We have a blended family and it’s beautiful!!
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I think if you meet the right person it won’t matter
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Sounds selfish in my opinion.
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“Put up with”? My step son and husband have enriched the life of my daughter and I beyond measure. We don’t “Put up with” each other, we are a family and we support each other.
Blended family’s = more love for you and your child
I was raised in a blended family. Parents divorced and moved to Ohio with my mom and dad stayed in California. Despised my stepdad for first couple years but grew to love him as my dad and he loved me like his own. One of the hardest days of my life when we lost him to cancer almost 12 years ago…
WOW yeah you should definitely stay single. No one with chili needs to date you 
Ur heart will change If U love this new person CROSS that bridge together
You sound very selfish. Stay single!
I come from a blended family and saw a lot of fighting due to the ex of my step-dad and now I understand why. If I should ever get divorced I dont want to marry someone who has younger children. I was 18 marrying my husband who has 3 kids (the youngest 3) from 3 different women and 2 of them made life hell for no reason other then they could. The latest one was just plain nasty only caring about money, we gave her child support but if we couldn’t do extra then she made sure he didn’t see his daughter. I’ve been married 15 years, the youngest now going on 19 and I love the kids like my own and enjoy the grandbabies very much but I won’t go through it again.
Wow she doesn’t deserve to have another partner what a POS
Your feelings will change.
Who cares live your life. Why worry about things that haven’t even happened??? Duh
I feel like you answered your own ques.
You do you. If that’s what you want for your life, you live it how YOU want.
I agree, it’s more trouble ths its worth…
I agree 100 per cent!!!
Kids adjust… if you adjust openly. blended families can be great. I was the stepmom and time and love is important. And our daughter is best friends with her sister and brother and she is now 30.
I dated a guy with a daughter she was lying and manipulating I dumped him because his little girl did no wrong
I didn’t think about getting married after my divorce but a year after my divorce I met my husband and we just instantly clicked, my kids love him and they just gained another dad and another pair of grandparents, we don’t use the word “step” in our family. We do have a son together now and he thinks it’s unfair he doesn’t have 2 dads or the extra pair of grandparents but we all get along so he calls my older boys grandparents “mami & papi” and for a while he called my older boys dad “papa” just like them. We thought it was cute and funny but he grew out of it and now calls him by his name. Just give it time and things may change, no need to worry about that stuff now.
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I have a stepson that I love dearly. Hr and I are very close and a lot alike. My daughter is his sister. The hardest part is not being together all of the time but we talk about he gets to spend time with 2 families that he loves. And very often he will come to me first when he wants to talk. He says he always know I will understand. It was hard at first but if a step parent goes into with an open heart accepting that this person must be treated just as if this is their very own child while also accepting that they have to respect mom and dad, it can work out just great. Stay away from anyone who does not have this mindset and it will be good
Your feelings may change- and your opinion is valid, whether it is a popular opinion or not. I can’t say I would want a relationship or more children if my husband and I didn’t work out. Just take time to heal first and don’t make plans or force plans to happen. Good luck
You are a whiny brat. You don’t need more children; you are childlike !!! What a poor role model for your daughter.
You sound like a miserable person … hope your kid stays with your ex husband
Then don’t be. No man or his kids deserve such a hateful, selfish, nasty person in their lives. Please keep to yourself.
Well said Laura Fite
Omg. I have no words for you.
Your attitude sucks…
Hmmm seek counciling
Oh…please…smh …ridiculously silly …
You are very smart…
Wow, that’s all I can say.
You’re entitled to those feelings but I honestly think that your feelings will change after some time. I swore on everything holy that I would never get married or have anymore children. That wasn’t due to potentially having a blended family, I just didn’t want to get hurt again. I was also so scared at how my oldest would react to me having another child after being my only one for 8 years. Jokes on me because I’m married and have a second daughter. My husband has been an absolute blessing to not only me but to our oldest daughter. The first time my husband met my daughter they instantly clicked and they have such an amazing bond. I could tell that he was nervous for a while until he adjusted into our daily routine as well as us adjusting to his. He refers to her as his oldest daughter and my in-laws don’t treat her any different. My husband supports her in every aspect of life. He is always 100% committed to our kids and to us and it’s just a wonderful feeling. My husband and I also have a good co-parenting relationship with my ex and his family because it’s not about us or what was, it’s about the kids. There’s no step or half here, just simply family. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
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nothing about a blended family is uncomfortable im a step mum to 5 beautiful girls that I love and cherish and they are my life as well as my own children.because u are is a bad situation at the moment.u have a right to love 
and be happy and don’t let anyone ever take that from u.i nearly did.but thank god I’m with the most amazing man there is one out there for u to and he will be so great with ur daughter to they form there own special bond over time xxx
My blended family is the best thing that ever happened to me. my husband and I just welcomed our first born together. We have 3 babies total 
I think she’s more hurt by the divorce and doesn’t want to give herself away in that aspect. If you want to be single forever then that’s your choice. My daughters bonus dad is every bit her daddy though.
I don’t come from a blended family but omg! This is rediculous! I was raised that love makes a family not blood. This is so rediculous.
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don’t worry. Blended families are a myth. They don’t make blenders that big.
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My dad adopted my sister and me when my actual father left. Blended families aren’t the worst things that can happen to children!!
I thought a proper family was a group of people who share love and care for each other no matter the dynamics.
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A blended family is second best? I have helped raise 3 children that are not mine by blood, but they are mine. My husband helped raise my children. Best family ever! Stay single
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I’d say take some time to heal from your divorce and look at everything from a different perspective when you’re able to. Maybe your opinion will change. If it doesn’t, stay single. But your daughter will be a part of a blended family and it might be a wonderful thing for her.
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Ummmm, no. You need therapy not kids.
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Second best… wow. Do you want someone to think of your daughter as second best??
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If I didn’t have a blended family with my stepchildren I would have missed out on the greatest years of my life I will never regret it for one second
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My kids dad n I been separated for 8 yrs now but remain married.
I also choose to not have a boyfriend or live in for the exact reason you stated… its hard n it sucks sometimes… but i can live my life when my kids are grown … don’t get this confused n think I never date or am celibate … I just refuse to mix my personal life with my home life tho… thank goodness the man I been seeing for years is ok with it all, doesn’t have kids, nor does he want any… (i had a son when I was 18, married, divorced, then remarried by 22 and had 2 more sons… from experience I know what I fucked up for my 1st son n why i want what I want) … he also understands i don’t want a man who isn’t my sons father living in my home with them … 
… you may change your mind when things settle honey… give yourself time to process and heal … you never know … i wish you all the love, luck, and happiness whatever you choose …
If the “step parents” treat the kids as their own…it’s great…but if you meet a guy that doesn’t treat your child as his own…then he’s Not Gonna make a good partner
I dont look at any of my kids as “2nd best”. I have a beautiful blended family of 7 children. If this is really how you feel you shouldn’t marry a man with kids. It wouldn’t be fair to his children to always be 2nd best. Now I wouldn’t make up your mind just yet as your probably talking more through your emotions than reality. But whatever you do, if you can’t treat the other kids with love and respect don’t go down that road for their sake.
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If that’s how you feel that’s fine at least your honest. I personally came from a blended family but would not want that for my own kids. My husband came from your standard family his parents are still together, even though his mom threatens to leave all the time and says once her teenagers graduate high school she’s gone. My husband has written her off as a joke so I don’t know if this has caused a mentality in their family that in the long run was not healthy for them.
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If your scard of a blended family . Get fixed , dont have sex with anyone . It’s just that simple.
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Ignorance is probably why you are going through a “nasty” divorce…🤷 Only a matter of time before your child decides to go live with her new blended family at dads. I can’t make this crap up. Got a whole pandemic out here and your worries are blended families. I’m assuming you wear a face mask while driving alone.
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WOW I’M SHOCKED. I come from a blended family.my children also.and some of my grandchildren have. I have the best father ever and he is 82. For the last 25 he has had diabetes,legally blind,open heart surgery, 3 strokes, among other things. And each time I pray please just a little more time god.
Because I know the best thing that ever happened to me and my 2 sisters will be gone. This man has loved us from day 1. He’s our rock. And we thank god everyday for giving him to our mother.
I’m sorry you and your daughter will never know that special kind of love.
But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
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“suffer from a blended family”… I think she’s trolling
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I would personally hate having someone with your mindset as a stepmother to my children. Maybe you should stay single, for the benefit of someone else’s kids.
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Screw that. I came from a blended family and have a blended family. I wouldnt have changed it for the world. You need help. All families are different and just because a family isnt blended doesnt make it a hood family. Same as a blended families arent all bad, some are amazing. Btw, my daughter is 12, the only father she has ever known is my husband. She freaking adores him and they have a special relationship. Shes flat out said, even if her bio dad changed his mind and wanted to be in her life that she wouldnt cause she doesnt need him. She already has a a dad… my husband. Biology doesnt make a family, I think you need some counseling to figure out why u po u think it does.
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Then don’t simple as that. Just don’t lead on a man, prepare to be single or dating the rest of your life then. Not sure what other option you’re expecting…
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You sound salty because it didn’t work out for you, I’m all for people feeling however they want but to describe step children or parents as second best is fucking disgusting. There is no way proper way to have a family, the only proper thing to do is love them no matter what. Get over yourself
Why are people so mean on here? Yes, I think this is an odd post, but being mean and saying things like, “you’re crazy, you need therapy”…mean people suck. Ok…venting over, back to this probably NICE lady with an odd post…I think you will probably change your mind when the right person comes along. My “bonus” kids became mine when they were 7 and 4. They also have another bonus parent since their mom re-married. My kids consider themselves lucky because they have 4 parents who love them very much. My husband and I also have one together. There will be a difference between your step kids and your own. You may try your best to not feel the difference…but it’s there. Just try your best not to let it show. When he comes along and if he has kids, you will find, in time, that you won’t want to pass him up because of the thoughts you have now. I wish you well. P.S. Ignore the mean comments. They are unhappy bullies who get a joy out of mean internet comments. THEY are the ones who are crazy and need therapy.
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Its not a fking disease 
suffer from a blended family hahaha 
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My problem is trying to find someone without kids, who wants a kid, but not their own.
I have a son. I have come to realize I really don’t like other people’s kids so much and I got my tubes removed because I don’t want anymore. I’m sure that chaps asses but🤷
You know what you do and don’t want, no one has to conform to anyone else’s ideal relationships.
Hell, then again at the moment, I block any guy that hits on me because I don’t want a man child added to my life on top of my 5 year old
Just don’t have any more biological kids, and don’t date someone that wants any or has kids. Does that limit you? Of course. But there are plenty of guys out there these days just like this. AND that don’t have a problem with the kid(s) you already have. They just don’t want ones that are biologically theirs that they are responsible for. Don’t listen to everyone giving you crap. There isn’t anything wrong with how you feel. You are entitled to your feelings. You know what you want (or, rather, don’t want). Just make sure that is how you keep things if that is how you feel.
Nothing about my life with my blended family is second best.
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And that’s totally okay.
Dang. Then be miserable and alone forever wishing you had more children. At least your honest.
I think it’s hard for some people to change their mind sets. You envisioned the life you had as they way it was going to be forever, probably since you were a small child. Everyone thinks they meet the one and have kids and live happily ever after, but that’s not reality for most people. I struggle with this a lot. Not that I think having a blended family is bad or second best but I cant imagine having children with another man and those kids having mom and dad in the same house, but my daughters that I have now feeling like they arent as much part of the family at my house or their dads house. If you’re going through a nasty divorce right now just take time. Like a lot of time, before even thinking about getting involved with someone anyways. Your feelings are understandable but I think they’ll change with time.
I am from a blended family. My bio dad was hardly around and my stepdad is my dad in all conversations and thoughts. I feel lucky to have him.
But when my ex and I divorced, we had two children and the idea of a blended family broke my heart just as much as the thought of my then broken family. The idea of my kids having a stepmom brought me to tears.
After a few years my views did change. I dated only a couple guys and had no interest in furthering the relationship. Then I met my now hubby. From the first moment, we just clicked and that was it for me. All insecurities and fears were out the window and all that truly mattered was mine and my children’s happiness.
We move on and we grow and we adapt. Maybe your view will change- maybe not. Either way, I wish you happiness.
I will never ever be a step mother. I just know it isn’t for me. I have two kids and I am with their father. If something were to cause us to split up, I still wouldn’t have more kids nor be with someone who has children. Just my preference
i dont even understand what a proper family is. 
i have a blended family and theyre the best thing thats ever happened to me. you must be miserable. 
i guess youll have to stay single forever and never reproduce again 
I don’t blame you. Blended families are messy and it’s rarely done right. Anyone who is criticizing you for feeling negatively about the idea is either in denial or has no clue what it’s like to have a blended family. I have a half sister and an adopted sister (who is biologically my niece). My Husband is a child of divorce and I have a 25 year old stepdaughter. I’ve seen and experienced it from every side (except being the stepchild, but I’ve heard enough from my Husband to fully understand it). It’s not pretty and it’s not natural. Women are not meant to share their child with some other woman the way they are in the case of divorce and remarriage. Children are not meant to have a divided loyalty in regards to their parents and step parents. When humans are expected to behave outside of their natural tendencies, it never goes well. Plain and simple.
Just stay single and raise your children. Take care of yourself and them, learn who you are as a person. Some day, they’ll be grown and you’ll have plenty of time to date. 
I felt this for years after o left the father of my first born. 12 years later I am now married with 2 young girls. I never imagined in a million years I get married and have other children.
I love my blended family❤️
You may find that you feel differently, after a time. If not, that’s alright, as well. As long as you are honest with anyone who you may pursue a relationship with. It was just me and my daughter after a bad marriage, and I felt very much that way in the beginning. However, I met the love of my life, and we have been happily married, with 3 more children. We never said he was her step dad, and her brothers and sister are her siblings, not half.
I have a daughter. I dated a man before that also had a daughter and it wasn’t a great experience for me at all. After that I decided that I no longer wanted to date men with children. Im now in a relationship for the last five years with a man that doesn’t have kids and isn’t looking for more kids. He is content being a father to my daughter You have to do what is right for you and your feelings may change.
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Divorce can harden even the sweetest of souls. However, hopefully someday your heart will soften enough to allow you to love again. Some people find that they are happier on their own but don’t let today’s heartache guide your future happiness. There are many blended families out there living their best life. I commend you for putting your child first but you could also be depriving them of special things also. Give your heart time to heal and THEN decide. There’s no time limits here. Good luck
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If thats your feelings, than Please do not involve yourself with anyone else ever. Because those children or your future (would be) children deserve way better then you. A blended family is a blessing, not a mishap. Every relationship take time and patients and understanding. It can be a challenge but it is also fun, rewarding and meaningful.
So I hope you are happy (alone) in your life. I hope your daughter grows up to be happy, healthy young lady.
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I TOTALLY disagree!! My girls call my fiancé their BONUS dad!! He treats them as if they are his and the only thing our blended family does is give everyone more people to love and more people to love them!!!
I felt the same way. Until I met the right person. The person that showed me that I could be loved properly and my children are loved just the same as his child. They have the love of two fathers and it’s amazing.
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I’m amazed at your lack of emotional love. I raised a blended family and now two of my Children are raising a your mine and our family. And the love that comes from this is amazing to witness. Real love come from a selfless act. I sorry that you can see that and you will miss what may be the most amazing part of your life and for your child possibly.
ps. My 2nd husband and I have be married 39 yrs:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
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Reading this one hurt my heart. My family is blended, we have yours, mine and now ours. It was hard at first, and still we run into some challenges. Our kids are 11, 8, 7 and 3 months so things get pretty crazy sometimes. But I don’t regret a thing. I love my life, I love my children and I love my partner. I agree with others, this mindset could end up with you missing out on something amazing.
My fiance is a way better father figure than my daughters biological father is…he also has two grown children that have accept me with loving arms…also my ex husband had a two year old when we married that is now 19 and a mother to my first grandchild…family is family …my daughter is and will be an only child by me but because of blending she has lots of siblings to love her!
My husband and I both had kids when we got married, his 2 boys and a girl, I had 2 girls, all have been happy for over 35 years, friends with his ex, we are all 1 big happy family.
You are angry and hurt that the life you pictured for yourself did not work out. Your thoughts come from a bad place at the moment. Take a break from thinking about relationships. Enjoy, discover and love yourself. Then with time a whole different mindset will come. Many of my friends came from a blended family and it’s a blessing to love more people and be loved in return. There’s no such thing as getting “second best” in a family.
What was the norm before is no longer the case today. I came from a blended family. I don’t feel second best. There will be a time when in everyone’s family history there will be some sort of blend.
I understand that your hurting right now. You are feeling robbed of everything you wanted and had planned for your life. Take the time to heal, for both your daughter and yourself. You may see things differently in the future, or you may not. Please don’t make negative commenta about blended families where your daughter can hear though. Not only does this undermine any future relationships she will have with a step parent, step siblings, and half siblings. But it will form her views on this for her whole life. Creating problems in school when she looks down on other children for being part of a blended family. To feeling like she failed you if she ever considers being a part of a blended family in the future.
By saying that if you did happen to meet someone and have children you wouldn’t treat them like your own, so maybe they are better off without you to
I agree with you 100% I married a man with a child. That child caused nothing but trouble for us. Tried to put us against each other. He was coached by his mother I’m sure. He use to beat on our baby boy when ever he got the chance. He was 9 years older that the baby, and yet thought it was funny. Every time I tried to do something about it I was “put in my place,” as not being his mother and yet I was supposed to be responsible for the step child’s care. It made my youngest son grow up hating him, and being self conscious. I tried to keep them separate to avoid the abuse, but I couldn’t be there all the time. Any suggestions to send the older boy to therapy was met with excuses or I was told that I was overreacting. I’m with you. There are too many things that can go wrong. Wait until your child has grown and is on her own.
Let the dust settle from your “very nasty divorce” and see how you feel. Even discussing it at this point is just plain unreasonable. Tell “people” you are putting one foot in front of the other for now.
Divorce is the death of a marriage and a relationship.
The fact that you are recognizing right now you couldn’t see pursuing a relationship or someday having a blended family shows you are very reasonable and very concerned about doing right by your daughter.
Just because you feel this way right now doesn’t mean you are going to feel this way forever but who knows maybe you will and that’s ok to.
Grieve your marriage and take care of your daughter. If anyone says something snotty to you about dating just in your head think how tacky they are. To me it’s the equivalent of giving someone crap for not dating when their husband is in ICU. You aren’t even divorced yet. Your priorities are straight. Deal with one issue at a time and if or when you start to feel better about the idea of dating then look into the pros and cons then.
If you cannot accept someone else’s child and love them as your own then you should not even think about remarrying.
You are the adult. You make choices. She will learn from your choices good or bad. You set the tone for your household.
We have a very blended famdamly and love them all to pieces. Would not have it any other way !
You will either change your mind and work it out, or you will find someone that feels the same. Either way, you are in a place now where this is your decision. Let it be.
It’s not easy I can tell you that much