I didn't get anything for Mother's Day - Just needing to vent

Communication is key … Tell him … most likely hell say go get yourself something here’s the cash - that’s how a lot of men work when they are busy with work all the time . Most men just aren’t wired that way … Stupid but true

7 Likes

You have every right to feel that way!!

2 Likes

It sounds like he doesn’t know how great he has it

4 Likes

I have been single for 13 years. I have 2 son’s. One is 23 and the other 13. Im so use to doing it all and not getting anything for Christmas, Birthdays & Mother’s Day. This year my youngest got Mw flowers and a card which was sweet and he cleaned the house. Try not to let it bother you. Men just dont get it most of the time bit every once in awhile tbey surprise you.

In today’s World You have a Home a Husband Four Sons and You get to STAY AT HOME!!! Most WOMEN have to WORK OUTSIDE their HOMES to help PAY the Mortgage!!!Boo Hoo You!!

11 Likes

Why do u expect from others… you should be your own favorite… pamper your own self rather than hurting yourself… go out on your own… be your own friend… honestly I do that many a times… and I don’t see a harm in respecting your feelings … look for happy spots in life mama and be thankful for all you got :heart:

1 Like

I feel you sad but true😭

1 Like

If he’s not cheating on you, you’re blessed, even if you didn’t get anything for Mother’s Day. This kind of thing isn’t new to you so you shouldn’t let it bother you. My ex never remembered ANYTHING and now I get calls from him on my birthday, Christmas, Mother’s Day, etc.

You need to say something. You’re raising 4 boys that will someday be husbands/fathers themselves. They need a better example set!

6 Likes

Love is the details. Sometimes we have to tell (remind) them the details.

1 Like

I have a very close person in my life that is also dealing with the same thing her children did nothing. It’s bullshit I’m sorry it’s plain bullshit. Tell them they can all make dinner for the next week.

My husband is the exact same way…

You have every right to be hurt

2 Likes

Hell yeah you deserve a prezzy. My partner is the same I have to be like hey so it’s this day coming up what you gonna get me or I tell him I’m going shopping ti buy his gift for whatever day and hes like oh yeah cool I’m gonna get yours later. Totally bullshit he always forgets. Maybe make a list of stuff youd like and slap it on the fridge or on his pillow and be like pick one buy it for me and wrap it up

If he listened to a radio, turned on the tv or work around people he knew that Sunday was mothers day! The word got around! It was not a secret!
It was out for everyone to know about!
My kids are grown ! I do get the call or a visit! That is really awesome!
But for the man not to do anything. … I hope you know what a cast iron skillet is for !

Treat yourself…maybe forget a birthday and see how they react

1 Like

You said he’s a hard worker and good provider, that is probably HIS way of showing you he loves you. I would have given anything if my ex was a good provider for our family.

1 Like

I am absolutely shocked by reading how fucked up all of your husbands are. That is disgusting. My ex wife cheated on me and I have full custody of my four kids and I still took them to the store to pick out gifts and a card for Mother’s Day. I do the same for her birthday and Christmas! Smfh! Being single is not bad at all. Leave these losers! Sorry. But this really pisses me off. Being a good husband doesn’t mean you don’t hit your wife and scream at her. Not even close. I am very sorry all of you are going through this bullshit!

You deserve those gifts since you work just as hard as he does, if not a little harder since he’s gone for a lot the day. Your not over reacting

1 Like

I’m not going to tell you how to feel but will share I was a stay home mom (my kids are in their early 20s now) and I got nothing for mother’s day not even a call, text, post… Nothing…

Too much focus is put on commercial holidays… Especially if you end up feeling bad if you don’t “get anything”…

I’m single too so I go through this shit with Valentine’s day too…

Oh not to mention Xmas… I might get one lil gift if that…

You are not alone :grin:

1 Like

Here’s my take on it, I’ve been with mine almost 14yrs as well, I knew from the start he isn’t big on holidays and I’ve excepted that, the kids on the other hand he always makes sure they pick something out for me. So stop going out of your way for him

No your not asking for too much. I’d be happy with just a card.

1 Like

You have every right to feel some type of way. I would say something to your husband.

So complaining about being a stay at home mom… with a man that sounds like works his ass off so you have that opportunity to be home and stay with your children. While he works and loses the time with his children to provide for his kids and wife… sounds pretty fair to me. I mean flowers die… candy gets old. But a roof electric and I’m sure whatever you want to spend his hard earned money on sounds pretty appreciated… I mean you said you don’t earn any money but take the kids out for Father’s day so tech he is buying his own gift…

1 Like

My eldest child is 27. I’ve never received anything when i was with their father. But i did the fathers day and birthday for him for 7 years. We separated due to other reasons.
I wag single for 15 years my kids only got me anything due to mothers day stalls cause my birthday and mothers day are very close sometimes on the same day.
Then i was seeing someone for 4 years. Again i remembered his birthday and even went out of my way to do a fathers day for him even though he never had children but he was there for mine. Still i received nothing. I’ve have been single for the last 4 years or so. I got to the point i ended up not saying anything again about my birthday or mothers day. I still have one child at home who is 13. My 22 year son has moved home to. This year they surprised me with a small gift for mothers day which was big for me as my daughter went to her grandfather to help her. I do not expect to receive anything for my birthday i usually buy myself something for it. It’s heartbreaking when you gotta buy yourself presents. I now have a partner but it’s a very new relationship. I choose not to tell him it’s my birthday tomorrow because i don’t want him to feel pressured too buy me anything. It’s not fair on him.

Maybe he simply just doesn’t know how to show it🤷🏾‍♀️ I’ve noticed that quite a lot of men weren’t taught how to “love” their woman, only taught how to provide for the family. I’d sit and talk with him about your feelings and take it from there. I’m not gonna sit here and judge cause I obviously don’t know the guy. He cares for you and your family but it sounds to me like he just doesn’t understand how much a woman goes through on a daily basis emotionally, mentally, and physically. Talk to him and maybe he needs some time to understand.

3 Likes

I didnt get anything either, didn’t really want anything. Both my kids texted me and posted cute stuff on Facebook. I’m also on the way to dinner tonight because everyone is home. Your kids are at the age were they should be doing it. Clearly they watch the way your husband treats you! I’m sorry😔

No you have a good reason I have 6 kids only 2 of my kids got me plants one texted me this morning all it said was hay it hurts I am going to by myself gift just because when they ask where I got just going to say it was left on door step with a note saying happy mothers day sorry its late

A small token of appreciation goes a long way… It’s clear you’re losing focus and getting tired… No you’re not wrong… You just want to be recognized for the great Mom wife you are… It could’ve been something so small and that would keep you going without feeling unappreciated… 14 years is a long time and you just want to feel the same love you give…

2 Likes

Men! Many don’t know what day it is…lol dont feel sad, and start putting a note or sign on the fridge a week before holidays including Fathers day…make it a big sign or advertisement of something you’d like to receive

taking advise from single women, yeah that will show him

2 Likes

I’m no mom. I never get anniversary or birthday gift from my spouse. I been married 42 years. Don’t feel bad. My dogs show more affection.

The thing about feelings is you can’t control them. If your feelings are hurt that is valid. Some husbands (and wives too) are just not good at the gift giving thing and if the kids aren’t old enough to think about it or go shopping themselves sometimes mama misses out on the fun stuff. There’s nothing wrong with some reminders. When my kids were teens I would post on their newsfeed “10 more shopping days til Mother’s Day “. Lol. Make it funny and fun. Try not to be sad though. :heart:

2 Likes

Take the day for yourself, celebrate yourself, take yourself to the spa, out to dinner, enjoy you time.

1 Like

I’ve learned a long time ago to stop expecting things from others including birthday/holiday celebrations as I was always disappointed! So… I started celebrating myself—for ME!! Book a spa day? Go to dinner & a movie alone or with a friend, plan an over night getaway for yourself & relax! You can have all this planned so your husband & kids know you won’t be home! & id continue to be your fabulous self & celebrate your loved ones special days like you are doing! That says a lot about the kind of person you are! :heart:

6 Likes

I had to look to see who posted this. I know many women in the same boat. Just plan heart breaking to say the least. Sad part is children learn what they live. Please be understanding when your daughter in laws come crying on your shoulder. He’s a piss poor example for a father!! Happy late Mother’s Day to you! Now!! DONT EVER BUY HIM A THING EVER AGAIN FROM HIS BOYS!! Or from you!! :cry::cry::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart:

8 Likes

This is literally me! But 3 kids and boyfriend of 6 years. I just decided he’s not gonna get anything for any type of holiday or occasion, and if he brings it up to me, that’s when I can bring up Mother’s Day and whatever holiday

1 Like

Tikesha Thomas I didn’t know Cohen was married again story of my life

1 Like

I told my husband and my son I didn’t want them to buy me anything. My son kissed me and wished me Happy Mothers Day and I felt very lucky. You should tell your husband about the way you feel,unpreciated,. Don’t your kids makes things at school for Mothers Day??

Give what you get nada

2 Likes

If you haven’t told him how you feel, how would he know?

Father’s day is coming up don’t take the children to buy anything let it go this year let him see how you feel

6 Likes

Yes you have a right to feel hurt, but have you expressed this frustration with him? If after 14 yrs you let it continue without telling him it hurts, he may find nothing wrong with it

2 Likes

Thats understandable…even if a gift cant be afforded which i know is not your case cUz u said he’s a hard worker but at least a kiss and big hug and a i love you and maybe cook u a dinner give u a massage or a home made card…just something to show you your loved and appreciated

3 Likes

Take the boys to the store and give them an amount of money and tell them to pick out something they would want you to have for mommy’s day in appreciation of you. Even if you see it. Buy wrapping paper and bring it home have them wrap them and save them for after dinner and then they can each bring them out for you then. This isn’t only for you but for them to learn as well. And they can give them to you and you can open them up infront of your husband maybe then he will get the picture of the excitement. Or you could ask a relative or friend to do this for you. Take them shopping that is.

3 Likes

Nope you are not over reacting. It’s not hard to show someone appreciation.

1 Like

We all deserve recognition and appreciation

1 Like

If it’s important to you, it should be important to him.

I think you should use this as an opportunity to start buying yourself things in the name of these occasions because he is not going to change. However, your children do need to still learn to be thoughtful towards their mother, and they probably aren’t going to learn it from their dad. So you’re going to have to talk to your husband about that.
You handle every other holiday birthday event occasion, he’s got mother’s day, valentines day, your birthday. It’s not that hard.
And talk to your boys about being thoughtful without bashing their father about not being like that.

1 Like

Communication. Communication. Communication is the :old_key: to every relationship. Have a :heart: to :heart: talk with your family and tell them how you feel. Not on socmed. Cook them a nice dinner and discuss it over a nice meal. Boys are not very expressive. Very few are. You have to tell and spell it to them. As my husband always says, he is not a mind reader. He needs to be told what I want. So have an ‘open’ dialogue with your family. They are all boys, not a mind reader. :crossed_fingers:t2: Happy Mother’s Day to you. :cherry_blossom::hibiscus::blossom::heart_eyes::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::kissing_heart:

You need to tell your spouse how you feel.
He may forget the special days because unfortunately most men do.
You can suggest he add reminders to his phone, mark it on Calendar’s
Etc

Your hubby is a jerk!

1 Like

Sounds like a normal man to me, your over reacting, you know he loves you by going to work and providing you and everyone else, you work at home raising the family, you can buy yourself whatever material thing you need, he wouldn’t give a shit I bet, the type of men that always get something for there girl end up in divorce down the line, they end up going out with the guy that doesn’t give 2 shits about them, so to answer your question, be carful what you ask for, you might just get it.

2 Likes

Thats pretty shit. Go buy yourself something nice

Don’t get him anything ignore him like he ignores you that goes for your kids fathers day as well

1 Like

Buy yourself gifts. This isn’t who he is & shouldn’t expect any change now without feeling some type of way. Be happy.

1 Like

I feel ur pain not good at all

Ok. Let me say this. I didn’t get anything either. I was pissed and hurt and felt unappreciated as well. My fiancé is always giving me stuff left and right nice nice things so I though for sure I was going to get something for Mother’s Day. NOPE!! Nothing. The whole night I was hurt I even slept on the couch and cried myself to sleep. The next day he came home from work with a huge bouquet of flowers. He told me how much he loves me and that he never wants me to feel unappreciated. So I would suggest talking to him and telling how you feel. We are moms, we hold the fort down, we deserve to get celebrated and i think the least he can do is give you some flowers. If mine didn’t come through I was already talking about no longer celebrating holiday ect ect I was Pissed lol. Hugs momma. I can send you something if you have a secure P.O. Box ect just me know

1 Like

We are in the same boat darling

My husband & I have been together almost 13 yrs & I can count on one hand how many gifts he’s given me. He says he doesn’t know what I like. How the hell can you be with someone for that long & not know anything about them? I don’t buy him gifts anymore. I don’t try anymore, cuz he never has.

2 Likes

I’m so sorry that your family does not seem to appreciate how hard you work. I personally would put them on notice that you are mo longer the cook, laundry lady or housekeeper. I would be passing out a chore chart, which would include your husband.

I’m sorry but your husband is not teaching your boys any respect. Your boys will emulate exactly what they learned from your husband. Either your husband is a dick or super clueless. And for the love of God, don’t celebrate or reward any of them till they figure it out!

2 Likes

Lots of different ways to give love. Is he a good provider? :pray:

1 Like

I feel you hun… still going through crap… I didn’t get anything… not even a sleep in cause really that’s all I wanted… us mum’s never get any appreciations or recognition…I’m up every morning with kids n he complains he never sleep but yet is always in bed…

You’ve heard “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Well sometimes you have to take a step back and stop dishing out until the absence is noticed. In other words, stop doing so much for others. When it surfaces it’s ugly head, smile, and say “Happy Mother’s Day.”

I was in that position once and in my opinion, he is teaching those boys wrong. I had 7 boys and though they r grown, I know it’s their wives/girlfriends who have to remind them now.

Make yourself priority. I had to learn. Life too shy. Buy what you want. Go out dress up hang by yourself. Even if it’s too drive around for a few hours, to mall. It’s about you Not family.

Have you spoken to him about this? Some men just don’t care that much about holidays. My husband is one of those but I told him I care and he has made a great effort with things like that.

Forget dinner. Forget every birthday for the next year.

3 Likes

My husband is the same way

You know what I would do. I would take the credit card and make sure I had some flowers in my home and a gift. Lol… HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ME!:heartpulse::joy:

Well father’s day is next…

There’s a book called “The Five Love Languages.” Really good insight on how different people show (and expect to) receive love. There’s Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Receiving gifts. Your love language may be “receiving gifts” (and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that) while his love language may be, for example, acts of Service: mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, working-all ways he may show you love. Great book and a relatively short read. I highly recommend it.

5 Likes

I am a mom of four & married 4 yrs and I didn’t get anything this yr either. But our anniversary is right there as well so I got him a trailer, zero turn mower, weedeater.

You better take that credit card and go shopping for yourself.
Ha and don’t do anything for any special holiday for anyone including the kids … and see how they feel … sometimes a reality check is needed

1 Like

I got a text, in this order - from my future daughter-in-law, then the young woman a I gave up for adoption in 1985, then my step-daughter. Close to 9pm, my only son texted me (I will forgive as he was working). I never heard from my daughter or her husband, which I was hoping I would but didn’t hold my breath as I would be dead now. My husband, who isn’t my children’s father bought me jewelry saying it was from Max - the boxer. My children’s father (deceased/died after 25yrs of marriage, never got me anything - stating I wasn’t his mother and he never took the kids shopping to get me anything). I’ve been married/divorced, married/widowed and am remarried, this husband is nothing like the first two. You can’t change the person your married to and I don’t know if mentioning your feelings will make him think your complaining (using the nice word). I don’t know how your spouse was prior to marriage as many men “court” but once they get married stop, which is a shame as it can be “rewarding” for them in many ways.

Forget to clean. Forget to wash clothes. Forget to tend to the house and kids. I bet he remembers you didnt feed him or wash his clothes.

Be happy he provides for you and your family. That’s more than enough.

4 Likes

Guess he doesnt need a fathers day gift stop doing their laundry and stuff for a wk I’m a mom of 4 3 boys and married and I always get something coffee in bed dinner a break from the house this year hubby was able to get me a mothers day ring so my advice treat urself n let them hang for a wk by themselves

You have every f××××n right to be upset. I dated a guy who felt the same way. "You’re and adult, you should understand " is what i was told. So i removed him from my life. You are an awesome mom. Stay at home moms rule. If u can, do something for by yourself. I am single so i treat myself to whatever i want. Have your husband watch the boys for the evening and/or weekend and have a great time. You deserve it.

Women stop buying things for them too, no gifts nothing… Tell them when its a special day for you to celebrate and nobody is reacting … Loud when everybody is around, thank you for wishes and gifts for me today, next time when its ur turn i will not do anything inly for u all to remind… And doing it… Nobody says anything on ur birthday, ignore this people on them birthday too… I know it’s hard specially when you think on ur children but I guess they are not so small anymore

4 Likes

Approach the subject like an adult and talk to him. Asking the free world what You should do in Your relationship… is dumb. Be an adult and talk to him about what is bothering you about him. Like adults do. Plain and simple.

You’re not overreacting you deserve better an he should do better teaching his sons how to appreciate women. :heart:

5 Likes

I k ow the feeling. Especially the husband part. It’s a damn disgrace!

I didn’t get anything for mother’s day either 🤷

I had this same problem same day!! Sometimes we just need to sit down and speak with our spouse rather than ask the internet

4 Likes

Awww shug jst return the favor

2 Likes

Shit, stop doing that for him if he’s no reciprocating, same with the kids. Ignore their special days too. Give exactly what you get.

4 Likes

Some really stupid comments on here🙄

3 Likes

You have to remind him…like 50 time’s before that date
.men don’t think the same…

3 Likes

You guys should have a conversation about this. Please avoid assuming that they don’t appreciate you if you haven’t had a serious conversation yet. Maybe your love language is giving and receiving gifts but its different for him. He’s a hardworker and he does it when you told him one time right? Then talk to him about it. If he gets mad, then somerhing’s wrong. Some people here are being petty judging your family for being mean but if you’re not gonna be vocal about it, you’re only gonna make yourself stuck in self pity.

8 Likes

You have every right to feel that way. I’ve been there and here is what I did to fix that. Next holiday is Father’s day don’t buy him anything. Don’t acknowledge him on that day. Treat it like just another day. Same thing for his birthday and Christmas. As long as it takes. Buy your birthday gift, mother’s day, valentine’s day anniversary and Christmas. I know he knows what holiday it is because when he goes to work the guys are eventually talking about it. When he see the same behavior he gives you on your special day he’s gonna feel some type of way. My hubby was the same way. He didn’t like it when I did it to him. Since I did that to him he’s changed. I hope it helps.

Do You, Be Special To YOURSELF

If he’s really never went out of his way to make you feel special, you are totally justified in being upset. Especially with how long y’all have been together and the kids you have together, he should care at least sometimes about doing something special for you

1 Like

No your not ,its not too much effort to show they care and make you smile .its selfish of him .id be dissapointed .Doesnt even have to cost much either just something

I’d say take the day off tomorrow and treat yourself. When he gets home dont have dinner ready but be ready and leave out and go pamper yourself!

8 Likes

Gifts are not needed, but appreciation is. Don’t buy me anything that’s fine, but do something for me, cook me breakfast in bed, clean something before I get to it, cook my favorite meal, give me a nice massage, tell me that you’ll take me anywhere I wanna go and you’ll watch the kids for me, help the kids make me something. But you deserve some kind of something, :rose: it sounds like they don’t appreciate you anymore and just kind of expect you to, I’d try to have a conversation with him and see where he is coming from with this. Let him know how you feel or what you expect from him, the example he is giving the kids by not showing you any appreciation

1 Like

You always have the right to feel something about it. But sometimes that isn’t a person’s love language.

My dad never got my mom anything for mother’s day, ever. His reason- “she’s not my mom, so why should I?”

Umm…okay dad. lol

And now today is my birthday, and once again, not even a text from my dad to say happy birthday. Meanwhile, come July/August, they’ll all make a big fuss about my brothers and my brother’s girlfriend.

I understand how you feel because we want to be appreciated however…this is where you stand up and do something for you and let everyone else fend for themselves. My kids ain’t even tell me happy mother’s day but they took my mom out for her birthday the day after! Sometimes you gotta pick and choose your battles. This is not one of them. Do you.

Your feelings matter…maybe he thinks hes doing enough…but a token of appreciation helps

1 Like

What u allow will continue! We teach people how to treat us!

6 Likes