So your not okay with her cosleeping with her father and his gf but if the tables were turned and you had a bf im willing to bet it would be okay because thats all shes ever known? Sounds like your trying to pull some double standards here. Either she co sleeps in both places or she goes in her own bed in both places.
I don’t understand why this is an issue for you. If anything, this shows that your ex prioritizes his child’s comfort over his girlfriends. Maybe if he had several girlfriends or constantly a different woman in bed with them. But If the girlfriend is long term and accepting of this and they are caring well for your child and unless you have concerns of harm to the child, I don’t think it’s a fight you should take on. There will be plenty of disagreements to have over the years.
Why is ok with you and NOT HER FATHER?!
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I know it hurts when you feel like you have to share your baby. But the truth is… You and him will move on and have new partners and if she treats your daughter well and they look after her well and she’s happy in their care it’s best to keep a civil relationship between you guys so that you can co-parent amicably. To be honest you don’t have any legal standing to dictate what he does while you’re not around. So long as your daughter is being taken care of and treated well, there isn’t much you can do. I have gone through it myself so I really sympathize with you because it does hurt and make you angry but the best thing for you is to just try and deal with it because the best thing for you and your little one is to keep things amicable Xx
Honesty be glad the girl friend cares about your daughter . Also if you are going to put it in an agreement though court just be ready to be told you can not do sleep with her anymore . I don’t understand what is wrong with this person. I love my kids and would want them happy with me with dad . My ex husband has a new gf and I have a boyfriend they are amazing with our children
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My step kids INSISTED upon cosleeping along with my child. Imagine 3 kids and two adults in one bed. It was ridiculous. But you cant let one and not the others, just like you can try to stop them but you’ll fall asleep and they’ll crawl right in anyways. We had rooms and beds for them but it literally took forever to get them all to sleep in their own beds and some nights it just wasn’t worth fighting over. As long as it’s just cosleeping you’ve got no reason to care. It obviously makes the child happy.
I understand not feeling comfortable if you don’t know the new girlfriend. Whether you trust your exes judgement or not. People are very deceiving these days. If that’s the reason you’re not comfortable with it then you have evey right! Either way just talk about it to come up with a solution
It’s his kid and you can’t really tell him what to do in his own home.
Would you stop allowing your daughter to cosleep with you if you were in a relationship?
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Why is it okay for her to sleep with you but not him??? Double standards much? Get over yourself
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If you’re uncomfortable with it the gf should be the one with different sleeping arrangements. If cosleeping is all your daughter has ever known and you’re still going to corkers with her, then she isn’t just going to sleep in a separate space on just the days dad has her. That’s absurd and honestly probably not possible. It’s hard to crib/bed train after cosleepibg
So it’s okay for him to tell you the same thing then when you have a significant other? You sound bitter, insecure, & jealous asf. Grow up.
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Idk… Im havent co slept with either of my girls, but i feel like when i dont let people co sleep with my child its because i dont agree with it for them or us. (i have nothing against people who choose to. I even commend them). But i think if its such a pattern for you when shes with you, why so against it when shes with her dad?
My exhusband got a court order that I can’t cosleep (alone) with my daughter. If you wanted to go that road. But it was awful for her.
You say this happens on trips right? So is she sleeping in her own space when they’re at his home? If so, there should be no problem getting a two bed hotel room.
My oldest is 7 now and randomly wants to watch movies and sleeps in bed with us on the weekends. Granted my boyfriend has been in his life for years now. He didn’t even meet my bf until we had been dating for 6+months. I think the timeline depends a lot here as well.
You shouldnt cosleep and then tell him not to and have her sleep alone. So pick one.
I’m sorry but to me this sounds like two great homes for this child. Don’t let pride or motherly things that person does get to you.
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How old is your kiddo? Maybe it is time to start transitioning her to her own bed? That’s prob the o my way you’re going to get her out of “their” bed
Lol no… if I had my boyfriend spend the night we would not be sharing the bed w my daughter she would be nice and tucked in her own bed, away from any snoring or kicking or blanket hogging or third wheeling mannerisms.
Tbh he probably wouldn’t even be spending the night if she was there, unless we were pretty serious to the point we’re living together. Just me though
I wouldn’t mind if she was his wife. But his girlfriend?! What if they break up, he meets someone else and does the same with new gf?
Has this gf been in his life long enough for that?
One she needs her own sleep space but if shes cosleeping she can sleep with dad but not the girlfriend if shes that new of a girlfriend cosleeping is a serious bond that could really hurt your daughter if they ever break up or have drama
It if was me I’d highly appreciate the fact that my baby daddys new partner is mature enough to be able to give my child all the love he deserves, I speak from experience of being a step child and not having very nice step parents 
just know co-sleeping (cause I do it too) is a bond you’ll never lose
You say you have no plans on changing her sleeping habits… yet you want to change it🤷🏻♀️she’s still co-sleeping, just not with you and him.
You both moved on… do you expect his gf to sleep on the couch then?
Unless your daughter starts to sleep in her own bed when she’s with you, then by all means you can hold him accountable for letting her still sleep in her own bed.
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I think the real feeling behind this is that you don’t want your daughter to have a co-sleeping relationship with anyone BUT her dad or you….because you can’t trust anyone else.
I can’t blame you one bit. Trust your gut. It’s your child
So she’s always co-slept and now you have a problem with it?? So a habit you created from day one, you want to change because you’re not involved?
His time his rules … keep the main focus on your child … if the child is happy then let them be. In the meantime find a hobby or something to occupy your time when your child is gone. 
i have coparented for 10 years and trust me when I say “focus on the well being of your child” be glad another woman is allowing that situation. If one day your child comes to you and tells you something is wrong thennnn go off the deep end and go full on Mama Bear. Good step moms and girlfriends are hard to find!!!
I’d ask if its a long term girlfriend and not a new girlfriend of just couple weeks, and secondly how would you deal with situation if you got new boyfriend, would you be wanting child in bed, I dont think it’s appropriate for quite some time tbh, if it was me child would be in own bed in own room as child needs to see stability
I personally wouldn’t have a problem with it. Can’t have different rules for you than him as much as it your not being replaced just look at is as 1mrenperson who loves your girl. Sheobv likes the woman andngets along with her it’s only the child that suffers
Im afraid you have your child so used to cosleeping that she probably insists on it when she’s with them and you’re gonna have to trust they aren’t inappropriate around her and just come to terms with it…
Ok so it’s ok for you to do but not dad…unless dad is a useless eff up…which since he gets visits he most likely is a ok guy…it should be fine for him to do it as well…if not maybe yall both quit co sleeping…
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So… if he didn’t have a girlfriend, would it matter?
From the sounds of it, co-sleeping has been the routine for a very long time.
Always kills me that once a paramour enters, all hell breaks loose.
Yeah look, your sounding a little like a control freak here…
You can not control who the father has around the children. You need to TRUST that he will put your child’s needs before anyone else’s.
Would you be willing to oblige if he asked you not to co sleep with your new partner in the same bed also?
Logistically it might not be possible. If your child is safe and happy, what’s the issue here?
In all honesty I don’t think anybody should sleep in a bed with somebody else’s children unless they really have earned like the step parent title or the step parents is legit there parent who stepped up to the plate to raise that child not somebody’s girlfriend or boyfriend they’ve been dating for a couple months no way it doesn’t matter if it’s a women or a man it’s weird and to me I wouldn’t like my daughter sleeping in the bed with random women
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Sounds like your jealous and your putting your feelings in front of your daughters! I’m sure dad has it under control!
I totally get that you don’t like it but all you can do is let them know how you feel about it. You don’t get to call the shots on their time at their house and they don’t get to with you at your house. Honestly it’s probably what is easiest and works with them. The girlfriend being ok with this is a sign that she’s loving and good to your daughter. If you don’t like the idea of someone else playing the mom figure role I get that too (Single mom for 16yrs). It was hard for me to accept but at the end of the day it’s what makes your little girl feel safe, loved, and happy.
If you’re co-sleeping with her at home then co-sleeping with her dad while she’s gone is a normal for her. She already has a set system and she co-parents you seem to have no issue with her sleeping with you but why is it an issue when she sleeps with her father? Is it because of the girlfriend?
Okay so the father has a girlfriend he moved on it seems like you don’t have an issue with this girl other than the fact that she sleeps in the bed with HER man and your child comes into bed because she’s used to co sleeping with YOU.
Honestly it really shouldn’t bug you all that much at least be safe and knowing that they’re keeping what you do at home in their home it’s not like they’re doing the nasty with your child in the bedroom then I would have every right to be mad they’re just sleeping there’s nothing wrong with that.
I think you have an issue with the fact that the girlfriend is sleeping next to your child instead of you and honestly I don’t know why you would be upset having one more support person in your child’s life doing what you do at home. This woman probably doesn’t like the idea of co-sleeping with your child maybe she thinks your child is too old but she still does it to make you feel more comfortable. I think your issue is not the co-sleeping I think your issue was with the girlfriend and you need to sit down and spend some time with yourself and really think about what you have going on in your head and you need to find ways to let that go.
You co-slept with your child for so long that’s all your child knows so to force the father not to do so all because of a girlfriend is ridiculous cuz I’m pretty sure if you had a boyfriend or if you do have a boyfriend that child is sleeping in the same bedroom with you and your boyfriend and it’s not an issue. You need to leave it alone let your child be because they’re happy and move on with your life
I think it depends on how long the gf and dad have been together, how well your daughter knows her, and if their relationship is serious or not. I understand not liking that, as I wouldn’t either if it wasn’t a long term serious gf.
The child shouldn’t sleep with you or them. But to say it’s ok for them to sleep with you and not dad you are petty.
I don’t see the issue, is this a new random woman or has she been in the picture for awhile
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Co-sleeping isn’t something I agree with but I don’t judge those who do! BUT I think kids after a certain age should have their own room, my son slept in our room but not our bed until he was like 2, but any older was kind of weird but I wouldn’t want some woman that isn’t her mom sleeping in the bed with her, that’s just weird, I feel like co-sleeping should only be between the bio parents not “girlfriends”
My ex was doing the same thing, having my youngest sleep in their bed with his girlfriend on sleepovers. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable about it and asked for that not to happen. Now he won’t have kids overnight at all. 
We have never “co-slept” before at either house.
If that’s how she is used to falling asleep why would it be weird for her to co-sleep with them? I think it’s fine it’s her dad
I personally don’t see a problem, unless a problem occurs. If their just co sleeping and that’s what you do at home then it’s not a problem. It probably helps her feel more secure and more like she feels at home with you.
I definitely wouldn’t like that. If it was just the father co sleeping, that’s fine. However, when a girlfriend is involved that’s weird… I would say the exact same if you were co sleeping with your boyfriend(who isn’t the dad). Kids won’t say anything if one of their parents is telling them to keep quiet about it. So how do you know something isn’t happening(if anything is)? I just wouldn’t be comfortable and I would offer to buy a toddler bed. Maybe it’s time she did learn to sleep on her own at both houses.
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“Shes always co-slept, and I have no plans to change that” but I want to control a man, a FATHER on how he parents. No no no, girl his time his home his kid to you have no say in that situation honestly. Either stop co-sleeping completely or leave them be.
It’s her father he can have her sleep the way he wants to. Just like you have the right to have her sleep the way YOU want.
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It is okay that your child is forming a bond with another person. You are lucky this lady is decent and loves children. There are some horrible women out here. God is smiling down on you for sure. Your baby is yours…There is no replacement for a wonderful mother like you in the eyes of a child. Let her be happy and feel secure. Your child may have requested this setup, because she misses you and is emulating your safe environment away from home. Children often cry when away from their moms and say, but moms always tucks me in and stays. She will grow out of this soon. Save your energy for the big stuff…
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The baby’s dad should respect that.
And the girlfriend should respect you as well!
Sounds like you have a jealousy issue, no offense. I mean I guess I understand because maybe i would be too if I had to share my daughter but also we have to remind them they are not possessions to fight over and there is plenty of love to go around for everybody. The way I see it is I would rather hear my daughter is comfy enough with my exes new gf that she’s fine co sleeping with her rather than hearing my daughter wants to sleep with her daddy and new gf won’t let her. 
if the love is there that’s all that should matter.
If you aren’t comfortable with it talk to your ex. Don’t come at him sideways about it just talk to him. With that said unfortunately there isn’t anything else you can do about it. It is his home and, his time with his child. Maybe present your case in a way that won’t make you look jealous. Like tell him you are concerned about your daughter getting too close to his girlfriend because you don’t want her to get hurt should the relationship end badly. You would prefer if he didn’t allow the girlfriend to sleep with ya’ll’s (not your) daughter because that instills a bond that isn’t easily severed.
Just see it from this point…if and when you get a partner are they going share a bed with you? Because if yes then you cannot say anything about when she’s with her dad especially as you said you weren’t going to change the co-sleeping. Two way street love, sounds like your a little jealous he’s moved on. It would be weird if they have only just got together but if it’s a few months into their relationship there’s no issue given this women could potentially be in her life a very very long time
If co-sleeping is all she knows then you probably have to stop on your end if you want her to stop with her father as well. They probably just want sleep so they accomodate her.
Sounds like someone is bitter. As long as your child isn’t in harms way and is happy who cares if his girlfriend sleeps in the same bed. I don’t think it’s your concern what goes on at HIS house!
Ahhh is this a legit question? 
You sound petty tbh! I’ve been with my partner for 3years now, he also has a son that is 8years old. So the son being 5 when I met him. He has always slept with us every time we have him. My partner is always in the middle tho which I find okay. You sound like your they type that will try anything and everything to give your baby daddy a hard time. What he does with babygirl when it’s his time should not be your concern unless it concerns health issues etc. Just remember what you don’t want your baby daddy doing with baby then don’t be a hypocrite and do it yourself
If you got a boyfriend are you going to continue to let her co sleep when he’s with you?
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It would totally depend on how well she treated my child and how old the child is.
Would you stop her sleeping in your bed with you if you got a new partner who was also sleeping in the bed? If not why do you feel as if her father has too? Dosent make much sense to me 
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Me and my children’s father separated we both have separate partners and my son co-slept what I did was when me and my partner became very serious where he started staying over and then we moved in together he slept on one side of me and my son slept on the other side same thing when he was with his dad his dad’s girlfriend would sleep on one side of him and he would sleep on the opposite side.
It’s the downfall of co-sleeping until you guys are ready to switch her to her own bed you can’t really tell him that he can’t have his girlfriend sleep in the bed. All that really matters is that she’s well taken care of and getting all the love that she can if that’s where she’s comfortable then that’s where she should be
I’ve co slept with my own child but as a gf to a man with a child I’ve felt awkward to have his child sleep in bed with us all night… I can understand where you’re coming from but if your child is happy that’s all that should matter
If you don’t want dad to co sleep with her because his girlfriend is In the same bed and you know that since she is a co sleeper and won’t go for sleeping on her own at his house then the only option is. Starting now… you need to start getting her used to sleeping on her own. And sticking to it and it is hard habit to break. And say you are able to do it and her father does it while he has her as well or he says he does… what if he doesn’t… what if he just says he does he could still be co sleeping with her… idk. If the tables were turned what would you do?
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How old is she and why doesn’t she have her bed to sleep in ?
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I wouldn’t want a stranger in bed with my kid doesn’t matter if girlfriend… for me that is weird
Co sleeping is not safe in my opinion so I can’t even give advice other than stop… But if it’s for you than it should be at both houses…if that’s what she’s used to than it should be consistent
You co sleep
He dad Co sleeps
And now you have an issue because he has a girlfriend
Imo you sound like a jealous mom
I dont think she has an issue with the dad co-sleeping… she seems to have an issue with dad’s gf co-sleeping (all 3 together)
I understand the concern. You can always bring it up to him and just share your concerns/feelings…
I wouldn’t be comfortable with it, but you can’t control your ex partners parenting time. I would be more concerned about having good communication skills and teaching boundaries to your child.
i wouldn’t be okay with that either.
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Sounds like your trying to create a hurdle to make it impossible for her to sleep there in my opinion
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If she’s always co slept she will not have a problem with it.
It’s about the child being taken care of an loved . If they are use to co sleeping then let the child co sleep an be happy . Why start drama when it would make the child in happy ? Leave it be an let them be happy . If you get a boyfriend what’s going to happen then ? What’s good for the goose is good for the gander . Don’t sweat the small stuff
I’m sorry but would the same apply if it was a man? Partners can sleep somewhere else I’ll sleep with my kid… And if I were to split from my husband I would expect the same, sexual predators come in all shapes and sizes
What makes it different to when she coslept with yous when yous where together ?
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But why not? If she likes it and it’s working for everyone, why do you want to ruin that?
Sounds like a conversation that you and dad need to have. For one, is this a new girlfriend or one that has been around for months/years. All of that makes a big difference because it’s understandable that you don’t want your daughter co-sleeping with someone new constantly, that is weird. I know it’s hard having to co-parent but this is one of those situations where you have to communicate when the child is involved.
How old is the child?
I get where you are coming from - I wouldn’t like my child in the bed with a stranger either.
What happens if they decide to have sex? What happened when you and your now ex used to have sex?
It would have to be the same at your place if you got yourself a partner, he too wouldn’t be able to sleep in the bed with you and her then either, if you set that boundary for his place, it has to reciprocate for yours aswell.
Maybe taking the next step of moving away from this co-sleeping situation is ideal for all, so the option is there when you too are partnered in the future.
Having your child pop
back in to your bed for a mummy daughter night will never be an issue, getting them out of the bed is the biggest issue!
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If you get a new boyfriend would you still cosleep with your daughter and your new man? How long has dad and this gf been together?
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Sadly, it can be put into a court order if you’re going that route. You can refrain from your partners in bed. However if child is on your time and you end up dating just know that the same comes into play. It’s a tough spot. Just always communicate with each other and child! It’ll work out.
How long have they been together? I personally wouldn’t allow it but my kids have also never co slept
I wonder if the tables were turned and you and your boyfriend were co sleeping if your ex would want you to stop? I also wonder how that would go over when he told you what to do in your own home?
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IMO if you don’t want the dad to do it then you shouldn’t either. You can’t expect her to not co sleep when it’s all she’s done at your house and with him at some point as well as you. Break the habit of both homes if it bothers you that much. You could also get to know the girlfriend and gauge her vibes fairly to see if she has pure intentions for your daughter.
I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either. Imagine if you had a boyfriend staying with you and then your daughter was sleeping in the bed with the two of you. Would your ex be ok with that? It’s one thing for a bio parent to cosleep, its different for a non-parent in my opinion. Have you tried talking to your ex about it? Maybe he feels the same but isn’t sure how to end the cosleeping or isn’t sure how to handle it either.
There is far too much that happens where children are accidentally unknowingly exposed to things in married households alone not even getting into all the other possibilities when divided. There is absolutely no reason both parents shouldn’t be able to agree to this no longer happening for the sake of the child’s safety and mental health long term on both their parts. This is really no different than taking away a pacifier. If the child persists in the beginning maybe the parent alone can lay with the child in their bed until they fall asleep to make it easier. It’s really not about the parents but the child. I would just talk to your ex and explain your concerned about what the child may accidentally be unknowingly exposed to and ask if the two of you can come to a mutual agreement but what’s ok for him really should be the same for you especially if you start seeing anyone new.
My question is: would “dad” be ok if mom starts a new relationship and put the little girl to co-sleep with the new step dad?
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If your daughter is safe, happy and is loved, then why is this even an issue?
So you want to control everything? You can do it but he can’t? Weird but ok!!! Grow up!!!
Totally weird to Co sleep with a significant other for either of yous …
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I think it’s weird. I cosleep as well… but when I finally find a man worth having around I won’t be cosleeping with him and my son. 
I bet it’s the only way she will sleep.
although i feel you 1000%, i was so so upset when my daughters dad allowed his gf to sleep in the bed with him & her,the judge didn’t say a thing … They said as long as it isn’t some “fling” (random) in the bed with your child, they cannot say much. (coming from a judge’s mouth)
and for whoever commented they should be married, that’s ridiculous, marriage is a piece of paper, sorry
my daughters dad doesn’t come around anymore and is not with that girl,so i don’t have to worry about it.
but it’s hard for us as co sleepers to not allow them with their other parent (and their significant other)
so sorry if this is jumbled (330am for me)
What if the child isn’t used to co-sleeping and the bio father and girlfriend start co-sleeping with the child? How would you go about it in that scenario?
I am just exacerbated by some of these comments on here. There are some very insecure women on this page. If you can’t trust your ex to make sound decisions about your children’s safety, your ex shouldn’t have your kids overnight either! Come on, having it put into your divorce papers that they aren’t allowed to have sleep overs with the opposite sex until marriage? Really? Are we that controlling? Again, if you can’t trust the other parent to make your kids safety a priority than the other parent shouldn’t have the kids either! SMFH 
I had to learn to deal with it. I wouldn’t take to lightly him trying to tell me what to do. So I just think of it like what would go down if the situation was reversed.
You can’t run anyone else’s household so move on.
Yea, ifk I could be down with that… Not just a girlfriend no. If it was actual stepmom maybe but my ex is not in the picture at all so idk how i would even feel then honestly
Sounds like she more upset about him moving on than anything
No where is it said how old the child is. Might be a question for a doctor or therapist.
Just make sure you keep that mind set when you get a new bf
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I don’t see the issue with it personally. What exactly are you worried about? What exactly bothers you about it?
At the expense of sounding curt, I’m wondering if this more the child’s issue or yours. If the father is there on a regular basis and doesn’t see any issues going on, why rock the boat?
How is it okay for you to cosleep and not dad?