My SO thinks I’m paranoid with our 2-year-old Daughter & I don’t think I am. I think I have reasonable reasons. My SO & I have a 2-year-old daughter together, she just turned two, and I’m due in 3 weeks with our second daughter, we are delivering her an hour or so away from where we live. We’ve had it planned out for the past 2 months that our two years old would go to my aunt’s house for the days we are in the Hospital. My SO just asked me this week if I was ok with his 15-year-old daughter watching our 2 year old instead of my aunt’s. But I told him I don’t feel comfortable having her watch our daughter for 3+ day’s and I told him why. I trust his daughter she had watched her for a few hour’s here and there before when our daughter was younger, but I think being alone for 3+ day’s with a toddler with no transportation is a lot and she’s 2, she is starting to get a horrid attitude where sometimes I’m like Woah wtf is going on right now hahaha. But we don’t live in town we live 20+ minutes outside of any town, so if she runs out of anything or there is an emergency, she can’t get or go anywhere, she can’t cook, not even mac & cheese. So she has to cook 3 meals a day plus snacks plus clean. My aunt lives in town, she has transportation, Hospital, store’s, 5 minutes away from her, knows how to cook & properly take care of a toddler. I told him I don’t want to be worrying about our daughter the whole time we are in the Hospital. If she’s at my aunt’s, at least, I don’t have to worry; this is going to be the longest I’ve ever been away from our daughter. I’ve been away from her one night in the last two years. I’m sorry I want her to be safe & well taken care of with a responsible adult. And after I gave him my reasons, he gave me some shitty attitude & got pissed about it & didn’t care about any of the reasons I had. Do you think I am paranoid? Or do you think he is unreasonable?
I don't feel comfortable with my husbands teen watching our daughter: Am I being paranoid?
That’s a HUGE responsibility for a teen.
I’d have the aunt watch her.
I think your being reasonable. Your daughter would be safer with her Aunty.
The aunt definitely. I’m sorry 15 is not old enough to be caring for a 2 year old for 3 whole days. Anything could happen. And you need to feel comfortable and no stressed while having a new baby and your husband needs to respect that
I kind of agree with you, Mom. She’s 15. I think I’d question that for my 18yo. Not that she can’t babysit. Not that she isn’t responsible. It’s just too long, too far away from town and too much could go wrong. Probably wouldn’t…but could.
Nope. You deserve your peace while in the hospital and your Aunt can give that to you. The 15yo could certainly help the Aunt?
I was a very responsible 15 year old and yet I don’t think I wouldve been a good candidate to watch a 2 year old for that much time. I have a 2 year old now and they try to kill themselves I swear lol. They’re a lot of work. More than I think a 15 year could handle.
The first thing that popped out at me from this is you’re married to her dad, do you not call her your stepdaughter also? Back to the responsibility tho If it was just for a day i would be ok with it but not for multiple days.
Doesn’t the 15 year old have to go to school?
As someone who’s watched a child much younger than your daughter at the same age as your step daughter, let your Aunty watch the little one. They’re SO much responsibility especially for someone who’s only 15
I agree with you. That is a lot for a 15 year old. Especially one that can’t cook. And like you said if there’s an emergency she’s completely stuck.
My babysitter is 15 and the longest she has watched my 4 year old is 6 and half hours And my work is 12 mins from home. It’s not that I dont trust her but that is def a lot for a teenager to handle that for that many days!!!
I agree with you and don’t even see why he would think his daughter would be a better option…
That’s a lot of responsibility to leave to a 15 year old. I tried to trust my cousin who was 18 to watch my kid for a few hours while we were out of town and my mom would take over at night. She couldn’t handle it. She called me and complained the entire time, was over watching my child after only a few hours and my mom ended up having to take off work because she basically said she was leaving either way and my kid was the same age as your daughter.
Every teenager is different but after that experience I’ve only asked one other cousin to watch my child and that’s because I know she’s actually responsible and loves my kids. Leave her with your aunt.
You’re not being unreasonable at all. At 15 i could barley handle a fake robot child for 3 days let alone a living breathing toddler.
You can not leave a baby with a minor for 3 days…anything could happen
Bring the 2yo to the aunts. A 15 yo doesn’t need to be alone for 3+ days without any transportation. Just too dangerous these days.
I don’t even leave my kids with teenagers for a couple hours. So i think you are definitely in the right. They are to impulsive and toddlers can be rough. She should stay with your aunt.
15 is not a good age to be with a child for more than a few hours. Its a big responsibility for someone so young. I would not even leave her home alone for 3 days… Send the teen to an aunts house too!
No way. A few hours is fine but a whole three days alone with a toddler? NOPE.
I’m with you girl. You’re not paranoid, your points are perfectly valid. He’s crazy for thinking that’s what you should do!
That’s a big responsibility for a 15yo. I could understand helping from time to time but to ask a 15 yo to take on a huge adult responsibility isn’t fair to her. If you have older help I’d send your daughter there and let the step daughter be 15. I’m a firm believer in family helps family but she didn’t ask to be a big sister and didn’t ask to take on the role of part time care giver.
You’re justified in what you’re feeling
Its different if it’s a few hours compared to a few days especially since she has no transportation if anything(god forbid) happens
I understand you’re concerns if she was older and more responsible I dont see a problem but shes 15
And legally she cant watch her for 3 days, you’re 2 year old would have to be watched by someone 18 or older
That’s a long time to be alone with the tot. I would be cool with it if it was for the day but not overnight and not for 3+ days
Way too much. I wouldn’t let a 15 year old stay home overnight alone, much less with a 2 year old to watch.
My question is why would he rather his daughter watch the child instead of the Aunt. Any adult knows that she would be safer with an adult. I’m sure she would do a great job short term sitting but that is a rather long time for a 15 year old.
Can the aunt stay with both kids? Where will the teen be? Why not give the teen some responsibility and tell her shes watching the little and have your aunt stay there to help when needed but not hover.
I wouldn’t let a Baby look after my baby . No 15 year-old should or should be asked to have to watch a 2 year old . Send bubba to aunts that would be the best thing to do
3 days is definitely a lot of a 15 year old. I wouldn’t either. I gotta agree with you on this.
Seems that it’s not really about trust, but logic. It logically makes more sense for your Aunt to watch the toddler. Teenagers are great for date nights or even a day. But for 3 days your Aunt is the best choice due to all the reasons listed. A 15yr old who can’t drive wouldn’t be able to handle any emergency.
At 15 I think a single day would be a reasonable offer. 3 days is too much.
Hubby has an issue? You go to a friend or family members house for a weekend leaving him solo on dad duty- watch how fast he changes his mind.
You made very valid points. You’re out of town, no neighbors and no transportation for emergencies or if they’ve ran out of food or other supplies.
She doesn’t cook which means I personally wouldn’t trust even just her alone for 3 days.
YOU need to be able to concentrate on laboring when you’re away anyways. You’re obviously not going to be able to relax enough to do that if you’re worried about your toddler the whole time.
I wouldn’t want to leave my 2 year old with my 15 year old. Even if she was responsible enough and mature enough plus I wouldn’t want to leave my 15 year old at home alone that long. I would leave them both with the aunt.
I wouldn’t leave a teenager alone for 3 days. Let one with a toddle.
Yeaa def a no for a 15 year old to watch a toddler for that long
Maybe the teenager could help your aunt with the 2 year old while she’s there?
That’s too much for a 15 year old to handle… I would give your 2 year old to your aunt
No. She is not old enough to be watching a 2 year old for that long. I have a 15 year old and wouldn’t leave her over night to watch her younger siblings
A 15 year old legally can’t watch a 2 year old for 3 days.
I wouldnt even leave the 15 year old alone over night. So no you’re right and he will get over himself.
You are right. 15 is not ok to watch a 2 yr old for 3 days. Absolutely not.
He’s an idiot! And typically, he probably hasn’t even thought about all that needs to be done to take care of the 2yr old and keep this baby safe, why on earth he would want a 15yr old to look after a 2yr old for 2-3 days, and alone??.. He’s an idiot!
You’re right! 3 days is too long.
You may check with your state laws but I don’t think it is even legal to leave a 15 year old alone over night let alone with a toddler. I know you can’t in ohio. Against the law. That will settle the matter
I agree with you 3 days is far too long . She might not know what to do if there was an emergency . What about school what would happen with your 2 year old while she’s at school . A few hrs maybe but not overnight x
I don’t think it’s paranoid at all! It’s too much responsibility for too many days!! That’s way too overwhelming for a teenager!! I’d never leave my toddler with a teenager like that or be pressured into it! Just calmly talk to him about what kinds of emergencies could arise that the teen couldn’t handle that the aunt would obviously be better prepared for and firmly state as the mother, this would set my mind at ease! And be done with it! You are the mom!! You are the one who makes these decisions for the most part anyway!! Stay strong
Never would I leave a 15 year old for three days And Never watching a two year old!! Too much can happen, 2 year olds are a handful for a responsible adult lest alone a young girl!!!
You’re right, your husband is wrong and he obviously lacks good judgment. Good for you for being a good responsible mother! Tell your husband to grow up.
Absolutely not, a 15 year old is not responsible enough to watch a 2 year old for 3 days! Especially when she has no way of going anywhere or anything if needed. If it was a situation where you had no one else to watch your two year and you HAD to let the 15 year old then okay… but now when you have an adult more than capable and also happens to be family to keep her for you. You already have enough going on after having a new baby, that’s just unnecessary stress for you.
No unreasonable. I don’t trust anyone but my parents and mother in law with our kids. I don’t even trust my father in law and we live with them. And it is too much to ask of a 15yr old
Maybe I’m the oddball out here because I was left home alone during the week, sometimes several weeks at a time beginning at the age of 13 (grandpa raised me, grandma died and we had to move for him to find work to support raising a kid alone and it was the only way things could work) anyways, if the 15 yr old is used to being around the toddler I dont really see an issue. It’s also not unreasonable or impossible for hubby to go check in on them either, theres no reason he needs to be there every second of your hospital stay especially once delivery is over. I really wouldnt worry about cooking either bc let’s be realistic both toddlers and teens dont give a flying flip if they’re eating a meal or snacks, as long as they are eating. If it were my kid I would allow it but then again like I said it appears I would be the oddball out here in this one
A 15 yr old is not an adult. If an emergency happens she is not of legal age to decide on anything.
Too young , can’t drive in emergency etc
you are correct- that’s a long time for them to be alone and with no adult easily accessible it’s not a good plan. On top of you are going to be worried about them and not being present for the birth let’s face it you are going to have enough on your mind with out that added stresser I’m sure she’s a great babysitter but alone for day or 2 not so wonderful. that’s a lot to put on any teenager.
Where is his common sense? She can’t even cook! Why would he even consider leaving her with her for three days! Not being unreasonable at all more like RESPONSIBLE! Your husband clearly doesn’t stay home with the kids!
No 15 year old should watch a child for 3 days. Take her to your aunt’s and leave it at that. You do not need to be stressing while having a baby.
YOU go with your MOTHER INSTINCT!! Tell him,tough,if he can’t accept that. Tell him to GET OVER IT!!!
no. It’s not a trust issue. No 15 yr old should be responsible for a toddler that many days. Ever. God forbid anything were to happen and that teen had to live with that forever. It wouldn’t be fair at all to put her in that position.
I was left alone at 13 for 2 to 3 days with 3 toddlers… often. So i dont see 15 as being too young.
HOWEVER. At 15 I could cook. So since she cant, i dont see how she would be feeding herself and your daughter which is a major concern. Not to mention she probably isnt trained for choking incidents.
If there was an emergency she COULD always call 911. But my biggest concern would be her burning the house down trying to cook.
Your aunt, by far, is the more sensible option.
Nothing against his daughter, she just doesnt seem independent or mature enough to care for a small child for an extended period of time.
Take her to her Aunts. Too much for a 15 year old especially if your in the middle of nowhere.
Pretty sure it’s illegal…but not 100% sure.
I don’t think I would even leave the 15 year old alone for three days. I would have them both stay with an adult.
Stop saying sorry. You are doing what u think is best for your child.
You are not being unreasonable or paranoid! 100% go with your aunt!! I’d never leave my baby for days with a teenager that can’t drive or cook anything. Even if my child was 19 and could drive/cook I still don’t think I’d be able to do it for days, a few hours yes but never days or overnight. My anxiety is way to crazy for that type of situation lol but if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it, you’ll be even more stressed then you need to be. Maybe tell your husband that if your daughter was a few years older you would consider it but shes way to young to be left with a teenager that’s basically a child herself for days. idk about your 15 yr old but mine is a bit dingy, forgetful and unorganized beyond belief, I don’t not believe she’d make it more then a few hours with a 2yr old lol
She is still a child. I would also not leave a 2 year old with a 15 year old for 3 days.
No 15 year old should EVER be left to care for a baby for 3 days. It’s crazy to even have a convo about that🤦♀️
At 15 I could cook clean and take care of babies children. Was often left alone with them BUT I had been cooking since I was 10. I was very responsible and we lived in town to where I could walk to town if I had to. I was also CPR and First Aid trained so totalt different circumstances. With his 15. HELL TO THE NO. Take her to your aunties. Congrats on baby coming!
I wouldn’t be comfortable either. What sense does it make to have a teenager who can’t cook babysit for several days? How the hell is the toddler gonna eat? IMO, the 15 yr old is still too young to be left alone days at a time. Is she not gonna go to school? Does she even want to babysit?
You are looking out for them both. Good parenting
Take her to your aunt’s.
15 yr old shouldn’t be left alone for 3 days especially with a 2yr old … She is 15 … Teenagers so unpredictable u no clue wht she may do … Could she be a perfect Angel yea she could but at 15 I wouldnt be willing take chance for the kids safety
For your own peace of mind put your little girl to your aunts x
I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my 15 year old completely unattended that far out for 3+ days let alone also in charge of a 2 year old
No child should have care of another child. The 15 year old also needs supervision. Trust your gut Lady!
15 year olds this day in time is NOT the same as 15 year olds 30 years ago. I was a nanny at 16 for four kids for 6 days a week from about 3:30 in the afternoon till midnight but I knew how to cook, and I had my own transportation. So…I think you know the right thing to do.
I wouldn’t even let the 15 year old stay home alone for 3 days let alone being responsible for a 2 year old.
Your husband is being unreasonable. Don’t let his daughter watch her
If 15 year old wants to help see if she wants to go to the aunts also
That’s waaay to much responsibility for the 15 year old your husband is been crazy
Won’t she be in school.
Aunt, that’s too much for a 15 y/o.
Will they be home alone for several days? No ma’am. I have a very responsible 15 yr old daughter that can cook but a 15 yr old does not have the mindset to be home alone with a toddler for several days.
If she knew what she was doing like you said she can’t even cook I’d say why not. Hell at her age I was watching up to 6 kids alobe
I don’t think you’re being paranoid at all! It’s totally reasonable for a fifteen year old to watch a child for a few hours. But leaving her to her own devices for several days is too much, it’s gonna be overwhelming. Maybe you could sit down with her and see how she is feeling about it? She may be just as scared as you and having her on your side may be enough to sway dad. But also talk to dad and see why he’s pushing it so hard.
stick with your aunt watching her. Kids are not responsible enough at 15.
i agree i would trust an adult
I wouldn’t be okay with it either. A few hours maybe but never over night or 3 days!
Nope! To much responsibility for a 15yr old. A few hours is fine but 3 days no way.
I was watching my brother during the summer at 15. By 16 it was my little cousins also.
For your mommy piece of mind I would definitely insist on taking her to your aunt’s.
Give her a trial but dont set her up to fail. With a new baby coming she may be worth her weight in gold. Also, we are responsible for teaching our children to be responsible give chear guidelines and expectations My son at 16 looked after his 2 sisters, cooked dinner, put to bed, take yo scholl etc. He is amazing with his own children. Wr sent him on a first aid course Give it a go.
Didnt even need to read this whole thing to let you know its ridiculous and unsafe to leave her with a 15 year old for days
I cant imagine the 15 year old even remotely wanting that kind of responsibility.
I wouldnt even leave my 16 year old alone for 3 days.
Yeah I wouldn’t be leaving a 2yr old with a 15 years for longer then a few hours
To the aunt’s it is!!!
My son is almost 15 and very responsible. I would never ask him to do this. I don’t even think I would want my 19 yr old daughter to do it if she didn’t have a car and lived 20 mins from town like you do. For all the reasons you listed - listen to your gut and put yourself child with your Aunt.
Maybe the 15 year old can go to the aunt’s house along with the toddler as a “helper” to the aunt?
I trust my 15 year old sister to watch both my boys by herself all day and I was babysitting 2 kids most the night when I was that old but I would NEVER allow my sister to watch my boys for 3 days or more! Especially if she can’t even cook, she needs to learn things like that before taking on such a big role!
Is this even a real question? Your husband is dumb for thinking that’s enough supervision for two small children. Like putting a horse in charge of a dog. Next!
I would of said maybe if it was like for a hour and you guys were close and maybe like going out but if your delivering your next child and will be gone for days and a little distance away definitely not! 15 is way to young to watch a 2 year old for days
The aunt gets my recommendation!! Be safe not sorry