My fiance and I have been together for eight years and have two young kids together. Recently I haven’t really felt the same about our relationship like I love him, but I don’t feel like I’m in love with him anymore. The reason I think is right now I feel like I’m stuck because, for about three years, we’ve lived with his parents, and his mom can be controlling, which I found out after me, and my fiance had our first child together. There are so many examples I could give, but one recent one is she talked to my fiance about giving our three-year-old chores and give her allowance for it, but I didn’t know about this until after she told my daughter if she helped clean up her toys that her daddy and pop-pop would give her $5 for allowance. I was pretty upset after that since I had no say in it. She has to decide everything it seems like, or if she doesn’t get her way about something, she can throw a big fit. Another example is she thinks she should decide how we should punish our kids. Like if they do something their not supposed to, she doesn’t believe in yelling, spanking (which I don’t like it either unless it’s absolutely necessary and my fiance is the opposite) and even putting them in timeout until they calm down. Like what else are we supposed to do to teach them right from wrong? I feel like I can’t even parent my own kids. My fiance knows how I feel about all of this, and I feel like he doesn’t care about my feelings since he always tells me to stop talking to him about it because he doesn’t want to hear it. He just doesn’t want to be the middle man, which I understand, but it’s still his mom, so he should be able to talk to her about what’s bothering him or us. Also, another thing that bothers me is after we found out our second daughter was coming, we hurried and found a house, which is an older mobile home that needs lots of fixing up. We moved it next to his parent’s house which I regret, but he said him and his dad could fix it up, but it’s been two years since they’ve said that and there’s been little to no work done on it and its probably going to take up to another year to be livable even if they started working on it now. When I talk to my fiance about this too, he seems to brush it off and basically says that he knows he needs to work on it, but they’ve been busy. I think since he’s living at home he’s just too comfortable and it seems like he wants to live there forever, which I for sure don’t want. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just getting depressed and feel stuck. I guess I’m just venting and wanting opinions on if I should wait it out and see if they start working on the house again like they said they would or just end the relationship now.
It doesn’t necessarily sound like it’s all your fiance’s fault. 1) He and you both need to come to an agreement, together, outside and away from his parents about exactly how you want your children raised. Including what forms of discipline you will use and for what. 2) AFTER you both come to those agreements with each other, you need to sit his parents down and tell them that those are the agreements to be followed. Period. End of discussion. If they don’t like it too damn bad. 3) Get. Out. Of. Their. House. You two are adults now and parents of children. I get everyone needs help sometimes but three years is too long to have kids and still be living at his parents. If they’re unwilling to agree to what you’ve set as parents and respect that, then understand it’s time to move out. Again, period. End of discussion. No sense complaining when you’re staying stuck in the same situation. Do something about it. Best of luck.
Also an old couple once told me they stayed married for 40+ years because they realized that they wouldn’t always feel in love with each other all the time. You will fall in and out sometimes. It’s about working through the out times till you come back into the in times. If you’re committed then the in love times WILL be back. Just matters how bad you want to be faithful and committed. Hope this helps.
Move out of her house.
I’m sorry this is a horrible situation… but I think you need to leave with the kids and give him an ultimatum. He needs to choose you… you and your kids are his family now. You can find alot of good deals on homes now. He needs to buy ya’ll your own place or he needs to fix the mobile home up he bought for ya’ll. If ya’ll stay beside his family he needs to grow a backbone and have a big talk with his parents about boundaries. Good luck
Um sounds like he is way comfortable. and also if he can’t stick up for you then you need to tell the mom when something bothers you, it’s your kid. Is he not working? Why cant you guys just go get an appartment? I would probably give him a deadline or something like “if you dont help make sure we are out of here in 6 months I’ll figure something out on my own for me and this kids” you cant stay somewhere your miserable and if he doesn’t care then hes in no rush to change it. Im sure you guys could have moved somewhere else after that long…
He is definitely too comfortable living at home. So you need to have a serious conversation with him or tell him you’re leaving. And start putting your foot down with Grandma. You are the mother. Not her. If you don’t start saying something, it will get worse. I’m speaking from experience. I had a very similar situation. And family meddling causes major issues and distance in a relationship. An ultimatum definitely needs to be made. You may even have to leave on your own with the kids to prove a point. If he doesn’t follow suit, well then you know where he stands.
I’d set an approximate date to when it should be fixed. My husbands the same way and works to much and does almost absolutely nothing at home. I bitch all the time and it does no good. Give him an ultimatum. Either fix the shit or you leave. Nobody should have to live second best like that. And as far as discipline goes for your children, his parents shouldn’t have any say so and should never put there hands on your children. I don’t believe in spanking never have never will. But that’s between you and your husband to decide. I’d move away from his parents as soon as you can if there causing that much of a problem.
I think the setting chores and paying the kids is nice, I used to love going to my grandparents to help them for coins, I learnt gardening, which I have a passion for now , great memories, but as for discipline no way should they set the terms.
U definitely need to talk to fiancé about moving.
I find it hard my mum and both grandparents are gone , so I would love that family bond again.
However u also need your space and to parent together.
I didnt even read all u said dont need to. His mother. Should not have control over anything. U can not put 2 grown women in a house and think they will get along. U need to move with or without him. Those are your kids. U need your own place. And she needs to back off. Plain and simple. If i had it to do over. Id be gone. The first time she dug in and he defends her. Men are good at that. They create a arrangement that pits wife against mom. And they sit back and watch the fight. If u were smart. U would never. Ever. Live with anyone. It will not work
If it were me he would deside right this minute. Me or mom
I would pack up my children’s belongings and mine and they would be in my car.
Then, I would have a conversation with your baby daddy (because honestly, he is t acting like a fiancé).
Sadly, I believe he is going to allow you to leave. He is very comfortable living with his parents.
If you are not careful, he will take your kids from you, as he has his parents on his side.
I hope you take this seriously!
Take it from experience you need to stand up for yourself and your children . I had the same thing happen with my mother and my oldest daughter does not speak to me because of what my mother did. She was never my daughter and as an adult she thinks I did nothing for her. My mother passed over 10 years ago and we are still dealing with this my father just came to term with what went on but it can not be fixed. My daughter recently eloped and is expecting her first child in Sept. When I found this out I was devastated. Stick up for what you believe is right for you and your children/family.
You need to move!! Get your own place to implement your own rules!!! His mom thinks she got all right to implement cause its her house!!!
And fiancé just doesn’t want to take responsibility if he don’t want to hear it!!! Put his ass in check too…
Secure yourself financially, start looking for place for u and the kids. Once u have enough to sign a lease, tell him u are moving out with the kids, he can either come along or don’t. Make sure he pay his share if he follows. Sometimes men need to ‘push’ so they’ll moved their ass. Judging by how he can delayed fixing the mobile, I don’t think he ever has any plan having his own place with u. Like u said he’s too comfortable to the point he let him mom bully her way. Unless u both maintain his parents house every month, you will have no say at all, and don’t bother talking to his mother, someone who throw a fit if she can’t get her way is no different from terrorist
You’ve got kids why on Earth can’t you stand on your own two feet get child care and get jobs
You need your own home.
Honey if they haven’t worked on your house yet there are no plans to do it anytime soon! It doesn’t sound like your fiancé wants to be a big boy and live on his own! Either except it or get out! Not an easy choice either way! God bless you!
I believe in one queen per castle. You and your man need privacy and ability to make your own decisions, without interference from his mother. It sounds like you have lost respect for him. He’s obviously a momma’s boy and not in a good way.
Move with or without your fiance.He hasn’t married you or cared about you.Move take your kids and go.
id put your foot down with your mother in law. I literally told mine it was none of her business what I did with my kids and she needs to realise her parenting days are done. now we only see them once or twice a year.
Sounds more like you’re fed up with your living situation and not actually your husband
I think after 8 years you need to put your foot down and tell him either get busy on making your future together better, or it’s time to leave and at minimum live somewhere else.
I think it’s time you move out he wants to come with you or nit
Whoever makes the house payment gets to make the rules.
You need to leave her home. It will never change if you don’t
Talk to your boyfriend’s mom and let her know how you feel
Start taking actions or nothing will change. Maybe you are still in love with him but not the lifestyle you currently have. Enforce your goals and if he’s not trying to be a part of them and the work and time it takes to get to them do it yourself take actions since words aren’t getting to him. Maybe look for an alternative home and have a plan and when your ready with your plan talk to him one last time.
I’d find a new place to live ,tell him about it and say are you coming with me and the kids or no…
Start saving up for your own place if you want to move out. Relying on him you’re going to live there forever. And when you do move out, move out with or without him.
You should never stay if you’re not happy. It’s really hard living with parents especially in laws. Your fiancé should be sticking up for you and your children since they are his parents. First you should definitely try to have a serious conversation with your fiancé. Communication is huge in a healthy relationship. If you can’t talk to him you might as well end things. You both deserve to be happy and you don’t have to be together to raise your children and co parent.
Do you have somewhere to live if you decide to leave? It may be time to tell him you will be leaving and if he’s interested in saving the relationship then he should help you find a place that you can live at together…and not next door to his parents! Sell the trailer!
Time for your fiancé to tell his mom to butt out. Nothing will change if only you do it - my husband had to tell my MIL that they were his kids and we were raising them and to keep her comments to herself.
She doesn’t like me and never has so I try not to poke the bear but I’m very clear with my husband when something upsets me and he’s learned to have my back.
Do u know how to do any of the work that’s needing to be done in the trailer? If so go start it and tell him ur not living with his parents y’all a whole life and it’s time to step the heck up
I can tell you from experience you are depressed. The one thing that helped me was to get on antidepressants. They have made me want to get up and actually do something. So I started to take them and have since told my husband things are going to change or I was leaving. Do not stay somewhere where you feel stuck it’s not worth it. If he wants you bad enough he will make it work the way you want or should be. If not start making steps to benefit you and your kids. It helps I promise.
Mommy and daddy take care of it all, why else would he want to leave. Only solution would be to leave with the kids. Tell him unless he’s willing to be a parent and live like with the responsibilities it comes with or you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. Sorry, I see no other choice as youre living in his parents home they will feel too entitled to their opinions and i agree its their house their rules. Thats why you have to move out. He likes that his parents take charge. Its easier for him and it sounds like since he grew up with them he agrees with their parenting. Other option would be to do the work on the trailer yourself or find someone that can, but then again that trailer is next door and I feel you need more space than that from your in laws.
Just because its your in-law’s house, don’t give her the right to tell you how to parent your own children.
Make your hubby get off his behind and get to working on that trailer. Or else you and the kids will get your own place. You need to put your foot down and your husband needs to man up more.
I’d be gone so I could go live my best life… he obviously has different priorities then you do.
I’d start working on the house myself. Ive done this with my husband, for whatever reason he starts to jump in. At that point in the game I’m just done waiting and I’m gonna handle it myself🤷either way the job is getting done. I am a very upfront person, so with all grandparents I established boundaries in the begining. I add gentle reminders from time to time when they push and clearly disagree with my parenting choices 🤷they are my kids, not theirs.
I agree do what you need to do and move out, if he wants to stay home with Mom and Dad let him. You need to be able to parent your children the way you see fit not the way you’re told to.
Put foot down or just leave with the kids
The only way to fix something is to start working on it. Why can’t you?
My grandma always says my house, my rules. You don’t like it? Then move out.
Ultimatum. You move out and tell him he is welcome to come with you. You never have to let someone else overrun you as a parent regardless of who they are. Put your foot down.
You have yourself a mamas boy…good luck …because you will need it . Mother will always have the first and last word. If your working, id try to save and find your own place.
I would be pissed if someone gave my child money to “help” pick up her own toys. They need to be responsible for cleaning up after themselves regardless. And yeah I would move out
If you are not working outside of the home, try to find a job. Take advantage, of they are willing to watch your kiddos. Save money. Enough to move. Then give him an ultimatum. It’s not impossible to do it on your own. I’ve never been more happy than when I divorced my lazy ex. It was hard, but so freeing.
Ultimatums are death to a relationship. You always wanna try to work together rather than using force to try to make them do what you want. Have a conversation…let him know how you feel and let him speak as well. If you cannot come to an agreement and make a plan then tell him you are going to leave.
Move out on your own and see how it goes
Move and put some distance, I love being a grandparent and i dont always agree with my son and daughte in law but I don’t overstep my granddaughter needs to respect her parents and if I interfere she wont if I have a problem I will address both of them but in the end the decision is al2ays there
I’d move out and he can go with you or stay. It’s so hard to live with another family. I would not be able to live with my in-laws. My husband wouldn’t ever move back home either but that’s a whole different story
Tell your fiance he has to make a choice. It is absolutely not okay for him to allow his mom to disrespect you and your parental rights and then get upset that you have issues with it, especially since if you tried to address it with her he’d probably get mad about that. She is being disrespectful and I would tell him either things will change or you will leave, and mean it. The only thing that will convince him at all is if he realizes that you won’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of anymore.
Stop having him speak for u. U need to say something to her honestly or stop complaining about it. I don’t see anything wrong about teaching about chores and an allowance your child needs to learn anyways doesn’t she so why not instill that in her now n teach her about saving the money for something she wants? You are making your husband the middle man cause u can’t bring yourself to say speak up so of course he doesn’t want to hear about it. I think you need to find a job if u don’t have one n move out then since you’re so unhappy tbh
Been in a similar situation. Get out from MIL, even living next door sounds like a bad idea if she is this controlling. And even tho you live together, she doesn’t get to control how you parent. Giving a 3 yr old money to pick up after herself is absurd, this is why kids grow up to be so entitled and shit nowadays lol. Good luck mama
Sounds like he doesnt value you probably due to his mama.
I would tell him he needs to make a choice. Either you and the kids or his mama. You can do it on your own. There are so many resources available to you. What your going thru is mental and emotional abuse. If he doesnt change - pack your bags and go
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You don’t need to end your relationship, move out to your own place and if he wants to be with you he will follow, if he doesn’t you have your answer
Get a job and get on housing if you’re not able to work it out
Honestly I’d tell him to man tf up or ur gonna leave. As for the chore thing. Idc who they are, if anyone gave my daughter money at 3 fucking years old I’d go nuts! That’s WAY to young for a child to have money. My children will have chores at a young age but as a reward they’ll get their fav dinner at the end of the week or a candy bar. They don’t even understand how money works until they’re a lil older. I didn’t even understand the difference between a $1 and a $5 until I was taught in kindergarten.
If you’ve felt a certain way for 3yrs and had multiple attempts to talk and work it out and your needs aren’t at least met halfway then baby it’s time to goooo
You need to live as a family away from all the other family drama before you can decide that it’s time to go. I don’t know many, if any relationships that would stand the test of time living under another family members roof
I’ve had an exact similar experience thankfully without a kid and only 2yrs. But get out now. Get a plan together and go. 3 years living under their roof and not trying to get out is a red flag. My ex wasn’t trying to help me get us out of his parents house and it was BC he didn’t wanna be with me apparently, that’s the only thing I can come up with BC not long after I moved out he did as well. He always came up with an excuse for whatever place me and HIS parents was looking at. His parents was even trying to help me get us our own place. He wasn’t.
Why can’t you stand up to his mom yourself? Don’t make him be the middleman ultimately that’s just immature. You are the parent just as much as he is of your children and there’s no reason that you can’t stick up for yourself as well. The whole issue with the house would piss me off though. I would give him a time limit and tell him if it’s not done in that amount of time then you and the kids are leaving because you’re not going to live with his parents for forever.
Your a different woman than you where eight years ago, you have grown up, you are now a mother, I met my first husband at 14 I didn’t feel the same way 13 years later, I had grown up and became a mum. It’s not that scary, check if your depressed if you are feeling down but try not to worry in eight years you won’t be the same person you are now, good luck xx living with his mum maybe he has not grown up but no blame to anyone your only growing up.
The way me and my fiance look at it is his family his decision but we will talk about it and vise versa if he can’t man up to his mom than you shouldn’t be with him
Living with grandparents is hard because they’re trying to grandparent the child while you’re trying to parent. Move out either with him or without him but it’ll be so much better for your headspace.
8 yrs is a long time to be engaged. Living with family is hard if there aren’t any boundaries. If you’re willing to save the relationship then moving out is a must asap
Hugs. In laws are amazing at the best of times. I commend you. I couldn’t do it. Even with my own parents. Hugs. You know in your heart. Hugs
I understand where you are coming from I used to live with my ex at one of his parents homes that they owned right across the street from theirs and girl omg is was a nightmare. His mom and sister would always be coming over, had a key so would just come in whenever they wanted, I had no say in anything and was always correcting me about how I was raising or discipling our daughter. I lived there for three years allnd always in an argument with them over something. I finally left and my ex stayed behind with his mama. I couldn’t take it anymore he was a big time Mama’s boy and never would tell her anything. I myself would just leave with my kids and tell him if he wants to come he can if not then that it’s over that you can’t take it anymore. I gurantee of the situation was reversed he would feel uncomfortable living with your parents.
Find a place to rent. I understand money might be an issue, but is the way that your kids are raised really worse than figuring out rent? Find a place to rent. Present it to your fiancé. Say “I want to move”. If he tries to talk you out of it, explain that you are depressed because you probably really are, and pretty much that you can’t be a mom to your own kids. If he still argues, just ask him what is his solution? Obviously he is willing to compromise with his mom, but not with you. Do you want to be with someone that chooses his mom over you? 3 years is too long to live with your parents when kids are involved. Sometimes it might work but more often then not it causes issues. I wouldn’t end the relationship if you really love him and want to be with him, but have an honest conversation and tell him that you will leave with the kids (obviously not take them away forever) because you aren’t happy anymore and if he’s not willing to help fix the issues, then why do you have to stay?
First please get on some type of birth control. You are trapping yourself by continuing to have children with a man who can’t leave his own parents home. Talk to him. If he is refusing to grown up and move out then start working on getting yourself and kids out. Also if he has been with you 8 years without marrying you then he is probably never going to do anything without you begging and pleading. It’s hurtful to hear but if he really wanted to marry you and move out on his own with you and your children he would. Instead it sounds like he is a lazy man who would rather stay at home with mommy than go out and be an adult.
Just go Mama! It will be a long road, but just go, you deserve happiness and we only get ONE life to live. Your babies will thrive better in the long run if YOU are happy! Blessed be.
Did you all read the whole thing, they did purchase a place to live but her fiancé isnt fixing it up like he said he would… you cant judge if you all didn’t read
Why are you all living with his parents…next you are not married and are having another child…My Pastor told my cousin her kids father would never marry her because she gave him everything without requirements…you have done the same thing…Steve Harvey said it you have to raise your standards and require him to find his family a better home and not next to his parents…good luck …
You made a family under her roof and expect her not to try to help you guys. With gratitude and grace I would pack me and my kids up and get some independence without anyones help. Sounds to me the dad wont come along since making his own home next door is too hard.
I really think you are unhappy. WHO WOULDNT BE. I think the only thing grown up about the father of your children is that he fathered children. He is obviously a mamas boy. Just the way he and his mama like it. And his commitment is to her and not you. Kick your feet out from under her table and take charge of your own children. You have one miserable life. I would bail. FAST
Talk to your mother in law yourself. These are your kids and you need to set boundaries. As for your SO you need to have a serious talk when you’re both calm and tell him you’ve had enough. It’s time to get it together, because you won’t live with his parents forever. So he either needs to start fixing the MH or find you guys another place to live.
If he will have a conversation about it,which it seems like he won’t,try once more. If he doesn’t want to,theres no reason you and your kids should be in that environment. He definitely sounds as though he’s perfectly happy to just stay with mommy and daddy
You have both a MIL and bf issue. He allows it. Get a job do what ever you can and move out. If he wants to stay with mommy dearest believe him. File for custody. Your a grown up and have issues. Stop worrying about your relationship and do better for your kids
Waiting will only make you more depressed…make a decision for yourself. Get up and leave if he wants to follow let him. I feel like if you see him try and be your man and just be the man you’ll feel differently towards everything.
It’s hard when they dont man up you see them differently. It’s not that you dont love him you just dont love what hes doesnt do for your family. And that is big because that is the father of your kids and the person you rely on help make decisions for your family.
And dont move into that house that needs work unless you have money to do a couple repairs to make it liveable. And if you do keep records of everything.
You definitely need a place of your own to build the Family that you want. It sounds like you’re trying to be controlling over the things you can control because you feel like she is controlling every other aspect. I believe where there was once love, love can be found again. But you need to create the circumstances which allow you to grow and allow your relationship to grow without others hindering it. Sounds like you need change. I’ve lived with my mother-in-law on and off for 15 years and I have nothing but a lot of respect for her and I I finally figured out that I just need my own space for a healthy relationship with my partner my children and even my mother-in-law.
I would just move into my own place with my kids and tell my fiance he should live with us too , but of course that’s your choice hun! Lol…no seriously I know I would cause that’s exactly what I did.
While I understand your problems with your mil to be, you need to talk to your fiancé. And relationships have an ebb and flow. You aren’t going to feel in love the whole time. Love isn’t perfect all the time. That’s why people don’t stay in relationships. They think the love is gone because it isn’t puppy love anymore. If you choose your partner everyday you’ll be happier.
I would have an open discussion with him about everything you’re feeling. And if he doesn’t want to move or change things then I guess you have your answer. I mean you can listen to all of our opinions all day long but in the end we’re not the ones who have to live with the decision. I would take some time out and really consider every option. I hope you find the right answer for you in the end
He’s been your fiancee for 8 years? Honey, he is not planning to marry you and you obviously are tired of him. Take the babies and get out on your own. The more you allow yourself to be treated in this manner the more you are teaching them how to treat you. Time to say bye
Same situation, except my in laws live with me. You guys need to get away from living with them as soon as possible. It wont change, you will get resentful and he will start to resent you for complaining about his parents. Its just not natural to live with your in laws especially if you have kids, and I started noticing behavior problems with my son because of the things they were doing.
Unfortunately this is the things you have to put up with when you’re living under someone else’s roof… I don’t quite understand why y’all stayed this long…The only way you can claim your independence is by working and saving your money so you can move out,him or his mother will never respect your feelings because they know you depend on them
He’s a mommas boy and will never change. I’d take the kids and move out. Tell him you will no longer live in her house waiting for the other house to be live able in and that you will not be told how to parent your children by his mother. It’s unacceptable behavior by her and that he allows it to happen and won’t step in to stand up for you and the family and that speaks volumes.
8 year engagement. Living with parents for 3
Something is wrong on so many levels
Sounds like both of you need to grow up anf get out in the world
If you think he will change his mind and want to move out, he won’t. If he wanted to be on his own, he would have made some kind of move by now. As far as his mom goes, he sees no wrong with it. If he did, he would speak to her about it. It’s really simple but being in love with the person tends to cloud our judgement.
It’s his parents house and you live there. Be a big girl and move out or deal with it and stop complaining. Clearly he’s not going to fix your house until he realizes you’re serious. And if he doesn’t then you’re better off.
Just have an open,honest conversation with your mother n law. Resentment builds quickly when things are not talked and sorted out. Ask her to listen to you, then ask her how she feels about this. You are the Mom. A Grandmother is a wonderful person to have in your daughters lives but she is not the parent.
Children should not have two sets of parents unless it is a blended family situation. You need to try and figure a way to move out on your own with or with out your husband. You need to raise your family in your own home, especially if you don’t want other people interfering with your child rearing. There can’t be two hens in the hen house. I’m sorry, I know it is so hard.
I think someone needs to put there foot down on how your kids should be raised and if your fiance won’t stand up to his mom then I think that you should speak up if it advice fine take it into consideration but dont let the parents tell you how to raise your own children and if they get mad then it is to bad you have a say whither you are living in their home or not your fiance needs to grow some balls sorry for being blunt but that how it has to be now a days and if they dont like then I think it’s time for you and your kids to find a new place to live if they can’t respect your wishes and if you or your fiance doesn’t put your foot down now and when you move into your own place they will still try to control everything that you do
Honestly you need to have a serious conversation with him. Let him know you dont want to live at his parents and you’re uncomfortable. Also talk to him about his parents raising your kids, let him know exactly how you feel. If he brushes you off or doesnt seem serious about leaving his parents house then get the heck out if there
Tell him you’re ready to move out, period. 2 kids and engaged but don’t have a place to live after three years with his parents…?
Tell him he needs to take care of his family and stop mooching off of his parents. That’s no way to live, you’re losing respect for him that is why you are feeling the way you are feeling while being miserable yourself
Sweetheart you still love him. But after eight years he hasn’t married you. He receives certain things from his mother like fix him his favorite food wash his clothes,built in babysitter,get money when he needs it.why should be marry you are there for one thing and you no what I’m talking about I tell you this because I lived this same nightmare for thirty years I would look into the mirror an ask myself do you love yourself because if you do then you need to do something about it.you are not going to leave now because your thoughts are on raising your children with there father.an it’s easy to say leave but you will only do it when you say that you love yourself an not because someone told you that’s what they would do.listen to no one make your own mind up continue to be blessed
I know it’s easy for some one to say let go of the relationship. When they not in it. But also true that what u allow will continue… Firstly find yourself a job if u not working so u. An have financial freedom it’s not easy raising 2kids on ur own. Or get some one other then him and his dad to fix the place u want to move in at. Woman always takes the lead cause men will be comfortable living any where. Good luck
Just leave. If he loves you and wants to be a family he will follow, if not, then you have your answer. Too often men (boys) are babied by mommy and if they can stay under her thumb they will. Sounds like it’s time for him to grow up and be a husband and father.