Nope you don’t want to be laboring at home with company in the house. Then The first week after baby isn’t easy either. Your bleeding, sweating and if your breastfeeding your milk is coming in, your breast are painful and for the better part of the time you’ll feel like your topless all the time bc your baby will be nursing on demand. The first 2 weeks are the hardest. Then it gets easier but having them stay elsewhere is 
non negotiable if you haven’t developed a relationship with them this is the most vulnerable time in your life and not the best time to play host. Don’t do it you will be very unhappy if they are there.
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I mean if it’s their first child, I don’t see an issue with one of their mothers coming down. You’re gonna need the help. Anyone else would be Overkill
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Whoa. Your not in the wrong my at all. He isn’t respecting your wishes during your most vulnerable time? What a douche. And the mother needs to understand. Girl, go stay with your own family.
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Nope your the one having the kid and whatever makes you comfortable should be most important right now. I delivered late… sorry to say this but they could easily be in the room as you are pushing unless you make it very clear what your wishes are
No starting problems
Tell him you’d like to heal from birth without an audience.
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Stick to your guns. Offer a night or 2 but no more. Strong relationships need compromise. My insisted on his parents being in the delivery room. For that my foot was firmly planted. No! He said I was selfish and that as grand parents they should be there. I said we’ll call them when we are settled in after birth. He said it wouldn’t be fair because my parents would be there. My response, No they won’t. He said fine his will wait in the waiting room. I said they’ll be there for a while cause they aren’t allowed near me or in my room until I give the go ahead. He said he’ll call them and then I wouldn’t have the choice. I said sure I would they’ll be escorted out by security. I am the patient, my body is already being exposed to doctors and nurses… I am running the show.
He was pissed off. Days later my MIL(who I had next to no relationship with and who hated me)confirmed what I said and I said yup just myself and my husband and after we had some time and were settled and I showered they’d be called. I am a private and sometimes vain person. I didn’t need tons of people around while legs were open fully exposed and I also wanted to look presentable to see people. It’s what makes me comfortable.
3rd labour I was told I would be going for an emerg. C section in 15 minutes if i wasn’t suddenly in active pushing labour. I instantly panicked needed my mom there if i was going to have surgery. Told my husband call my mom he said nope, nobody allowed while you are fully exposed giving birth. I said I am having surgery, I am the patient I want my mom there incase anything happened he’d take care of the baby and my mom would have me. He said no. I called the nurse in gave her my moms number she dialed it and he watched and the nurse watched as I called my mom. He made a comment to the nurse she said, she is in labour trying to get a baby out of her body she is the patient we do what she needs to make her happy even if that means removing you if we needed. He shut up fast. 5 minutes later The nurse was calling my mom back to say it was all good she didn’t need to come as baby’s head was crowning. She was later called when the other grand parents were.
Looking back those 2 incidents should have been eye openers. We are almost 13 years since my first, and working on divorce… He was never who I should have been with, except to have our kids. But we married after they were all born…
We have to sometimes do what is right for us but see the fine line when it affects both you and a partener. Communication, negotiation, compromise, listening and understanding are huge. In your case he wants his mom to meet and see his child that he is happy and excited about(like mine did) I do agree a week long visit after birth and while caring for a new born is a lot. So a negotiation and compromise are needed to do that listening and understanding each other are necessary. He’ll insist that they’ll be there to help out around the house and with baby so you can sleep but you need to insist that while that may be true you want to be bonding with baby as it is crucial in the begining as parents to do that and you will not feel comfortable with them taking care of chores as you do not know them well and they’ll feel like guests therefore making you an exhausted house wife who just fave birth while being a good hostess. No staying a night or 2 IF they are coming from a long way out of town otherwise no they can visit just like everyone else by calling and confirming as it is you might have other people wanting to visit too.
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GO TO YOUR MOMS HOUSE. My daughters father tried this with me and his mother who literally ignored me and talked shit about me and his brothers wife for years then when I got preggo tried to be grandma of the year … I just go to my parents house with my daughter anytime she visits to avoid the drama. . He even asked if she could live there one time 
I replied to his text “does she want to use the same company moving me and (kid) out to move her in?”
Your the mother of that child. . It’s not about him or her. It’s about how you feel after giving birth and making you feel comfortable as a new mom. If he’s already settling for making you and your child second for his mommy good luck with that guy. .
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I wouldn’t wanna recover around strangers neither or have them in my home 24/7 when y’all need time to meet your new baby and adjust. I believe his mother should understand this being a mother herself.
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No you are not selfish you got to do what best for you and you got that uncomfortable feeling around them I’ve been there but I didn’t have no children by him
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If they in your house they got to respect and if they don’t you’ve got the right to them to leave and if your boyfriend doesn’t like it then tell him to leave that get your point across and prove it
You need that stress around you
You’re not wrong at all! That’s the most important time with your new baby to establish the bond and nursing, skin to skin, a routine etc. Stick to your guns and maybe explain to him that motherhood is messy and you will be at your most vulnerable and don’t want to share that with anyone but him. You want to start and establish your family. He is not being fair nor respectful to you and is absolutely wrong.
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Oh hell no!! If ur bf cant undestand her is a dumbass. The first six months is hard and crucial!! Stick to ur guns and say no!! They can come and,visit at the hospital but ur home will be ur sanctuary!! Tell,him no!!! Absolutely not!!
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Stick to your guns young lady
Most of us has little help.have the Dad stay home a couple of days.you,ll be fine.
No you’re not being selfish. A new mother needs her own routine with herself and her baby, not to mention the amount of additional germs that will be coming from strangers. Ask them to make other arrangements. If your mother or sister is available have them come over
You are NOT selfish. First time mothers can not be selfish during the first month or so anyways. You are learning the ins and outs of being a mother. Getting to know.this new human and its schedule as it coincides with your own and new people can effect that. Yes having some additional help during this first week as you are getting over the first hurdle of healing and moving around as you do so is nice. But it should most certainly be someone you are comfortable with and know because they should be there to help you with your needs not just the babys needs.
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I feel like them staying isn’t a good idea you are gunna have alot going on, I can see her coming over to help but staying is a little to much, you need a break too, and not feeling comfortable in your own home isn’t a good idea
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I’d tell him that hes the one being selfish for making such a decision without asking how you felt about it! No one knows how their delivery will go and you deserve to have the time to heal properly and bond with your newborn before having ANYONE extra around yall. Stand your ground 100%!
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Stick to your guns! That time is for you and your s/o to bond with your new baby. You can’t get those first days back. If they truly want to come & be there for your new family they will be understanding and stay elsewhere. They can visit during the daytime. They don’t need to be there at night.
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If you’re able. Ask your parents if you can stay with them while recovery. Tell him and then see how that goes. He clearly does not understand how you’re feeling. Ask him, if he had to shit out a watermelon, would he feel comfortable with your family being there to watch and recover? Show him birthing videos. From vaginal to c section births
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They shouldn’t stay there. It’s not selfish on your part, it’s selfish on his part to do this when you’ll need time to rest and heal, bond with your baby
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Stick to your guns baby! Don’t budge at all! It is about you and your comfort honey! Recover your body the way you need to! He didn’t just have birth!
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Nah, he’s the one being selfish.
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It would have been nice to have someone else to help cause we were so tired after 3 days in the hospital and only getting maybe 3 hours of sleep when you get home everything sinks in and it would have been nice to have some helping hands…than about the 2-3 day I was getting into my flow and it was good after that …maybe have the family stay in a hotel close by just incase you need the help if they are there to help.
Dewey Dollars damn this ones crazy
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No. Take the time you need to heal especially as a first time mother. Take your time to adjust.
Tell them to leave…if he won’t ur going to have to…nicely…I still dont feel comfortable around my in law and it’s been about 7 years… the father to be needs to understand this is ur time and the babies time to bond…and having ur mother in law butt into ur business on how to take of ur baby is wrong…I mean yeah u would need some guidance…but not if shes not even able to communicate with u now and dont see how it well work…good luck…
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Nope! Stick to your grounds! No one should impose on a new mother like that! I didn’t want MY OWN mom there and I didn’t need to explain myself! The whole bunch can F off!
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I think it’s nice she wants to visit BUT I say, make it like 3-4 (or longer) weeks after baby… so you’re not recovering yourself, and especially since your not close/feel so uncomfortable.
I’d stick to your gut, though. Say no
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Stand ur grown tell him to take a shit ina dam bucket naked in front of your family while looking them dead in the eye and to let him feel how it will feel when ur mom try’s to tell him how to push and how to not push under the pressure of seen him struggle
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And if hes not being u understanding sorry hu my but he ain’t the one especially if hes not gunnna try to communicate with u to comprise the situation and that mother needs to get off her damn high horse
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Ask them to make other arrangements. Let your boyfriend know that you will be bleeding and in pain the first few weeks and recovery is a big deal. He needs to be on your side. You cant be recovering, adjusting to mom life and hosting people all at the same time. He is being ridiculous.
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His mom could be very helpful. But everyone else is going to be disruptive.
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Tell them u appreciate it but you need this time for your self and the baby …
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Tell them to leave. It’s your house too and if she won’t even speak to you then she shouldn’t be welcomed until she can be civil. Also, that’s too many people and their germs to have around a newborn. 
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Talk to him, if he doesn’t agree, you go somewhere else like a luxury hotel on his dime.
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Allow them to stay, but put your foot down. You are mom and you make choices for your baby. My MIL stayed with us after my son was born and she was of great help. I needed a shower, but couldn’t do so because he was colicky. I used her to my benefit. I stayed in my room relaxing, except for meal times. My son stayed with me at all times.
I am currently going through that now. I am 27 weeks with my second child having a c-section and my tubes removed and my fiance’s mom wants to come out stay with us in the hospital for a day or to go back home and then come back for like two or three four days then stay with us and I just want to bond with my baby because I know it’s going to be my last baby I’ve already been through this my daughter is 6 years old and when I tell him I don’t really want any visitors in the hospital he gets all mad and saying that I’m selfish
I wished I had a mother in law. Never got that exspearance.
Aca-scuse me? WHO is the one that’s about to have the baby?! You need all the best energy you can get!! Having her there is hust going to stress you tf out. Your husband needs to understand that and STFU and quit crying.
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You shouldn’t have to find another place to live since it’s your place and you’re 36 weeks pregnant, but tell him you’re leaving; thus giving him an ultimatum and letting him choose.
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If his mom a ass to you then she needs a hotel. You don’t need more stress.
Tell him straight up you don’t want people staying. End of story. Let him think you are selfish. Who gf. Its not about them. Make him watch a birthing video and then ask if he would want people bothering you. Plus newborn can get sick so easy. Right now it seems everyone has a cold
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It’s his mom 
You’re going to have to deal with her eventually whether you like it or not. Be glad it’s just visiting and theyre not there permanently
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Have them make other arrangements. His Mom could perhaps come by herself for a few days. After a week I asked my mother-in-law to leave. She was none to happy but like you I wanted time with my baby. I was then able to get into a daily routine. Good luck!
Show him these comments. He may genuinely not see the problem but hell, i didn’t even want my own family around and they’re great, but learning ti be a mother and recovering from something traumatic like labor takes privacy.
I would say you want your time to bond with the baby especially after the baby is born. Tell them they can visit when your ready to have visitors. Sounds like your partner wants to have his mom around because of the baby. If your uncomfortable with it your uncomfortable with it. He should understand this.
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Have they had all their shots? Extra germs are not good with a newborn. Might be a good reason not to have them stay. Of course your discomfort should take priority over his wishes.
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Absolutely stick to your guns. You are the one physically bringing a human into this world, which is uncomfortable enough. You should not have to be uncomfortable in your own home while you are trying to adjust to a new “normal”
I LOVE my in laws and I wouldnt let them stay with me after just having a baby. Stick to your guns! No reason for you to feel uncomfortable in your own home.
Make other arrangements. Do what you need to do. Personally, I had a terrible recovery because I had a really rough delivery and it was a very personal and painful delivery so it was just me and my mom. Which was best. Even my sister, who I’m close to, didn’t come stay for a few weeks PP until after I was feeling better so that I could have my privacy. Hold your boundaries!!!
Fuck no tell exactly that fuck nooooooooo it’s mommy and baby binding moments not pass the hot baby around to all them germs nope nope
It is a delicate time for a new mom during the first few weeks. You won’t be able to run around comfy as your normal. I’d especially be uncomfortable with a man i don’t know in the house
Absolutely not! I would have been miserable having people constantly around, other than my fiancé, the week after giving birth. The boobs being perpetually out alone would be enough to say no.
I was topples for weeks after having mine because my nipples were bleeding. Also couldn’t put on any type of pants so I was just in my mesh panties. You need to be alone in your home with just your husband, trust me.
I had my mother in law after I had my son at my housr maybe a week. She was such a blessing. She didn’t try taking over or anything. But with that being said this is your baby and your life. If you aren’t comfortable with them being there tell them they can not stay with you. Them pretty much being strangers is going to be very uncomfortable them being there. Fuck your bf for saying you are selfish. It’s your decision not his. Good luck momma.
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I get you want to recover and bond with baby…but you never know mom might be a big help…I didn’t see how old her daughter is???.. I take it they are just coming for a visit?.. not to live with you??
This may work out…
Good luck and congratulations on new baby…
Go stay with your mom or your mom figure
Tell him they need to go its urs and his not his urs his moms and sisters and fathers baby
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They should feel uncomfortable themselves and wrong for asking you of this especially the mom knowing how it feels to have kids
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Nope. I’d want to have time with my bf and new baby and not have everyone else around! Plus that is way too small of a place for all of y’all
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Do whatever makes you feel comfortable! With my first baby it was good for me to have time alone to adjust it was stressful for me to even have visitors
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I also went through this. My in’laws were already at my home staying with us until I came home with my son. I had a C-section and got pneumonia so I kept my child in the hospital with me. Before I was even able to get him out of his Carrier, my husband’s father started poking me in my shoulder yelling me I better be good to that boy,and his mother while still laying on my couch turned and said I better be good to her son. (Mind you I already had 2 beautiful daughters from a previous marriage) Needless to day I started balling and threw them out of my home immediately. I think I was in shock. But when I screamer for them to get out, I have them seconds, not even a minute. This is a time for you and your husband to be bonding with your child. Even if they stay elsewhere they’ll be there all the time. They should be respectful enough to give you and yours the time you need. Be firm and polite about it, but they didn’t just carry a child for 9 months and it is your first. You might just have to school your husband a bit, but STAND FIRM. It’s not about them.
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I’m sure there’s a hotel motel close by ,be gone extended.her n her man n a kid hell to the naw 
I wouldn’t have minded the help—it’s a week so not a big deal. I would personally let them stay and I’d go instead. I really wouldn’t want my baby around that many people unless absolutely necessary.
You selfish. Your husband is going to be a new father and wants his family there. It’s not all about you
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Do not let them come to your place you will regret it send them to a motel
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Nooo make them stay in a hotel or somewhere else anywhere else. Its a huge adjusment to have a new baby espeically first time. Plus thats alot of people trying to pass a baby around in a tiny house during flu season. Do they all have the whooping cough vaccine becsuse thats a good way to be like nope. I say stick to your guns! You wont regret it. They should wait to visit until your settled
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Stick to your guns for sure. If you don’t want them there, don’t have them there.
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Stick to your guns honey. Your health and the babies is the most important thing. You don’t need people crowding you and making you feel uncomfortable. Sorry but I think your fiance is an ass.
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If you had the room, I’d say sure… But crammed in there with a baby… They can get a hotel.
You dont know what is going to happen after the birth, or how you will feel. Dont put that on top of everything else you’re going to be dealing with. It will not end up well, trust me!!
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Stick to your guns. You are giving birth, you are the one healing and adjusting to being a mom. That’s enough on its own, let alone with you being stressed out because they are there and you’d rather they not be (and baby will feeling that stress as well).
You are completely in the right,you have the right to privacy after your baby is born. Plus adding 3people in a 2bedroom apartment wouldn’t be fun without adding in a newborn baby. Your bf should be more understanding of how you feel and explain to his family that right after the baby is born is not a great time for house guests to be staying over. Come by for a visit sure but no need to be staying the night unless you change your mind
This is highway robbery! Stick to your guns!
Trust your instincts.
It’s not selfish at all I told my husband that I didn’t want anyone to come to the hospital when my baby was born. To me it’s what makes you more comfortable. I know myself I didn’t want to feel obligated to take care of gust well trying to take care of myself and my children. Yes having gust come over for visits was nice I would let them hold the baby and go have a long hot shower and even take a nap especially when it was grandparents. But I would stick to your guns and do what’s best for you as you need to adjust to your new bundle of joy
Hes an idiot! You are gonna be needing rest, newborns may sleep alot or you could have a fussy lil one! You may be sore and need help but not with the baby, that’s your bonding time. Your bf should be the one to help you!!
OMG you stick to your guns absolutely! Someone needs to explain a few things to him ! This is the most precious time in both your lives and you and him need bonding time with your baby ! If his mom doesn’t understand that then it’s a shame but you don’t need to feel bad !!! Good luck with everything 
