Help so I’ve been seeing this guy and eventually if things work out he says he wants to propose later this year like closer to Christmas so I kind of accidently seen the ring and it looks identical to the one my ex husband put on my finger . If he does propose I feel like I’m gonna look at that ring and think of all the bad times my x husband and I had together. How do I tell him that the ring isn’t gonna work by putting it nicely and not hurting his feelings . I feel like I would reject it because of the ring help
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just tell him. and the truth why. if he truly loves u he’ll understand and find another ring for u
Accept the proposal then have a mature conversation about the ring and tell him you would love to go see other options. It is only an engagement ring, the wedding ring is the ring that matters most. Maybe y’all go shopping for those together so you both get what you prefer.
Honesty and going together to pick a different ring would be best. Tell him you want something different to represent your union. Tell him everything with all your heart always and never hold back.
Just be honest, when he asks say yes, but then tell him you would rather pick out a different style or a different color maybe?
Just tell him it’s no big deal he will be glad you told him and want to get you another one don’t worry sweetie I promise it will work out 
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After he asks you, have an honest conversation with him and maybe you guys can figure it out together. Maybe you guys can find a new ring together. But please be honest.
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Tbh my current fiance gave me a ring from generations and it looks almost identifical5 to a ring I got from someone years ago. The someone years ago… i didn’t even care that much about so I mean, I didn’t even like the ring… the ring I have now , I love it so much! The meanings and feelings behind the ring mean so much and now I think it’s the most beautiful ring 
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Go buy the ring you like. Put your choice of ring in the box, taking the other out and putting aside , and see if he notices.
All I can say is that when you are finally over the ex, it doesn’t matter anymore. If you really love this man and you see that ring you need to be thinking how happy this man makes you not about your ex husband bad moments. You really need to let go. Think about a life with this man and how happy you will be with him.
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This goes one of two ways, you either be open and honest with him about your feelings as you should or you suck it up and realize it’s a new beginning. It’s a new ring it’s a different ring. It’s a new man and move on with those new feelings!!! Are you willing to let go?!
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Just be honest with him. Communication is key!
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I’m sorry…what?
If you would reject his proposal because the ring reminds you of your ex, you probably aren’t ready to get married anyway.
It’s not about the ring. It’s about the person giving it to you, the love you share and the meaning behind it.
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Be honest. If you can’t have an honest conversation without fear then marriage isn’t even close
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Very easily. You say “I’m shallow”
I was in this situation my fiancé proposed to me about 8 months ago on a trip to Santa Monica I took him to Walmart multiple times and showed him what I want multiple times just simple and cheap small diamond with a small silver band. Welllll he decided to get a ring from his “second family” the ring has a gold band and a blue Montana sapphire and I do not like it at all but I have realized that being engaged and married has nothing to do with the ring but all about the man that gave it to you and I’m still wearing it to this day
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Show him rings that you like or ask him if he would be ok if you guys go choose the ring together.
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Just tell him that’s the ring your ex husband got I’m sure he will jump at the chance of changing it 
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If he doesn’t know that you’ve seen it already & an engagement is something you’ve talked about I think I would just take a casual angle, as if you were just talking about styles you like or something.
I’d prob start that convo by asking what kind of ring he would like for himself- that naturally gives you an option to go on to say the type you like.
I would prob clarify that the style your ex gave you was really pretty but you’d like something different just because that has negative memories attached- & then maybe give a few examples of what you would like.
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Be happy you’re getting a ring
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If you can’t tell him how you feel, you need to learn before you marry him! Tell him the truth. You accidentally saw the ring and it’s identical to the one you had with your ex. It may test both your characters but it will show whether love wins out or not.
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Marriage… gotta be real in all aspects in life. No sugar coating. Tell him exactly how you feel! Honestly is the best policy.
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Be honest with him first and foremost.
It’s not about the ring !!! It"s about love !!!
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Tell him he needs a new gf
To me if you reject him because, of the ring. It only shows ur not in it for the love.JS
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Show him the ring your ex bought you. Or a picture of it . Than he will return it on his own
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Girl your a red flag by the first sentence 
like materialistic much 
be glad he is even proposing cause if my spouse would of said that I would be like ya I’m good I wouldn’t want to spend my life with someone like that 
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This should have been a topic of discussion. I sent my husband many rings I liked and pointed out ones every time we passed a store or photo.
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Couple things. If it was truly an accident you saw it, fess up and have a conversation before hand. If you were snooping in his stuff, you might have trust issues or something underlying there that you need to work out first. But then you have two choices either fess up to snooping and have the conversation (Be prepared that he might be mad you snooped though) or wait till he proposes and gently ask him if you can take that stone and put it in a different setting and explain why.
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Scroll through the internet beside him and "accidentally " come across the ring and say “oh look, here is the ring my first husband gave me”.
Just be honest and straight fourth.
Be like, look, I accidentally came across a ring…
I do think it is beautiful…
But, baby, here’s the thing…
When I seen it, it triggered my past traumas from my last husband because the ring is the same as the one he gave me.
Then let him know that if and when he does want to ask you to marry him, your heart want be able too with that ring.
And to be honest, as a man, he most likely want want to use the same ring as your last guy that hurt you. Just be honest.
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I always think you should choose it together or go and look and show him what you like it’s something you should be wearing for a long time and you must love it
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Be honest. If you can’t communicate openly, you shouldn’t get married
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Tell him.
Hopefully he doesn’t propose after that anyways because you sound really shallow.
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I think you have a different issue if you’d even think you might reject the proposal if you don’t like the ring. The ring is not what makes the marriage.
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My hubs had such a hard time. I told him I’d love anything he got me…but then he asked my opinion. Which led to him showing me pics…which led to the most amazing ring ever. It wasn’t from a pic or online, we decided on the fly to stop and he wanted my thoughts since he could tell I wasn’t over the moon excited with his choices. He saw what made my eyes light up and got it
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When you’re talking about getting engaged describe the other ring or show him a picture. Hopefully he’ll put it together & realize it’s a bad idea.
I got married without a ring (granted we got married 2 months after we mrt) I got my ring set kn my 1 year anniversary. We even got married at the courthouse. We’ve been married almost 11 years and happier than ever. People worry about yhe wrong things.
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Tell him your saw the ring, but if you were snooping around you shouldn’t have!
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i’d be honest. i don’t wear any type of clothes, shoes or jewelry that i don’t like. explain that looks like your previous engagement ring & you’d like something different. maybe pick out a few different styles to show him examples.
Wow, rejection over a ring!! My husband could have proposed without a ring and I would have still married him!!! I would tell ur man that he deserves better and let him move on because you are ridiculous!
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If you’re that focused on the ring, and snooping through his belongings, then you ought not be looking towards marriage. Dump him now so he can find someone that deserves him.
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Find a place that sales rings and has one like the one you don’t want. Take him window shopping and nonchalantly look at the rings and point out that ring and say “that’s the exact ring my x proposed with! They must make a lot of rings in this style” or something similar.
Or, just be honest and say you found a ring that looks just like the one you had in your previous marriage. Ask if it’s for you. Honesty is the best policy. Tell him you want to pick out rings together
Tell him straight-up. Gives him time to unload the ring and the demanding red flag.
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Maybe still take ring and find a later time to bring it up? I feel like that would make him feel bad in the moment and eventually ruin him for what he’s doing for you and with you. It’s not about the ring. It’s what you have together. Respectfully.
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Oh god, does the ring really mean that much? I think the fact the man wants to propose is beautiful, imagine if he knew you had gone to a public platform to complain about something he put all his heart into.
If you would say no over a ring then maybe you need to really think about how important this man is to you.
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I’m sure it wasn’t accidental! But just be honest and tell him the truth! Start out with a lie and you’ll end with a lie!
Well he already has the ring! He probably cant take it back. You cant take him shopping for rings if its in the drawer. So those other comments make no sense. Take the ring and then look for band that changes the look. Or take the diamond out put in a different setting at a later time. All this is after the proposal of course.
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Oh for heavens sake! Put your big girl panties on and tell him you’ve seen the ring and you don’t like it. If he doesn’t dump you then he really loves you. You welcome!
Take it be happy, love him. Go to beach lose ring. Find another one to your liking later. No harm or foul and no harsh convo
It doesn’t sound like it’s a surprise so, it should be no surprise that you looked at it. Just tell him what you told strangers. 
show him pics of what you like. That should have already been discussed. But, if that ring is a family ring, suck it up, that ring is coming from love.
I don’t think a man should buy me a ring that I’m supposed to wear for the rest of my life without me.
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Eww. I hope he finds someone better.
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Lol am.i reading this correctly 
? I see in a way where ur coming from but it also sounds like ur ungrateful…the dam ring shouldn’t matter its what u 2 built together & the life you’ll have
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Tell him what you have literally just
Said on here 
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Do you still have your old ring? If so, casually show it to him and ask him what you should do with it…like pawn it or something. That gives the opportunity for him to see it and hopefully notice himself.
Be open and honest that way he will respect that more knowing that ur open n honest and the relationship is not built on lies
I read the first sentence and that’s it.
Tell him that you can’t marry him because he’s too good for you. My boyfriend could propose with a ring from a quarter machine and I’d be ecstatic. Take your gold digging elsewhere.
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Marriage is not about a beautiful wedding, fancy homes, cute kids and nice cars. Marriage is hospital stays, working long hours, fighting through struggles, paying bills, keeping the faith & staying together through it all.
Kinda funny seen ur petty post then right underneath saw this post
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Be honest with him. Tell him you had a ring like that from an ex. Let him know that could be traumatizing to you ptsd is real this is part of communication
Show him what rings you would like.
Be honest with him you are the one that has to wear it
Sounds like you’re not over your ex.
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You don’t. You don’t be ungrateful.
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Show him a picture of your old ring and say “As long as it doesn’t look anything like this.”. You choose if you want to tell him why.
u don’t deserve a ring at all
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Do u possibly have a pic of the ring from your ex? If so, tactfully have a conversation about how much u don’t like the look of that ring anymore. Look at pics with him of ones u do like. He can take a hint, I’m sure and he has time to switch before Christmas without hurting his feelings or ruining the surprise.
If you love him
Be straight up with him and tell him
How you feel
Do it now so the poor bloke doesn’t waste any more money on you
Hopefully he won’t propose to you
And runs far and fast
And if you feel you won’t accept his proposal because of the ring
End it with him now
So one day in the future
He can find the real his true love and soul mate
Or you in it for the ring or the marriage ?
tell him to run away as fast as he can now before its too late. If this is what he is getting himself into.
I’m so glad my wife couldn’t care less about the ring…how disgusting our world is when this is a problem.
Accept it. If a ring is a deal breaker leave.
Stop playing with these men who are willing to commit and let someone else have him.
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Go out look at rings. When you see a ring like it say you like lots of rings but ones like this are like your ex husband so you wouldn’t want the same thing.
I hope the ring isn’t even for you and it’s for someone else 
Just be honest and I’m sure he will be glad to exchange it. He probably wouldn’t want to give it to you either if he knew. Just be honest.
my husband and I went and exchanged my gold band engagement ring for silver two days after he proposed. If you can’t be honest in your communication now you shouldn’t be getting married.
Probably doing him a favor by rejecting it🥴
Thats sad. Its about what it means and not looks
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He picked it out for you, no matter what or how you say you don’t like the ring, will hurt his feelings
Ungrateful at its finest….
When your shopping with him pass a jewellery store and see one you like ell him you like that style becuase it’s not anything like the one your x gave you and describe the one your x gave you. And honestly if he isn’t listening to that you probably shouldn’t be getting married.
You roll with it. When I got married young and broke my ring was less than $200. You can always upgrade of wear an anniversary later on.
The fact your thinking of rejecting him over a ring says to me you clearly don’t care for him that much… A ring shouldn’t matter… I understand the negative feelings towards the ex’s ring but honestly… If you love him it really shouldn’t matter…
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If you love him, and he does purpose, wear the ring. Love the ring. Allow better circumstances and memories to come to that style. Heal from the trauma of your ex before marrying him, if that takes therapy, do that. It isn’t fair to him… I mean did you take your ex to your parents? Walmart? Ect? Just make the wedding and more importantly y’alls relationship different.
Show him pictures of rings you like. Then show him a picture of your old ring and say I liked this one at one point but now I hate it lol. I assume he knows you were married at one point?
Go “ring shopping” and point out one like your ex got you and say I definitely don’t want one like that because it’s like the one my ex bought me.
If you want to reject him because of the ring he’s probably not the one…
Be honest with him, tell him you saw it, ASK IF THATS THE RING, and then tell him your hesitation to wear it because it looks just like the one your ex bought you. Hopefully he’s still got the receipt
Do him a favour and let him go.
You are a ridiculous girl & nowhere near mature enough to be getting married.
He… Should be running.
wear it for awhile and then suggest something else later on
Honestly, if it’s that big of a deal… just tell him exactly what you posted. The ring is identical to the one your ex gave you & it bothers you. In my personal opinion, the ring you current boyfriend gives you has nothing to do with your ex regardless of the similarities. It means something entirely different between the two of you. He isn’t your ex and that symbol of love is not the same.!
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I’d drop hints about the type of ring you want. Talk about how the ring you had from your ex was ugly, and make sure to describe it.
Y’all will probably be broken up before then anyway
If you are truly in love, ring doesn’t matter.
I’m a little confused… “eventually if things work out he says he wants to propose later this year like closer to Christmas” but he already has the ring? Like if “things” DON’T “work out”, is he saving it for the next girl who does “work out”?
Don’t people usually wait until they KNOW they want to marry the person and THEN pick out a ring FOR THAT PERSON? Or am I just old fashioned?
Not ready to marry if this is the concern.
Please just break up with that poor man now
If you’d reject him over a ring he deserves better, you are into it for the wrong reasons
I’d bring up what kind of rings you like and show him what ring your ex got you so he sees the similarities and sells it or return it and gets another. Just ask him what kind of rings he would like and then bring up what you’d like and show him what your ex got you. Maybe that’ll help. If it doesn’t help then I’d bring up how you saw the ring by accident and that the moment is ruined so he can maybe return it or sell it and then get another that you won’t see until it’s time. My bf accidentally snapped me a pic of mine when he was trying to show our friend lol it ruined the whole moment for me so we aren’t engaged but I do wear the ring on a necklace
just leave him. he deserves better