mother, he is setting a terrible example for your children!

I’m going to give you an answer that isn’t petty or hurtful.

I think you should have an open conversation with your husband about your feelings of being unappreciated. Everyone has different love languages. It’s our duty as partners to communicate.

Sometimes it is nice to know that your efforts are seen, whether it’s big gifts or something small. As for your children, depending on their age, maybe it is time to have a conversation about appreciating the efforts that other ppl put into relationships or adult life. This Mother’s Day my child’s dad and my child (3 year old) made me a handmade card and baked me cookies from store bought dough. I didn’t want anything, because personally I don’t like getting things, but I appreciated the gesture.

I’m sorry you felt slighted on Mother’s Day and I hope you find your way through these feelings and maybe conversations.

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I am so lucky having two very lovely men for sons both of whom have always showered me with gifts for important occasions however the thing that moves me most is not what the gift costs but the thought that went into buying it and the love with which it was given.

I don’t acknowledge the holidays. My son knows without a shadow of a doubt that I don’t want or need anything from him on these holidays. It’s a cool feeling for us, both.

You are being disrespected by all of them. How many of your sons say “thanks mom” at least five times a day? Time to put your hair shit away and stand up for yourself. Stop.letting them walk over you and be pigs. Demand the same respect you give them. By the way, it’s time for those boys to start helping you.

Stop cooking for a couple of days… stop doing the laundry … stop it all and see what happens. And for gods sakes quit buying him a gift. You are his gift. His momma didn’t raise him right or was raised by wolves.
Leave at dinner time and go get a pedi/mani!

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I small comment that might help, Beth and I have an allowance automatically transferred to separate personal accounts each week for us to spend on personal stuff without question. Ten years ago I saved mine for some time and purchased a Dog who has become an important part of our lives or a shirt - whatever!