I was married to my ex husband for 17 years and this was my life😔 after we split I found a man who truly appreciates me and loves showing me, and all we truly want is someone to do something special for you…doesn’t have to be about a “gift” at all!! But the thing that bothers me now is my older boys are grown and think nothing of blowing off the holidays…no card for Mother’s Day or my birthday from them and that hurts worse than when their dad didn’t do anything. I believe it’s from seeing our relationship be that way growing up, they don’t feel the need to show me how important I am in their lives because they’ve never seen that from their dad. Be sure that your kids know it’s important to show someone how much you love and appreciate them!!
Yeah same here if I don’t say anything I won’t get anything on any occasion. I always say I don’t want my husband to spend the money but sometimes it feels good to be appreciated. At times it makes you feel like shit when they don’t even put any effort or thought. It drives me nuts with my husband. Sometimes we are taken for granted and it sucks
Same here 20 years 4 kids and never get anything on any holiday, birthday Christmas nothing never.
So the last few years he has got nothing from me either.
If you know he isn’t that way inclined perhaps look at the way he shows love my hubby doesn’t buy gifts on these days either but that’s just him my dads the same .
The way I see it you have carte Blanche to buy you whatever you want, show him and say thank you for the beautiful car, necklace, ring, outfit, get my drift!!!
Same here with 3 boys and 10 years in…
Omg this is me!! Literally the same thing, not that i expected a gift but an acknowledgement of mothers day even a homemade card from my boys would have been enough. I felt hurt too:heart:
Your husband sounds like a good guy, tell him exactly what your needs are, don’t make him guess. Tell your children exactly what you expect for Mother’s Day. And then let them come up with ideas to make it happen. Men are not mind readers
Don’t buy him stuff for Father’s Day 
Some people just don’t get how important it is to their significant others. My husband and I both don’t do anything other than say happy ____ and usually dinner of some sort. We were foster parents and 4 of my boys, all now adults, wished me happy mothers day.
You can choose to do a few things. Buy yourself what you want and realize hubby just isn’t going to do it on his own. Remind him every holiday. If your kids are old enough, explain to them what you expect for holidays that they can do on their own. Or be miserable about hubby not being one of those guys.
My son insists on getting me something for every holiday. He gets upset when I don’t get anything. He is 5 years old. I was at the supermarket and was getting plants for other moms and grab one for myself. (Good thing because as soon as I got home my husband said oh I forgot to pick something up) as usual mom saves the day. If you want something get it yourself. Yes. The thought would be nice but to be honest when do men really think…
Don’t acknowledge fathers day maybe he will see.
Your kids are old enough to think of you also. I would say something unless you want them to grow up and be thoughtless also! Every person wants to feel appreciated.
Feel better… Get yourself something!
I been married 39 years ididnt get anything from husband it hurts
I’m with ya darlin got nothing for Christmas nothing for Valentine’s day and nothing for Mother’s day.
I was however told I didn’t deserve anything for those holidays…
I always make sure my S/O gets nice gifts for all occasions.
I mean you have a right to feel how you do but why get mad or why except something if for 14 years it’s been the same
Explain this and expose this to your husband just like you explained it here if he doesn’t do anything after that then he obviously doesn’t appreciate you or care about you enough to respect how you feel and change the situation for the better.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I completely understand! I just spent the last 3 hours after work cleaning our entire house including the dishes from the dinner I had to cook on Mother’s Day that only one of my three kids ate because the other two took off and spent the day with their friends and their moms. It stings. I’m sorry.
Same here, except I have a daughter and she has the instinct to buy for special occasions. A couple of years ago I started doing a thankful jar. I put notes of thing my husband does for me or if I go on girls trip. I read the jar through out the year and remember all the special things that he has done. I find at least one thing each day. Even if it that he did not complain about something I did that he might have a good reason to complain. Just about he saw me hit my head and came quickly to see if I was ok. Then got me ice for my head and a drink and snack. Then he finished unloading the groceries and put them all away. I put that into the jar.
I literally just went through this as well, Told him how I felt that night when kids went to bed, it’s not about the materialistic stuff it’s the fact that, that day is a happy day to us moms and the most important time to feel appreciated, and it’s like a slap in the face especially when I go above and beyond to make every holiday for him to feel special. His reasoning is before he met me holidays meant nothing to him bc his family didn’t celebrate him in anyway, but I told him we been together 10 years and I’ll spend my last dollar to make you feel special even if it’s a damn piece of your favorite candy, anything to see him smile and feel appreciated. told him the only two I care anything about is my Mother’s Day and birthday, it bothered me the most because my son was heartbroken we didn’t do anything to “celebrate” me. Hugs to you mama! Speak your mind about it and if he continues to act an ass don’t buy him things anymore instead spend it on yourself 
You women married these “men” knowing they were like this and are surprised by their actions 10-15-20 yrs later. Fck outta here. You allow it, so it’s never going to change.
Same here!!! But he has always told me if I want something get it but a surprise every once in a while wouldn’t hurt
Thoughtless & selfish…
Stop cooking dinner & see how much attention you get then
It’s not wrong to want to feel appreciated. You said he’s not the type of person to give material gifts, so I think you should definitely inform him of how you feel, and explain exactly how you did in the post. He may not realize you feel unappreciated until you tell him, no one is a mind reader😆
If my husband ever did that to me he’d better make sure he’s ready to be completely self sufficient cuz this mama would be on strike. Cook your own dinner. Wash your own clothes. Kids are acting a mess? Oh, you better hurry up and handle it. I would not do shit!!
I’m so sorry 
that’s so sad. Even a nice hot cup of coffee with a hug is something …: not even that ? Ah no tell your husband how much it hurts. Sometimes men are so clueless, and don’t even know selfish they are. For reals.
Me either happens every year he did make me dinner
Aww hugs. Spoil yourself! It’s in a guys DNA not to remember stuff jk but seriously, find a babysitter and do something you will like. I don’t expect anything on any day and if they remember awesome! If they don’t then oh well. PS holidays are designed to make people spend money
The “he forgot” excuse is crap. It’s EVERYWHERE for at least a month leading up to Mother’s Day (billboards, tv/radio ads, newspapers, magazines, etc.). Unless he lives under a rock, he’s had plenty of reminders. It’s far more likely that he doesn’t want to put the effort into picking out a gift (or has no idea how to do so). Start a wish list, post it in an easy-to-find place and TELL HIM how you feel. Indicate that you’ve made a list to help him up his gifting game.
Just buy yourself something…my ex had crappy taste as well as selfish so I’d treat myself…no regrets…
Be very explicit with your expectations from now on. Write up a Mother’s Day manifesto if you have do.
Make. It. Simple. For. Them. To. Follow.
For example: “Make/order mom breakfast, get flowers, get gift worth at least $X.00, etc, etc, etc.”
-OR-
just book yourself a hotel room, order room service, get a massage, and put your phone on mute all day.
I don’t get anything either it’s not something we really care about because there were times we couldnt get stuff for each other so it’s stayed the same…but If I want something I can usually get it so idk lol
Idk which is worse not getting anything at all or getting the sum shit I get at every holiday… My man got me a beauty and the beast rose that lights up 
I’ve literally came out and told him I don’t like shit like that, he orders these dumb gifts off Facebook, I even said heyyy I’d love a pedicure, or a tanning pass or a massage for such and such holiday… Nope he buys gifts I have to try to find a place for that I don’t even like.
I can empathize. My two grown children sent happy Mother’s Day texts. That’s it. You are the hub of your family and should be appreciated. It sounds like your husband has set the bar for your sons. Sorry for their inconsiderate attitudes. You are worthy of appreciation!!!
Stop doing things for him if it’s not big reciprocated… that’s very unfortunate and you should have somebody that will get you a gift. Things don’t need to be materialistic always, to me the best gifts are handmade with thought into them.
Sounds like you may have one of those husbands who just don’t do gifts well, that doesn’t mean it’s ok just that you need to be more specific and direct ! My husband always buys me gifts and does nice things BUT he forgets that our children want to be involved with that process as well so I just give him quick reminders like hey don’t forget to take the kids out he will say I already got something (usually stupid expensive because that is how he gifts) and I’ll say awe your sweet now take the kids out to get something also let them pick out something cheap that they want 
to gift
I didn’t get anything last year and was pissed! Nothing this year either. However, I did get expensive diamond earrings for Xmas…so I’m good. You have every right to be upset. It’s nice to feel appreciated and Mother’s Day is your day!
Have you communicated this with him? Sat down, looked him in the eyes and told him what you need? I can not expect others… Even my significant other to know what I need to feel loved and appreciated.
I have to tell my husband very specifically that any holiday is coming up and I expect something small even just a card or there will be hell to pay! Lol
Same thing happened to me…i do so much for my kids & grands & it hurts…i don’t have any answers
Pm me your local Walmart pick up location or cashapp, let me get you something for mother’s day momma!
Return the favor. Since it is your husband’s fault, ignore fathers day, his birthday, etc for him. Don’t take your kids to buy for him either!
I wouldn’t get him anything for father’s day or any other holiday that he doesn’t get you anything for. Let him feel the burn 
. If the kids want to get him something…have them make him a card. It’s more than he did for you. Turn around is fair play. It’s not fun being left out. And it hurts your feelings. If he says anything just tell him you decided to treat him the same way he treats you. He can’t argue with that. Then I’d make some new ground rules. Hey a card would be nice !!! It’s not the $, it just knowing your appreciated. I’m sorry you had to go thru that. Men can be block heads at times. 
Sounds like you’re just going to have to spoil yourself…my child didn’t get me anything for my birthday OR Mother’s Day. Not even a card…it sucks… it hurts and feeling unappreciated but sometimes you may just have to do things for yourself.
I buy my own presents.
You doing something for him shows character. I wouldn’t change that. Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed 
. .
Guy’s dont think like us. After 34 yrs of marriage I just buy what I want and tell him look what you bought me for my birthday or whatever occasion has come up, and I must say I havent been disappointed with my gifts in along time…
Stop buying him stuff, It dosent hurt any less but I figured if he isnt going to return the favor then why should I try
Stop doing everything and when they run out of underwear and there’s no dinner, toothpaste, or clean laundry, they’ll see all you do.
Same to me. I didn’t felt the day.
You are not overreacting.
No, you certainly are not overreacting! I can’t even begin to understand that sort of behavior. And yes, it does hurt. You are not alone.
Read the 5 love languages book together. He likely just doesn’t really know how important it feels to you.
No phone calls from either of my boys for any holiday so I wish them happy what ever on Facebook lol
You two have different ways of feeling and giving love which is common and okay, but does require you to be clear and honest about your expectations with yourself and with him. Your feelings are valid but it’s also your responsibility to determine how to make it better and set you both up for success in this area.
I’d be hurt too- feeling unappreciated is an awful feeling especially when it comes from your husband and children. ((Hugs))
Buy something for you!!! At least you know you will like it!
I gave up I just don’t buy him anything now and buy my self something I know how you feel, let him know what it’s like because he just expects that he’s getting something let the shock hit him
Start making a list a few weeks before like they do for birthdays and Christmas. Then they’ll realize they should do something or make something or get something. If you don’t tell them they probably don’t know, but I’m sure they’d feel bad if they knew you were disappointed they didn’t celebrate you. Your list could be coupons for doing things around the house, making homemade cards, making a simple meal or something. Then they might ask your husband to help them.
I’d be mighty pissed but I’m with u
my kids and him give me what they make from school and eventually a card with. but only thing do to me half the time is make it miserable.i love my kids yes do something with the for couple hrs. but all i want is a me day that day i know sounds mean but im with 24/7 im home with and i work at there school and get from school. hes with the kids just a couple hrs.
Don’t buy him anything for father’s day,tell your boys if they want him to have anything they will have to make it or have somebody else take them to the store and they will have to use their own money to buy him something.
We don’t do much for each other. More of a if you want it but it type. But I do think flowers or something would of been nice. I’m sorry
No. U are not over reacting. Nothing for Father’s Day
My husband is the same, but I don’t mind. I prefer no gifts. I feel they are a waste of money. I feel like, knowing your husband is that way. You could change things around by saying to your kids. Hey today is my day, help me do this or let’s make this special treat together. I’m a stay at home mom of 6 boys. It is work but the attitude change helps the day. Also when they are all grown up they come by on Mother’s Day which makes your whole day. The visit with all of them is much better than any gift. You are special and I am sure he knows it and appreciates you. He just doesn’t show it the same way you do. It isn’t his love language
My husband is the same way
My partner is a disabled veteran. It can be challenging for him to remember all the details needed for a holiday.
These things helped me: keep an ongoing list of things you want purchased and current interests (bonus if you include photos and where to purchase item)
Have visuals of upcoming holidays and discuss ahead of time what traditions matter to you most
Tell him to order a cake/do a reservation a week before event
Be flexible on the date. We do a Mother’s Day week instead of one day. This allows for opportunities to do special requests, and do traditions one by one
Be very direct about what exactly you want (time alone? Massage? A note of appreciation? Crafts made by kids? Etc)
If he still forgets, tell him he can make up for it that weekend and encourage him to try again (if he misses this too, then it may be more of a behavior and less of him needing to learn how to do it)
Then encourage more independence with each upcoming holiday so you don’t have to take care of all the emotional labor. Then it can easily become part of a routine. Not the most spontaneous right away, but that can develop.
But definitely bring it up. Otherwise the resentment will eat you alive.
When father day comes ignore it no gifts bake no cake let him see how it feels
Tell him how you feel and treat yourself.
FATHER’S DAY IS NEXT!!! Don’t get ONE THING and let him see how it feels
Not for any occasion?? Wow. No, you’re not overreacting. You absolutely have the right to feel the way you do. We all want to feel appreciated and be acknowledged. A card and/or a gift is one way to show someone you love and care about them.
Same here, I used to remind everyone, then I would buy for myself from them.
After a while it becomes a hollow sentiment.
I really used to love the hand made cards but I even had to ask for them and it made me feel desperate and pathetic, was easier to not bother.
You should treat yourself every once in a while and let them fend for themselves, maybe then they’ll get it.
Dont get him anything on Father’s Day and see what he says, simple. What goes around comes around. Whats fair for the goose, is fine for the gander
Nope I got 4 grown kids only won gave me something not even a text but this is for all occasions as well it was my anniversary Monday only a 6.25 chocolates I was shattered as well
Dont get him anything and see how he likes it. and go in his phone and write in the calendar on holidays and stuff to Buy you a gift so he gets alerts:joy:
I’m so sorry. My ex husband was the same.I"m so glad I left.
I get it. My love language is gift giving. I love to go all out for people I care about. And little surprises here and there make me feel loved and appreciated. Doesn’t mean I’m materialistic just thats how i like to love and be loved.
Go by yourself something you really like and want.At lunch when you all set down show it to them and Say thank you for the gift I love it.One year I bought a new truck and asked my husband if he liked my Birthday gift.He smiled and said nothing.
My husband took me out for breakfast. My oldest took me to Starbucks and subway for lunch and one of my twins bought me a needed keyboard. My husband asked me what I wanted for dinner so he cooked. I needed clothes so I told my husband to take me shopping for clothes. I treated myself to what I needed. Normally I buy for my 3 young adults and my husband and hardly buy for myself. Not no more.
I didnt get any gifts from him but he made me and my daughter and daughter in law steak and lobster for dinner
Girl! This is my life!
Kids are just doing what dad does. My boy mirrors his fathers behaviour and actions.
Tell them. Sit them all down and tell them how you feel. Not a small mention. I mean like go into detail about how unappreciated you feel. And some things they could show you and make you feel loved.
You’re allowed to be upset. Your feelings are valid. But I would recommend talking to him about how it bothered you.
If it makes you feel any better, my mother’s day involved getting headbutted by one of my kids and doing two loads of dirty dishes. Lol.
I’m right there with you got him a new computer for his birthday this month and nothing for Mother’s Day
Same here. I try not to let it bother me too much. Our babies will grow and then I shall receive… or so I hope anyways!!
I’m sorry you feel this bad. Your husband should at the very least be taking the kids shopping for you. You shouldn’t have to but you should convey this to him. Problem is the kids will learn to treat you like your spouse treats you. That’s on him. But you have been married for 14 years? Why have you not conveyed your feelings, needs, or expectations clearly in 14 years? People will neglect your needs in a relationship if you constantly excuse or accept their poor behavior. That part is on you. All that being said. Happy Belated Mothers Day! You are worthy of their attention and soo much more. Stand up for yourself moving forward.
I’d got shopping for myself! I always do
So sad. Even though I was married to an abusive alcoholic , he always got me flowers from the kids.
Has he been this way for the past 14 years? If you don’t want to flat out ask him to buy you something, tell the kids to tell him what you want.
Joanna Love… we aren’t alone 
Dont celebrate Fathers day and dont get him anything, wake up call…
Your not the only one. I don’t get why they don’t think we wouldnt like something on mother’s day. I don’t go to church on mother’s day because I don’t like to be reminded that I’m not appreciated for being a mother.
You have the right. Could be he was raised in a family where his dad didnt appreciate his mom and brought her anything
What you need to do is not buy him anything when it happens to be a special day for hi… fathers day. Christmas his birthday, or your anniversary.
anything
We are in the process of buying a home and will be gifting us all myself, my husband and our 2 kids a puppy.
Please share with ur husband. Your boys need to be taught by ur husband how to treat their wives.
Let it go and get him the same thing for Father’s Day. Maybe he’ll pay a little more attention if you guit making it all about him all the time. You’re being taken for granted. He doesn’t pay attention or care about you enough to give you a gift once in awhile but he will definitely notice when you don’t give to him. If the kids ask about it, I’d simply say…oh. since no one acknowledged me on Mother’s Day I figured we were not celebrating this year
Unfortunately you can’t make selfish people unselfish by being kind to them. Instead of spending your money on them next time, buy yourself something.
You are not overreacting. Your husband is showing a bad example to your kids. You should be his queen no matter how many yrs you’ve been together. I just recently experienced the same problem. This passed mothers day was my very 1st Mother’s Day & I was beyond excited. But my boyfriend nor any of my family members got me a dam thing. I was devastated. Its not about the gift. Its all about wanting to be appreciated & acknowledged. There’s a day for mothers for a reason. I’m definitely going to be getting my bf something for fathers day. But same goes, my bf doesn’t get anyone including me gifts for any occasion & I just don’t understand. You love me? Then why wouldn’t you want to show that? If your husband knows that these things are important to you, it shouldn’t matter how he feels about it. It matters to YOU. I’d lay into him, especially after 14 years of marriage. Just disrespectful.