Can you post for me, please? I just need to vent. I’m a mom of 4 boys. I have been married for almost 14 years. I’ve been feeling sad, hurt, unappreciated by my kids and husband. Well, today I didn’t receive anything for Mother’s Day. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I’m the one who looks after the kids and takes care of the house and does the cooking. My husband is a very hard worker and provides for his family, and he is gone most of the day. He is not the typical husband who goes out his way to get me a gift for any occasion. Not for anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s, Mother’s Day, Christmas. The only time he does gives me a gift is because I mention something about whatever holiday or special occasion is coming up. But if I don’t mention anything, I don’t get anything. On the other hand, I always try to buy him something for every occasion. And for Father’s Day, I always take the boys to the store and let them pick something out for him. I know a relationship isn’t based on material stuff, but I, for once, want to feel special. Am I overreacting? Or do I have the right to feel some type of way?
Don’t get him anything for fathers day.
You are not overreacting & sometimes you gotta treat people the way they treat you for them to notice their actions. HINT Hint
Your feelings are valid! There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved and appreciated by your family.
Dont acknowledge holidays for him either. If the kids are older like teenage that they could arrange to get something on their own or remind him.
You are not over reacting I feel moms are the most unappreciated ppl when they should be held up a bit higher.
Treat yourself. Something lavish. Then ignore him for the holidays. How old are the kids? Maybe teach them a lesson too. You have every right to feel that way
You’re allowed to be hurt. Bless your heart.
Buy yourself something really expensive! He will get the hint
Start getting stuff for yourself for the occasion.
Tell them teach those boys to be considerate to their future wives.
Communicate with your husband !! Your feelings are definitely valid !! Men don’t always have the most common sense lol or that it’s not about material things! He should def be teaching your boys to appreciate you!!
I’d be upset and hurt. I’m sorry…
My ex-husband was exactly like this. He could careless.
Yes!! This is also my life!!
Do a spa day on Father’s Day…
Your feelings are valid. I’m in the same boat! My husband is the exact same way. I didn’t get anything for Mother’s Day nor did my husband tell me happy Mother’s Day.
Communicate your feelings to your partner, stop dropping hints or being passive aggressive. People can’t read your mind. If it’s important to you to receive gifts you need to specifically come out and tell your partner that. If they continue to ignore what you tell them it means they lack the respect to give you what you need from them.
I would just express to him you’d like a little gift for special occasions because it makes you feel appreciated. Maybe he doesn’t know it bothers you. Men show their love in different ways, so maybe he just needs a nudge! Lol Happy Mother’s Day to you!
You have every right to feel this way… treat yourself I know it’s not the same but self love and care is better then none x x x
No youre not overreacting. Hes a jerk for not acknowledging you on mother’s day. Theres no excuse.
Welcome to my world. 17 years in… 2 years out… nothings changed…
Your feelings are valid.
I hope u teach your boys to buy for you so they can eventually buy for their wife.
I feel you My husband is the same way except he doesn’t go out of his way even when I do mention it.
Wow that is so sad messed up .
I feel the exact same way. Its like i wrote myself.
Next Mother’s Day give him notice that you’ll be taking the entire day off. Your husband needs to make child care arrangements as well as prepared dinner and take care of the house. Schedule yourself a spa day and don’t be available. Us mom’s deserve a day to be celebrated as staying at home is a lot tougher than going into the office.
Communicate with your husband how you feel and the importance of doing stuff for each other everyday and not just on special occasions. That way he will be setting a perfect example to your sons on how to treat their future wives
We have been married for 31 years and l get my husband cards to Valentines day and anniversary and sometimes his birthday. He almost never gets me a card. He gets upset that l always get him one. I really don’t care if l get one or not. If l want something l get it. Don’t need a holiday to get what I want.
Definitely not over reacting. Have you communicated it to him though? Tell him you’d like a cooked meal or a small gift to show your appreciated?
I thought I was the only one sometimes im sorry girl sometimes u just have to stop cleaning that mess up stopmaking that dinner of there’s food in there and they can make a sandwich then let them I’ve gone on strike because I felt the same way hopefully it will get better
I have been known to get myself gifts and then thank them later for it.
Your not over reacting it’s the same for me every holiday including mother’s day and my birthday (may 16th) it’s always what be wants to eat or do or want. Never what I want I just learned to deal with it.
Same here😔 im a step mom and have been with his dad 8 years… they both forgot.
Your husband should be setting the example of appreciateness , gratitude.
I did not get anytbinf and its not that deep men tend to forget that kind of stuff and not think. I just buy myself something as hard as he works and 6 days a week i think the guys deserve some slack 2. Especially if he’s good to you all year round
You have every right to feel how you feel
Don’t get him anything for Father’s day
Take the boys and buy what you like and have the boys to say this is mom Mother’s Day gift do the same for other special occassions.
I sometimes struggle with my husband not picking up on things, especially when I am feeling underappreciated. Definitely not to your level, but it is hurtful. In your situation I would definitely sit down with him privately and express your feelings. I’d follow with what it is you would like to do, maybe spend a day away from the house being pampered and a good dinner w/o the kiddos and recharge yourself. With father’s days coming I would maybe just knock it down a notch. Because you still appreciate him and it’s hard to lead by example if you do nothing. And he may not care one bit that you got him nothing.
Express your feelings though! Don’t hold onto it. You have to fill your cup in order to be filling others! Think of you as the top glass of a champagne glass tower! As you overfill the rest fill up
I get told I’m not his mother so why should he do anything for me, (not that I’ve asked him to or hinted or anything, and this was my first Mother’s Day with HIS child) I’ve asked two years in a row if he messaged his daughters to wish them a happy Mother’s Day and he said they aren’t his mom, he seems to think it’s only for celebrating your own mother, and not all?
After that long together if you can’t do what you know needs to be done to get what you need that’s on you as a grown woman. You say he doesn’t do it for any occasions UNLESS you mention it…for YEARS. Mention it ffs instead of whining about it afterwards online… it’s not going to change, it’s who he is. You can’t throw the fact that you do it for him in there as ammo…that’s who you are. Are you going to change how you’ve always done something to accommodate someone that isn’t grown enough to verbalize what they needs from you? Instead went online to tell everyone else BUT you?
That would bother me. I’m sorry
Dont need material things. I had the whole day just to myself which I loved.
Girl I am going on 25 years and my husband never gives me gifts ,so he says I give you the money go buy whatever you want,so yeah that will never change its really not that bad go buy your own stuff.
If isn’t even get to see my husband on Mother’s Day because no one wants to work so he had to pull a double. Gifts are overrated, just enjoy ur time together??
I never do and I don’t expect to I’m not selfish
U have every right to be passed off
I wouldn’t let it bother you too much, because one, we shouldn’t rely on other people to bring us our own happiness, two, without clear communication we shouldn’t expect anything, and three, don’t set expectations. If you want flowers, get them girl, if you want that pretty piece of jewelry you’ve been eyeing, GET IT. I know motherhood can be very rough sometimes, but try to look at all the ways you are loved and appreciated and treat yourself.
Different people have different needs
Same here i go out of my way to do for everyone and im Always the forgotten one. Im thinking im rrady to quit doing for everyone else. Only person I can depend on is me.
You are a mother you should have got something happy mother’s day flowers dinner something
Feelings are totally valid. Maybe stop getting him gifts for special occasions and let him realize his mistake !
Nope, you aren’t overreacting. Don’t do anything for father’s day and if he questions it tell him you didn’t think you were celebrating since he didn’t for mothers day.
well than, make your self special, Buy yourself something nice Oh & if you told him this??? And the kids could also be told
If it bothers you, you need to communicate that to him. Communication is everything!
Guys are very very literal… you have to speak and tell them even after years of being together. For my husband, i go on his phone to the calendar and mark every occasion he needs to remember. Ie… buy gift for wife for birthday
Every one is different. I don’t think it’s the material things it’s them just acknowledging you on Mother’s Day. A simple breakfast or dinner or make cards or just saying happy Mother’s Day we love you. When Father’s Day comes
Please don’t get anything. Please please don’t. He don’t do it for you so why do it for him
I don’t think the point of this post was to focus on the lack of material items being given. I think it’s an overall expression of her feeling underappreciated. The material items are a physical representation of the emotion she is feeling. Being a mom is hard. Being a wife is hard. Being a stay at home mom and wife is hard. Feeling underappreciated only makes everyday that much harder. Stay strong you deserve to feel valued. If you’re not getting it from them then love yourself even more and lift yourself up to a better emotional level.
I agree with some others. Go and buy yourself a gift, put it on the bench around tea time and say to them all, boys l bought this as my Mother’s Day gift to myself from you all… I treat you all well and always think of you all and sometimes a little thoughtfulness goes along way. Its not about the money, a home made card would of been great, its the acknowledgement… Goodluck your children will be adults and parents one day, set your standards now.
You already know… He’s a bum… He doesn’t live under a rock…
Teach your sons how to treat a woman special and break the cycle.
Do y’all know what love language is??? We always try to do things that we’d like for others to do for us but what if that person isn’t the same way?? For me I feel really appreciated when my bf does things for me around the house. And I know that he likes getting gifts and to spend quality time together even if we don’t converse much
I hear what you’re saying … but if this is his norm?! Why would you expect anything ? As you said " if you don’t mention it". Imo if you know this communicat what you want.
I think you need to stop expecting materialistic items and be thankful for other things. I get you want to be recognized as a mother, but don’t abide by a date
I felt every word of this. And I for one am sick of my neglect. I’m to the point that I’m thinking of leaving. I know it sounds petty to some, but it’s indicative of MUCH bigger issues in the long run.
I used to buy myself a present for all occasions that way I get what I want lol
Sounds like you guys have two different love languages… there’s a lot that could be said but I’ll leave it at that. Materialistic things don’t matter to some people. Once you figure out each other’s love language, everything else will be better.
You deserve to feel appreciated.
I’m a single mom and it’s far from easy! Your blessed to have a full family
My husband didn’t buy me a gift either but he did make me dinner and got me some of my favorite desserts and soda
Girl… you should go and get a facial… massage … pedicure and a Deluxe manicure… if he says something you just tell him Tats my mother’s Day presents That u n the boys forgot to give me:pensive:…Chin up and Good luck.⚘
Omg I thought I was the only one like this!!
U have every right to feel this way and believe me just like u 1000s of women feel like this. Men are different than women nd u cant blame them men are born like this so just tell ur husband wat u expect him to do fr u tell him how u feel… believe me most men r dumb so u have to tell dem how u feel nd ask him to appreciate u theres nothing wrong in dat. IF YOU REALLY WANNA UNDERSTAND MEN READ THE BOOK MEN ARE FROM MARS WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS its relatable. P.S pls dont fight wid me saying all men r like dat, maybe not all men but many r lyk dat…
You 100% have a right to feel like this. Even a handmade card to recognize you and show they appreciate you. I’m sad for you. That would hurt my heart.
Glad I’m not the only one that has this situation… and no, it’s not about the materialistic things, but the idea. Especially, when you try and make sure he is acknowledged during those times. It definitely makes you feel a type of way.
Totally, insensitive! We dont always need gifts, we do need recognition. He is doing your son’s a disservice!!! This is no way to show respect to our Mom’s and women in general. Speak up, you deserve better
You are right. I would be hurt too. I would say something to him. You can do it in a nice way. You deserve something, you have the hardest job in the world, staying home an raising your children!! Happy Mother’s Day to you!!
Of all the things in a relationship to be upset about?? I get you want to be acknowledged for special occasions. But you said it yourself “the only time he does give you a gift is if you mention.” I’m pretty sure this has been the norm since yall have been together almosy 14 years. He isn’t going to one day wake up and start doing all this on his own. You will need to remind him if you want anything done.
Now you know what he gets for fathers day!
Love not enough after 14 years no ?
You have the right and stop buying him things
Your love language is gifts maybe your husband’s is different. Have you talked to him about it?
That is awful! Your husband should be ashamed of himself for not at least making sure the kids did something for you. I’ll send you a mother’s day gift! I know this is anonymous but if you send me your address I’ll send you something special. You deserve it. I’d have a talk with your husband. That’s not right.
Sounds like you just need to remind him and tell him what you expect for the holidays.
Or just treat yourself. Find your own happiness
You could also teach your son’s the importance of showing the ones they love appreciation and ideas on how to do so.
Its like listening to myself its a awful feeling x
I am right there with you. Mine is the same way. And he claims he doesn’t get why I’m so upset. Hugs momma.
I would definitely say something. Your boys will think this is normal and treat their future spouse the same way. Say so.ething for all the future generations to come.
Oldest (23yrs old) nothing- but came by
Second (21 yrs old)a text not even phone call
Third- (20) 6 fake roses, balloon and card
Fourth-(18) - text
Sixth-(8) drew me a pic. And made a card
Hubby- LV purse he knew I wanted and told me to order it, and
I ordered myself a bracelet. Oh, and he took the day off and got me a bottle of dom, gave me a break from my little ones for like 4-5 hrs. Then sat with me in the bath and shaved my legs. Then we watched some tv and ordered food
My husband is the same way. Been married 13 years.
Do not get him anything for Father’s Day his birthday valentines or Christmas or anniversary if he doesn’t do it for him why do it for him honestly? Try talking to him about it first then go from there and if it doesn’t then do what I mentioned and just watch he may throw a little temper tantrum cause he thinks he deserves that stuff
It sucks but at the end of the day our husband’s do provide us with house, food, and more. I never get anything either, even when I do mention it I never receive anything, but I have a home, and get to be a stay at home parent. I guess I’m just use to it.
My husband always sais you are not my Mother
I am so sorry that your husband chooses not to acknowledge you on special occasions. That is inexcusable. The boys have learned to acknowledge him, through your encouragement. They have learned, through his inaction, not to bother honoring you on your special days. You do not live in a bubble. There are examples of Mother’s day gifts everywhere you look, leading up to Mother’s Day. We really do teach people how to treat us. For your next special occasion, I would suggest that you plan an outing, or event, and announce that this is a celebration of you. These people need to hear that it is important to you that your special days are noted. Suffering in silence, is not going to change their thoughtlessness. Shame on every one of them. Especially your insensitive husband. He should be ashamed of himself.
You deserved something special on Mother’s day! You have every right to be upset! I hope your husband realizes this at some point! Maybe just treat yourself to a spa day or massage.
After almost 60 years we still had to remind my Grandpa of Grandma’s Birthday and their Anniversary. But after we reminded him he would go get her something said that is what he “needed us for”
He always handled Christmas with a crisp $100 bill
Buy your own that’s what do because my husband of 14 yrs has never been good at buying me gifts either
I picked out and ordered my mother’s day gift and then had my boyfriend pay me back for it
I’ve been a widow for 25 yrs… Single mom. I never made a big deal about it as my children were little. Now they’re grown and they are the same… It’s not a big deal.
Eff that. Speak up! Tell him your feelings are hurt. Don’t get him for next event see how he feels about it.