Can you post for me, please? I just need to vent. I’m a mom of 4 boys. I have been married for almost 14 years. I’ve been feeling sad, hurt, unappreciated by my kids and husband. Well, today I didn’t receive anything for Mother’s Day. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I’m the one who looks after the kids and takes care of the house and does the cooking. My husband is a very hard worker and provides for his family, and he is gone most of the day. He is not the typical husband who goes out his way to get me a gift for any occasion. Not for anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s, Mother’s Day, Christmas. The only time he does gives me a gift is because I mention something about whatever holiday or special occasion is coming up. But if I don’t mention anything, I don’t get anything. On the other hand, I always try to buy him something for every occasion. And for Father’s Day, I always take the boys to the store and let them pick something out for him. I know a relationship isn’t based on material stuff, but I, for once, want to feel special. Am I overreacting? Or do I have the right to feel some type of way?
Your allowed to feel that way. I can understand the struggle of always going out of your way for your husband and not reciviving anything in return whether it be handmade or bought. You deserve some type of appreciation
What you allow is what will continue…
I totally understand, I live that life .
Yes you are cause I am single mother who raised 2 grown kids on a retail worker wages and every year my 2 kids say I got you next payday cause I had bills to pay. I wonder how they would had felt if I said we can’t eat this week cause mommy don’t have it.
Literally stop doing for him what he doesnt do for you… If Mother’s Day was forgotten you can forget Father’s Day also. If he questions it tell him he should treat others as he wants to be treated. That you got nothing so you assumed that he also wanted nothing.
Same, cept my dtr is 41
You marry to the wrong person & if you allow it it will continue I feel for you but some men are liked that
Well this year let fathers day slip your mind same with his birthday. And so what if hes a hard worker you work just as hard plain and simple
Your realize that by accepting this you are raising 4 sons who will think this behavior is acceptable. A family conversation needs to happen.
By yourself a Mother’s Day gift and stop taking care of them so much.
Why is it just your husband’s fault? Are your boys not Old enough to go out and get u something or make something for you? ( I prefer made cards etc from my kids) I’ve got 7 been with my partner for 11 years and only started getting gifts brought for me for the last few years cause the kids want to buy me something and sometimes I give them the money for what ever they buy. The love I get from my kids is all I need in life from them
This is my relationship as well I just got used to it … Men dont ever remember dates to.stuff I told mine the day before that Sunday was mothers day and he still forgot… Women are different and thatd just something you need to.come to terms with
I am SO SORRY. You should be made to feel valued.
How old are the kids ? They couldn’t make you a card ? Ungrateful bunch.
Tell him one of your love languages is gift receiving and it would mean the world to you if he could remember the holidays bring it up bring it to his attention tell him how important it is to you and then ask him what’s his favorite way that you show him that you love him
Don’t move for a day ! Do not cook, clean or wash dishes . Make them do the house chores so they know how difficult housework is !Take a day off and say " I am celebrating post Mother’s day " ! Go shopping for yourself. eat out and treat yourself to a day- off !
Stop going out of your way for him. Im not saying it to be mean but my husband is the same way. I stopped. He realized it one day and I said well what did you get me for my birthday and he stopped and thought about it and was like oh… when he didn’t even tell me happy mothers day last year I didn’t tell him happy fathers day… he realized I didn’t and asked me why… I said you didn’t say anything to me on mothers day…
Sometimes men are selfish and don’t realize that they are doing it. My husband at least attempts now.
For Father’s day he get to enjoy it with the boys. And you? You celebrate with spa day
Let the holidays go for him and just worry about getting your kids something and treat yourself. You deserve better.
I would reciprocate but I’ve been called bendictive before so
No I’d be pissed he very inconsiderate
I’m a mother of 4 boys also I didn’t get anything either yesterday had to make dinner myself
Book a room at a ritzy hotel, order room service and treat yourself!
Someone who is appreciated always does more than expected,stop doing everything,being a mum and wife doesnt mean u have to wreck yourself,its damn hardwork,have a family chat about how u feel,tell them all you are having a day off and do it,they will soon see how much u do when u stop!
You’re absolutely allowed to feel that way. If you have a joint bank account because you stay home, treat yourself. With respect, let him know HEY. This day, I’m going HERE, I’m doing THIS, it’ll roughly cost this much. This is mother’s day to ME. Because clearly taking care of everyone else I need to take care of ME too so thats what I’m doing. Whether it’s a spa day or a shopping trip or an overnight with a gf. Do whatever you need to for you babe. Happy mothers day. Do something for you. Let him know he’s got kids and it’s your day. Night. Afternoon. Or your week. Whatever.
You are not over reacting. Everyone needs to feel appreciated and loved. I’m sorry this happened to you and Happy Mother’s Day. Just know your a great mom and wife. Stay strong
That’s the problem you have given to much. Book a night away and have a time for yourself. I bet you feel guilty just thinking of this.
You’re a hero mom,and wife and a beautiful human.
Heroes need self appreciation too.
Be kind to yourself.
Leave them for some me time. They’ll be fine. You have been taking cared of them so of course they are bottom right. Right ?
You need to take on this mindset! Start taking care of you, self care is a Must!!
How many groups has this been posted in?! 3 groups just on my timeline has the same post.
If you don’t like what’s going on talk to him. But if you married him knowing thats how he was thats on you and its up to you change ur circumstances.
Know your worth go out and buy yourself a nice gift
He is teaching his sons that it’s ok to not recognize days that symbolize expressions of gratitude, not good parenting…
Kids suck and men too. Next time, cancel all of them and do what makes you happy. It’s your day to be celebrated. Sometimes, we have to celebrate ourselves.
Same here i never get crap from anyone, the only people to really do for me is one of my friends bc she knows my 4 boys don’t do crap for me and two of them are adults! My boyfriend yea right he don’t do crap either it sucks I know how u feel
Do the same to them !!! Go on strike for once
You have that right. You work hard too.
I am going through this same exact situation! Only I have three boys and a bf…
You have every right. After all these years he should know. You deserve something special for every holiday as well as just because.
14 years? What you allow will continue smh
Buy yourself something nice.
You’re allowed to feel anyway you wanna feel. That being said… Some men, are just like this🤷 my husband being one at times lol. Sometimes he gets me gifts on holidays. Sometimes just because, and not on holidays lol. But, my mom gets the kids things on every holiday to give to me. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t get anything most times.
Stop buying shit for your husband…i bet he’ll change his tune real quick.
This is sad you are not overreacting.
You’re NOT overreacting, I’ve been a mom for 8 years and now have 4 kids and I’m a stay at home mom as well and been with my husband for 7 years. He is the same way…never once in 7 years have I received anything for mother’s day, christmas, my birthday, v day…nothing and he always makes me feel bad for being down about it as of it’s not important…but I ALWAYS go outta my way to get the most thoughtful gifts for him. It’s not the materialistic things that hold the value…it’s the lack of effort that hurts the most. You’re not overreacting. I bought myself roses this year for mother’s day and for the first time my husband actually bought me some after seeing I bought some for myself.
So I went to Walmart and bought myself something I have always wanted. An air fryer! Walmart had them on sale for $50 for a 7 quart size air fryer so I snagged one for my gift to myself from our dogs
Gifts is only one of the love languages. If it bothers you this much, say something. But to keep track of favors and gifts and expecting anything in return on “your” days is a little overkill, IMO. Parenthood is often a thankless job.
Right before Mother’s day birthday Christmas or whatever holiday bring the conversation up to him as in,asking him what is he going to get you for Mother’s day or just tell him what you would like to have
I would rather he skip all occasions and only gift for Mother’s Day than to miss out on that extremely special day! Being a mother is absolutely the hardest job in the world, it’s a never ending job, it’s 1 million jobs in one, it’s absolutely everything no other man can handle doing all day long!! You have every right to be more than upset . And 4 kids , and none of them mention to dad that they need to get/do something ?? Sometimes it’s not the gift that matters just the acknowledgment, a handwritten card, breakfast in bed, a special dinner at home, sometimes it doesn’t have to cost a penny just needs to come from the heart and full of love …
I’d guess your husband isn’t a mind reader. If gifts is your love language it’s obviously not your husband’s love language. I’m sure he shows his love for you in other ways, sounds like by being a provider is one. I’m not sure what you are seeking here? Are you attempting to be validated in feeling upset about this? Because honey let me tell you, you’re feelings are valid. But remember he is your husband and you chose this life with these kids. So you can be petty and give tit for tat. Refuse to give him what he doesn’t give you. Or you can have a conversation with him about the real root of what appears to be your problem here. Which is not that you didn’t get a gift for mother’s day. Because as you said yourself your husband isn’t that type of man. It appears the root of the issue is that you aren’t feeling valued or appreciated. And that is something that should be happening regardless of holidays. And perhaps it’s time to remind your family of that. In a real way
All I can say is you want something for Mother’s Day then buy it yourself. Be happy you have 4 healthy boys and a husband who provides for you and you don’t have to work. Like don’t take it as a insult they didn’t get you anything. It shows you are a more considerate person to get him something for Father’s Day.
Take a mini vacation all by yourself WITHOUT guilt. Even if it’s just a couple of days with a spa day included or one of your favorite places. I struggle with this as a single mom and I am telling you, you HAVE to take time for yourself or you will become beyond burnt out. It is crappy that your husband is that way. Hopefully your boys won’t grow to be the same. Since they didn’t give you anything to say thank you…thank yourself. Women do more than most men will ever understand. My ex husband was selfish like this and still is. Hence why he is my ex
I feel your sadness, my Mother’s Day was just a typical day…
You give what you get. Start by not buying him anything and see how he feels. That may sound childish but why should he be more important than you.
Same thing i went thru took yrs they are all in theur late twenties esrly thirties and they finally started doing stuff for me!
I hate to read this. I hope your boys learn from you. Neglect is still abusive. Don’t tolerate it.
Well if that were me, I wouldn’t go out of my way for him either. Especially for father’s day. And if he says anything about it, remind him what you got for mothers day. You are kind of sett8ng yourself up, if you know he won’t do anything for you.
My husband was that way especially on mother’s Day. He would say why would I get you anything you’re not my mother.
You said it best in your hashtag “motherhood” think of it this way when they walk in do they look for Mom or dad? When they are hurt, mom or dad? Some kind of news, good or bad, mom or dad? I know it hurts us as moms but when I get that attention around dad that’s my Mother’s Day gift. To know they seek me out for anything in their life. Happy Mother’s Day! Go out there and pamper yourself you deserve it!
Maybe if they didn’t get gifts, they would see how it feels. Your husband is being very inconsiderate. I’d go and buy my own gift.
14 years of this? Nooo
You have a right to feel any kind of way. Your feelings are validated. I’m sorry sister. Go buy yourself something and enjoy
Well I think it’s time to sit him down and have a discussion…”because you matter and that’s not Right” talk with him…
You are entitled to your feelings. If you’re hurt, you’re hurt and that’s ok. You are not overreacting you’re being honest with yourself. He should care enough to know how you feel about being appreciated and he should show you in a way that makes you happy. Parenthood may be a thankless job but being a wife/girlfriend/life partner is not.
Don’t buy them anything then.
You should have mentioned mother’s day was Sunday…u said itself if I don’t mention it he doesn’t acknowledge it and they are following in their father’s footsteps…and your lack of guidance.
You’re definitely not overreacting. Married that long and hes still not considering your feelings let alone remembering the dates that are obviously important to you. It doesnt take much to show someone that they’re appreciated…and if you continue to accept that behavior its gonna continue to happen mama
He’s teaching;boy’s to become a little disrespectful towards mother’s day&birthdays. You’re better. I would;love to seeing him react. To zero;fathers day&b’day gifts.
Relate. Single mom too. Years ago my son also seemed to “forget” holidays. Finally told him he has to buy me a gift or he isn’t getting anything from me. He asked why. I said I’m “fixing” him for his future wife and girlfriend.
No you’re right in how you feel. 14 years & 4 kids is a lot to not feel appreciated
He doesn’t appreciate you… don’t do shit for him either so he can know how it feels🤷🏼♀️
I’m sorry you feel unappreciated… material things shouldn’t even become a thing, but appreciation from the ones you take care of should be a thing… and not just on mother’s day. It should be every day…
You should definitely stop being nice and take yourself out for a massage, a glass of wine… and tell them that since you were not given appreciation on your day, you are going to take care of that on your own every time you can.
You dnt have to go on strike or do tit for tat because you get nothing he won’t anymore thats just childish games thst will boil over into resentment, its all about sitting him down and explaining how it makes you feel and communicating if a relationship has no communication and you don’t talk about issues then there’s no point in being in the relationship
Communicate your love language!! Forget the people who are saying you’re over reacting for having these expectations! Your feelings are valid! And your expectations are not unrealistic. Some men think providing is enough so he may think he is fulfilling his role as a husband. This is where communication is paramount. Tell him that gifts is one of your love languages. A true partner will work to love you in YOUR love language.
Forget all birthdays, Father’s Day ect…Give them all a taste.You’re being taken for granted.
You’re not overreacting. He is emotionally lazy! Being with someone like that is so draining… Conversations need to happen with your husband and children. Don’t play the tit for tat game. Put your expectations and boundaries out there clearly, then take it from there. You deserve your happiness and your children need to see you respected. If that means single or with someone else, so be it💗
So sorry…went through the samething:pleading_face: Its just nice to be recognized on the one day for us…Happy Mothers Day a little late:black_heart:
I am also married to a very good man who doesn’t buy gifts. But at the same time my name is on everything including the bank account and he has never said a word about any of my purchases at any time and I also stay at home. I get how you feel though I sometimes feel it I I have to remind myself that’s the man I fell in love with
23 years here and nothing no gifts
Try and see how they like you not paying attention to them
Because it’s gone on for so long, he thinks it is okay and is being lazy about making an effort to acknowledge you. Go out to lunch, a movie or for a massage alone or with friends I then go get yourself a gift that you want.
I just stopped buying stuff for my partner and he very quickly realised and started lifting his game. We both work and both take care of the kids and both celebrate important days to us. He now buys gifts just like I do cause he doesnt want to miss out either lol. Its a bit tit for tat but it worked for me
No your not overreacting. Your giving way to much. Seems all you do is give. How do they show you that you are appreciated? Your definitely more considerate, but how hard is it to be considerate. Not hard a bit. Your feelings matter. Either way, gifts are a sign of consideration, appreciation, letting another human know you care, and think of them. Putting the effort into a gift, thoughtfulness. Your heart is big and you deserve the same. And ya know the gift matters too. The effort put into getting the gift, listening to what one likes. Effort into the gifting. It easy to see when someone just wings the gift. Runs out and just buys something sensless to say they bought you something. It’s terrible really. WE as humans can do better be better.
Get you a née man perioddddd,
No, you are not overreacting
Teach them that ur feeligs matter by not treating them special on "their " days. Any day - no birthdays, Christmas - NOTHING. See how long it is til they remember u.
Your not alone … im a single mother of 2 girls and the only thing I got for mother’s day was a text message … I understand the disappointment or wanting to enjoy a day to myself but I try to look at the positive bc I’ve been blessed with 2 girls and some only long to be a mother. Do something for yourself that you enjoy or buy yourself something that you’ve been wanting.
Quit getting him shit
So? Is it your birthday? how many gift holidays do you need
You are not overreacting. He needs to take the kids to get you something to make you feel special. He also needs to acknowledge your birthday and Valentine’s day. Even if it’s just a nice card and some flowers. He’s teaching your sons to take you for granted and that’s not ok.
You are perfectly right to felt some type of way. Ask him why you didn’t get anything for Mother’s day. And for Father’s day buy him socks.
I don’t get anything either, I don’t mind. My oldest son says happy mother’s Day to me. My daughter, who’s 12, doesn’t say anything. I remind her it’s mother’s Day and ask her to say happy mother’s day and she says it. And I’m happy with that. Love is all that counts.
I didn’t either nor did I get to see my kids.
Nope. The reason me and my sons dad broke up was because I was never appreciated. Every time I got paid I would buy him something he wanted or needed and in the 5 years we were together he bought me ONE present and it was when we first got together. Also I was a stay at home mom and was dealing with his 3 kids from his previous marriage and they also treated me horribly. Run! The kids will be ok. Mine is. You deserve better even if its being single. I have been for the last 2 1/2 years
I used to take my kids to the thrift store and give the oldest a little cash so they could each get me something small for my bday.Now for Mother’s day my x NEVER EVER MADE SURE I had ANYTHING.HE WOULD MAKE SURE THE STEPMOM DID THOUGH.Sooo A tradition I started was ALL I wanted was a picture of all my kids together.And if they wanted to a homemade card.
Next time get some extra cash from him and buy yourself something.
You 100% have the right to feel the way you feel. That’s messed up. If you take the kids to get him something for Father’s Day then he should do the same for Mother’s Day. I’d stop doing anything but the minimum for them honestly. That’s sad. My ex husband takes our 8 year old boys out to get me something every year and we aren’t even married. My boys enjoy it too. I’m sorry. You deserve better!!!
Get him nothing for Father’s day.
I am so sorry, every mother deserve to be remember for their day. They should of gotten you something or taken you out. I would voice this to them, my sister is going through this now with her new husband and her son. I am the one that gets her something for mother’s day cause they don’t think about it.
This needs communication between him and you. Not Facebook. Sit and talk to him with this exact tone and reasoning and see what happens
But now I always took them to get there dad something for Father’s day.Its just who I am.Simple stuff a t-shirt ECT.Nothing to break the bank.