Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I don't think I can make it alone - Mamas Uncut
I mean if you work and he stays home, HELLO!!! Youāre already doing it alone!
Oh but you are making it alone. Alone while having to put up with this deadbeat. Plus, itās not āstart overā when you already have a job, you already went through the pregnanciesā¦ youāre not at zero, youāre good to go 
You are already making it aloneā¦ leave the baggage you got this!
Hunny u can do better all by ur damn self and then find a great man.
Start surrounding yourself with your friends girl. Get help! It is ok to ask for help. And once you start spending more time with your friends, then you will have the proper support you need. It is so hard for us to ask for help. But what he is doing is not right.
You work and pay the bills already. Make plans and go. If you can get evidence of his adultery thatās even better. Donāt put yourself through that, donāt let the kids think that is okay, and definitely donāt stay just for the children. You deserve better! You got this! Leave him high and dry and donāt look back.
You have to love your self enough to know ur worth the work
You got this lovely.
Kick him out.
You will all be happier without the stress.
I was with my husband for 14 years, I didnāt think I could live without him either. Today marks 2 months and Iām happier than Iāve ever been. You only live once, is this how you want to live for the remainder of your life?
Itās sooo much easier alone. It sounds harder but, in reality, itās easier.
Do you have any police record of the abuse? Next time he is abusive, call the police and press charges. Get a good divorce attorneyā¦at least for a consult on what to expect. You may be able to get a restraining order on him if you file for separation.
Your already doing it all yourself kick his arse out
Alone. U are already doing it alone. Get a babysitter.
Oh honey, this definitely sounds easier said then done I know but the fact that he stays home and YOU work? Girl, YOU GOT THIS
As long as you pay him child support
If youāre the one that works, youāre already financially self sufficient. So you will be fine on your own. Know your worth & set an example for your children that they are not to tolerate mistreatment, no matter who itās coming from. You got this!
Please get out. You donāt deserve to be abused physically or mentally. You can do this.
You work and he stays at home. You can make it alone. Get out now
You are already alone girl!! You are financially stable, he is not. You donāt need him for money or to take care of you so youāll be fine financially.
Get divorce papers free online, have them notarized, and kick him out. Get the sheriffs to remove him from the home. It will take a long time to emotionally heal from your wounds but you will never heal if he is there. No one deserves to be cheated on or abused. Stand up for yourself and what you deserve. Message me for positive healingā¤ļøāš©¹
You are already doing it alone! He is just riding off of you! Kick him to the curb! Yes itās scary at first but you have proven you can make it without him already! Take your kids and move onā¦ He is nothing but a user and abuser, you and your kids deserve so much better! You will feel so much stronger and better once he is gone. The abuse alone is a reason to leave and not look back! Remember this: Itās better to be alone than to wish you wereā¦ Good luck!
Life goes by so fast! Donāt waste it! Start over and move on. There is someone out there who will treat you well. Donāt waste anymore time or energy on this horrible person!
Thereās a book, āLearning to Leave: A womanās Guideā - it gives a lot of useful information. I cut the cover off a cheap cookbook and glued it over my copy so my husband at the time wouldnāt become enraged. You can get a used copy off Amazon.
You already have the upper hand given that you are the provider. Get those divorce papers and kick his behind out!
You! 
Are! Better! Than! That!
Get out before it starts to mess you and your kids up!
You need to get a lawyer to protect yourself and your assets. As a stay at home parent he might be entitled to. Alimony
Speak to a lawyer and start the divorce proceedings.
What has changed in him to be this way? Is there something medically wrong that has changed his mental status? Either way, you need to get out and be safe and have your kids safe. Know your worth.
Look at this wayā¦ wouldnāt you rather be alone then to be with some one that makes you feel alone
You can definitely do it without him. Itās hard, and itās terrifying, but I promise you are stronger than you think you are. Because once it starts, it only goes downhill
There is your answer. Heās the one that should be worried. You work and he stays home. You can do this. Get your kids and get out.
You deserve better.
Thatās it. Thatās the magic advice.
You can more than make it alone. You will one day find a partner that truly loves you. Until then you love yourself. Love your kids and model the life you want them to strive for.
If you can make it in a toxic relationship like that, you can for sure make it alone! 
Itāll take some time to adjust to the new normal & things will be a little harder emotionally & mentally for a bit but you will make it. You will thank yourself for making that call in the long run. Trust me, I would know. Iām a domestic violence survivor. 
You will do better on your own. You have an extra child in this man who is using and abusing you. You will be so happy when you kick him out.
You can do it just believe in yourself. I was with mine for 12 and I did it. If heās being stupid itās not going to stop.
You can do this. I know itās scary. But put one foot in front of the other and deal with things as they come. Make some preparations before you ask him to leave. Check the local laws. Speak to an attorney. Donāt tell anyone what youāre planning until youāre ready to ask him to leave. As the bread winner, you may end up paying him some kind of support for at least some amount of time. Be prepared and budget accordingly. Also know that your assets will come under review so ask the attorney about how to set up an emergency fund that he canāt attach. It may end up that you literally need to stash cash. Depending on what the laws are. When I decided to leave my husband, I had already made up my mind that he could have everyone in our lives. I only cared about my daughter. Be prepared for other people to have opinions and to tell them to stuff it. Good luck 
Youāve already been doing it alone if heās staying home, youāve got this!
You got this. Pick yourself up and walk away. Youāre kids will thank you one day. You do deserve better
The physical and mental/verbal abuse is where you should most definitely draw the line. You donāt want your children to grow up thinking thats how a woman should be treated. What you do, will always be what they see, so you choosing to stay, is showing them itās okay to be abused. Itās not easy, Iāve been there, but itās so worth it in the end to find happiness in someone who doesnāt belittle everything you do, or physically hit you.
But you are working and heās not. Why are you scared to start over? Itās not like you need him financially.
I donāt understand. Why donāt you think you can make it on your own? Youāre already paying for everything. Youād have 1 less person to take care of. Itāll be easier. Please get a counselor that specializes in DV. They will help you.
Being single is way more peaceful then being cheated on and abused!! Youāre only scared because heās all you know, but life can be great without him. Think of all the things he stopped you from doing. The person you wanted to be. Heās not the same person from 20 years ago, and neither are you.
He stays home and you work? You are already doing it alone 
. Just lose the extra weight. Itāll take time but itāll be so worth it. 
U do everything on Ur own anyway get out heās being a dogā¦ ull get happier and can do what u want
If this is recent behavior, get his doctor to assess him for possible causes. Early onset dementia? Was he a football player? Could it be chronic traumatic encephalopathy? Ask about other possible illnesses.
If heās always been a bit crabby, call a Womenās
Center for advice on how to find work and leave safely.
You are already alone momma from the time he decided to abuse youā¦ dont wait any longer for your children to experience that scenario from himā¦ your priority should be you and the kids. God will take care of you. Just pray for guidance and protectionā¦ you can survive without your husband. We woman deserve moreā¦ You deserve more. You are strong.
Get a lawyer and get out as fast as you can before it get a lot worse. Or before you or one of your kids get hurt seriously or even worse. And it is coming soon. Been in law enforcement since 1975. Seen 100s like this and it almost always gets worse. It a learned behavior. Please get out before something vary bad happens. God Bless and Prayers. There is plenty of help out there
Warn him not to mess around while being mentally prepared for whatever thatās put forward by him. The moment he gets violent, call the police on him. Follow up with your statement asking him to stay away from you and your kids. Get lawyerās help prior to everything and prepare well.
You are ALONE!!! He is not there for you, get him outā¦youāll be better off.
Your already making it alone financially so thatās a plus !!! You can do it if he passed away tomorrow you would do it !! Your worth more then that go on out there and live your life momma
You are working. You can make. It. Ok. He is not working. He is. The one that canāt make it.
You may or may not make it on your own but you definitely wonāt make it where you are now.
#1 Tell him to get a job and support himself. Go halfers on a sitter 
u obviously wear the pants so he needs to feel like a man 
idk
No no no; if you work then take your kids and leave. Gather important papers and set up a new bank account and talk to a lawyer. Document any bruises and take pictures of the Snapchatās.
It sounds like thereās no relationship just you getting used and abused. Get out
Brake his phone
Teach him itās not okay to be abusive
Leave If you have to
You are not financially reliant and he is abusive. Get therapy and get out!
Like after 20 years heās JUST NOW acting like this out of the blue?
Listen to me because I am not kidding. If he seriously has had a sudden personality shift he NEEDS to go to the doctor and have tests done. There could be literally something wrong in his brain or body.
The sadder possibility is drug use and I really hope thatās not it because thatās not so easily fixed.
If nothing is wrong though Iām really confused on why heād suddenly be like this other than you have behavior heās sick of. It doesnāt make it right to treat you that way though. If it is indeed the case you guys should just divorce already.
You work. He donāt. He has nothing to offer you other than a false sense of security. Itās all mine games! You kick his abusive cheating ass to the curb and enjoy your life without that free loading dead weight! Staying for the kids will only show them that itās ok to be mistreated. Would you rather your kids see you happy and alone than together and it be toxic? You can do this!
Spent 12 yrs w my kids dadā¦not worth itā¦and much better after I left
Common nowā¦ you know what to do.
You make the money girl. I know your hurt but you gotta be smart for you and esp those babies. They donāt need to watch or be around that energy.
Yes you can make it Divorce this dude he is a looser!!!
You work and he doesnātā¦ Youāre already doing it on your ownā¦ Get child care and be done.
The day he laid a hand on you should of been his last. Youāre better off and donāt deserve that! Of course itās scary to leave & start over. But you got this!
SMH. Girl fix your crown, hold your head up and get the hell out of there. You got this.
LEAVEEEE. RUN AND DONT LOOK BACK. These are the instances in which women end up dead. Theyāre afraid to leave so they deal until it kills them, literally. You are NOT financially relying on him, making it MUCH easier for you to leave than most women have it. Take all of his belongings, put them on the curb, change your locks, and involve the cops if you have to.
jou gott a job. gett out of there its not going to gett better.
You donāt need no man. Iāll tell every women that . You donāt need no manā¦ if you are working , and he is staying at home I canāt really say you are doing it by yourself , while you work does he help take care of the house , the kids , does he clean , cook, dishes. Laundry. If not then you are doing it all by yourselfā¦ But it is NOt a woman jobās to take care of a man , unless something happens and yāall both was already working and he got laid off or fired , and is trying to find another job, or is disabled , Thatās different, but the man should be the provider of the main houseā¦ Sometimes things doesnāt work even after 20+ yearās, donāt be scared to leave him and if he decides to changes his way then maybe give it another try but if he goes back to the same way file for divorceā¦ Sometimes it also takes losing what you really love and want to be able to see if itās meant to be and find its way backā¦ And if it donāt work out divorce hunā¦ also tell him how it is , NO MAN OR WOMEN SHOULD BE ENTERTAINING ANOTHER MALE OR FEMALE WHILE TOGETHER , just because your working doesnāt give him the right to entertain another person at allā¦ and your kids Iām not sure how old they are but they will understand if they are old enough, sometimes itās also better for the kids as well but a unhappy environment makes the environment unhealthy and unhappy for the kids as wellā¦ kidās can tell when things are wrong.
Dump His LAZY ASS YOU CAN DO BETTER I DID HAPPY AS CAN BE
I can relate 110%ā¦ I left Jan 2020ā¦ it was hardā¦ And identical situation. Iām 35. We had been together pretty well since I was 15ā¦ 2 kidsā¦houseā¦ marriaged. There was alot of abuse. Aug of 2019 our daughter she was 14ā¦ had a babyā¦ added more of a dynamic to it allā¦ but here I am . Almost 2 years laterā¦ I left with the kids as it was how it was. The kids went with me mainly cause dad never had a predictable schedule. I always did all the mom stuff and dad did what he could when he wantd so away the 3-4 of us wentā¦ itās hard as hell some days/weeksā¦ I wonder how in the hell Iām gonna make it all workā¦ And with Christmas. I am stressed. My girls say I can be intolerable some days. Lol. But I work my ass off. I get no support . Left with the my stuff and a storage locker of stuff. No pay out on house. Signed it over a year ago as I didnāt want the bullshit battleā¦ as i know it would have beenā¦ him and some of how family said I wouldnāt gt anything if i fought anyway ā¦ I didnāt give 2 shitsā¦ I can say I got where I amā¦ ON my ownā¦ I bought a truck last Julyā¦ I always wanted a truckā¦ 
. Itās all mine. U can do itā¦ I didnāt want my girls seein thatā¦ they had for to long. We all deserved betterā¦ him, me the kidsā¦ we were not happy. Best of luckā¦ the first step is the hardestā¦ but I swear to u itās worth itā¦ I loved him so much but I had to love me and the kids more. U got this.
You can do this. You do not want to teach your children that being treated like that is okay. Please start calling the police when he gets violent. It needs to be documented. Then get proof of his infidelityā¦you can do this. Starting over is hard. But itās worth it hun. God bless you
You work he stats home? Why do you need him? Leave or make him leave.
Nah girl heās the one who canāt make it without you! Youāve got this!
Youāre already doing it alone! Plus all the other added stress. Change is scary but honestly set yourself free.
Hun run from the cunt donāt look back, donāt fall for the stories or tricks, donāt take his sympathy just start running, youāll be fine the experience is a shit one but makes you a hell of a lot stronger!! My ex fiancĆ© left me at the beginning of the year and I couldnāt thank her enough she gave me a saving grace because now I am such a stronger and better person then I was
Honey if you work and he stays home. Why do you even want him? Walk out that door and donāt look back. You are a woman and you got this. Iām not a religeous person but Iāve always heard when GOD closes one door he opens another one
RUN and donāt look back!!!
Take the kids and leave now. If this behavior is new to him - he needs to have medical evaluation - there could be something physical going on in his head. A former neighbor started being really mean to his wife and she finally made him see a doctor - he had a brain tumor - - - -. But I would get you and the kids out first.
Prayers your way sweetheartā¦ you are Godās child,you can make it!
Leave. Go now. Your kids see the abuse and thatās unfair. You donāt have to ever talk bad about him to them, they see it themselves. Show your kids strength and courage. They will thank you.
Bless you , you poor lady. Find the fire 
in your belly beneath
what scares you the most? I have been there it only gets worse if you stay and there are so many resources out there that even when I left I didnāt know about!! You donāt want your kids growing up thinking that this treatment is ok.
You said it ! You can do better!
You have childrenā¦
So, you are more afraid of being alone than raising messed up children who watch their mom get beaten up?
You have to run. For and fast.
He hits you, call the police and get a restraining order. File for divorce and custody.
Youāll have your children, you wonāt be alone.
File charges on him and a restraining order for the physical abuse that way there is proof. You shouldnāt have to leave your home nor should ur kids , heās the problem not u.
Everyone is telling her to leave the way I see it sheās the one working. I would have his A** put out in a heartbeat. Girl your the one working sounds like your already doing it alone so stay where your at and kick him out. With him being abusive and you having kids the cops would gladly help you put him out.
Document on a calendar, EVERY TIME ! ā¦ press charges now so those to are documentedā¦ donāt waitā¦ if youāre working and he is not, heāll go after alimonyā¦Document EVERYTHING! (((HUGS))) AND GOOD VIBES FOR YOU LUV 
YOU GOT THIS
Honey you can. Iām divorced, too. Was cheated on. And now my ex husband is transiting into a woman. I was broken, scared, hurt, angry. Then I picked myself up & decided it was time for me to smile once again. And now I am the happiest Iāve been in a long time. I finally have also met the love of my life. You could make it. And find your smile again, as well.
It is possible I donāt know about others but I had start over from an abusive relationship a really bad one with my kids it was scary but once I was in motion I got to a domestic violence shelter for women and children who help you get benefits assistance and a place to get you on your feet safely
You are the breadwinner. He is the one who is being kept up. Ask him to leave. You are able to take care of yourself!
Youāre already doing it alone. You work, and he doesnāt. On top of it, he is now physically abusive. Donāt walk, run! Take you and the kids and leave.
you can call police tell them whats up they can take you and kids to a place he cannot find this place will help you get all you need for you and kids i worked on a womens hot line not even i knew where the place the police will take you there is alot of help out there but every day you stay is a chance for him to really hurt you prayers
You pay the bills. He depends on you. What more is there to say? Eff him. Youāre paying for his living. Youāre doing it already on your own. You donāt need him.
Start saving up money & hide it. Search for a place to move with your children.
Then leave him!
Donāt let him try to scare you. Call the cops to pack your stuff.
Youāre already making it alone make him leave
My kids tell me it was the best thing I ever did! And I know it! More than 10 years on and he is doing the same to his new lady. Iām thankful I had the balls to do it.
You will be ok.
One step at a time!
Just do it.
Please hurry before you get hurt!
Your encouragement is picking yourself up, adjusting your crown, and kicking his sorry ass out. Staying āfor the kidsā is garbage. All that does is teach them itās ok for a partner to abuse them. Not ok! You and your babies deserve better.