I don't know what to do, just feel so lonely

I am single mother of two. I left my kids dad approximately 4 years ago because if severe physical abuse. The abuse was so bad that I almost lost my life. For the past four years, I’ve dedicated my life to my two boys only, and I think I’m doing a good job with them, but deep inside I feel so lonely, but u don’t know how to start dating again. I think I’m attractive, but I dont feel like any other man will even contemplate having a relationship with me because I have two children, plus, I don’t even come out, so I don’t even meet people to say I can even think of getting to know. I have the desire to have a male in my life,but I don’t even know where to start from.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I don't know what to do, just feel so lonely

Check with your closest domestic violence program and ask about adult women’s groups and they have lots of resources. There is a big difference in be alone and being lonely. Be true to you and learn to love yourself and take time for yourself.

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I don’t think you should start dating just because you’re lonely,that’s a recipe for disaster.then you may cling onto whoever comes by no matter how they treat you.I would suggest meditation,yoga,try crafting,writing or walking with a mom group

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Don’t look on social media! A lot of large church group activities could be one place good luck!

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I’ve been there and I know your pain all too well. I’m with my fiance now but we have been friends since childhood and then it developed into something . Start going out even if it’s to the movies , hang out with friends , church when the person is right for you , you will know . Wishing you best of luck …

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If you have any girlfriends you can reach out to and see if you can go out sometime or have dinner out together…or if there’s a gym nearby you can start in/join that might help you meet new people…working out or yoga classes. Or even go to church if you dont already…gotta get out and meet new people. Nothing wrong with taking yourself out either…dress yourself up and walk in anywhere and own it. You can do it…if you were strong enough to move on and raise your kids you can do ANYTHING…and you are worthy of the best.

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I was in the same spot as you, left an abusive relationship, living on my own with two kids and working. I decided it was going to me, my kids and our dog forever…till my husband came along. I met him through my mom when she was catering, and again at the bank I was working at. It seems to happen when you least expect it.

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I was in the same boat as you! (Except I have 1 little boy). I also never go out or drink because I’m a single mom too and am there for my baby 100%. He’s my top priority, WAY above going out to drink.

I promise the right man for you and your children won’t care at all about having them in his life! And if he has a problem with it, he’s not the one for you guys. You’re all a package deal.

I promise the right one for you will come unexpectedly when you’re not even looking for it! You got this, your boys are lucky to have you! :white_heart:

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I felt like I was reading my thoughts, I can totally relate except for the physical part. His neglect was emotional etc. my life is my kids it gets very lonely I get it I wish I had advice but I’m in the same citation

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I promise it will get better. You need to focus on yourself, and just enjoy your kiddos. You will get lonely, even couples feel lonely too. I do sometimes. I have been single for 9 and enjoy my time with friends. And no I haven’t met anyone yet. But that’s because I now know what I want,and won’t settle for less than I deserve. You need to start loving yourself first. Don’t look to fill your loneliness. You might end up in the same place you left 4 yrs ago. :two_hearts:

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You sound to me to be a little insecure.Stay where you are until you have faith and strength to build your confidence. I’m sure you will find the right person or that person will find you. Don’t despair it’ll happen

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I met an amazing man on Tinder who is phenomenal to me and my 3 girls. Their dad was abusive to me, let me tell you it gets better sweetie. You deserve love and you will find it if you let yourself. Find a trusted sitter, give yourself some free time to date because you deserve it! :heart:

I’ve been a single mom of three for the past 9 years and felt the exact same way and literally don’t go anywhere but work and Walmart. I just met a great guy very unexpectedly because I got lost and we’ve been talking for a month now. Don’t stress it. It will happen when the time is right

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I don’t know much about domestic violence but I’m so glad you and children are safe ! Someone will come along and love you for you mama ! It all takes time. They key is confidence and getting out there again ! Maybe try some dating sites or just going out more alone (or with your kids). You got this !

I met my fiancee 3 weeks after having my daughter. A man that wants to be with you will not care that you have kids. Best of luck to you mama

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Did you ever go to a church they sometimes had
Have things for single patents grou

Go to church and meet people.it s a start

Find a friendly local church (your kids will make friends there, too), join a class at your local library (you can do that with your kids, too, you might make some mom friends), an exercise class or gym, book club or knitting class, check with the your local park-they might have activities you and/or your kids could join.

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Until you learn to love yourself, steer clear of romantic relationshios.

Getcha one of those fancy apps and go for some simple D to get back in the game. Then try talking to people. And DO NOT repeat the same mistake picking this time. No hitting.

Focus on your kids. Men come and go, but they’ll be your kids forever.

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I’m more comfortable single now. I have no advice. I’ve been raising kids alone with zero help or support system for 16 years. I don’t go out so J can relate to being in a corner as far as even entering the scene. I think it’s all tinder, pof and online dating? I think?
I don’t ever get a sitter so it’s impossible for me. Like, where do you start? Do I even WANT to start?
I wish you luck mama. I hope oh find whatever it is you’re looking for.

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I had 3 kids and I started dating by going on dating sites. Ran into my husband almost right away. Its been 10 years. Start slow and look for red flags. Good luck!

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I remember feeling that way. If you can, try to take a class at college volunteer at someplace that you know you can help, if you bowl join a league book club etc. I know it’s hard but one step goes a long way. Don’t jump into any relationship without taking time for you. Watch that you aren’t drawn to the same type of guy, as it happens a lot.

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The right man will come to you. Don’t look for it. I was a single mother. Looking for it brought me to lies and cheating. When I least expected, he was there. Just there. All this time, I’d run to him for male advice, he saw me get hurt but was just there for me. One day, when he finally opened up, I was speechless. This December it will be six years. Best wishes.

Your first mistake is saying nobody’s gonna date you with kids!! Second you have to go after what you want