Time for your own place, apartment trailer yurt anything for the four of you, his parents will stay at their home.
Don’t be afraid to tell them all how you feel. Your opinion matters in this as well. Been there
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If you think you can make it out there with two children go ahead and leave but if you think you can’t save up enough money so you can leave one day it’s hard out there
Tell him exactly how you feel and say you’re ready to walk if he’s not willing to work on it. If he agrees to work on it with you, give it a chance. If not, get out.
A three year old being asked to do chores and getting an allowance 
I’m going to say this, moving out will not change much. He doesn’t want to change or take your concerns seriously. Mil will continue to meddle even if you don’t live with her (been there, done that). If he’s not taking the initiative to be supportive of his family he isn’t husband material, just boyfriend material. Don’t make that mistake. Moving out won’t help, and marrying him at this point would be a really big mistake.
If the trailer just needs painting and minor repairs, you could get some paint and supplies and start fixing it up yourself, if possible. You could patch small holes in the wall and such. It’s easy to do. I learned to use power tools because I got tired of waiting for someone else to fix stuff. I love DIY. Who knows, you might too. Good luck.
Move out. If you still feel the same after a year then you’ll know. It sounds like The MIL is the problem
Your husband lacks ambition. Unless the man is disabled there is no reason for him not to be providing for your family. I don’t know where you both work, which you absolutely both should be. You need to pool finances and get gone. Or resign yourself to the fact that this will always be your life
First of all have an adult family discussion not a telling match and see where it stands from there
Move out financial strain is no harder than the one y’all are under now.
I got married when I was 17 and have been married for 30 years… The term being in love is crap! If you still love your significant other then you owe it to yourself, your children and the other person to WORK on your relationship. No, it’s not always easy but will be worth it, if you truly want it.
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It’s easy for me to say because I’m not in the situation but I would start with these things: 1. You and her need to have a conversation and establish some ground rules. 2. Sell the old mobile home - a fixer-upper like that is going to take soooo long and probably never be livable or suitable for kids. Use that money to put a deposit on a rental home and start working toward buying a home for you guys. Yes, it will take steps but if you don’t start you’ll be in this situation forever. 3. Yes, he’s your fiance but you’re part of this relationship too. Start telling him how you feel, start making plans, and if he doesn’t want a part of any of it, start making your own plans. 4. I don’t know how old your other kids are but if they are all school age except for the 3-year-old who will be starting Pre-K next year, start working if you don’t already so that you’ll have something for you or something to work toward. I would feel trapped too and life is too short to be trapped! It sounds like the situation is only working for your fiance and his family but definitely not for you. Where’s the joy?! Life should also have some joy.
I’m sorry if this offends but 8 year engagement, 3 children and still living with mummy and daddy, sounds like he want’s a family but still stay a Mummy’s/Daddy’s boy…
Move on into a place of your own, take back control of your children (don’t cut them off from their grandparents, that makes you a better person).Start living your own life and see if he follows…Will prove just how much he really loves you…
Probably sounds a bit harsh to some but certainly what i would be doing …
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I’m not sure your financial situation. But you should move and if he wants to be with you and the kids more than he wants to be with his mom and dad he’ll follow you.
You are wasting your time. He is comfortable and has it on easy street. He’s not planning on going anywhere
Sounds like a nightmare having a nosy mother in law
Even if they get moved into the trailer they live next door and the mother will still interfer
WTH?!?
Get your @$$ out. Grow up, move on. 3 years ? Who’s the child here?
Have you thought maybe it’s time tomorrow adult and move out then you can set the rules? Honest question
Girl … I experienced many if these things. My former husband didn’t uphold any disciplining I put in place. And it got to the point that we didn’t discuss anything about our child that was negative. I was told one time when I called him about an incident with our child and after he chewed her butt he turned to me and told me to never call him again during work about this because it ruined his whole day. From that day on, i stopped talking to him about anything negative about our child. Further, since he was always so tight with his dad (which is awesome), anything his dad said to do, the did. I loved them both, but finally told him to stop telling his dad things all the time.
My advice to you is this … the behavior of your fiance’s will not change while he lives with his mother still. I’d love to say moving him from the household controlled by his will help, but I really don’t feel confident in saying that.
Your first action should be for you. Whatever that will be, you are more important than the ones around you make you feel. And that’s not fair to you and in exchange, not fair to your children.
Find your peace even if that means moving out and moving on.
Time to put your foot down. Tell him you and the kids are moving out, with or without him. And then follow through!
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Moving out would fix that problem
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Get the F out. Move with or without him
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Sounds more like a MIL issue then a fiancée issue.
Here’s an idea take your family and move. If you don’t want someone else parenting your kid grow a back bone and stand up for the way YOU parent. You sitting by doing nothing but basking in your own misery is allowing her to be in control of your children and your way of parenting.
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Sounds like you’ll have two children without a stable home.
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Um…get out of the parents house and be adults.
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Lady I would have run a long time ago
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8 years though Run
You pretty much have to put up with all this mess as long as you’re still living there. First of all don’t have anymore children until you have a home of your own and are married. Make up your mind what’s best for you and your children and move forward.
If you don’t want grandma to help raise YOUR children, get out of HER home.
I think the house is just the icing on the cake for you. I feel like your mind is made up and you know what you want. Be strong and good luck!
You need to get your family out of that house.
Put your foot daow, have tge trailer fixed in 3 months or another place or you are leaving.
Your Fiance Needs To Put His Big Boy Pants On!YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION.MAKE HIM LISTEN OR GIVE HIM A ULTIMATUM!!HE NEEDS TO PUT THE MOVE ON
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Run living with mommy in law never love em just don’t live with them
Love isnt always easy. Dont give up.
I would feel the same way! That’s a very stagnant existence.
Entire thing sounds like drama and kids having kids. Sorry but 🤷
Get a job if your not already working. Get a place for you and the kids. You can do this. One more thing never leave your job.
I rather go live in a shelter than be told what to do
Move into your own house/apt.
Geez! Just grow up and quit playing house.
Move out take kids with you tell him your moving either he comes with you or stay
Oh honey…take your kids and go. He can be a grown ass man and go with you, or leave him behind with mama.
Move out. Get your own house.
Tell him exactly what you need. If he doesn’t, LEAVE!!
Out from under her roof then out from under her thumb.
You need to set an ultimatum for him. You need to get away from his parents.
I think you should go watch some feedy Tv episodes
Strange I know. But probably an answer in there
Run girl!! If he cares he will go with
You’re living with Marie Barrone!! RUN!!! Lol
go get a job. save your money. take your kids and leave. take control of your own life for yours and the kids sake
Move away from his parents…
Have you told him this? Maybe it’s time you tell him how you feel.
Fiance… For 8 years?! Shoulda been gone girl 
He’s spineless he will never back you up…move on and move out you deserve better
Do you have a Mum who can help you…?
Actions are LOUDER than words!!’
I’d give him a time limit ultimatum and stick to it.
Get your own home and the issue is eliminated.
#myhousemyrules. End of discussion.
Why stay if you’re miserable?
Move the heck out of his parents house.I’m a grown women at 72 live with my daughter, pay my way yet treated as a renter.I can’t move because i don’t get enough money from.S.S.
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Dollars American different society
Take the kids and walk
Bin with ur in-laws way to long girl.wth
Let me see if I understand this correctly, 8 years and 2 kids, living unmarried with his parents…Honey, please don’t take this the wrong way, but STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX AND BABIES WITH A MAN THAT IS NOT BEHAVING LIKE A MAN! Stop setting this example for your kids! Take the kids and get out on your own. If he grows a pair and can man up, great. If not, you have cleared the path for a real man to lead your family!
First off, why after 3 years are you still living with his parents? 2) y’all need to be adults and get your own place. That’s ridiculous and y’all sound like freeloaders.
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Someone who is supposed to love you letting you get walked all over and then dismissing how much it bothers you is not cool. Been there before, no longer together. Have you tried speaking to your mother in law? It sounds like she is unreasonable so maybe not the best course of action, I know it didnt go well with mine. I had a lot of the same issues you had with her. Honestly, I guess it comes down really to what you’re willing to tolerate. One thing too that may be helpful is making a list of everything that needs done in your mobile. Things like electric and plumbing should obviously be done by a certified electrician or plumber, but you can save a LOT of money by doing most things yourself, and there are a LOT of really good instructional videos on YouTube, which is where I learned most of what I had to learn. It could give you a good break from the drama, and I find DIY really relaxing. Definitely try marriage counseling if you’re not feeling loved and respected, but prepare yourself for the idea that things may not change
Id have a serious talk away from his parents and when the kids are asleep or busy being distracted. And lay it all out that his mother is being controlling and he is not doing anything to help out in these situations ha has no respect for you amd he has become.comfortable so much his parents do everything including his part as a parent id get your ducks in a row first before you go in strong. Find a place to live make sure you have your car money ect because if i were you me personally id tell him straight out how i feel no holding back and give it 30 days maybe 2 months give him a chance to hopfully change if things dont then dont say anything save some money get a storage place and gradually get yours and your kids thing important paper work like birth certificates ssi cards ect get there fathers information you’ll end up needing that find a place to go in the mean time while putting things in storage while your doing this dont tell anyone not even his family his mom sounds like a nut case and if she is already controlling dont put anything past her or his family and dont make it obvious what your doing. When the time comes tell him your leaving him things didnt change there the same he has no respect.for you as his wife and mostly the mother of his kids and he lets his mother take over. I say this because in my sitations or others ive noticed if you tell people what your doing it ends badly steal and hide and destroy ones belongings things go missing peoples behaviors act differently towards you its not always good.
To be honest it sounds like you have an issue with his mom and not your fiance. Don’t let his mother come between the two of you I get that it’s frustrating but you live in her house I’m not saying that you have to follow her rules to a tea because you guys are adults and have your own kids. But it sounds like it’s time to start saving up money and look for your own place. Me and my fiance lived with his sister for about a year and it almost ruined our relationship once we left the situation and everything went back to normal is not way better! Get out of that house
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Okay i have literally gone through this. You NEED to communicate if you love him and feel like he loves you…tell him you are not okay with the situation any longer and if it doesn’t change you have no choice but to leave because you need to move forward. If he tries…and continues trying then it is worth staying. If he gets angry at you for your feelings or refuses to help or cant be consistent you NEED to leave. And be careful about a custody battle…especially with his family involved.
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I think the first thing, honestly, is for your little family to be on your own, away from his parents. Then you two will be able to work on your relationship again. Even if it means you take a break from his parents for awhile. We lived with my MIL for a bit. After we moved I didn’t go to visit her for almost a year, because I needed that much time. Don’t get me wrong, she is a wonderful person and I love her dearly, but living under her roof was horrible for me. And I felt like I just couldn’t do anything at all without getting her permission
Bottom line… You gave it your all but hes still a baby. Time to get on with your life. The worse thing you could do is marry this chump. Then , things would be all downhill. Have faith in yourself and know the right man is out there looking for you
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idk. stop fuckin raw. use condoms or somethin. tl;dr. saw something complaining about having kids. stop lettin him hit it raw.
Geez, no offense but it sounds like y’all need to get your shit together and grow up. Why are adults, with 2 children, living with his parents for years? If you don’t like your situation, change it. Why is it all up to him to fix? Honey, you’re an adult, with children, its time to put your big girl panties on and fix your damn life.
Don’t give up on your husband just yet. The reason it’s not working out right now is because you’re drained! Dealing with in laws (whether it be your parents or his) is a fucking nightmare! Some parents are so territorial of their kids and want to tell them how to raise their kids. In some cultures grandparents are allowed to have the authority over the parents and I fucking hate that. You guys need your own space and really work on getting your own place, you and him, because the more those in law’s are involved you lose your husband and your kids. You won’t be able to control your kids. You’re husband I’m sure feels just as stressed plus being stuck in the middle but once y’all get your own place set boundaries if she’s toxic don’t allow her too much in your life. Once he has his own space things should get better if they don’t then it’s might be time to split up.
Just get your own place and tell him if he wants to stay with his parents he can, you can’t stay in that house anymore and he’s making no effort to try and fix your MH. If I don’t like how someone is trying to “raise” my kids then I’d bitch about it and make sure it is heard. If you fight then you fight 
kidding but get out now imo I don’t think anything will change. Do what’s best for you and your kids
I’d talk to her myself.
Who the fuck wants to live in a mobile home? Or with inlaws. Take kids and bail
Move out and move forwars
Leave him , 3 years is long enough. Take your kids to your mommas house. Be single for real because it sounds like you already are a single parent. He probably flirts with everyone and thinks he is gods gift to women when he ain’t shit if he can not provide for his family himself without mommy and daddy. #BabyDaddyAintShit
I would sit him down and tell him he needs to listen to you. Explain you’re basically at the end of your rope and things need to change because it’s getting to the point where you’re just too unhappy to keep going down this path. If he listens and says he’s going to start taking care of things, give him a chance and see how it goes for a bit. If he starts slacking or just tells you to stop talking to him again, I’d personally leave. Give him the chance to see how serious it is and see if he’s willing to do what needs to be done for you, your relationship, and your family though.
I have been with my husband for 16 years, married for 14 years. I can tell you it takes a lot of work. You’re not always going to feel head over heels for each other. It’s hard work, but if the person is worth it, then you have to work at it every single day.You have to decide if the person you’re with is worth the struggle to get to those good days.
Before leaving the family you made take some tools and go work on your house. That may get him off his ass and going
You guys are grownups you shouldn’t be living with your parents
Time to take matters in your own hands. Start calling a contractor to come fix it, and tell your SO to start putting money away because you are going to make it livable, since he is too busy. Once you start doing it, it will either give him the gumption to do it, OR he will throw a fit and tell you no, and then you can tell him if he doesnt do it, you and the kids are gone.
You need to be a family unit of 3… You have never been in your own home with your partner and children. Living with so many adults won’t make parenting your children any easier. You need to be away from his parents, and next door is to close… You would never feel like you were free to make your own choices for your children. If your fiancé wants to live with his parents, then he can do that, and you make a home for you and your children. He has to decide who he spends his life with…
Your problem is you’ve lost respect for your man and you’ve can no longer trust what he says. If you can’t trust his word you lose faith in him. You didn’t say why you’re living with his parents in the first place. You’ve been with this man 8 years, how long are you going to play house. You did not say whether you work or not. If you don’t work you need to get a job. You should not keep putting yours and your children’s welfare totally in the hands of someone who won’t commit to you or being a responsible independent adult handling their business. The stuff you’re putting up with is typical when your well being is somebody’s else hands.
I believe his mom is trying to help you raise your children to learn how to earn there stuff. Nothing wrong with that .
If your not feeling get out life is to short
You need to change the situation yourself because you can’t change someone else.
-He will most likely never finish that house. You need to move away from there…
-Make him choose between his family or his mum.
If he chooses his family you have a chance of a happy life together 
If he chooses his mum, you know you cannot stay with him. It will destroy you and make you unhappy 
Good luck 
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This is all too familiar for me. A couple of months ago, my husband and I were still living at his parent’s house. We had our own place about 3 years ago, but then we decided to move back into his parents house for financial reasons. Also, they have a big house so they had a room for us. At the time we had a 5 year old, and I was 7 months pregnant when we moved back in with them. I told my husband that we had a year to save up and after that we would have to move out. Oh boy did I regret moving back in. I have a great relationship with my mother in law, but my father in law on the other hand, man was it hard to deal with him. After the baby was born, he would get onto my husband and I about the baby crying and would tell us that we weren’t good parents and that if we weren’t going to take care of him to not bother having any more kids. Keep in mind, he was a new born/infant. He wanted us to carry the baby all the time so that he wouldn’t cry. And I couldn’t do that because I had another 5 yr old to attend to. Plus cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry. It all just became too much pressure for me to handle. My husband even started getting onto me about the baby crying bc his dad would yell at him about it which i understand but still it was frustrating. Now my husband would tell him dad to back off and not say anything to me bc I was his wife and he needed to respect me which I’m happy he did. But behind closed doors me and him(my husband) would fight a lot about it and my mother in law would get mad at my father in law bc he was sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. I was miserable that whole year at his parents and felt that we were becoming distant from one another bc we were fighting a lot. We even separated at one time cause I just couldn’t deal being there anymore. Side note: my brother in laws gf lived with us and I thought it would be nice to have another girl in the house which turns out was not. She kept using all my face washes, used my laundry detergent, never cleaned the bathroom, which throughout that whole year she only cleaned it about 3 times. She also wouldn’t bother buying toilet paper or toothpaste. And I told my husband that he needed to talk to his brother about that bc I wasn’t too comfortable telling the gf anything since we really didn’t know each other. Well fast track, my husband got waaaaay too comfortable living at his parents. He stopped helping me do anything, I started to have to do everything on my own. He would always play video games, and wouldn’t bother helping me with the kids or with the cleaning. He didn’t want to move out bc he didn’t want to throw away our money on renting a place. Also, we saved ZERO dollars. I would get onto him about saving and he would never listen to me. We fought a lot about money and one day I just had enough and stopped caring if we saved or not. So I finally told him enough is enough, and I told him that if he didn’t want to leave this parents, that he could stay there but that I was going to find a place for me and my kids and that if he wanted to come along that was great, and if he didn’t and would rather stay at his parents, that that was good as well. I had to LITERALLY force his hand bc otherwise we’d still be there right now. Things would probably have been different if A.) his dad would mind his own business and not give us shit about how we parented B.) my brother in laws gf would stop taking my stuff ( the one time I moved out and left some things behind, she took and I confronted her about it) and would buy her own damn things and B.) we actually did save up some money.
He started saving money right before we moved out as of trying to prove a point but I told him idc about saving anymore. I want to get out of here and now we’re in our own apartment again. My best advice would be to force his hand bc he won’t do anything on his own. He’s gotten way too comfortable at his parents and he’s not going to break that cycle on his own so you have to do it for him. And if he doesn’t, then maybe it’s best that you move on with your kiddos.