I didn't get anything for Mother's Day - Just needing to vent

I didnt get anything until I took my 9 year old daughter shopping for me…I have 2 older sons, 19 and 17 that didnt do anything. My Mom used to always make sure my kids did something on every special occasion and I lost her last year to cancer and my ex husband has never been the one to think about it let alone take our kids to get anything for any occasion so yes it sucks, I guess I thought I raised my boys better but obviously not…all I got was a text from my oldest son and yes he lives in Arizona but not even a phone call or a card in the mail and my other son that lives with me only sent me a text…it hurts alot, but I guess it is what it is and I deal with it the best that I can even though it kills me. I quit taking my daughter shopping for her dad since I wasnt even getting the thought returned, selfish as it may be but it dont have to be a diamond ring for christs sake…even just make a card, it’s the little things

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I would have a talk with your boys…, let them know the importance of celebrating a mom, grandma etc… hopefully your boys will be better to their future spouses., you could also stress this to your husband to do better for the future of the boys not necessarily in gifts but even words or a simple flower or breakfast❤️sorry you were not celebrated

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Tell him and your kids how you feel, expressing your self can help them understand that these day are important to you. If Nothing changes go and buy yourself items on these days and wrap them up. Leave them out and make a huge deal about them being there.

Same here. Did not get anything. It’s our 15 year anniversary and still nothing. I hate looking at Facebook on those days because for him it’s just like any other ordinary day.

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Same.
And all I wanted was the 3 words. Possibly a smile and even a hug to go along with it.:people_hugging:
I waited until 4:00pm to say anything about it as I was walking out the door to take my mother to dinner.
I came home to a basket full of things but the gift💝wasn’t the point.

And I guess all in all the important thing is that I got to celebrate my mother that late afternoon/Day, My stepmother and estranged father that morning for early early dinner and my kids made me smile♥️

But c’mon, I’m a damn great mother to these two girls and it would have absolutely been nice to hear the words Happy Mother’s Day from my s/o‼️
Oh well. Life continues on.:joy:
I did laundry and the dishes that day as well and picked up the pigsty of what we call home​:sob::upside_down_face::woman_facepalming:t4: oh. what. fun.

*and here’s the kicker​:joy:, my birthday is this coming Sunday (16th) snd now my whole gd vibe is off from this past Sunday to wherein I don’t even want to do squat with his ass​:unamused::smirk::roll_eyes:
Like I’d rather spend the entire weekend solo dolo​:100::v:t5::running_woman:t5:

My husband doesn’t often do gifts and I wouldn’t dream of making him feel bad about it either! We’ve been together the better part of 17 years now and this isn’t new… he grew up in a home where holidays didn’t really mean much and tbh holidays aren’t about gifts(shouldn’t be i guess I should say). But he’s an amazing man!!! This weekend he did the brakes on my car… his van needs all kinds of work but because the kids and I drive my car he felt that the priority. He busts his ass working for this family, then comes home and does whatever needs done around here…constantly fixing, building stuff… If a man is doing his part in your family, making him feel shitty over material things is wrong imo🤷‍♀️ I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid but that can be disused with him. Getting a card can be enough if you allow yourself to be happy with that. Hell cards are my favorite gift! I reread them a couple of times a year along with our old letters💞 Not every thing needs to be some grand gesture though.

You not on your own i never get mum or dad never does

Now I am a man and I do not believe in gifts, it is not about selfishness, I just do not think it is necessary cause love should not be about material but my believes can be hurtful to my wife and I understand that and I appreciates everything she does,cook, wash clothes, clean house, etc so I never forget any of those days because I know how important it is to her. Whether you believe or not, actions could hurt even more.

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Buy yourself something then show him and tell him look at what he bought you! At least you get something you know you like.

Wait till ur married for 50 years and the day us treated just like any other day!!!

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That is wrong​:rage:. I bet they expect something every year ! I am not ok with that at all. You deserve the best honey :two_hearts:have a talk with your husband and let him know how that makes you feel, hopefully he will get better. Until then go buy your self something always. Celebrate your self :heart:

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Yes, I would straight up say, to all my children, please do not end up like your father and be inconsiderate on holidays. Please be good husbands and wives and buy your spouse gifts to let her know she is very much appreciated and loved and thought about

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If you know there’s no changing him then buy yourself flowers at the grocery store. Do little things for yourself like buy face cream on the grocery store day; it’s convenient & you deserve it. Treat yourself well :heartpulse:

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Get something for yourself! Go to a spa. Get a mani/pedi. Brunch with other mothers. No one is stopping you from using Mother’s Day as a self care day. Just take it. The family will survive.

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I started buying my own gifts. I always love what I get

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Your not over reacting at all!! Do not go out of your way for him anymore!! Thats very sad that he couldnt get involved and take the kids to get you something. You are being taken for granted. But, you can also, always do what i do every year, i buy my own gift for mothers day and valentines day and all that, no matter if anyone else gets me something or not. I have 3 beautiful grown daughters with grand children and they most always go out of their way to surprise me with something and not even always on holidays. I also have a grown son, and a grand daughter and he doesnt do half of what the girls do. Im lucky to get a Happy Mothers Day, Valentines Day, etc etc.
Dont let anyone make you feel like you are unappreciated!! Ever!! No One!!

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Just tell him how you feel. Explain that you want something even if it’s just a card for that “special occasion”. Unfortunately, men don’t get this type of love language. You can’t expect him to just read your mind. :slightly_smiling_face:

Boys learn how to treat women from the way their father treats their mother. Sometimes men need a reminder of this.

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You are not over reacting. I know exactly how you are feeling. From now on you are not going to buy your husband a gift for Xmas and his birthday. No fathers day also. It does not matter. Treat yourself and stuff him :blush::joy::purple_heart:

I didn’t even get a happy mothers day🤷‍♀️

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I tell my kids and husband what holiday is coming up so they remember or I go and buy myself something wonderful and spend the day away so I do not cook!

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Your kids are your gift

Stop buying him gifts and buy yourself something instead.

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While gifts are nice, I much prefer a phone call or card/note to let me know I’m appreciated.

If you can manage to get him a gift for Fathers’s Day, then he can manage to get you a gift for Mother’s Day. If he can’t be bothered, then neither should you. Go buy yourself a gift you love and enjoy it. Your doing a job, even if it’s in your home, even if they are your kids, it’s hard work. An acknowledgment of everything you do once a year (although should be more often) is not too much to ask.

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First explain how you feel,than if nothing changes you stop buying for him.I sometimes think this is a defect in men,because I have 3 brothers who have never bought gifts or even acknowledged special occasions for our parents, and my mother in law was upset this year,because her boys did nothing for her.Its sad :disappointed_relieved:

Just because he works a lot doesn’t mean he gets a pass on still keeping the relationship alive. It’s not hard to remind someone that you appreciate them every once in a while. Every phone has reminders you can set even the older ones, so there’s really no excuse. My father works all day like out the door before anyone’s up until night and still makes sure moms knows how much he appreciates her. I definitely took that example into my own relationships and friendships. So remember that your kids are watching & learning from y’all. Communication is key though so be blunt and make sure he knows this is an issue for you. Also being busy is no excuse Mother’s Day is one day a year & if he loves you he’ll make time. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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You’re not overreacting. I have a son and I went out of my way to make Father’s Day so special for my boyfriend. This Mother’s Day my boyfriend didn’t even wish me. I did all the cooking and cleaning that day too and he couldn’t even buy me a chocolate. He went out most of the day with his friends and it really upset me. It’s like he couldn’t even give me a bit of appreciation for all I’ve done. I feel you mamma.

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Put the same effort and energy he put into mothers day into fathers day and leave it at that :woman_shrugging:

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If he doesn’t think about it, it’s you that is feeling bad. If you know you won’t feel good that he hasn’t remembered, then make sure to remind him. Some guys don’t usually care about that stuff, sounds like you got one of those guys (I do too, my Christmas cheer is ridiculous, because he’s Scrooge :joy:) I’m in the same boat though, I always have to ‘prep’ my husband and boys that something important is coming up that I care about. It matters to them if it matters to you :blush:

Our family tradition is to go out for breakfast for mothers day. Now my kids are adults and they take us out for Mothers Day. Maybe you could start a family tradition for your family, that way they remember that its Mothers Day and you get the respect you deserve.

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The response from alot of husband’s is that we are not their mothers rather get yourself something than to get a gift only because you forced for it.

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Men can be dumb. Sit him down and tell him what you want/need and why. Then make it easy for him. Write out a Mother’s Day gift/activity list with various suggestions: spa day at (name & number of place), dinner at (names of a few restaurants you like), breakfast in bed & a homemade card from the kids, a family picnic with (menu of items from store/s), etc. Give him 3 choices so there will be some element of surprise, but not too many suggestions that will overwhelm him.

My husband is an introvert, hated doing anything out of the ordinary for any occasion. I explained that while I knew HE didn’t want Christmas presents, it was important to me that I get a gift, and that it should be wrapped and have ribbon on it. It didn’t even matter what it was, but it showed he thought of me and appreciated me, and that made me very happy. Once I made him aware, he was pretty good about it. I also asked if he wouldn’t mind putting up with a special dinner with birthday cake and a present for his birthday because the kids enjoyed it. As long as we didn’t throw him a big party or make any other fuss, he was OK with that. Unfortunately the marriage didn’t work out in the end—we were just too different, but we made it work for 20 years and parted amicably.

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Don’t buy him another damn thing​:bangbang::bangbang:

Definetely worth taking time out to have a talk with the husband on this one. If you don’t show the boys together now how important it is to show appreciation for all you do as a stay at home mom especially, the sad reality is… their future girlfriends/wives will feel the same as you do and may not be as forgiving. :woman_shrugging:

Stop and do the same for him come fathers day valentine’s birthday etc then he’ll learn

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Totally understand, it can be hurtful and its perfect that you are venting. Let it out. My husband is same and always have been this way since we started daying but it doesn’t mean anything. Some men don’t like these things. I like to make occasions special but i dont expect the same. He gave me flowers and chocolates and that made me great as its my first but no guarantee it will happen next year unless i remind him. I am sure you know it that its not a big deal and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate you. Is he an introvert?

Men for the most part don’t seem to remember or put as much semblance on gift giving. Just remember Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Let them know how you feel. But keep being the beautuful person you are - do not allow someone else’s values to compromise yours.

I have never got anything unless it was organised by a daycare I also don’t get birthday, Christmas, Easter ect

I would feel very hurt and sad if my children didn’t acknowledge me or their Dad on our Birthday, Christmas or Mother’s/Fathers Day I would not care if they could not afford to buy us a present but a card or some little thing. Even when mine were small they would make me a card and spend pocket money or my husband or me would organise something with them Now they grown. They will always look after their Mam and Dad as we always looked after them. You are right to feel hurt. Tell your husband and talk to your children about showing how to make someone feel special without spending a lot of money. Bring you breakfast in bed. Cook dinner. Clean up after. :bouquet:

Treat him the way he treats you!

Not everyone was brought up making a big deal out of every holiday. Does he buy anything for his mom?

I didn’t get anything from my family either :woman_shrugging: some people are more thoughtful and plan ahead more than others I guess ! Just go treat yourself !

I used to feel this way until I realized he and I just show love and appreciation in different ways.

Instead of getting upset about it I focus on the things he does do.

Sounds like you guys need to have a good talk.

Buy yourself something and then let him know he’s paying for it. Get something Nice !