Can you post for me, please? I just need to vent. I’m a mom of 4 boys. I have been married for almost 14 years. I’ve been feeling sad, hurt, unappreciated by my kids and husband. Well, today I didn’t receive anything for Mother’s Day. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I’m the one who looks after the kids and takes care of the house and does the cooking. My husband is a very hard worker and provides for his family, and he is gone most of the day. He is not the typical husband who goes out his way to get me a gift for any occasion. Not for anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s, Mother’s Day, Christmas. The only time he does gives me a gift is because I mention something about whatever holiday or special occasion is coming up. But if I don’t mention anything, I don’t get anything. On the other hand, I always try to buy him something for every occasion. And for Father’s Day, I always take the boys to the store and let them pick something out for him. I know a relationship isn’t based on material stuff, but I, for once, want to feel special. Am I overreacting? Or do I have the right to feel some type of way?
How he treats you,is how he feels about you.
Yes you’re overreacting. You’ve been married this long and still haven’t said anything to him about it bothering you so he thinks it doesn’t. If you want him to step up then you need to step up and communicate
I’m not a mother or a wife, so there’s not much I can comment on, but what I CAN say is that if you were my mom, I’d do exactly what I do for mine. I go all out. Christmas, birthday, mother’s day, just because days, you name it. And if I knew you personally, and knew this is what is happening, I’d be celebrating you like crazy, as I do for others in your situation.
I personally think you have the right to feel that way. Once a year or whatever, he should at least appreciate what you do
You have every right to feel that way. That is so selfish of him. Start doing the same thing to him and see what type of reaction you get if any reaction ask him how does it feel.
If he never gets your gifts for any holidays why would this one be any different? I think you are setting yourself up for false expectations. For instance my fiance does always give me gifts for holidays and what not but he never is on social media. Me expecting some fancy post on fb doesn’t normally ever happen so why even expect it? Lmfao. If this is something that bugs you that much address it with him. Tell him you don’t feel appreciated
I never get anything. It doesn’t bother me tho because I’m a giver not a receiver. My sons school got me a flower and a card but that’s it lol Plus I know they’re all grateful of me
Single mother of 2 here. Not only did I not get anything thing, I didn’t even get a Happy Mother’s day.
I would be hurt to and I would not take the boys out shopping this year for fathers day gifts let him see how it feels
Good man who provides, i would not complain
I never get anything for Mother’s Day, Christmas or my birthday, yet my 36 year old lives with me rent free and pays absolutely nothing but a $30 water bill each month. And as is often the case, it’s cut off right now.
You need to let him know you feel unappreciated
So stop doing the extra for him. I dont think its unreasonable to want to feel appreciated. But talk to him first. Tell him how you feel.
You have to tell him how u feel. I been married 12yrs together 17 & we didn’t get this far by not communicating
That’s f’d up… they could at least get flowers or make a card.
You r not overreacting. You deserve to get gifts. Stop buying him anything. You need to be talking to him. He needs to be teaching the kids also.
You mentioned not getting any gift but did who do anything like take over the cooking for the day? Sometimes it’s not the material gifts that matter
I buy for myself… maybe u should follow suit?
Honestly iv been in the exact same boat. There is a thing called “Love language”. Have gifts and giving gifts mayne the way you show and receive love. It’s a real thing. You have to be open and honest with him and how you feel. Hopefully he can and will understand and respond well. Good luck. Sending you lots of love. Motherhood is always so Unappreciated. You are doing amazing job.
My husband is the same way, which is why I buy my own gifts no matter how expensive. He don’t want to show appreciation for all I do, I’ll just give myself a little bonus here or there. ALSO, I no longer give him anything… he wants something, he better find away to get it himself. I also quit cooking or cleaning up after him.
I didn’t get anything either and I asked for a hanging flower basket.
Im not with my sons father but we live together and not only did he tell me happy mother’s day he got me flowers and gifts and told my mom happy mother’s day and got her gifts my own sister even told me and our mom happy mother’s day and got us gifts so no you’re not over reacting he seems like an asshole to never get you anything on any holiday is crazy
Simple 2 way street. Ignore special days for him. Nothing makes him special.
you mentioned that he is not that type of husband. It seems you’ve accepted this about him for 14 years so if you want or expect something different you need to let him know… he’s not just going to change something if he doesn’t even know it bothers you.
You married a thoughtless man. A heartfelt card, a foot massage, some well-spoken words all cost little to nothing. I am sorry I feel you.
I’m just saying if you have a debit or credit card I would just get something. A little mother’s day shopping spree.
My advice is to sit down and talk with your husband about how you are feeling and why you’re feeling that way. If your children are old enough to understand…speak tot hem one on one.
My ex used 2 do this 2 me. Then I stopped buying him anything 4 any occasion.
I’m also married, have a baby by him, and am also pregnant now. I also did not get anything for Mother’s Day, or any other holiday for that matter. It makes me feel like I’m not appreciated and makes me feel unloved. I didn’t even get told Happy Mothers Day until I said something about it. So I’m in the same boat. It makes you feel worthless. I can’t fix your problems bc I can’t even seem to fix mine, but I’m available if you need someone to vent to.
You are not over reacting at all !!! That’s bullshit & you need to tell all their ass’s off …then leave the house& have a total me day… and go on complete strike till they start showing some real appreciation
Well my birthday was 2 days before mothers day and I didn’t get a “Happy birthday or happy mothers day” on either.
no you have every right.
but men do not usually celebrate occasions because they do not remember these occasions…that’s why you get something when you tell him one is coming up.
I didn’t get anything …but I did got the happy mothers day phone calls etc…Men have a head with squares inside and they only tend to one square at a time…they cannot multitask or think like women…they are very different to us …and not to mention…at no point they know what’s bothering us until we say lol…hang in there …all the ppl in your house are boys…so let them know next time upfront…
Tom…mummy would really like that glass dish I saw down the shop for mothers day…ask daddy to get that for you for me…simple…
all the best
No…this is what’s called divorce material.
I used to be in the same boat. My ex never did anything for any holiday. I went all out every one of them for him and we were togetherfor 16 years and have two children. I wish I knew why exactly, but as I first mentioned, this is now my ex
Focus on the other 364 days of the year. You get to stay home while he works hard, that’s a gift. You have beautiful children that’s a gift. Flowers last a few days, chocolates last a moment on the lips and forever on the hips. Material gifts are temporary. The gifts he gives you the other 364 days a year are much more meaningful
If you have previously said that this bothers you, then yes you have the right to feel hurt about it. But if you haven’t communicated that there’s a problem to fix, then he can’t fix it. Look up love languages and figure out what works for both of you
Talk to him and tell him how you feel. A man that loves you will listen and try to do better, if he gets angry or blows you off; there’s a problem.
Make a reservation at your favourite restaurant and let everyone know when and where…Make it a tradition for Mother’s Day that you all go out to your favourite place for dinner. Maybe they will take a hint, you are not over reacting hugs to you
Happy Mother’s Day!!! Your worth a million roses.
People have different love languages. Perhaps you appreciate gifts but he appreciates quality time - he’s not going to think about giving gifts. And sometimes you really do have to spell it out for people.
Your a stay at home mum yeah u work 24/7 without pay or a holiday .
Time for u to stop just stop go on strike your a wife and mum not their slave !!!
I learnt I’ve done it .
When they ask for dinner say don’t know get it yourself ,grab a bottle of wine sit out side in the sun and u give your self a day off and u drink that whole bottle . Once u do this you will do it at least once a week ,it’s ok to put u 1st and stop buying your hubby stuff and see if he notices ,
Also go buy your self a presents I used to why because I bloody deserved it
Reading your post I said to myself omg I’m not the only one??? Amd yes I do communicate with my husband but he is a forgetful soul and I’ve learned to accept it. But the good thing is he never questions me or even ask about the things I by myself and the times I spent to much on something for myself. He says if that’s what I want than I deserve it. So I guess I have nothing to complain about.
Marriage is a partnership. If you stay at home or work, if you go out of your way for him while tending home and the kids then it’s not asking too much for him to do something for you too.
Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him to set alarms on his calendar of he needs too. But wanting small tokens of appreciation is not selfish at all. Until recently I was the working parent and hubby stayed home with our one kid. No home tending. I worked, if I wanted dinner I made it, if house needed cleaning I had to do it. I got pissed when he couldn’t even bother a happy holiday depending on holiday.
Tell him you want to feel appreciated when you go out of your way to make sure he feel appreciated. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
Bunch of petty women on here
Sounds like none of them appreciate all the work you do for them. I’d go on strike & start packing my stuff. Since this isn’t new behavior, he’s already shown what he thinks of you. (I’m a single mom & didn’t even get a happy mother’s day, either.)
I am so sorry. Sometimes people don’t recognize how good something is
Kick his ass to the curb. No lady deserves to be treated like that. I cannot believe that men actually treat the ones they purportedly love in this fashion. Parents need to teach their children how to properly treat their significant other.
You’re not alone in this!! Trust me!!
I’d imagine he probably feels some type of way because he only gets gifts with money he has earned though…
Been with my bf for 7 yrs we have a 3 yr old and same. I got nothing. Not even a happy mothers day. but I honestly didn’t even think about it and I’m the " u don’t give a sh**" type person… but if it really bugs you, talk to him. If he criticizes you then yea, maybe there’s an issue. Js
I guess all I’m going to say is you knew what you married if you’ve been together that long why would you expect anything different now?
This Father’s Day don’t get him a present don’t take the boys out to get him a present. Let him have a taste of his own medicine then you may find you get some appreciation I did that
Been with my husband for 17 years, I didnt get anything either. And my 20 yr old had me blocked on Facebook. I took myself to the casino, where I won $680.00 I don’t need anyone to appreciate me, i appreciate myself.
Mother’s Day was declared after WW2. For those mothers who lost their sons at war. It is a time to be humble not expectations
He is very inconsiderate, and you should tell him just how you fell, because your raising children expesically boys that will treat their ladies that way …we deserve that and I demand the same respect…is he mentally stable …or just mean
Communication is key. It’s one thing if you’re communicating how you feel and he still barely acknowledges any special occasions nor bothers to celebrate them with you, versus actually communicating your needs and him making the effort. I know a lot of people might be like, “you shouldn’t have to remind him or communicate such and such because he should already be aware” But in all honesty, sometimes people aren’t the greatest at picking up on signals nor bestowing their love and affection in other ways besides merely providing for their family…
No you are unerappreciated for sure. I feel you .
My hubby is the same way. Never gifts unless I ask. Never thinks about going on a date unless I plan it. But I have been the bread winner the past 10 years but he has free access to my bank account… I kinda agree that if it’s been this way the whole time, we shouldn’t expect anything different. But at the same time, it would be nice to feel appreciated. I don’t want to have to ask someone to appreciate me. If I do, then I don’t want it.
Well my husband doesnt get me stuff because he hates the thought of getting me something that i might not like. If he knows i want something he will get it for me but if he doesnt know he wont. I dont blame him. He doesnt do shopping that well. Im the one that does shopping. My husband doesnt ignore holidays though. He tells me to buy what i want with his card. (Not like oh take a shit ton of money lol) like for mothers day he knows ive been wanting the show harpers island. So he gave me his card and told me to order it. Cause like i said hes not good at shopping. Maybe see if your husband might be the same. Sit down and talk to him. It might be easier for you guys if you start saying hey for such and such holiday why dont you get me this or that. Now if he starts being a dick about it thats a different story
Your not over reacting. My husband or my kids didnt verbally tell me happy mother’s day. My 31yr gave me a card that wasn’t even signed. My mom gave my disabled daughter a card to give me and she practically blind but still signed it. So I know how you feel. Happy belated mothers day
I am a stay at home mom and I didn’t get anything not no happy mother’s day nothing so I feel your pain o yeah me and my kids dad been together for 17+ years
I feel this… my s/o ditched me with all the kids on mother’s day and went to work all day even tho he didn’t NEED to he just didn’t wanna be around me. And I ended up doing the same stuff I do every day as a sahm(laundry, dishes, baths making dinner) and when he got back he played video games the rest of the night. Luckily my kids were cute and made me little homemade “gifts” (they wrapped my own jewelry in little pieces of paper and gave them to me😂)
Don’t do anything for fathers day… act like you forgot and see what happens… at that point reevaluate the situation… if it doesn’t bother him then yall need to talk about what love language yall are speaking… if it does explain that this is what you’ve been dealing with and that more of an effort needs to be put in… just because its been happening for 14year doesn’t mean it’s not bothering you now… you are allowed to change you outlook on things at any point.
Are you overreacting? You set the standard. Do for yourself. Someone needs to train your sons. Don’t be so petty as to turnabout.
I to have this problem. The kids will figure it out as they age, without an example… it will take them time. For dad, tell him how you feel, it may help…it may not. As long as the rest of your life is good… sometimes we have to live with some crap …to keep the happy part
I feel almost the same way!
Sounds like your husband is an a****** just saying I would buy him another thing the rest of his life
You teach people how to treat you show the same respect for them by not getting them birthday presents or a fathers day present. And when they complain say OH I THOUGHT WE STOPPED ALL THAT NONSENSE , SENSE I DIDNT GET ANYTHING FOR MOTHERS DAY, teach them what a real woman does when she isn’t appreciated
He don’t do it he never has he never wanted to . And you married that knowing that.
Bit late to start moaning now .
Time for an upgrade .
So sorry…I no how u feel my husband died from cancer I have 5 kids all r out house…they all live 10 min away…I got nothing either not even call text or visit. I have never forgotten a birthday or anything… feeling un loved…just damn sick of it…my health is bad getting ready for surgury none of my kids ask if I’m ok…just sick of it…a call would be nice…liveing in this world alone…
Mine went to the pub he was a no show mother’s day
Those boys are learning from him. Remind him of that. No need to say anything else
Neither did I, in fact I had to pay my boyfriend back for what was bought for my daughters bday, and she has none him since she was 4 months old, now she’s 4. I’m sorry your feelings are hurt. Men aren’t like they used to be.
Buy something for yourself. Something you’ve been wanting but didn’t want to spend the money on. He will either get the picture, get mad for spending so much money and will take it upon himself next time, or you’ll start a new tradition of spending money on yourself and buying yourself what you want for holidays without any recourse.
Girl im in the SAMEEEEEEE boat as you, only I work too A lot! Mother’s day I cleaned ALL DAY
Soooo. Why u upset if u know who he is?
He is wrong. Appreciating, and showing appreciation in front of his kids, for their Mother is VERY important. They learn from Him how they will treat the women in their lives. It is a big deal
You tolerated it for 14 years … You molded this behavior by allowing it and either not saying anything to him or leaving…
I didn’t get anything either. But my husband did get his mother flowers, teddy bear and a balloon saying happy mother’s day. I didn’t say anything until we got home. I told him that is f’d up because for 16 yrs I have got up different early morning hours made coffee and breakfast…got your work clothes together…you come home to a hot meal…your work clothes always washed and clean. I haven’t stopped. Meanwhile you stopped giving me flowers, cards for just because or holidays.
I went through the same thing with my ex husband. Eventually I stopped making things special for him and he got mad because I did it on purpose. He didn’t change. And when I finally filed for divorce (for many reasons, not just this) he said he thought about everything I was upset about and he told me I was right and wanted to try again. I said no. If me filing for divorce was the only way he “got it” and heard me then he wasn’t going to change.
You have every right to be upset but you also need to tell him you are upset. Men aren’t really bright sometimes.
You deserve better go out and spoil yourself for just 1 day let your hair down
Maybe his mind is on providing for his family and not on material gifts. I would expect something as well, but I made it a point to tell my man that I wanted something for my first mother’s day…he didn’t disappoint, would he have without me telling him? Probably, but he isn’t a mind reader.
Same boat sweetheart! My mom bought me a gift weeks in advance and has it shipped so everyone in my home KNEW Mother’s Day was coming! My middle son had something for me because of what they did at school and HE made sure to help my 5 year old daughter to write a little note! My husband and 15 year old son didn’t do anything! And now I’m in this funk of depressed sadness and irritation because I’m still doing for everyone but feel so forgotten about. My love language is doing for others and not gifts but Mother’s Day is the ONE day where it’s not supposed to be about anyone else (which I don’t mind that we were away at rugby) but just a little something, for me, like what about me! You aren’t alone, I’m there with you and we both (and I’m sure many more), feel the same way, and we have a right too! We do such a hard job and it’s very selfless and thankless half the time, so showing it one day isn’t that hard. It’s just one of those feelings of “what about me,” and I hear you!
no no no…how dare them and your husband for not appreciating you for all the loving things you do for them…words or handwriting a love note doesn’t cost a thing.you do not sound like a high maintenance person. if you give and give with nothing back it’s time for tuff love. let your husband pay for a house keeper and you go back to work …
This is not ment to sound snotty but, if you knew that about him you knew what to expect…if you say he works really hard he very well could honestly just forget without constant reminders . If you’re home with the kids mostly, it may fall upon you to show the kids what’s important. If it really does bother you, you could sit him down and talk with him and ask why he never gets you anything unless you ask…hope you figure things out for yourself
You work just as hard as he does he should show appreciation to you
This is the exact same thing I go through but even if I mention holidays I still don’t get anything lol. It deffinitly does suck though and when I stop doing as much for him then he gets upset but they don’t think about how we feel.
Your certainly taken for granted…
I would buy him a calendar for fathers day with all occasions on and ideas for a gift and ‘don’t forget the card!’ Note.
Sounds like you married a thoughtless prick!
You might want to tell him u feel special when he gives you gifts. Cause it sounds like gifts might be apart of your love language and not his. Communication is always key!
Same with me and my husband but I don’t stand for that shit because gifts and shows of appreciation are my love language. I’ve never been a cuddly, kissy, lovey dovey type of wife but because those things are my husbands love language I try very hard to be more affectionate, despite the underlying reasons why I’m this way in the first place, I put fourth a strong effort, I work from home as well as stay home with our kids and if I tell him I want something for a holiday he’s either gonna reciprocate my love language or I’m gonna be on his ass
You go buy you something .
Yep im dealing with the same thing 5 boys here…oldest 18 and youngest 3 months old…I work and take care of all of the kids and the household…been with husband for 11 years been married 1 year fixing to file a divorce!
That’s pretty awful. Start doing it to him.
Tell your feeling, and how is it possible the school does not doe anything for it? I feel you and its good that you speak your mind
This is really sad, I’m sorry.
They should of done something for u u need to be heard!!!
Don’t buy anything for any of them on their special days. See if they get it.