I have a 16 year old son I was like that as well but he loved to hide from me no matter what you do she is going to hide it from you just be opened with her instead of being demanding and talk to her without yelling or getting mad
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Keep her busy so she doesnât have time for one - make her see what her future can look like.
You are her mom she need to know you love her and are looking out for her ask her to wait until sheâs at least 16 and you will talk with her about everything that she should look out for before she makes this grown up decision. Boyfriend = intimacy and it wonât stop there .
For my girlâs one Aspie the other not I set rules if to the movies I would drop them off and pickup same goes for dances. I meet the boyâs parentâs and explained how I want things to be. They were not to be alone in each other house. If its in a group I still had to know who what when and introduce myself to the other parents.Yes I was strict in her wordâs but I am not a grandma either . Today my daughter found a great guy she 26 the other aspie she not yet comfortable dating alone she 28. So I guess I am lucky.
Fund horrifying birth videos and just let that keep her nose in the books!
My aunt and uncle didnât want my cousin to have one either, guess what she ended up pregnant at 14.
My daughter was so into color guard it was not much of an issue. They practice so much and they appreciate parents being there
I have a son but I wanted to reply. We discussed dating far in advance of him being able to age wise. Heâs 17 now and has female friends but heâs thankful that heâs chosen to wait. I shared my own personal experiences with him years ago (and we still talk about it) and that has helped to solidify the decision.
Only advice i can give is shapperone and public placesâŚ
You can explain you think its too young. But if she really likes the boy she will see him some howâŚthats why i said the above
Yes or no, she will Get a boyfriend if she wants one that bad. You canât see her at school and she may keep the secret relationship hidden there. She probably just developed a crush at school or her friends all have boyfriends and she is jealous.
Keep communication open and available for all of her questions. Set limitations on what she can or canât do with boyfriend. Tell her they can earn your trust. Supervise all contact as much as possible (except school sadly where some major make outs might happen)
This in general is a scary situation on a parents side no matter what gender! Just breathe relax and take it one day at a time! (I have 3 boys at 2,1, 6 months and I dread this when it happens!)
What I did with my 14 year old is tell her group dates from 14 to 16. I must know the friends sheâs going with. I must meet the âdateâ guy and approve b4 they go. At 14 you canât keep they from a boyfriend but you can limit private contact with them.
Supervise it they dont get to hangout alone you go to the mall with them movies or whatever and she can hangout at school. if you tell her she cant she will. And she is almost to driving age you want her to be able to come to you and you want to be able to trust her i would just tell her she can have a boy thats a friend but they can not be boy friend girl friend until a certain age they have to hangout with groups and not alone or scocial event foot ball games there are ways to do it
If you say no, sheâll sneak around and end up knocked upâŚopen your doors, meet the boys family and make rulesâŚ
Honestly in my opinion, the only thing you can really do is what you think is best. Iâve got a 16 year old daughter and I tried so hard to make her understand how hard having a baby would be and at 16 she has a son thats 3 months old and she lives with her boyfriend, I donât get to see them like I would like to, on this side of things looking at this my advice would be make sure she knows you love her and will be there for her!! I love them both with everything in me and if I could go back I would make sure I talked to her more and made sure she knew I was on her side regardless!
Pick your battles is all I can say, maybe allow her a boyfriend but no closed doors in your house kinda thing. At 14 you want her to feel comfortable about bringing stuff to you so donât put to many serious rules just yet
Highly suggest letting them spend as much time together in your presence. Itâll fizzle out quickly after that.
To be honest I have a 10yo and Iâm afraid of the teenage years. I have no experience. Hope it all works out!
I wish I could say let her, but I canât. Not sure why a 14 year old would need a boyfriend.
Honestly youâll just have to talk to her. Donât pressure her or sheâs just gonna do it behind your back.
If she is anything like my daughter (16) she really doesnt care to listen if its something i say no to, she does it anyway
Explain the consequences of what happens to girls that start relations Discuss the birds and bees. Get birth control if she seems sexual active inform inform of the risk heartbreak, and all that stuff. There are levels to dating it can be innocent, but we all know whatâs up as women be honest and supportive you want her to feel good when sharing her life experiences. As a women these are all the things I really wish my mom would of told meâŚgood luck but school should be the main focus though
All of my kids were allowed to date starting at age 14 with a group OR ADULT supervision. They could say they were dating, but could not use boy\girl-friend description until, one-on-one with me, they could articulate the difference in âdatingâ and âboy\girl-friendâ in their own words. My oldest, no problems. He dated a few girls over a few years, had a girlfriend for SEVERAL months before they mutually parted ways⌠My now 14 year old daughter is dating, one boy, but still tells me she doesnât want to label him a boyfriend because she âstill thinks there is more to stay from for a real relationshipâ. I only hope my youngest does as well⌠Good luck! Parenting is HARD!
Does she have goals, has she talked about her future, what she wants to be when she grows up?
Im 18, my parents were super strict. I hid a lot of things. Upon getting caught it caused lots of tension.
Sheâs gonna do it regardless. Nothing you can really do besides have âThe talkâ and everything about it that she would need to know. Put her on birth control if you cant trust her. đ¤ˇ
So⌠it really depends on how you have bought her up, morals etc, beyond that, itâs not in your control
There is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend at 14. Telling her no will do you no good. You gotta let her have some decision making. Having a school boyfriend is wonderful. Gitta let her grow up mom. Have the birds and the bees conversation.
My advice is to keep it in perspective. I mean, what exactly does having a âboyfriendâ mean at 14 anyway? Iâm guessing itâs simply an innocent crush and something thatâs fun to say âI have a boyfriend!!â
Having said that, however, I still wouldnât leave them alone behind closed doors
At that age itâs just cool to have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
A supervised young crush relationship wonât kill you or her. Obviously you canât go to school with her but outside of school yea make sure there is an adult within ear and eye shot at all times.
She will have one⌠hid have one from you⌠and probably start to hid alot more from you. My advice is you invite her boyfriend over for dinner⌠meet everyone⌠have them hang out at your house so you can keep an eye on them⌠ie. Bedroom door is always opened⌠Do you trust her? Why donât you want her to have a boyfriend? If you raised her with good morals and self respect you have nothing to worry about mumma⌠its part of growing up 
My advice about this is talk to her. Tell her itâs ok to be friends and do things with him in a group setting but you are asking for her to not be alone with him. Treasure her that if she gets in to any sort of trouble then you will always be there for her.
Heâs a friend thatâs a boy⌠Youâll go to the movies with them cause neither can drive⌠You become a part of them, weâre in this together⌠Youâll either become the cool parent or youâll get on her nerves so tough sheâll just say forget it until sheâs old enough to date on her own 
Sheâs 14? In hs? How old were you when you had your first boyfriend? Have you had any kind of talk with her about the birds & the bees?
My daughter is 14 soon to be 15 going into high school of course shes going to want to date one dayâŚbut I talk with her and I joke around with her like is there any boys that like you? Do you like any boys she goes no mom they nasty i said well do you every want to talk about that please let me know we can talk i use to tell at everything she was doing but i turned that around because i wouldnât want my kids to not come to me so now she talks about things and i told her dont let nobody tell you whatâs right and can be wrong just always stay ahead and watch out because some boys like one thing and thatâs it âŚso we have the conversation about dating later on in life if thatâs what you want but becareful
Talk with her, work with her on conditions/boundaries with having a boyfriend, let her know that dates will need to be under supervision ( like with you sitting a table away at a dinner date but still able to see them) be honest about having sex and the repercussions there of and explain why shes too young. Be open and honest always with your children. She is now learning how to make decisions for herself and she should feel comfortable when she needs to come to you for advice. I say this from experience because my mom not only was very uninvolved in my childhood but she never cared either. I wanted someone to go to and have those conversations with.
Just be honest, have those difficult conversations.
Unfortunately itâs normal. I know i had a bf at 14. Most kids do.
My children could not date both my girls and my boys until they were 16 they knew this from the start. They kept busy keeping involved with school activities and sports so when they turned 16 it really wasnât a big deal. Donât isolate her from boys but just make it clear no dating or going out until 16 and if you do tell her she will have you for a chaperone. Be open and honest.
Lol I told my daughter she could have a boyfriend when she gets into college. She can have friends that are boys and talk with them but thereâs no need to rush. Find that boy that just wants to be her friend. Thereâs better things to focus on. Help teach her how to weed them out, make them wait and hopefully get the good guy. Nothing wrong with having a good mix of friends.
Talk to her about your worries, and then set reasonable boundaries. She is 14, so she isnât going on dates or riding around in a boys car. At that age âboyfriendâ usually means guy at school who she will sneak moments together throughout the day. But letting her know about consequences for bad decisions will get her ready for dating later.
Itâs better not to go against her. She will do it and she will hide. Rather set rules and have him come around and know who he is and they are not to see each other without permission and on your terms. Have her understand limits that come with starting to have a boyfriend. Make it a normal as possible and have full communication.
You let her and she will think she can anything she wants.you dont allow her and she will sneak or hide from you. So, just talk to her,tell her the importance of having high morals and of being mentally and physically stable before entering into a relationship;the risk of being in a relationship at such a young age.tell her to be careful of herself.
My kids told no bfs til highschool and grades better be kept up. My oldest will be hs next year though most the boys in this school are a**holes anyway
Sit her down and give the sex talk. Also let her know she can come to you for relationship advice/help. I would also have her on some kind of birth control just to be safe. I always said Iâm putting my daughter on birth control once she starts her period
I have 2 daughters 1 s 18 and just got a boyfriend and the other one is 12 I set rules on dating and a age for them as soon as they started school I did bot play the hole all they r just little and itâs cute they where told that yes they can have friends but when it comes to a boy friend that there where and are not allowed to date until 16. And With that if a boy wanted to date one of them He has to come and ask dad and I permission first .I am very close with my girls they tell me everything as soon as they come in the door after school I get 5he hole run down of the day and it goes from boy drama girl drama bullying and things the teachers do I have both girls going back and forth , I hear it all lol
Always have open and honest talks with her because my Mom was the type that you could not talk to so I ended up dating behind my parents back with a 17 year old guy when I was13 and ended up having sex at that age. I have 2 daughters and we have always been able to talk about anything . Also make sure to explain about SYDâS and safe sex.
When my daughter was that age (4 years ago) she had the boyfriend in school, which was ok with me. However, if they ever wanted to hang out outside of school, I only allowed in a group setting and I drove them to where they were meeting up with their friends. No alone time.
My girls have school boyfriends only if they can keep their grades up. We are not aloud to actually date until 16. They know and respect it.
14 is too young to have a boyfriend. My daughterâs are all grown up. I know if you tell her no, sheâs going to go behind your back & do it anyway. My grand daughter is 14 she has friends/Boys but sheâs seen her friends with boyfriendâs & tells us I donât know why, boyâs are so annoying 
we talked to about boyâs & that thereâs plenty of time for that, whatâs the rush. You have school to focus on, boyâs will just get in the way with your studies. She goes to the movies, skating etc⌠With her friends. Kidâs should be kidâs. We did all the education about sex, STDs, controlling etc⌠I even let her watch movies with me about young girlâs wanting to date at a young age. I just say meet this " so called boy" sheâs interested in,meet the parents, find out as much as you can about his personality. Parents need to get involved with whom their child is surrounded by. Iâm like the FBI I check my childâs phone, computer etc⌠just to make sure theyâre safe. Iâm old school. When I was raising my daughterâs & I had three. I let them have boy/friends come to my house to hang out but those boyâs were so terrified of me they always had respect,never crossed the line with my girlâs,they knew better
She will do as she pleases. Just make sure you donât break trust. And please, make sure he is a respectable young man.
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And. ⌠she will hide it
Iâm just extra nosey
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I would continue having a dialogue with her about why she wants a boyfriend. My oldest daughter and I have this joke about once you have a boyfriend (at (14-15), what do you do with him? Stand him up in a corner and feed him once in a while? Once girls get a bf, they struggle to balance their time with friends and bf and the drama begins with lots of girl drama. At 14, I think âhavingâ a bf is more about being validated that youâre someone the opposite sex is noticing.
Ur right ,u gotta puck & choose ur battles. Mabey let them go skating,movies. Invite him in a family outing
If you stop her, she might even end up with a girlfriend. Let her be
Be strict and just tell her no. Idk how hard that is to do
Following. My girl is 4 so itll be awhile for this.
Make sure You Listen To Her!! School her on things!! Mainly listen to her words, and body language!!
I meanâŚI tell my boys all the time that they arenât old enough for girlfriends/romantic relationships but there is no way I can stop them from having a âgirlfriendâ at school. 
Just because we, as parents, are not ready, doesnât mean they arenât. So Iâve accepted what I can not control. My 13 yr old has a girlfriend for the last 2 months, my 11 year old has a girlfriend he talks very fondly of, and my 10 yr old has his first crush.
Better get on board mama, cause itâs happening regardless of you being ready.
Cant stop the inevitable but you can educate her and monitor it
Sheâs going to have a boyfriend whether you know or not. The best thing to do is protect her with what you can⌠birth control. Have that uncomfortable talk, and either you watch her take the pills every night, or an IUD, or she sits her butt at home lol 
Sorry but not sorry⌠at that age my mom couldnât control me and I was with my first and longtime boyfriend at 13 regardless of what I was told. Educate, protect, and then try to trust her 
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Simple- say itâs not happening.
Aghhh kids!! why canât their hormones start pumping at 18 
If sheâs determined to have a boyfriend, the trick is instead of alienating him, invite him over to your house. Treat him like gold so he wants to come over. It benefits you because that way you can keep an eye on them.
If he doesnât wanna hang out at your house with her, that means heâs up to some shit.
They going hide it an be sneaky at that age âŚand restrictions going but a wedge between you .you dont need to become the enemy âŚchances are she just wants a boy to want her to be his girlfriend âŚso time to start empowering her with knowledge !! Some boys at that age the brain goes into the penis !! Come on we all remember what some where like when we was that age ! âŚtime to talk sti and STDsâŚsad fact is worse things to catch then a baby ,! âŚjust because you talk open with them doesnt mean they going want to jump from bf and gf to adult type relationships. For most part you going put them right off âŚfact shes expressed she wants a boyfriend too you means you have a good relationship utilise it âŚ
let her have a boyfriend shit people. have a family dinner and meet him. go to the movies with them. I mean they need to learn this stuff. Its not like shes 8 or 10. shes 14.
Accountability is the key,
At 14 I was not allowed to have a boyfriend. I asked my parents if a boy could come over they firmly said no I was too young. Never the less that didnât stop me from having one and I started having sex at the same age because all my friends were doing so⌠luckily i never got pregnant or worse. I had my first at 25. I took that experience and with my own kids I try to be as open and honest as I can be with them. My oldest is 16 in a month. He has a girlfriend I allow to visit in my house in my livingroom where I can see them and know what is going on. I allow her Mom to chaperone them on dates and i do the same. The more you say no the less they will tell you and come to you about. The talks are hard to have but I try to be as transparent as I can be because in todayâs world they are way more advanced then we were in the 80âs & 90s. Better to learn from home then out in the street from friends and classmates. You want to make sure the information they have is correct and they are well informed on how their decisions can affect their future. GOOD LUCK! Only you know what is best for your child.
I am a mom of 3 girls ages 16, 14 and 9. My 16 yr old was 13 the first time she came to me saying she had a âboyfriendâ my husband completely lost his shit wanted me to basically ground her and keep her sheltered bc he felt it was to young. To me 13 was a normal age to start to become interested in boys and to develop having âfeelingsâ I didnt want her to have a boyfriend however I remembered being a teen myself and âwhat mommy didnt know, didnt hurt herâ as a mom with other children and a job I knew I couldnt be everywhere all the time. I knew if we said no and kept her away she would only go behind our backs bc if she had strong enough feelings to come to me and tell me about him then she was going to do what she wanted to be with him. So I allowed her to see him and kept a very close monitor on her phone, texts, social media and they were only allowed to see each other outside of school if I was there. The boy would go out with us or he would come to our house. Just know that teenagers are rebellious and when u tell them they cant have or do something it makes them want it even more.
I had issues with my 19 yr old at 14. I worked 3rd shift. She stayed at home and after I have told her repeatedly I do not want her having any boyfriends, she snuck one in and they had sex in my bed. I found out about it by her siblings. I was furious. She got a beat down I wont lie about that. Then I called the boys parents. We all sat around in my home and they were just as pissed as I was for him sneaking off into the night to get with my daughter. Pregnancy could have happened. Anything could have happened. The thing is, you cant stop them. So you need to make boundaries. Have them be supervised. Only come over at a certain time. No closed doors. You have to be opened minded. Think how you were when you were that age. You dont want to imprision your child because that will lead to further bad behaviours. Instead talk with her, let them go out to an arcade or something. Kids this age will start resenting you if you dont give them a little lead way. My now 19 yr old hasnt had any boyfriends. Doesnt want any, and doesnt even want kids. She just works and comes home. She wants to focus on life and get her crap together. I still have 4 more daughters to worry about. Education comes first. But its ok to give them some slack as long as they have supervision and discipline. After all, every child grows up and knows consequence as well, right from wrong.
Just because she has a boy friend doesnât mean she should be allowed to go out on dates. 14 is too young for riding in cars unsupervised. Folks let their kids do whatever they want to do just so they can swing with the rest who are growing up way to soon.
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Talk, talk, talk. Not lectures, conversations. A child will never understand the ânoâ without the âwhyâ. Be honest. Share your experiences.
Im glad theres moms still like this today! My parents were strickt too and thanks to them i wasnt a pregnant teen. No im not judging others and no not all teens are like this but im saying this because i was an immature. Dumb brat as a teen and for sure not ready for a bf especially no kids! I didnt understand back than now i do and thankful for them being the way they were!! Talk to your daughter dont shame her either let her know your her safe place that she can express herself and be open to you w.e. That way you can create a healthy relationships between mother and daughter. No she may not always be 
honest with you but atleast she will know to go to you when you need herâŚsee i say this because i nwver had this⌠And it could of been helpful too besides my mom just being strict. Both work great together not but it does!
Kids are going to âdateâ whether you let them or not. Most of these little relationships happen at school only. I would just make sure you are very open and honest about everything, even if she doesnât want to hear it or it makes you uncomfortable, the truth will allow them to make educated decisions and understand the consequences of every choice in this area. My oldest is about to be 14 and we have discussed everything, down to pregnancy (and all of the hell that comes with having a child in a broken home and sadness of being a part time parent as young relationships rarely ever work) and STDâs. Thank God he doesnât like girls, or people in general lol, yet. My younger son however does like girls and had a âgirlfriendâ, he is 10. I didnât take the relationship serious, if you can even call it that. I just allowed them to play together and kept communication open so he felt open to talk to me about it and her. I warned him she was trouble though. She will be the type boys fall in love with because of how she looks, but she is seriously on the crazy side. Months went by and he said I was right and isnât even her friend anymore. I raised my older four alone for most of their lives, they saw the struggle and saw the heartache, and they saw everything they missed out on only having one parent, so I think that helps them make good decisions. Just be an open book, donât sugarcoat anything because kids need to learn from the truth not a fairytale. They will respect you more for it and be more likely to listen to your cautions. Just donât be over protective or put her in a box. Every girl I grew up with whoâs parents did this went crazy once they turned 17 or 18, like sleeping with anything thay walked crazy. Itâs like 18 years of wild came out all at once. Find a happy medium.
I set the rule with all three of my children early before dating became a topic of conversation that there would be none of that until high school and no social media until grade 7. I pushed for dating to be college and university but half expected to lose that one and did with my boys. They all abided by it. I think they did for two reasons. 1. I established it early in primary grades and 2. I told them they were too young to cope with rejection that adults had a hard enough time dealing with it, public school relationships were doomed to breakup. There was no possible way those tryouts would last and somebody was going to get rejected. They are not psychologically equipped for it and their job was school. My kids always responded to the logic of why I felt the way I did on certain issues and I always explained my reasoning for things. I think you need to point out the probability of the rejection and establish the âfamily ruleâ way before the date of opportunity. Then she is prepared with a response of " no thank you I canât do that in my family." Education before relationships thereâs plenty of time for that when they have emotionally developed far enough to problem solve the outcomes. Itâs easier to say âthis is how it will beâ rather than âthis is how it isâ in the moment when sheâs in a situation. Kids do well when they are prepared with a response, (actually so do adults). When they did get social media in grade 7 I had the passwords and the prerogative to log in at anytime, I gave them their autonomy on their accounts in grade 9. But still had internet security (Norton Internet security for family), to block things and set wifi access times.I always provided my kids with an âout for any uncomfortable situationâ I said âjust blame me, tell them my mom is just unreasonable or just being a bitch. I can handle it, if it gives you a way out of something you arenât comfortable with.â I would take the blame for them to get out of something not right for them. They were always prepared with a response or an exit.
You can tell her all she wants but she will do whatever she can when your not around. Instead of dictating her life teach her to be smart with her choices. Teach her about safe sex, unsafe sex, stds, stiâs, abortion/pregnancy, ALL OF IT. It is her life and her life choices so even though you say ânoâ the choice is hers to make, you can at least prep her for the real world so she isnt stupid about it . Or you can chain her up in her room, go to school with her, go out with her friends with her. Being smart and trustable VS being held down and then explosively doing what she wants anyways.