I do not want my 14-year-old to have a boyfriend: Advice?

I need some advice from other moms of 14 yr old girls and wanting boyfriends. I do not want her to, but I also know that if I tell her no for everything, then she will hide things from me. I DO NOT WANT THAT. Please, no bashing. Just some advice

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Is there a reason why you dont want her to? Just asking.

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Compromise. Group ā€œdatesā€, supervised ā€œdatesā€ hanging out at your house in a common room. Etc.

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I have a 14 year old son. He has a ā€œgirlfriendā€. They see eachother during the day, text, and hang out at school functions.

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I told my daughter I would prefer her to wait until 16 at the minimum but I would appreciate it if she was honest and told me if she started dating younger than that

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Good luck with that :joy: you canā€™t control who she talks to at school

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Set some boundaries and rules. But to say she cant date is just going to be a whole other headache. Explain to her that you dont want her dating yet but ultimately she is going to make her own decisions and you want her to talk to you about them. I drive school bus and I cant tell you how many kids tell me things or have boy friends girl friends or even friends that their parents dont know about because they dont approve and they hide so much from them.

Itā€™s better to be open so she can talk to you about it and not hide a relationship, you dont want them off who knows where and lying

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Ask her what it means to her to have a boyfriend.
Teach her to respect her body, herself, and your rules.
Explain to her WHY you dont want her to date or what you have against her definition of what having a boyfriend entails.

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The more you push they will rebel against you. Better to try to nip it of them not doing things out side of school. But modern those conversations.

Your not gonna like this. But put her on b.c. talk to her about sex.
Its gonna happen with or without your permission and when you tell her no itā€™s only going to make it worse.
Sometimes being her friend will get you further than being her mom. Maybe talk to her about your past experiences with boys.

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Have her bring all her friends homeā€¦that way you can meet them and gauge whether their behaviour etc is appropriate for your daughter to socialise with. Once you open your door to them you will find those with the wrong intent will not bother to visitā€¦worked for me and my daughter

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You canā€™t keep her from getting a boyfriend. Itā€™s just going to make her resent you and hide things. It will make you uncomfortable but eventually these things happen. Soon she will probably be having sex, I was 15 when I lost my virginity and my mom didnā€™t find out for a very long time because I knew there would be ā€˜consequencesā€™ but itā€™s natural? You have to accept it and be open and honest. Sheā€™s growing up, and you canā€™t stop her. So just be there for her.

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I teach middle school. I have been told by so many parents over the years that ā€œmy daughter/son is not allowed to dateā€. If they only knew that is is happening anyway!!! Wouldnā€™t it be better to allow her to with guidelines so she wonā€™t be afraid to talk to you about it instead of having her hide it from you? By the way, I have raised three daughters so I completely understand you being fearful of her dating. It is so scary, but you want her to be talking to you for advice. Good luck.

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Let me tell youā€¦ when i was her age my mom told me i wasnt allowed to have a bfā€¦ letā€™s talk about how the entire nashua pd was looking for me and my friend (her mom being a cop) didnt turn out wellā€¦ needless to say, i had a bf either way lol its better to let her and have trust in her to be safe. Give her condoms and birth control. Itll help both of u in the long run! Trust me!!!

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My parents tried telling me who I cannot be around and hang out with and wouldnā€™t let me have a boyfriend at 14. So I rebelled, snuck things, withdrawn from my parents. Then I ended up pregnant at 14 lol. So best if you guys just come to a agreement and keep a open communication. You want her to come to you, not withdraw from you.

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I didnā€™t want my daughter to either but as a teacher in middle school, sheā€™ll have one eventually. Itā€™s better to communicate with her or sheā€™ll do it, and other stuff, behind your back. I told my children they can like whoever, but they canā€™t date/boyfriends till HS.

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Tell her you will trust her until she gives you a reason not to

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Iā€™m an aunt, God mom of teenagers around that age. I say let her have a boyfriend but under close parent supervision as much as possible without being overbearing

I donā€™t have a 14 year, but I was14 only 6 years ago. Try talking to her about why you donā€™t want her dating yet. Discuss your concerns and worries with her. If your daughter has a boy in mind that she really likes she may think your just being ridiculous and go behind your back. I did that to my mother. Maybe meet the boy she likes. Afterwards talk to her about if you think itā€™s a good idea for her to date yet. Remember she will have to learn from her own mistakes.

My mom gave me an age bracket, then said at that age I could do group dates and dates with supervision. This doesnā€™t mean she would be right beside or behind me at the movies, she would sit on the other side of the room. And occasionally glance over. We had privacy and never tried to do anything outside of her comfort zone.

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My daughter is 15 and I allow it but she is not allowed to go to his house until I get to know him better and the parents. If she wants to go somewhere in public with him it must be supervised.

Good luck! Thats my advice

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Y would u stop her if u say no she will have one behind your back and do other things if u set boundary e.g. not be able to stay over and always having her door open and meeting him and not judging a book by it cover u will have a better open relation ship with ur daughter , I was 14 when I meet my partner that I now have 4 beautiful boys with it will be our 14th year anniversary in May:) my father was against it and all it did was have our relation ship apart I now only talk to him via phone every 6 months and he hasnā€™t even meet my youngest soon .

Supervised dates and great way to start

Well sheā€™ll do it with or without your permission. Your choice is to be against your daughter becoming a woman (Which sheā€™ll become anyways) or you can accept that she is coming into her own and make a compromise that the both of you feel comfortable with. You cannot stop her from growing up but you can help her grow into herself and have a healthy relationship with her.

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Let her have a boyfriend and stop being over protective? Easy.

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Set conditions maybe? When they can go out, what time until, school work not declining etc

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My mom didnā€™t let me date until I was 17. Iā€™m just fine. And just teach your daughter the importance of dating someone. I was taught that dating is to find who you want to marry eventually so itā€™s taken more seriously.

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I started dating my ex husband when I was 14 šŸ¤· I have no advise other then let her know how to be safe

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I mean you donā€™t have a real problem with a boyfriend, your problem is you think boyfriends lead to sex. Have a open conversation about sex and love, etc, and hope your daughter does the right thing. Itā€™s all you can do. You canā€™t stop someone from having a boyfriend.

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Kinda young give it a couple years :+1:

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I was allowed to date in 6th grade. In 9th grade I met my boyfriend (current fiancĆ©) and when my parents met him they ā€œforbidā€ me to even look at home. I was 14 at the time. I moved in his moms house when I was 16 and we had our first child when I was 17. So donā€™t forbid it, set boundaries with them so she didnā€™t leave the first chance she gets

She will have one she just wont tell you

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I started dating my husband at 14. We had permission but also limits. Honestly if you say no she can turn around and do it behind your back. I would just set some rules, and you as well get to know the guy. :blush:

I always told my kids that I donā€™t understand why teenagers date.
Youā€™re not out looking for a husband/wife so really your only focus should be on loving yourself and building onto your education.
So far weā€™ve made it to ages
13 &17 without any interests in dating this far.

I never told them they canā€™t date just that I donā€™t understand it and I think itā€™s silly.

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My son is 13. Half the girls he dates are not allowed to have boyfriends, but they sneak and do it anyways. They text and Snapchat but delete messages just in case their parents check their phones. I also have a 3yr old daughter and I was once their age. As a mom itā€™s best to keep an open line of communication. I think your daughter should be allowed to talk to boys her age however, know the boundaries on what is appropriate and inappropriate. I also read the Florida Law on sexting so that my son is well aware of the consequences. Show your daughter that she can be trusted and you are allowing her to make the right decisions.

If you tell her she canā€™t then she will go behind your back. You canā€™t control everything in her life. She needs freedom and she needs to know that you trust her so she trusts you. I didnā€™t have that with my mom and it pushed me away from her so much. We now donā€™t talk at all. If she doesnā€™t feel like she can trust you she wonā€™t tell you anything and she will go behind your back constantly. Just calmly talk to her and tell her you want her to be safe about dating.

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Set some rules. Communicate. Discuss things. Giving a hard no will only make her go behind your back.

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Unfortunately for you, your child is a person with autonomy. You donā€™t get to tell her no about certain things, this is one of them. The best you can do is supervise and teach her the best you can how to handle herself.

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We always talked about no dating and why. So itā€™s never been an issue. Plus sheā€™s the baby her brothers are always checking up.on her!! She doesnā€™t want to deal with brothers supervising her datesā€‹:joy::joy::joy:

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Donā€™t scare her. Let her be open with you. When she has her first heartbreak she will look for your arms. If you donā€™t have that comfort level with her it will strain your relationship with her. Talk with her. Tell her what you wish you had known when you were her age. Talk about sex. Make sure she knows what it is and how to be safe and comfortable telling guys no.

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Thereā€™s not really much to do. Your feelings on the matter wonā€™t change whether she dates, just whether sheā€™s honest about it.

Just keep an open line of communication. I donā€™t mean you have to ā€œbe her friend,ā€ necessarilyā€¦ just donā€™t make yourself ā€œthe enemyā€ either.

Discuss safe dating practices. Not necessarily sex either, thatā€™s up to you but might not hurtā€¦ i know not everyone feels thatā€™s an appropriate topic and its not my place to interject an opinion. I mainly meant about not getting pressured into anything and being able to stand up for herself. Set guidelines. Maybe compromiseā€¦ chaperoned dates only, meeting his family, etcā€¦

Good luck. Iā€™m dreading my daughter dating one day too.

I wasnā€™t allowed to date till I was 16 and none of my kids where either, boy or girl. They could have a gf/bf but it wouldnā€™t do them much good outside of school till they got the she I set.i survived and so did they in fact the boy my daughter meet at 14 she is getting ready to marry at 22 but they couldnā€™t go out alone till she turned 16.

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Simple. Itā€™s a no. Not appropriate. Tell her at an appropriate age you guys can discuss it again

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Like my mom always said where there is a will there is a way. Educate as much as possible on the subject and set boundaries the more you fight it and forbid it the more she will do things just because she was told not to.

I wasnā€™t allowed to date till I was 16. When I did get a boyfriend my mom never liked them and wouldnā€™t let me see them. So I ditched school or snuck out of the house. Finally left home before I turned 17. She couldnā€™t keep me from him. Kids now a days are dating in grade school. When my daughter tells me my grand baby has a boyfriend at 12 , I shake my head. I married mine who was an abusive, alcoholic and had three kids before I was 23. I wish my mom had locked me away somewhere until I was older and had done more with my life. They are going to do whatever they are going to do with or without your permission if thatā€™s what they want. I got my girls involved in figure skating and they loved it. They had no time to worry about boys at that age. My oldest is a dr of sociology and a field agent for the FBI and my youngest has been in the military for almost 18 years. Neither one dated at 14. They competed in ice skating competitions and had a blast instead.

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When my parents told me I wasnā€™t allowed to date I just talked to the guy behind their back. All my other friends had boyfriendā€™s. Said boyfriend is now my fiance :woman_shrugging: just set boundaries and allow her to be open with you. If her grades start to dip then she no longer is allowed to date. Honestly I feel like this is more of the innocent dating phase where they just like each otherā€™s company. But I would still bring up precautions, you can never be too safe

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Sorry but itā€™s going to happen whether you allow it or not
Even if she canā€™t go on actual dates she will still have an online or real life boyfriend at school at least

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Sex education and an open conversation goes along waysā€¦ Sheā€™s going to do it anyways and when she has issues she wonā€™t come to you. I mean ask yourself why it bothers you and address that

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Sheā€™s going to do what she wants whether you like it or not. The harder you try to control her, the worse this is going to get. Have a talk with her about birth control.
This is just a wild guessā€¦ Did you have a boyfriend at this age? Probably. Donā€™t expect your kids to be any different than you.

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I plan on telling my daughter that she isnā€™t allowed to date until she is 16 because she is gonna need a job and a ride lol. Relationships cost money and I will not be a chauffeur or ATM for that lmao :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Lots and lots of talking. In this day, thatā€™s all you can do. Be there for her and listen.

I will say as a mother of grown kids .
Focus on what you want fir her and what you want her to be , do , accomplish. If you say dont or no it will cause her to still do it but hide it . When what you probably really want is for her to enjoy friends , get good grades, be involved in healthy activities ectā€¦ if she can have a boyfriend and still do what she should and needs then thatā€™s a great live skill . Work with her not against her .
However if having a boyfriend gets in the way of any of her goals , or school work , activities ectā€¦ then she is obviously not ready .

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Keep open communication with her and donā€™t forbid it as it could very well make her rebel. Maybe like group activities are ok but no one on one dates until high school or whatever you are comfortable with. This is coming from a woman who is still married to her first boyfriend at 14. Married at 16. 5 kiddos later and 23 years of marriage we are still going strong.

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Itā€™s gonna happen might as well allow it and chaperone in your own home than have her lying and sneaking around

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Be real and talk with her. If you sit down and have a talk woth her and make her feel like an equal and not a child in a situation like dating she will be more apt to being open with you as well. No matter what she will do what she does, but if you can have that real relationship with her she will learn a new quality of reality with you which will help later on down the line. I was told no dating and i was a stupid teen! My parents made me leave people and i was stupid with my behavior all in angst. So, moral of the story be honest with her and she will learn to be honest with you. Tell her how you feel, dont cram it down her throat. In the teen years they need both a comfortable place a.k.a a little bit of a friend but at the SAME TIME they need that parent to also make known the boundaries.

group dates or invite her to bring her boyfriend on outings with the family. I would say one on one dates only after she is older 16 or 17. keeps her safe too.

My 13 year old does the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but itā€™s in school only, she doesnā€™t hang out with them outside of school, so realistically they only hang out at free period/lunch. She is a homebody so i am not worried about her sneaking out to go to his house or her having him sneak in, because we are on the third floor. Maybe allow the ā€œlabelā€ but dont allow dates or one on one hangout time until she is older.

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My daughter was told how I felt about boys, drinking, drugs, etcā€¦ When she was young I always went to the door to meet the Mom when she went anywhere new. I needed to know who was driving. She hated it, but eventually understood. We had a conversation, not a lecture, not told there were rules. Most of all she was told ā€œbe honest with me. Youā€™ll get in a lot less, if any, trouble than if I find out on my ownā€ I explained that a real friend would never force her to do anything she didnā€™t want to. And just because someone did something she wouldnā€™t, didnā€™t mean they werenā€™t a good friend or person. I told her to make her own decisions, hopefully smart ones.
I always told her if she needed help, for any reason, to call me. No questions. No lectures. Her safety was more important. Same deal for any friends who needed assistance.
Sheā€™s 22 now, & still tells me things. Often starting with
ā€œ I shouldnā€™t tell you this because youā€™re my Motherā€ I am not shy with advice or my opinion. She understands ultimately she can do whatever she chooses. But she often takes my words into consideration. Sheā€™s made mistakes and some stupid decisions. So have I. But I know she sometimes will ask herself ā€œhow would Mom feel about thisā€, before doing something questionable. And she knows Iā€™m still always there for her.
No pregnancies. No rehab. No school suspension. No AA. No arrests. Never ran awayā€¦Did well and graduated from collegeā€¦on time.
Good luck with however you decide to deal with your daughter. Trust your instincts.

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:upside_down_face: please try that NO word on this and update when it blows up

i have a 13 year old son. he has had 3 girlfriends just over the last year or so. all three girlfriends were/are not allowed to have a boyfriend and he was kept a secret from the parents the entire time mean while i have met them all (at school functions). They are ā€œschool datingā€ so only see eachother there or talk on the phone, at most meet up in groups at skating rink. To me its sad bc i get to hear all of the drama and happy stories and these girls all have parents completely in the dark.

I held firm with my daughter no dating until 16! We had many discussions! Turned out well! But she was very involved w school activities and as a senior after school she worked at a nice boutique! I wish you well! It probably helped she had three big burly brothers lol

I donā€™t feel itā€™s a parents right to control this once their child is a teenager. Sheā€™s going to do it whether you approve or not. With your consent they can spend their time together at your home with you knowing where they are and most of what theyā€™re doing. Without your consent she will simply sneak behind your back. I know people who got pregnant at 14(my bio mom and several others). Talk to her about birth control and donā€™t even try to be controlling and stop her. Sheā€™ll rebel. Let her know you may not agree with her choices but you will support her and make sure sheā€™s careful in her decisions. Be the mom your daughter will confide in, not hide things from. I also know couples married for 20 years that started dating as teenagers. Sheā€™s growing up. Dating is a part of it.

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I simply told my kids I wanted to protect their hearts. Being in a relationship is complicated and it was up to them to decide when they wanted that complication in their lives. They chose not to date till after high school.

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Iā€™ve been with my love since we were 12/13. We did it like kids and then it grew as we did but mine was mildly forbidden so I was the rebel child and did the sneaking and all that crap. It wasnā€™t until I was in my 20s that I told my mother what really happened and now me being a mother I know I fucked up and wouldnā€™t want that relationship with my child. But as a lot of people are saying work with her not against her but make it fair with boundaries

It wonā€™t last more than a passing moment unless you create a scene then she will think she wants him just because she isnā€™t allowed him, save the battle for when she is 16 because that boyfriend is likely to be a real d@ck and will change her in effect to the path she enters adulthood because he wonā€™t be so easy to get rid of

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Iā€™ve been with my boyfriend since we were 13. We are both 20 now. When ya know, you know. Youā€™ve just gotta trust her and give her a little space to make her own decisions! As long as youā€™re open with her, she will wanna come talk to you about it.

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My 13 yr old has a girlfriend . Me and the mom are in communication. All hang outs has one of us at it . Or weā€™ll take them to the mall or arcade and be there but not with them . Itā€™s about setting boundaries but also knowing they are growing up and deserve to have a little trust

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Maybe a compromise? Maybe allow her to go as long as she is in a group of kids, maybe to movies? I donā€™t know what kids do these days for entertainment, dances, games, tell her you want to meet the boy and talk to his parents. If he really likes your daughter, he will respect your wishes? My dad didnā€™t want me to date until I was 16 and I started sneaking around behind his back and he caught me one night and he decided heā€™d rather know where I was and who I was with so he decided to go ahead and let me start dating, but I really didnā€™t date that much so it ended up not being as big a deal as he thought.

Would you be the same if you had a son?
I only ask because a lot of people seem to be ass backwards on this topic. :roll_eyes:

Outside of that, you really canā€™t stop her. Itā€™s bound to happen. The best advice is to just allow her to be open about it. Thatā€™s better than you telling her no and she hiding it. :woman_shrugging:t3:

My mom didnt really want us dating, but we did anyways. Nothing too much came from it just an open and honest relationship with eachother.

I wasnt allowed to date until I was 16. I had boyfriends, but they came to our house only and you bet my parents grilled them! No shut door policy, she was allowed to read our messages, etc. She gave me the whole sex talk too. She also made sure I was well aware of what would happen if I broke any of the rules.

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Either way sheā€™s gonna do it. So best have rules and boundaries

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I think you need to know that they start dating in middle school. If you try to fight this they will learn to go behind your back. You not wanting something doesnā€™t override her wanting something. She is a young woman becoming a young adult. You need to compromise even when its uncomfortable for you because she needs you to. Its time to throw away I am the parent your the child because she isnā€™t a child. Your raising a young woman now, and its tough. You need to spend time talking. The average age kids have sex is between 12 and 16. Sheā€™s right in the middle. Talk with her, your her mom discuss that sex and sexual feelings are normal but donā€™t need to be rushed, but its going to happen eventually. Talk about self respect, respecting one another. Give them time to hang out at your house where you arenā€™t too far away. You were her age once, hormones are a real thing. They want opportunities to be grown up, do what kids their age do. Its probably very harmless. You raised her, trust her to give her some wiggle room to be a knowledgeable young woman. Talk about sex openly, let her ask you things and if you want her to come to you and trust you donā€™t judge her. Sheā€™s going to make bad choices sometimes, sheā€™s growing up help her. Let her know if things ever get serious to come to you so you can discuss getting her in to see someone. Help her through the stages fighting her will only make her resent you and usually lie a d go beyond your back. Itā€™s hard navigating through the teenage years but its supposed to be, try to compromise when you can ahe needs you to work with her even when itā€™s hard but talk with her let her know this parenting isnā€™t easy. She will be honest and appreciative because you worked through it with her. You still got lots to go through. Good luck. Trust your parenting and your relationship with her, talk and work through things. You got this!!

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Haveā€The Talkā€ with her. Basically explain everything in grave details. Let her know sheā€™ll have heartbreaks and there will be one special person for her. Let her have a boyfriend just let it all be supervised. An tell her if she ever needs to talk or just needs a hug or anything at all youā€™ll be there for her. Itā€™s gonna be tough on you,just be open with her about everything. Iā€™m literally dreading this day with my babies luckily Iā€™ve got atleast a decade to prepare. Good Luck Momma and May all positive things head your way to help you.

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I think I would let her. Most 14 year old relationships donā€™t last and itā€™s a good experience to learn how to treat someone and how you want to be treated. When sheā€™s aking for sleepovers then Iā€™d be concerned and suggest birth control.

Open dialogue!! Take her somewhere cool. A rad coffee shop. A neat restaurant and talk to her. Favorite fast food and your kitchen. Make it relaxed. Ask her questions. Let her feel comfortable talking to you. And then have THE talk. Let her know that she can come to you for birth control. As uncomfortable as it may be, itā€™s necessary. So many girls getting pregnant 14-15-16 years old.

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My daughter just turned 18 yrs old feb 3rd. U tell them no they r probably gonna do it behind ur back. Keep communication open and make sure she knows that. Tell her she can but can only do things together under adult supervision (movies, eating, hanging out) when She talks to u keep an open mind, hear her out, talk and explain things good luck momma

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Hand holding only and kiss on the cheek.

U would rather her do something with ur knowledge and knowing the truth about things then her running and doing it behind ur back and something happening. Thatā€™s son or daughter

She will do it anyway & just hide it from you. Itā€™s better to have open communication. Let her know she can talk to you about anything. I wasnā€™t allowed to skip school but, I did several times. When my daughter was a senior I told her if she wanted to skip school and do something with her friends let me know ahead of time and I would write her an excuse for school. Guess whatā€¦ she never laid out of school. When a boy at school was having a party that lasted all night. She wanted to go. She asked me if she could go. She said thereā€™s going to be girls and boys there. No adult supervision. We talked about all the things like alcohol, drugs etcā€¦ She was 18 at the time. Communicationā€¦ talk to your teens.

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Teach your daughter to be responsible and respectable - I had boyfriends - but also curfew 9 30 - street lights - we were same age and close to home or with friends or siblings - There can be problems with obessive and jealously - but if they get along as friends - let them enjoy their youth. We use to have teen dances - parties good fun - we didnā€™t have wacky tabacco - or booze - Just be part of her youth - good part. But then times have changed

Just make sure she knows her rights!!!
Talk to her about her body.
When saying no it means no and she walks away
Have her understand, boys want in her pants constantly, and she is the only one in control of her body.
Talk about you and your experience this can be ground breaking.
Talk everyday
Tell her she must be in control, bc as we know guys just need to stick it somewhere and then brag about it and shame the girl. Is she ready ?

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Oh yeah and they will always find a way to have sex ā€œsupervisedā€ and you want to form a trusting relationship, with her you donā€™t want to be ā€œsupervisingā€ as this is a myth and your only lying to yourself if you think you can control this

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My mom had ages she allowed this and that like at 14 we could talk on the phone but not date just see each other at school and school events. At 15 they could come to my house but we couldnā€™t go out alone. At 16 I could go out alone. Worked for us and it worked fine for my daughter. I let my daughter go to school dances with her bf but I drove and picked up till 16.

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My miss 13 has had about 6 boyfriends since starting high school last year :flushed:. Iā€™m not for it either but I would rather know about it and have her tell me then go behind my back. So far most have been just harmless puppy love. Lasts a few weeks then over.

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I think let her have 1 and then every dae every minute you.invite him over. Pretend like.you.like this guy rub him in her face every second she cant turn her back then he is there she cant go.with friends cause he came to vist she will grow.fast tired of him and end the relationship ask me m.mom did that after 2 months I dumbed his ass

Compromise. Have"the talk" and come to a halfway point

Give her the talk, set boundary if she wants to date. Ect. Meet the person frist, talk to person parentā€™s, get phones numbers, set curfews.

I currently have a 13 yr old and this is a tricky oneā€¦we had convos about this ā€¦ she has a bf (her classmate) in a way that they say iloveu in chatā€¦thats itā€¦ and she is ok with utā€¦she vents out on him ā€¦ they chat about school and other stuff (monitoredā€¦of course!) And i let her understand the repurcussions of wrong decisions ā€¦(i am a single mom and her dad bailed when she was 5ā€¦i keep on telling her that u have to be wise making decisions of who u wanna go out with coz this can make or break ur future) ā€¦she seems to be understanding itā€¦and just keep an open communication with ur teenā€¦ its hard and its like talking to a wall sometimes but hey ā€¦ we all have been thru the same stage bforeā€¦ Godbless on ur journey !:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Most teens start dating at this time, you can set boundaries like the boy had to come to a family dinner so you can get to know him, until she is 16 all dates will be chaparoned. Now is the time to teach her how to only accept proper treatment, and dad needs to educate her on how guess really are

I gave my niece this advice,

Before thinking of having a boyfriend, you have to understand that you will be identified as a ā€œgirlfriendā€ too. Are you firstly comfortable with that???
You have to instill Ur individuality at this age more than getting into labels. You can have a close friend whoā€™s a boy that you like to spend time with.
At this age, you are receiving an education to make and build your Life, not to worry about being a GF or Wife!

I think itā€™s a lot of peer pressure and what seems to be trending as ā€œlatestā€. Iā€™m not against having a boyfriend at any age. But you have to think of it from your own self first before committing to something that may as much be a great experience as it can even be life changing negative as well.

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Be willing to accept that she is her own person and will have wants, treat her like she is capable, and be there to keep her safe. As others have suggested, group dates or dates at the house, keep doors open always if they go in her room, and be completely open and honest with her about relationships and sex. If she is informed, she will be more likely to make the right choices and be safe.

Be supportive but set boundaries and responsibilities for her. Just be that mama that she can talk to about anything because having a daughter who doesnā€™t listen and do things behind your back will make you upset. Let her know that school work is very important so as long she puts her schooling first thatā€™s all that matters to you.
Itā€™s tough but when I was 14 I had my first bf lol rarely hanged out with him but we texted and called each other daily. Iā€™d put work into my schooling just so that my mom is happy that Iā€™m focused with my work. My younger sister is 16 and sheā€™s doing the same thing. But Iā€™m glad my mom was supportive and when I had the talk with her about sex she was there to give me great advice and got me on birth control. My mom also was at the same age when she had her boyfriend too lol

We just want to make sure our girls are safe, happy, and responsible.

My mum tried telling me she didnā€™t want me to have certain friends/boyfriends but that just made me more determined to keep those friends etc and act big n clever, thinking I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I pleased. It actually put me in a lot of danger reallyā€¦ I started online dating n meeting up with random guys (some far too old for me) I was lucky that nothing happened to me, but not all young impressionable girls are as fortunate. Unfortunately you just have to let her get on with it for now, otherwise you risk making things worse and pushing your daughter away. If it gets to the point that her friends or boyfriends are causing trouble or your daughters school work suffers etc, then you try sitting her down and explaining that sheā€™s still young and has plenty of time to spend with her boyfriend once sheā€™s a little older, but for now she needs to focus on her education and building a life for herself. If she doesnā€™t take care of those things now while she can, then sheā€™s going to find adult life a hell of a struggle (speaking from experience) hope this helps x best of luck mumma x

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Iā€™m 25 & with my boyfriend that I was with when 14. I had previous boyfriends before himā€¦nothing got too serious with us until we were 16. Just make sure your daughter is sensible & responsible. I know itā€™s scary in this day & age as kids are being intimate a lot younger. Just have a talk with her about age & that relationships donā€™t need to be a race, to take things really slow. If you donā€™t ā€˜allowā€™ her to have a bf she will rebel against you. X

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At 14 sheā€™s gonna do what she wants mama. Have the talk provide condoms or talk about other birth controls and tell her to be safe and talk to you if she needs anything

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Canā€™t stop nature just explain sex properly and if the going to do it they will whether itā€™s dark or not

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Talk to her about the purpose of dating. Also encourage her to have hobbies and interests. And build her self esteem so she doesnā€™t feel the need to have a boyfriend to feel validated.

This is the way Iā€™ve approached things with my kids and they are all taking their time and not rushing to have boyfriends or girlfriends. My 16 year old daughter and 14 year old son each have no interest in dating at this time.

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