Is he wanting his mom to stay so he doesn’t have to help you himself?? I only say that because I went through something similar
Stick to guns it been 18 years ago with my last baby I didn’t want no family there because I just wanted to be comfortable in my house if I just wanted to be nursing bra and granny under wear I didn’t have to be dressed all the time I told my family 2 weeks
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My husband always tell me still tot his day stop being selfish with our kids… our son is 3 and our daughter is 1. I’m sorry that I don’t want your mothers help I want to do this by myself. It was you and him making the baby they were not there they didn’t help you grow the baby for 9 months it’s yalls child but sorry to say it you make the finally decision. 
I’d stay in the bedroom the entire time they were there with the baby … and make sure he knows this. Make sure he understand that you will most likely have your boob hanging out - trying to get this whole breastfeeding done - and see if they are comfortable with that (most people aren’t these days). Lol
He probably wants the help - and could be freaking out as well. So I wouldn’t be too harsh. It’s hard in such cramp quarters. We had a 1 bedroom and people offered to stay on the couch and floor. I’m glad they didn’t. I had a lot of energy for about a week or two after the baby. Then after that I would have liked someone to help with changing the diapers at night, cooking food, etc.
Give your man this job and have his family fill those needs 
keep them busy out of your hair now - so you won’t have them in it later when the baby comes.
Stick to your guns.
Shame on him for even adding this to your plate.
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Noooppppeeee. The only thing worse than being cramped in your own home is the unsolicited advice that is 100% going to happen. If you set ground rules, that would be one thing but you haven’t even spoken to them enough to be able to… I’m sure your bf wants them there for his own support but that’s what a phone is for. The first few weeks are sooo crucial for bonding and learning how to manage breastfeeding with lack of sleep and self care all mixed together, I would hate to have someone invading my space. Heck, even having family come visit and having to put on clothes for the first few days sucked in itself lol
You should do what makes you feel right. It is so much adjusting to having a new baby and being a first time mom. I would definitely tell him you would be more than happy to have them about 2 months after baby. Expectlly if you want to breastfeed. You basically have a boob out 24/7 for weeks and it can be painful. Plus recovering.
Stick to your guns, that first month is so rough after coming home from the hospital, breastfeeding if you choose to, bleeding non stop, your body isn’t normal and you just want to be comfortable, trying to get a schedule down, trying to sleep when baby sleeps you don’t need to feel like you have to entertain others. My MIL was there and I never felt like I could feed my baby when I wanted cus she didn’t want me feeding in front of her toddler and her husband would be there too so I would get up and leave our feeding spot. If they want to visit politely ask that they come after you’ve gotten a routine down.
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It’s stressful enough adjusting to life with a new baby! You’ll already struggle with recovery and lack of sleep and just figuring it all out in general! If you’re not comfortable with it, say no! The last thing you need is extra stress in an already stressful time.
My in laws wanted to do the same and I told my husband it was a no go and let him politely relay that to his side of the family.
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Hell to the no. Stick to your guns. He’s being selfish - and if I was the mother in this situation, I would be offering to stay elsewhere given the situation. Sounds like you already have your hands full.
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To much stress for you and He should be respectful of you as his partner and soon to be fellow parent! It would be one thing if just his mother , but all of them , that’s not right ! That will be to much for you as a new and recovering mom! Tell them and him no sweetie, there will inevitably be fights with that many strangers in a confined space as well and it’s not good for baby as well!
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Stick to your guns NOW otherwise it’ll keep going on like this as the child gets older, just my advice there
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Fuck that! I wouldn’t let my own mom stay that soon tbh. I needed my privacy at that very trying to and I’m glad I had it.
He’s selfish for inviting them over without asking you first.
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I would tell him fine the baby and I will stay elsewhere where there are no strangers and I feel comfy
I would absolutely not have anyone stay in my house just after giving birth, and I would not feel bad about it!
Although it might be helpful to have others there to help due to the fact you will be exhausted it also most likely will become overwhelming! I would let them come but let it be known that if it’s to much for you then they need to find somewhere else to stay for the duration of the visit.
To be honest I was an emotional wreck after my first born I cried for a week. I was lucky that my boyfriend did a lot to help out with baby as I was struggling to walk properly. I think you need a couple of weeks to adjust for you 3 as a family before inviting other people into the home.
Nope. Put you foot down. It is y’all’s time to bond and recover. You don’t need to be entertaining guest. Tell them its flu season and to stay away.
Stick to your guns. My grown stepdaughter, who I have known for a LONG time, moved in with us unexpectedly a month before my 2nd baby (his 5th) was due. She stayed until our baby was almost 2 months old. It was stressful for me. Not for anyone else. Luckily, she knows I’m all about breastfeeding and to expect that baby eating took precedence to anybody else. I don’t go hide away in a back room. It can be challenging for any new mom/ baby dyad, but especially when BOTH of you are trying to figure it out. You need your space or YOUR mom/ support system, not his.
That is a whole lot of extra stress on you when you will be going through enough, and he needs to respect that. He needs to understand everything your body and emotions will be going through and do whatever makes your life easier. If he doesn’t, then I’m sorry but he is being 100% selfish and this unfortunately probably a glimpse into your future with him. Hopefully he will come to realise everything and understand how you feel. They can come visit, but need to stay in a hotel.
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You are being selfish. They want to try and be part of your life. Accept it and be kind. If it was your mom and he said he didn’t want them there how would you feel? You’d be mad and wouldn’t let that happen. Plus you’ll want the help being a first time mom, it will be nice after a feeding let the mother in law take baby so you can get a nap in or a shower, or something you want to do. Trust me i would have loved my mother or mother in law to be in the house after we had our baby. Always think of how you’d feel if he said it to you. That’s what we do in our relationship to make things easier on each other.
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Stick to your guns I wish I had. If you don’t want them there don’t allow them there period
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No you are not, he is, he should put you first. Speak to your midwife, see if she can talk to him. Stick by what you are comfortable with.
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It’s so much better if they come to visit 2 weeks after delivery. It take about that much time to get the swing of things. Mother of 3… Definitely have them wait.
it’s not going to hurt to let them stay that’s the only reason they’re coming this is spend time with their grandchild I don’t know how far away they live or thinking afford to stay anywhere says they just want to spend time with the grandbabies I know I’m a grandma my son’s got a new baby and I love my daughter-in-law to death
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I understand both sides but if she cant be bothered to acknowledge you I’d either make them stay somewhere else or take the baby and go stay with family while they visit.
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No your not selfish at all, I’d stick to it or maybe stay with your mother or family for the first week or two so you can settle as a new mum
Stick to your guns and if he says you’re selfish, make it known to him that you’re the one doing the heavy lifting here, not him.
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You are allowed to heal and learn your way. It seems you may not have a choice in whether they stay with you or not but you can control whether you are social or not. If you’re uncomfortable stay in your bedroom. I understand that isn’t ideal but you should have zero guilt processing this your way. And when your s.o. is home maybe that’s when you can be out of your room socializing. You shouldn’t have to stress about anything at such an emotional time.
Stick to your guns. I did and do not regret it.
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Not selfish at all! I went through the same thing. Against me and my husband’s request, his mother flew in the very afternoon I came home from the hospital. Like he literally dropped me and our baby home, left us alone to pick her up from the airport. She flew in for one night, helped with nothing, and was just in the way. I was tired, irritated and anxious, that’s not what you want to be with your baby. It’s about you and baby, period. Dont let people make it about them and disregard the fact that you are healing and need space.
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You’re not being selfish. Show him this post.
You will need rest.
You will need him to take care of you.
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Make other arrangements. This may help him out, but will only stress you out. You are the one giving birth, how dare him to disregard your feelings. Stick to your guns, you can’t relive this wonderful experience again. Baby blues are Real, you don’t need stress.
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Stand up for yourself ! Your boyfriend should be more understanding of your feelings , this relationship won’t last
Sounds like your man wants his family there to do his part in helping you with the new baby . Men get so scared in these situations, but his whole family there is a real NO. Your the mama now not others, I don’t care who they are. Get baby home adjust, then if you really need help let them come and help. But not move in for a week,thgat is just wrong. Good luck and may God guide you through through this .I’m a great grandma , of 16 grandchildren, and 10 great grandchildren. I’ve seen alot of new mama’s come home with their babies, they all bib just fine all by them selves, yes we helped out, but we bibn’t all go live with them that is just crazy. Much love to you and be strong, start being in control now, because you will be the Boss the rest of your life as a MOM. Children are forever, mama.
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You’re not being selfish at all. Those first few days of being a new mom are hard. Put your foot down or stay with someone. The baby doesn’t need to possibly get sick with so many people in such a small place. Good luck to you
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This could be a huge bonding moment for you & his side of the family. Especially with you now being the mother to her grandchild. I would let her come and help out. You will appreciate the help, especially when you need to get a little bit of rest 
Try it out for a day…if you are uncomfortable, it is your house so you could ask them to leave or stay elsewhere. How far away do they live?
I personally didnt have family stay after birth. I did also enjoy my privacy. But if my mother or my mother in law had offered I would have gladly accepted
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This could get you to know each other better, it will be nice to have some help. You may appreciate it once they are gone and everything is on you. It takes a toll out on a person to have a baby.
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Girl no. Stuck to your guns. This is the absolute best time of your life, I would definitely not feel comfortable at all. You and the baby need only positive energy.
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I don’t see why the mom has to come with her man and daughter. His mom should be welcome to come and bond with her grandchild and perhaps be of assistance to you and maybe drop a few gems that may be helpful. The entire family would be way too much for me.
you dont know what kind of house guests they will be. If they are the sort to come for a “holiday” while you run around cooking and cleaning after them, Then it is a HUGE NO. If they are going to cook and clean and help you out, then MAYBE. How about compromise and just have the MIL for the week in such a small place.
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Not selfish at all, having a baby, getting to bond with that baby, and letting your body heal, is important and takes time. Some people want and need people around, others do not, they want and need privacy. You need to do what you need to do. By all means let them spend time with the baby, but they do not need to be around 24/7. It sounds like you and your SO need to sit down and have a serious talk and get this figured out before the baby comes. Good luck.
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You need to do what you feel is best. Your boy friend should respect that and so should his mother. I don’t feel it’s disrespectful. Some help will be nice for you though. Good luck.
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Put it this way… why all of a sudden they “need” to stay the week of?! Why cant they stay another time once yall are all in routine and yall have been able to bond as a new mommy and daddy. DON’T ALLOW ANYONE to make you feel bad about a HUGE decision such as this. Not even the dad. Men don’t think or know how we think or feel and being a new mom is a lot so the beat thing is for you to do what IS BEAT FOR YOU AND BABY AND HIM NOT ANYONE ELSE. You will end up blowing your top if it gets too overwhelming and later you will REGRET allowing anyone to take away that new mommy time and bonding
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Not selfish at all. It was so overwhelming when we took our first baby home. Even home felt different as well as a new life changing moment. I hope he reads these comments and respects your need for this new adjustment in life. Company is not what you need right after. Stick to what you want. 
congratulations too
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He obviously has no idea what it’s like to be a first time parent…you guys are going to need your space…they need to stay somewhere else and he needs to respect that…
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Your house, your rules. However, the help might be needed. Maybe try a day and see how it goes. Babies change eveehrbjng for everyone. But I’d want that first day to myself and my partner
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I would try to make it work…it’s only a week and it will keep peace in your home!
Yeah that puts you in a really awkward situation. I wouldn’t be okay with it if it were me. I feel the timing really sucks and they either need to make different arrangements or reschedule the visit for a much later time and both of you are feeling up to visitors.
Go to your own folks and leave him there to entertain
It’s not fair after you just had a baby to have that much company crunch in
You will be tired and not be able to fix snd prepare meals for everyone
Bad plan , tell husband they can come visit at a later date if he insist go stay with your folks or sister friend anyone till you are recovered
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Stick to your guns and ask them to make other arrangements. As a mom of 4, I can tell you that you will want and need those first few weeks to be alone time and bonding time with your baby. You will be dealing with PLENTY with recovering and getting to know your baby to also have a crowded apartment with practically strangers. That is a recipe for disaster and with all the hormones, it could cause you to say something you’ll regret or that causes a riff.
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Is YOUR mother available to you? Add HER to the list of people staying in your home! If you have a GOOD relationship with your Mom, she could protect you from the other Mom - from any unwanted ‘help’. If anyone has to leave, it
shouldn’t be YOUR Mom.
Just wondering…is there cultural differences between you and the baby’s daddy?
In some cultures, the man rules with an iron fist…his way, the ONLY way, period.
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Holy cow who is the one literally pushing a human out of their own body? Selfish? What? You are going to be tired and want PRIVACY while you flop around half naked and needing every opportunity to sleep and heal. Without the worry of people you hardly know in your home. That’s hard enough without a baby. They should stay elsewhere and come visit to help with what YOU NEED for short spurts of time. Mom comes first. Just ask the nurses in the maternity ward. They will kick everyone’s butts so hard about letting mom come first. I see selfishness in this scenario, but it certainly isn’t coming from your side. Honestly kinda a jerk for making you feel bad just to get what he wants. Is he popping out a baby? No. Fertilizing the egg isn’t the hard part soooooo…
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Even if you had a 6 bedroom house, you shouldn’t have 3 extra people in your house right after you have a baby!!!
This is a very crucial time to bond with your baby! It should be a stable, calm environment!
My ML came to stay with us for 2 weeks after I gave birth (C-section) and kicked her out after one week. She didn’t help with ANYTHING, she wanted to be waited on hand and foot, she only came to hold the baby. Imagine being completely sleep deprived, recovering from major surgery, waking up every 2 hours for feedings, then having to do laundry, cook, clean up after “guest” while they constantly ask what’s for dinner!!!
My husband told her not to come unless she planned on helping. So when I lost my shit and told her to go home, he stood by me! She was appalled, but he told her that I was the gatekeeper to her grandchild so SHE had to get over it or not see he grandchild!
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You will and should get the help you need when you 1st get home from your significant other. Yes outside help is nice at times but it’s a pain other times as well because they want to help too much sometimes and all you wanna say is “I AM THE MOTHER”. NO MATTER how good a person is or how close you may or may not be its important that you and the dad bond with baby before having to worry about others being in the home as well. You might not feel like wearing clothes to sit go to the living room or you may want to walk out with just a shirt and panties and not have to worry about people being in your home at all times.
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It’s your shared home. Not just his and not just yours. If he pushes it, have a safe place to go, and go there.
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I say stick to your guns. And dont let him make you feel bad. Let him know they can stay at a hotel and come visit during the day but leave when you want them to. This is your home your baby and your decision as well not just his.
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You don’t know it yet but you will be grateful for the help and won’t care if they see you less than perfect. Enjoy the bonding time between you all and accept the help they offer. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either and take a nap or sleep in
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The help will be definitely great, but on the negative side in-laws can be a bit much. This live in situation can put a wedge between the relationship you guys did not get to create yet.
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Oh God no. Don’t have anyone over for a few weeks at least! The LAST thing she as a new momma should be doing is accommodating anyone else and having to deal with other people in your tiny place! Insensitive of your husband and his family.
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Honestly I have never spoken to my husbands mother aside from them telling him to tell me hello or congratulations on the baby she’s a sweet lady it seems but if he asked me to have them stay I’d do it because that’s his family he loves them and would do the same for me n my family (his mother does not speak English)
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No you are not selfish. That is the time for you and your husband to bond with your baby and get into a routine and you can’t do that with other people around, even if they are his family. You have no bond with his mother and this is not the right time to try. They can always visit later. That’s just to much for a two bedroom apartment.
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If you are uncomfortable with the situation don’t do it,he should respect you enough to stand behind your decision you are the one carrying the baby,the one that goes through the pain of having a baby and yes you will be very tired afterwards and you are going to need some rest not entertain his parents and as a mother herself she should already know this stand your ground it should be you s/o and the baby for bonding the first month at least if they want to come help with housework or run errands that would be great but they need to have somewhere else to stay
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I feel your boyfriend is been unreasonable and selfish, I understand that he wants them around maybe for moral support with been a new Dad ? and just wanting his family around and get to know each other, but you have tried to communicate with the Mother to no avail, so I think it is only fair that they should make other arrangements, perhaps you can talk to them about how your feeling as a first time Mum and recovering from delivery and dealing with a new baby, tell them you feel you need your own space but they are welcome to visit, it should be YOUR CALL. good luck with the chat if you decide to go that route, no one wants guests around at a time like that !!! hell NO. Let your boyfriend know how you feel too. x
THEY should understand. I always waited until my grandbabies were at least a month old before visiting my daughter since it’s far away and I’d be staying at her home.
I know that I wouldn’t have been comfortable having a house full of virtual strangers staying with us right after the delivery of any of my babies. You, your boyfriend, and your baby should have a calm, quiet, private place to adjust to each other. He has no idea what y’all are in for. Best of luck to you.
This is his baby also. This both of yours home. This should have been a conversation probably before you got pregnant. Trust me your going to need help after the birth.
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That time should be for the 3 of you to get adjusted as a new family. He is being the selfish one. If you say you’re uncomfortable he needs to respect that.
That happened to me. I regret it now because I felt like I couldn’t be myself with her there and It made me uncomfortable in my own home around my own babies. Dont do it. You will regret not having those few new moments with just you and your baby and boyfriend.
Stick to your wishes, you are entitled to privacy in your own home, and time bonding with your child when you come home
No way would I want company at that time. My own mom maybe but that’s a whole different, lifelong situation. I can’t believe they want to intrude on you during this time. THEY are being selfish.
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That’s a lot of extra people and stress to take away from the time that you should be focused on bonding with the baby.
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Ugh what an awful situation to have right before the baby. Its too bad this conversation didnt occur before he said yes. I personally didnt allow anyone to visit me the first week. But then again i was very adamant about it and everyone knew. Either way, theyll be upset with you now so, just be comfortable and have them stay in a hotel.
Honestly to avoid making things more awkward. They should be allowed to stay. These are people that are going to be in your life forever. And it’s only a visit. You’ll be okay.
Stick to your guns this is your time not your significant other moms time if anything it would be your mom staying with you I don’t blame you for not feeling comfortable trying to adjust it’s a motherhood in front of somebody you barely know in your own home
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It would be nice if your significant other would take your feelings into consideration. Why all of a sudden do all of them NEED to stay at your home? Mothers come and visit TO HELP all the time with new babies; but, she doesn’t even communicate with you? Is there a language barrier by chance? Is that the reason? No, recovery from delivery is hard enough and if she and she alone is not coming to help you all during that time them they can come visit hut they gotta go…you can’t be made to feel uncomfortable in your own home. Stick to your guns. Hotels are a plenty.
STICK. TO. YOUR. GUNS. You are the one going through the birth of your baby. No one else!! You need time to heal and bond without the added stress of others. They should ALL respect your wishes and either stay elsewhere or visit later.
That’s alot of people in a-2 bedroom apartment. I say definitely stand your ground. Definitely stay at a hotel
Nope… You deserve your space to adapt to the new way of life your will be in…a new baby is a lot… Let alone family all over the place
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Tell him that’s a time for you to rest I would not be happy with people over right after I have a baby my baby that is your right to relax and enjoy your baby plus I’m sure they will always want to hold the baby I don’t like to many people holding my baby if at all so young having a baby is a stressful time if he doesn’t agree maybe if you can go to your parents for that week? Put your foot down yes ask for other then to make other arrangements maybe even pay for a room is possible
No your not selfish. He should respect you and care about what’s best for you.
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You stick your guns and lay into your husband. What the heck 
he should have your back and be defending you. You don’t need the stress or the drama. Kick them out or tell him you’re leaving.
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How big is your 2 bedroom house??? Can it even accommodate an additional 3 people!? Is your 2nd bedroom set up as a nursery or as a guest room? Do you even have a place for all 3 of them to sleep? Are they wanting to visit and help you out… or are they wanting to visit and you take care of them as well since they are guests? So many things to consider… yes they are family… but if you dont have the space then no one will be comfortable cramming all together
Maybe push it back a week? No reason to have company the first week you give birth
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Has he fell and hit his head? Being a new Mom you’re not going to want a pile of ppl up in your business. Not to mention hormones are still off. So no it’s not selfish.
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Tell him you want to be able to get to know your baby and bond with just you and him for the first couple of weeks then maybe they can come visit
Who wants people you don’t really know or even if you do wants people hanging out at your home. Don’t care how big it small your house is. It’s such a personal time and these people will only be more work for a mom with a new born. This is also a time when you bond with your baby and not passing the baby back and forth. Your husband might think he is helping but he’s not
You have to set boundaries! Don’t feel bad about it! We have 7 kids in all and it’s totally understandable that with your first you probably are nervous and have no idea what to expect during and after delivery. I’d politely ask them to come visit maybe 3 weeks after delivery to give you time to adjust and figure things out a bit. Having boundaries with extended family and anyone for that matter is healthy!
They need to make other arrangements after having a baby can be very tiring and you need rest
He and his mother are the selfish ones. You need time to get adjusted to being a new mom and to recover from childbirth. If they want to see the baby stay in a motel and come to see you for a short visit and return to the motel. Don’t know u or them but am a mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.
Looks like you got good feed back , it’s a tough call either as a grandmother I see both sides
every mother new to rest and get settled in with there new baby they let everyone come visit not stay
One thing if there just visiting you. It’s another thing if there moving in. 2 bedroom apartment and a baby on the way. Not logic at all. You can say No he needs to respect your wishes. 36 weeks close to delivery you guys should be getting things set up not worry about who sleepy where
If he won’t tell them it’s not a good idea you will have to put them in their place
Dont do it. Sit him down and tell him hes gonna be a great dad and he dont need his mama and the entire fam there. But don’t let them stay. Yea sure they can visit but dont let them stay
That is way too many people in a 2 bedroom. I’m afraid you will be getting on each others nerves instead of bonding. After you give birth your hormones will be off…
I’ve been in your shoes less than a week after my son was born my mother in law came out. While I should be resting and boding with my son I was driving her around to the mall to the beach sight seeing like it was her vacation. My body swelled and my feet were three times the size. My husband at the time didn’t care. It was horrid we lived with my parents who did nothing but wait on me and did what ever they could to help. I wish I could have just said sorry but stay away for a few weeks.
I’d tell them they aren’t welcome and I’d also tell him that if he doesnt want to tell them you will and he can go stay with them elsewhere. Unless they will do everything and help with everything. Having extra people there is just stressful and I wouldnt be ok with it unless they’re gonna help.
I don’t understand all of these people calling u selfish. There will be 6 people in a two bedroom apartment! I had a very good relationship with my MIL, but she didn’t invade. A new baby already comes with stress, why is he adding to it? If u have a good relationship with ur mom, sister, or aunt, I say let his family come and U leave. U shouldn’t have to compromise ur comfort and entertain people who have barely acknowledged ur existence.