I didn't get anything for Mother's Day - Just needing to vent

You’re not over reacting, but if you know he never gets rich anything why would you expect different on Mother’s Day? You’ve been married for 14 years and it’s been like this year after year and if you haven’t said anything you let him know him not getting you anything is okay.

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I wouldn’t buy him shit!!! Father’s day is coming, give him a taste of his own medicine. Everyone in your house is taking advantage of you!!!

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Been there and still am so each and every holiday, I purchase something I like, not what I need, and show it to my husband and kids with a “thank you note”. It’s been working for almost 40 years lol.

The kids should know to make something & remember mothers day also…next time just treat yourself

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I live like that for 30 years it wasn’t good for my boys not to learn to give to their mother or the people they love and it was very hard on me you need to talk to your husband

No you are not over reacting. I am so sorry that you have had this hurt. I understand

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Oh no! I just take money and go buy my own gifts lol! My daughter gives me something every year even if it’s just a card she made :heartpulse:…but I also treat myself EVERY holiday lol, even Father’s Day if I feel like it lol. Don’t ever wait for someone else to be kind to you (even if their unthinking a$$es should be)- do it for yourself!!! Heck, even if they start gifting you things still go treat yourself lol!!!

Quit buying him shit.

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You’re not over reacting, You deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated. You need to talk to him.

No gifts for fathers day! Show him how it feels to feel unimportant.

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Go buy your own really expensive prezzie . Show him you value you .

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My grandparents have been married for 50+ years and no matter what there situation my grandpa always gets my grandmother flowers and a card sometimes jewelry for every occasion there’s no excuse !

Women are hilarious when they get together like this. Working yourselves into an absolute frenzy after hearing one side of a story about not getting a present on mothers day

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For Father’s Day pretend it’s just another day. Don’t even tell your kids what day it is :smiling_imp:

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Pack your bags, give the kids a kiss and head to a spa for the day.

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Give them all a taste of their own medicine. It’s nice when you’re family appreciates you for being a good mother xx

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Like you said you just wanted sympathy… you made the situation what it is… Change it … Why aren’t you trying to make better men for this world??

Sounds like your husband and my husband are twins!!! Mine never buys me a gift for any of the mentioned holidays either. He does not even take me out to dinner once in a while. You are not over reacting at all. I know from experience how that makes you feel, Unloved and unappreciated.

I think you might have to throw a tantrum, just once…

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No your not over reaction it’s like I tell my adult children I don’t care if I get anything for my birthday or Christmas but you better believe I better have something for Mother’s Day to me that day is more important then any other.But like you said he has got away with it for years why did you think this year would be different but stop buying him something and take that money and buy yourself something nice

No you are not overreacting. Your sons are your sons. Stop buying gifts on Fathers Day, they have thier own family. And your husband do the same. He is the Father of your children not your father. If he mentions anything,nicely answered I made your favorite meal, I thought it would be nice to enjoy together. And from now on… Love yourself and treat yourself. There are alot of us in your shoes and changing husband will not make it better. Be happy and kind to yourself. Happy Belated Mother’s Day!

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You are not overreacting at all, however first this question, have you told him that it bothers you. I have learned over the years that some men show their love in other ways , bringing that cup of coffee to you or making sure you car is working right etc. I am not giving excuses at all, im just saying sometimes they do not know or feel it is a big deal. But again speak to him and tell him how you feel, my first husband never forgot an anniversary or birthday or anything, however we are now divorced because he ran around with anyone that he could. It took my husband awhile to realize how important certain things were to me. Also he should at least be teaching the kids to be mindful of things. I hope this helps

We teach people how to treat us by accepting their behavior. I, for one, don’t believe that you should stop buying for him out of spite- if it makes YOU happy doing it. Gifts come from love, and you do still love him. However, 14 years is a long time to go unheard or unappreciated. Don’t enable him to treat you (or, not treat you, in this case) that way. Material gifts mean nothing, but feeling undervalued in the most important relationship in your life- that’s a big deal. If he’s not a gift giver, so be it- that’s not the way love is expressed for some. But ask him to show your kids how to present their love. It’s a parent’s responsibility to do that for their kids before they end up as ungrateful as the example before them. I truly hope for the best for you, it sounds like you deserve a little something special.

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I wanted to say don’t buy him nothing! Just forget it who cares. See if he likes it. But honestly what you should do is sit down with your husband and talk to him because the only way to fix the things that bother us is to make people aware of what’s wrong. I mean it’s obvious he’s not very observant if he won’t even buy you something unless you mention it. Tell him how that makes you feel. Because if you can’t have an open communication with the person you’re sharing your life with, what’s the point?

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If their not spoiling you spoil yourself
:woman_in_steamy_room:t4::bento::package::slot_machine::lipstick::nail_care:t4::handbag::champagne:

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If this is behavior that you have allowed for 14 years, you cannot just expect the next year to be different if you don’t say anything about it the previous years. People will treat you how you allow them to treat you.

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Venting is good .
You’re a great mom

You are definitely not overreacting,you take care of him and both of your children he should be honored to get you something

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I have been married 37 years and to this day nothing from hubby

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As a single father raising my sons (not no more tho they live on their own) I never expected anything from them except for them to better themselves… parents tend to forget it was our choice to bring them into this world not theirs. Just my side view. To each their own

Count him down to important dates… it’s my birthday in 4 weeks, here’s a few suggestions for gifts etc

I didn’t get anything either! Looks like I just saved money on Father’s Day

I dont expect things from my husband or my children in gift giving. I do however expect a text or a phone call. This expected on on mother’s day. I can buy my own things. My husband is only required to take me out to dinner on my birthday and valentines day.

He must be living under a rock.
None of my kids got me anything, either. They don’t live with me and we are estranged. Even my fellow who is as noncommittal to me as humanly possible wished me a HMD!

I didn’t get anything either, not even a happy mothers day, spent the day alone as usual on holidays, birthdays and anniversaries, last year he didn’t even remember my birthday, been this guy for over 6 years, over time you get use to it but it still sad and hurts …

I felt the same way this holiday and all others

I’d just go buy my dam own n have the audacity to tell hubby I got my own mothers day covered I saved yu a job

Maybe say something to him instead of asking a bunch of strangers on fb? :woman_shrugging:

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I’m shocked, but then again not! Don’t make dinner for a week or do laundry, maybe then they will see how much you are needed & should be appreciated!

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No, your not wrong. They could have atleast made you cards or even just said Happy Mother’s Day.

Don’t wait…go out to Publix buy some filets or whatever your favorite pricey meal is… make it… go get your nails done… heck take the boys and buy something for yourself with them lol treat yourself a little

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I know the feelings so I just buy for myself during the holidays

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Buy yourself a gift and then say.
‘look what I got myself for mother’s day, thanks for the thought guys’ now that will make them feel like shit and if it doesn’t then start forgetting their birthdays and special occasions.

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Thats not nice😔
You need to tell him about your feellings…
And dont tell him to go big…

Take his credit card and go to the spa. Charge it GOOD. lol

Your not over reacting, I feel the same way, and had a pretty similar experience this mothers day​:woman_facepalming::pensive:

Meh, just tell your husband how you feel. I am sure he will be receptive.

I feel you. I have an adult son ( coming 30) he has 2 wee 1s and I’m good to them. No birthday card, no Christmas card and then no Mothers day card. A handmade 1 from the kids would have been more than enough. My daughter died in 2019 ( she was sick from Dec 2015) brain disease. Right up until she died she still sat in her wee chair and ordered gifts for all the family. She went blind for months and still attempted to write a card… I lost the plot and told my adult son how I felt. I honestly believe SOME men don’t think like us. Tell your husband how it makes you feel maybe he genuinely doesn’t get how it upsets you

Men are made up differently. You got to tell them what you want and what you expect of them. Have a simple convo with him. Sounds like a nice man with a good wife. Maybe you can hint to the children to let him know too.

May sound like a dumb question but have you tried talking to him I mean honestly telling him exactly what you need and how unappreciated you feel? Sometimes we assume our partner can read our mind. And to him this is ok because you haven’t told him it’s not ok… venting is good but vent to your family in a non attacking way and you may be surprised…good luck

If appreciation was shown every other day of the year for all your hard work Id say you’re overreacting ,but if you’re being taken for granted every day then you’re totally justified. I always felt appreciated by my daughter and I never wanted to celebrate MD because of a bad relationship with my mother but my daughter was always on it. Just remember, you teach people how to treat you, so if your family is slacking then maybe make them pick up more responsibility so they can appreciate all you do.

Single mom to 7 and nothing from mine not even a simple text

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U are the one who keeps the house under control…u have every right to feel some type of way…I hope it gets better for u…:thinking::crossed_fingers:

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I made plans I wanted and allowed kids to take me to dinner. Mini shopping spree, where I got most expensive thing, and a movie we all agreed on. Mortal Kombat. Yes I paid. But mom dates are important. Dont wait for someone to make your happiness. Take it. Set the standard…

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Seriously? Some of these comments. :roll_eyes:

You are raising your boys to be exactly like their father. They will treat their future girlfriends/wives the same way your husband treats you. If you don’t like it, then Stop the cycle of raising boys who don’t know how to treat women and other people. Are you the MOM or the nanny? If you deserve RESPECT, then set some boundaries and expectations with how things should be going down.
And before anyone jumps up my butt, I have boys and a girl. But that’s just my opinion. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I would sit down with your husband and children and explain to them how their behavior made you fell so that they can learn to correct their behavior and think of others. Mom of two in their 20’s and married for 24 years. :heart: good luck sweety, it’s hard being a mom sometimes.

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No buy yourself something and have it sent to you anonymously

You need to teach your boys to appreciate women. The husband will not change. Do you show appreciation to you mother or his. The boys will follow by example

I get stuff from kids they make at preschool or school. Doesn’t bother me as most of the time I forget too. but my partner always gives me compliments and the kids cuddles so I don’t feel I need anything more than that.

I think we also need to stop making people feel bad for wanting gifts or if their love language is gifts! Seriously there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciate in the way that feels good to you. Not everyone who likes gifts is shallow or baseless, and they could have and should have done a lot for you on Mother’s Day and really every day. You are doing amazing selfless work for your family and husband! There’s so many things they could have done that literally cost $0.00, it’s such a toxic mentality when feel like we have to apologize for the way we feel appreciated! I would be taking a lot of time off and letting your husband know that it’s not acceptable for him to disregard your feelings and the work you do!

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Your husband should be aiding in teaching appreciation for their Mother. You can put in your two cents but as we all know, it holds a different perspective coming from their Father. I’d have a kind, heart to heart with him explaining that they will treat women the way they see women be treated from their childhood and it is important to teach it now.

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Just get the credit cards and hit the spa and the stores! If they can’t figure it out you go for it! Probably much better gifts anyway :rofl:

I wouldn’t let your husband or kids get away with this. It is disrespectful. Tell your husband to show some RESPECT for you and set a good example to your kids by taking them to the store to buy you something for every occasion. Stop acknowledging him on holidays until he recognizes your importance.
If he doesn’t, then buy yourself something and charge it to him.

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For the next holiday that rolls around buy yourself what you want and make it very clear that since your husband (he should be teaching the boys this so it’s all on him) can’t be bothered to show the slightest bit of appreciation you went out and got yourself something nice.

You are not overreacting. Treat yourself and not them. Then maybe they will see where they messed up.

Your not overreacting at all. I completely understand you. My 4 boys are grown and 2 of them told me happy mothers day and 2 didn’t. I do things for all of them. That really hurts my feelings. But my husband did say a week ago, go buy you $100. worth of stuff for mothers day, because you say that you never get any thing. N its very sad and depressing :disappointed:. So he made me feel special and he’s not the father to my 4 sons.

Happy Mother’s Day! :partying_face::birthday::confetti_ball::gift::bouquet::tada:
PM me your address and I will mail you a gift! :grin::grin:

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I would communicate this to your husband, and on a side note I would stop buying g him gifts as well. You both have full time jobs. It’s still important to make time for each other and learn each other’s love language.

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Some people aren’t all caught up in society’s ‘special’ days.
Every day is mother’s/fathers day.
If he has been this way from the start of your relationship you’d know what he’s like.

Our children learn from the people they love. You don’t have to spend money to show love and appreciation. Wash the dishes, make a card, tell them how much you love them give them a hug make breakfast, wash their car …

You’ve been married to him for 14 years. Have a conversation! Tell him that sometimes you feel down and would like him to help you remember you’re a badass mom and wife. Tell him the better you can feel about yourself the better you feel you do as a wife and mom. Let him know your feelings and give him easy options like a hug or a chocolate bar on his way home from work mean the world to you right now.

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I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I know how hurtful and confusing it is when your partner does this. I have experienced this too (from 2 different partners). Treat yourself to the things you want, take yourself out for a nice meal alone, with a friend or with the kids and go and do something nice for yourself. You aren’t responsible for the way others treat you but you can still get your needs met by doing things for yourself. Hugs :hugs:

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Yes y ou do he knows when the holiday s are coming so this father’s day get him the same thing you got for mothers day

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My kids made a fuss of me for Mother’s Day. Cards and pressies. My husband says i’m not his Mother so he doesnt need to. I quickly pointed out to him that i am the Mother of his children though. Point taken lol. :wink:cheeky Git

tell them (him) what you want! In advance all the bells and whistles specifics! What Resturant, what gift, or what ever it I you want! Sounds like in the past he has risen to the occasion. If they don’t then shit hits the fan!! Sounds like them making these plans/decisions is not their strength! Help them celebrate you!! :heart:

Stop buying them things it will change when you forget their bd

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Same here with my " husband" and i use the word loosely.

Your kids need to know how upset you were that they didn’t even acknowledge you on Mothers Day it is so disrespectfful and hurtful. I am sure that they will feel terrible and will make more of an effort in the future. They wouldn’t be pleased if you forgot their birthdays or to do their washing feeding and ironing for them. They need a wake up call sooner rather than later.

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Not over reacting, it goes both ways. From here on in, I would just buy myself something. And make a point of letting everyone know you bought it from them, because it’s what you wanted.

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U teach people how to treat u. By not expressing that these things are important to u, u taught him that its ok to overlook u this way.

This here in lies the problem. As if you allow someone to half ass their way in a relationship. It happens. Too often. I would be feeling unappreciated too.

My marriage was great at first but then it turned out just like yours !!! I tried everything I could for. 10 more years but the passion,butterflies,hand holding gone all the little things I loved. Instead I felt ugly,alone,less than,ect…I finally got a divorce first 6 months were a bittersweet but I started going to see my friends and the past 2 yrs. I haven’t felt more happy and enjoy my life .:sunflower::sunflower:

Same thing here. I just gave up on thinking I’ll get something because it hurts more thinking I’ll get something then end up being disappointed. I did get pjs for mothers day this year but didn’t the last two mothers day. (This was my third mother’s day)

My boys are terrible about getting me gifts,i try not to let it bother me,they do text me and tell me they love me,so thats ok with me

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Dont get him anything for Father’s day see if he notices. And if you do get him something just keep it hidden until he notices. You have every right to be upset! If your kids are old enough to know its Mother’s Day they should remind your husband or at least make you a card or breakfast. Just do something special. They would not be happy if you forgot or didn’t do something for them.

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Stop buying them gifts-period! See how they like it.

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I used to cry because my husband never bought me gifts for any occasion, then he would go buy me something. Now, I just accept that it’s just how he was raised and I don’t let it bother me anymore. If I want something I go buy it for myself.

Give what you receive. Nothing. And maybe you need to step back a little and stop doing so much for them all.

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Those MF’s didn’t get you not even a flower for Mother’s Day!!! Smh
Make them do their own laundry, cook for themselves, etc… that’ll make them appreciate you.
Well for what it’s worth, Happy Mother’s Day :heartpulse:

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Train your boys how to treat their wives by telling your husband to cowboy up and be the example. His mother did not train him to shower his wife with gifts of love. He needs to do better.

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I would strike…unless the boys are babies, let them and hubby do for themselves as best they can…sometimes people don’t appreciate what you do until you stop

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I think you should hand write your husband a letter. With writing, err on the kind and gentle side. But say how you are hurt by him and the boys. They could have done something simple and no cost. Something.
He is the example. It’s on him that the boys weren’t told they need to do it. This could play out in their marriages, for other moms in their lives, their own children.
Keep it simple and not too long. Not more than a page. In handwriting.

Not overreacting at all, I know this feeling …:blue_heart:

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Let them all know how it made you feel. I would’ve been devastated. get stuck into them all, give them shit n sugar for tea. That’s just horrible treatment

I don’t think you’re overreacting. I would not get them anything on special occasions and see how they feel or if they say something. I don’t have a husband or significant other but my two daughters did you get me a small bouquet of flowers and took me out to dinner just to the Chinese buffet but that was fine with me

Here is my take on the situation, and I’ve been there myself too many times, so I understand your hurt.
Going out and buying yourself something will NOT fix how you feel, because it isn’t the monetary ‘gift or present’ you’re needing. It’s the recognition and the validation for all your efforts. It is a gesture, be it breakfast in bed, your favorite meal cooked, a special card and gift, whatever … that you’re seeking. Something he thinks of himself because he too recognizes all your contributions to the family unit, like you do his. You are needing him to acknowledge what you bring to the table day after day for the family, and that’s not too much to ask for.
Furthermore, I think he should be setting an example for his children as to how it’s important that we recognize each other, not just our spouses but everyone’s efforts, and how we should celebrate them in a special way on their special day.
You need to have a frank and open discussion and explain to him that it’s not the expensive present you want, but his presence and acknowledgement, and what it would mean to you.

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He is teaching the boys how to treat a woman…let them know how you feel :heavy_heart_exclamation:

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I completely understand… I got nothing either but a text message. The more you do for others the less they appreciate you…it’s one day… people need to put more effort into it. It’s not that hard.

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If your husband is a hard worker and it sounds like he works many hours
He is probably to tired to go shopping for gifts! But your children should have at least gotten you a card

I feel you but I remember something I read before”for you not to get hurt is you need to stop expecting” it is not easy but we have nothing to do why they are effortless or maybe they are caught of something else like work or stress. I also think not to put effort on any occasion for him but thats not me. I will just give but stop expecting.