I think the first thing you need to do is save up for your own place. Being adults with children and living with a parent will be hell, I don’t care what anyone says. I feel like if you and your family had your own home, things would be way different
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$5 for picking up toys is ridiculous. And sounds like you might be happier without him. But still co parent kindly.
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My now husband was comfortable living at home with his family as well. And he is 6 years older than me and has kids from his first marriage.
I could handle having no control over my life anymore and I moved my son and I out. We didn’t exactly split up. I just couldn’t live with his family anymore. I was sick of it. That was 5 years ago now. And we have recently bought a house and I still love his family. I always loved his family. But we had kids and there were few boundaries when people live in close quarters like that.
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Put ya big pants on and get your own place. If you live under their roof of course they’re gonna be in your business. Move out of their house and off their land as well. I bet your problems will go away
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Why is your fiance such a mammas boy. And why did you settle for a mammas boy. He needs to man up, do things on his own, quit depending on “help” and you need to grow up to.
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U r better than me. There is no way that I would have not been preventing pregnancy in yall situation. Having more kids would have prolonged our stay.
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Relationships are hard work. And they are never smooth sailing. Love is a choice. A choice u get to make fresh with each NEW day. Dont concentrate on yesterday your not there anymore… choose to start a fresh each day and choose to love your man. Dont put too much expectations on your relationship and u will be disappointed less… you may not LIKE your man some days but I’m sure you LOVE him.
Dont let other pressures take a toll on your relationship… sounds like you just need your own space with your little family.
If a man is man enough to have babies with someone he needs to honour his responsibilities and grow up man up and cut ties from mummy’s skirt and be the leader and put HIS own family first ( being his lady and his children)
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I moved in with my mother temporarily when I first moved to her town. I was there two weeks and moved. Just move out. I don’t understand why you would stay so long and I don’t understand why you would have another child with him when you are still living with his parents.
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Yeah. I Would fall out of love with a man who chose his mother instead of me too. its ultimatum time… give him a specific time frame of when the mobile home is to be completed and if its not. You leave with the kids.
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From someone who has a controlling, overbearing mother in law, they will ruin everything if you let them! Tell him honestly you just can’t stand living there any longer and want your own place. I think you should give it a chance with the 2 of you living on your own before you decide that it’s time to end it, maybe even try couples counseling. I’m very happily married, have been together for almost 16 years married 12, but I can guarantee you that after living 2 weeks in his mother’s house we would be separated. She just puts that big of a strain on our relationship! He used to not see why I felt that way, but we spent some time in marriage counseling and that helped! Now we can communicate much better and he has actually started to step in and stand up to her on issues for me instead of making me do it myself!
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Your biggest problem is living with his family. My husband and I had to sacrifice and start small. Apartment, trailer then house. We where broke but do able. Well worth it. We worked opposite shifts to cut child care. Turns out I love 3rd shift. Empty nester now kids are awesome adults, hubby and I are doing amazing.
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If he is your fiancé he should listen to what you have to say like it or not. To me it sounds like you need to reconsider the relationship. Tell him the two of you need to talk, just you and see what happens. If he balks he is to much of a mamas boy and he won’t change. You should always have a say when it comes to your kids. I live with my parents and it just me and my kids with them and even they know the boundaries and won’t do anything I ask them not to do. Good luck, if you need to talk more feel free to message me
I do think you both need a place of your own. But as love goes it changes all the time think of your children, the mil may not see that you have issues , I love my mil but I could never live with her. Your partner needs to get you a place together so that you both build a life with you together not an add on to his family. I’m a mother in law I could not live with my daughters in-law. That does not mean I don’t love them I do but we all do things different and we all need space and time to make a family. Your mil would rather have you close than not see her grandchildren. So be strong and make it clear with your partner.
Here is the main Point…He is her Fiance’…not her Husband. If these are issues unmarried, they will only increase being Married. He has become very comfortable at home. He also does not care about her feelings. Fiance’ does not value her, so his mom does not either. Your Womanly Instinct Is giving you your answer, listen to it.
I would tell him you want your own place and if he cannot pull himself away from him mom then bye bye.
You deserve your own home not someone else’s…
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From your side it seems stuck, and maybe he is too. Sometimes in a comfortable situation for someone they fall into a routine that will only be changed once it’s behind them. My best advice though is do not ask for advice from a bunch of strangers because they don’t know his side, just what they read of yours. I’m not calling you a liar, but perspective needs to be considered as well. Do whatever you feel is right for you, your partner and your kids. The only two people who should be in your relationship is the two of you weather together or separate and co-parenting. The relationship I would also work on is with your husbands mother, enough to have an adult conversation with her about your expectations as the children’s mother and hers of you living in her home. You can not fix your problems with her by making her son the mediator, or fix your problems with him by making him pick sides. He has to come to standing behind you as a parent all on his own.
You should end it things won’t change…sounds like he has no interest in what you have to say
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Please make sure you have some place to take you and your kids and have a plan because once you end that relationship you better believe grandma is paying for dad to get full custody because those are HER kids.
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- Is the situation beneficial for you ? Are your kids learning good things ? Are they respecting you ?
- Living with them are you saving money for your future ?
- Doesn’t matter if he is getting comfortable living their but how’s that affecting your relationship with him ? Does he still love and care for you ?
- How’s it affecting your mental health ?
- Is your mother in law a person to have understandable convo with and come up with better strategy to make her realize it makes you feel ? Is she considerate and generous
*** Sit and answer these questions for yourself **
If pros outruns cons stay if not leave
Good luck !
I was in the Sam exact relationship as u , I got tired if it grabbed my kids and went to my sisters house never looked back , I struggled for years but it was worth it bcs I now I can do anything g for my kids , I became very independent and I’m in the best years of my life right now !
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Try communicating this to him like an adult with the preface of “if we do not have this conversation and make a plan forward I will take the kids and figure out a new plan”.
Sounds like this behavior is no where near new so it’s up to you to either deal with it or change what you can. I would def start counseling either way but especially If you decide to continue to deal with it as is
Maybe she should have asked you first if the child can do chores but my grandchild has chores ,she cleans up toys in lounge before she goes to bed and put place mats on table for tea and that started when she was three,and she loves getting her money at the end of week
Thank goodness I’m not an interfering MIL. I have 5 adult kids, it’s their life, if they screw it up it’s on them lol. Seriously though, I don’t interfere but they all know they have a place to come to If ever needed, but they will help out, keep a job, take care of their own kids, I love 
my grandkids but I’m not their parent. We do baby sit sometimes but sometimes is key. 8 years, 2 kids later, and still no ring, my bet it’ll never happen
Tell him you want your own safe place with him and the kids in a certain time frame say 30 days. If he doesn’t take it seriously Take your kids and go. If he loves you he will follow and know you can’t live with his parents anymore.
It sounds like you do love him, but your fiancée is allowing a strain between the two of you due to his mother. You shouldn’t have to be going through any of this and he needs to understand that he is marrying YOU. Not his mother. Maybe some pre martial counseling will do. If you are in love with him and you bolt, that’s going to hurt like hell. But if he is refusing to work on the relationship, then maybe your better off without him. You want your kids to be happy but you need to be happy as well. But you seriously need to find a place of your own. Away from his mother.
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It sounds like you have a lot on tour plate right now. How about relationship therapy? This gives you an opportunity to express your feelings to someone unbias. It sounds like you and your partner don’t have any issues other tha. Your living situation etc. Another advice is to work and save your money and make a move when you can if thi ge don’t improve. He is getting comfortable; which is not a good idea. Lots of communication when there are no specific incidents is also helpful.
Well if your gonna stay in the parents house for 3 years than she should have some say since you two can’t get a life of your own and move out its her house if you don’t want her advice than move out live your own life common sense
That’s a Mama’s boy for you, I tried for 10 years with my ex husband and I also waited but in the end it didn’t work out anyways and I have the kids cause he just didn’t care, always running to his parents for everything
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Get an apartment or some sort of rental until the house is fixed up. If he doesn’t want to, you and the kids move out but don’t end the relationship unless that’s what your heart says to do. But you need to be able to show your kids you and your husband are in charge and not the grandparents. If your husband/fiance doesn’t want to rent for now then like I said you and your kids go until the matter is settled
Yall need to grow up and move out…you can’t raise 3 kids under grandparents roof. Not ok
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Being in love with someone is a choice. You dont feel it. You choose it.
I would move out and then if you feel you want to you can work on your relationship without his parents getting involved. If your not happy you will need to be the one to make changes to fix that. I’m sure his mother means well but it’s far from being an ideal situation for any of you!
You need to get your own place and if your not in a position you need to have goals to start working towards removing yourself from all that 8 yrs fiancee living with his mom…Goals!!!
You should have have your own place with your family a long time ago!!!
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I think you guys should start by moving out and living on your own.
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Nope. I would straight tell him either listen to me & how I feel & make my feelings valid. Or the kids & I are leaving. I would actually tell him to tell her mom to loosen her bra straps a little & let him breathe , or tell him to grow a set of balls & a backbone. & yes I had to tell my husband this too. He is a mama’s boy. It took me leaving for two weeks. Before he realized I was serious that I would not come back . & if it went back to the way it was. I would leave for good.
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Sounds like you have talked this to death with him … giving ultimatums don’t work with anyone especially momma boys . If you are asking fb then you know what you heart says,so get your mind in the same time line is what you need to do , you will know when it’s time . Like many have said square your finances up and make sure you have support ready and custody business together though if you leave if not then wait until another year or wait til Covid is over right now even the best couples are having issues and the financial times and economy isn’t great for anyone and stress for all is getting to everyone ! Weigh the benefits of being there versus the off sets and what you have the ability to control .
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Get the hell out and take your babies with you. A very poor arrangement b no plans for a marriage or him supporting his family. He is dead meat.
I agree, YOU need to tt her, bc obviously, he doesn’t have the balls to.(remember, this is HER house, so her rules). Coming from experience, you need to tell him that you are a family and if he can’t even leave his parents house or raise your kids together, obvious you guys are not meant to parent together, move ouy
Nope, don’t wait. It will literally never change. No more babies, crack down, hide your money, and move out. And take the kids with you or that MIL will take your babies from you. I’ve lived it. Don’t make the mistakes I did. Get out ASAP.
I hate to say this but. Leave. Sometimes it opens their eyes and they get some act right sometimes they don’t care. Either way you will know where you stand with him. I can’t complain about my mother in law to my husband but I don’t live with her either. She stayed with us for a short time helping us with our grandson and my husband still didn’t want to hear anything about his mom. I finally had a fit like a child and he woke up. We finally came to a mutual understanding and things got better. He did try to make me feel bad but at that point I didn’t care I’m going to be comfortable in my own home!
Can you afford to rent yourself a small place away from where you are now? Perhaps when he sees you ‘adulting’ he’ll choose to join you. Then it might become clearer if it’s your feelings for him or it’s you MIL that’s making you feel this way. Best of luck.
Have you tried talking to her about it? Why does he have to be the middle man? I don’t know your whole situation, but have you tried putting in effort to fix up the mobile home or are you just expecting him to do it?
The example you used of the chores thing, I dont see what the big deal is. That’s great someone wants to teach your kid responsibility. In regards to disciplining, it sounds like you’ve let his mom walk all over you and that’s why she feels entitled to make those decisions.
Stop being a doormat.
Get out. If he hasn’t made any effort to address your concerns, and especially with him blowing your worries off by now, he won’t. He hasn’t cut the cord between him and his mother and it’s highly unlikely that he will. Good luck to you.
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Make it clear you need your own home or find one without him
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You need your own place w your fiance . right now what I are feeling maybe just do to the stress of his mom
Well i hate to say it he isn’t going anywere until you give him a reason tooo. My advice to you. I would look this man in the eye and say we get married and move out or you keep staying here with ur parent me and the kids will leave. Also to your mother in law. Face to face dont talk to ur fiance bc he hasn’t got the balls to tell her. these are my children your opinion I will take into to thought but if any one is going raise them and control them it will be me. You have over step your boundaries and I would appreciate if you would back off. And another thing. If you are done you are done to love someone comes deep with in and things such as this can kill that love. So it is up to you to stand up for your self bc he sure isn’t going do it.
Get out!!! This man doesn’t want to grow up. And he has zero respect for you if he won’t support your decisions with YOUR children. Get on your feet and get outta there.
Give him a choice you move out with the kids and if he chooses to live with you GREAT but if he doesnt then it was never meant to be.Bad move living with in laws
Time to two card… couples therapy or you leave him…set deadlines…he needs to stick up for you now because it won’t change if you marry him
This sounds not like a healthy inviroment for anyone. You, the fiance, and the in laws need to sit down and have an intervention family talk. Also you and your fiance need to set down just the two of you and talk. I know this can be a lot to handle on your own, maybe think about therapy for everyone to help in this dynamic of dysfunction. Boundaries need to take place, time lines set on the fix up on the home, take back your role in your child’s life, take back your role in your relationship. The fiance needs to separate from his parents in a healthier way. His dependence on his parents is not healthy at all. He is acting like a lil boy. He needs to step up and be the man in his own family household. You and your fiance are the role models for your children. You show them how to have relationships with others including love life. You are raising children to be adults.
Also maybe getting the book called The 5 love languages. Take the test in the book. It can help each and everyone to understand what there love needs are. Also get the book called Please understand me II, take the test and it will help everyone to understand their personality and traits. I find these books helpful to open up the door to understanding a person with more knowledge on how to deal with them in a healthier, calm understanding. In the end you have to trust your gut and you have to make the decision. I hope you find a healthy and happy decision and the one you can stand by. Be strong mama, you got this!
I wouldn’t say anything, pack up the kids and leave to my parents house or somewhere without him and tell him, its your family or your mother! I would be DAMNED to put up with anybody else’s BS other then my own mother’s! And even theb, I WOULDN’T! But you do you!
I know in other countries families can cohabitate peacefully, but in America with Americans it doesn’t work. I don’t know why if it’s psychology or what, but you have to move out of his parents house and stop creating any additional expenses for yourself so if you want out you aren’t stuck!
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I wouldn’t be able to live with mine or my husband’s parents. It is hard to live with anyone, in their home. I would have a serious talk with your fiancé. He needs to stand up for you and respect your thoughts, feelings and opinions. If he doesn’t now, what makes you think he will when y’all get married?? As far as the 3 year old doing chores for allowance. She is three, she doesn’t need to learn she will get paid for doing things that are HER responsibility. That is just my opinion. Hope things work out for y’all.
Well there’s not much attractive about him for quite some time now. You’re seeing who he really is. Now you have to decide if that’s really the way you want to spend the rest of your life.
Sell the mobile home, find an apartment or cheap house and give him the option to move with you, if he doesn’t opt for that then he’s become comfortable and it’s time to leave mama’s boy alone. Grandparents have no right interfering with how the parents do things unless it harms the children.
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You need to tell him
We ARE having this conversation. There are issues that need to be resolved & we can make decisions & resolve them together or I can do it myself.
If he cant be an adult & have a conversation then just make the choice you know you need to make for yourself and your kids.
If you dont have a job, Get one. Dont allow yourself to be Stuck!! Only YOU can change your Path.
I will tell you that living there sounds toxic. Personally I would save $$ to get your own place(not the mobile home next door that isnt getting fixed… a place AWAY from the situation) & tell him that you all need to move out of his mother’s house within -------- timeframe. If he refuses and You cant take it then go without him if that’s what you need.
I will also tell you that if you allow other people to control how you parent you will STRONGLY REGRET it later.
Allowing Anyone to constantly
Undermine or contradict you as a mother is very damaging to your relationship with your kids, they will learn to ignore you and not take you seriously. I KNOW I did this, I allowed my own mother and my exhusband to undermine me and I still have trouble sometimes because of it!
You are a parent and so is he, make the decisions together and leave everyone else out of the mix…
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It’s his responsibility to say something to his mom. They are your kids and you should be the ones to raise them. In other words, you & your fiancé should decide how to discipline, feed, clothe ect. I bet that you do still love him. You’re not living his actions. I don’t blame you!
There can not be two roosters, nor two head hens, in one house. Period. You are grown, you have children. I would live in housing authority, before I lived with my husband’s mother, and we did. If he is unwilling to move forward with his life, then you must. Sometimes, you have to make the hard choices, and that sometimes means, walking away when you have out grown a situation.
Yeah the one thing you don’t want is more kids with a guy that is still holding on to Mommys apron strings! Clearly his parents are helping you out by letting you live there but if your man can’t support you and his kids now just wait it only gets harder!
Don’t have any more kids with this guy. Save up and move out. He’s staying put. You’ll be at the mother’s mercy as long as you live there. This is a prime example why marriage and a home with solid financial foundation should come before children. I wish you the best of luck.
8 yrs together and not married? Why is that?
Also its ok for her to give lil chores and money
Really not that big of a deal
U technically are in her home
When u move out or decide that he wont nut up
Bc seriously he has the best of both worlds
Momma and wifey
Why would he want to leave?
You need to either higher ur expectations and mean it
Or leave with the kids
Probably should move into your own home, not living with in-laws. It’s their home so they feel as though you should go by their rules. My daughter and her husband came back with kids. It lasted for 6 months. Find an apartment, a trailer, a house…anything.
I’m concerned that its been 3yrs & your still living with them. I know its expensive to have your own place but after 3yrs you should have plenty saved up to pay 1stmonths rent and deposits. Getting out of their house is the easiest fix for the issue… even if its just you and the kids. Also talk to the inlaes yourself. Set boundaries.
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I didnt live with my sons parents, but we live across the street, likening Everybodyloves Raymond. It was pretty similar. We had other issues that lead to me leaving, but that mess started and ended the domino effect.
First you need to get on birth control. Then quit asking his mom for advice. Then parent the why you and your husband agree to. Then sale the traylior and move away from his mama.
I honestly would get my kids and have the boyfriend make a decision. Stay or go. As parents we have enough with trying to navigate the task of parenting without someone butting in. As i see it, grandmas gotta stay out of any decision that belongs to you both. Many grandparents think its their child to rear…Nope…not even close. Best of luck to you.
Unacceptable. I suggest speaking to a couples therapiest to help with communication.
If that’s not an option you guys need to move out so you can establish more defined boundaries. It’s just my opinion based on what I’ve experienced in the past but your mother-in-law is over stepping and I bet your husband sees it. It’s difficult for him to say anything because you guys are living at their house. He needs to step up and at the minimum make sure you’re included and part of the discussion when it comes to how you raise your children. It’s difficult to set clear and concise boundaries with his mother in this situation.
You need to have a serious conversation with him and tell him that you need him to hear you or this isn’t going to work. Give him and ultimatum. He fixes the other place so you guys can move out or you’re leaving. He at least needs to be making strides toward getting you guys moved out.
As far as his mom goes you need to talk to her yourself. You can expect him to middle man that conversation for you. You’re both adults and you need to stand up for yourself and demand that respect as those babies momma.
Go and find some where else to live. Take the kids with you. Tell him you need some peace and your own home you can put your own things in like your children. His choice to eaither step up or step out. If you dont have a job get one. Get a reliable friend to babysit. It not easy but that how you do it.
Other wize you put up with it and it not gonna get better. You married a momma boy.
I would have two separate conversations first one with your fiance, let him know how you feel and where you stand. If things don’t change or he doesn’t start backing you up and making you and your daughter a priority then you have to leave and don’t look back at your decision.
He needs to know that just because his mom gives you advice on how to raise your kid, it doesn’t mean you have to do it.
She doe not need to put her nose were it doesn’t belong this is your kid she raised hers.
You need to have a conversation with her that your not okay with how she’s treating you and trying to raise your child but your not included in Amy conversation or descion, this is your kid not hers and let her know straight up if she doesn’t butt out you will take your child and leave…
Or make things work with him , talk to him, communicate, don’t let him just brush it off tell him exactly how you feel and that he needs to change or her won’t like your descion
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It ain’t your roof lol move out and you can parent your kids how you want. It sounds like you don’t have a job time to get one and spread them wings and move out.
Get a job, save your money, get a place of your own for you & kiddos & get out! You have one life. Make it better for all three of you!
Either boss up and get you and the kids your own place or deal with it. Those are pretty much the options you have. No way would I have my family living with other people, family or not.
I think whether your fiancé likes it or not it’s a discussion you have to have I think you need to sit him down and have an honest conversation about where this is all going I feel like it’s a deal breaker for you so you need to communicate to him that if things don’t change you will be ending the relationship I would explain you are very grateful for all the help his parents have provided but that it is time now for you two and the children to have tour own space and home and that you either need to get the house finished and get married and live your life together independently or it’s over and you and the kids will be moving out
Give him a about 3 months but not too long of a wait put your foot down and tell him if you guys don’t move out is over. He is comfortable or he will be stepping up. I think you still love him is that now your resenting him for not protecting your little family but if you can fight for your family try and be smart about it.
Ok since he won’t talk to his mom you need to do it. And as for not fixing the home you both agreed on start calling around and getting estimates on what needs to be fixed and how much and long it will take. If that doesn’t get him motivated and nothing resolved with mom time to move out on your own.
You two need to step up as adults and move out on your own.
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Honestly …make clear you need your own home . you are both adults living with mommy aint going to change unless you make change . only advice i can give is say its ur parents turn to play mommy to ya both . or grown a pair and move out. With ur kids . not married you have legal custody . time to grown up
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Get a job, find a new house that YOU can afford to pay rent on, move out, if he lives you he will follow, if he doesn’t you have your answer, get a lawyer to start child support posthaste. Be calm and dont say anything hurtful to anyone. Get a checking account in your name. Join a support group for single parents as YOU will need it. Check your state resources for daycare, foodstamps, etc. One last thing join a church if you are not going, again a church family will help. Good luck
3 years under their roof should have saved you guys a lot of money, and you should be able to move out on your own! I would take the kids and go. Tell him you’re going to moms while you’re looking for an apartment. Nothing puts fire under a mans ass than threatening to leave. He’s too comfortable. Time to make him uncomfortable. Believe me changing your living situation will make all the difference in the world in your relationship
In my opinion you should have a serious conversation with him. If you don’t have feeling for him, HE deserves to know and you two should proceed from there. Obviously something is there if you’ve had his children and accepted his marriage proposal. Don’t be so eager to throw someone away because of a temporary situation. His mother may mean well, some people can’t help themselves. He doesn’t want to be in the middle of you and his mother because he loves you BOTH. Maybe if you make it about your family needing their own space and you two needing to be the parents to your children, and less about his mother, it might be easier for him to understand. I went through something similar and my guy only heard “I hate your mom” even though I didn’t hate his mom. When I complained about her, he didn’t hear my issues, just that I didn’t like her. Nobody wants to hear that about their mom, even if they know how she can be…
That is messed up - move on and believe in yourself. He is their dad and that won’t change - they (in laws) probably won’t.
My husband and kids are currently living with my mom, its a temporary thing. You bet your rear if things started changing between my husband and I wed get the bottom of it and if that meant moving even though the reason were here is to save money to build our house on land we recently purchased.
Give him a time frame if no change your life will always be miserable move on!
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Oh boy. Thats a hard one. You are living with his parents, so its hard to really stand up to them. I mean, are you paying rent? Do they watch the kids? Etc…
That being said, it sounds like your fiance doesnt really want to move. I mean, if he isnt paying rent, why would he move. Mommy can take care of it all. He probably realizes that if he makes a stink , he could lose all that.
You HAVE to tell him that under no uncertain terms, he has a deadline to get you out of the house. Period. If he doesnt want to take you seriously, prove it, and move out.
My advise would be to move and get your own place with or without your fiance before making a decision about ending your relationship. You need to look for a place and possible do all the leg work and tell him he needs to get on board with. Moving out or you and the kids will be going without him. If money is the issue check with social services in your area for help and guidance to get on your feet.
I wouldn’t wait it out its been plenty of time id say things change now or you think bout getting your own place and as for the mother stand up to her your a grown women and they are YOUR kids she needs to let you raise your kids period
I would be making a plan to move… unfortunately your at their mercy… their house their rules
Your fiance is just another one of your children.put your big girl pants on get a job and move out and forward.i was weaker than anyone on the planet but once I put my big girl pants on I moved forward and never looked back
Give him a date to have the trailer fixed. Project manage the trailer getting fix up. Because you can run your home until you have one. MILs can be a piece of work that may not change. But your living situation can and it’s up to you to get him moving or move out.
You should have a talk with your fiance’s mom and tell her those are your children and you appreciate her wanting to help you but in the end you and your fiance are the ones who make the final decisions not her. Then you need to tell your fiance to get up off his butt and fix your home or you are going to leave him and take the kids.
Moving out may not be an option because of money. Also do you really want to remove your girls from their dad
Time to take the kids, get a parenting plan that favors strictly you (to keep her out of their lives), and a no contact and restraining order against his mother. If you don’t leave now, you are signing yourself and your kids up for a lifetime of abuse at his hands and his mother’s.
Get yourself a job and get out. You can make it and he will have to pay child support.
Love is a doing word, stop relying on the feeling, you have chosen to start a family so now you have a responsibility to make it work, have you have any couples counselling?
If We simply walk away because it no longer feels good , we raise a generation of kids that believes giving up is easier
I’d be out of there with my kids so quick. He needs to grow up
Sounds like its time to move on. Not sure what all needs to be fix in your home if its livable . Maybe move into it and make repairs as you can. Hopefully he will follow. If not except it and mov we on. After 8 years and still not married I would wonder why and if he really cared.
I’d find a place and say you abd the kids are moving with or without him. No way should he have his family living with his parents for 8 yrs.
If you want to parent your own children then get your own place . Your place your rules. Same as the mother in law. Her place her rules.